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Don't Believe Everything You Think ✨ · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:05
  Hey friends, welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show. I'm your host, Nadia Chapman.
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  And today we're gonna be talking about the secret life of your thoughts.
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  And what if you believed everything your mind tells you all the time?
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  And what if that was the problem?
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  Here's the thing, your thoughts have a secret life. And I'm being dead serious right now.
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  They don't just pop into your head all day long, you know, politely introducing
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  themselves and then leave.
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  It's not the way your thoughts work. And I know you know that.
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  They sneak in all the time, all day. They tell stories, they make predictions,
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  they judge, and sometimes they completely make things up. And somehow,
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  us silly humans, we believe them.
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  It's almost like we have this tiny little narrator in our mind,
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  living in our head, who's been giving a microphone without ever applying for
• 1:00
  the job. It can be so annoying, right?
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  And the crazy part of this is that most of us never question that voice.
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  We just assume. If I thought about it, it's probably true.
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  But today, I want to challenge that with you because one of the most life-changing
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  skills that you can develop, it's not positive thinking. It's just learning
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  to become very curious about your thinking.
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  So today together, we're going to take a little peek behind the curtain and
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  explore the secret life of your thoughts.
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  So let's imagine something for
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  a second. Imagine that someone followed you around all day with a speaker.
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  Okay, every single thought that you have is playing out loud on a speaker.
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  You'll look terrible today. Or they're probably judging me.
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  Or, oh my God, here I fail again. Or I'm behind. Or why did I say that?
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  Or, oh my God, this person's better than me.
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  Or I'm too old. I'm too young. What if this goes wrong?
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  Or I should have started years ago. and so on.
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  Can you imagine how obnoxious that would be? And honestly, you would probably
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  punch that speaker within five minutes.
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  But somehow, we let that voice stay on repeat inside our head every single day.
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  And I know, as I'm telling you this, that you're coming up with thoughts that
• 2:23
  you have on repeat in your own head, right?
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  Your brain is not trying to make you happy. And this is coaching 101. This is psychology 101.
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  Your brain is trying to keep you safe.
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  Thousands of years ago, you know, your ancestors, they survived because their
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  brain constantly scanned for danger.
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  Is that a lion? Is this plant poisonous? Or should I run right now?
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  The brain became incredibly good at spotting problems. And that's still what we do to this day.
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  We have a very easy time to pinpoint everything that's going wrong in our life.
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  And yet we ignore all the good stuff that's happening. We have a hard time focusing
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  on the positive. So fast forward to today.
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  There aren't many lions out there chasing you, but for some reason,
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  the human brain did not get the memo. So it still scans for different dangers.
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  What if they reject you? What if I embarrass myself? What if I fail?
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  What if they don't like my post? What if I disappoint someone?
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  So different century, but the same survival software.
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  One of the biggest mindset shifts that I've learned is that your thoughts aren't facts.
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  A thought is not a fact, you know, and maybe I should say that again.
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  Maybe that's the writer downer for today's episode.
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  A thought is not a fact. That's it.
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  Just because you think something, it doesn't make it true.
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  Your brain says something like, oh, I'm terrible.
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  Oh, I've always been terrible at public speaking. Well, guess what?
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  That is just a thought. Your brain says, nobody likes me.
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  Guess what? That's just a thought. If your brain says, oh, it's too late.
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  It's a thought, not a truth. So our mind creates stories constantly.
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  And sometimes the stories are very useful. And sometimes they are absolutely ridiculous.
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  And I'm going to give you my favorite example.
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  Have you ever texted someone and they don't answer right away?
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  So five minutes goes by, There's nothing.
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  30 minutes, you know, three hours, still nothing.
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  And then I know how your brain works. Suddenly your brain becomes like Netflix
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  drama writer. It's like, oh my God, it catastrophes. Oh my gosh,
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  they're mad. Oh, is it something I said? Okay, why are they ignoring me?
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  Or they don't like me anymore.
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  And then hours later, the person replies, sorry, I was busy or sorry,
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  I forgot to reply or my phone died.
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  And just like that, your entire movie falls apart.
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  All right. So we create stories just like a movie with almost no evidence.
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  And that's a trick I teach younger clients of mine.
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  Imagine that your brain is like a 24 hour news station, but a negative news
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  station. All right. So breaking news, something might go wrong tomorrow.
