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16. Exploring Ancestral Healing Through Family Constellations with Kylie Aroha Fifield · Constellations and all that...

• 0:00
  Tracy Cartwright: Before you start listening to this episode, I just wanted to tell you about my New Year's meditation.
• 0:06
  Tracy Cartwright: You can receive this by registering on my website, and you can listen to this at any time.
• 0:12
  Tracy Cartwright: Jump over to tracycartwright.co .nz to receive this free.
• 0:17
  Tracy Cartwright: Download.
• 0:23
  Tracy Cartwright: Kia ora and welcome to Constellations and All That.
• 0:26
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm your host Tracy Cartwright, and together we will be exploring the world of family constellations with facilitators and clients from around the world.
• 0:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Looking at different perspectives and experiences in the work, having a cup of tea and just chatting with some friends around their experiences in Constellations.
• 0:46
  Tracy Cartwright: We'd love for you to join us.
• 0:48
  Tracy Cartwright: I hope that you enjoy this series as much as I have loved making it.
• 0:56
  Tracy Cartwright: Kia ora everyone, welcome to Constellations and all that.
• 1:00
  Tracy Cartwright: Today I have the pleasure of chatting with my friend and colleague Kylie Aroha Fifield.
• 1:06
  Tracy Cartwright: Kia ora everyone, welcome to Constellations and all that.
• 1:06
  Tracy Cartwright: Today I have the pleasure of chatting with my friend and colleague Kylie Aroha Fifield.
• 1:07
  Tracy Cartwright: Kia ora Kylie.
• 1:08
  Tracy Cartwright: Kia ora.
• 1:09
  Tracy Cartwright: As you've heard, I know that you listen to the podcast as well, so I don't introduce my guests as far as saying what they do, where they come from.
• 1:17
  Tracy Cartwright: I allow my guests to share whatever is there for them.
• 1:21
  Tracy Cartwright: So this is your opportunity to share with our listeners and our viewers.
• 1:26
  Tracy Cartwright: A little bit about you.
• 1:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Okay, well, I'm a mum of five children, ranging from 21 down to seven.
• 1:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I love to garden.
• 1:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I love rongoa, Māori.
• 1:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I loved constellations work.
• 1:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And a little bit about where I come from.
• 1:47
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I live in Taipuhi, which is in the far north of New Zealand, and I whakapapa to the very far north of New Zealand, so Ngāti Kuri, Te Aupōuri, Te Rarawa, and I also have Tuhoe -Te Arawa connections through my grandmother as well.
• 2:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Beautiful,
• 2:03
  Tracy Cartwright: and you have some
• 2:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: connections to Ireland, is that correct?
• 2:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I do, so my dad through his mum and dad, so both my nana's parents.
• 2:15
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, uh, Irish originally, and they came from Ireland through to Australia and then through to New Zealand.
• 2:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then my granddad's family from my dad's side came through from the UK over on a ship called the Black Prince, when my grandfather was about 17, I think, with his mum and dad, here to New Zealand.
• 2:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And we've got a bit of Scandinavian, a bit of Finnish, whakapapa in there as well.
• 2:40
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh, the Black Prince you've reminded me because I'm going to just jump straight in here.
• 2:45
  Tracy Cartwright: We were together on the weekend down in Devonport at the Sea Scouts Hall where we had our mini immersion and there was a sign there.
• 2:56
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah,
• 2:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: it was so cool because I've never seen, especially like, um, because of being very actively on the journey of learning all about my whakapapa from my Māori side and because mum's Māori and dad's Pākehā.
• 3:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so it's really cool to see those things and to know, to be reminded that my great-grandfather was in the Navy and to see the Black Prince, especially being in the North when I'm very, very, very much around the line and all of those things.
• 3:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So that was really cool.
• 3:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It's just cool to be in the area like where my grandparents have lived and my dad when they were growing up.
• 3:36
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So it was cool on the weekend.
• 3:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It's nice to have those reminders.
• 3:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Dad always gets a little bit worried that we forget about his side.
• 3:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We're like, we don't forget.
• 3:46
  Tracy Cartwright: Don't forget when the signs are there for you, hey?
• 3:50
  Tracy Cartwright: They keep showing up.
• 3:53
  Tracy Cartwright: So beautiful.
• 3:55
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, I remember your response to seeing the sign and it was like, oh yeah.
• 4:00
  Tracy Cartwright: It was almost like a reminder, eh, that they were like, yeah, we're here as
• 4:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: well.
• 4:07
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah, and also like it was really cool because when I was in my te reo Māori class, we had to, one of our assessments was, or assignments was to speak about a person in your whānau.
• 4:22
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I had used somebody from my Pākehā whakapapa, which was my great -grandfather, that's how I learned about him coming over on the Black Prince.
• 4:31
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, that's like how it all mixes in.
• 4:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh, that's so cool.
• 4:36
  Tracy Cartwright: It's very cool.
• 4:37
  Tracy Cartwright: I know the story of how you got into Constellations, but I'd love for you to share with the listeners around how you first met Constellations and what...
• 4:48
  Tracy Cartwright: If you can remember what that experience was like for you, being someone who didn't know about it at the beginning or hadn't heard about it.
• 4:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I had sort of been on a little mission in my life after learning about all these different healing mobilities and being on an active path of healing for myself.
• 5:07
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I was sort of had this mission that I was going to find the thing that was going to be the most efficient bang for your buck.
• 5:17
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Something that I could do for others because I had recognised it was quite hard for myself to learn as an adult and to be able to, to heal a lot of the things that had happened in my life.
• 5:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I just wanted it to be easier for other people and I could see that it was very costly and at the time I had the money to be able to do all of these different things.
• 5:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So that was my little mission in life I had.
• 5:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so I had a friend who had recommended Family Constellations to me.
• 5:48
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And she was the type of friend where if she says it's good, it's good.
• 5:51
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: You know it's going to be good.
• 5:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I didn't know what it was about.
