Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS Hour 2 | Should He Stay or Should He Go? The Stepdad Debate Heats Up

Transcript

DLHS Hour 2 | Should He Stay or Should He Go? The Stepdad Debate Heats Up · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It is the day. Are you be sure you're twenty
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: twenty six?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Dis remember I'm glad be in Houston starting tomorrow Tomorrow,
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: two Saturday and one Sunday at the Houston Emperor, one
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: of my very favorite places to place. Will come check
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: me out if you're take a notion. A woman says this.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, because I don't want to be with you no more.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: You're not coming to my son game tomorrow.
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: We've been together for two years. Two years.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: That's all the times you was playing the games with him,
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: practicing with him, telling him that you love him. It's
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: not like I'm asked you to buy him nothing. I'm
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: asked you to still be there like.
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: You've been doing. That's up. He looks up to you.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: Why don't what you tell him that you love him?
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: He's nine years old.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: He really thinks that you give up about him.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Skip. What do you think? Do you think? Do you
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: stay in the kid's life or do you do you skidadle?
• 0:48
  Speaker 5: You know what I think. There's no automatic obligation. It's
• 0:52
  Speaker 5: whatever that person feels.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: And I guess obligation sounds like a horrible word to
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: using this.
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, obligation, I mean you have obligations to your own children.
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: But this apparently is not your children. Even though you
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: might have been in that child's life for a while,
• 1:04
  Speaker 5: it didn't work out with you and the mother. And yeah,
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: I mean, you can cut bait and leave, or you
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: if you've got a relationship, you can keep on. But
• 1:10
  Speaker 5: it's you know now, what happens when the mother moves
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: on and has another man in their life. His things
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: gonna be complicated now, So you don't have a baby.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: Daddy ain't gonna have you, and then you're gonna have
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: a new knew you, So.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: You might well leave your losses. You might as well
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: leave breaking a new family. You know what I'm saying.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: You had practice already, so yeah you're already.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, don't make the same mistake twice. It does
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: get more and more complicated. It does get more and
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: more complicated, especially you attached to them. I've known people
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: they've been together for a very long time. They break
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: up and the kids are still what would Brad excrew
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: me up being afflict broke up with his wife and
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: his mother in law still loves his wife.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: They still hang out. Tyler and Alex is not together,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: but I sneak over see his wife.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: I've seen her.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I would too, but I digress. That's not.
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: I do.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I sneak up and hang out with her, and I
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: still call She still calls me Dad.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I don't care like that.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: You should have bought him in my life. You don't
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: want me to like him. There you go, you should
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: have bought him in my life. All right, we're gonna
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: get you more of your calls.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: In a bit of.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Sadel Hughgley Show, the One Boy's cruise cabins are going fast,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: so contacts us as OV two O two six dot
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: com or you can call us at two one four
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: four nineteen sixty three.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Uh, here is a scenario.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, because I don't want to be with you no more.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: You're not coming to my son game tomorrow.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: We've been together for two years. Two years.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: That's all the times you was playing the games with him,
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: practicing with him, telling him that you love him. It's
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: not like I'm asked you to buy him nothing. I'm
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: asking you to still be there like you've been doing.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: That's up. He looks up to you. Why don't what
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: you tell him that you love him? He's nine years old.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: He really thinks that you give up about him.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Do you stay in the child's life or do you
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: ski dad or give us a call let us know
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: what you think. Yeah, so that that is a very
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: interesting question, Jasmine.
• 2:55
  Speaker 6: Have you ever had that happen? I actually have a
• 2:59
  Speaker 6: not had that happen. I know several babies happened. I
• 3:04
  Speaker 6: know several people that it's happened too. Well, you know what,
• 3:07
  Speaker 6: that's not true. I actually did have a situation where
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: I was dating a guy who had a daughter, and
• 3:12
  Speaker 6: she and I became very close and I left him,
• 3:16
  Speaker 6: but I kept her because I liked her, she liked me.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: She must have been forgettable because you didn't remember it
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: right away, That's all I'm saying.
