Latest / Alignment With Jenn / (43) HOW TO HEAL YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM ✨MANIFEST WAY FASTER
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to this episode of the Alignment with Jen podcast.
- 0:03I am your host. Jen, it's easy.
- 0:05And today we're going to be talking all about the
- 0:06relationship between your nervous system and
- 0:09manifestation. This is such a juicy topic and I
- 0:11know it is going to help you manifest more amazing, beautiful
- 0:15things into your life. So I want to start off with a
- 0:17metaphor. And the metaphor is this idea
- 0:20that you are like a pot on the stove.
- 0:23And ideally that pot is not boiling, the burner is not on.
- 0:27That pot is just sitting there chilling, right?
- 0:30But what happens is as we go about our lives, we pick up
- 0:33fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, traumas, negative experiences.
- 0:39And what happens is that causes that pot on the stove to start
- 0:43to gently boil. And then maybe in sometimes in
- 0:46our life, we go through a divorce, we go through a
- 0:48traumatic experience, that pot can just start to really,
- 0:51really, really boil. And sometimes it can boil over.
- 0:54That is what happens with our nervous system when it is out of
- 0:58alignment, when it is in a state of constant stress, a state of
- 1:01fight or flight, and it is difficult for us to manifest the
- 1:05things that we want. When our nervous system is in
- 1:07that boiling state, right, or is in the overheated state.
- 1:11We ideally want our nervous system to be in a really calm,
- 1:15tranquil place. Think of like a beautiful body
- 1:18of water, right? Maybe not a stormy ocean, a calm
- 1:21lake. That's ideally what we want.
- 1:23And so when we are looking to manifest our next level, it's
- 1:28really valuable for us to understand the state of our
- 1:31nervous system because if we're getting to that place where our
- 1:34nervous system is kind of boiling over or things that we
- 1:38want to manifest make us feel that level of boiling over.
- 1:43And I'll get more into that. What can happen is we can
- 1:45sabotage it or it can be difficult for us to manifest it.
- 1:49So that's what we're going to talk about in this episode.
- 1:52In the next episode, I'm going to give you a bunch of tools and
- 1:55strategies to help you really regulate and calm your nervous
- 1:58system. So I know you're going to
- 2:00absolutely love this and I can't wait to get into it.
- 2:03I want to just give this idea before we fully dive in that
- 2:06your nervous system is essentially the capacity that
- 2:09you can hold. It's essentially the capacity
- 2:11that you would can hold. So when our nervous system is
- 2:14calm and regulated, we can hold more, right?
- 2:17We're more creative, we're more innovative, we're more
- 2:20thoughtful, we're more present. But when we're in that state of
- 2:23stress or we're manifesting something and it causes our
- 2:27subconscious mind to feel that state of stress, then it's more
- 2:31difficult for us. There's more resistance.
- 2:33We're less creative, we're less open to solutions.
- 2:36Truly, when our nervous system is in that fight or flight
- 2:39state, it actually shuts down our creative capacity and we
- 2:43move from being a creator to be being more focused on protection
- 2:47and survival. And that's what we're going to
- 2:49get into. And how do we live more in this
- 2:51creative nervous system state? I have this friend and he's an
- 2:55insanely powerful manifester. He said that he will not think
- 2:59anything that he does not want because it will not manifest.
- 3:02And he was like, one time he's like, you know, I won't think
- 3:05about a private jet very long. He's like, because I know it'll
- 3:08end up in my driveway. That's how powerful the
- 3:10manifesto he is. And he said one thing that he
- 3:12always does is he always focuses on the state of his nervous
- 3:15system. And he designed his entire house
- 3:18to keep him in that alpha and Theta brain wave state.
- 3:21Those are those more relaxed brain wave states.
- 3:24And so I think that's such a powerful way to think about this
- 3:27is when you are able to get into that more regulated nervous
- 3:31system, you're able to access those brain wave states where
- 3:34manifestation is easier. I've talked about this in other
- 3:37episodes, but the alpha and Theta brain wave states are
- 3:41those creative states where you're more magnetic and you're
- 3:43able to draw things to you. Some people call it the wealth
- 3:46wave versus beta. When we're in that analytical
- 3:50mind that it's where we're stressed out, it's that boiling
- 3:53pot of water always have to be right.