• 5:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Just, yep, I know it's going to be good.
• 5:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I had not been able to get to a Constellation workshop in our area.
• 6:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Where I was living, but then there was a little ad on Facebook, and it was a taster session with yourself, and I thought, yes, I'm going to go do it.
• 6:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, I realised later on in hindsight, a taster session is meant to be just a little bit shorter, but I'd done a full-blown, um, constellation, and I remember being really nervous as well, because for me, like, yeah, I remember being really nervous, and you had said at the time, your grandmother's here, and I was like, yeah, I'm going to do it.
• 6:33
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I knew that she was here, so that, that was your little, like, gifting as well, but that was enough for me to go, yes, I can trust this, because I was still a little bit nervous still, and yeah, had a full on session, and I was just like, this is it, this is the thing I've been looking for, that just has the biggest impact, I could just feel it, I could just feel it rippling out from myself, backwards, forwards, all over the place, and I just thought, wow, in this one session, I could just feel it.
• 7:00
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: you can do so much.
• 7:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And that was at that time, not even realising, not even having the, you know, the, what I know now about how much it spreads out and ripples out.
• 7:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I just thought this is it.
• 7:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: This is what I want to do.
• 7:14
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I just did one session.
• 7:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then I think you had contacted me because, well, you had contacted me.
• 7:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I can't remember how, because Margie, um, who was in our area did family constellations and she wanted to.
• 7:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I'm going to train some people in the work before she had left because she planned on moving away.
• 7:34
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so you had let me know about it.
• 7:36
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I'm like, I am in there.
• 7:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I was so keen.
• 7:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I just thought I found it.
• 7:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I found the thing and I was like, yeah, so I just went from one session straight into training with Maggie.
• 7:48
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful answer.
• 7:49
  Tracy Cartwright: Where did you go with that?
• 7:51
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I did the first lot of training with Maggie and then I, for myself, I'd had Divine message, where I'd had to just take a step back, um, being Māori, there were things that I learned in te ao wairoa, our spiritual stuff, and I knew I had to step back and take care of things on those side, on that side of things, and then I came back, and I did a second lot of training with Tracy, and that was just so cool, because it was the first time I learned it strictly within um, The framework of Family Constellations and the next time coming back, it was coming back with all of who I am and being able to amalgamate that all, which has been really cool and just really cool like with yourself because you know about those things as well and so
• 8:43
  Tracy Cartwright: yeah,
• 8:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: it's really cool.
• 8:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It was really exciting.
• 8:47
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I was excited the first time around, but you had to do a lot of work because as you know, you've got to always be doing your work as well.
• 8:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And we did a lot, a lot of work initially, so.
• 8:58
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 8:59
  Tracy Cartwright: And get your onions, right?
• 9:01
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yes.
• 9:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So it was just so exciting to come back and do the second one of training with you.
• 9:07
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: You know, you're amazing.
• 9:09
  Tracy Cartwright: So for yourself as a mother of five, what benefits have you noticed within your family system, whether it's your children or your siblings?
• 9:15
  Tracy Cartwright: Because I know you have quite a few siblings as well.
• 9:18
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah, it's really cool because as you know, members of my family have also been a part of Family Constellations as well.
• 9:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And we've come to see Tracy.
• 9:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so they've had really profound, um, effects for them, without sharing about what happened to them personally.
• 9:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then with my own children, so my daughter, my youngest daughter is seven, and she was a baby when I first started with the constellations.
• 9:48
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And my oldest daughter, she was about 15, and I was always sharing whatever I had been through.
• 9:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I could see directly, so anything that was happening with me that had impacted me, I could see it happening with my daughter, so my older daughter.
• 10:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So it was really cool and being able to talk to literally like things that were releasing within my own whakapapa and my own journey, like it was releasing my daughter in front of my eyes.
• 10:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so it was really cool because initially I thought, oh, yay, there's somebody else to do the work with me for just thinking about my own side of the family.
• 10:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And, um, and then later on realising that, um, she has more than just a mum, she has a mum and a dad.
• 10:34
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So it's really cool.
• 10:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So seeing the effects happening with her, with her dad's family as well.
• 10:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But yeah, for me, like especially, it's huge, like in seven years, massive, the peace would be the biggest thing.
• 10:50
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like, just to be able to just be in life now, not so chaotic.
• 10:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Well, never as chaotic as what it used to be like, that's the biggest thing.
• 11:01
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And just acceptance, like, just to be more settled as a mum and with my children as well, not having to worry about them as much, like, recognising, like, just as I have my journey in life, my kids do as well.
• 11:20
  Tracy Cartwright: Honoring their fate, isn't it, like acknowledging that they will have to have their own life experiences and we can't stop that from happening.
• 11:28
  Tracy Cartwright: We can clear what we're carrying and what we may be passing on, but as human beings, they will still have their life experiences.
• 11:37
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah, and that's probably the hugest thing.
• 11:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I will sit there and I'll just look at them and think, wow, they're just living their life.
• 11:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I don't feel the need to save them and to control to try and because I'm trying to keep them safe from things that I thought I needed to keep them safe from instead of allowing them to learn and have that growth and whatnot, especially because I never I grew up not wanting to be hurt.
• 12:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I didn't want to be hurt.
• 12:06
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so that was a huge thing.
• 12:09
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so recognizing through this journey that, you know, hurt Is, helps to be a catalyst for, for change and that there's ways of being able to process and deal with it, like, and that's, yeah, really huge.
• 12:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I just love being able to just be and sit in places, like, even with my siblings and whatnot, being able to be at family functions and just smile and sit there and like, not worry about being upset or triggered.
• 12:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like, that's huge to me, like, still all the time I'll sit there and love it.
• 12:43
  Tracy Cartwright: And knowing you for the time that I've known you, recognising the shift in your nervous system.
• 12:52
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you.
• 12:54
  Tracy Cartwright: Recognising it from my own experience, from my own overwhelm.
