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Husbands, Love Your Wives · Ian Green Audio Sermons

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Ministry of Ian Green, a place where faith is strengthened, hope is renewed, and the Word of God comes alive.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're searching for answers, walking through a difficult season, or simply hungry to know God more deeply, you're in the right place.
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  SPEAKER_00: So take a moment, quiet your heart, and open your spirit.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into the Word of God together.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is Ian Green, and this is today's message.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Husbands love your wives.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: There is a weight upon the words of Paul in Ephesians 5 that I don't think we as husbands should ever read casually.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's Ephesians 5 25.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Notice the standard.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: God doesn't say, husbands, love your wives when they make it easy.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't say love them when they agree with you.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't even tell us to measure our love by the standards of other husbands.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: God gives us Jesus Christ Himself as the standard.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Love your wife as Christ loved the church.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And when I began thinking about that, the Lord impressed something deeply upon my heart.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: How does Christ love his church?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because whatever Christ does in loving his bride gives the husband a picture of the kind of love he should bring into his marriage.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the words that came strongly to me was nurture.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: See, Jesus nurtures his bride, Jesus protects his bride, and Jesus feeds his bride.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: He speaks the truth to his bride.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: He intercedes for his bride, corrects his bride, and restores his bride.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus does not abandon his bride when she's struggling, and Jesus is committed to what his bride is becoming.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So listen to what Paul continues to say.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to what Paul continues to say.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's Ephesians 5 26-27.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: That is extraordinary.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Christ is not merely interested in possessing a bride, he's committed to caring for his bride.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Through his blood, his word, and the sanctifying work of his spirit, Jesus is preparing his church.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And husbands, there is something here for us.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: We cannot save our wives, we cannot wash away their sins, and we cannot be their Holy Spirit.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Only Jesus can sanctify his church.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: But God has entrusted a woman to us, whom He expects us to love in such a way that our presence in her life helps rather than hinders what God is doing in her.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of woman is your wife becoming in the atmosphere you create around her?
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  SPEAKER_00: That is a serious question.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Does she find prayer in her house?
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  SPEAKER_00: Does she find encouragement?
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  SPEAKER_00: Does she find gentleness?
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  SPEAKER_00: Does she find truth?
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  SPEAKER_00: Does she find forgiveness?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Safety, spiritual leadership?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Does she find a man who notices when something is wrong?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or does she have to fight every spiritual battle by herself?
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  SPEAKER_00: God forbid.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because headship is not simply a position, headship is responsibility.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to this.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: If we go back to the garden, after Adam and Eve sinned, something interesting happens.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Genesis 3 9 says, And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him, Where art thou?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Eve had eaten first, but God called Adam, Where are you?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: There is something sobering in that for every husband.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: When God gives responsibility, God looks for accountability.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Being the head of a home isn't about being the loudest voice in the house.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't domination, it isn't controlling your wife, it isn't saying, I'm the man, therefore you do what I say.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus destroyed that interpretation of leadership when he washed his disciples' feet.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Biblical headship looks like Christ, and Christ's leadership says, I will lay down my life for you.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, husbands, the question isn't merely, does my wife submit to me?
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps the more searching question is, Am I loving her like Christ?
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  SPEAKER_00: Am I sacrificing?
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  SPEAKER_00: Am I listening?
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  SPEAKER_00: Am I praying?
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  SPEAKER_00: Am I serving?
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  SPEAKER_00: Am I protecting?
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  SPEAKER_00: And am I nurturing?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Am I creating an environment where she can flourish in God?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: See, we need to nourish and cherish her.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Paul continues, so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
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  SPEAKER_00: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's Ephesians 5, 28, 29.
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  SPEAKER_00: To nourish something means you give it what it needs to become healthy, and to cherish something means you recognize its value and treat it accordingly.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Husband, your wife should not have to wonder whether she is precious to you.
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  SPEAKER_00: She should experience it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Not only through words, but through your conduct, through your patience, your attention, your faithfulness, through the way you speak about her when she isn't in the room, through the way you cover her weaknesses rather than exposing them to everybody.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Through the way you pray for her, through the way you notice when she is tired, through the way you listen when something is troubling her.