- 3:55There's levels of beta. High beta is like that boiling
- 3:58pot of water. But when we're in that space,
- 4:01what happens is they call it the poverty wave because it's much
- 4:04harder for us to manifest and attract things with our
- 4:07thoughts. The reason he designs his entire
- 4:09house to keep him in that elephant Theta place is so he
- 4:12can manifest more easily. So just a cool thought for you
- 4:14to think about. So I want to start off just by
- 4:17talking about why having a healed nervous system is so
- 4:21powerful for manifestation, because it essentially makes you
- 4:24a really, really powerful coherent magnet.
- 4:28You've heard me talk before, if you've listened to any other
- 4:30episodes, about the coherence of your nervous system and the
- 4:34coherence of your heart. And we are always sending out
- 4:38these electrical signals to every single thing around us.
- 4:42And when we are in high vibrational emotions like
- 4:45Lovejoy gratitude, we're sending out a coherent frequency into
- 4:49the field. So what we attract is more
- 4:51coherence, and we do that from a regulated nervous system.
- 4:55When we are in flight or flight or stress, our nervous system
- 4:59sends out a signal that looks like this.
- 5:01It's very jagged and messy. It attracts more chaos.
- 5:04It attracts more of the things that we don't really want,
- 5:07difficulties, challenges. It literally shuts down the
- 5:10creative capacity of our brain. Having that healed nervous
- 5:13system, having that ability to stay in that regulation, that
- 5:17calm place is going to allow you to draw in more of the
- 5:22experiences that you want to have.
- 5:24More of. The love, the joy, the fun, the
- 5:27creativity that you want to create, rather than stress, is
- 5:31going to attract more things to be stressed about.
- 5:35I want to talk a little bit about what the nervous system
- 5:38really is before we get deeper into this topic.
- 5:41The nervous system essentially has two different modes that you
- 5:44can think of. It has the sympathetic and the
- 5:46parasympathetic. Sympathetic is what people refer
- 5:49to as that fight or flight. It was originally designed for
- 5:54more primitive times in the human experience when we would
- 5:57have a threat like a lion or a bear or some type of predator
- 6:02that was actually chasing us. Nowadays that's very, very, very
- 6:06rare, especially in developed countries.
- 6:09That is not as useful of a system anymore.
- 6:12And what happens nowadays is that sympathetic nervous system
- 6:15gets switched on and it's difficult for it to get switched
- 6:18off. Because what would happen is,
- 6:20let's say back in the day we had a threat of a lion.
- 6:23We would outrun that lion ideally, right?
- 6:26If we're still alive. Typically what the nervous
- 6:28system would do is discharge in some way.
- 6:30So it would shake, it would release, it would do something
- 6:33to release those stress chemicals, those stress
- 6:35hormones. When a deer is chased by a
- 6:37hunter and escapes, that deer will literally flop on the
- 6:40ground and start to shake. That's to release that stress,
- 6:44to release that trauma. So that way it's no longer
- 6:46living in the psyche. But what happens nowadays is we
- 6:50have threats that are not isolated within time.
- 6:53They span a long time, right? Maybe at work you have a
- 6:57presentation that you have to do in front of your boss and you're
- 7:00nervous about it, but it's not for three weeks.
- 7:02So it creates this low level stress or financial stress that
- 7:07goes on for a long period of time, especially if it's related
- 7:11to our limiting beliefs of never having enough money, right?
- 7:14That can, even if you have enough money, that belief can
- 7:17still play out and create this nervous system response of low
- 7:21level stress that's constantly there.
- 7:24One of my teachers, my NLP teacher told us that he said
- 7:27that in all of the years, and he's been doing this since he
- 7:29was like 17 and he's in his 50s now, he said all of the years
- 7:33that he's done this work, he's never seen an illness that was
- 7:36not tied to stress. And I've heard that over and
- 7:39over from holistic practitioners, stress is such a
- 7:42powerful, powerful force that harms the body.
- 7:46And so we wanna get out of that state, not only because it's
- 7:49more healing, but it also allows us to manifest more.
- 7:53So we don't wanna be in that sympathetic state.
