Latest / Ghost Cult Magazine Podcast / PODCAST: Episode 877 - Brocarde Talks “Feed My Soul” and Working with Ray Luzier (Korn)

Transcript

PODCAST: Episode 877 - Brocarde Talks “Feed My Soul” and Working with Ray Luzier (Korn) · Ghost Cult Magazine Podcast

0:00
It's just like a constant battle of inner strength.
0:02
And yeah, I think even life is a constant battle of inner
0:06
strength, I guess. So it's just kind of battling
0:09
through and appreciating your own worth.
0:11
Because I think when you're an artist as well, a lot of people
0:14
like to put you in your place, you know, and, you know, just
0:17
tell you, oh, you're not, You're not this, you know, you're not
0:21
this huge star. And it's like, well, yes, I know
0:23
that, you know, I think people like to put artists in their
0:26
place. And it, it, it's just, yeah,
0:29
it's, it's an exhausting industry, but I think the love
0:32
of the creative side of it keeps everyone going, I guess.
0:42
That means it's working. Right, once you hear the creepy
0:44
voice is working. But no, like I said, I'm so
0:47
excited to chat with you today. You obviously have so many cool
0:49
things coming up. But first I wanted to ask
0:51
obviously, I think it's so cool. We're chatting in October,
0:54
probably your month, I assume maybe your favorite month, but
0:58
with it being the month of Halloween, how have you how's
1:01
this month been for you? Are you feeling more
1:03
artistically inspired? Like what's it like for you?
1:05
It's. So, so funny because I like my
1:09
whole world is spooky all year round, but I do notice the
1:12
difference as soon as October kicks in, like things start
1:15
going crazy for me. I get invited to all of these
1:17
places. People want to talk to me and
1:19
it's like, oh, you think I'm the spooky person.
1:23
You know, it, it, it's it's so funny, but I love the whole as
1:27
soon as like to be honest, as soon as September kicks in, I'm
1:31
like, it's autumn. You know, we're going to like
1:33
all the spooky vibes, like hate summer hate and even like
1:37
clothing wise, you know, like autumn clothes, like the velvet,
1:41
the tartans. I'm just like, yes, please.
1:44
So I love it. I'm just as my favorite time of
1:46
year So I'm I want it to last as long as possible.
1:49
Right. And I love summer, but the very
1:51
first time I feel like a slightly cool breeze in the air,
1:55
I'm like, OK, it's fall. I need it to be cold.
1:57
I need it to be dark and windy like I'm exactly the same way.
2:00
It's a good time of yeah. Yeah, I kind of wanted to ask
2:03
too obviously about music you just released that you have
2:06
coming up. You just released your recent
2:08
single Feed My Soul with Ray Luthier on drums, which I
2:11
thought was such a cool collab, but that was your latest single
2:14
and I was wondering what was it like to record with him and get
2:16
to work with him and have him on drums for the song?
2:19
It was so cool. I mean, the song existed long
2:22
before Ray came on board, so kind of wrote wrote.
2:26
The song had this really quite vivid concept for it and we were
2:30
just kind of analyzing the track and I was just like, oh, we
2:33
really want to get like someone cool on drums and my producer
2:37
knows Ray very well and it's like, well obviously we need to
2:41
get Ray on the track. So it was quite funny when we
2:43
recorded it because it was during Covic time.
2:46
So I I work remotely when my producer anyway, like we
2:49
literally do Zoom as our sessions and I even record
2:53
vocals in the UK and I have my home studio and my producer
2:58
takes over my computer. So this kind of way that we can
3:01
all work now is so like so creative.
3:04
And Ray was on drums in Nashville and I was watching him
3:07
play on the track and my producer was in Las Vegas and it
3:11
was just quite cool. Like, all these creative people
3:13
from different points in the world coming together to create
3:16
this sound. And it was quite an organic
3:19
process. Like, he was just like, very
3:21
excited by the music. Like, he thinks it's completely
3:23
mental. He's just like, whoa, this is
3:25
mad. Like, and I'm so thankful to
3:27
have him on the track. And, you know, he has so much
3:30
energy in his performance, and it kind of adds something to the
3:34
song. And you can't deny that.
3:35
And it was like a pleasure to work with him, I think.
3:39
Well, I mean, and it came out so beautiful too.
3:41
I mean, it's such a killer song as well.
3:43
And I, of course, and I obviously I love the video.
