Latest / Beyond Fulfillment Podcast / The CEO Who Lost Everything and Found Something Better with Yosi Amram
Transcript
- 0:00Foreign.
- 0:05Yosi Amram, welcome to Beyond Fulfillment.
- 0:09Thank you, Dave.
- 0:10Thank you, Dave.
- 0:10I'm excited and look forward for some fulfillment in here with you.
- 0:16Yes, sir, we're looking forward to it as well.
- 0:19So Yosi, we're just talking off camera about your crazy journey as an entrepreneur up until where you got to now.
- 0:29So just to set the stage for our listeners, can you talk about your backstory and how you became an entrepreneur?
- 0:35Sure, sure.
- 0:36I'm glad you said as we talked about that it was a crazy story as opposed to me being crazy, although that's debatable.
- 0:44So, yeah, I started.
- 0:45I grew up in Israel, war torn part of the world.
- 0:49And like all young men, I was drafted into the military, then a three year mandatory service.
- 0:56Fortunately it was peaceful time, unlike the craziness going there now.
- 1:01But despite my pacifistic leanings and etc.
- 1:07I found myself having the fastest promotion record in the history of my regimen, even though I was kind of a science and math nerd.
- 1:17But while I excelled at the military, the command and control really chafed at my soul.
- 1:22So I resolved to someday to build an organization based on more humanistic values that support the unique growth of each individual in a community, in a team spirit environment.
- 1:33And that led me to come to the us, Study engineering, business and ultimately become a tech entrepreneur.
- 1:40And you know, I had the good fortune of building this company and taking it public.
- 1:49And then one day as I was trying to relax and get a full body massage while lying on the table, something happened.
- 2:00And no, it's not what you're thinking, But I was knocked into a spiritual awakening experience that many meditators spend years on.
- 2:15And all of a sudden I realized our interconnectedness and how everything is part of the oneness that we are.
- 2:23But that really blew a fuse in my mind and threw me into what, a very ungrounded state, you might call it a manic state.
- 2:34And I wanted to drive my company faster than ever.
- 2:38And my board was like, hey, why don't you take a three week vacation and chill out?
- 2:43And I was like, no way.
- 2:45And they said, okay, well we're putting you on a three month voluntary leave of absence.
- 2:50Nothing voluntary about it.
- 2:52Any.
- 2:53Long story short, I was pushed out of the company that I started.
- 2:56It was a big loss and a trauma because the company was my baby.
- 3:02But long story short, that led me to ask deep questions about was this experience real?
- 3:08Was it delusional?
- 3:10Why was I so attached to the company?
- 3:13And that ultimately led me to go back to school and get a PhD in psychology where I heard of the concept spiritual intelligence, and I was very aware of emotional intelligence.
- 3:25So I was like, is there a parallel here?
- 3:27So I did my doctoral research defining what spiritual intelligence is and how to measure it, and showed that leaders that have greater spiritual intelligence lead teams with greater morale, higher commitment, lower turnover in a way that complements emotional
- 3:47intelligence.
- 3:48And since then, it's been shown that such leaders also produce better financial results.
- 3:53And there are many other benefits to spiritual intelligence in terms of mental health, satisfaction with life, resilience, individual productivity, organizational productivity.
- 4:06And these days I'm researching and doing work with couples and how these same qualities of spiritual intelligence that support us as being great leaders, like integrity and humility and compassion and gratitude and presence, also make us better partners
- 4:23at home.
- 4:25So that's a long story.
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- 5:10I've already proven I'm crazy, so.
- 5:14Okay, well, no, I appreciate the context there and there's a lot to unpack, so let's just go back.
- 5:20Let's go back.
- 5:22So you start this company.
- 5:24You know, you come to the US after growing up in Israel and doing your military service.
- 5:30Interestingly, you're, you're consider yourself pacifistic, but yet fastest promotion record in your regiment.
- 5:37You come, you build this company and take it public.
- 5:40And then the one day where you're, you're trying to relax, get a massage, you have this awakening, but then you call it like a manic state to where like just, just talk more about that.
- 5:50You just, it sounds like you had this compulsion to just change a lot of things and drive the company forward faster and really upset the status quo.
- 6:00And the board was not having it.
