Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 38: how to overcome the fear of being CRINGE on social media

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38: how to overcome the fear of being CRINGE on social media · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

0:00
Hello my loves. So today we are going to be speaking about a topic that I care so
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passionately about and that is
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Alchemizing the fear of being cringe online. Okay, so you want to post the content
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You want to post your art your consciousness your ideas, but you are terrified of embarrassing yourself
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Maybe there's that high school group that still follows you on Instagram and you're like, oh, I cannot be involved
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What if they see me stepping into a new me and that's what we're gonna be talking about today
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So the first thing I want to talk to you about is this is a five-part system
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And I actually thought of one more that I'm going to add to the end
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It just came to me as things do but essentially what does alchemize mean?
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It means we are transmuting we are transforming typically in alchemy
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It's base metals or better metals that were seen as worthless quote unquote into gold into something
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Transformational into something more powerful more radical and more divine, okay?
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So that's what we're gonna do we're gonna take this emotion that we typically feel an isolation like it's something that you carry on your own
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And we're gonna say what is the wisdom it has to share for us what can we learn from it?
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And how can we use it as a way to connect with ourselves and with the collective rather than as something that is
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Stopping us from sharing our voices. So let's get into number one. Okay, number one
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We are always going to want to validate like that is always what I'm going to say is we're just going to affirm and
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Validate this energy within us because you know, we live in a very
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Judgmental culture. We have a lot of social conditioning a lot of hierarchies and supremacy and colonial consciousness as well
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That is all affecting who gets to feel safe in being seen and who gets to feel okay in their expression
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So we have a lot of ableism. We have a lot of all of the isms colorism homophobia fat phobia
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Anti-fatness and so with all of this comes all of these cultural understandings of who is allowed to take up space
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And in what way and so I want to affirm that both between hierarchies and supremacy culture and also in a culture rooted in shame
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Think of things like bullying think of things like hate comments and online culture
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We've seen so many people be torn down sometimes we've even participated
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So with that in our bodies, it's very difficult for us to then put ourselves in a position to do the very thing that we've shown
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See and rather can be very dangerous
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You know in the sense of people getting canceled people being hated on dragged ridiculed people minding their business and becoming a meme like all of this
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Effect us and is layered on top of our individual wounds
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We carry of childhood bullying of
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Maybe being the friend that people made fun of or made jokes about or some insecurity that we still carry about how we may be perceived
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Based on maybe how our childhood or parents or people around us in those developmental years treated us and regarded us
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And so I just want to affirm that instead of saying why do I feel this way or why can't I just get over this just
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Treating it with the utmost compassion that it makes so much sense that you would feel that way my love
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Let in this culture that you've been given that's not very nurturing towards creatives and towards creativity and creative expression
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Creative expression is always a risk. You're always trying to do something or say something that hasn't quite been done or said in that way
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And with that you are being very vulnerable and with that risk and with that
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Vulnerability they comes the fear of backlash the fear of being shamed the fear of being judged the fear of not being received in the way
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You are seeking to be received or even often the fear of success
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So we don't want to be seen in this role because in our society one of the worst things you could be is an embarrassment
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Right, oh the shame of that the pain of that the fact that even the way that we talk about each other and gossip about each other
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There is this undercurrent of like don't be shameful or you will be called out for it
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You will be ridiculed you will be dragged you will face the torment of the collective and if you're watching this
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I'd bet you're a sensitive soul and a sensitive soul
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We care a lot what people think about us and so we do have that people pleasing tendency within us and also
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We do have that fear of being
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Extricated from the collective why because our bodies know that our
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Aliveness and our and our livelihood depends and interdependent on each other
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So we have this wisdom and codes from all of these centuries of us living as a species hundreds of thousands of years
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So that's what we want to start just soothing the inner child soothing that voice within us that's feeling like
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What if this all goes wrong and just say that your feelings of shame and embarrassment are completely valid in the context of the culture and the
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Society and the social conditioning and the shaming nature of how we relate to one another way
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We're often humiliating each other or dragging each other and this may be an or offline and gossiping about each other
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So there's this wound that we carry whether it's a sibling wound sister wound brother wound of like what if they laugh at me
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And what if I'm not okay and safe in this expression like this is who I know myself to be or who a part of me because we're very
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Multi-dimensional multi-faceted, but what if if I express myself in this way
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I face that backlash and what if I can't survive that backlash
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So it makes so much sense you're not alone
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I did a whole master class on this and we were all talking about fear and all the fears that come up as we create
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And I think one of the most painful fears and again one of the fears we carry in isolation is this fear of
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This backlash this cancellation this rejection this ridicule this judgment
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It's a deep wound why because we are deeply social beings
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And so what we need to understand as sensitive souls is it's our sensitivity that allows us to create
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It allows us to tap into the deep emotional state of being that we feel it's what allows us to feel love on a deep level
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What allows us to feel grief on a deep level what allows us to tap into the magic of everyday existence and the magic of a moment
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And yet that same sensitivity can also be what blocks us from sharing our voices and so
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So much I want to affirm that your voice needs to be heard your gifts
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People are waiting to receive you that what you are seeking in this expression that you feel called to is seeking you
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Think of your favorite movie and how it changed your perspective or your way of being or you just enjoyed it or you felt
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Alive or seen all of the creators of that film went through their own sort of doubts and pain yet
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Here you are having sought out this film and felt seen by it
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So just in that way you didn't know you were seeking a film exactly like that perhaps
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But now that it exists you feel like wow my life would be completely different if they hadn't committed to this project
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So I think it's the same way of thinking like even though I'm envisioning the worst sometimes the best also happens
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Sometimes there are people seeking the exact messages that I have to share and even though sometimes it feels like
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What I have to give for that is put myself up to be ridiculed or to be hated on
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Sometimes it's like you know what and on the other side of that what is the opposite of fear it is love
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It is trust it is community
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It is the fact that we can hold this in community and we're gonna be speaking about that shortly
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So now that we validated our fears around being cringed the next step to take is to neutralize
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So we need to neutralize our self rejection like we're rejecting ourselves
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We've decided that why is this so embarrassing because we've decided that this part of ourselves that's being expressed is
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Unexceptible maybe we're embodying ourself in a certain way
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Maybe our physical presence is something we can't accept because of the beauty standards and the beauty hierarchy and toxic beauty culture
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That exists which is a huge part of the shame point we were just speaking about so we've decided not
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Independently but based on the culture and the messaging we've received and also the experiences we've had as I mentioned to reject
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This part of ourselves that we think is so embarrassing. It's unacceptable. What does it mean to be cringe?