• 3:24
  Speaker 6: Yeah, because it was a it was a number of
• 3:25
  Speaker 6: years ago, you know me, lady a certain nude. Yeah,
• 3:29
  Speaker 6: a while ago.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I've had kids a long time ago.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I still remember them.
• 3:32
  Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, Well, she's she wasn't my kid.
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: I'm saying. We kept a relationship and then you know,
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: she know, she was young then she was eight. Now
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: she's you know, a teenager, probably in her twenties. And
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: we kept in contact for a long time and h
• 3:45
  Speaker 6: but me and the guy were super cool. He got
• 3:47
  Speaker 6: a new girlfriend, I got a new man. It was
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: all good.
• 3:49
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: So yeah, she just chuck chucked the girl to the side.
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: Then after no, no, no, we continue to talk. But you
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: know what happens as young girls and young boys, as
• 3:56
  Speaker 6: they girl go through that that space of being a teenager.
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: You know, they move away from their parents or anybody
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: else because they think they know better, or they get
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: busy with their lives, and so it just became one
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: of those things. But she still hit am on social
• 4:07
  Speaker 6: media and it's.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Just a what's your name? Yeah, it's tired. Explain in
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: the situation. Your calls are coming up directly on the D. L.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Hugley Show. The question we're asking her this is scenario.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: But because I don't want to be with you no more,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: you're not coming to my son day tomorrow.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: We've been together for two years. Two years.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: That's all the times you was playing the games with him,
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: practicing with him, telling him that you love him. It's
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: not like I'm asking you to buy him nothing. I'm
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: asking you to still be there like you've been doing.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: That's he looks up to you. Why don't what you
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: tell him that you love him. He's nine years old.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: He really thinks that you give up about him.
• 4:48
  Speaker 8: Do you agree?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: We're going right to the phones.
• 4:51
  Speaker 9: So and he should talk to this day and the
• 4:54
  Speaker 9: moment has been the difference since I was like two
• 4:55
  Speaker 9: thousand and five to talk everything.
• 4:58
  Speaker 10: Okay, I get all the pants on emotional connection.
• 5:01
  Speaker 7: To people in general. That's why you shouldn't bring men
• 5:06
  Speaker 7: around your children. If you're dating this man, just dating
• 5:11
  Speaker 7: until something is really serious and concrete in your relationship
• 5:14
  Speaker 7: and you know he's proposed to you or you know
• 5:18
  Speaker 7: it's close to that, then maybe bring them around your children. Otherwise,
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: you just don't bring your boyfriends around your children because
• 5:24
  Speaker 7: they get attached and you're doing harm to them. So
• 5:27
  Speaker 7: let's so, is she going to bring the next guy
• 5:30
  Speaker 7: around her children also? And then they get attached to
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: them and that lasts a year or six months or
• 5:35
  Speaker 7: whatever it is, and then you bring somebody else, you're
• 5:38
  Speaker 7: doing harm to the children.
• 5:40
  Speaker 10: Yo.
• 5:41
  Speaker 11: My thoughts on the question is I feel the lady's pain.
• 5:45
  Speaker 11: I'm kind of going through a similar situation and I'm
• 5:49
  Speaker 11: not able to see my son. He's my stepson, but
• 5:52
  Speaker 11: he my son, and my situation in my breakup with
• 5:56
  Speaker 11: my ex. I'm not allowed to see my son, so
• 6:00
  Speaker 11: in my absence of him, I have to ride around
• 6:03
  Speaker 11: like with stuff because I don't know when I'm gonna
• 6:05
  Speaker 11: get to see him. And I have to ride around
• 6:07
  Speaker 11: with stuff that I buy him and give it to
• 6:09
  Speaker 11: him when I when I'm able to see him, because
• 6:12
  Speaker 11: I want to still be there for him and be
• 6:14
  Speaker 11: there in his life because he needs God and these
• 6:16
  Speaker 11: young people need God, and I want to be there
• 6:19
  Speaker 11: for him, but I'm not allowed to. So I feel
• 6:21
  Speaker 11: her pain because the absence that it's there that needs
• 6:25
  Speaker 11: to be feeled, I'm not able to feel it, and
• 6:27
  Speaker 11: I want to so bad and and and the feeling
• 6:31
  Speaker 11: of not being able to be there it hurts real bad.