- 6:03Yeah, well, basically, you know, my mind got open and I was getting these downloads of the future of the Internet and where it was going.
- 6:15And I had all these insights and this open state about where the industry was going, all of which in hindsight kind of became true.
- 6:24But I became obsessed to wanting my company to be the company to to realize those visions.
- 6:31So this was actually before Google and before Facebook and before a lot of the things that are happening now.
- 6:38And AI and personal agents, we were using personal agents in that company to help people call the news and get a personal newspaper every day.
- 6:48Dave, you would get it originally on fax machine.
- 6:51Anyway, we were in many ways ahead of our time, and I saw the future and I was driving hard, but I was.
- 6:59Became ungrounded with this opening and this vision and being obsessed.
- 7:03And I pushed my team and the board faster than we could do all these projects, and they were like, oh, you got to slow down.
- 7:11But I was so enamored with this vision and wanting to get there first.
- 7:18That made me not very spiritually intelligent, might I say, because this is the difference between.
- 7:26You can have an insight and understand our interconnectedness, but then you have to integrate and embody it.
- 7:33And my vehicle, my.
- 7:34My consciousness, my body, my psyche couldn't contain that much energy.
- 7:40So I became very ungrounded.
- 7:43And.
- 7:45Okay, wow.
- 7:47So when that happens, right, you have this experience, and like you said, you're.
- 7:53You're receiving all these insights and these downloads in this energy and too much to contain.
- 7:58You became ungrounded.
- 7:59Unhinged, I guess we could say, right?
- 8:01Unhinged.
- 8:02Okay.
- 8:03Yeah.
- 8:03And when that.
- 8:05When you get that, when you're put on that voluntary leave and you realize, like, oh, I've literally just been pushed out of the comp.
- 8:11My baby, the company I started.
- 8:14Right.
- 8:14What was.
- 8:14What was that like?
- 8:18Well, what was that like?
- 8:20It was sad.
- 8:21And it also made me angry.
- 8:23I mean, I was like, you guys can't do that.
- 8:25My vision is right.
- 8:26It's my baby, you know, I brought you in, you know, and now this.
- 8:31So it was sad.
- 8:34It was also humiliating.
- 8:35And there's a lot of shame because there are headline stories in the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times that I was pushed out of the company, that I was unstable.
- 8:45There were rumors, and then people started.
- 8:47Stopped returning my calls and emails.
- 8:50So I was kind of canceled.
- 8:52I went from the top of echelon of hot Silicon Valley Company CEOs, invited into all the exclusive gatherings of CEOs, etc.
- 9:02All of a sudden, you know, people weren't talking to me, so it was embarrassing.
- 9:06It's shameful.
- 9:07I was sad, I was angry, I was fighting.
- 9:11I was trying to fight the board and call a special meeting of the shareholders because, you know, when it was announced I was on a leave of absence, the stock dropped, you know, cut in half almost 37% on
- 9:27the one day.
- 9:28So obviously the Wall street thought that I was the driver and it was my baby and my vision.
- 9:33I was the chairman and CEO, founder.
- 9:36So I was trying to fight the board, but, you know, it's very painful.
- 9:42Okay, and then how, how long did it take you to.
- 9:45To really recover from that before you could go on to what, what you did next?
- 9:51Boy, I think I was in a emotional turmoil and unsettled probably for at least six, nine months.
- 9:59And then it took me another six months to just start to raise my head and network again.
- 10:06And I did an EIR entrepreneur in residence with another venture firm, and I started to evaluate other ideas.
- 10:15And that led me to do my second company with another technical founder, which was in a different space, was Internet security and digital signatures and encryption and that kind of thing.
- 10:28So, you know, it ended up being over a year to a year and a half before I landed and started this other thing where I was CEO and co founder, founder of the second company.
- 10:39But it was kind of like six to nine months of just, you know, unstable, wobbly, then just kind of, okay, accepting the reality.
- 10:51And, you know, so you move, you know, through these stages of anger and bargaining and whatever till you move to acceptance.
- 11:02And anytime you lose somebody in the grief process, okay, then I had to start moving on.
- 11:10So now looking back on it now after all these years, what would you say is the most important thing you learned from that experience?
- 11:19Boy.
- 11:21Well, I think it's important to.
- 11:23To center and ground ourselves.
