Latest / One Voice Many Conversations / Truth Be Told Ep #006 JESUS teaches us how to pray. Hosts Mickey & Bethany

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Truth Be Told Ep #006 JESUS teaches us how to pray. Hosts Mickey & Bethany · One Voice Many Conversations

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of Until My Watch is Over.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is a podcast where we talk about dementia.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: We also talk about how dementia is a killing disease.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Dementia is the sixth top killing disease in our nation.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's really important that we talk about it.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about awareness, the do's and don'ts, the ins and outs, and everything about it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that we can expose or bring to the table to make it easier for anyone that's a caregiver or a loved one that has dementia, that's what we should be talking about.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So today's episode, I want to talk about the different stages of dementia.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just recap a little bit.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: My last episode, I talked about the umbrella of dementia.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I was learning about dementia and Alzheimer's, I literally thought Alzheimer's and dementia were two different types of diseases when in fact I was wrong.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Alzheimer's is dementia.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just like Lewy body or uh interfrontal um uh dementia, there's there's Jacobson's and there's there's a few others that we will get into in a in a different episode.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But knowing that there are different types of dementia brings me to um sharing with you the different stages of dementia.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So what I have found, or so far, what I've researched, is a lot of the symptoms are very similar with the different types of dementia.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: The cognitive decline seems to be about the same.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about it.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: There are basically overall seven stages of dementia.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I personally believe within each stage there's more stages.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think, um, just from experience on this one, is that sometimes a loved one will start showing symptoms of one stage and then go back to the stage that they were in previously.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've had that experience before, and so um my shoulder.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um I've had that experience before.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I I've actually um it's exciting a little bit.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, I don't want to get y'all excited here, when you see someone who cognitively declines and then they get a little bit better.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes um that can bring a little bit of false hope to you when you think about how um dementia really works and what it does to your mind and and you know, to the person's um ability or inability to use their brain functions normally.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: So let's dive into the seven stages, and then towards the end, we will jump into our tip of the day.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, definitely want you to follow along, stay connected, engage, okay?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, this podcast is to help people that are struggling with dementia.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is also to bring awareness, and it also I want to encourage you to, if you want to be a guest on this show and you want to talk about dementia, something that you're going through, something that you've experienced, something that you might be able to bring to the table, excuse me, and share with others that might help bring again more awareness to what dementia is really like, what it's all about.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's not a fun disease.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't really met anyone yet that says, I absolutely love this, love this disease.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it would be insane if someone actually said that to me.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, most people are the opposite, they say how much they hate it.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm inviting you, I'm inviting you to join me to come on board as we build this community and we we raise awareness for um dementia.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so join with me, will you?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to join with me.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: So let's dive into um our topic today, which are the seven stages.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: The first stage I want to talk about is um we all know dementia means a cognitive decline.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, dementia, when it's considered to be dementia, is when it starts started starts to cause your loved one to not be able to function in um a normal environment, excuse me, environment.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So um if they're not able to do their daily life um stuff, like just functioning normally on a daily.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: So if it starts causing them to not be able to do that, that's when you'll see the signs of dementia.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one thing I want to point out is that um in stage one, which I'm not sure why they call it stage one, that I I guess.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um stage one we is where to me I think we should start seeing a cognitive decline.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: But stage one is actually when there is no cognitive decline, there's no obvious signs of dementia, they're still able to function independently.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's no memory loss.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: They they can remember, they're sharp, they're very sharp, um, and they're just mentally healthy.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: They just have um an ability to function normally, you know.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So that's stage one.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I always got confused with that because I always thought stage one should be the first signs of dementia, not no signs of dementia.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I am not the scientist behind all of the information that I'm sharing with you.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have done my research and I found across the board that there are different types, uh, lots, lots of information out there, and there are different types of um ways to look at dementia.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to share my information, but I'm also going to share what I think about it if you don't mind.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: So now, stage two of dementia, this is where um it's very mild.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Cognitive um decline is super mild.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's just just a couple of things that make you go, hmm, I wonder.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if um your loved one might need to get tested, or hmm, maybe I need to get tested, or hmm, you know, it's that hmm factor, that moment when we we may experience some normal forgetness.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's that's associated with aging.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: We we're we're aging, and as we get older, our mind ages, our body ages.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um we are going to show some forgetfulness that is normal.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: But stage two is when dementia is barely noticeable.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, meaning you have dementia, but you're not showing it yet.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're not showing the stages, okay?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're not showing the effects of what is gonna happen.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, stage three, um, again, the the the first three stages are basically all mild stages from no cognitive decline to just a little bit of unforgetfulness in stage two.