3:47
You filmed it at the Black Forest in Germany, at this
3:51
haunted hunting hotel, which of course, why wouldn't you?
3:55
But I just thought it, yeah, it came out so cool.
3:58
And I was wondering, like, what was it like to record in that
4:01
haunted space? Like, how did that maybe impact
4:03
the video, the vibes that did? What was that whole experience
4:06
like for you? It was so it's so weird because
4:09
sometimes when I write a song, like I can literally see every
4:12
frame of the music video. Like with one of my singles,
4:15
identity theft, I come giving birth to an alien and it's and I
4:19
saw that concept from the moment that I was writing a song and
4:23
for love me till I'm beautiful. Like I when I listened back to
4:26
that song, like I really found it quite a sad cinematic.
4:30
I sort of interpreted it in a different way.
4:33
And I was kind of in the, I, I was at Vakan in Germany and I
4:38
was like researching the Black Forest and I was just like, this
4:41
is like the land of fairy tales. This is like inspired by, you
4:45
know, these kind of brilliant cinematic fairy tales.
4:48
Like that is ideal. And I found this abandoned
4:52
hotel, which is quite popular on YouTube and things like that.
4:56
I just looked at it and I was like, this place just looks like
4:59
it's lost in time. And obviously it was haunted,
5:01
which is another area that hugely fascinates me.
5:04
And I was just like, oh, I have to go there.
5:07
This place is like a vintage time capsule.
5:10
And I walked in and everything was left as it was.
5:14
There was a newspaper from like 1970, something on the table.
5:19
There was all like cops. I mean, I'm sure some of them
5:23
may have been placed for creative purposes, but all of
5:26
the China was out, all of the cops, you know, there was some
5:29
gloves. And even even when we went
5:31
upstairs, inside every single closet there was, it was full of
5:35
clothes, like people's literally as if everyone just left and
5:39
never came back. And it was hugely inspiring and
5:43
hugely creepy. Like there was a room when I was
5:46
exploring it and I actually didn't film in this room because
5:48
I didn't think it fitted that kind of pure, like haunting.
5:52
There was a room where people have been practicing rituals and
5:55
calling upon the devil and all of this stuff.
5:57
And I don't know, I found the energy in there to be really,
6:00
really interesting. Like I can see and sense
6:03
spirits. So I could feel like in certain
6:05
rooms, in certain areas that I was being watched by this force
6:10
and I was kind of like on the floor and like performing.
6:13
And then just something behind me just kept drawing my eye.
6:17
And now as this painting of this, it was this woman in this
6:21
black dress, and it just kept drawing my eye and I kind of had
6:25
to stop the scene. And I walked into that room and
6:28
I walked around the bed and I just got this really
6:31
overwhelming sense of death around the bed.
6:33
And I was just like, Oh my God, this feels like this person died
6:36
here. And yeah, it just really eerie
6:39
stuff like that, that sometimes you can't put your finger on
6:42
every particle of the story. But it was a heavy place and a
6:46
creepy place. And I I luckily wasn't there
6:49
after dark because this place, even though it's completely
6:52
abandoned, there is like there is a caretaker and there's an
6:55
owner. And it was like a permission
6:57
visit. I didn't go breaking and
6:59
entering into this place. So I filmed it all in the
7:02
daytime, which I think I'm quite thankful for because I think in
7:06
pitch black and darkness, those kind of feelings of being
7:09
watched and the presence there would have been a lot more
7:12
intense. And I don't know if I would have
7:14
got through the shoot, but, yeah, that that kind of draws
7:17
something out of you as as a performer.
7:19
Like you're already singing, like lyrics that are quite
7:21
haunting and are quite emotionally driven.
7:24
And to be in an environment that's so like, heavy like that,
7:27
it does kind of bring out an extra layer of emotion.
7:29
So I suppose I have. It's kind of cool to, you know,
7:33
to go to places like that. I go to places like that all of
7:36
the time because I do like paranormal investigations and I
7:39
go on ghost hunts and things like that.
7:41
But yeah, to combine the two and to bring your music into that
7:44
environment, I think it certainly does pull something
7:47
out of you from somewhere very quite exciting.
7:50
When you go to any of these paranormal places or even this
7:54
hotel specifically, you describe it as very heavy or an intense
7:58
feeling. Are you ever afraid to walk into
8:01
these buildings? I know you've done it obviously
8:03
tons of times, but is there ever, is there any of your fear
8:06
when you go in or is it more of a comfort?
