Latest / Mooney's Mythic Podcast / The mourning moon and The Wynter Reign

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The mourning moon and The Wynter Reign · Mooney's Mythic Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh hello and welcome to Mooney's Mythic Podcast.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: I hope that you are as excited to be here as I am because I'm totally thrilled to
0:11
SPEAKER_00: be here and I've got some rich and warm company here with me but I just want to
0:16
SPEAKER_00: tell you before we open into this very room I just want to say that this podcast is
0:22
SPEAKER_00: sponsored by the moon
0:23
SPEAKER_00: because I was preparing this podcast, ruminating, thinking and dreaming about this podcast.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: And the moon has been such good company in the journey.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: So I've been opening my books.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, they're one good thing.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: One of the good things about being called Sarah Mooney is that people do buy books about the moon.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: So I've been having a read about the moon in my in my books.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: And I'll tell you a little bit more about that later.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: But I have with me such good company in this acid folk duo, The Winter Rain.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: They are in my living room, guys, Marty and Ali.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: We are here and they are going to play some arresting, tender and delightful music for you.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Really be ready to be touched.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: So if you're rushing about listening to this pod,
1:15
SPEAKER_00: you might want to go back to an earlier pod and put one of those on and just...
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Just wait until you've plumped up your cushions and got yourself a hot drink and
1:24
SPEAKER_00: you can really rest your bones because this is a resting your bones podcast.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: And you may remember if you tuned in that I had Eloise Pilkington on last week and
1:37
SPEAKER_00: she talked about the poet Sappho.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to read a little poem, a short poem.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: It's not a little poem by any means.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: A short poem by Sappho and
1:48
SPEAKER_00: Sappho died 570 BC and she was from Crete and that's where the poem starts.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: Leave Crete.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: Return.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: Come here.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: Come to the holy place.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Come to the sacred grove.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: Your altars are smoking with incense.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Cold water sings through the fruited trees.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: Everything is shaded under the bower of roses,
2:23
SPEAKER_00: and from the shimmering radiance of leaves,
2:25
SPEAKER_00: an enchanted sleep drops down.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: Here is the meadow of flowers, where horses graze and a soft wind gently breathes.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: Come, Ariadne, pour your nectar into our golden cups.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: In grace, make the libation.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Bring your Melissa to life.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: And Melissa is another word for honey.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: And I really felt touched by this poem because I think it's really the time of the
3:05
SPEAKER_00: year where we have to really love
3:09
SPEAKER_00: what's going on inside of ourselves because we are going deep inside of ourselves.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: So let's all prepare our spaces as if we are readying for the greatest of goddesses
3:23
SPEAKER_00: to arrive and let us activate,
3:27
SPEAKER_00: remember and taste the divine nectar of ourselves,
3:32
SPEAKER_00: the honey,
3:33
SPEAKER_00: the Melissa of ourselves.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: And so to
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Help us do that.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: We have got the winter rain here.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: Hi.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: Hello.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Hello.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Marty and Ali there are scrumptious is the word I want to use.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: Oh, stop it.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: What would you like to do?
3:54
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to sing or talk?
3:55
SPEAKER_00: How do you groove?
3:57
SPEAKER_00: We do a number.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: Do a number.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: Go on, you do a number.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Ready?
4:04
Yes.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: The autumn fall is drawing mirror The darker nights are closing in We're shutters
5:18
SPEAKER_02: away for winter Waiting for springtime to begin
5:29
SPEAKER_02: Spring sees the rebirth of all have to die.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: Spring sees the rebirth of all have to die.
6:04
SPEAKER_02: The night will come when souls will rise To be remembered and recalled The crimes
6:19
SPEAKER_02: committed now remembered And the story ages on
6:31
SPEAKER_02: Springs is the rebirth of all left to die.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: Springs is the rebirth of all left to die.
7:50
SPEAKER_02: Spring sees the rebirth of all I have to die.
7:57
SPEAKER_02: Spring sees the rebirth of all I have to die.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Controlling forces have been weakened But those at sea cannot be taught They spread
8:40
SPEAKER_02: their fear amongst the weakest For some vessels will not be sought
9:35
SPEAKER_00: totally enchanting thank you totally enchanting um that's my i just moved the
9:42
SPEAKER_00: microphone because i always feel a bit paranoid that we're not catching except when
9:46
SPEAKER_00: i feel so touched i just think how can this be recording how can this possibly be
9:54
SPEAKER_00: actually how can we possibly capture this um with technology
9:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: Well, I was really feeling then kind of bent over.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I saw like a very old version of myself bent over and holding on to these big boulders and rocks.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: And I had this big kind of something on my back, this heavy thing on my back.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: And, oh, I just feel like I...
10:30
SPEAKER_00: clinging somehow onto things that are not going to help me through the winter.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: Maybe a part of myself that I'm clinging onto.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's youth.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's some kind of identity that I'm really fixed with.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: But that song just helped me to loosen up a little bit.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: Can you tell us a bit about it?