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then stage three again is a mild cognitive decline, but you're still able to get up and go to the bathroom.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're still able to get dressed, um, able to have a conversation, experience um you might start experiencing some unforgetfulness, some slight difficulty concentrating, concentrating on what it is you're supposed to be doing throughout the day.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but you're still functioning.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: You can still, like I said, use the restroom.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can still get up and get dressed, you can still get up and take your medication if you're on medication.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you can still do laundry.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's certain things, certain normalcies, even in the mild stages of the cognitive decline, that you can still perform while um dementia is starting to progress.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: So with stage three, you might start to see that you get lost in what it is that you're doing throughout the day.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's gonna be a little bit more forgetfulness, and um you might actually even stumble on words, words that you're trying to say.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: What is it that I'm trying to talk about?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you're have having a conversation, trying to gauge in someone or with someone, and you're not able to fully um communicate what it is that you're thinking or trying to say.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, also, this is usually the stage, stage three is where your loved ones normally are going to start noticing that there's something off.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna notice that there's some frequent forgetfulness, confusion, and um your communication skills are just not what they used to be.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: So stage three is where it starts to get recognized.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's kind of interesting, if you if you will.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's very interesting, actually.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where we start going into from, you know, like I said, first three stages are very mild cognitive decline, but this is where we start going into a more moderate stage.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: So from from stage four and five, these are moderate stages of decline.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about stage four.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is where you you may struggle with cooking.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Are any of you at that stage yet?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can totally give you some stories on the down low of that.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um so, like I mentioned previously before, um my mom had dementia, and so did my grandmother.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Where I noticed a lot of her cognitive decline was in the kitchen.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: The kitchen.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my mom was a a fantastic cook.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: She was amazing, and she had some of the greatest recipes and could cook just anything.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when I noticed her struggling with cooking and her food just was not the same, some of it became some of her food actually became um unrecognizable and uneatable.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: We could not even eat it because it was like a concoction of I have no idea what she put in it, and I was not going to even go there and eat it.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Matter of fact, I would do my best to try to dispose of it without her knowing about it, so that it wouldn't hurt her feelings or upset her.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll also notice that um with going into the moderate stages that they struggle to do their laundry, they struggle to even use the phone, or if they use the computer, um, they have trouble with that.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's not easy for them to do it.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: So also um they have um events of memory loss.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: They they just forget things that have happened or occurred.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or if you remind them, hey, you have an appointment, they're like, Uh, you know, I have an appointment, I don't remember I have an appointment.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um even day-to-day things, they're gonna forget, and you will really start to see the decline happening here.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna become more and more and more.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna you're gonna notice it more often, okay?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it's they they will well, they intend to withdraw themselves because they're not sure what's going on with them, what's happening to me.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Something's changing, and I don't understand it.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not able to function the way I normally do.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: So they will withdraw, like back away from family.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: They don't want to go places, they don't want to go to go shopping, they don't want to go to the store, they don't want to go to family events, they don't want family to come over and visit because you know what?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: If they're noticing it with themselves and they're feeling some anxiousness and confusion with it, they're probably not going to want somebody else to notice it as well.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll see them.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's it's a real common factor that they will withdraw from you or your family or from people in general or from activities because they they're starting to get more and more um nervous about what's happening with them.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So don't be surprised if their social activities decline, okay, starting in this stage.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: They're definitely going to have some declining.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, at this point in time, a physician can definitely um detect cognitive problems.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: The the diagnosis is going to be evident.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: They can they can detect it right away.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: So in the earlier stages, in the mild cognitive stages, it's a little bit harder.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And they do have some like specific tests that they have that you can have done to see if you're kind of leaning that direction, but they may not be 100% accurate yet until you actually start getting to the moderate stages of dementia.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I just kind of wanted to share that with you as well.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: So let's look at stage five.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Stage five, okay.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, still we're in the moderate stages, like I said, four and five are moderate stages.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So your loved one may show um a lot of major memory deficiencies.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: They can't remember, they just can't remember.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be their memory.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I have found with this situation, reminiscing is vital, very vital, because we we want to keep our memories, of course, of them, but we also want to remind them.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if we're talking about fun and enjoying and exciting memories, those are great.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to bring up all the anything that that was bad.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like the bad memories let them go.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to try to bring those memories up.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And also don't bring up the fact that they don't remember.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I struggled with that.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna lie, I really struggled with it when my mom had dementia and I knew she had it, she had not been diagnosed.