8:08
Like what are the emotions like there?
8:10
I think I've definitely had experience in is in my life
8:13
where it has been completely fear driven.
8:15
I think the more I do it and the more I kind of understand what
8:19
it's actually like to see spirit and I get to speak to a lot of
8:23
psychic mediums and people that have had similar experiences.
8:26
So the more that I kind of make sense of that side of my
8:29
personality, the less fear I fear.
8:32
But there are like there still are some awful places and some
8:36
that are really, really a horrible energy and you don't
8:39
quite feel safe. Like I remember when I went into
8:42
I did a paranormal investigation in Nevada and I went into Nevada
8:46
State Penitentiary, which is an abandoned prison.
8:49
I don't know if you know anything about it, but it's
8:51
basically an abandoned prison and it is completely pitch
8:54
black. There is not nothing in the way
8:57
of light in there. And you are literally there and
9:00
you can hear noises. And that was a horrible
9:04
environment. I had to come out of that
9:06
environment and I didn't know if I wanted to go back in.
9:08
And I literally sat in the common space, which was the only
9:12
room that had a light on. And I was sitting there for like
9:15
sort of half an hour going I can't do this.
9:16
I can't do it because you would just hear these noises and you'd
9:20
hear these like voices and you'd feel this weird energy, but you
9:24
couldn't see anything. So you didn't have the comfort
9:26
of light to protect you almost. And I, I literally sat there and
9:31
I was like, I don't think I can do this.
9:32
I think it is a bit too much. And some for some reason, like
9:35
something just clicked. And the lady who works there,
9:38
she's like, well, actually I wanted you to go into the
9:40
execution chamber And I was like, well, I was doubting going
9:43
back in the actual building and now you're like upping the ante.
9:46
But I think some sort of weird and kicked in and I was like,
9:49
well, I can't not go into this execution chamber because she's
9:53
like, we no one's allowed in this normally, but because
9:56
you're so sensitive to spirits, we want you to go in there
9:59
because we know you're going to feel something.
10:02
And if you probably haven't, I mean, you may have been in an
10:05
execution tech chamber on Depero, but I it's again, that's
10:10
a very strange environment because you've got this huge
10:13
submarine door that sort of closes behind you.
10:16
So there's even on a human level, there's quite a
10:18
claustrophobic, scary feeling. And yeah, you, you are literally
10:23
like looking at a bed where people took their last breaths.
10:27
And it was the original bed and it was the original, like it was
10:31
the original execution room. Like all of the straps were
10:34
original. Like obviously it wasn't
10:37
functioning for safety reasons, but people actually did, a lot
10:41
of people actually did take their last breath there.
10:43
And when you go in somewhere like that, and you have to
10:46
remember as well, these people were being killed because they
10:48
were mass murderers or mass rapists.
10:50
They weren't particularly pleasant people.
10:52
So the energy there was really terrifying.
10:55
And I've had encounters like that, which I'm like, how did I
10:58
do that? But just just the kind of like
11:02
fascination for it because I'm, I have quite a strong spirit of
11:05
adventure. And if someone says to me, oh,
11:07
we'll go into an execution chamber, then of course I'm
11:11
going to be like, I have to just do that because it's a life
11:13
experience. And I want to see how that would
11:15
make me feel. And I want to experience it.
11:18
So yeah, I think there is a level of fear, but I suppose I'm
11:23
just fascinated by the whole topic, to be honest with you.
11:26
I, I, I'm really keen to learn more and to experience more in
11:29
that field. So I think that keeps me going.
11:32
Well, and I kind of love that, like the curiosity outweighs the
11:35
fear. And so that's kind of what
11:36
drives you to, I think we all like to be scared sometimes too.
11:40
Obviously that's a very intense version of it, but I thought
11:44
that's very cool for sure. Yeah.
11:45
Well, I mean, I think particularly on Halloween, like
11:48
everyone is sort of going to haunted houses and there is that
11:51
thing like you kind of want to be scared and then you don't.
11:54
And there's a conflict of emotions there, which I think is
11:57
quite a big part of my artistry as well as, you know, as as well
12:01
as my personality, because there is a conflict in a lot of my
12:05
work. That is the kind of like pure
12:07
vulnerable side of me that I like to orchestrate with like
12:10
violins and showing that softer side.
12:13
And then there is that kind of like fighter in me that comes
12:17
out with all that mass aggression.
12:19
And so I think as a person, I'm quite conflicting.