• 12:59
  Tracy Cartwright: It was like a really tightly, I was like a really tightly sprung coil.
• 13:04
  Tracy Cartwright: That and, but that made me super sensitive as well,
• 13:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: in a not
• 13:09
  Tracy Cartwright: healthy way.
• 13:10
  Tracy Cartwright: Whereas now my nervous system is way more relax and at ease and at peace but I'm still sensitive but I've learned to bring it down so that I'm not taking on everyone's stuff.
• 13:24
  Tracy Cartwright: Still feeling it and as we shared just before we recorded this, uh, potentially there's a bit more work to do on that level for myself because it can take a toll on the body.
• 13:35
  Tracy Cartwright: But yeah.
• 13:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, I just want to honour and acknowledge the shifts within you and your nervous system that I recognise from my own experience.
• 13:46
  Tracy Cartwright: And that has given me the gift of being able to receive and read other people's nervous systems very quickly.
• 13:54
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah,
• 13:55
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I recognise
• 13:55
  Tracy Cartwright: that.
• 13:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That's what's really cool with the work, working like in workshops with other groups of people.
• 14:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I remember one of the first ones where I was representing, so we weren't looking at my issue.
• 14:07
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But as we know, we are.
• 14:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Might be looking at our own issue when we're having a workshop or we could be a part of somebody else's.
• 14:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I remember stepping in for somebody who had a very loving relationship with her dad.
• 14:19
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I didn't actually know what a healthy love was.
• 14:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So to be able to step into that was like, Oh, this is what it feels like.
• 14:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Well, this is what it feels like to really love your dad.
• 14:31
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That was probably like something little, but.
• 14:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Probably one of the biggest things that had like a huge impact on me as well, being a part of somebody else's.
• 14:42
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:44
  Tracy Cartwright: When you represent or resonate for someone else.
• 14:46
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 14:48
  Tracy Cartwright: It can show you stuff within your own family system or your body or like you say, what it feels like to have experienced something that you hadn't experienced.
• 14:57
  Tracy Cartwright: But there's potential for it, right?
• 14:59
  Tracy Cartwright: There's potential for it in your field.
• 15:01
  Tracy Cartwright: And when you get to say yes to that.
• 15:03
  Tracy Cartwright: And even if it's just a tiny little bit sometimes, it allows it to potentially move forward and come to you, where you go
• 15:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: to.
• 15:14
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So cool, I love it.
• 15:17
  Tracy Cartwright: So with your friends and whānau, how would you describe Constellations to them?
• 15:22
  Tracy Cartwright: Do you use the Māori worldview with it, or how do you describe it?
• 15:27
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It's so funny.
• 15:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: If I'm being, um, it depends on who I'm talking to.
• 15:32
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, and probably a little bit of where I'm at in life.
• 15:37
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So initially I would just say, you know, to close friends, because I swear with them, I'm just like, oh, if you want to get rid of your shit, was how I used to describe it.
• 15:47
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like, this is what you do.
• 15:49
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Come and do this stuff.
• 15:50
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Really, that was sort of coming from the frame of mind too, that I was always like, I want to work on my healing.
• 15:55
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I want to work on trauma.
• 15:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I want to do this.
• 15:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: You know, it was always looking for that stuff.
• 16:00
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: As opposed to recognising that actually it's really, it's actually a really awesome way of being able to see what resources you would like, where your strengths are and your gifts are that come from your tūpuna, from your ancestors.
• 16:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, yeah, people ask me now.
• 16:18
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: As you know, and lots of people know, it can be so hard, I remember in my first sort of training, I'm like, oh my god, how do I, how do I explain this to other people?
• 16:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I guess, yeah, so now when I explain it, I will usually just say it's a really good way of uncovering like hidden dynamics that are in your whānau, in your whakapapa, will be possibly influencing you in the here and now.
• 16:46
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, yeah, and so it's just a really good way of looking and seeing those things and acknowledging them and finding, you know, where there might be a blockage, like with the flow, the mauri that comes through your whakapapa, seeing where that is, being able to acknowledge that pain or those challenges that might be there.
• 17:09
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And just honouring that as well, because all of those things actually help to, for you to be the person that you are today.
• 17:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So that's usually how I explain it.
• 17:18
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I'll tell them that we can use people and objects to be able to represent different aspects, like in your, in your whakapapa.
• 17:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, and that, it, that allows us to sort of help to find those things and to feel, yeah, like, ah, wairua, like, yeah, where those blockages may be.
• 17:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah,
• 17:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: it just depends on who I'm talking to and what not.
• 17:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That's been the interesting part about this being a facilitator as well, is different ways of explaining it to be able to, so that other people can understand what it is.
• 17:57
  Tracy Cartwright: And
• 17:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I think it's a little bit like people who know me though, they just kind of, because they know me personally, they're like, yeah, sure, we're just going to come.
• 18:04
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We don't know what it is, but yep.
• 18:08
  Tracy Cartwright: Yep, trust you, we're here,
• 18:10
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: we're there.
• 18:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I like it, like, yeah, that's usually how I try to explain it to people.
• 18:18
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I probably rely a lot on that people just know me.
• 18:22
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah.
• 18:23
  Tracy Cartwright: And so, do you have clients?
• 18:25
  Tracy Cartwright: How do you work with it in your day -to -day life?
• 18:28
  Tracy Cartwright: Like, I have a business and I have clients who book in and see me.
• 18:32
  Tracy Cartwright: Is this something that you're actively doing or is this...
• 18:36
  Tracy Cartwright: So my preference
• 18:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: at the moment is I love supporting other people who are doing this work.
• 18:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It's my biggest preference, so I can just live life, but if you ask people around me.
• 18:51
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: People turn up my house all the time anyway.
• 18:56
  Tracy Cartwright: The life of the constellation, hey?
• 19:01
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so, yeah, because I just love the work, I very much am always encouraging people and just living my life and the things that I've learned through this work has allowed me to have an impact on people.
