Latest / Movie Meltdown / Rollin' with the Girl on the Third Floor

Transcript

Rollin' with the Girl on the Third Floor · Movie Meltdown

• 0:26
  Speaker 1: How do we tell people that they need to join
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the Horror Club? Because they're really kind of dragging their
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: feet about it, don't you think? There's a lot of
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: people listening right now and they're just.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Like, maybe later.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: And yet here we are. We're putting together these really
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: cool episodes and we're coming up with this whole new
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: system for picking movies that they could be part of
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and yet they're just i don't know they're just not
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: coming through.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah do you have the list pub while you just
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: made the list.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: So we just finalized the first list but it's it's
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: still one of those that's always fluid at least every
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: time we're going to be replacing one but we also
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: have some that people can when we get actual people
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: from the club that submit they get You know, they
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: get bumped up. Because they're a club member, they obviously
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: get a level of importance over the rest of humanity.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Don't even get a vote, really. We have to come
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: up with the rest.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: That's the other.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I've had people from the outside... keep throwing out options lately,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: but I'm like, well, that's why you joined the club.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I can't use yours at all because you're normal people
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: that aren't part of the club. So one more reason,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: if you're listening, you have a great movie you'd like
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: us to watch or a terrible movie. I don't know.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: We're going to get a lot of each, I feel like.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: I hope so. Yeah, this is your chance to get
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: your choice in there above those regular people out there.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Their votes don't count, but yours will when you become
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: a club member. And now is the perfect time to
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: join the club because this is the episode where we
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: kick off that new segment, 20 Ways to Die. And
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: you will get to experience the inaugural roll of the die.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: We have this 20-sided die, and we have made a
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: list of 20 horror movies, and we're going to roll
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: it at the end of each of these so that
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: we know what the next movie is. All right. Are
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: we ready?
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Ready.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Does anybody else want to shake? You're leaving it to me.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: We can trade off in the future. Here we go.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: What movie will be our first special episode?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: You'll find out. And then, once you join, you can
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: add your movie choice onto our list for an upcoming episode.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Not to mention, once you join, you get access to
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: all the previous Horror Club episodes. And in particular, you
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: can hear this latest episode where we say awesome things
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: like this. Like just pulling your wallet out like most
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: people do with their children. You're like, look, I sponsor
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: these dummies.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: They need my help.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: I sponsor these dummies.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Taking care of them. I'm totally on board with this.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I take good care of them.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: They take care of me, too.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Can I leave now, sir?
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is definitely amazing.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: It's good.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It, like, weirdly gave me nightmares.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: See, that's the thing.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: I watch scary stuff all the time, and I had, like,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: had trouble sleeping the night that I watched it. No idea.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Never heard of it. You're not a big WWE fan?
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: I am not. Which is surprising, I know, but yeah.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I assumed.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're always coming in wearing Hulkamania shirts and shit. Again,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I like my references to be 40 years old. legitimately
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: in the middle of an interview cracks a bottle over
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: his head and like not a prop not breakaway glass
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: he like grabbed a bottle cracked it into his head
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: and blood just starts pouring out while he's still delivering
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: this amazing like like religious level of sermon.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Well, it went back and forth on him. It's like,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: am I rooting for him or against him? What do
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I want to do here? And the fact that he
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: pretty much is acting by himself the entire movie. A
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: good portion of it, yeah.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: He's talking about the one coming out of the wall socket.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: There's slime oozing out of it. And he just smears
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: it out of the way and jams the plug.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: And I was like.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: That can't be how it's supposed to be.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I'm not a contractor, but I'm pretty sure it's not
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: supposed to be oozing slime at any given moment of
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: the day.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Out of any part of the house, really. Kind of, yeah.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Especially your electrical outlet.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: What the hell is up with this house and marbles?
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I needed him to.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Because he just keeps looking at them, and they keep
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: rolling by, and he never comments on it.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I'm just like....
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: He's like, how many townspeople are going to cryptically be like, oh,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: you're in that house, and then not say anything? And
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: he's just like, huh, okay. I'd be like, what do
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: you mean?
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: If it's a house that people keep dying in because
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: of the dead hookers, I really need to know that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: So here's the thing I think this did really well,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: as far as just basics, because almost from the beginning.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: When something like that comes up, I'm too distracted by thinking,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: wait a second.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not worried about the fact that, wait, are ghosts real?
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: That should be the bigger question. That doesn't bother me
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: at all. It's who the hell turns a shower on
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: like that? How to sell a haunted house like any
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: other home on the market. Haunted house law and the
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: duty to disclose.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Haunted house law. I feel like I want to be
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: that lawyer.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: In New Jersey, a seller must truthfully tell a buyer
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: if their property comes with phantom roommates. Only if asked.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: And the longer he takes to open that dryer door,
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: the more I'm like, no.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Please just be like some shoes.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: It so sounded like a boot thrown in there. I
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: was like, please, boot.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Fake out. I'm just asking for a fake out.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So that's a thing you can do. According to Ghostbusters,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Aside from that, I was like... Which Dan Aykroyd swears
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: that that happened to him. And that's why they put
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: it in there. That's why he put it in the movie. Well,
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: It makes me question what this ghost hooker is thinking.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Do you not see his weird hair? Come on.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Just throwing yourself at his back porch.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Come on now.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: It sounds like a euphemism.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start using that all.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: The bigger question I have is why? She's not freaked
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: out at all by this. Even if you're not in
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: an alternate reality, there's an orgy going on that you weren't.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: They didn't say, hey, come to our orgy. It just
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: shows up in your house.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Your house is now housing the orgy.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: You weren't invited to the orgy.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: But you got a front row seat. If I go
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: home and open the door and there's an orgy going
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: on at my house that I didn't know about previously,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I'm going to react somehow. I don't know which direction
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: I would go. Let's get this going. If you walk
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: into an orgy that you're not affected by, that means
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: you've been to at least 10 orgies. At minimum.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I think, yeah, you get a punch card, right?
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Because I've been, I don't know. Your 11th orgy's free.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: I've been to zero. So I'm pretty sure. So you say. Well,
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: that I know of. I'm pretty sure that the words, wow,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: would at least escape my mind. Or at least a,
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: would you look at that. I'll be dead.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: That's a pretty cool match.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: When they split her open, she looked like a very
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: It's like if a fourth grader tried to make their
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: own Cinnabike costume.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love that description.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Don't give marbles to a baby.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: See, there are important takeaways from this.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Don't do that.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Important things we need to pass on to people.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Especially like dropping them onto their head from an air vent.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Come on, honey, open your mouth. Let's make this work.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: So go to MovieMeltdown.com click on the Horror Club link
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: on the right side of the page and join the club.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: With your help, we can keep this 20-sided die rolling.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I got a whole lot of money,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: a whole lot of love just for you.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Girl, I know it sounds funny, but I want you
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: for my honey. Yes, I do. We'll be rolling, rolling, rolling. Rolling,
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: rolling up.