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Bonus IMPROV - The Tenderness and Care That You Put Into the Melons · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:14
  Yeah.
• 0:15
  Bonus.
• 0:16
  Improv.
• 0:17
  Yeah.
• 0:18
  Did that sound robotic?
• 0:20
  Oh, were you going for robotic?
• 0:21
  I don't know.
• 0:21
  I was trying to go for...
• 0:24
  Welcome to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:26
  I have no affect to my voice.
• 0:27
  Oh, okay.
• 0:28
  There it is.
• 0:28
  There's a little robot.
• 0:29
  Welcome to Very Fine Friends bonus improv.
• 0:33
  Ooh, I'm attracted to robots.
• 0:35
  This is something I'm learning about myself.
• 0:38
  Well, I'm going to ruin it by talking normal again.
• 0:41
  No, flaccid.
• 0:45
  Joe, can we get a suggestion, please?
• 0:48
  Yes.
• 0:49
  Thank you.
• 0:51
  Thank you.
• 0:52
  Thank you.
• 0:53
  your suggestion is godson wait did you say godson or god send godson i'm somebody's godson
• 1:07
  i'm not i i have a godson i have two godsons actually i would choose you you're trustworthy
• 1:15
  thank you i feel like oh i thought you meant you'd choose me to be your godmother
• 1:22
  well that too
• 1:24
  we should be able to do that as adults
• 1:28
  probably can
• 1:29
  no I don't know if anyone's ever checked it's probably fine
• 1:32
  no but I mean like
• 1:32
  when adults get baptized
• 1:36
  do they have godparents
• 1:38
  as an adult you should be able to be like
• 1:42
  I'd like you to be my godfather
• 1:43
  or whatever
• 1:44
  yeah
• 1:45
  why not
• 1:46
  we just started a new business I think
• 1:49
  business
• 1:51
  somebody goes to a company to get their godfather makes it official we have certificates and
• 1:55
  everything um at my godparents house when i was growing up they had this kitchen art that was like
• 2:04
  a probably a 3d because it wasn't just a picture it like stuck out from the wall yeah and it had
• 2:09
  it said like farm fresh eggs on it or something like that or maybe it had no words i don't know
• 2:14
  but there was like a chicken on it and then underneath the chicken was like a like a wooden
• 2:20
  base like a square and it had fake eggs in it and i thought it was the coolest thing and i remember
• 2:26
  every time i was over there i'd be like hey are those eggs real and my godmother would be like
• 2:32
  no like every time like stop asking they're not real and then i found out years later she got rid
• 2:40
  of it and i'm like why didn't you give it to me you know i love that thing
• 2:45
  I'm sorry.
• 2:50
  That same thing happened to me with a doll house.
• 2:54
  One of my dad aunts who very old had a really nice like very expensive dollhouse And I was like I love miniatures So I was like I love your dollhouse I think I even was like can I have it when you die
• 3:08
  And she was like, yeah.
• 3:10
  And then I didn't get it.
• 3:13
  Well, did some did she give it to somebody else?
• 3:15
  I'm sure you don't just throw a dollhouse away.
• 3:18
  Well, I mean, was it just like the stuff that's in the house?
• 3:20
  Like people get they took care of it.
• 3:22
  They probably picked it over.
• 3:23
  there's a lot of
• 3:24
  grabby grabby
• 3:28
  in my fammy fammy
• 3:29
  but still she didn't put a
• 3:31
  when she was alive she didn't put a post-it
• 3:34
  on it that said for Francis
• 3:36
  when I die
• 3:36
  that feels like one on her like if you put your lunch
• 3:40
  what if she did and someone was like
• 3:41
  oh yeah that's true
• 3:43
  not on my watch
• 3:44
  gay boy
• 3:46
  I'm not gay
• 3:48
  yeah
• 3:50
  I'm sorry that
• 3:53
  happened to you thank you i'm healed and now improv
• 4:00
  i am i'm so sorry i'm so sorry to bother you oh it's okay it's okay um i just want i just want
• 4:14
  you to know that um i this is my my favorite sprouts i love the sprouts uh and i think
• 4:22
  particularly your section, the produce section is my favorite produce section I've ever been in.
• 4:29
  I think you're doing a wonderful job. Thank you. That means a lot. Um, and I just want you to know
• 4:34
  that you are now my godfather. I have chosen you. So are you sure? I, I see the way the tenderness
• 4:49
  and care that you put into the melons and the, the organic section is always perfectly stocked.
• 5:02
  Oh, and by the way, I absolutely, my favorite thing in the whole world is walking around the
• 5:07
  produce section. And then I hear the little thunder noises and then all the misters come
• 5:11
  on. I love that you do that. And I just feel like the way that I feel around your yams,
• 5:19
  I, I know I can trust you.
• 5:29
  Thank you.
• 5:31
  Hey, hey, get in here.
• 5:33
  You're my first.
• 5:35
  Oh, you don't have, you don't have any God kids?
• 5:38
  No.
• 5:39
  Oh.
• 5:40
  No one's ever trusted me.
• 5:43
  That's insane to me.
• 5:44
  I'm going to do right by you.
• 5:46
  Thank you.
• 5:47
  No matter what you need, just call Papa Greg.
• 5:51
  I knew this was going to be the right choice.
• 5:53
  Put your name, by the way.