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: She got diagnosed later than sooner.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And even though I knew that she was showing symptoms, even her doctor was thinking that because she had some other medical issues that that could cause some of her um inabilities to function properly, she would dismiss it.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And finally I just said, What is the harm of getting her checked?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just get her checked.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm pretty sure something is wrong here.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure my mom has dementia.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the thing that I did though is when I would talk to my mom, I would forget and I'd be like, Well, don't you remember?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Of course I don't remember.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: What am I thinking?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: What was I thinking?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I say, Well, you know, mom, you remember.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you, mom?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you remember?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't realize I was doing that.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that puts shame and guilt on them when they don't remember.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want to do that.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've done that, I was guilty.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I actually went and told my mom I was sorry for doing that because I was I didn't understand what it was that I was actually doing myself with her.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, not realizing that we have to be careful with what we even say to people with dementia because it's not their fault.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have any control over it.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: It is a disease, it's not something they're doing by choice.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if they forget, it's not their fault.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to try yourself, if you're a caregiver or you're a family member, whatever, taking care of your love, you have to always remember that they're declining and not by choice.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: So let's not add any more guilt or shame to it because I I I did this and I just felt so bad.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And but once I realized what I was doing, um, and I stopped doing it, it made things so much more better.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: It really did make things better.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: There was a there was a huge improvement.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: So also at this stage, um, in stage five, you're there they're gonna need some assistance.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna need assistance with cooking, they're gonna need assistance with cleaning their house, doing laundry, day-to-day tasks.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is where I caution you and want you to be very mindful of their independence because it's important that they keep their independence for as long as they can.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because think about it, would you want to lose all of your independence and just solely want to re rely on somebody else to do everything for you?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Especially if you've you've gone through your whole life with all of these accomplishments and things that you've achieved, and now you're not able to do any of them, you can't function.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have people coming in and doing it for you.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: It can really um put a damper on your on your mind and your spirit.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it can cause depression and anxiety because you're just not able they're just not able to function.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: But you can help them function by not removing their independence.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Allow them to be as independent as they can.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: If they're able to get up and get a drink of water, let them.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: If they're able to put their shoes and socks on, let them.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: If they're able to even just button up their shirt, let them.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to help them put it on, but say, okay, why don't you try buttoning it?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you just try a couple of buttons?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if they can do it, fantastic.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: If they can't and they're and they're getting frustrated, struggling, that's when you step in and go, can I help you with that?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you a hand.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: How about you let me help you?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like me to do that for you?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Not here, I'm gonna do it.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Just you can't do it, I'm gonna do it.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you you gotta really be mindful in your thinking.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that when you're taking care of your loved one and you start getting into routines, you kind of get used to doing everything for them.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta remember, don't take away their independence.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: They need it for as long as they can have it.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that, okay?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: So even though they need that assistance, okay, um, they're going to need assistance with almost all of their daily activities.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, their memory loss is going to be more prominent.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna be very forgetful.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, where did I put my keys?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Where did I park my car?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Did I drive?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of these things are are are gonna start surfacing as you'll see.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you'll see this, okay?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's again a moderate stage of dementia.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's go in to the severe stage of dementia, which is stage six.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, like I said, there's only seven stages, and throughout these stages, you're gonna see some of them connect and unconnect and connect, okay?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the only reason why I say this is because I literally have experienced this connect and disconnect through the stages with with loved ones and working in nursing homes.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've I've seen it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes they will, like I said, revert back a little bit, which is a good thing.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then then they'll kind of sometimes really quickly decline.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it depends on each individual person.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: No one is going to be exactly the same.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: These are just some of the stages to help you understand kind of what it is that your loved one's going through, and to kind of understand what it is that you're seeing and and working with and dealing with and and trying to handle and make decisions for.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I like to share with these stages.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's nothing set 100% in stone exactly.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, as soon as they do this, they're Automatically in stage six, not necessarily.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now they may be gearing towards that, they might be moving over there, but that doesn't make them there yet.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do not rush the process because it's already gonna rush itself.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: Try to imagine them staying in the earliest stages as possible.