- 7:55We wanna be in the parasympathetic state, and I
- 7:58started calling the parasympathetic state the
- 8:01receptive mode. It's literally when you are more
- 8:04receptive to ideas, to intuition, when you feel like
- 8:08you're having a strong intuition.
- 8:11People talk about how it's in the shower or when they're
- 8:13driving and they're not thinking about anything usually because
- 8:16you get into that receptive mode, that alpha and Theta mode,
- 8:20and you're more open. OK, so parasympathetic is when
- 8:24we're more relaxed. They call it the rest and
- 8:26digest. When your body can devote energy
- 8:29to healing, it can devote energy to being the creator of your
- 8:33life to actually manifesting what you want.
- 8:36But when we have these constant sources of stress all the time,
- 8:40either that be limiting beliefs, fears and doubts about finances,
- 8:45living out of alignment, maybe it's being in the wrong
- 8:48relationship. I believe that our stress is
- 8:51largely because of the meaning that we apply to things.
- 8:54Yes, there's going to be more stressful experiences, but we
- 8:57always have a choice of how we filter and assign meaning to
- 9:00that experience. That's why two people can be in
- 9:03the same situation and one can find it very stressful and the
- 9:06other one doesn't find it stressful because they're
- 9:09assigning different meaning to that experience, right?
- 9:12I had this client who she went through this horrible divorce.
- 9:15There was all sorts of messiness in this divorce, one of the
- 9:17worst divorces I've heard about. And when she came to speak to
- 9:21me, she was like, you know what? I am so grateful for this.
- 9:24And I was like, really, tell me more.
- 9:27She's like, because now I get to start this new chapter.
- 9:30I get to be the best version of me.
- 9:31I've learned so much. I get to overcome this, right?
- 9:34She assigned a very different meaning, and thus her nervous
- 9:37system was a little stressed from this experience, but it was
- 9:39not nearly as stressed as if she had piled on all these negative
- 9:43meanings. So we're not even getting into
- 9:46the tools of this yet, but that's obviously one of them,
- 9:48right? Is the meaning that we assign
- 9:50that can move us from that parasympathetic to the
- 9:52sympathetic? A large part of that is our
- 9:55thoughts and how we're using our thoughts.
- 9:58So sympathetic fight or flight, it's activation, it's
- 10:02mobilization. It is when the blood flows in
- 10:05order to help us run or fight from a threat.
- 10:08It moves out of our brain and our central nervous system to
- 10:11our extremities. So that way we can run and
- 10:12fight, right? Obviously, we're not as creative
- 10:15or thoughtful or intuitive when we're in the parasympathetic.
- 10:18Our body can actually relax and begin to repair.
- 10:22And that's when we're going to receive those intuitions on our
- 10:25next steps on what the next thing is to do.
- 10:28This is something I find so interesting is that with my
- 10:30clients, I've seen so many of them go through my program and
- 10:33my program massively calms your nervous system because we clear
- 10:37out so many emotions and fears and doubts.
- 10:40And so many of them, their intuition just gets so much
- 10:43stronger where they just know what to act on.
- 10:46They know what to call in. They have these things just
- 10:49drawn to them because they're not in that sympathetic state
- 10:52anymore. They're in that parasympathetic
- 10:54state and that's what's possible for you.
- 10:57I know if I'm in that parasympathetic state, I'm not
- 11:00going to try to figure something out because I'm like, I
- 11:02literally am running on one cylinder instead of eight
- 11:05cylinders. I'm running on diminished
- 11:07capacity. So what I typically will do, I
- 11:10did this the other day. I was feeling stressed about
- 11:11something. And so I went to this energy
- 11:14healing place that is where I live and you can go and you sit
- 11:17and it's really super, super relaxing because I knew I, I
- 11:20couldn't solve the problem from that.
- 11:22And then I left and I had the solution.
- 11:24I moved myself in order to get that solution.
- 11:27So that's the second thing I wanted to mention.