10:58
SPEAKER_03: Well,
10:58
SPEAKER_03: firstly,
10:59
SPEAKER_03: that's interesting you said that because,
11:03
SPEAKER_03: as I said to you earlier,
11:04
SPEAKER_03: I've got type 1 diabetes and about 15 years ago I looked up,
11:09
SPEAKER_03: you know,
11:10
SPEAKER_03: everything's got like an esoteric meaning.
11:13
SPEAKER_03: And I looked up diabetes and whatever it was,
11:17
SPEAKER_03: and I mean this might just be someone's interpretation,
11:19
SPEAKER_03: it said longing for things that could have been.
11:24
SPEAKER_03: And I thought about
11:26
SPEAKER_03: that is so apt for a lot of things that I've ever,
11:33
SPEAKER_03: but that song is about,
11:34
SPEAKER_03: it was written this time of year,
11:37
SPEAKER_03: about two years ago for,
11:42
SPEAKER_03: kind of in,
11:44
SPEAKER_03: we went on that witch's walk,
11:46
SPEAKER_03: you know,
11:47
SPEAKER_03: they walk around the town of the places where people were tried
11:58
SPEAKER_03: And the names were read out of people who were...
12:03
SPEAKER_03: And I just thought there's never really been any official apology from the
12:11
SPEAKER_03: institution that did that.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: And it's something I've always felt quite strongly about.
12:17
SPEAKER_03: So I wrote that about it.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
12:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so it was in honour of the...
12:25
SPEAKER_03: the persecuted during the witch trials.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: How does it feel to sing it?
12:32
SPEAKER_01: I always love singing.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: Marty's lyrics are... I find them really moving, actually, most of the time.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, absolutely.
12:42
SPEAKER_01: Kind of sing it from here, hopefully.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: From my heart.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: So when Ali said here, she's touching her heart, not, you know, not something else.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: Singing it from my heart.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: Just to clarify.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: So this moon, my moon book tells me, is the morning moon.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: And we've had the harvest moon where we've gathered everything up.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: And this is the morning moon where we we grieve our losses.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: So it's really it's really apt that you sang that song.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: And so we grieve our losses and we we work out what we can let go of.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: And we we kind of because we're going inside and maybe we've been out,
13:26
SPEAKER_00: out,
13:26
SPEAKER_00: out in the summer and we haven't been tending to the to the inside so much.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: then maybe there's a little bit of housework to be done on the kind of soul realm.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: And yes, so I've been thinking about this and I keep hearing this song that somebody sang in ceremony.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: And I hope that there's a listener out there that can say to me, oh, I know who wrote that song.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: I know who sang that song because I can't remember who it is,
13:53
SPEAKER_00: but it has been haunting me and helping me these last days and nights.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to sing it a little.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: And when I sing it,
14:01
SPEAKER_00: Dear,
14:02
SPEAKER_00: deep,
14:03
SPEAKER_00: beautiful listeners,
14:05
SPEAKER_00: dear pod fans,
14:07
SPEAKER_00: dear lovers,
14:08
SPEAKER_00: dear friends,
14:10
SPEAKER_00: just let's see if there's anything we can let go of,
14:15
SPEAKER_00: if there's anything we can soften.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: Loosen, loosen baby, you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Let go, let go, let go.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: Can you feel that in your shoulders?
14:36
SPEAKER_00: Just if you can just drop your shoulders, move your shoulders, just letting it go.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: Loosen, loosen, baby.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: Let go, let go, let go.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: Can you feel that?
15:02
SPEAKER_00: Because we're witches and because we're pagans and because we're storytellers,
15:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to sing it three times,
15:08
SPEAKER_00: although I don't want to.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to sing it three times.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: because it's the magic number.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: Loosen, loosen, baby.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: I can hear you singing with me.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Let it go.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: Let go, let go, let go.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: Ah, yeah, it's time to let go, to just really shake off
15:42
SPEAKER_00: and put down and grieve and grieve the disappointments of the year so that we can
15:51
SPEAKER_00: really kind of polish ourselves off like jewels deep deep deep inside for this
15:57
SPEAKER_00: winter for this winter time going deep inside and i'm um i'm going to read you a
16:04
SPEAKER_00: poem by alice oswald it's a prayer
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Here I work in the hollow of God's hand with time bent round into my reach.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: I touch the circle of the earth.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: I throw and catch the sun and moon by turns into my mind.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: I sense the length of it from end to end.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: I sway me gently in my flesh and each point of the process changes as I watch the flowers come.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: The rain follows the wind.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: And all I ask is this.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: And you can see how Father's soul,
16:44
SPEAKER_00: when it goes under flesh,
16:46
SPEAKER_00: is not a soul,
16:47
SPEAKER_00: is small and creatureish,
16:49
SPEAKER_00: that every day the sun comes silently to set my hands to work,
16:54
SPEAKER_00: and that the moon turns and returns to me when it's done.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: It's all she wants.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: It's all she wants that the sun comes silently to her and sets her hands to work,
17:06
SPEAKER_00: and that the moon turns and returns and meets her when it's done.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: It's as simple as that.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: The sun and the moon giving us rhythm, rising and falling, sleeping and waking.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: Can you play us another song?