12:23
And I think in a lot of songs then it's like love me till I'm
12:26
beautiful. There are the conflicting
12:28
emotions of love and hate sort of baffling each other
12:31
throughout the song. So I think that contrast is kind
12:34
of quite a big part of my personality.
12:37
And it's like you said, like you sort of want to be scared, but
12:41
you don't at the same time. And it's like, how much is
12:43
comfortable? And, you know, yeah, it's quite
12:46
a fascinating topic, I think. No, definitely.
12:48
And you mentioned again, kind of going back to the recent single
12:52
too. You had said this earlier about
12:54
how just the video or just being in that environment really
12:58
amplified the song itself and the lyrics, and it kind of pulls
13:00
something out of you as well. And I know that that song
13:03
specifically, it kind of talks about, like you said, love and
13:06
hate or like this concept of a toxic relationship.
13:09
And I thought that was such a great thing to kind of address
13:12
in a song and your signature style as well.
13:15
And I was wondering like in terms of a song being about like
13:17
a toxic relationship or something like that, what advice
13:20
maybe do you have for listeners who might be in a similar
13:23
situation to that, if that makes sense.
13:24
I think it's just, I think it's just really hard and there
13:27
definitely have been points in my life where I think a lot of
13:30
toxic relationships thrive off that balance of the love and the
13:34
hate. So on one hand you do feel very
13:37
appreciated and very celebrated, but then there's just things on
13:41
the other side of that that are toxic.
13:43
So it's like someone sort of building you up to knock you
13:46
down. And I, I've had like points in
13:49
my life where I've really not felt accepted.
13:51
And you know, I think when you've kind of grown up and
13:54
you've been bullied and you've always had that intrinsic
13:57
feeling inside, oh, I don't quite fit in and I can't find my
14:00
place in the world. And I think as a human, you want
14:04
to be honest. You want to be as honest and
14:05
open you as you can with your emotions.
14:08
And I think sometimes that does leave you vulnerable because if
14:12
you're honest with people and if you're honest with people that
14:14
you're close to, then that can be used against you because
14:18
people know what your buttons are.
14:20
They know how to manipulate you. And I don't know, I think
14:24
there's just now, I think I'm a, I'm a stronger, like I'm an
14:27
older woman, like I'm more confident in my own skin.
14:31
But I think, I think it's just really, really difficult to
14:34
break the cycle of that because there's a part of you or there
14:37
was a part part of me always in life that wanted approval.
14:40
And I think as a music artist, that never goes away.
14:43
Because even if you've kind of accepted yourself for who you
14:46
are, then every single you you release, you're sort of asking
14:50
for approval. You're like, oh, like my new
14:52
song, like my work. And and when you're an artist as
14:55
well, everyone has an opinion on your work.
14:57
So you never quite get away from that thing of not feeling
15:01
accepted or not being quite enough or, you know, it wasn't
15:05
as successful as you wanted it to be.
15:07
So that might mean you're not good.
15:08
And you know, there's always that kind of feeling that is
15:11
quite self-destructive. And I get to speak to a lot of
15:14
artists, I interview artists on my website and stuff.
15:16
And I think in the music industry, that's quite a running
15:20
theme of people being the contrast of being very having
15:24
this sort of stage persona and people thinking that you're
15:26
fearless and people thinking that you're so powerful.
15:29
But of course, like artists are hugely vulnerable individuals.
15:33
And, you know, that's why there are artists because they have
15:36
something to say and they can express those emotions.
15:38
But yeah, that does make you vulnerable, unfortunately.
15:41
So it it is a constant battle to kind of, you know, keep your
15:46
headspace in a positive, positive place.
15:49
And I think with everyone, sometimes you lose the battle.
15:52
You have a bad day. You feel absolutely rubbish.
15:54
You feel like I want to give up. I don't want to be an artist.
15:57
This is too hard. And then, you know, you'll wake
15:59
up the next day and go, no, screw this, this is my childhood
16:02
dream. I'm going to do it.
16:03
I'm going to keep going and I'm going to keep going until I get
16:06
where I want to go. So it's just like a constant
16:09
battle of inner strength. And yeah, I think even life is a
16:12
constant battle of inner strength, I guess.