• 5:57
  Therese I putting it in my phone Angel God angel Yep there it is I typed it And you just went in my phone
• 6:10
  It's Papa Greg.
• 6:12
  I like that.
• 6:12
  This is so great.
• 6:13
  Oh, wow.
• 6:15
  And to think I was going to go home and never mind.
• 6:22
  Rearrange your home produce.
• 6:24
  Rearrange something.
• 6:25
  therese
• 6:26
  anything you can say anything to me papa greg
• 6:32
  okay i feel like i can admit this to you
• 6:36
  i'm not actually responsible for the thunder noises
• 6:40
  what it's a track that's played it's on repeat it's actually not even my
• 6:44
  department that's the audio department
• 6:45
  that's that's probably my favorite part of the produce section well it
• 6:51
  definitely enhances my work um i love that i love it especially living in such a in a desert like we
• 6:57
  do it makes me feel like oh i'm living in a place with diverse climate that was that's not you i
• 7:03
  thought that was you well no it's it's me adjacent yeah wait same thing with the water but you're not
• 7:11
  responsible for the water either it's connected to the audio track when the water goes off the
• 7:15
  sound goes off. I can't do that. I'm Greg, a wizard. Papa, I thought, no, I came to you.
• 7:33
  I trusted you. I feel, I feel like you've betrayed me a little bit. I can't take this
• 7:40
  back. Once you officially declare someone your godfather, that's it. You only get one
• 7:44
  shot at that yeah i was i wasn't trying to pull one over i didn't even ask for this i'm just i
• 7:49
  know i know you didn't but i feel like if it's in the produce department it should be the pro
• 7:53
  they didn't tell me audio was something different they didn't tell me the water was connected to the
• 7:57
  audio where's the audio guy i want to meet the audio guy no he's not he can't what i'm your
• 8:02
  godfather i'd protect you i guess i'm stuck with you now stuck well hey what's up greg sorry i was
• 8:11
  out of the audio and sound effects room for a little bit because I was just I felt like there
• 8:16
  was a child nearby that was about to get hit by a car so I just I ran out into the street and there
• 8:21
  was so I saved him no big deal whoa no policies to let him get hit uh anyway this is this is my
• 8:28
  goddaughter Therese I oh yeah goddaughter I didn't I didn't know about you I didn't know
• 8:34
  Oh, I mean, correct.
• 8:36
  I'll do respect.
• 8:37
  If I were that this young lady's godfather, I would call her a god angel.
• 8:42
  That's that's how I would put her in my phone.
• 8:44
  Oh, it sounds so cool coming from you.
• 8:47
  I said the same thing, didn't I?
• 8:50
  Wait, hold on.
• 8:51
  I got to do something real quick.
• 8:54
  Oh, I feel like I'm in a different place.
• 8:58
  All me.
• 8:58
  It was all me.
• 8:59
  Oh notice how it makes my work look good Thanks man I thought it was you making your work look good That why I chose you I guess The store is an interlocking system of complementary technologies
• 9:12
  But it's not you that's doing it.
• 9:15
  Yeah, I don't put the yams there either.
• 9:17
  What?
• 9:18
  Wait, those aren't even your yams?
• 9:21
  No.
• 9:22
  What do you do, Papa?
• 9:24
  Wait, so Greg made you think that he works here?
• 9:30
  He just bought one of our employee shirts online off eBay,
• 9:35
  and he just kind of comes here and stands around.
• 9:38
  What is going on?
• 9:40
  Teresa, I know this is uncomfortable.
• 9:44
  Baba, what is happening?
• 9:48
  I swear to you, I'm going to make this right.
• 9:50
  I'm going to apply here.
• 9:51
  i'm gonna learn how to work the audio system in case he needs a day off
• 9:56
  oh great my godfather's is the understudy for what's your name sir steve oh steve's understudy
• 10:05
  oh god that's so cool too with a v a v in a name is so cool it's two s-t-e-v-v-e no s-t-e-v-e-v
• 10:15
  and the one at the end is silent.
• 10:17
  Oh.
• 10:18
  A hard V and a silent V?
• 10:21
  I have a hard G and a soft G.
• 10:24
  Soft G is for losers, Greg.
• 10:27
  Don't talk to your godfather that way.
• 10:30
  My jawed father?
• 10:33
  How does that soft G sound now?
• 10:36
  I can tell you're upset.
• 10:38
  Let's just get you an employee's shirt and calm you down.
• 10:42
  This is my life now.
• 10:43
  I've bound it to you
• 10:46
  You're going to be really grateful one day
• 10:49
  Young lady
• 10:51
  Yeah
• 10:52
  Yeah
• 10:53
  When?
• 10:55
  Well, I'm not a mind reader
• 10:56
  I'm not a mind reader
• 10:58
  Don't look at me like that
• 11:02
  Therese
• 11:03
  What?
• 11:04
  We're not going to do this
• 11:06
  You're my godchild and I'm your godfather
• 11:08
  And you're going to help me
• 11:10
  Steal this produce
• 11:13
  you're stealing it now
• 11:16
  it's time I told you an
• 11:18
  unconvenient truth
• 11:19
  sorry
• 11:22
  that was the knockoff Al Gore book
• 11:24
  my middle name
• 11:27
  is Judas
• 11:31
  is that also spelled with a G
• 11:37
  that's Russhoft
• 11:39
  g-u-d-a-s yeah okay can i um just have one question to ask you yeah are those eggs real
• 11:53
  see