• 6:34
  Speaker 11: So I feel her on her on her pain.
• 6:37
  Speaker 12: Now.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Genus was saying, if you have a big heart, I
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: don't think the hardest as important as your wallet. If
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: they yeah, they're about equal and close close herd as
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: good as long as the wilet is open, baby, you know, or.
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: Other factors you know, because it could be love or
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: it could be yeah, the kid could be a blue
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: chip prospect.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Who I would say she has more than one kid
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: picked the one with the best prospect. That determines a lot.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and don't get too used him because they've been
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: abandoned before, so they used to it.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: You know, the call.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: CAUs that is rough, kid though, like you've been in
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: their life and then and then all of a sudden
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: you're gone and they you know, they go through That's
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: that is tough.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: You wonder where all of the label on the back
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: of your clothes says return to Cindy.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: You know that's not that's accident. And all kids ain't
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: loving Some of them are calculating, Yes, they keep you around.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Your mommy and daddy left. That's why who gets the
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: biggest allowance is the one they liked him.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And we got more of your calls coming
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: up the day you solf. So the question we want
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: to know, here's the scenario, because I don't.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Want to be with you no more.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: You're not coming to my son game tomorrow.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: We've been together for two years. Two years.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: That's all the times you was playing the games with him,
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: practicing with him, telling him that you love him. It's
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: not like I'm asked you to buy him nothing. I'm
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: asking you to stud be there like you've been doing
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: that's he looks up to you.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: What you tell him that you love him. He's nine
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: years old, he really.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Thinks about him. What do you think we'll go right
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: to the fall today?
• 8:09
  Speaker 8: Yes? Yes? And here yes, And it depends on the situation.
• 8:13
  Speaker 8: I mean, she'silent. She said that she's breaking up. She
• 8:16
  Speaker 8: don't want to be with him no more so he's heartbroken.
• 8:18
  Speaker 8: But when it comes to the child, I have ex
• 8:22
  Speaker 8: that had kids before we get together, and they are
• 8:26
  Speaker 8: grown now and we and I still have a great
• 8:28
  Speaker 8: relationship with them. And uh, because it's not about the relationship,
• 8:32
  Speaker 8: especially when kids involved, it's about the child. It's about
• 8:34
  Speaker 8: the kids. And and you got to be very careful
• 8:37
  Speaker 8: how you treat kids, you know, because you never know.
• 8:39
  Speaker 8: I mean that maybe that child may grow up to
• 8:41
  Speaker 8: be you know, famous or something like that. You know,
• 8:43
  Speaker 8: and you see her looking crazy now because you didn't
• 8:46
  Speaker 8: want to be in the child life. So but yeah,
• 8:49
  Speaker 8: I'm staying I'm in the kid life. I got exes
• 8:52
  Speaker 8: that still have kids and they've grown now and I'm
• 8:54
  Speaker 8: still in their life and we still have a good relationship.
• 8:56
  Speaker 8: So I'm staying in the child life. That's just me.
• 8:59
  Speaker 12: Ye in that child's life since then, Yeah, I feel
• 9:04
  Speaker 12: like you need to be there as a father figure,
• 9:07
  Speaker 12: you know, because you're all that child knows. Now, if
• 9:11
  Speaker 12: y'all've only been together year or two years and the
• 9:15
  Speaker 12: child is like seven and now they're nine, that's a
• 9:18
  Speaker 12: little different because at the end of the day, you're
• 9:21
  Speaker 12: gonna go on with your life and that child is
• 9:23
  Speaker 12: gonna go on with their lives. And then that child's life.