17:28
SPEAKER_00: This is fun, isn't it?
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, capo time.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: Familiar sound, clicking capo.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: Look for a flame, look for life, once left the same.
18:49
SPEAKER_02: The sound of the gallows, the sound of the crowd, the sound swallows the relief of the loud.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: The innocence sway The crowd lives another day Not a sorry in sight Not a word to hear they say
20:01
SPEAKER_02: The innocents sway The crowd lives another day Not a sorry in sight Not a what dare
20:14
SPEAKER_02: they say Anyone but me they cry
20:28
SPEAKER_02: Point away and tell the lie Anyone but me today Anyone you'll hear them say The
20:41
SPEAKER_02: innocence sway The crowd lives another day Not a sorry in sight Not a word do they
20:54
SPEAKER_02: say
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I feel the temperature in the room has dropped.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: The sound of the gallows, that's the name of that song, isn't it?
21:29
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: What inspired that?
21:36
SPEAKER_03: All three of these songs tonight have got a similar theme.
21:40
SPEAKER_03: That is...
21:44
SPEAKER_03: Kind of highlighting a classic human trait that sadly still exists,
21:49
SPEAKER_03: where all the time the finger's pointing at someone else.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: and you've got crowd mentality, there's like a relief that it's not... Do you know what I mean?
22:04
SPEAKER_03: When you see some of the old folk horror movies where you've got maybe a hanging of
22:10
SPEAKER_03: a witch or something in there and you've got the crowd jeering at them,
22:13
SPEAKER_03: they're all stood there secretly thinking,
22:17
SPEAKER_03: thank God it's not me.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's fear for you, isn't it?
22:20
SPEAKER_03: And all the time they're pointing away, it's not them.
22:26
SPEAKER_03: So,
22:27
SPEAKER_03: yeah,
22:27
SPEAKER_03: and you still see that sort of behaviour goes on now,
22:31
SPEAKER_03: even in blatantly,
22:33
SPEAKER_03: you know,
22:34
SPEAKER_03: like people within the government who are committing all kinds of holy misdemeanours,
22:39
SPEAKER_03: shall we say,
22:40
SPEAKER_03: and they're quite happy to point the finger at little Johnny who's doing an hour's
22:44
SPEAKER_03: gardening for Mrs Smith while signing on,
22:46
SPEAKER_03: you know.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of flames.
22:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, it's point the finger in the opposite to divert.
22:53
SPEAKER_03: So it's got that theme going through it.
22:55
SPEAKER_03: But again, essentially, it's about the witch trials.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: And what I know is that when I'm blaming, because I do it, it's easy to do.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: When I blame,
23:08
SPEAKER_00: it's these places that the morning moon is talking about,
23:12
SPEAKER_00: of going deep inside and finding out.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: Because someone's blaming because they're frightened,
23:18
SPEAKER_00: and whilst they're blaming,
23:19
SPEAKER_00: they're not holding the frightened place.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: So it's like if there's blame anywhere,
23:25
SPEAKER_00: that's a signal that there's something on the inside that needs tending to.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: And just recently,
23:32
SPEAKER_00: I've been when I when I feel my inner child activated,
23:39
SPEAKER_00: I've had a very red faced kind of nine year old,
23:42
SPEAKER_00: very angry,
23:43
SPEAKER_00: raw nine year old inside.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: And I'm always asking, where's the adult?
23:48
SPEAKER_00: There's always an adult.
23:50
SPEAKER_00: if there's a child there's always an adult so just trying to bring in you know
23:55
SPEAKER_00: support so that i feel safe enough that i i'm not going to have to point the finger
24:00
SPEAKER_00: out you know i'm able i feel safe enough to say this is my responsibility i'm i'm
24:05
SPEAKER_00: the adult here and i'm going to take responsibility for this it's a it's a
24:10
SPEAKER_00: different journey you know um because i think
24:15
SPEAKER_00: getting away with things and covering tracks.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't, you know, it's a very school thing, isn't it?
24:21
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't me.
24:22
SPEAKER_00: It was him.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: Just keep me out of trouble.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: So I've been looking at stories around these themes and I've been trying to think,
24:32
SPEAKER_00: oh,
24:33
SPEAKER_00: maybe I need to write my own story about this,
24:36
SPEAKER_00: which I've been dreaming about.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: But this, there's this Caroline Duffy story called The Princess's Blankets and she's cold.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: She's freezing cold and the king says he'll give half his kingdom to anyone that can make her warm.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: And so people come to the palace with massive hot water bottles and thick blankets
24:56
SPEAKER_00: and all different ways of making her warm,
24:58
SPEAKER_00: hot chocolate.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, what's your favourite way of getting warm?
25:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, favourite way of getting warm.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: Mine's a hot milky drink, I think.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: There's something comforting about that.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: I went to,
25:13
SPEAKER_00: in one of the pods,
25:14
SPEAKER_00: I talk about going to a cacao ceremony with a Mexican Toltex and they got us to
25:19
SPEAKER_00: hold the hot chocolate right,
25:22
SPEAKER_00: nestle it into our hearts so that the warmth of the cacao could warm our hearts and
25:26
SPEAKER_00: did a visualisation.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: It was so beautiful.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, it didn't work on the princess.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: How do you get warm?