16:14
So it's just kind of battling through and appreciate beating
16:18
your own worth because I think when you're an artist as well, a
16:21
lot of people like to put you in your place, you know, and, you
16:25
know, just tell you, oh, you're not, you're not this, you know,
16:28
you're not this huge star. And it's like, well, yes, I know
16:31
that, you know, I think people like to put artists in their
16:34
place. And it, it, it's just, yeah,
16:37
it's, it's an exhausting industry, but I think the love
16:40
of the creative side of it keeps everyone going, I guess.
16:44
Like you said earlier, you just kind of have to fight through
16:47
the bad days and remember why you're doing it in the first
16:50
place. Yeah, I know it's tough.
16:53
I mean, it's it's it's by far the toughest thing I ever do.
16:56
Like the pressure in on the music side of things and
17:00
battling through that is just, yeah, it's, it's it's it is
17:04
tough. And it's not to be
17:05
underestimated. I think you need to keep going.
17:07
You have to fight through every little hurdle.
17:10
You know, I've been doing this for a long time now.
17:13
And for many people, I'm a new artist because that's just the
17:16
reality. Like, it takes time for people
17:19
to start being interested in you, in you.
17:21
And it takes time for, you know, to sort of build your profile
17:25
and to become respected. And it's always an ongoing
17:28
battle. And once you're there, you have
17:30
to like, maintain it. So it is, it's an end.
17:33
You can never just go, oh, I'm done.
17:36
Because once you have a hit, everyone would compare it to
17:40
that last hit and it, you know, like huge bands have this
17:42
problem. But yeah, it's a challenging
17:45
industry, but you can't complain, I guess.
17:48
Right. No, definitely in terms of
17:50
pressure because you had even said earlier like the industry
17:52
just loves to really try and keep artists in a box sometimes
17:57
or OK, well, if you're going to do this genre, you have to stay
17:59
here or you have to look like this or any number of things.
18:03
What kind of pressure have maybe you faced?
18:05
Like has the industry maybe tried to tell you, hey, maybe
18:08
don't do this, maybe don't sound this way.
18:10
Like what kind of pressures have you faced from the industry in
18:12
that sense, in terms of your sound or anything like that?
18:15
I mean, over the years I've had some awful people around me.
18:19
I remember when I first wanted to do rock and metal and back
18:22
when I was a teenager, I looked totally different, like I had
18:25
blonde hair. I was not like aesthetically, I
18:28
wasn't looking like I do today. And I just had a lot of people
18:33
saying, you know, even stupid things like I when I sing, I
18:36
sing in my speaking voice now. And you know, I don't sing
18:40
American. If you're American, sing
18:42
American. Nothing wrong with it.
18:43
It's expected. But even in those early days, I
18:46
had a lot of producers saying, oh, you need to sing in an
18:48
American accent. And I was like, why would you do
18:51
that if you don't have an American accent?
18:54
And things like rebelling against things like that and
18:58
actually being true to what my voice sounds like is my kind of
19:02
superpower because you don't all need to sound like each other.
19:07
And also my kind of approach to songwriting.
19:09
I, I had producers and I had meetings with people and they're
19:13
like, who do you want to sound like?
19:15
Who are we? Who are we sort of copying?
19:17
Almost like, are you going to be the next Lady Gaga?
19:20
Are you going to be the next? You know, I can't even think of
19:23
anyone. My head's gone blank, but are
19:25
you going to be the next? And I'm like, well, actually, I
19:27
just want to be myself. And I want to.
19:29
All I care about is telling the story, orchestrating all of
19:34
these emotions that I'm feeling. And I just want it to sound the
19:37
best it can. And I don't want to be like the
19:41
next anything. And I know that sounds obvious,
19:44
but it at the time it wasn't obvious.
19:47
People are like, well, this song is successful now.
19:49
So if we make a song like that, you can get that audience.
19:53
And it just felt so generic. And sort of even things like I
19:58
skipped through genres in songs and I don't stick to sort of a 3
20:01
minute format. I, I tell a story and I can go
20:05
through several genres and yeah, come out the other side with a 7
20:09
minute song. So it.
20:11
It it's really kind of having the confidence to say, look,
20:14
this is what I want to do and not falling into those sort of
20:18
rules. I mean you have to accept
20:20
certain rules that you know, if you go and present an 8 minute
20:23
song to a highly successful commercial radio show, they're
20:27
not going to have the spot in their show to play it.
20:30
So you're not helping yourself. But things like how I want to
20:34
sound, how I want to sing and people as well.
20:37
I'm very animated and because my background is theatre, I grew up
20:41
like doing musical theatre and people are like, oh, you're too
20:44
animated. You need to like rein that back.