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It's like you it's a rejection. It's a denial
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It's like saying that part of me is unacceptable if I let that part of me be seen
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It will never be received well. It will never be accepted
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It will only be ridiculed why I'm even ridiculing myself
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So we reject ourselves almost to protect ourselves from the rejection of others
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But what we don't realize is if we're fearing rejection then rejecting ourselves is a sure way to ensure our own rejection
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Because if we never post the video we never meet the community that may come from that video
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And I feel strongly about this because two of my closest friends, but you're like answers like me
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We met through TikTok or we reconnected through TikTok
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So through sliding into DMs or losing track of each other for years and then coming back to each other
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And I just know so much more community is on its way through that platform
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So what I want to say is that it's very important to understand that we are deeply rejecting
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We are repelling away from something within us
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Maybe you don't find yourself funny and you look at these videos and you're like, oh, cringe
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This is so embarrassing. Maybe you hate your appearance. This is so embarrassing. You feel I'm too ugly to be doing this
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I'm too fat to be doing this. I'm too dark skinned to be doing this whatever it is
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I'm I sound weird. I hate my voice. All of these things
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We've decided to relate to that part of ourselves in a repelling way
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And again, this is socially and culturally informed. I'm not saying you independently decided that
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But essentially you're saying this is unacceptable
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And sometimes what we try and do in response to that repulsion is attraction
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To go to the complete opposite side and say, oh, no, this is actually amazing
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This is actually wonderful. I love this
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But what we feel is the falseness of that sentiment. We don't feel in love with what we're seeing
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We don't feel in love with what we're creating
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So then what happens is we struggle because we're not in authenticity. We don't love it. We're hating it
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So what can offer us if we think of alchemy meeting a moment with what it demands so that it can be transformed into something greater
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into something higher is neutrality
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And by neutrality, I think in the culture, there's a lot of language around detaching and the importance of detachment
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And I don't really vibe with that unless we are detaching selectively in order to attach
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What do I mean by this? Sometimes while I'm editing my videos for my podcast
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I'm so repulsed like by what I'm seeing either I'm
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I don't like how I'm saying something or I don't like seeing my own image in that way
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It just feels really unnatural to be viewing yourself in that way
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And what I say to myself is if I continue to stay this clinging and this attached to
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This is wrong. This is bad. This is embarrassing
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I'll never finish this and I'll never post this episode
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And it will never exist in someone else's consciousness
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As the love that I was intending because all my podcast episodes are very loving and nurturing
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So I want that energy to seep into someone else's being
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But if I'm there rejecting, repelling, denying
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Then it will never be finished. I'll be like, oh, this is terrible
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I'm not going to post this. So what do I do? Instead of saying, oh, no, this is amazing
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I say this just is if I say to you right now leaves
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trees
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grass
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clouds
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It's very neutral. What is it? Is it good? Is it bad? I mean, it just is
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I think some of us love trees, but if I just say that words to you
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You don't get this instant pang of either rejection or attraction
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I mean, I actually love trees. So that's not a great example
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But clouds, for example, or just leaves branches
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It's very neutral and what we need to understand is we are part of this vast universe
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And everything in the universe belongs
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That doesn't mean it's wonderful or loving or but it belongs
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So your emotions are part of the universe
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Just as the air is just as the sand is just as the waves are
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So your emotions are but what we learn is there are certain emotions we should cling to and there's others
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We should reject so what we need to sometimes do is okay
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The alchemist is saying what does this moment need to be transformed into something higher
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And we can say neutrality
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So sometimes while I'm editing instead of saying this is so bad. This is so good
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I just say you know what this just is
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I my job is to finish this and get it into the heart of someone else
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They're actually going to have a completely different relationship with this work
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They're not going to find what I find cringe cringe
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They might find what I find cringe actually their favorite part of the episode
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Because that is the nature of human connection
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We reject within ourselves what may be very attractive to someone else
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And at the same time because it's very difficult to jump into attraction from rejection
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We can say I'm going to selectively detach from this work
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So that it can allow me to attach connect with the audience that I'm seeking to reach
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So if you go on a TikTok and you see how many videos they are in someone's TikTok
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There's hundreds or thousands of videos
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Imagine if every single video that person was deeply attached to
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And say this isn't good enough this could have been this or that could have
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They would never be able to progress
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They wouldn't be able to just hit send
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The mindset of selective detachment is this is just a video
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This is just a video it doesn't have to be invested with all this emotion
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And as sensitive souls again it's using our emotions
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Being artists of our emotions rather than letting our emotions use us
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To work through and to work for the systems that want to silence us
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Because when we don't post our videos in our content and our ideas
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Who benefits the status quo because most of our ideas somehow
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Some way challenge what we've been taught to believe is true
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So if I am too scared of this episode and I don't make it
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Then I never share my message around the fear of being cringe
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And who benefits? Well all the people who want to keep us in shame
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And want to keep us silence
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Not to say this is going to change the whole world
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But it could change the world for one person
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It could change the mindset or the heart set of one person
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So I'm selectively saying it doesn't have to be incredible
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It doesn't have to be terrible
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It just is just like the sand
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Just like the trees and we are alienated
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Especially if you are in a western culture
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But actually that imagination has had a huge imprint on
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Just how we understand ourselves especially through the paradigm of psychology
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And how the tyranny of that paradigm essentially
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But essentially because of that paradigm viewing us as alienated from nature
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If you go to the Oxford dictionary of nature
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It says the natural world as opposed to the human
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Rather than as one with the human
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So because of that we think that the things we're going through
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We're moving through are the most unnatural forces
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And we don't understand how to relate to them
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In a more balanced way to say everything belongs
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And the thing that I'm rejecting is actually not in and of itself repulsive
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Or awful or terrible
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I'm rejecting it because of the culture that I've grown up in
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I'm struggling to accept it or feel attracted to it
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So I'm going to say okay
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This is just a video
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Okay, I'm selectively detaching
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What is the mindset that someone who's going to finish this video
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And send it out would need to have
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And for me sometimes it's like
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It's just Monday the 21st of January
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It doesn't have to be this deep emotionally charged
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And oh my goodness if my goal is to devote myself to a podcast for years
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Like not until February
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Literally in 10 years I want to be interviewing people
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In terms of my current consciousness
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Obviously we don't know how we evolve
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Then if I really am able to do this for 10 years
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What's the mindset I need to have now
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It's just a fucking episode
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It's just episode 38
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You know what I mean it doesn't have to be
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Oh my goodness but on minute 12 you said this
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And why didn't you say that and you implied this
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And now you left this person out
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And you made it seem like you thought this
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But actually you think you know what
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That's what I had to give
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And what Rick Rubin says in his book
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The Creative Act is it's essentially viewing your work as a diary entry
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Not something that defines you as an artist
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Or as a person or as a creator
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But really someone who just posted what they felt that day
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That could be in the form of a drawing
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It could be in the form of an episode
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It could be in the form of a piece of writing
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It's just how you felt that day
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If you wrote that same piece 12 hours later
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Even while I'm editing I'm like
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Oh I've already changed my mind about this
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That's just who we are
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We are just like the oceans
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Just like the wind
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We are always shifting
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We are always evolving
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And yet we say this one thing I made
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On this one moment of time
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Maybe you made it over months
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Defines me
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And if it's not good enough
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I'm not good enough
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And I'm just not gonna post it
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Rather than
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This is just something I made
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On December 21st to December 29th
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And I'm just gonna let it be
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Because my voice also deserves to exist
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In the chorus of voices of creatives that exist today
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Why not me?
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Why not you?
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Why not us?
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So that is on neutrality
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And developing the sense of neutralizing your approach to your own work
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And we're gonna talk about zooming out
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So that we can see
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What is the long-term purpose of this project
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And goal of this project
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And what is the mindset that I would need to adopt
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In order to fulfill that long-term desire
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Let us now go to the third way
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That we can optimize our fear of being cringe
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And that is connection
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Now let's talk about this
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Because we know that one of the deep wounds
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Of the global consciousness at this time
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Is loneliness and isolation
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Is feeling that even in a crowd of people
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You feel alone
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Why? Because you cannot go
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To the deepest realms of your soul
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And of your being
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To the conversations you really want to be having
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To the form of being listened to
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That you want to be experiencing
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So you are both either physically isolated
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And that you may be in a town where you are on your own
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Or a city where you are on your own
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Or you are emotionally and existentially isolated
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Many of us are being alienated from each other
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And feeling a deep sense of loneliness
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And importantly a deep sense that our deepest emotions
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No one in our life can really hold and sit with
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And experience with us
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When in reality we are meant to be living
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All the time together
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Dancing together
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Moving together
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Breathing together
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Walking together
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We were literally our bodies are made for that kind of co-existence
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That kind of co-presence
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The idea that you are never creating alone
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You are never being cringed on your own
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You're making a little song with someone
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Or you're decorating a pot with someone
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Or you are singing with your family
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Or you are tending to the land
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Or cutting something with your family
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This is very important
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And collectivism still exists in many cultures
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Across the world today
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I'm not acting like
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It's a relic of the past
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Or I come from a collectivist culture
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I'm South African
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And I love that
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And also because we also are displaced
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From one another through things like jobs
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And asynchronous experiences of time
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Where we don't have as much free time together
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As we were meant to as hunter-gatherers
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We still feel that alienation
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So how does this relate to the fear of being cringed
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The problem is you carry this pain on your own
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You sit in your room by yourself
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And you look at yourself
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Or you look at your content
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Or your art
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And you think this is not good enough
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This is so embarrassing
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So what are we going to do in response to that
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Because we can't solve
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The loneliness crisis in a video
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What we can do
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Is use the power of our imagination
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Okay
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So we're going to use the power of our imagination
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Part of this process of alienation
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And separating us from each other
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Has been the mechanism of dividing us even in thought
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So we imagine in our consciousness
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That everyone is going to be against us
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We've been weaponized against each other
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And our imagination and our ability to imagine
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Has been weaponized against each other
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So that we are always projecting
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The worst case
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Our fears
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Rejection
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Denial
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Criticism
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Judgment
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Onto the other
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Rather than projecting the possibility
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Of love
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Connection
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Feeling seen
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Intimacy
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And I know I've experienced this so much in my podcast
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Where I put an episode out
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And I'm like, oh my word
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I should have said this
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And I didn't say that
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And I didn't like how I said this
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And then I read the comments
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And they're like
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You've cleansed me today
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You have no idea how powerful your voice is
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I've been journaling about this episode
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Thank you so much
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You are so generous
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And I'm like
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Wow
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You know
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Wow
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And I'm so lucky that I have a community
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That is that responsive to me
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But what I mean by this is
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If we're always using our imagination
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Against one another
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Then kind of again
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The status quo achieves its ends
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Of keeping us thinking
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That we are each other's worst fears
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Right?