- 11:26And it's important to have people that you trust, that you.
- 11:31That know you well, that you can turn to in, in these kind.
- 11:36When.
- 11:36When these crises happen so that you can, they can calibrate you.
- 11:40They.
- 11:41They know you, they can.
- 11:44That you trust, they trust you.
- 11:45I think those would be the two things.
- 11:49Okay.
- 11:50All right.
- 11:50And then ultimately, this journey led you to, like you said, going back to get, I guess, a doctorate.
- 11:59And you came across, or you.
- 12:03You became aware of this concept of spiritual intelligence and really went deep in the study of that.
- 12:08So can you just talk?
- 12:09What, what exactly is spiritual intelligence?
- 12:13Okay, that's a great question.
- 12:15So by analogy, many people know of emotional intelligence.
- 12:19Emotional intelligence is the ability to draw on emotional resources and information and use that to help our daily life manage our emotions and others.
- 12:31So by analogy, spiritual intelligence is the ability to draw on and embody spiritual resources and qualities in daily life.
- 12:40So what are those?
- 12:41These are things like purpose, service, trust, gratitude, compassion, presence, integrity, humility, and so on.
- 12:51These are the qualities that throughout all the world's traditions for thousands of years have been celebrated as virtue.
- 13:00So in my doctoral research, I interviewed 71 teachers across all the world's traditions, from Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Judaism, shamanism, Taoism and so on.
- 13:13And they all spoke of these same qualities.
- 13:16So from that I developed this framework where There are these five domains and 22 qualities, and these I just mentioned some of them.
- 13:25And from there I developed the first academically validated measure, which has since been translated into over a half dozen languages.
- 13:34And this research now has over a thousand references.
- 13:37And many people have shown that spiritual intelligence has many positive outcomes in a variety of situations, like better satisfaction, quality of life, resilience, mental health, individual productivity, group productivity.
- 13:55Banks that have higher spiritual intelligence among their employees produce better return on assets.
- 14:02Leaders that have better spiritual intelligence produce better financial results for their business unit.
- 14:07So over the years since I finished my doctoral research over 15, almost 20 years ago, the field has grown a lot.
- 14:17And there's a lot that has been done by other researchers across the world, in different countries and different languages, in English in the US everywhere.
- 14:27So it's quite exciting to see that.
- 14:30But it may take a while for it to get into the mainstream.
- 14:34Just like emotional intelligence took time to get in the mainstream because we used to think that emotion, intelligence and reason are in opposition.
- 14:44Likewise, now we have a dichotomy.
- 14:46The spiritual is kind of woo, woo, and then we have the practical.
- 14:51So when people hear the word spiritual, some people have kind of an allergic reaction.
- 14:55They associate it with religion, which it's really not.
- 14:59And you don't even have to be spiritual to be spiritually intelligent.
- 15:03It's kind of like the difference between being emotional and being emotionally intelligent.
- 15:08If I say, Dave, do you know people in your life that are emotional?
- 15:11That might not be the most compliment.
- 15:14You know, they might be tearing up at every puppy commercial and they're very prone to drama.
- 15:21But if someone is emotionally intelligent, that's a whole different thing.
- 15:26Now someone could be spiritual, like they have a belief system.
- 15:30They believe in higher power or God or reincarnation of the soul, whatever their belief system.
- 15:35Or they can have a spiritual experience.
- 15:38You know, you meditate and you enter samadhi or whatever, oneness.
- 15:43But you know, spiritual intelligence is not belief, it's not experience is how you embody these qualities in daily life.
- 15:50And these qualities have been talked about for thousands of years by many traditions and, and now in modern research, the field of positive psychology that developed over the last 30 years with people like Marty Seligman, he has 24
- 16:07qualities called character, strength, inventory and values in action.
- 16:14And over half of these qualities are one to one map with spiritual intelligence, like gratitude and humility and transcendence and purpose and so on.
- 16:26Service.
- 16:28So there's a convergence between this research I and other people have done in spiritual intelligence and positive psychology.
- 16:37And there's a third field of leadership development that looks at what qualities make for great leaders.
- 16:43And the same things.
- 16:44Now, servant leadership, centered leaders.
- 16:52And Bain and Company, one of the top management consulting companies in the world, studied 2,000 companies.