• 19:14
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I really love that organic way of, of being and whatnot.
• 19:19
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, yeah.
• 19:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That's what I do.
• 19:24
  Tracy Cartwright: That's beautiful.
• 19:26
  Tracy Cartwright: That's so beautiful.
• 19:27
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Because, you know, it's like, everything in life it can help with.
• 19:31
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It's not even just, you know, because it connects you back to those strengths and resources, you can use it anywhere.
• 19:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So anything I do, whether I'm, so I'm also a part of Te Hauora o Ninihi Charitable Trust, so we do work with the Oranga and Te Hauora.
• 19:48
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: The well -being of people, the environment and, and whatnot.
• 19:52
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I'm the treasurer for that as well.
• 19:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And we have huge gardens and we do pest control out of the community of Otago.
• 20:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so even just in everyday life, like different dynamics with different people, being able to tap into different strengths and resources to be able to do anything I'm doing, whether it's business related, it's not even just with my family.
• 20:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:19
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Everywhere it has, it has helped
• 20:20
  Tracy Cartwright: me.
• 20:21
  Tracy Cartwright: And sometimes it's just that little bit of a conversation with someone, right?
• 20:25
  Tracy Cartwright: And helping something to line, line back up, back into order or, or acknowledging something for them.
• 20:32
  Tracy Cartwright: And
• 20:33
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: just having that, I kind of describe it that once you have a sort of energy, like I've learned this actually from being around you a lot, ways of being and that energy, which you get from.
• 20:50
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So you can have that energy for yourself.
• 20:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I would match it to you.
• 20:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I'm like, that's what that feels like.
• 20:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then I notice other people will do that with me as well.
• 21:00
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so that's another part that's been really, really awesome.
• 21:05
  Tracy Cartwright: And if you feel comfortable, just share anything that has been.
• 21:10
  Tracy Cartwright: And you don't have to share this on, I'm just going to put this out there.
• 21:13
  Tracy Cartwright: Everybody knows I share everything.
• 21:18
  Tracy Cartwright: I was just trying to be polite here, Carly.
• 21:25
  Tracy Cartwright: So anything that has been maybe something that was a really big block or a trauma or something that was stopping you from moving forward that you've looked at without, you don't have to go into detail.
• 21:36
  Tracy Cartwright: It's just.
• 21:37
  Tracy Cartwright: And how, and has that become a resource for you now or it's moved out of the way or, yeah, because I know that the listeners, um, some of the feedback that I've had is that they really enjoy hearing people's stories or experiences.
• 21:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: One of the hugest ones for me is being Māori, um, raised with a Pākehā dad and a Māori mother.
• 22:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But we were disconnected from Amarae and we weren't, we didn't grow up learning our reo, our language.
• 22:10
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so over the years, trying to learn my language, te reo Māori, was really hard.
• 22:17
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: There was just always this block there.
• 22:20
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I didn't recognise it as a block, but it was really hard.
• 22:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so I was actually done lots of courses for Te Reo Māori, worked in the Māori liaison office at the university and whatnot when I was younger.
• 22:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I had the opportunity to learn from Julian Wilcox and some other people as well.
• 22:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But I had, the year I was training with Margi for Family Constellations, I was also doing a Te Reo Māori class.
• 22:50
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, and my kāia was clearer.
• 22:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Who I'm friends with now.
• 22:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so I was doing, learning Aureo and doing constellations at the same time.
• 23:00
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I had, um, there was a incident in our family, an argument that had happened with my, my dad and my sister.
• 23:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And what had come about from that was my sister had got, you know, she's a writer and she's all the time introducing things as Māori.
• 23:22
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Into her writing, and she was discussing something with my dad, and he had said something, and she'd got pissed off and said, Ah, you're just being a racist, and to my dad, and so I had heard the conversation from my sister and my dad, and just had listened, and I was okay.
• 23:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I thought I was okay, but it triggered something, and I love my dad, and my sister loves my dad, and my dad loves my sister, he loves us, and it had triggered something, and I just kept on crying, and I'm like, what on earth is going on, and what had come about was that As a child, seeing what had happened between my mum and dad, my mum and dad are separated now, they had a very, it was a violent relationship.
• 24:11
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And as a child, what I, I had actually done was I had internalised from what I'd seen with my dad and how he'd been to my mum.
• 24:20
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I thought that because of the way he treated her, that he didn't love her.
• 24:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And in my child mind, my mum had brown skin, and I had brown skin, and he mustn't love her because she's got brown skin, and then I'd equate that to being Māori.
• 24:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So what had actually been going on with my te reo Māori journey, my Māori language journey was, and I'd recognised it later on through other parts where I was learning about,
• 24:45
  Tracy Cartwright: more
• 24:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: about myself, was that the more I was reclaiming who I was as a Māori, I had subconsciously had thought that my dad would love me less, and so that was my block.
• 25:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I couldn't keep moving forward because I so wanted my dad to love me on the subconscious level, which we know, you know, there's a loyalty that we have to our parents, that I couldn't be more Māori or my dad would love me less.
• 25:15
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And that was just from an argument that my dad and sister had had.
• 25:20
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I'd cried for days.
• 25:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I was like, what's going on?
• 25:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I wasn't even mad at my dad.
• 25:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We're very accepting.
• 25:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Oh, no, we're not always very accepting.
• 25:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We know how our dad is.
• 25:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We know he loves us.
• 25:33
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I wasn't, I just said, oh yeah, that's just dad.
• 25:36
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And to be able to look at that as well, and to realize that, and that, and to, so that was with Margie, that one.
• 25:46
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But the other interesting part too was that, My daughter's boyfriend at the time, so my daughter was 15, he was 17, he had actually come along to this workshop with them.
• 25:58
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So he saw all of this in this workshop as well.
• 26:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so, and then for my daughter to like to come back home and my daughter to hear the experience from him and myself, like that was just a huge impact like right there.
• 26:14
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then for my daughter to see me so vulnerable as well, like, she's a teenager.
