The Relativistic Adventures of Rita Excreta

That's Absurd Please Elaborate · May 21, 2026 · 1h 7m

If we had a nickel for every time Julian answered a question involving pigeons, we’d have two nickels. Not that many, but weird that it’s happened twice. This week, he investigates pigeon logistics, excreta coverage, and everything about the Great Wall of China, all fueled by the power of basic research and—horrifyingly—firsthand investigation. Meanwhile, Trace attempts to outsmart the cruel economics of holiday birthdays using special and general relativity, which was definitely the simplest and most reasonable way possible to solve this problem.

QUESTIONS

Julian: “How many days would it…