- 11:29The third thing I want to mention is that nowadays there's
- 11:33there's really this difference between real danger and
- 11:36perceived danger. And a lot of our stress comes
- 11:38from perceiving danger where there may not actually be
- 11:41danger, right? Real danger is things like I
- 11:45might actually, you know, get bit by a stray dog on the
- 11:48street, right? Or walking to your car alone at
- 11:51night. I feel like that can be actually
- 11:52dangerous, right, for a woman. So there's these moments where
- 11:55we're going to actually have real danger.
- 11:57But a lot of what we experience in modern society is perceived
- 12:01danger. So an example of this would be
- 12:03social media. So many people come to me and
- 12:06they're like, I really want to grow on social media, but I'm so
- 12:09scared of it, right? Is there anything really bad?
- 12:12Is that actually life threatening?
- 12:13No, it's not Posting a real on Instagram is not.
- 12:16But to our subconscious mind, it feels like that.
- 12:19And that's a lot of the fears we deal with in modern society.
- 12:23Sometimes it could be getting a text message from someone you
- 12:25didn't want to get a text message from and it stimulates
- 12:27your nervous system and it can create that sympathetic nervous
- 12:31system response or an e-mail from your boss.
- 12:34My friend told me she got an e-mail the other day and it was
- 12:37just from her boss and it said can we talk today at 3:00?
- 12:39And she that said the whole rest of the day, she was convinced
- 12:41she was going to be fired, right?
- 12:43That is perceived danger because it's not actually physically
- 12:47dangerous, right? But now in modern society, those
- 12:51are the kinds of dangers we experience, and they create a
- 12:54more prolonged experience on the nervous system.
- 12:57I want to talk about the four typical different responses that
- 13:00the nervous system has because this can be really helpful for
- 13:03you to understand how your nervous system is responding
- 13:07with what you're manifesting. Because our nervous system is
- 13:10going to be the first thing that actually blocks us from
- 13:13manifesting what we want. Our nervous system and our
- 13:16subconscious mind work faster than our conscious mind.
- 13:19So that's why I can say that I want to post on social media,
- 13:23but if subconsciously I'm terrified of what my best friend
- 13:27from middle school is going to think, right, or what people
- 13:30online are going to comment, I might have a nervous system
- 13:34response that blocks me from doing that.
- 13:36I see this so often with my clients, with money, with
- 13:39relationships. So this is going to give you a
- 13:42really helpful little system. So the first one is flight.
- 13:46It's where when we experience that nervous system response
- 13:51where we think something is a threat, we will actually remove
- 13:53ourselves from it. So flight might look like trying
- 13:57to control your way out of a situation, trying to control the
- 14:01situation in order to be safe, right?
- 14:02It's like showing up. It's fighting against whatever
- 14:05you're experiencing. So this for a lot of people can
- 14:08actually look like overworking or over controlling because
- 14:11we're trying to get control over a situation, right?
- 14:14Have you ever, when you're stressed, you're just like, I
- 14:16just need to work, right? That's the fight response of
- 14:19your nervous system. There's a fear that you're
- 14:21trying to overcome, and so noticing when you have these
- 14:25things come up for you can be so, so insanely helpful.
- 14:28It can look like micromanaging, right?
- 14:30Making sure that everything has to be a certain way.
- 14:32I had this friend who would really, really micromanage her
- 14:35home. So anytime you'd go over, like,
- 14:37if you put something where she didn't want it, it should get
- 14:39really upset. And that is a fight response,
- 14:43right? There's something beneath the
- 14:44surface that needs to be dealt with.
- 14:46Another fight response that I think can be very sneaky is
- 14:49always feeling like you need to fix or improve or become better.
- 14:54This can show up as like this mindset of like always needing
- 14:57to fix, improve, or optimize like nothing is ever good
- 15:00enough. Think of fight as like you are
- 15:03trying to resist against what is.
- 15:05So if you are manifesting more money, but you feel like you
- 15:09can't relax, right? You feel like you're always
- 15:11overworking. That's your nervous system's
- 15:14response to it. So noticing in the areas where
- 15:17you feel like your manifestation is blocked, how is my nervous
- 15:21system showing up? And what can I actually do to
- 15:24create safety in that experience?
- 15:27Because that's what the nervous system's entire goal is, is to
- 15:29feel safe and to keep you safe. So we don't counteract these
- 15:33behaviors by fighting harder, by overworking more.
- 15:37We counteract them by creating safety, right?