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: And but when they do get to the next stage, just be have that preparedness, that awareness.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so stage six um is severe cognitive decline.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and um you definitely need to understand that they need a lot of help at this point.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: They need a lot of help.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: All of their day-to-day activities you're gonna be involved in no matter what it is.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: They will need help with everything.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they're gonna forget your name, they're gonna forget their family, they're gonna start forgetting a lot of memory loss, a lot of memory loss.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, watching TV can be um one of two things, actually.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: It could be good because it could be a distraction for them to keep their mind off from the fact that they're losing their memory, or two, it can bring back memories that causes confusion and agitation, and they may think that they're actually in the movie.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let me just give you an example, and I'm only sharing this because um it's quite cumbersome.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: But my grandmother was watching TV.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: We were watching um an ER show, a hospital show, and she loves like NCIS and criminal minds and you know, ER and stuff like that.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um I realized as she's watching these shows that we have to be very careful.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: So a lady came in that was pregnant and you know, was having complications, whatever, because emergency room, it's always drama in the ER room, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: So she's having all these complications.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, my grandma, about an hour after the show was over, thought she was pregnant.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this was back when she was like 90, probably 93.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: She's 95 now.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a while back.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and she really, really, really thought she was pregnant.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: And she was worried about the baby, and you know, worried about her stomach, and you know, all of these things.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember her talking about being pregnant, and it kind of threw me for a loop because I wasn't expecting her to say that, you know.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And oh, excuse me.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, tired.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you're a caregiver, you get tired.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just let you know that.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she thought she was gonna have a baby, and we we just kind of went along with it.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're not, you don't want to go, oh, that's just absurd, that's ridiculous.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're not pregnant, you're not gonna have a baby, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: In their mind, they really think that they are.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just give it about five or ten minutes, or do something different around them that's gonna take their mind from that thought to a different thought so that they don't think that any longer.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: My grandma, I always would say, had at that time had about a five to ten minute window.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: So within five to ten minutes of that conversation, it was gonna be interesting, but I knew that after that window was closed, it was gonna be a new topic of discussion.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: It was gonna be something different to talk about with her.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would definitely try to engage in a different, completely different type of conversation with her to get her mind off from thinking that she was pregnant.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, if that makes any sense at all.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: So they forget family names, they forget family members, they forget who you are.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they have very little memory of any recent events, they don't remember anything that's happened from the day before, even that day, even that day, okay.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they um may start to remember some moments from an earlier life, but um there there could be some confusion with it.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when they bring up moments from their earlier life, reminisce with them.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's really good for their mind to remember things that are familiar to them.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's very good for them.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's a healthy thing.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's a healthy thing, okay.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, now we don't want them to be stuck in the past, I get that, but we want them to be functioning, using their cognitive ability for what they have left.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if they do have moments of memory, engage.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I strongly encourage engagement.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's so healthy, okay.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um now, unless it's a bad memory, then you want to disengage it, okay?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: We don't want aggravation, we don't want anxiety, we don't want depression with this disease because it's horrible enough.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: We want to try to defuse that and bring in everything positive that we can, okay?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: So if they're talking about a bad memory, um, I would try to flip that switch.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: But if it's a good memory, go with it.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Go with it, bring bring more and more of it up so that you can enjoy it yourself.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's really helpful for yourself as a caregiver when you see your loved one not being able to remember things.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it's gonna help you, but it's also going to help them.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so keep that in mind, okay.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Also in stage six, incontinence.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's a problem.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm gonna say this.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: I disagree with this information when it comes to stage six, when it comes to being incontinent.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my mother was incontinent early on.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: She wasn't in stage six when she became incontinent.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: Same with my grandmother.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: My grandma was probably in four to stage four to five when she started becoming um dependent on some, you know, diapers and assist bathroom assistants, stuff like that.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it also varies on your loved ones' physical condition, I believe, where they're at with incontinence.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: So they may have a very healthy bladder, they may not have any issues, kidneys, livers, gallbladder, all of that may be fully intact and perfect.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: That would make sense for a stage six incontinent level.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: But for somebody that's had kidney issues, liver issues, gallbladder issues, um, even for like people that drink a lot of alcohol, um, there's or they have liver damage, um, fatty liver damage, or um have struggled with weight loss, you know, give or take.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: So these are some things that literally will um cause incontinence.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to be mindful, and when I'm sharing this information, that this may not 100% be exactly where you are or where your loved one is or where they're going to be.