25:33
SPEAKER_03: We went to one of them, didn't we?
25:35
SPEAKER_03: Ali's shaking her head.
25:36
SPEAKER_03: I said, don't say it.
25:38
SPEAKER_03: That's another story.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: That's another story.
25:40
SPEAKER_03: It was just like, I mean, it was like getting fast around.
25:44
SPEAKER_03: You know, like in a cafe when everyone's gone and there's a little bit left in the bottom of each cup.
25:49
SPEAKER_03: It was like that.
25:50
SPEAKER_03: Because it was cold.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: It didn't warm up.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: No.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: That might be why it didn't work.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: I think, I think,
26:01
SPEAKER_03: physically i guess a nice thick pair of socks usually because it's my feet that get
26:05
SPEAKER_00: cold i knew you were going to say socks yeah yeah so she was brought bed socks and
26:10
SPEAKER_00: wool socks and hiking socks and biking socks and all kinds of socks but they
26:14
SPEAKER_03: nothing kept her warm it's always my feet and hands that go cold yeah and then that
26:18
SPEAKER_00: gets in your chest and then i'm like oh i can see you oh if i couldn't get marty i
26:24
SPEAKER_00: would nip you some socks right now but i didn't work for the princess and um
26:29
SPEAKER_00: And they were almost going to give up when this man,
26:32
SPEAKER_00: I think in the book,
26:32
SPEAKER_00: I've got this,
26:33
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't find the book,
26:34
SPEAKER_00: but I remember,
26:36
SPEAKER_00: I think he's described as having a nose like an aubergine.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, yeah, and that's...
26:42
SPEAKER_00: you know just like that one line just tells you he's not the goody in a very black
26:46
SPEAKER_00: and white fairy story anyway he says how cold are you and she doesn't like the look
26:50
SPEAKER_00: of him so she says i'm as as as cold as the earth and he brings he walks away and
26:56
SPEAKER_00: then he brings back all of the earth and a big blanket and he throws it on top of
27:00
SPEAKER_00: her and then she says i'm as cold as the forest and i'm as cold as the sea and as
27:05
SPEAKER_00: cold as the mountains and each time he brings his blankets back and
27:08
SPEAKER_00: throws them on top of her until she's like under these huge blankets with the earth
27:13
SPEAKER_00: just bearing down the sea slopping over her and and the trees all spiking around in
27:19
SPEAKER_00: the mountains cutting her like glass and she can't even speak because they're so
27:23
SPEAKER_00: heavy but she's not warm and he goes and there's just agony and
27:31
SPEAKER_00: in the palace for a long time and then a person comes and he plays the flute
27:41
SPEAKER_00: recorder and she starts to feel the music and through feeling the music her heart
27:49
SPEAKER_00: becomes to warm and as her heart warms then from the heart out the blankets slip
27:55
SPEAKER_00: off and
27:55
SPEAKER_00: Whilst the blankets are on her,
27:56
SPEAKER_00: the fishermen have got no sea,
27:59
SPEAKER_00: there's no trees,
28:00
SPEAKER_00: there's nowhere to bury,
28:01
SPEAKER_00: they're dead.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Life has stopped still all around.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: And then as her heart begins to warm and the blankets slip off, life returns to normal.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: And that's my prayer for us,
28:12
SPEAKER_00: this pre-winter time,
28:16
SPEAKER_00: that we can really just let go and let go and let go and let go so that we can find
28:22
SPEAKER_00: our rhythm in this winter time.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: And the talking of letting go, I've had an editing lesson, guys.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm not putting it into practice yet because I've got some fiddling and some learning to do.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: But I've had an editing lesson.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: It's the end of an era of the unpolished mystic podcasts coming up.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to start lightly editing them.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: I know I've had, you see, I would edit that out.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: That's just, you know, that would be gone.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: But I'm not going to edit them.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: I have had some concerned people saying, I love how it is.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: I love all the noises and everything.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: We're not talking.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to do a big chop.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: It's not going to be like listening to a Brazilian.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: I promise you it's going to be more like plucking out a few chin hairs.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: You know, that's all just the real chin hairy, like the ones I remember.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to tell the story, but it's just too much for this moment.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: But you can say to me, what was that story if you see me in the street?
29:21
SPEAKER_00: And there's this someone advised to me that there's this app that is like a noise cancelling app.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, oh, maybe I'll just do that.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: You just run it through.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: They said, and it just sort of smooths all the sound out.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: But when I spoke to the editor, he said, oh, well, it's A.I.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: So it can't really tell the difference between sort of a good noise and a bad noise.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: It's not a human being.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, wow, would that be like listening to someone with six fingers or something like that?