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  SPEAKER_00: Jesus nourishes and cherishes his church.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: So husbands, nourish and cherish your wives.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: The Bible says, Dwell with her according to knowledge.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Peter says, likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's 1 Peter 3:7.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Notice something.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: God doesn't use vulnerability as permission for exploitation.
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  SPEAKER_00: He makes vulnerability a reason for greater honor and care.
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  SPEAKER_00: And Peter calls husband and wife heirs together.
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  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, your wife's vulnerability is not something for you to ridicule, it's something you handle with honor.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Learn your wife, know your wife, know what burdens her, what frightens her, what strengthens her, what discourages her, what environments affect her.
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  SPEAKER_00: Where is she particularly vulnerable to discouragement, fear, offense, or deception?
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  SPEAKER_00: And husbands, she should be learning those things about you as well.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: See, marriage should become a place where two people become increasingly known and increasingly loved.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: See, your wife is not your enemy.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: There was something God impressed upon me personally that changed the way I looked at certain conflicts.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your wife is not your enemy.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody needs to hear that.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your wife is not your enemy, man.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Your husband is not your enemy.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: See, we know this scripture, Ephesians 6.12, which says, For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the enemy would love to convince a husband that the person lying beside him is his problem.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then the husband attacks the wife, the wife attacks the husband, words begin flying, offence enters, pride enters, bitterness enters, communication shuts down, and while husband and wife are fighting one another, the real enemy is delighted because he's managed to turn allies into opponents.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: But what would happen if in the middle of an argument somebody suddenly remembered?
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  SPEAKER_00: What wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
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  SPEAKER_00: You are not my enemy?
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  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we might disagree and we may need to address something.
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  SPEAKER_00: We may even need correction, but you are not my enemy.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: We are one flesh, and therefore we fight the enemy together.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: But unfortunately, the serpent still will seek access.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: In Genesis 3, Satan approached Eve with deception.
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  SPEAKER_00: Yea, have God said.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: His weapon was suggestion, his objective was deception.
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  SPEAKER_00: He wanted Eve questioning what God had spoken.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: But Adam's failure was not simply that Eve was deceived, Adam was there.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And Genesis says she gave the fruit unto her husband with her, and he did eat.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Adam failed to uphold God's command himself.
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  SPEAKER_00: And husbands, there is a warning there.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Your job is not to police your wife as though you are spiritually superior to her.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Your job is first to stand faithful before God yourself.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot protect your house from deception while entertaining deception yourself.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot demand holiness from your wife while secretly feeding sin in your own life.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot tell everybody else what God said while you are disobeying him.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: See, before I discern everybody else's blind spots, Lord show me mine.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Before I correct my wife's attitude, Lord, search my heart.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Before I talk about her words, Lord govern my tongue.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Before I demand submission, Lord teach me obedience.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because the first person a husband must bring under God's authority is himself.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to become watchmen over our own home.
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  SPEAKER_00: There is a spiritual watchfulness that belongs in every Christian home.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not paranoia, not suspicion, not control, but discernment.
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  SPEAKER_00: See, a shepherd watches for wolves, a watchman watches for danger, and husbands, there are moments when the Holy Spirit may alert you.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Something is affecting this house, something is disturbing the peace, something is influencing my children, something is troubling my wife, and something is trying to enter through entertainment, relationships, offense, bitterness, fear, temptation, unforgiveness, or deception.
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  SPEAKER_00: And rather than immediately accusing somebody, the godly husband begins with prayer.
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  SPEAKER_00: Holy Spirit, show me what is happening.
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  SPEAKER_00: Give me wisdom.
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  SPEAKER_00: Show me how to love, show me what to say, show me when to speak, show me when to remain silent.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Show me whether this battle requires conversation, repentance, or forgiveness, boundaries, prayer, or perhaps all of them.
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  SPEAKER_00: That is spiritual leadership, not controlling everybody, but serving everybody through discernment.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: See, covering does not mean concealing.
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  SPEAKER_00: And let me make something important clear.