• 26:19
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She was like, I want to go and have a, she was going to have a sleepover as a friends.
• 26:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then I said, Oh, is it okay if you just like hang out with me at home?
• 26:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And she, and I still remember so clearly, she was like, God, like she's a typical teenager.
• 26:34
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She wants to have a sleepover.
• 26:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She's like, but I love this, like, you know, the vulnerability that she could see with myself as well.
• 26:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And just being, what I realized too, was just being more present.
• 26:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Because I was always not wanting to be here in the present because that was too hard and too hurtful and all of those things.
• 26:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so yeah, so yeah, that was like probably one of the biggest ones.
• 26:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um,
• 27:00
  Tracy Cartwright: and I just want to say, I know your daughter's living an amazing life right now, right?
• 27:04
  Tracy Cartwright: So all your, all the work that you're doing and that what she's saying yes to and, um, yeah, things are evolving magnificently.
• 27:15
  Tracy Cartwright: Which she
• 27:15
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: makes me laugh too because she used to say because I wish everybody knows I'm always sharing about whatever I might be doing.
• 27:22
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And she had, my other daughter, the seven -year -old, has decided to pull a ball out.
• 27:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But she had always sort of, she'd always said that, she goes, oh man, I used to think, she used to think she didn't like knowing about what was going on.
• 27:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And as she's gotten older, she's recognised, actually, it's pretty good to know what's going on.
• 27:51
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah.
• 27:52
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: have the experience with people who aren't aware and to see the effects because they don't want to see things they don't want to be aware of it yet it is having a huge impact on their lives for her to be able to see that she's like okay i think i do like you know like to be able to see and be aware and so that's really cool i love that she can call me up and ask me about different things i do laugh though sometimes if i've been working on something And I get a little bit hesitant to share with her sometimes, because I know she'll go, No! Is that why this thing, because it's, it'll be coming up, showing up in her life at the time?
• 28:34
  Tracy Cartwright: She's so enmeshed with her mum, right?
• 28:37
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yes, but she appreciates that then she is.
• 28:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Much more free.
• 28:42
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, exactly.
• 28:43
  Tracy Cartwright: Second, I'm a little bit, yeah.
• 28:46
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And it's cool, like she's got a very lovely partner now.
• 28:50
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And to hear at 21 things that I didn't know.
• 28:55
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I was 21 when I had her.
• 28:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: To hear her awareness that she has.
• 29:01
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Piki, wow, you're so young.
• 29:04
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So to hear her awareness when it comes to entering into relationships and the emotional maturity that she has.
• 29:11
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah.
• 29:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Really, really, really lovely, and yeah, it's just so neat, like, I love that so much.
• 29:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: You're 21.
• 29:22
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I had her at 21.
• 29:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Wow.
• 29:26
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm thinking of the exercise that you facilitated on the weekend.
• 29:31
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I know, I will one.
• 29:33
  Tracy Cartwright: Hm.
• 29:34
  Tracy Cartwright: Do you want to share that a little bit for people or, or what was, um?
• 29:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Well, a really cool thing that we've been doing, which I love a lot, is that, um, so being a part of the Rōpū Ngā Tōhunga o Ngā Hau e Pā is how I got to meet Faith, and then Faith and Hone, and they have the Rongo Māori clinic up at the hospital in Rawene.
• 29:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so, because of faith training in the work as well, so we both do similar mahi, that has led to having, holding the constellation workshops on the marae, up at Pākanae, with yourself and with all the supportees.
• 30:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so, I have loved that so much, being able to be on the marae in that beautiful.
• 30:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Being Māori, you immediately feel safe because you're on the marae for some people, most people.
• 30:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Just a little disclaimer there.
• 30:32
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But, um, and so being able to do different things on the marae and with more Māori, because initially when I first trained, A lot of the workshops, there weren't as many Māori people who were attending and also a little bit, yeah, so there weren't as many Māori people and so it's really cool to go on to the marae and even though it's open to everybody and, but that has probably excited me lots.
• 30:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so leading into the exercise, which you had suggested, I think initially we just, did we do just the maunga, maybe, initially?
• 31:06
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I think the awa just popped up.
• 31:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So maunga is mountain, awa is a river for those two.
• 31:12
  Tracy Cartwright: I think it was both because it was one that I had, um, I had done when I did a piece of work a couple of years ago with the iska, but it felt really relevant for.
• 31:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so we did that at the marae.
• 31:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So the fourth experience we, um, with during the exercise, which I just loved was that, so with the exercise we're looking at a A maungana awa, mountain and a river that supported our tūpuna, our ancestors.
• 31:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And then we're looking at one that supports us in the here and now.
• 31:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I personally always love anything that brings together, just like anywhere around the world, there can be a little bit of disharmony with cultures and whatnot.
• 31:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I love things that people can connect with when they come from.
• 32:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So they can see the beauty within one another.
• 32:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Pākehā, Māori, and anything that draws people together.
• 32:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So the first time we had done the exercise, everybody else in the group was Māori, and there was one girl who was European, Pākehā, but she'd come from overseas.
• 32:19
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so she didn't know.
• 32:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She was just the most beautiful, beautiful girl.
• 32:25
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It was super honouring of the indigenous of New Zealand, Aotearoa, loved Māori, loved the people here, and felt like it was wrong for her to feel like that she could still belong to a whenua, to the land of where she was.
• 32:42
  Tracy Cartwright: And so for
• 32:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: others to be able, in the group, to be able to, you know, one, it was awesome that she felt safe enough to be vulnerable in that.
• 32:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She was allowed to be able to do that as well.
• 32:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And for others to be able to see that as well.
• 32:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I just feel like it just reminds us of the, the humanness, instead of the systems that may be having an effect on us.
• 33:07
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, that's
• 33:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: about it
• 33:08
  Tracy Cartwright: darling.
• 33:09
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, I really enjoyed and appreciated that particular exercise for that reason.