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That we are always going to
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Grow each other's pain
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And I know this is because many of us
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Our deepest traumas and wounds
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Are from the collective
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Or from other people
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Or from people who should have taken care of us
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When they didn't
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Or from family members, friends
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People in our community
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So I don't want to discount that at all
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What I do want to say
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Is we need to reclaim
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Our imaginative power
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To imagine differently
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To connect through imagination
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So what how do we do this in practice
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So if I'm feeling so cringe
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And I'm like
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Oh my god
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This is so embarrassing
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This video looks so terrible
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Who am I to think that I can do this
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I just sit with that feeling
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And I say
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Okay, I've now validated
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I say this is valid
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You've grown up in a culture
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That shamed you
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And I really wish that I could wave my magic wand
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And put you in a deeply supportive environment
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That would make you feel safe in this expression
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So what are we going to do now
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We're going to use our imagination
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And say
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This part of me
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That I'm rejecting
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Is in so many people
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This thing that I do
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That I find unacceptable
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Millions, if not billions of people
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Do that exact same thing
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What do you see in TikTok comment sections
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Oh my god, I thought I was the only one who did that
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I thought I was the only one who felt that way
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What is this symptom of
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Our alienation
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We don't understand that on these deep levels
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We are so similar to so many people
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So this thing about you
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That you think is unimaginatively acceptable
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Is actually a deep part of many people
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That thing that you think
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Oh no like
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But now I thought I had a niche
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But now I'm interested in so many things
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Connect to the collective consciousness
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If you're interested in so many things
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There are so many other people
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Who are interested in the things you're interested in
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Like we think we're this
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Oh what I don't have a niche
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So then my audience will be confused
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No, your audience is
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A different manifestation of the same
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Unity consciousness
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If you have diverse interests
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That span beauty culture
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And colonialism
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And also creativity
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And also
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You know how to be a good friend
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And romantic longing
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And love
21:26
And deep connection
21:28
And also other things
21:29
Reading
21:30
I love reading
21:31
I made it about me
21:32
But essentially
21:32
Your audience is going to vibe with that
21:34
Because that's the nature of us
21:37
We are not that different
21:39
And we are
21:40
Living in a world that wants to alienate us from that fact
21:44
So when you feel this feeling of
21:45
I'm so embarrassing
21:46
This is so ridiculous
21:48
Love and think
21:49
How many people feel this way
21:51
How many people do this thing
21:52
That I do and think
21:53
Oh that's so embarrassing
21:54
And what if me posting this video
21:56
Is going to help normalize
21:58
And spread out
21:59
This way of thinking
22:01
Seeing
22:01
Feeling
22:02
Being
22:02
Looking
22:03
Like we need to feel
22:04
Represented in the collective consciousness
22:07
By you sharing yourself
22:09
You don't even realize
22:10
That you are helping someone else feel seen
22:13
In you
22:14
Just choosing to express the part of you
22:16
That you've decided
22:17
That has to be rejected
22:18
Because the people viewing your videos
22:21
And viewing
22:21
They feel the same way
22:22
They were like
22:22
Whoa
22:23
I've never seen someone
22:24
Like me
22:25
Expressed in this way
22:26
I feel seen
22:27
I love that comment of all the comments
22:29
That I receive on my podcast
22:30
My favorite
22:30
I feel so seen by you
22:32
I deeply resonate with you
22:33
So we all are craving resonance
22:36
So the more of us
22:37
Are using our voices
22:38
And putting them into the world
22:40
The more resonance will be found
22:42
So if we think of the frequencies of being
22:43
And everyone is vibrating on a different frequency
22:46
The more you vibrate at your specific frequency
22:49
The more people of that frequency
22:51
Are going to feel seen
22:52
And heard
22:53
And our frequencies intersect
22:54
With our interests
22:55
Our everything
22:56
It's not just energy
22:57
It's also what we feel drawn to
22:58
And called to and magnetized towards
23:00
So when you speak out
23:01
And you say
23:02
Listen
23:02
I really care about this
23:04
And you bring that energy of caring
23:06
There is nothing more magnetic than that
23:08
Listening to someone who feels deeply passionate
23:10
About what they are saying
23:11
That passion could be rage
23:13
That passion could be heartbreak
23:15
That passion could be a deep sort of joy
23:18
Bliss
23:19
Love
23:20
There's nothing more satisfying
23:21
And I think we see this in so many viral videos
23:23
They're very emotive
23:25
People are drawn to people
23:27
Who are expressing the emotions
23:28
That they don't feel
23:29
They have the space
23:31
To express publicly in their lives
23:33
So through you
23:35
They get to feel seen in that emotional expression
23:38
They get to feel seen in your vulnerability
23:40
It's almost like
23:41
It's their own
23:41
Why? Because
23:42
Unity
23:43
We are not actually
23:44
We are all interdependent
23:45
We're all
23:46
The same source
23:48
Coming from the same source
23:49
So when you share yourself bravely
23:51
And honestly
23:53
You are allowing people
23:54
Who are vibrating the same way
23:55
Who are viewing things the same way
23:57
Making the same similar conclusions
23:59
Or maybe who just are craving inside
24:01
And they don't even know
24:02
Yours is the inside they were craving
24:04
You are allowing them to feel seen
24:06
So when you connect to the collective
24:07
Instead of saying
24:07
I'm so alone in this feeling of embarrassment say
24:10
How many people feel embarrassed by this
24:12
And then you think
24:13
Oh, I wonder there's a goal in Ghana
24:15
There's a goal in Colombia
24:16
There's a person in China
24:18
There's someone in
24:19
And you just start to imagine
24:21
All the manifestations of this embarrassment in the world
24:24
And what you would hope to happen in response to that
24:26
On a global scale
24:28
Is that we do something so that it's no longer so embarrassing
24:31
And us
24:32
Even though it feels like a very small act
24:34
Posting a video
24:35
Posting an essay
24:36
How do you change the world
24:37
You change culture
24:38
How do you change culture
24:39
By people
24:40
Now all of us having this democratized means
24:42
Not all of us of course in the world
24:44
But now if you're watching this
24:45
The democratized means of telling our own stories
24:48
Sharing our own ideas
24:49
Sharing our own perspectives
24:50
We can feel the ripple effect that is having
24:52
We are reaching deeper levels of consciousness
24:55
We are taking on different values
24:57
We saw it in COVID
24:58