29:48
SPEAKER_00: You just don't know.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: So I'm steering well clear of that,
29:52
SPEAKER_00: but I'm going to start doing some lightly polished editing so that I can stand up
30:02
SPEAKER_00: against these podcasters
30:05
SPEAKER_00: that are taking themselves seriously.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: So I can take these podcasts a bit more seriously.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: And as we went to the gallows then,
30:15
SPEAKER_00: I've got a tin here of,
30:19
SPEAKER_00: they are mostly haikus that were written at the moment of a Buddhist monk's death.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: There's a practice where Zen Buddhist monks, they spend their whole life
30:34
SPEAKER_00: preparing for this moment so that they're sentient enough to write a haiku at the
30:38
SPEAKER_00: moment of their death and there's a couple of other things um in there that i wrote
30:42
SPEAKER_00: them all out for um a play that i was doing uh so would you choose one one each for
30:49
SPEAKER_00: me and i'll read them out oh good i'm glad you said that you can you can read them
30:55
SPEAKER_03: out no no no no that's why i said i was glad you did because i'm dyslexic i can't
31:00
SPEAKER_03: read
31:03
SPEAKER_03: I'd make a right mess of it, too.
31:06
SPEAKER_03: What does yours say, Ellie?
31:07
SPEAKER_01: It says, the earth is fragrant with leaves on my way home.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: I think that's one of my favourite ones.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: The earth is fragrant with leaves on my way home.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful, isn't it?
31:18
SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: And this one says, the only truth that interests me is a paradox.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: And it's so true, isn't it?
31:26
SPEAKER_00: Everything has got, you know, every death contains birth.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: Every birth contains death.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: I have to remind myself of that all the time.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: Let's have another song.
31:39
Okay.
31:41
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
31:46
SPEAKER_03: Similar thing.
31:48
SPEAKER_03: Great.
31:49
SPEAKER_03: This one is actually, without wanting to sound too grim, this is about
31:57
SPEAKER_03: Kind of the point of you stood there.
32:01
SPEAKER_03: The first line is, I gave to you silver, I gave to you gold.
32:05
SPEAKER_03: You've repaid with stories that should never be told.
32:09
SPEAKER_03: And that's about the, maybe you had the witch in the village or the little community.
32:15
SPEAKER_03: and they would offer their herbs and knowledge for healing and when the people turn
32:22
SPEAKER_03: on them they come up with stories that just should never have been you know lies
32:28
SPEAKER_03: basically and so the silver and gold is the herbs and the knowledge that they
32:32
SPEAKER_03: offered and what they got repaid with which was a rope around their neck pretty
32:39
SPEAKER_03: much and it's about the moment when you got the rope around your neck and you're
32:42
SPEAKER_03: looking out
32:48
SPEAKER_03: on the injustice of what is about to happen, really.
32:54
SPEAKER_03: And there's a line, I think, is it the second verse?
32:56
SPEAKER_03: I can't remember.
32:59
SPEAKER_03: There's a row of cedar trees as you come into Glastonbury.
33:04
SPEAKER_03: And when we used to,
33:07
SPEAKER_03: coming years ago,
33:08
SPEAKER_03: when we were looking for places to buy,
33:11
SPEAKER_03: we used to see the row of cedars.
33:15
SPEAKER_03: and they're mentioned in the song as well.
33:17
SPEAKER_01: It's welcome as home because it's always felt like home.
33:19
SPEAKER_03: The roar of the cedars welcomes you home.
33:23
SPEAKER_03: It's basically and then the rest of the lyrics will be self-explanatory if you know that part about it.
33:31
SPEAKER_03: Oh don't go to sleep.
33:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm not going to fall asleep my father.
33:56
SPEAKER_02: I gave to you silver, I gave to you gold.
34:05
SPEAKER_02: You repaid with stories that should never be taught.
34:15
SPEAKER_02: Standing here
34:20
SPEAKER_02: Looking out across this land The row of the seedless welcomes me home
34:46
SPEAKER_02: Reflect on my thoughts I don't feel so alone Standing here Looking out across this land
35:41
SPEAKER_02: Looking at the cross this land You gave to me sorrow and left me to mourn
36:07
SPEAKER_02: and join with the one whose heart had been torn.
36:12
SPEAKER_02: Standing here, looking out the cross,
36:46
SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: I felt then my desire to walk the land,
36:53
SPEAKER_00: then to pilgrimage in the land,
36:55
SPEAKER_00: and to walk the land in the changing of the seasons,
36:57
SPEAKER_00: and to walk in the crisp wintertime.
37:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I felt really strong.
37:04
SPEAKER_00: You're performing soon, aren't you?
37:06
SPEAKER_00: I hate that word, performing.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: It makes me feel...
37:12
SPEAKER_00: You're playing.
37:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're doing a performance.
37:18
SPEAKER_03: When is it?
37:19
SPEAKER_03: Saturday the 23rd.
37:19
SPEAKER_03: Saturday the 23rd.
37:21
SPEAKER_03: 777 Silver Street.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: In Glastonbury.
37:27
SPEAKER_03: In Glastonbury.
37:28
SPEAKER_03: And what time does it start?
