Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - Only an Idiot Would Think This Chicken Was Good
Transcript
- 0:00welcome to friends like us bonus improv can we get a suggestion joe yes thank you
- 0:22My suggestion is manifesting.
- 0:27Manifesting.
- 0:29I believe in that.
- 0:30I know you do.
- 0:30I was going to say, you're big into this.
- 0:32Yeah, I was cautious if I was going to bring it up.
- 0:35It's all about vibration, you know?
- 0:37You know, I have a frequency generator machine.
- 0:40You might have told me about this, but I forgot what that is.
- 0:43You can put any frequency you want in it.
- 0:45I go to sleep at 888 hertz.
- 0:47It's the abundance frequency.
- 0:49888?
- 0:50Yeah.
- 0:50what is that what does that look like or what does that sound like you don't hear it you don't hear
- 0:56it it's just so how do you know it's actually doing something trust okay but like how do you
- 1:05know it's actually like putting out you can plug in headphones if you want and hear it but i don't
- 1:11feel the need you're so trusting in your your frequency so um so that all right that's the
- 1:18abundance one what are some other frequencies anything you can think of zero to whatever
- 1:24what is 137 i don't know them all i only know the ones i'm interested in what else are you
- 1:31and i heard that 7.83 i could i hope i'm right about this is like the earth frequency
- 1:35frequency 7.83 yeah you're listening to 7.83 the frequency of the earth yeah yeah
- 1:43um so that but what else are you you're only interested in abundance or do you have another
- 1:50i want to know another frequency uh abundance um i'm i'm into the concept of like quantum leaping
- 1:58oh yeah so i go back to the past and right the wrongs or whatever no i want to go to just a side
- 2:05a side reality where certain things are tweaked for me okay you know yeah that would be fun yeah
- 2:13Did you ever watch Black Mirror?
- 2:14I've seen sporadic episodes.
- 2:16On the new ones?
- 2:17Did you see the one where she had that, like, device?
- 2:19I haven't seen.
- 2:20Oh.
- 2:21I'm not going to get into it then.
- 2:22Okay.
- 2:23Homework.
- 2:24All right.
- 2:25And now, improv.
- 2:33Mom Yeah I um mom yeah i um don be upset i did something i did something okay you know how you sent me to
- 2:43the store and told me to get some stuff yeah well i i was gonna but i i found someone who had
- 2:53a device.
- 2:55And they were willing to sell it for me.
- 2:58For me. To me.
- 3:00Okay. And I bought it.
- 3:02So we don't have groceries,
- 3:03and I am sorry about that.
- 3:05Well, you should be. It's Taco Tuesday.
- 3:08I guess we'll just have the memory of
- 3:10Tuesday's gone.
- 3:13What did you buy, honey?
- 3:14I bought a machine
- 3:15that makes
- 3:17confident people
- 3:19hate themselves.
- 3:23What?
- 3:24Yeah.
- 3:25It uses science.
- 3:27Why would you buy this machine?
- 3:30Well, because I don't have confidence.
- 3:33And I'm always so jealous of the people that do.
- 3:35Honey, you know, we've talked about this.
- 3:38Confidence comes from within.
- 3:40And you have beautiful eyes.
- 3:42I tell you that all the time.
- 3:44Yes, thank you.
- 3:45They had those beautiful eyes.
- 3:47Huh.
- 3:48Okay, so I guess you'll practice what you preach.
- 3:51what what do you mean hold on let me just plug this thing in real quick wait wait honey honey
- 3:57what's up mom
- 3:59god i look like an idiot right now say more i'm turning it up i'm i'm not the
- 4:13i'm really actually quite stupid i i uh i use i use my my power as your parent to make you
- 4:21to make you feel inferior so that I feel superior.
- 4:24And I pretend like it's just all a part of me being a wise adult.
- 4:28And, oh, please turn this machine off.
- 4:30Unplug.
- 4:31Oh my God.
- 4:32Why would you do that to me?
- 4:34It works.
- 4:35It works.
- 4:36How is it doing this?
- 4:38They explained that there's a chip in it
- 4:41that plugs into a chip holder.
- 4:47I don't even know why I asked.
- 4:48I know, it's so complicated.