• 33:17
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And just seeing all the different, um, effects that it has on everybody.
• 33:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So for another one, another friend of mine who was struggling at the time with knowing where home was, so she is Māori, she was born, I believe she was born here in New Zealand, but she's lived in Australia a lot of her life, and in New Zealand, and she just didn't know, you know, so she's growing up, growing up, as you know, within our Māori, with Māori, we, a maunga, an awa, our mountain and our river is really hugely important to us, like, when we introduce ourselves, um, We have a little introduction of Pepiha, and we are always connecting back to our mauna and our awa.
• 33:58
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So we grow up knowing this, a lot of us, in saying these things.
• 34:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so she had too, but she was feeling like, I don't even know where home is for them at the moment.
• 34:09
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And having that knowing is a bit different to actually really embodying that.
• 34:14
  Tracy Cartwright: And so
• 34:15
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: this was her first constellation workshop and she was just like, oh my gosh, this stuff is real.
• 34:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She was just like, she just didn't expect it to have such an impact on her because the work is somatic.
• 34:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So to feel it and embody it is so different to the knowing.
• 34:34
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so for her to feel that and to feel the, the moment.
• 34:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That we're supporting her in the here and now, and where her tūpuna have come from is just like, really profound for her, and so I love that.
• 34:49
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Fast forward to doing it this last weekend as well, and to see the, again, different experiences for people as well.
• 34:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Again, the similar, I think there was another similar instance where, you know, somebody was a little bit hesitant about feeling like it was okay to be supported by a maunga in the awa here.
• 35:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: As well, so I love, um, being able to provide a space for people to be able to be safe in that knowing and that feeling and to honour that.
• 35:18
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah, of course, they really are very respectful and very loving and of the people of this land and whatnot too.
• 35:25
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, and I also just get to love, I love being able to share about things from within Te Ao Māori.
• 35:32
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like a maungana awa to us, they're not just a mountain and a river that's just up the way.
• 35:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Kai.
• 35:38
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That is a part, that's our, part of our whakapapa, part of our ancestry, like, that's huge.
• 35:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I also did the exercise too.
• 35:47
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I went outside and did it for myself and got another.
• 35:52
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: another layer as well, which was really, really awesome.
• 35:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I loved that as well.
• 35:58
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So that was quite cool.
• 35:58
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I thought, ah I've done it, like, it's a good, and I was like, did it again.
• 36:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I was like, Oh, actually, there was a little bit.
• 36:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah,
• 36:05
  Tracy Cartwright: I've, I've, I have run this exercise many times as well.
• 36:10
  Tracy Cartwright: My experience with that exercise I had recently, I was in doing a piece of work down in Te Kiwiri.
• 36:18
  Tracy Cartwright: I was at, I was at, And I was sharing that exercise and I thought, Oh, I'll just use myself as the example.
• 36:28
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow.
• 36:29
  Tracy Cartwright: Next minute, I went really deep very quickly because I can drop in really quickly.
• 36:37
  Tracy Cartwright: And, uh, what a profound experience that was connecting with my Sami ancestors.
• 36:44
  Tracy Cartwright: So the Sami are the indigenous in Scandinavia.
• 36:48
  Tracy Cartwright: There have been so many indications.
• 36:51
  Tracy Cartwright: and confirmations of this and it was yeah it felt like another layer of some ancient Ancient connection but ancient healing and yeah and being able to really feel the energy of the mountain and the awa.
• 37:12
  Tracy Cartwright: Wow, the strength that I've received from that was amazing.
• 37:17
  Tracy Cartwright: And I love the way that you facilitate it too, you really hold it in a beautiful space as well.
• 37:22
  Tracy Cartwright: So yeah, so I'm learning from you also in this space.
• 37:30
  Tracy Cartwright: It's beautiful.
• 37:31
  Tracy Cartwright: If anyone was in your area and they did want to Have a piece of work, would you send them somewhere else or would you see them?
• 37:40
  Tracy Cartwright: What would be the story if they felt really drawn to working with you, Kylie?
• 37:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: They felt really drawn to working with me, well because I know a lot of people so I also do as well.
• 37:55
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So
• 37:56
  Tracy Cartwright: for those who don't know what that is, what's that?
• 37:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Tauaporo are our Māori musical instruments.
• 38:04
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, so they can be used for music, but I love the healing part about pāngu kōroro.
• 38:11
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So me and a friend of um, Alexander Moore, we make ukutangi.
• 38:17
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And even though we're not experts, we love to share what we have learnt with other people.
• 38:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And people have always asked us, actually it started because people asked us if we could share.
• 38:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Share with them.
• 38:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So we do those workshops.
• 38:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, and we do that at Te Pueo Te Whiki at the Art Gallery as well, which is also where I have occasionally done Constellation workshops as well.
• 38:40
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I am in contact with lots of people all the time.
• 38:43
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: They always come into my world.
• 38:46
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I don't suggest people turn up on my doorstep.
• 38:48
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like the others already do.
• 38:51
  Tracy Cartwright: You don't or you do?
• 38:53
  Tracy Cartwright: Sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
• 38:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Don't suggest.
• 38:56
  Tracy Cartwright: We'll just clarify that for the listeners.
• 38:58
  Tracy Cartwright: She does not suggest they just turn up on her doorstep.
• 39:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I already have enough people turning up on my doorstep.
• 39:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, I think just living life, I'm always in contact with people.
• 39:10
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I, if people ask me specifically for Anyhow, I usually, um, will redirect them to people that I know.
• 39:20
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So currently, I will redirect people to the Rongo Māori clinic up in Rāwhiti.
• 39:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Faith and Hone and Sam and Liza are in the team.
• 39:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So Faith and Liza are both Family Constellations facilitators as well.
• 39:34
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, and I also, all the time, will redirect them to Tracy because she's amazing.
• 39:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Thank you.
• 39:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Or I just try to find out who the people are in the area that they are in.