We saw it now with Palestine and the free Palestine movement
25:00
We are not the same people we were
25:02
Why is that
25:03
Because the people who are now able to share their stories
25:07
Directly
25:08
And their perspectives on events
25:10
And on life
25:11
And on spirituality
25:12
And on philosophy
25:14
And on history
25:15
Are not the same as they were
25:16
The colonizer wanted it to always be them
25:18
Who was the historian
25:19
The victor
25:20
Who was the victor
25:21
The colonizer
25:21
So it all links right
25:23
We change the world
25:24
By sharing and expressing our truth
25:27
And trusting that if millions of us are doing that
25:29
It is going to lead to a shift
25:31
And I think especially as a digital creator
25:33
You're kind of downplayed in the culture
25:35
Or you're just an influencer
25:36
Or you just make videos
25:37
And yet
25:39
Where are people spending their attention
25:41
Where are people gaining new ideas
25:44
What are people saying in conversation
25:45
Oh I saw a TikTok that
25:47
Oh I learned in a TikTok that
25:49
Oh I saw in an essay that
25:50
Digital creativity has the property
25:53
Or the ability to really be viral
25:55
So I'm not saying it's the only way you change the world
25:57
But it's certainly one of the pillars
25:59
Because you change the world
26:00
Through changing consciousness
26:02
Actually is the actual thing
26:03
You change the world
26:04
Through changing consciousness
26:06
And when you change consciousness
26:07
The culture changes
26:09
The things people are saying
26:10
How they're saying it
26:11
The energy they're saying it with
26:12
Completely shifts
26:13
Because now
26:14
They are a different kind of being
26:16
They see the world differently
26:17
They don't think they should be spending their time
26:19
You know, suffering
26:20
They no longer think that
26:21
They now think
26:22
Oh I'm actually a manifestation of love
26:24
So then what will they do
26:25
They don't see each other as aliens
26:27
Or enemies
26:27
They say oh no, Palestinians are my siblings
26:29
Congolese people are my siblings
26:31
So then that shift happens
26:32
And people are now suddenly advocating
26:34
From that position
26:35
Of really believing
26:36
That we are each other's siblings
26:38
So this is how
26:39
Because when we think
26:40
When we have a different consciousness
26:42
We literally
26:43
Demand a different world
26:45
Because we want a world that
26:46
Is in line with the consciousness that we have
26:48
Okay
26:49
So connect through the collective consciousness
26:51
Which is you
26:52
Which is part of you
26:53
You are not some lone wolf
26:55
Just experiencing things on your own
26:57
Everything you're experiencing
26:58
Has been experienced
26:59
Is being experienced
27:01
Will be experienced
27:02
So speak into that void
27:04
If you feel
27:05
That there's something missing
27:06
Someone else feels that way
27:08
Something missing in what's being expressed
27:09
An idea
27:10
A piece of art
27:12
Speak to it
27:12
You're not alone
27:13
I promise you
27:15
It's a testament to our alienation
27:16
How much we feel
27:18
That we are alone
27:19
In the embarrassment we feel
27:20
And also in the ideas we feel
27:21
Cool to express and how we feel
27:23
Cool to express them
27:24
I promise you
27:25
You're not alone
27:26
And if you tap into that imaginative power of
27:29
Could I just imagine or feel
27:30
It's possible that someone actually
27:32
Really wants me to post this video
27:34
Someone out there is scrolling on their bed
27:35
And they want to feel seen
27:37
By this exact thing I'm making
27:38
What you seek is seeking you
27:39
So who might be seeking your voice
27:41
And why are you preventing them
27:43
From achieving their desire
27:45
Of being expressed through you
27:46
Or having something important to them
27:48
Express through you
27:49
Okay
27:50
This takes us to the next element
27:52
In this system
27:52
Which is service
27:53
Which is so deeply connected
27:55
To where we just landed
27:57
With connection
27:58
And when we are in a service mindset
28:01
Magic can happen
28:02
So let's talk about service
28:04
So with service
28:05
We really want to shift
28:06
From ego protection
28:08
How will I be perceived
28:10
How does this make me look
28:11
What if I don't sound smart enough
28:13
To who will this serve
28:16
If this could help one person
28:18
How would it help them
28:21
Because when you are in ego protection
28:23
You are actually
28:26
Constraining, constricting
28:27
Your own power as a divine being on this earth
28:30
Your power too
28:31
Heal
28:32
We all have the power to heal
28:34
When what I mean by that
28:35
Is not that one voice is going to heal you
28:37
But think of all the ripple effects
28:39
Of people hearing healing ideas
28:42
And receiving them
28:43
And normalizing them in their consciousness
28:45
Or the effect of one person hearing an idea
28:47
That deeply resonates with them
28:48
Taking that idea
28:49
Infusing that into their
28:50
How they treat people
28:52
Right? We are each other's healers
28:54
And as I said we also are
28:56
As humans the source of each other's wounds
28:58
And as a culture and a system
29:00
That hasn't taught us how to actually
29:01
Be fully embodying
29:03
Healing energy and healing people
29:05
So we don't go to education systems
29:07
That teach us
29:08
How do you love
29:09
How do you listen
29:11
How do you heal
29:12
How do you not inflict pain
29:13
How do you understand your ancestral trauma
29:15
So that you don't
29:16
Continue the cycle but you actually break it
29:18
That's a whole education piece in how society is designed
29:20
And what value structure it's designed upon
29:23
But when we understand that on a deep level
29:27
Service and collectivism
29:28
As in
29:29
I'm willing
29:31
To sacrifice the self
29:32
Not in a martyrdom way
29:34
Just I'm willing to be inconvenienced
29:36
I'm willing to be of service
29:37
In order to serve the collective
29:40
That is not a Western ideology
29:41
That is not an individualistic ideology
29:44
It's a deeply collectivist ideology
29:45
Because people think
29:46
Oh, I want community
29:47
I want collectivism
29:48
But then you ask
29:49
Okay, there are going to be things
29:51
Like from this whole therapy speak culture
29:53
Where you will have to sacrifice the self
29:55
I don't mean in a like die way
29:57
But I mean
29:58
In a sense that there will be things
30:00
That the collective ones that you may not want
30:02
What will you do then
30:03
You know what I mean
30:04
And of course this is a nuanced perspective
30:06
But what I mean is that
30:07
It is very important
30:09
That we tap into our natural born gifts of serving
30:14
Serving each other
30:16
And serving each other could be making an incredibly funny film
30:19
That makes people laugh and brings liberty
30:21
Or makes a commentary on society
30:23
Serving each other could be just sharing that idea
30:25
That was so important to us
30:27
That we're convinced
30:27
If it was important to me again
30:29
Connect to the collective consciousness
30:30
Which is your birthright
30:31
Which you are part of and which is a part of you
30:33
It was important to me
30:34
It's going to be important to someone else
30:36
And I believe that
30:37
Why because there's 8 billion of us
30:38
It's not possible
30:39
That if this is not important to me
30:41
It won't be important to someone
30:42
So when you shift from
30:44
How will I be perceived
30:45
How will I be seen
30:46
What if this isn't good enough for my ego
30:48
And for my need
30:49
To see myself as perfect
30:52
Because what we have to understand
30:53
Is perfection is a paradigm
30:54
That's been imposed on us by hierarchy culture
30:56
By hierarchy
30:57
By supremacy culture
30:59
By a system that has ranked us
31:01
And ordered us and given awards
31:02
And given hierarchy
31:04
And status and privilege to people
31:06
Who show that they are meeting
31:08
These invented standards
31:09
By colonial consciousness
31:10
By capitalism and all these things
31:12
And so when we're in this ego protection mindset
31:15
And we are focusing on self-preservation
31:17
How can my ego be perceived
31:20
And when we understand that through this perfection paradigm
31:23
We don't know how to make sense of ourselves
31:25
Or view ourselves as acceptable
31:27
If we can't track ourselves
31:31
On to the notion of perfection
31:32
So when we see ourselves trying
31:34
When we see ourselves doing something
31:36
That we don't yet fully know how to do
31:38
Or that we haven't fully embodied
31:40
The kind of expression we want to have
31:42
Like maybe we're interviewing someone
31:43
And we think in our heads it's going to be incredible
31:45
But then we do it
31:46
And it's actually a little bit
31:47
Fumbly and there's awkward pauses
31:50
And that's just life
31:51
Right? And what is an awkward pause
31:53
If not just you breaking the convention
31:55
Of how you've been taught
31:56
Conversation is supposed to go
31:58
Which breaking convention in this world
32:00
That's a good thing
32:01
But essentially
32:02
Because we don't know how to make sense
32:04
Of our worthiness as beings
32:05
When we are not somehow tracking ourselves onto perfection
32:09
We then completely reject and dispose of ourselves
32:12
In the face of feeling imperfect
32:14
Or posting something that seems imperfect
32:17
But what we need to understand is
32:19
Whenever we are in a perfectionist mindset
32:21
We are not in a service-based mindset
32:23
Because why?
32:24
The person who is desiring to be served
32:27
To be seen
32:28
To be felt
32:29
They don't seek perfection
32:31
Have you ever said
32:32
Oh, you know, my friend
32:33
They helped me so much
32:34
They listened to me in the absolute perfect way
32:36
They didn't pause
32:37
They just everything was perfect
32:39
It's like no, even if they fumbled with their language
32:41
What is meant, what is felt by us
32:43
When we felt listened to
32:45
Is that sense of you are here
32:47
You experienced me
32:48
You helped space for me
32:49
You listened to me
32:51
You played back what I said to you
32:53
You were there
32:54
Your intention was aligned
32:55
It doesn't matter if you maybe said something that
32:58
And then you'd backtrack
32:59
It's not about that
33:00
The one who needs service
33:02
The one and we all need service
33:03
The one who needs healing
33:04
And we all need healing
33:05
They are not seeking perfection
33:09
They are seeking to feel seen
33:11
They are seeking to feel healed
33:13
They are seeking to feel
33:14
A sense of resonance
33:16
You know what I mean?