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  SPEAKER_00: When I say a husband should cover his wife, I don't mean covering sin by pretending it doesn't exist.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean enabling destructive behavior.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean hiding abuse.
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  SPEAKER_00: Biblical covering means I protect your dignity while helping you towards truth.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't expose your weaknesses simply to embarrass you.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't weaponize your mistakes.
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't tell everybody your failures.
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  SPEAKER_00: I bring truth with love because that's what Jesus does with us.
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  SPEAKER_00: Jesus doesn't leave us in sin, but neither does he delight in humiliating us.
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  SPEAKER_00: He restores.
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  SPEAKER_00: So we must wash our home with the word.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Paul speaks of the washing of water by the word.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: See, husbands, what is washing through your house?
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  SPEAKER_00: Anger, television, social media, complaining, gossip, fear, or the word of God.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: A husband doesn't need to preach a 40-minute sermon to his wife every morning.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, can you imagine she'd be rolling her eyes?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes spiritual leadership sounds like this.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Can we pray about that?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's, let's see what scripture says.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's taking your wife's hand and saying, Father, give my wife strength today.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Protect her mind, guard her heart, give her wisdom.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let her know how deeply she is truly loved.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Help me to be the husband she needs, Lord.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine a woman hearing her husband regularly praying like that over her.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine children hearing their father bless their mother rather than consistently criticize her.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: What atmosphere would that create?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: See, we need to present her back to God.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the picture that has gripped me personally.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: One day I will stand before God and I want to be able to say, Lord, I loved the woman you entrusted to me.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: I prayed for her, protected her, I honored her, I encouraged her calling.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: When she was weak, I didn't crush her.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: When she was discouraged, I strengthened her.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: When I was wrong, I repented.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: When she was wrong, I sought restoration rather than revenge.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I guarded our covenant.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I remained faithful.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to create a home where your spirit was welcome.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, Christ alone presents his church holy and spotless.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: But husbands, while our wives are entrusted to our companionship, may our marriages cooperate with what Jesus is doing rather than fight against it.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: May our wives be stronger in God because they married us.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: May they pray more because we encouraged prayer.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: May they believe more because we encouraged faith.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: May they walk more confidently in their calling because we didn't suppress their gifts.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: May they know more peace because we cultivated peace.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And may they understand godly love because we demonstrated it.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Men, come on, you've got to take your position.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Men, our homes need us, not dictators, not tyrants, not passive Adams.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Godly men, men who pray, men who repent, men who forgive, men who listen, men who discern, men who serve, men who remain faithful, men who know the word, men who can recognize when something is attacking their home and say, nah, not in this house.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not by screaming, not through intimidation, but through prayer, truth, love, wisdom, and spiritual authority under Jesus Christ.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: See, Joshua said, As for me in my house, we will serve the Lord.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's Joshua 24:15.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Men, somebody has to establish that standard.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the final challenge.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Husband, look at your wife again.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not merely as the woman you married, but see her as a daughter of God entrusted to your love.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: She belongs ultimately to Him, and your marriage is stewardship.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, what kind of husband am I becoming?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Does my leadership resemble Jesus?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Does my wife feel cherished?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Does she feel heard?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Does she feel spiritually supported?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Does she feel safe telling me when I'm wrong?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Am I praying for her?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Am I protecting our covenant?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Am I watching over my own heart?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: And am I leading through sacrifice?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because Ephesians doesn't merely say husbands lead your wives, it gives us something far more demanding.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus died for his bride.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's our standard: sacrificial love, protective love, nurturing love, faithful love, sanctifying influence, and a love that says, I don't simply want something from you, I want God's very best for you.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: May God raise up husbands who understand that authority is responsibility.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And may He raise up watchmen who first watch over their own souls.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: May He raise up men who will fight for their wives instead of fighting against them.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And may our homes become places where husbands and wives can say together, We are not enemies, we are heirs together of the grace of life, and together we belong to Jesus.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me today, and I pray that this message has encouraged you, strengthened your faith, and drawn you closer to God.
• 17:04
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• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can find out more about supporting the ministry through the links provided.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, remember this God loves you and He has a purpose for your life, and He's always with you.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Ian Green, God bless you, and I'll see you again soon.