- 15:41Like I did, I went to the energy healing place because I was
- 15:44like, I am feeling stressed. I know I'm reduced capacity, so
- 15:48I need to create safety. And the thing to know about
- 15:50fight is it's not very compatible with receiving,
- 15:53right? If we're fighting, we're
- 15:55literally actively resisting something in life.
- 15:57And so when we want to get into that receptive mode to receive,
- 16:02which is what manifestation is, it's about receiving the things
- 16:05that we want, then we have to get out of that fight mentality
- 16:09because we're pushing against life.
- 16:10We're not allowing life to naturally flow.
- 16:12Then we have flight. So flight is this idea that if I
- 16:16run fast enough, I can avoid this threat.
- 16:19Some people are going to be like, Oh yeah, that's me.
- 16:21Think of this as like avoidance, totally avoiding something,
- 16:24constantly trying to stay busy over scheduling yourself,
- 16:27restlessness, scrolling, right, going to do something to avoid
- 16:31how you're actually feeling, how your nervous system is actually
- 16:34feeling and resolve that true emotion that's underneath.
- 16:37It can be numbing. It can be never actually
- 16:40finishing something. So I just talked to a client
- 16:42recently and she wants to be a screenwriter and she said that
- 16:47for the past five years, she's always avoided ever making
- 16:51progress past a certain point. That's flight, That's her
- 16:54nervous systems, like tapping a certain capacity.
- 16:57And it's like, OK, this is our boiling point.
- 16:58This is where it gets really uncomfortable.
- 17:00We've reached the point that it feels comfortable and it's going
- 17:04to start to flight, it's going to bounce.
- 17:06This can look like jumping from idea to idea.
- 17:09I see this so much in people who especially in business, right?
- 17:12As business starts to get hard. I see this in myself actually,
- 17:15as I'm saying this, as business starts to get hard, they jump
- 17:18from thing to thing to thing to thing rather than actually
- 17:21sticking with something when it gets difficult.
- 17:23People do this in relationship, right?
- 17:26They do this in relationship when they're constantly looking
- 17:28for new, more exciting relationships rather than
- 17:31actually going up for the deeper work and that deeper level of
- 17:34intimacy. And the thing with flight as
- 17:37well is it also makes receiving difficult because you are
- 17:40literally avoiding the thing that needs to be healed in order
- 17:44to move to that next level. It's like, let's say what you
- 17:47want to manifest is in the middle and you're just dancing
- 17:49around it, right? You're never actually anchoring
- 17:51in and allowing yourself to move to that next place.
- 17:56And then we have freeze. So freeze is literally the
- 17:58shutdown, right? You can think of this as you
- 18:02wanna start your business, but you're literally just can't get
- 18:04yourself to do it. You're sitting on the couch
- 18:06scrolling through your phone or you wanna start dating and you
- 18:10just open the dating app and literally don't do anything,
- 18:13right? You just cannot get yourself to
- 18:15take any of the actions that would move you toward what you
- 18:18want because your system doesn't feel it's safe.
- 18:21These are all ways that your system protects you from a
- 18:24perceived threat. Typically nowadays that threat
- 18:28is perceived right. It is an unconscious fear that
- 18:31we have picked up somewhere along the way.
- 18:33Freeze can look like overthinking right?
- 18:36Just constantly staying in this thought process.
- 18:37One of my friends told me recently she heard about someone
- 18:40who was using AI and he was basically just using it all day,
- 18:43talking to ChatGPT all day and going in these loops and staying
- 18:46in these loops, right? Never taking the actions, but
- 18:49kind of staying in these loops, right?
- 18:51That's the freeze response when we're not making any momentum
- 18:54forward and we're just kind of like laying in bed on your
- 18:59phone. So I have this client, this was
- 19:01a couple of years ago, and she's a really well known author and
- 19:04she released a new book. And she said that the day that
- 19:06she released that book, she was so terrified of the response
- 19:10from the Press, of the response of social media, the response
- 19:13from people that she couldn't get out of bed.
- 19:16That's the quintessential freeze response, right?
- 19:19So it's not just when we're manifesting something, right?