20:46
And I just like, well, I can't because when I sing my face does
20:50
this weird thing like the expressions are mad when I
20:53
perform, it's very over the top. And that's just, I can't do it
20:57
any other way. So if you hate that and that's
21:01
not for you, that's fine. But I can't be something else,
21:06
not easily anyway. So yeah, just sort of battling
21:08
things like that. And people like dictating
21:11
whether you should, you know, like, oh, you're too fat.
21:14
And then, oh, you're too thin. And then it's like, oh, OK, so I
21:17
actually can't win. You know, it's just like, come
21:21
on, this is getting stupid. Or, you know, you've got too
21:24
much makeup on or you haven't got enough makeup on, or your
21:27
dress is too short. Your dress is too long.
21:30
Is this like really? It's just like you just have to
21:33
just like sometimes just phase it all out and just follow
21:37
what's in here. I think otherwise you would
21:39
literally go crazy. Well, especially I mean as a
21:41
woman in the industry, it's all those appearance things on top
21:45
of the music side of it too. Like not only do you sound good,
21:47
but also you need to cut your hair or grow your hair or like
21:51
all these little things are like you said, like you can't win.
21:53
So it's. Yeah, Like, yeah, it's it's a
21:56
struggle. And, you know, I'm one of those
21:58
people that I'm my worst critic. Like I struggle with how I look.
22:02
I struggle with how I present myself.
22:04
Like I'm not, you know, and then you kind of have all of that on
22:07
top and it's just like, wow, OK. It's it's it's it's not easy.
22:12
I mean, it's not easy for any, you know, young woman or I mean,
22:15
I don't want to just say it's just women, but I think we
22:18
definitely get the brunt of more scrutiny.
22:21
I don't think you would, you know, I don't think male rock
22:25
star would get so much scrutiny based on their physical
22:28
appearance, you know, and things like that.
22:31
So yeah, I guess it, I guess it is relevant to women.
22:35
Kind of in terms of this idea of like acceptance or belonging or
22:41
you had kind of mentioned this earlier too.
22:43
But I did want to ask, and I'm sure you've answered this
22:45
before, but I did want to ask about what drew you to this
22:49
world in the 1st place. Like in terms of the more
22:53
macabre, the horror genre, but also rock and metal music, like
22:56
these kind of alternative art forms.
22:58
What drew you to those in the I know you're into them from a
23:00
very young age, but what was it that really draw you to these
23:03
things? Oh, I think, I think sometimes
23:06
just something inside of you cliques like I because I was
23:11
struggling when I was growing up and I couldn't find my peer
23:14
group. Like I did have friends, but
23:16
then I sort of didn't really like what they liked.
23:20
And when I was really young, I, I think I would pretend to like
23:23
the things that they liked. And then it wasn't until I was
23:26
older that, you know, sometimes you just find your people and
23:29
you find acceptance in a social situation and you're like, ah, I
23:33
can actually be myself and people are like me.
23:36
And I think the music industry is great for finding your
23:39
people. And particularly at the rock and
23:41
metal industry, like I've had, you know, the community can be a
23:47
really beautiful place. But I remember like when I went
23:50
to a music festival in Download and the amount of young women
23:54
coming up to be going, oh, I love your dress.
23:56
Oh, you look great. Yeah.
23:58
And it was. So it was an empowering
24:00
environment because we were all in the same kind of crew.
24:03
And there is kind of some kind of magic in all of these misfits
24:07
coming together and celebrating all of the things that they
24:10
love. It's kind of quite a powerful
24:13
and empowering space. And I hadn't I didn't really
24:16
have that growing up. So to find that later in life,
24:18
it's just like, Oh, yeah, there are some really cool people out
24:21
there. And, you know, you don't think
24:23
it's weird that I like ghosts. And you don't think it's strange
24:26
that, you know, I like creepy aesthetics and things like that.
24:29
And yeah, I think, yeah, you can find that at different points in
24:33
your life. But I think there are, you will
24:36
always find somewhere that you fit in.
24:38
Like, even now, I will walk into a room and I'll be like, this is
24:42
not my room. But I think it's that thing,
24:45
like, internally, you should feel like you can fit into any
24:48
room. And yeah, I think knowing that
24:50
is kind of interesting, but people do still judge you.
24:53
People will still judge you. Like if you walk into the wrong
24:55
place with too much eyeliner on, you know, people will be like.