- 4:49I just, I'm, I just, as I just confessed, I'm too stupid to really understand it anyway.
- 4:55Oh no.
- 4:56Are you saying that once the confidence is gone it never comes back I don know if it will or not Honey do me a favor Don use it on me ever again Just use it outside of the house I don see
- 5:11I don't know if I can handle that.
- 5:15I feel bad for the person that wrongs me.
- 5:18Because now I've got the power.
- 5:19I don't need confidence.
- 5:20I've got power.
- 5:23Cut to school cafeteria.
- 5:29Chicken's good.
- 5:31Oh, what's up, idiot?
- 5:33Only an idiot would think this chicken was good.
- 5:36I'm only going to warn you once, Maverick.
- 5:40What?
- 5:41I'm not the person I was yesterday.
- 5:42What could you possibly do to Maverick?
- 5:44Oh.
- 5:45Maverick's the king of this school.
- 5:49Maverick owns Grover Cleveland Middle.
- 5:52I'm warning you.
- 5:54What?
- 5:54You're warning me that I'm going to become more awesome?
- 5:57That's it.
- 5:58Unzip.
- 5:58what's that
- 6:01don't worry about what it is
- 6:03maverick
- 6:04little babies gotta have a battery lunch
- 6:07oh yeah how about this
- 6:09hmm
- 6:10ah
- 6:12I'm sorry
- 6:15what's that maverick
- 6:16ah
- 6:19why am I
- 6:25using my real voice
- 6:27oh my god
- 6:31what did you do to maverick
- 6:36what did you do to maverick
- 6:38everyone point and laugh
- 6:42no
- 6:45cut to
- 6:51hot topic at the mall
- 6:53little boy looking at a t-shirt with chicken what i know you come in here every weekend
- 7:02and you never buy anything you just you go over to the nightmare before christmas section
- 7:10and you breathe on all the lunch boxes and i just need you to go away okay linda get off my back
- 7:19right now. What? Look,
- 7:22I'm the assistant
- 7:23manager now. When I turned 17,
- 7:25they promoted me.
- 7:27You can't do anything about it. Okay, stop.
- 7:29And I'm telling you, you're banned from this hot
- 7:31topic.
- 7:32Oh yeah Well it about to be the nightmare before Thursday I hate the color black I only want to What was that
- 7:46Linda.
- 7:48Sorry, we're getting a little...
- 7:51I'm going to go.
- 7:52Please don't ever repeat that.
- 7:53No.
- 7:54They can't know that here.
- 7:55They can't know that.
- 7:56I'm telling the mall manager.
- 7:58No.
- 7:59Yeah.
- 7:59Going to his office right now.
- 8:00Not Jeremy P.
- 8:01No.
- 8:02Cut to the office of Jeremy P.
- 8:03yes um linda's a racist what here i'm gonna oh i didn't record it
- 8:10oh god i'm embarrassed uh well i'd have to see it to believe it you asshole
- 8:19oh i i am not actually the mall manager i just i i hit a gentleman with my car and i i accidentally
- 8:31I accidentally hit him with my car, and then I found a business card in his wallet, and I took over his life.
- 8:40He was the mall manager.
- 8:43This is too much power for him.
- 8:46Son, you're wearing a lot of power there.
- 8:49You do know that, don't you?
- 8:50Yeah, and you're a sick man.
- 8:53Cut to me at home with Mom.
- 8:55We have to get rid of this thing.
- 8:58Are you sure, honey?
- 8:59It's too much power.
- 9:00You look more confident than you've ever looked in your whole life.
- 9:05You're standing taller.
- 9:09Dare I say your eyes twinkle even more?
- 9:13Wow.
- 9:14You've convinced me.
- 9:15I, in fact, now I'm scared of how much power you have.
- 9:21What do you mean?
- 9:22Give me that thing.
- 9:23No.
- 9:24I'm going to use it on you.
- 9:25No, don't.
- 9:26And I kill dogs and cats when my mom's not looking.
- 9:33I also hurt my dad.
- 9:38Was I singing?
- 9:42Yeah.
- 9:43You confessed some stuff too, hon.
- 9:46No.
- 9:48Can I just say?
- 9:49No.
- 9:50Thanks for hurting your dad.
- 9:54Scene.
- 9:56Thank you.