• 9:26
  Speaker 12: Since child was a baby, then yeah, you need to
• 9:29
  Speaker 12: be there for that child.
• 9:30
  Speaker 13: Hey, this brother Daniel.
• 9:33
  Speaker 14: I heard her say two years. You know, we got
• 9:35
  Speaker 14: to look at the situation. Two years he was in
• 9:38
  Speaker 14: a person's life, and yeah, he can still be cool
• 9:41
  Speaker 14: with him. But she gotta remember he's not the baby daddy.
• 9:45
  Speaker 14: You know, we said two years, he's nine years old.
• 9:48
  Speaker 14: The math don't match. So I feel, you know, don't
• 9:51
  Speaker 14: just disrespect the relationship between you and the child, but
• 9:55
  Speaker 14: understand to the mother that hey, I'm not his true daddy,
• 9:58
  Speaker 14: So give me some le see some respect on it,
• 10:02
  Speaker 14: and I'll do what I can with you. But I
• 10:04
  Speaker 14: don't want him to get used to me and we
• 10:06
  Speaker 14: going different ways, you know what I mean.
• 10:09
  Speaker 10: Hi, I'm a grandmother, so my son had a girlfriend
• 10:13
  Speaker 10: who had a three year old girl, and then they
• 10:16
  Speaker 10: got married and they were together for ten years. This
• 10:19
  Speaker 10: girl is now about to turn twenty. I'm not gonna
• 10:22
  Speaker 10: stop being in her life when they broke up. I
• 10:24
  Speaker 10: continue doing what I did for her. Bought her Christmas
• 10:28
  Speaker 10: gift and took her out and birthday gifts. Last year
• 10:32
  Speaker 10: for graduation gifts. I took her with my daughter on
• 10:36
  Speaker 10: the cruise we're getting ready to go to Sea Usher
• 10:39
  Speaker 10: and Chris Brown have taken her to that. When she
• 10:42
  Speaker 10: started school, I pretty much purchased everything she needed for
• 10:46
  Speaker 10: her dorm room, you know, taking her off for Thanksgiving
• 10:48
  Speaker 10: and everything. My son to say, he picked her up,
• 10:51
  Speaker 10: took her out, you know, for Father's Day dinner. Because
• 10:55
  Speaker 10: he's the only man that's been in her life. So no,
• 10:58
  Speaker 10: I say, you know, yeah, it may depend on the person,
• 11:02
  Speaker 10: but the children in this case.
• 11:05
  Speaker 13: No, she's part of my family, she's my granddaughter.
• 11:07
  Speaker 10: She goes to the family reunion everything.
• 11:10
  Speaker 13: Oh yeah, man, I don't think that that brother should
• 11:13
  Speaker 13: you know, stay like that?
• 11:15
  Speaker 7: Man.
• 11:15
  Speaker 13: I mean I've been with women before and longer than
• 11:19
  Speaker 13: two years, six years, and the woman took the child
• 11:22
  Speaker 13: away from me after we developed the bond, so he's
• 11:25
  Speaker 13: not obligated to stay with the child. If he want
• 11:28
  Speaker 13: to leave, he can leave. And that's just that.
• 11:31
  Speaker 9: It all depends on like the child and the father's
• 11:36
  Speaker 9: in the man's relationship, you know, because some relationships are complicated.
• 11:42
  Speaker 12: In others, so it's all about how the kid.
• 11:45
  Speaker 14: And the man gets along.
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: You know. If they get along, great.
• 11:48
  Speaker 14: Then they can get to ease the relationship. But you know,
• 11:51
  Speaker 14: if it's complicated.
• 11:52
  Speaker 11: And the kid don't want to do anything and the
• 11:54
  Speaker 11: man don't want to do anything, it's not gonna work.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: This is the day