• 39:47
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So I'm very well known for connecting people to other people and people trusting that if they ask me for, um, somebody that may be able to help them that I will redirect them or guide them to somebody who can help them.
• 40:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So do I take clients on myself at the moment?
• 40:06
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: No, I don't.
• 40:08
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It just happens organically.
• 40:11
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah, absolutely.
• 40:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah.
• 40:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Beautiful.
• 40:14
  Tracy Cartwright: Okay, well, is there anything else that you'd like to share today before we sign off?
• 40:19
  Tracy Cartwright: Don't forget our conference next year, how intensive, which is happening.
• 40:23
  Tracy Cartwright: That's right.
• 40:24
  Tracy Cartwright: Well, let's talk about a little bit about that.
• 40:26
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you.
• 40:27
  Tracy Cartwright: You were part of that this year, the conference and we're having another one next year.
• 40:34
  Tracy Cartwright: What was the highlight of that or what, what would you like to share about that?
• 40:39
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: The highlight for me would be Definitely appreciating being in New Zealand and Aotearoa, being Māori and being Pākehā as well and seeing the recognition from people who had come from around the world how things weren't as bad as I thought they were here in New Zealand.
• 41:03
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like we have so much things that can be seen as being not very good, but it actually showed me how Good.
• 41:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Our relations are compared to other people around the world, even things with, I think, Shabasti was the one that had shared how much Māori words that everybody uses.
• 41:27
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And he said that was, that was quite.
• 41:29
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, different for him.
• 41:31
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I think Alessandra shared that as well, that for people, there are words that we all know in New Zealand, like whānau, and tamariki, and whakapapa.
• 41:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: There are quite a few words that are very common that everybody uses.
• 41:45
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And they said that was really beautiful, which I.
• 41:47
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Also didn't realize how much Māori that we all use all the time until we hear people saying, Oh, what was that word?
• 41:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: What was that word?
• 41:55
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Um, so that was really awesome.
• 41:57
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Seeing our beautiful people from Australia, being able to feel the land, the whenua here that holds everybody.
• 42:04
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That was really awesome.
• 42:06
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I love that.
• 42:07
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I love that people were able to get in touch with knowing where they belong.
• 42:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That was huge.
• 42:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And to, again, like referring back to what I had said earlier, when there's an energy that can hold a space for, because you recognize it and other people can, it's like other people can match it.
• 42:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Is that a good way of describing it?
• 42:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So knowing the belonging that we have here as a people, other people are like, Oh my gosh, that's what it feels like.
• 42:33
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That's what that feels like.
• 42:35
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And to feel supported and to know, just to embody and feel that.
• 42:39
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It was really beautiful, something that I guess I've taken for granted because it's just, it was just annoying and so to put other people to be able to feel that I really loved that and being able to see like just the transformation from people from the beginning to the end and having people from the conference center with the resort where we're staying, you know, the staff to be like, wow, to see that like people, the way they were shining at the end.
• 43:11
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: After they'd been there, like, hearing those comments was really cool as well, meeting other people.
• 43:18
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We kind of
• 43:18
  Tracy Cartwright: need to take some before and after photos, eh?
• 43:20
  Tracy Cartwright: Of each other.
• 43:22
  Tracy Cartwright: Because, uh, really, it is really quite dynamic, yeah.
• 43:26
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: But definitely the biggest thing is very, very much appreciating being Māori as well, like, even more so.
• 43:34
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like, I just feel like we're so...
• 43:36
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Everyone here in New Zealand is so incredibly blessed and
• 43:40
  Tracy Cartwright: a
• 43:41
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: lot more appreciation, especially when you see all the not good stuff that's happening can really sort of take over at times.
• 43:48
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And there are things that, being Māori, like I wish everybody could come.
• 43:52
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: After we had the conference, I just really wished.
• 43:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Everybody in the world could come into this world as a Māori.
• 44:00
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like, I wish that for everybody, because I think it's so beautiful, the things that we have in our culture, the ways of being, which, you know, they can be everywhere, but I really, yeah, that was probably the biggest thing.
• 44:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I'm like, oh, I wish everybody could come in this way.
• 44:17
  Tracy Cartwright: I think the beautiful thing is that you've been able to stay connected.
• 44:24
  Tracy Cartwright: Māori have been able to stay connected to their, mostly, I mean, yes, the colonisation and all that did cut off a lot, but it's been rekindled in a way that other indigenous lands that have been colonised have been cut off from for such a long time, right?
• 44:45
  Tracy Cartwright: Whereas it's been a shorter time, so it's been an easier integration back into calling back in what is your birthright.
• 44:53
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you very much.
• 44:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Yeah.
• 44:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And because when I first came into this, I actually thought, oh, I'm going to be doing heaps of work on my mum's side because I had internalized from a lot of all of the bad things that had happened for our people that I was going to be doing a lot of work on that side of my whakapapa.
• 45:13
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And I realized actually, and it also gave me it like a huge appreciation and acknowledgement.
• 45:20
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So for example, like with my Irish whakapapa.
• 45:22
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That has been so many more generations upon generations upon generations of disconnect
• 45:29
  Tracy Cartwright: for some
• 45:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: people.
• 45:31
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Whereas for Māori, it's not that long ago that, that we were connected.
• 45:37
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so the disconnect is only very, very little on a timeline.
• 45:43
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so it's very easy to connect back in.
• 45:46
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so I can see that oftentimes when we have our workshop, Māori come in and they're just like, Oh yeah, I've got this.
• 45:52
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Thank you.
• 45:53
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Exactly.
• 45:54
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: We get it.
• 45:55
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so, yeah, I have a huge, a lot more appreciation for being Māori.
• 45:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Not that I didn't appreciate it, but I definitely appreciate it so much more.
• 46:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Now, so, and just, yeah, like it still makes me a little bit teary, I still remember it was a workshop that we'd done in Whangarei, um, and standing in for somebody where the, just the generations upon generations for the Irish line, we had been disconnected.