37:29
SPEAKER_03: Seven.
37:30
SPEAKER_00: Seven?
37:31
SPEAKER_00: Brilliant.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: All the sevens.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: All the sevens.
37:33
SPEAKER_00: Great.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: It's a gorgeous venue.
37:36
SPEAKER_03: It is our favourite place to play.
37:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: I was really happy to be storytelling there the other week.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's lovely.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's a really gorgeous place.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: And if you're free,
37:48
SPEAKER_00: I'd suggest that you get yourselves down there and listen to this music,
37:54
SPEAKER_00: which touches the tender places.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: I feel some very tender places in me soothed when you play.
38:00
SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
38:03
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: And I was at 777 a couple of weeks ago.
38:08
SPEAKER_00: It might have been last week.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
38:10
SPEAKER_00: Time's odd.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: And I bumped into my friend,
38:14
SPEAKER_00: Ben Platt-Mills,
38:15
SPEAKER_00: and he suggested that he could come on the pod at some point and interview me,
38:21
SPEAKER_00: which I thought was a great idea because I love talking about myself.
38:29
SPEAKER_00: I think we're going to talk about... No one.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: I think we're going to talk about working in...
38:36
SPEAKER_00: I worked in a care home for adults with disabilities over lockdown and how that was
38:41
SPEAKER_00: working over lockdown,
38:43
SPEAKER_00: I think.
38:43
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe being dyspraxic.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: We can talk about something.
38:46
SPEAKER_00: But it got me reading his book again.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: He wrote this brilliant book called Tell Me the Planets, which is about brain injury.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: It's called Tell Me the Planets, Stories of Brain Injury and What It Means to Survive.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: And I just read the prologue and it...
39:04
SPEAKER_00: For me, it was just such a beautiful example of someone's interior world, so I'm going to read it.
39:12
SPEAKER_00: It's a couple of pages.
39:15
SPEAKER_00: I picture a classroom.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: Its dimensions are like one I remember from primary school,
39:20
SPEAKER_00: but the light is different,
39:22
SPEAKER_00: reddish and somehow dark,
39:23
SPEAKER_00: as though the room sits inside a body.
39:26
SPEAKER_00: It is silent.
39:29
SPEAKER_00: There is the soft, bitter smell of pencil shavings.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: I know there would have been others here, but I can only see one person.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: He sits at his desk motionless.
39:38
SPEAKER_00: His head is dark and perfectly round, his small shoulders dressed in a thin white shirt.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: Moving closer, I kneel at the side of his desk.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: A ghost here.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: I watch as he carefully transcribes the statements that have been written on the
39:53
SPEAKER_00: blackboard into his copybook,
39:55
SPEAKER_00: and I begin to feel his thoughts.
39:59
SPEAKER_00: This almost certainly never happened.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: It is a memory that should not exist but I believe it to be true.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: A person may fly like a bird.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: The boy understands that this, like so much at school, is a kind of test.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: Like other tests, it has the structure of a trap.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: There is no way, perfectly, to know what is being asked.
40:23
SPEAKER_00: Humans may certainly fly.
40:25
SPEAKER_00: The boy knows that he has flown himself, that time as a baby, though he doesn't remember it.
40:31
SPEAKER_00: But the word like is troublesome, a hard little knot in the string of the sentence.
40:35
SPEAKER_00: like a bird may mean many things only some of which are true when applied to human
40:41
SPEAKER_00: flight by use of feathers by flapping in solitude without mechanical assistance but
40:48
SPEAKER_00: he also knows there is only one way forward with courage he writes sometimes true
40:57
SPEAKER_00: snakes are poisonous
41:00
SPEAKER_00: It is 1987, the boy is nine years old, but what this means he can't entirely say.
41:05
SPEAKER_00: Time for him has not yet distinguished itself from change,
41:09
SPEAKER_00: from the coursing of heat through his body,
41:11
SPEAKER_00: from the fresh custom of waking every day,
41:14
SPEAKER_00: the happy sting of air on his face and arms.
41:17
SPEAKER_00: There is, in a sense, no such thing as the boy as yet.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: He cannot yet himself be reliably described.
41:26
SPEAKER_00: When he thinks about a snake, of what are the boy's thoughts composed?
41:30
SPEAKER_00: Nobody knows.
41:32
SPEAKER_00: Every question has an answer.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: The children around him are quietly working.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: He sees one boy looking out of the classroom window.
41:42
SPEAKER_00: There are no answers out there, only earth and sun.
41:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes, these questions are designed to ensnare, but there is something about them he finds seductive.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: If he is silent, if he treads softly, he can move around each one and observe without disturbing it.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: There is a space in his mind for this and he is not made uncomfortable by the quietness required.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: The earth moves around the sun.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: each case he is tempted by twin but opposing rewards,
42:18
SPEAKER_00: that of answering truthfully,
42:20
SPEAKER_00: keeping faith with the extent of his own mind and that of answering correctly in
42:25
SPEAKER_00: the manner expected by his teacher.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: The earth moves around the sun.
42:31
SPEAKER_00: The answer expected by the teacher here is always true.