- 16:58They found that inspired employees are twice as productive than people that just go about doing their jobs.
- 17:05And then they looked at what are the qualities that get leaders to be inspiring.
- 17:09They identified 33 qualities.
- 17:11And again, over half of those map directly with the spiritual intelligence.
- 17:16Spiritual intelligent leadership.
- 17:18So I'm saying there's a converging evidence from different fields of study, from different researchers that say, yeah, these are the qualities we all want to embody and the people we like to be around, people that live a life
- 17:32of purpose and service, and they're humble and they have integrity and they're compassionate and they're present and they're mindful and they're intentional.
- 17:44These are the qualities of a good life.
- 17:46And it helps us individually and it helps us collectively and societally.
- 17:52Okay, well, yeah, clearly you're very passionate about this field.
- 17:56You just, you're just oozing excitement over this.
- 17:58So when you, because again, if this, it sounds like a lot of this study you've even pioneered from some of the early days, and to see it, like you say, be recognized by Bain Co.
- 18:11And, and all these other top, you know, top institutions.
- 18:16Like what, what's that like?
- 18:18Well, it's exciting.
- 18:19It's, it's gratifying, it's fulfilling.
- 18:22If I were to use, you know, the word in, in your podcast.
- 18:28And.
- 18:29But yeah, it's deeply nourishing.
- 18:31And then, and there's an inner alignment, like, okay, then my life has deep meaning.
- 18:36I'm doing the work that I'm meant to do and it's having an impact.
- 18:41And then my life makes sense.
- 18:43You know, the work I'm doing now really threads through all of my life.
- 18:48And, you know, I couldn't make sense of it looking forward, but looking back, my beginning of interest in the, in the leadership from the military and then studying engineering at MIT and then my MBA at Harvard and all
- 19:03those things, if I'm just dropping things that, you know, you could look at them as big things on themselves, but really they're all building blocks that enabled me to be here to do this work, to bring in the
- 19:16scientific mindset that I have and also the psychological mindset and the spiritual and the leadership.
- 19:24And then all of that kind of comes together for me and bringing it together so to contribute to others, to my clients, to the world at large, so I can see, see impact.
- 19:38So it's just very fulfilling to feel that I'm actualizing my potential and I'm drawing on all my skills and all my talents and all of my life's experiences that are making me be able to contribute the way I
- 19:54am in my unique way.
- 19:56And each of us have our unique skills, gifts, talents, and superpowers that life has given us.
- 20:04And that's kind of like our gift that life gives us.
- 20:08And when you have a friend and you give him a birthday gift and it's all wrapped up, you want to know that they didn't just put it in the closet.
- 20:15They open it and unpack it and use it.
- 20:19So life basically asks each of us who gives us our gift and wants us to unpack that gift and use those skills and talents to contribute to life, to other people around us.
- 20:32And that makes us feel fulfilled, fulfilled and actualized.
- 20:35And that's.
- 20:37That's the way I'm doing it.
- 20:39That's coming through me.
- 20:41And everybody's got their unique sense of purpose and calling.
- 20:47Okay.
- 20:48When, when you live that, it's very fulfilling and very exciting, very energizing.
- 20:54And then, then life is very passionate and, and engaging.
- 21:00So as you said, I'm oozing.
- 21:03Yeah.
- 21:04No, and I, I.
- 21:05Yeah, you're absolutely oozing excitement and passion for this work you're doing.
- 21:09And I love that analogy, too.
- 21:11I've never heard it put that way, but it makes so much sense, too, in terms of when you give someone a gift, you want to see them open it up and actually use it.
- 21:19That brings you joy.
- 21:20And when life gives you gifts, Right.
- 21:23Just even if your rational mind gets in the way.
- 21:26Right.
- 21:26Ultimately, what's.
- 21:28You want to use the gifts that you've been given to the best of your ability.
- 21:31And again, that's going to, you know, life's going to be happy and smile upon you when you do.
- 21:36So.
- 21:37Am I saying that right?
- 21:38Yeah, yeah, you're saying, great.
- 21:40It's very fulfilling, very exciting.
- 21:42And then, you know, you love your life, you love what you're doing, and you're radiating joy instead of oozing, you know, live in love and radiate joy and, and feel Actualized and contribute to people around you.