33:17
And resonance is so much beyond perfection
33:20
If you speak and you create
33:22
From an aligned intention
33:24
Of trying to spread
33:26
Whatever message you are trying to spread
33:27
But like genuinely
33:28
Align yourself to that frequency
33:31
So for me it's love, baby
33:32
I'm all love
33:33
I'm trying to be
33:34
I'm trying to manifest through
33:35
I'm trying to share my love
33:37
Why? Because I've faced so much
33:39
And it's from that energetic space
33:41
Within my being and body
33:42
That I can then speak
33:43
Right? This has been such a pain for me
33:45
But as again we are alchemists
33:47
So I can
33:48
Elchemize that pain
33:49
That I felt
33:50
Of being cringe
33:51
And I felt
33:52
Of facing backlash
33:53
Or fearing backlash
33:54
That hasn't yet come
33:55
Or just feeling the sense
33:57
Of what if everyone rejects me
33:58
What if people already are reject to me
34:00
What if people are
34:02
Calling me embarrassing
34:03
Or viewing me as like
34:04
I would never do that
34:05
Because I've felt that pain
34:06
I've sat with it
34:08
And because I know
34:09
So many of us
34:10
We're not so different
34:11
It's the TikTok comment section
34:13
I understand in my being
34:15
That everything at the
34:16
At the root
34:16
Underneath the layer of the ego
34:18
Is just a being
34:19
Who wants to feel
34:20
Safe, nurtured, loved,
34:22
Seen, heard, all the things
34:24
You know what I mean?
34:25
And so with that
34:26
I say okay
34:27
My goal
34:28
My intention for this podcast episode
34:30
Is not the perfect episode
34:32
Perfection never served anyone
34:33
Of its own accord
34:35
Right?
34:36
If I align my intention
34:37
So deeply
34:38
To the spirit of trying to support
34:40
Someone on their journey
34:41
With something that I have faced
34:43
I cannot go wrong
34:44
There is no right or wrong
34:46
There just is
34:47
Again, the leaves
34:48
The waves
34:49
I just am
34:50
I'm just manifesting purely
34:52
As the thing that I know to be true
34:53
As the conviction I know to be true
34:56
So there's no room for a perfectionist mindset
34:58
When we really dissolve the ego
35:00
And sometimes
35:01
This is something that we can conceptualize
35:03
Oh, ego death
35:04
Or destroying the ego
35:06
Or whatever
35:06
Or unlearning the egoic state
35:09
But how do we actually put it into practice
35:10
And what I would say is
35:11
Ask yourself
35:13
Would this poem
35:15
With this essay
35:16
With this video
35:17
Could this video
35:18
Could this poem
35:19
Could this episode
35:20
Help one person
35:24
And if it could help one person
35:26
And I am one person
35:27
Who am I not
35:28
To post it
35:31
And if you continue to have that mindset
35:33
With everything you post
35:35
Could this help one person
35:36
Cool, yes, go, neutralize
35:38
Cool, yes, go, connect
35:39
It helped me so it could help someone else
35:41
This is an interesting story to me
35:42
So it could be interesting to someone else
35:44
Right?
35:45
You will not
35:46
You will be on the path that was made for you
35:48
In the sense that
35:49
You will be sharing yourself authentically
35:51
Because you will be tapping into a version of self
35:54
That doesn't exist in this world
35:55
Which is a self beyond ego
35:56
It's very difficult
35:57
In such an egoic culture
35:58
To truly experience ego death
36:00
When you're posting to your own social media platform
36:02
When the platform is measuring you
36:04
Not on how deeply you
36:05
Spoke to someone's heart
36:07
Heart chakra and consciousness
36:08
But rather
36:09
How many views you got
36:10
How many likes you got
36:11
How many followers you have
36:12
So we're living in an egoic paradigm
36:14
A paradigm that wants us
36:16
To be attached to our ego
36:17
So that it can be
36:18
Can be used for its own ends
36:19
For the ends of the big tech companies
36:21
For the ends of capitalism
36:22
For the ends of all of these systems and structures
36:24
So I think true ego death
36:25
When we think of the fact that we exist in a culture
36:28
It's very difficult
36:29
Especially if we aim to remain in community with people
36:31
If we want to separate off
36:33
And go meditate on our own
36:34
Maybe
36:35
But if we want to be in our social beings
36:38
It's very hard to not deal with
36:39
Oh but what if
36:40
Those people who are following me
36:41
From high school judge me for this
36:43
What if the people from university
36:45
When I was one version of myself
36:47
Now I'm trying to be another
36:48
What if they judge me for this
36:49
What if they reject me
36:50
What if they're laughing at me
36:51
What if they have a group chat
36:52
Where they're just laughing at me
36:53
What if they see my post
36:54
And they think who do you think you are
36:56
Trying to be something that you never were
36:57
Trying to be a coach
36:59
Trying to be a business owner
37:01
Trying to be a musician
37:02
You can't even sing
37:03
What the fuck
37:04
You know what I mean
37:05
So in a world that's constructed like that
37:07
True ego data is very difficult
37:09
But what we can do is
37:10
Alchemize and say
37:12
What this moment requires me to do is say
37:14
Just as I am wounded
37:15
And right now I'm struggling
37:17
There is someone out there struggling
37:18
So if I want to live
37:20
In this very natural relationship
37:21
Which is our birthright
37:24
As nature is
37:25
What is nature do
37:25
It receives and it gives
37:27
Even the lines between that is blurred
37:29
The flower
37:30
It receives sunshine
37:31
Right
37:32
It gets it from the sun
37:33
And it receives water and nutrients
37:35
It receives nutrients from the soil
37:37
And it also it gives
37:38
It gives of itself as beauty
37:40
It gives itself as pollen
37:42
For the bees
37:43
And for
37:44
More life to grow
37:46
So that other flowers may exist
37:47
And then the bee comes
37:48
And the bee is not even intending to pollinate
37:50
It's trying to get the nectar
37:52
That is its way
37:53
And then in generosity
37:54
It goes to the other flower
37:55
And it pollinates that flower
37:56
Because it's fulfilling its role
37:58
Of giving
37:59
And taking
38:00
So just as that my darling
38:02
My love my angel
38:03
You in your being
38:05
You have this energy of giving and taking
38:07
So just as if you've received
38:09
A video on your on your timeline
38:11
Or a poem that changed you
38:12
Or a movie that changed you
38:14
As a receiver
38:15
So one must give
38:16
Okay
38:17
So if that creative
38:18
You can use your imagination
38:20
That you're developing now to say
38:21
Whoa
38:21
What if that TikTok that changed my life
38:23
What if they actually felt really embarrassed by it
38:25
Or what if they felt like
38:26
This is not going to do well
38:27
But they still decided to post it
38:29
How generous of them
38:30
Okay
38:30
So in alignment with that generosity
38:32
That I've received
38:33
If you're watching this
38:34
You've received someone's generosity
38:35
There's a book that an author really struggle to finish
38:38
Or struggle to bring into the world
38:40
There is the movie
38:42
That really was a
38:43
A struggle
38:43
I don't mean to glorify struggle
38:45
But essentially
38:45
Because of the paradigm we live in
38:47
It's just difficult to be a creative
38:48
And be supported in that
38:49
Right
38:50
And so people have had to really sacrifice
38:52
And also
38:54
People have just been generous
38:55
We don't even have to only look at it
38:56
From struggle and sacrifice
38:58
People have been generous
38:59
They've devoted hours and hours
39:01
To editing the video
39:02
Or editing the movie
39:03
Right
39:03
30 hours maybe they've spent
39:05
On that YouTube video
39:06
That changed your life for 10 minutes
39:08
So in the spirit of giving and taking
39:11
Nature is always giving
39:12
And it's taking
39:13
It's receiving and it's giving
39:15
So as nature
39:16
As someone who's receiving people's ideas
39:18
And art
39:18
Knowing we live in a shameful culture
39:20
And they probably felt some element of shame
39:22
Can I give
39:23
Can I serve
39:23
If I've been served
39:24
Can I serve
39:25
If there have been healing things for me
39:27
Can I heal
39:28
And it's a beautiful process
39:29
I think it's really important
39:30
As a creative to know
39:31
Who are the people
39:33
Who fuel you
39:34
Because then
39:35
It's a natural process
39:36
They fuel you
39:38
You fuel others
39:39
And we keep going
39:40
Like that's just
39:42
That's nature
39:42
That is the way of the world
39:45
Is that we are in this divine dance
39:48
Of receiving sunlight
39:50
Out, you know, metabolizing it
39:52
Putting it into our being
39:54
And then hopefully
39:55
If we are receiving the sun's energy
39:56
What do we do?
39:57
We feel more bright and sunny
39:58
Not automatically, of course
39:59
Is huge mental health challenges
40:00
That the sunlight cannot fix
40:02
But we then radiate that sunlight energy
40:04
To others
40:05
When we felt deeply loved
40:07
We can radiate that love
40:09
And sometimes
40:09
We can imagine a kind of love
40:11
That could flow through us
40:12
And we could actually radiate that love
40:13
Even if we've never received it
40:15
So we have this beautiful process
40:17
Of we had a mentor
40:18
So then we mentor someone
40:20
You know
40:20
We had someone who spoke love into us
40:22
So then we speak love into someone
40:23
Or we have this creator
40:25
Who always is saying
40:26
Oh, you can do it
40:26
So then we're suddenly like
40:27
Whoa, I can do it
40:29
Or now we're talking to a friend
40:30
And saying
40:30
You can do it
40:31
I saw this TikTok she said so
40:32
Or I saw this YouTube
40:33
They said so, right?