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I just wanted to share that.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to make sure I'm really clear.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, their ability to speak, also, you'll notice that they're just quiet.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're really quiet.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Usually, okay.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Some patients that I've had in the past are very vocal, but they're not speaking, they're blabbering, they're just muttering, they don't know how to get words out of their mouth.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you may occasionally get a few words, but it's just um a muddled conversation, which is it can be very sad to watch that.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you're also gonna see a lot of personality changes.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: Things that your loved one didn't do before, they may now do.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: And um be prepared for that because mentally, get yourself mentally prepared because some things that are gonna be done and said are going to upset you and hurt your feelings.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: I guarantee it.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been in places where some things have been said, and I was like, what in the world?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you need to understand that's not who they are, that's the disease talking.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: They're coming from a place of confusion, they're not coming from a place where they understand what's going on.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: So please keep in mind that it's not their fault when that happens.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's talk about stage seven.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: Stage seven is the very severe cognitive stage.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it this is when they absolutely cannot speak.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: They um need assistance with everything food, eating, taking their pills.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um they lose their um their psych motor skills, so they're not they can't function at all.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so they might not be able to walk, they might not be able to stand up.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: There, so my grandmother is in stage six, seven.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's where she's at, okay.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she kind of varies back and forth, and she's been in this stage for a while now, like seriously, since at least for a year, because she she broke her hip a year ago, almost almost to the day, actually.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: And um that set her way back, okay.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh physically, because of all of the pain that your body goes through, mentally, because now you lose even more functionability.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: And um, just your whole demeanor changes when one more thing is going on in your body that you don't want to be going on.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: She's already fighting dementia.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now she has a broken hip.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she would get infections.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: UTI infections are huge, especially with incontinent patients.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have a whole discussion on UTIs, it's huge.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but when they get to this stage, just know it could it could happen quickly or it could really take its sweet time.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: My grandma has been in this stage.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she cannot feed herself, or she can feed herself, I'm sorry.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: She cannot cook, you know, fix her food, but we have to put it right in front of her.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times she's using her hands to eat.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she's dumping her food into stuff, um, dumping her drink into her plate and mixing it all up, and you know, and and here's the thing to us, this is not normal.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: To her, she in her mind somehow knows what she's doing or thinks she knows what she's doing.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let her do it.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: She's not hurting nothing.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: So what if she makes a mess?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Messes can be cleaned up.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let her do it.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if she's gonna hurt herself, then intervene.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: But if she's not hurting anything or anyone, or him, you know, my loved one is a hurt.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Just let it be.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Let it go.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um sometimes my grandma likes to put stuff in her pill cup after I give her her pills and then I give her her food, and sometimes I'll set the pill cup on the table.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I usually try to put it up, but if I forget it, once in all, she'll take the pill cup and she'll put food in it and juice in it, and then she'll eat out of that.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: And then she'll pick at it, she'll eat out of it, and she just does some weird random stuff.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, it's weird, okay?
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's just strange.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Her behavior, her mannerisms are just interesting, okay.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean she's strange.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: That just means what's going on psychologically.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I know that is not normal because her cognitive decline has is is gone.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: When we get her up to move her, she doesn't realize she's she's wet, she doesn't realize if she's soiled, she she doesn't even care either.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't so what?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Leave me alone.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: She wants to be left alone.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: They have a hard time moving at this stage.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you want to make it as easy for them as possible.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's times when my grandma doesn't believe that she even has feet.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: So when we go to stand her up, she'll put her feet straight up in the air, and you're like, oh gosh, she's gonna fall down.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you'll have her standing up and she'll just sit down, sit right on you, because she's like, I don't want to stand.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: So it it's you have to be really careful.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you could get hurt.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: I've gotten hurt a couple of times, um, because you're you're the one there to catch them when they start to fall.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're the one there to pick them up, you're the one to move them, shift them, sit them up, turn them over, you know, all of this stuff.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing all of it now at this point.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to ask for help, and if you can't handle it, it's okay.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: It is okay.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's our there are days that my back has gone out lifting and picking up and pulling, and and you know, I feel like some days it's just a tug of war.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: And um it can be very painful.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: So take care of yourself as well.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: Having that in mind, I do want to jump on the on here real quick and um share with you guys a just um a fun tip.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let's let's shift gears here, okay?