42:34
SPEAKER_00: There is one of those
42:40
SPEAKER_00: like the love of God, the sum of 1 plus 1.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: But he has read of other things in his father's books.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: The ageing of the solar system over millennia,
42:50
SPEAKER_00: the final collapse of the star at its centre,
42:54
SPEAKER_00: the engulfing and destruction of the inner planets and the falling away of those at
42:58
SPEAKER_00: the perimeter.
43:00
SPEAKER_00: He knows it's taking too long.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: He may not finish the test.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: This often happens.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: A human may turn into a stone.
43:12
SPEAKER_00: It has not occurred to the boy, how could it, that there's anything wrong with his hearing.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: He is aware of an imbalance, certainly.
43:19
SPEAKER_00: He's looked at his ears in the mirror at home,
43:21
SPEAKER_00: inserted a finger,
43:22
SPEAKER_00: cupped his hands to his head in order to funnel the sound of his voice,
43:25
SPEAKER_00: first to one ear,
43:27
SPEAKER_00: then to the other.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: The left one seems not to function as the other one does,
43:31
SPEAKER_00: but,
43:32
SPEAKER_00: he rationalises,
43:33
SPEAKER_00: people are either left or right-handed.
43:36
SPEAKER_00: It's only natural that they should be left or right-eared as well.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: will be years from now when he is told that most people's ears are the same.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: The leaves must fall from a tree.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: Standing next to the boy, forgetting what I know outside this dream, I see that his future is undecided.
43:59
SPEAKER_00: Anything might happen, nothing can be known.
44:03
SPEAKER_00: Nevertheless,
44:04
SPEAKER_00: there are things already in place,
44:06
SPEAKER_00: things that,
44:07
SPEAKER_00: though they cannot define him entirely,
44:10
SPEAKER_00: may predispose him to certain kinds of action or inaction,
44:15
SPEAKER_00: may with time prove persistent and be confirmed as the characteristics for which he
44:20
SPEAKER_00: is considered by others to be distinct,
44:23
SPEAKER_00: vivid,
44:24
SPEAKER_00: intractable.
44:27
SPEAKER_00: He is suspicious of his bodily urges,
44:29
SPEAKER_00: captivated by the patterns of his mind,
44:31
SPEAKER_00: relentlessly argumentative and pedantic to the point of banality.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: He is also sensitive, gentle, compassionate, conscientious and fiercely loyal.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: He has a highly developed sense of justice that can have come not from any teaching,
44:49
SPEAKER_00: but rather only from his own determination of the facts.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: He is unusually abstract.
44:56
SPEAKER_00: There are some things that cannot be reduced.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: He will not be spoken to as a child.
45:01
SPEAKER_00: He willingly accepts solitude over any kind of compromised companionship.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: Even as a nine-year-old, he is hard-minded.
45:11
SPEAKER_00: It's a long way off,
45:12
SPEAKER_00: but with hindsight,
45:13
SPEAKER_00: one can see those qualities that predisposed him to a career in computers,
45:17
SPEAKER_00: literacy and literality,
45:20
SPEAKER_00: a love of concision and accuracy,
45:22
SPEAKER_00: rigor.
45:23
SPEAKER_00: These may also be the qualities that equipped him to pursue a path of self-determination,
45:29
SPEAKER_00: to build a life through the application of will.
45:32
SPEAKER_00: He will cope better than most with uncertainty.
45:35
SPEAKER_00: Though his emotions will challenge him as much as any person's might,
45:39
SPEAKER_00: his steadiness of mind,
45:41
SPEAKER_00: his commitment to reason will help him to contain them when necessary,
45:45
SPEAKER_00: to wait things out and avoid panic.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: Do these same qualities predispose him to an unusual tolerance of loss?
45:56
SPEAKER_00: Is he better prepared than others to cope as his life is destroyed by the fates when the time comes?
46:02
SPEAKER_00: Hard to say.
46:06
SPEAKER_00: All mammals have fur.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: Are these qualities that arise from the idiosyncrasies of the body,
46:13
SPEAKER_00: from the filaments that float in the chemical waters inside us?
46:17
SPEAKER_00: Surely yes, always true, but none can say how.
46:21
SPEAKER_00: For some propositions, like God, are both true and undescribable.
46:26
SPEAKER_00: Every person is born.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: I watch as the boy writes, sometimes true.
46:32
SPEAKER_00: For some of us are cut from the womb by the hands of others.
46:41
SPEAKER_00: I really enjoyed it.
46:42
SPEAKER_00: I really enjoyed the whole book.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to read that as a reminder to tend to our dreams, to tend to our visions.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: For me, this is the stuff of winter and to prepare the ground for it.
47:02
SPEAKER_00: In the Sappho poem,
47:07
SPEAKER_00: They're saying, we've scented the room for you.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: We've created beauty for you.
47:12
SPEAKER_00: Come, please come and visit us.
47:15
SPEAKER_00: And so I wonder how we can create our lives right now so that we can welcome the
47:22
SPEAKER_00: magic of ourselves right in the honey of ourselves.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: How can we prepare our lives a little bit more spaciously, more tenderly, more connectedly?