- 22:01And that's the most fulfilling thing.
- 22:05All right, so now a couple other things.
- 22:07So you've coached over 100 CEOs.
- 22:10How did you get into doing that work?
- 22:13Well, I basically was in their role, you know, and you asked me what, what are the thing that I, in hindsight I learned and I was kind of alluding to that if I had a good coach at that
- 22:27time that I trusted and then knew me, maybe they would have helped ground me.
- 22:32So anyway, but the point is, I've lived through the ups and downs of being a Silicon Valley entrepreneur CEO, raising tens of millions of dollars and working with the top venture capitalists, taking companies public, selling them, buying them.
- 22:47So I, you know, it's a very lonely job to be the CEO of a company going through a lot of change with a lot of pressure, raising money from vent venture capitalists, building an organization, competitive markets, changing technology.
- 23:02So I, I know the territory of what these people are going through, so that makes me be able to relate and give them good advice.
- 23:12And so I'm bringing in that domain expertise of knowing the territory of the life they're dealing with.
- 23:18And then I'm bringing in the spiritually intelligent leadership lens and spiritual intelligence and the psychological lens and, and all of that.
- 23:27So I think through my network of venture capitalists, friends, other entrepreneurs, people come to me and say, hey, you know, can, can you help me in building my, my company?
- 23:38First time entrepreneurs or even successful entrepreneurs, they've done it once, twice, made, made a lot of money.
- 23:45They still, we all need someone that we could trust that we can confide in.
- 23:51As a CEO, you're always, it's a very lonely job.
- 23:55You know, you have a board that's supposed to help you, but they're also your investors.
- 23:59They also can hire and fire you, they have a fiduciary duty, they determine your compensation package, etc.
- 24:07So you can't be completely transparent and vulnerable with them.
- 24:12And then same with your team, they're selling you and they're looking up to you.
- 24:19Now it's important to have some vulnerability with each of them, but you're not going to be completely open.
- 24:24So you know, I think people feel like they can open up with me and I can coach them and help them.
- 24:32And so, you know, through my network, my referral and other people refer their friend entrepreneurs, CEOs to me.
- 24:42And that's how it works.
- 24:44Okay, all right.
- 24:45And some listeners might be surprised to hear that, particularly in terms of, you know, maybe if they're not, you know, not in that role or not familiar with that type of lifestyle.
- 24:57But talk about why.
- 24:58I mean, like you said, the board, right, they're there, they're supposed to support you, but ultimately they have, they can hire and fire you, and they have their own agenda.
- 25:06Your team, right, is counting on you.
- 25:08But you, you have to be strong.
- 25:09You can't be vulnerable in front of your team.
- 25:12I mean, why, why else is that position so lonely?
- 25:16Why?
- 25:17Because there's a lot on your shoulder.
- 25:19You're the guy making the hard decisions.
- 25:22And yeah, there's nobody, I mean, everybody else on the team has peers.
- 25:29So if you're the VP engineering, you have the VP of operation as your peer, VP sales and the VP marketing, etc.
- 25:37They're kind of as a team.
- 25:39There are different board members on the board.
- 25:41They could talk to each other, call, hey, I'm wondering about this, that and the other.
- 25:45But you don't have any peers.
- 25:47Now, I do want to say that the same issues, you know, I'm talking about it with CEOs, and it's maybe very kind of mystical, mystified some elite group of people of Silicon Valley CEOs, but the same issues happen
- 26:02at every level of leadership when you, when you are a leader of a business unit or a department or whatever.
- 26:12So the same principles of having a sense of purpose or shared values on the team and being a good listener as a leader, and people feeling your care and your compassion and not being about your ego.
- 26:32You share credit, you celebrate others and all these qualities of leadership and integrity that you trust.
- 26:39People walking the talk, they set a good example.
- 26:43That's true at all levels, not just for the CEO.
- 26:47So, you know, that's why my book is been a bestseller.
- 26:51And other people, it's not aimed just the CEOs, lots of leaders and aspiring leaders find a lot of benefit in reading the book and doing the exercises and applying it at whatever level.
- 27:05And in fact, all of us at some level are leaders in our communities, in our neighborhood, in our families.
- 27:12So I think the principles are very broad.