- 19:22Our nervous system capacity matters the whole way because we
- 19:25can manifest something. But if those patterns still
- 19:28exist, there's still going to be lessons that we need to overcome
- 19:31in that process. I said this and I think one of
- 19:35the most recent episodes about we don't just want love for one
- 19:38moment. We don't want just love wealth
- 19:40for one moment. We don't want health for one
- 19:42moment. We want it for our lifetime.
- 19:44So we have to have a nervous system that can hold it without
- 19:48going into these responses. Then we have the fond response.
- 19:52This is one of my personal favorite flavors that I've had
- 19:54to really work to overcome. So it's if I please you, I will
- 19:59stay safe. And this is the classic people
- 20:01pleaser, right? Not speaking up for yourself,
- 20:04over giving, always saying yes even when you want to say no
- 20:08because you're just like, OK, if I can just be quiet, stay in the
- 20:12corner, no one's going to notice me and I won't disrupt it and I
- 20:15will be safe. I'll be protected.
- 20:16It's under charging, right? It's not really sharing content
- 20:19that actually activates anyone because you don't really want to
- 20:21rock the boat. You don't want to experience any
- 20:24of that. Discomfort, it's having weak
- 20:27boundaries, it's dimming your own desires.
- 20:31So the fond response is like just this contractive.
- 20:35All of these are really kind of these contractive energies that
- 20:38don't allow you to fully expand into who you want to be.
- 20:42And the issue with the fond response is it's a lot of self
- 20:45abandonment. So I hear this from so many of
- 20:47my clients in relationships, they will self abandoned.
- 20:51I feel like this is actually really common in women where we
- 20:54will want to please that partner.
- 20:56And so we will, you know, it starts off really subtly, right?
- 20:59Maybe you don't speak up for something that you need because
- 21:01you're like, I don't want to rock the boat, right?
- 21:04But then you don't want to rock the boat 1000 times and you end
- 21:06up resenting that person because the whole time you've tried to
- 21:10protect yourself, protect yourself, and you've created a
- 21:13relationship that wasn't right for you.
- 21:15The thing to know about these 4 responses, so fight, flight,
- 21:19freeze and fawn, is that they are protective mechanisms and
- 21:23they're very intelligently designed.
- 21:26The issue is that in modern society, they cause a conflict
- 21:30between where we are and where we want to be.
- 21:32So it's really valuable for you to think about in the areas of
- 21:35your life where you want to make the most progress, where you
- 21:39feel like you are kind of the most stuck.
- 21:41What patterns are showing up for you?
- 21:43I recommend journaling about this today if you can and just
- 21:47noticing how am I really showing up in those areas?
- 21:49What am I avoiding? What am I running from what?
- 21:51Where am I overworking, right? Where am I over people pleasing?
- 21:55Because those are all patterns that I guarantee they're not
- 21:57just showing up in that area. They show up in so many areas
- 22:01and, and the more that you heal those patterns, the more that
- 22:04you are going to be able to live the life that just truly meant
- 22:08for you and the more that your nervous system is going to feel
- 22:10amazing doing it. The last thing I want to say to
- 22:13this is that I'm sure you can kind of see now that this
- 22:17dysregulation in the nervous system and all dysregulation is,
- 22:20is the nervous system feeling unsafe.
- 22:22It blocks our ability to receive in all of these very clever and
- 22:26unconscious ways. And so for you, when you want to
- 22:30manifest that new level and you find yourself procrastinating or
- 22:34you find yourself over people pleasing or not having that
- 22:37conversation with your partner that you need to have, those are
- 22:40all the nervous system trying to protect you.
- 22:43What we have to do is we have to work at that subconscious level,
- 22:47that root level and show it that it's safe to have these things,
- 22:50that you are safe and whole and complete no matter what happens
- 22:54in that experience of your life. So as always, if you would like
- 22:58support with this, this is the bread and butter of what I work
- 23:01on with my clients in my more intimate programs.
- 23:05You can send me the word podcast on Instagram and I'll send you a
- 23:085 minute video about that program.
- 23:11And also, if you're not following the podcast, please
- 23:14follow. It really helps this get out to
- 23:16more people and I hope you've loved this.
- 23:18Please leave me any questions in the comments.
- 23:21All right, bye.