47:33
SPEAKER_00: Just...
47:35
SPEAKER_00: It's small ways to invite a bountiful, abundant, delicious winter.
47:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm storytelling on Thursday.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: I hope you, um,
47:49
SPEAKER_00: coming guys all of you hope you're all coming um i look forward to one day getting
47:59
SPEAKER_00: a uh a minibus to come and pick you all up but um if you if you do find yourself
48:04
SPEAKER_00: free on thursday evening i'm going to tell some stories at the goddess house uh
48:09
SPEAKER_00: doors open at seven for a half seven start um
48:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think I'm going to tell a Thomas Hardy story.
48:16
SPEAKER_00: It's really out of my comfort zone, but it's knocking on my door.
48:20
SPEAKER_00: So I think I'm going to tell the Thomas Hardy story, the withered arm.
48:24
SPEAKER_00: And I think I'm going to tell a story about a toad that I told at 777 recently.
48:29
SPEAKER_00: But I should never say what I'm going to tell because it's always depends on the
48:33
SPEAKER_00: stars and the people and everything.
48:35
SPEAKER_00: So things could really change.
48:37
SPEAKER_00: So come and see me then.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: Stay a while in Glastonbury.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: Come and listen to The Winter Rain on Saturday at 777.
48:48
SPEAKER_00: And if you can't do those things because you're busy or you're too far away or any reasons,
48:56
SPEAKER_00: need to be good reasons.
48:57
SPEAKER_00: I hope they are.
48:57
SPEAKER_03: Washing your hair.
48:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, that's not a good enough reason.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, for those of you who were invested in me, I was making some homemade conditioner on the last year.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: I was just emulsifying it.
49:10
SPEAKER_00: It set rock solid like a pillar candle.
49:13
SPEAKER_00: But I was unperturbed and I still put some on my hair.
49:17
SPEAKER_00: And then I had a meeting in Bridgewater.
49:18
SPEAKER_00: I just like kind of rubbled it up as much as I could.
49:21
SPEAKER_00: And I put it on my hair.
49:22
SPEAKER_00: My hair was wet when I left.
49:24
SPEAKER_00: And I had a meeting in Bridgewater with the person who was helping me edit.
49:29
SPEAKER_00: And I was so embarrassed to say that I went to the loo at one point and my hair had
49:32
SPEAKER_00: sort of dried like naturally mostly.
49:34
SPEAKER_00: And then it was just in kind of like solid clumps.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, back to the drawing board with the natural conditioner.
49:42
SPEAKER_00: That's not what I was going to say.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: I was going to say I've got a couple of spaces left.
49:46
SPEAKER_00: on my winter online course.
49:48
SPEAKER_00: And if you're feeling it, you're so welcome.
49:51
SPEAKER_00: It's five Sundays from the 1st of December through to April,
49:55
SPEAKER_00: where we will gather and we will connect through story,
49:59
SPEAKER_00: we will connect magically,
50:00
SPEAKER_00: we will write,
50:01
SPEAKER_00: we will craft.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: It's going to be splendid and you are all welcome.
50:09
SPEAKER_00: Anything you want to say or play, guys?
50:10
SPEAKER_00: No.
50:16
SPEAKER_01: Well, from me, thank you so much.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
50:19
SPEAKER_01: It's been absolutely wonderful being here.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: So thank you so much for listening to your poems, to your stories, to your thoughts.
50:26
SPEAKER_01: It's wonderful.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, you've set a landscape.
50:31
SPEAKER_00: for me to speak this, you know, all these amazing people's poems into.
50:36
SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
50:37
SPEAKER_00: Thank you to the moon.
50:38
SPEAKER_00: Pleasure.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Martin.
50:40
SPEAKER_00: Did you want to say?
50:40
SPEAKER_00: I feel like you've got just something working those lips though, Martin.
50:45
SPEAKER_00: Part of me wants to just press stop.
50:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm likely to come out with a right load of rubbish.
50:51
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
50:56
SPEAKER_03: No, just like Ellie said, thank you very much.
50:58
SPEAKER_03: It's been absolutely lovely.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: It really has.
51:00
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
51:01
SPEAKER_00: Really beautiful music.
51:03
SPEAKER_00: Very, very special and tender.
51:06
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
51:06
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, guys.
51:07
SPEAKER_00: Remember that if you want to support this project,
51:12
SPEAKER_00: you can sign up to Patreon if you think,
51:15
SPEAKER_00: oh,
51:16
SPEAKER_00: her throat feels dry,
51:17
SPEAKER_00: she sounds like she needs a cup of tea.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: You could buy me a cup of tea a month on there or you could tell someone about the podcast.
51:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, I only need another 2,900 subscriptions and then I'm away.
51:31
SPEAKER_00: So if you can support me on that, that would be great.
51:35
SPEAKER_00: Share it, like it, make a comment.
51:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but blessings and peace to all of you and I'll see you next week.
51:41
SPEAKER_00: Lots of love.