- 27:15Okay, great segue into your book.
- 27:19What's the book called?
- 27:21The book is called Spiritually Intelligent Leadership.
- 27:27How to Inspire by Being Inspired.
- 27:30Okay.
- 27:32Yeah.
- 27:32And what made you write the book?
- 27:37Well, I'm passionate about these ideas and topic and I wanted to share them broadly.
- 27:43It seems like we live in a critical time in the world.
- 27:48You know, our human iq, our cognitive intelligence landed us on the moon.
- 27:53Split the atom, deciphered the genome, now we have AI.
- 27:57We've developed emotional intelligence.
- 28:00So we learn how to monitor and understand our emotions.
- 28:03But still the world feels ever more chaotic.
- 28:06I mean, you know, the mental health difficulties, anxiety, depression, addiction, suicide rates are soaring.
- 28:16You know, at the global level, there's political polarization, wars, environmental disaster.
- 28:23So the question is, how do we as a species, as humanity, what's the missing link here to move us forward?
- 28:32And we have to understand our interconnectedness and we have to understand some of these principles of spiritual intelligent leadership.
- 28:39I think for us as a collective to move forward and that's at many levels, at the corporate level and nonprofits and as well as broader societal level.
- 28:53So I feel that this is an important missing piece in what's happening in the world as we move forward.
- 29:02And it's gotten ever more clear.
- 29:05It wasn't so clear when I started writing the book.
- 29:08It took me two, three years to write it and it got published two and a half years ago.
- 29:14So five years ago wasn't as crazy as it is now.
- 29:18But it's only good feel like boy, we, we need, we need to some somehow shift our thinking and move beyond us and them mindset and all the problems that we're dealing with.
- 29:33Okay, well said.
- 29:35All right.
- 29:35And Yossi, last question.
- 29:37So when you look back at your whole journey, how you know, you, you came here, became an entrepreneur, had radical success, then had your, your unhinged moment, got pushed out of your own company, rebuilt yourself and then you
- 29:51came, came to know this field of spiritual intelligence, wrote this book and you've been able to help so many people.
- 29:57Looking back on all of it, what's been the best part of it for you?
- 30:02Well, the growth, the growth that I've experienced, the ability to reinvent myself, you know, from being an engineering to be a business person, to being a leader, to being an entrepreneur, to being a psychologist, to being a coach,
- 30:17to being a.
- 30:18I've had many hats and I just continually have grown and reinvented myself.
- 30:27And so that's one big piece.
- 30:29And then the other big piece would be the human relations and the bonds I've created with colleagues, friends, you know, clients.
- 30:38I mean some of my clients have built billion dollar businesses and I've worked with them, you know, weekly or every other week over eight, 10 years as they've built those companies.
- 30:50Sometimes one, sometimes two or three companies.
- 30:53So the depth of that relationship and then seeing them grow and evolve and being part of that is deeply fulfilling.
- 31:02So I think it's the growth, the personal growth I've experienced, the depth of the human connections that I have created.
- 31:12And yeah, being witness and supporting that growth in others, very meaningful and satisfying.
- 31:20Okay, love that.
- 31:21And, Yossi, if people want to reach out and learn more about the work you do, potentially work with you or get in touch for any other reason, what's the best way people can find you online?
- 31:32Well, my website is yossiamram.net if you can remember how to spell my name.
- 31:41Otherwise, I have a nonprofit.
- 31:44Might be easier to remember.
- 31:46It's awakening.
- 31:47Si.
- 31:48Si stands for spiritual intelligence.
- 31:50So one word.
- 31:51Awakeningsi.org and I host free monthly events that focus on one of the qualities of spiritual intelligence that people can join and practice and learn and grow.
- 32:04So I think one of those two ways, and my book is certainly another way.
- 32:13And the book has my.
- 32:14My web address and all of that, so.
- 32:18All right, we will link all that in the show.
- 32:19Notes for everyone.
- 32:21Yossi, thank you so much for taking the time to be here and sharing all this incredible wisdom from your journey with our listeners.
- 32:27We greatly appreciate it.
- 32:29Thank you.
- 32:30Dave.
- 32:30It's been.
- 32:30It's been fun and exciting and to share all this with you, and I appreciate your interest and the opportunity.
- 32:40All right, thank you.