40:34
Or I read this book
40:35
You need to read this book
40:36
It will support you
40:37
So we know even the alchemist
40:38
Is such a perfect example
40:39
Where Paulo Quello
40:41
Faced a lot of backlash from his family
40:43
For wanting to be a writer
40:44
So we are receiving this wisdom
40:46
It's now being alchemized
40:48
And we are then able to say
40:50
This embarrassment I feel
40:51
This cringiness I feel
40:53
It is in all of us as artists
40:55
In a world that needs
40:56
To demean
40:58
And to ridicule artists
41:00
So that it can continue to exist
41:01
In the fucked up way that it does
41:03
Because if the artists
41:04
Or were the ones whose consciousness
41:05
Really was centered in the world
41:07
We would always be thinking about
41:08
What could be not what is
41:09
We would always be thinking about
41:11
How can more love and beauty
41:12
And the deep kind of spiritual beauty
41:14
Flourish here
41:15
We would always be thinking about
41:16
And I know there's a lot of toxicity
41:18
That can happen within artists
41:19
But I mean the spiritual kind of art
41:21
Is one that speaks to the divine
41:23
Is one that tries to mirror
41:24
The universe is beauty back into us
41:26
Is one that speaks to
41:27
The deeper realms
41:28
The slowness of life
41:29
The softness of life
41:30
The sweetness of life
41:31
But also represents things
41:33
Like deep pain, grief, trauma through the art
41:36
But let it become
41:37
Something even more powerful
41:39
Through that expression
41:40
Right?
41:41
Okay
41:41
So we're going to focus on
41:43
How can we serve
41:43
Rather than how can we protect how I'm seen
41:46
I may be seen a certain way in this video
41:47
Did I serve?
41:48
I served
41:49
You know what I mean?
41:50
I served
41:50
So that is the fourth
41:52
Okay, element
41:53
As we are shifting into this way of
41:55
How can I serve the other
41:57
Just as I've been served
41:58
In this beautiful reciprocal mutual dance
42:01
It's not I serve you you serve me
42:02
It's I've been served
42:04
If you really reflect on every novel
42:06
You've ever read
42:07
Every book that's changed you
42:09
Every podcast episode that's changed you
42:10
There's a whole team of people
42:12
Who have given of themselves
42:14
In order for that podcast to exist
42:16
In the way that it does
42:17
In order for that book
42:18
To have been edited
42:19
And then
42:20
You know packaged
42:21
And whatever it is
42:22
In order for that essay to exist
42:23
In order for that poem to exist
42:25
That person had to live a whole life
42:26
And then have that wisdom to share it with you
42:28
And how generous of them
42:29
So we're going to mirror that generosity back
42:32
Okay
42:32
The fifth thing that I will encourage you to do
42:35
Which we alluded to earlier on in the conversation
42:38
Is this really important
42:41
Skill
42:42
Art
42:43
Practice
42:44
Of zooming out
42:46
When you are in this cringe
42:48
And embarrassed and mindset
42:49
You're focusing on the one
42:51
The one video
42:52
The one essay
42:53
The one step you need to take today
42:55
Right
42:56
You are not zooming out and saying
42:58
As I said earlier
42:59
Where do I want this to go
43:01
In like 10 years
43:02
Okay
43:03
How do I want to express myself in 10 years
43:06
Because this is not always
43:07
I am obviously coming from a place
43:09
Where I share my work
43:10
And so I have that
43:12
Hurdle of like the struggle to share it
43:14
But I know many of us
43:15
We're just creating for ourselves
43:16
And I do that as well
43:17
I love journaling
43:18
I love dancing
43:19
I love singing
43:19
That's all for me
43:20
It's not for the public
43:21
Okay
43:23
But if we really understand
43:24
If I think to myself
43:25
You know it
43:26
In 10 years from now
43:27
Be really cool
43:27
If I felt so free
43:29
While I drew
43:30
Like there was not even a thought in my mind about
43:33
Then if I am so focused on this drawing
43:35
How I feel now
43:36
How embarrassing it is
43:37
How it isn't good enough
43:38
How will I ever become the kind of artists
43:41
Who I want to be
43:43
And so for those of us
43:44
Who are seeking to share ourselves
43:46
And to experience some of the ripple effects of that sharing
43:50
Drawing in community
43:52
Piers, mentors
43:53
Drawing in opportunities
43:54
Yes, that is part of it
43:55
Right
43:56
Living our purpose
43:57
So that others can as well
43:58
If we really want to do that
44:00
If we believe in our message
44:02
And we also believe in the messages ability to scale
44:04
What we need to do is not be so bogged down
44:07
Again on December 21st
44:08
But have that capacity
44:10
To zoom out
44:11
Okay, zoom out
44:13
And say
44:13
Let me see this from a higher perspective
44:15
Let me see this
44:16
In terms of the
44:18
The what I could what I could hope to happen
44:20
In the next 20 years
44:21
Not in the next three months
44:23
Not in two business days
44:24
Not this viral video
44:26
But really
44:27
If I just offer myself in this way
44:29
And I continue to do that
44:30
How generous of me first of all
44:32
If I zoom out
44:33
What am I seeing
44:34
What is the picture I'm seeing
44:35
Where is this going
44:36
And does that go here
44:37
With the desire I have
44:38
Because all of this starts with desire
44:40
That was the sixth element that I wanted to add
44:42
Is stay connected to your desire
44:45
What do you deeply desire
44:46
Because creativity
44:47
It often
44:49
Pieces through desire
44:50
So we need to zoom out
44:52
From the single work
44:53
To a more holistic
44:55
Body of work view
44:56
You know when you go on someone's youtube for example
44:59
And it's so satisfying
45:00
Because they have all these playlists
45:01
Of all these ideas
45:03
And you get to basically binge their content
45:04
Or on sub-sac
45:05
You love an essay
45:07
What do they do
45:07
They hyperlink to the other essays
45:09
They've already written on that topic
45:11
You go to a podcast episode
45:12
You're like whoa
45:13
This is incredible
45:14
What do you do
45:15
You start to think
45:15
Oh let me go back
45:16
Let me actually rank this from
45:18
Oldest to most recent
45:20
And actually go to like their first episode
45:21
I can learn so much from this person
45:23
So that's this binge-worthy archive system
45:26
And what we don't realize
45:27
Is that as artists
45:29
We get to create a body of work over many years
45:32
And even
45:33
And there's a way that even if we return
45:34
To our own work later
45:36
We will even experience something through that work
45:38
That maybe we were too close to it
45:40
To experience it in the moment
45:41
Because other people don't relate to us as we do
45:44
So when we zoom out and we think
45:45
What is the body of work
45:46
Like that's sexy
45:47
What is the body of work I'm trying to create
45:49
Then suddenly it doesn't matter that
45:51
Oh I never finished drawings
45:52
What if they're already finished
45:54
What if the only like thing next to do
45:56
Is to say they're finished
45:58
And accept that
45:58
Give yourself the permission to say
46:00
What's done is done
46:01
Because what when people look at 50 drawings
46:03
That to you are unfinished altogether
46:05
What do they see?