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  Breaking news, that person doesn't like me.
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  Breaking news everyone else has life figured out but me and meanwhile most of
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  those stories never happen if you've ever spent hours worrying about something
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  only to realize later on oh
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  that wasn't even an issue in the first place so i'm sure you've experienced this as well.
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  So here's the question that changes everything. Instead of asking yourself,
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  when you have a negative thought coming in, is this thought true?
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  Ask yourself, is this thought helpful? Because honestly, some thoughts might
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  never be fully proven true or false, but they can absolutely be helpful or harmful.
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  So let's say you are a figure skater. I work with a lot of figure skaters.
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  So let's say before competition, your brain says, I am going to mess the whole thing up.
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  Whether that's technically possible isn't the point. The better question is,
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  does believing this thought helps me perform? And the answer is going to be no.
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  Well, then maybe I don't need to keep feeding this negative thoughts. All right.
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  Try this instead. The next time that your brain throws a scary thought at you,
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  don't argue, don't panic, just notice. Notice your thought.
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  Oh, there's my brain trying to
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  protect me again. You don't have to wrestle every thoughts that you have.
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  Sometimes you just have to kind of, you know, wave at it.
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  Thanks, brain. I know you're trying to help. I know you're doing your job, but I've got this.
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  And this stupid little exercise is surprisingly powerful.
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  So here's what I want you to do for the next 24 hours. This is your challenge.
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  Pretend that you are a wildlife photographer. All right. National Geographic
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  wildlife photographer.
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  Except that this time you're not taking pictures of animals.
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  You are observing your thoughts.
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  So you don't chase them. You don't judge them. You just notice them.
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  Oh, there's comparison popping again. Or, oh, there goes perfectionism. Oh, oof, there's fear.
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  Huh, okay, self-doubt again. Whatever it is that comes to your mind.
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  I want you to become the observer instead of an actor.
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  And that little bit of distance that you create changes everything, all right?
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  Another trick I'm going to give you is that imagine that every single thought
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  you have has a name tag. And this is a great little tip.
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  Put that into your toolbox, all right?
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  So, hi, I'm fear. Nice to meet you.
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  Hi, I'm comporation. Hi, I'm anxiety. So just give it a name tag.
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  You know, hi, I'm old programming, whatever it is.
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  Suddenly, the thought lose a little bit of power because you realize,
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  oh, I'm not my thought. That's not me.
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  That's just one visitor passing through.
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  And here's something worth remembering when you do this. I always tell people
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  I work with, thoughts are like seeds. Not every seeds will grow.
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  Only the ones that you water. So every time that you replay,
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  I'm not enough, you water it. Every single time that you replay,
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  I always fail, you water it.
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  But you can also water different thoughts. Like I'm learning,
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  I've got this, I can figure things out. And little by little,
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  those become stronger too.
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  The voice you feed, guys, is the voice that grows, all right?
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  And one last thing I want you to leave with today. Your thoughts aren't your identity.
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  You know, you're not your anxiety. You're not your fear. You are not your inner critic.
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  You are the person listening to those thoughts.
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  And that is a huge difference because once you realize that you are just an observer,
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  really, you gain control and you gain a choice and you don't have to believe
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  everything that your mind says, you get to decide Which thoughts deserve my
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  attention and which one can simply
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  drift away like a cloud? Voila.
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  So here's your challenge for today. Just once today, catch one harmful,
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  negative, unhelpful thought.
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  I want you to pause. I want you to smile and say, huh, interesting.
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  My brain is telling me that story again.
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  And that's it. Don't fight it. Don't shame it.
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  Notice it because awareness is where change begins all right.
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  Thank you so much for spending these few minutes with me i really appreciate that you're here
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  if this episode makes you look at your own thoughts a little bit differently
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  today please share this episode with someone who could use a little reminder
• 10:15
  that they are not their inner critic
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  and also if you're enjoying the nadia chapman show i would be so grateful if
• 10:22
  you can follow the podcast or leave a review it It really helps these conversations
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  that we're having reach more people who might need them.
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  Until next time, remember, you don't have to believe every thought that knocks on your door.
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  All right. Some deserve a seat at the table and others can simply,
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  I don't know, wave as they pass by. All right.
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  Take care of yourself and I'll see you in the next episode.