• 46:21
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I was just like, and I thought I had it bad for my Māori whakapapa, like, and that just really was a huge eye -opener.
• 46:30
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And that's what I really love, like, with the workers there.
• 46:33
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: You know, it doesn't matter how many generations back it was, we were able to find a way to reconnect us back to those strengths through this work and the gifts that are there just waiting.
• 46:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So, and acknowledging and seeing the things that had happened allows us to connect back into those things and bring it forward with us here and then allow it to flow through to our children and our descendants and whatnot.
• 46:58
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So
• 46:59
  Tracy Cartwright: cool.
• 47:00
  Tracy Cartwright: There's always a sense of, my experience of going, of being in marae, and this is kind of coming away from the conference now, but there's been a sense of feeling at home
• 47:12
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: and
• 47:12
  Tracy Cartwright: on this, and whether that goes back to the whakapapa that I don't know my Māori heritage.
• 47:20
  Tracy Cartwright: I'm curious and I'm welcoming it and I'm welcoming in more information.
• 47:27
  Tracy Cartwright: I'd always, it's always felt stuff.
• 47:31
  Tracy Cartwright: I think that's another conversation for another thing, but it's, it's, it's a beautiful, even before I knew that I had this, um, that I knew that I had Māori heritage, I'd felt it.
• 47:45
  Tracy Cartwright: And I think what it does is it reminds also my Irish heritage of the connection between Māori and English.
• 47:52
  Tracy Cartwright: My Scottish heritage, you know, so what you're able to gift to the world and being who you are and by being so connected to your own tūpuna is that you remind the rest of us the strength of it.
• 48:14
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, yeah.
• 48:15
  Tracy Cartwright: And I think the conference really highlighted that for a lot of people, right?
• 48:19
  Tracy Cartwright: For the yearning for a lot of people, there's a, there was a recognition of the yearning that people have deep in their souls to have that connection to that belonging and finding that in where they are and maybe creating something, but knowing and reconnecting back to the ones that feel strong and solid in their own stand within their indigenous roots.
• 48:46
  Tracy Cartwright: And the reason too why I remind people that, you know, I remind us that we all come from the people of the fire, the original people, and we can take from that.
• 48:59
  Tracy Cartwright: And yes, there've been many, many, many, many, many, many millions of ancestors that have been cut off, but there's still always threads there for us to connect to.
• 49:09
  Tracy Cartwright: We live in a time when we have this opportunity to reconnect, to rekindle, to remember.
• 49:19
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Even like, um, one of the ladies, she's like one of my favourite, won't they?
• 49:23
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She'll know.
• 49:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Like she had, she had like another beautiful thing that had come about afterwards was, shows she's Pākehā in Australia, and so she had asked when she could see our relationship between people here in New Zealand and Aotearoa, she was like, oh my gosh, like.
• 49:43
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She wanted to be able to foster that back in Australia, and she's like, she just didn't realize that how different it was.
• 49:51
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so for her to be able to experience here compared to back in Australia, she just didn't know.
• 49:56
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: She's a super beautiful, lovely person.
• 49:58
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Love her.
• 49:59
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And um, so just asking, you know, she was like, what can I, what can I do?
• 50:04
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: What can I do?
• 50:05
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And it's just as, you know, I just said to her, just find out at least who are the people of the area you're in.
• 50:11
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Find out as much as you can on your own.
• 50:14
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: To learn about the people that, of where you live, even that, just acknowledging that, just starting there.
• 50:20
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so to be even, to be able to share in that level, to be able to have an effect, and that wasn't even a, a constellation.
• 50:28
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: That was just the connections from, that had come about because of the constellations.
• 50:32
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: Being able to share in that way through this work as well, is just really awesome as well.
• 50:39
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, phenomenological.
• 50:42
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It is!
• 50:43
  Tracy Cartwright: It's such a big way, isn't it?
• 50:44
  Tracy Cartwright: I love
• 50:44
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: it! Like thinking about without the te reo Māori in our Māori language, realizing that, you know, like we can step into ourselves in a space where we can understand and hear.
• 51:02
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: I realized that too, even with like with te reo Māori, because as I've learned, as I've gone on this journey, I've realized that what was translating before was often just felt.
• 51:15
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: It's just a feeling.
• 51:16
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: And so recognizing that I'm like, Ooh, we can do that more so as well in our everyday lives.
• 51:24
  Kylie Aroha Fifield: So that's pretty cool.
• 51:28
  Tracy Cartwright: Yeah, beautiful.
• 51:30
  Tracy Cartwright: I look forward to seeing more of this right and how this can be.
• 51:36
  Tracy Cartwright: Touching more lives in New Zealand and obviously around the world but this is what you and I are part of a community that we're our goal our intention is to create community and allow people to find the healing here in New Zealand.
• 51:52
  Tracy Cartwright: Beautiful Kylie, thank you so much for your time and the beams of wisdom that are coming out from your crown.
• 52:03
  Tracy Cartwright: Oh, that's so funny.
• 52:05
  Tracy Cartwright: It's been lovely to have you here and yeah, thank you.
• 52:10
  Tracy Cartwright: Thanks for taking the time to be with us.
• 52:13
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you for having me.
• 52:16
  Tracy Cartwright: Thank you for listening and remember to head over to tracycartwright.co .nz and sign up for the free intention meditation for 2025.
• 52:25
  Tracy Cartwright: Remember to have fun and be kind to yourself.
• 52:29
  Tracy Cartwright: Ka kite.
• 52:30
  Tracy Cartwright: Head over to Instagram and tell me what's resonated for you with this episode.
• 52:34
  Tracy Cartwright: You'll find me at tracy .cartwright.
• 52:38
  Tracy Cartwright: That's tracy with no e.
• 52:40
  Tracy Cartwright: Or head over to my website, tracycartwright .co .nz and receive a free audio with the gift from your ancestors.
• 52:51
  Tracy Cartwright: So until next time, be kind to yourself and have fun doing it.