46:06
Oh they see a body of work
46:08
They see a style
46:09
They see themes
46:10
They see things that surprise them
46:12
And things that draw them in
46:13
Because they are seeing it from a more holistic perspective
46:16
And the people we are really calling in
46:19
That's how we want them to relate to us
46:20
Not oh she failed on Sunday the 29th of November
46:23
So I'm never listening to her again
46:25
It's wow you know
46:26
I loved this episode
46:27
It was one of my favorites
46:28
And I will keep listening
46:29
And I will keep being a part of this space
46:32
Because it's nurturing to me
46:33
But I'm not holding every single episode
46:36
To this impossible standard
46:37
Because I want this to be sustainable for you
46:40
When they look at all the messages you've shared
46:42
Across all your videos
46:44
That's really what is resonant in their minds after some time
46:47
Right is this idea that you created
46:49
You constructed for them
46:50
A world in which they got to live
46:53
So we can't
46:54
If we define ourselves by one single work
46:56
Similar to the neutrality point
46:57
We'll never create a body of work
47:00
And it's such a gift to ourselves
47:01
I think it's such a sexy feeling
47:03
When I get to refer to my own ideas
47:05
And say to myself
47:06
Oh I spoke about this on episode 26
47:08
Let it become
47:09
Right it feels good
47:10
It feels rewarding to me
47:11
It feels nourishing
47:12
It's like whoa
47:13
I'm taking my consciousness so seriously
47:14
That even as I share it
47:16
It's occurring to me
47:17
The way that I documented it
47:18
To share it again
47:19
I like that it's satisfying to me
47:20
We all need to understand
47:21
What is rewarding to us
47:23
But zooming out and say
47:25
Do I have the mindset of someone
47:26
Who wants to do this for 20 years
47:28
Or the mindset of someone
47:29
Who wants this to go really fast
47:31
And happen very quickly
47:32
Because for me
47:33
This is a craft
47:34
And so it's very important to me to say
47:36
Okay
47:36
You can create a milestone for your podcast
47:38
You can say I can't wait till this happens
47:39
Or that happens
47:41
Even if that happens
47:42
You're still going to be
47:43
Your weekly work will still be
47:45
Producing an episode
47:46
So if that end result is not attracted to you
47:49
If that process actually
47:50
Is not attracted to you
47:51
Why are you in this line of work
47:54
If you are just working to get some sort of
47:56
Outcome, deal, sponsorship
47:58
Then what's going to happen after that
48:00
You plateau
48:01
You you you like
48:01
Okay well then now what
48:03
Especially with followers
48:04
If you're like oh I can't wait to get to
48:05
This number followers
48:06
Okay so what happens if you do
48:07
If you're not connected tapped in
48:09
To something deeper
48:10
To something that says
48:11
Actually
48:12
Every morning I want to wake up and write
48:14
Not literally every morning
48:16
But more
48:16
Every morning ish
48:18
I want to create
48:19
I want to speak
48:20
I love like I want to do this
48:22
Thing that I'm doing
48:23
I want to do this
48:24
I want to keep doing it
48:25
So what matters is I unblock myself
48:27
Like a house
48:28
A hosepipe
48:29
I un
48:30
Like block myself
48:31
And say let it flow babe
48:33
Whatever happened on December 21st
48:35
Let it flow
48:36
Because there's going to be December 28th
48:38
There's going to be January 4th
48:39
There's going to be 2025
48:40
There's going to be 2027
48:42
And everything is unfolding
48:44
But for us to really unfold
48:46
What we are calling in
48:47
We need to allow it ourselves to see
48:50
That it is acceptable to be seen as we are
48:52
We think oh I need to become like this
48:54
Or that
48:54
No
48:56
As you are right now
48:57
You have ideas in your head
48:58
That would change people
48:59
That would heal people
49:00
That would speak to people
49:01
That would resonate with people
49:03
As you are right now
49:04
You've created work
49:05
That deeply
49:06
Has import in this universe
49:08
And just deserves to exist
49:10
You know like
49:11
The soil and the sand in the trees
49:13
So we are not blocking ourselves in 2024
49:15
Let other people do that to us
49:17
But that's not what we're going to be doing
49:18
Okay
49:19
And if we feel this energy
49:20
Of I'm so embarrassing
49:21
I'm so cringe
49:22
We are going to allow ourselves
49:24
We are going to allow ourselves
49:26
To speak
49:27
Okay
49:28
Because something I always tell myself
49:29
Is listen
49:30
I'm going to die
49:31
I'm going to die
49:32
So while I'm on the earth
49:33
I might as well speak
49:34
The sixth element
49:35
I promise you which I said
49:36
That came to me
49:37
But isn't in this model
49:39
Is stay connected to your desire
49:41
Understand what you are desiring
49:43
If you're connected to your desire
49:44
Then being cringe
49:45
Makes total sense in service of that desire
49:48
If you really want to get to a certain state of being
49:51
Or play
49:51
Sometimes it does help to visualize
49:53
And say
49:53
Okay
49:54
If that's what I'm desiring
49:56
This is what I
49:56
This is what that version of me
49:58
Who gets to that desire
49:59
This is what they're doing
50:01
They're creating the content
50:02
And hitting sand
50:02
Even when they think it could be better
50:04
They're doing the thing
50:05
They're in the process of sharing themselves
50:07
Because that is how I want to manifest in this world
50:10
So it's this balance
50:11
You know
50:11
Because I do think it's important to stay grounded in the process
50:15
But I also think our human brains
50:16
Or our human minds
50:17
And hearts
50:17
We are very attracted to the idea
50:19
Of where this could get us
50:21
Right
50:22
So I think
50:23
I always do this dance
50:24
Like I'm very processed driven
50:25
But I also do have specific
50:27
Like things that I'm like
50:29
Whoa
50:29
That's an experience I want to have
50:31
That's a feeling I want to have
50:32
That's a room I want to be in
50:34
And for me connecting to that desire
50:37
It makes so much sense
50:39
Why I then need to be doing what I'm already doing
50:41
Which is just being willing to share myself
50:43
And I block myself all the time
50:45
I have so many things I just save to draw
50:47
So I'm like
50:47
Oh this is too embarrassing
50:48
Save to draw
50:49
So I'll come back to it
50:49
Does she come back to it
50:51
No never not once
50:52
Okay
50:52
Or very rarely
50:53
Like literally maybe three times in a year
50:56
So what we need to understand
50:57
Is if we zoom out
50:58
We tap into that desire
51:00
You wouldn't it be so nice if
51:03
Are you going to honor yourself
51:04
And do the things that that person
51:06
Who's in that state of being
51:07
Needs to do in order to
51:09
Receive let's not even say achieve
51:11
Receive that state of being
51:13
Which will be the natural conclusion
51:15
Of the way that you are allowing yourself
51:17
To be shared and to be seen
51:19
So today we took a little bit of a journey babes
51:22
We went into the five elements
51:23
Of how we can
51:24
Alchemize the fear of being cringed
51:27
Now I want to invite us to understand
51:29
That with these five elements
51:30
Validate neutralize connect serve
51:34
And zoom out
51:36
Where have we moved from into what is the transformation
51:38
We move from invalidating our feelings
51:40
Like oh no
51:41
It's I shouldn't be embarrassed
51:42
The people I admire probably don't feel this way
51:44
Why can't I just get over it
51:46
Why can't I ever stick to a plan
51:48
We move from
51:49
Invalidating energy to validating
51:51
This makes so much sense in the context
51:52
Of the culture that I grew up in
51:54
And the history that I've lived
51:55
And the childhood that I have
51:56
And the identity that I hold
51:58
Number two we move from repelling ourselves
52:00
This is so embarrassing
52:02
This is so cringe
52:03
I could never I'm unacceptable
52:05
To saying okay let's neutralize
52:07
This just is
52:08
Just like the trees
52:08
Just like the petals
52:10
Just like the waves of the ocean
52:12
This just is
52:12
So what is the mindset that someone who needs to get this work to be finished
52:16
Or to exist in the world as I'm manifesting
52:18
What is the mindset they would need to have
52:20
Just neutral
52:21
It just is
52:21
It's detached selectively
52:23
To attach through the work itself
52:26
Because I always want to attach through the episode
52:28
But I don't want to be so attached to the version of the episode in my head
52:31
The perfect version that's always a fantasy
52:33
That I never let it be
52:35
And never let it become
52:36
What it can be
52:37
What I have to give on December 21st
52:40
The third thing we move from
52:42
Is feeling isolated
52:43
To connecting
52:44
Feeling like I'm the only one who feels this way
52:46
I'm carrying this on my own
52:47
And I know this is not on you
52:48
You can't just imagine your way out of feeling isolated completely
52:52
But what you can do is imagine a state of affairs
52:54
Where there are other beings who feel exactly as you do
52:57
And you can feel that sense of unity with them
52:59
You can say whoa isn't it so sad that our culture has done this to all of us
53:03
Even as you don't actually have any of those actual people in mind
53:07
There's 8 billion of us
53:08
So that's so much space to play with the imagination
53:11
And use it not to imagine the worst
53:13
But to imagine connection
53:15
Imagine raising its imagination empathy
53:17
Okay
53:17
And another way you could connect
53:19