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have all my fun tips.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um people say dementia is not fun, okay?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're right, it's not.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's very emotionally and physically and mentally draining on them and on you.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I 100% understand that.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that if we try to change our mindset on the matter, it'll make it easier for us to get through it and not have it make us feel so heavy.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we feel such a weight on us when we're watching someone that we love just go downhill.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: And there's days when, I don't know about you guys, but there's days when I'm like, man, you know, she sometimes I feel like my grandma's suffering in this.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I think to God, I'm like, God, what are you doing?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why are we, why are we still here?
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, not that I want her to, you know, to pass away.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes I think she would be better off, if that makes any sense.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, let me get to our fun tip of the day.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: I I was reading something the other day that caught my attention and I thought was really interesting, and I know, I know for a fact that colors um have a big impact on people with dementia.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you know that, but I do know, I do know that.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: But I am going to be actually doing a whole lesson on colors.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: But one color in particular, I want you to keep in mind because it could be dangerous.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is a dangerous color.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you know what it is.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: So the tip of the day is what is the dangerous color?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: The tip of the day is the color is black.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_00: Black.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so why is that?
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: Did you know if you have a black rug on the floor, your loved one, because of their cognitive decline, can assume that that's a hole in the ground and they may panic.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have a black mat in front of your door, two good things can happen with this.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't want them to leave the house, put a black mat in front of your door.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's a good tip for those of you that have those that like to sneak off and escape.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: My grandma's only gotten away from me one time.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: That'll be another story for another day.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, putting a black mat down will make them think that there's a hole there and they don't know how to get around it to get out the door.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that crazy to think of that?
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when if you have a black mat on the outside of the door and you're coming back, let's say you went to the store, you're going for a walk with them, you don't want them to panic because you're doing some activity with them.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: Remove the black mat and then have them walk up to the door because we don't want to cause them to panic or um become frightened when you're like trying to bring them home.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: They may not want to go in your home, they may not want to go back home if the black mat is there.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's a preventative, it keeps them from going forward because they envision a black hole.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_00: They think it's a hole in the ground and they don't want to fall in it.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's terrifying for them.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, tip of the day if you're trying to keep your loved one in the house, put a black mat in front of your door.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you're trying to bring your loved one home from an activity, remove the black mat from the door so that you can get inside the door, so that it doesn't cause terror or fright, frighten them.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: We don't we don't want to cause any more um confusion in with what they're already going through.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: So if we know these little fun facts and these tips, it it makes it not only easier for them, but also somewhat easier for us.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have black mats around your house, like in your kitchen or in your living room, my suggestion is get rid of them if they're still able to walk around.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if your loved one is not mobile, they don't walk around or anything, then don't worry about it.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: But like my grandmother right now, we have to walk her everywhere because she's barely walking.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes she's wheelchair bound, so it just depends on that.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: So she only goes where we take her.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I obviously wouldn't take her into the kitchen where there's a mat if it was black, okay?
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: So this is just my suggestion and a fun fact for you today.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that you got something out of that today.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: So now that we've completed our seven stages of dementia and we've had this discussion, and I got got you or gave you a fun fact for the day, um, message me and let me know where you're at, how you're doing.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, tell me your situation.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: Are you caring for a loved one?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: Are you caring for a mother, a father, a husband, a wife, a grandmother, a grandfather?
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I took care of my mother and my grandmother.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still caring for my grandmother.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I'm at currently.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or are you just working in a nursing home?
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are you a caregiver in a home?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um what wherever you're at, whatever your story is, drop me a line.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: Say hello, get involved, and get engaged, okay?
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_00: And know this you're not alone in this.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: No one is.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: We feel so lonely as caregivers sometimes.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that this information is very helpful for you.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed this um episode, and I thank you so much for being here.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, again, until my watch is over, y'all take care.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: Have a blessed day, and I'll talk to you in the next episode.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.