Is connect to other people's stories
53:20
Who've shared their experiences
53:22
Feeling like they're too embarrassing to be shared
53:25
The fourth thing that we spoke about was
53:27
From protecting our ego
53:29
How will I be seen
53:30
How will I come across
53:31
What if I look like this
53:32
What if I'm this person
53:34
What if people hate me
53:35
What if people cancel me too
53:36
How can this serve
53:38
How could this be of service
53:39
Could this help one person
53:41
Who has served me
53:42
And in turn
53:42
Who can I serve
53:43
Okay
53:44
This really other and collective based mindset
53:47
Of what if another world is trying to speak through you
53:49
And all we need to do is get you into that service mindset
53:52
So that you can actually offer your gifts
53:54
To the collective because we are seeking you
53:56
Just as you are seeking this podcast episode
53:58
I had to believe that was possible
54:00
So
54:01
Similarly we need to understand people are seeking our voices
54:04
But we need to detach from this protected ego state
54:07
To actually appreciate that we are healers
54:09
We are people who can offer this service to others
54:12
And it's a divine practice
54:13
A sacred practice
54:14
And it's in our DNA
54:15
It's our birthright
54:16
It's in our beings as nature to give
54:19
And also to receive
54:21
And the fifth and final way
54:22
We are going to
54:24
Alchemize our fear of being cringe
54:27
And being embarrassing
54:28
And being too much
54:29
Or too whatever
54:31
Is moving from zooming in
54:33
Fixating
54:34
This one project is my life
54:36
And it defines me
54:36
And I'm going to work on it for six months
54:38
And then I'll release it
54:39
And then I'll be like
54:40
Whoa what will happen when I launch
54:41
To being like
54:43
Zoom out
54:44
This is one episode
54:46
On one day
54:48
Of one year
54:49
In what I hope to be a decades-long career
54:52
Of speaking and of using my voice
54:54
We don't know the technology
54:55
We don't know if podcasting will be a thing
54:57
But I know
54:58
That I can't really know anything
55:00
In terms of the future
55:01
But what I feel to be true
55:03
Is that speaking is a medium
55:04
That is deeply resonant
55:05
And important for me and for my unfolding
55:08
So if I'm speaking
55:09
Well I'm zooming out
55:11
I'm being and embodying
55:13
What I hope to become
55:13
I'm zooming out and saying okay
55:16
This may not be the episode of my dreams
55:18
Okay I actually really like this episode
55:20
But this may not be
55:21
But if I keep doing this
55:23
I will keep being more and more able
55:24
To create the episodes of my dreams
55:26
And maybe I'll even come to a deeper awareness
55:28
That there is no actual episode of my dreams
55:30
It was all an illusion of perfection
55:32
Perfection is not actually achievable
55:34
Okay
55:34
So we're going from fixated
55:36
Zoomed in
55:37
Myopic view
55:38
Look at this one episode
55:40
To like
55:40
Oh
55:42
What if my only goal is to get to 100 episodes
55:44
Then it's just like hitting send is the bar
55:46
So like lower the bar so you can achieve it
55:48
So that it's sustainable
55:49
And the book atomic habit speaks about this as well
55:52
And then the sixth one you get for free
55:53
A bonus was connecting to your desire
55:56
So we're shifting from feeling
55:57
Very disconnected from what we actually want
56:00
And that deep state of desire
56:02
Like ah wouldn't that be so juicy
56:04
To being like no no no no no
56:06
When I feel the envy I'm going to ask me
56:07
What is desire trying to say to me
56:09
When I'm comparing myself to someone's work
56:11
I'm going to say
56:11
What is desire trying to speak through me
56:13
How is the where is the desire in this
56:15
Because if you connect to your desire
56:17
And then you also connect to the aligned action
56:19
That will fortify and bring that desire into being
56:22
That is the alignment that you are seeking
56:24
That is the coherence you are seeking
56:26
So I hope that you've enjoyed
56:29
This transformation we've taken together
56:32
Where we've alchemized
56:33
And learned how to alchemize our fear
56:36
Into flow
56:37
Our fear being cringed into accepting
56:39
Validating, connecting, zooming out
56:42
Really appreciating the generosity within us
56:45
And our capacity to serve
56:47
And we've said okay like this is
56:50
How we change the world
56:52
Is through changing consciousness
56:54
Is through sharing our consciousness
56:56
Which clearly in some ways that odds with the consciousness we see represented
56:59
Or we wouldn't feel so fearful in sharing it
57:02
Or the consciousness we were told to have
57:04
By our families or by our friends or by our communities
57:08
All I want to say is don't let the limited people
57:11
You now know who now know you
57:13
Stop you from the infinite people
57:14
Who may find your message so resonant with them
57:18
If you only allow yourself to share it
57:20
Right? It's not even about the size
57:22
It's more that we think of these 29 people
57:25
Who knew us from high school
57:26
And from these specific people maybe within that
57:28
Even thinking of who do you fear most
57:30
But then what about like hundreds of people
57:33
Tens of people who could deeply resonate with what you have to say
57:36
And like would we rather serve
57:38
The people who are trying to keep us silence and small
57:41
Or actually speak into the largeness
57:43
The void of like we don't even know
57:45
The uncertainty of who may come our way
57:47
If we allow ourselves
57:48
If we dare ourselves
57:50
If we risk ourselves
57:51
And understand that when we share ourselves authentically
57:54
One thing I can guarantee is we magnetize
57:56
Like hearted people towards us
57:58
And there's something so precious and divine about that
58:01
Okay?
58:01
Like I am feeling so supported right now
58:04
In this project in my podcast
58:06
And just like on my channels
58:09
That even though I know there's the fear of being cancelled
58:12
Or hated on I also know there's so much love
58:14
And the opposite of fear includes love
58:18
Loving ourselves and loving the collective so much
58:20
That we are willing to create through the fear
58:22
The opposite of fear is also trust
58:24
Trusting that there are voices who want to hear ours
58:27
Trusting that the universe is not always terrible
58:30
And shocking and suffering inducing
58:32
Sometimes there is love
58:33
Sometimes there is connection
58:35
Sometimes there is resonance
58:36
And if there's been love for others
58:38
Why not for you?
58:39
Why not for me?
58:40
Why not for us?
58:41
So I'm sending you all the love today
58:43
I hope that you enjoyed this masterclass
58:45
Please note that my masterclass on creative fear is coming out
58:49
In mid-February
58:50
It's going to be wonderful for weeks
58:52
And I'm so excited to have that experience
58:54
So this is just a taste
58:56
And I can't wait to see more of you there
58:59
Information will be coming through on my channel
59:02
So don't you worry, you will know
59:04
You will know
59:05
And I can't wait for this to be in the world
59:07
And to manifest through me
59:09
And I'm just so excited to continue to support all of you on your journeys
59:13
In whatever way shape or form
59:14
I mean there's different layers of my work
59:16
And if you want to go to the deepest layer
59:18
You can work with me one-on-one
59:20
And the information for how to set up a discovery
59:23
Your consultation call is on my website
59:25
I am sending all the love
59:27
I'm feeling energized
59:28
I'm feeling like wow
59:29
You know I'm stepping into a new being
59:32
And what a magical feeling that is
59:34
And to feel like I have sat with the fear of judgment
59:37
And the fear of failure and the fear of all the fear
59:40
And I understand it and it's still there
59:42
It doesn't really go dissolve completely
59:44
But it does dissolve
59:45
It does become less potent
59:47
Especially if you say okay
59:48
What if they do what if they do judge me
59:51
What if they do reject me
59:52
What if they do find me cringe
59:53
What then
59:54
And can I find a space of love and safety within myself
59:57
That I will still love myself even if that happens
59:59
I will still love myself if I'm cancelled
1:00:01
I will still love myself if that happens
1:00:03
Right
1:00:03
And that's where I am now
1:00:04
Where I am loved
1:00:05
I am love
1:00:06
I am manifesting as love
1:00:08
And if I'm doing that
1:00:09
I'm in alignment with my intention
1:00:11
I'm in alignment with the universe in my opinion
1:00:13
In this way
1:00:14
Okay, we're not perfect beings
1:00:15
I just mean in this
1:00:17
In this offering
1:00:18
I feel deeply aligned
1:00:19
And I feel deeply
1:00:20
grateful to have people who are willing to listen to
1:00:22
And support me and radiate love into my soul
1:00:24
So that I can feel energized
1:00:26
And I can feel full
1:00:27
And juicy and able to then share
1:00:29
The fruits of that juiciness with you
1:00:31
Okay
1:00:32
I love you so much
1:00:33
I will see you on the next episode
1:00:35
You'll hear from me soon
1:00:37
Love you
1:00:38
Bye
1:00:39
I hope some paradigms have been shifted for you
1:00:41
In today's conversation
1:00:42
As always
1:00:43
If you can
1:00:43
Please leave a five star rating on Apple and Spotify
1:00:46
Like, comment, subscribe
1:00:47
I love you so so much
1:00:49
Okay
1:00:50
I love you
1:00:51
Join me on my substract
1:00:53
Links in the comment section
1:00:54
Go there
1:00:55
Okay
1:00:55
Love you so much
1:00:56
Love you
1:00:57
Bye