25:00
But yeah, it's, it is empowering finding your people and also
25:03
finding your audience as well. You know, when you start to kind
25:05
of write a song and sounds like, Oh my God, I really felt that
25:08
lyric or I really, I really like watch that video and it made me
25:11
feel something. And I think as an artist, I just
25:14
want to make people feel something, you know, I, I want
25:17
to kind of them to identify with something in my work.
25:21
And even though it might not be specifically about that, I want
25:25
them to go, yeah, like I get this and I get where she's
25:28
coming from, or I or I can identify this to something in my
25:32
own life. When I think it's cool that just
25:36
the connection or the community and not only that, but like just
25:39
the fact that you're able to find the things you love, but
25:42
then also make an entire lifeout of it, both whether it's with
25:45
the music or with the paranormal, like the ghost
25:49
hunting that I obviously that you do.
25:51
I just think it's so cool that like, this is like your life
25:53
now, pretty much. Yeah, no, it is.
25:56
And I think that, you know, when I first sort of started talking
25:58
about ghosts, of course you're going to get people who think
26:01
that's hilarious. But the more you start talking
26:04
about it, the more people you will actually meet in life that
26:07
have had these encounters. And a lot of people will brush
26:11
off things like that as, oh, I didn't really know what that
26:13
was. Was that a ghost?
26:15
Was that something else? But yeah, the more you kind of
26:18
delve into that world, the more normalized it is.
26:21
And also, especially when I'm traveling around America, like
26:25
the part everyone will have a ghost encounter.
26:28
I think it's just not sometimes in some areas, it's just not
26:31
socially acceptable to vocalize that.
26:34
And oh, it's kind of funny. Oh, she saw a ghost.
26:36
And it's, you know, I think it, yeah, it is what it is.
26:40
But yeah, it is a good community.
26:42
Like once you accept it, I think it's kind of interesting and I
26:45
think it's, it's a fascinating topic as well because it's one
26:49
of those things that that everyone is searching for that
26:52
piece of evidence, like, but I'm like, what are you actually
26:55
expecting? You know, you have people who
26:57
are trying to find a photo of a ghost or you know, it like, and
27:01
I think that's what keeps the conversation going because
27:04
there's an uncertainty about it. And I think that's what's
27:06
interesting. And everyone has a different
27:08
opinion on it as well, which also makes it interesting.
27:11
And you've had so many cool run in, not run insurance, but the
27:15
experiences with ghosts are seeing ghosts are kind of being
27:18
in the presence of them. And I did read your piece for
27:23
the Daily Star about how you had seen the ghost of Lemmy at last
27:28
year, I believe, which I mean, if you could see anybody in this
27:32
sense, I mean, to see Lemmy, I think is just so amazing.
27:35
But I did want to ask about like, maybe has there other, has
27:38
there ever been any other encounters like that with the
27:40
spirits of like rock stars? Or in that sense, like has
27:43
anyone, have you ever seen any other ghosts, I guess of that
27:46
level, if that makes sense. Yeah, now I think that now you
27:50
mentioned like the Lemmy thing, I think that was a really highly
27:53
fascinating thing that I got asked to do.
27:55
Like I, I got asked to go to back and and the whole back
27:59
story that Lemmy's ashes are on site and they wanted me to do
28:03
this seance and they wanted me to go into this environment to
28:05
see if I could sense it. And I really thought about this
28:09
quite hard because I was like, what there's there's two ways
28:12
that this could go that either I could go in and see nothing.
28:15
I think in which case it's going to be really weird and it's
28:19
going to be a slightly awkward, or I could go in and actually
28:22
genuinely sense something. And then I'm going to have to
28:25
vocalize this. And how are people going to feel
28:27
about that? Because you know, you will get
28:29
people who will be like, Oh, that's a load of rubbish.
28:31
No, you didn't see, let me. And I just thought, well, either
28:35
way, I can't really win. But I want to go and do this
28:38
because it's an honour to be asked.
28:40
And I'm also intrigued as to whether I could actually sense
28:42
this energy. And I feel like as well, a lot
28:45
of people, a lot of people go, oh, well, why would you see the
28:49
ghost of a celebrity? And it kind of, in my opinion,
28:52
and I've done a lot of research on this, it's if you believe
28:55
ghosts are residual energy like I do, I think the energy of
29:00
certain very famous people is a lot more prolific than perhaps
29:05
your average person who doesn't have that huge persona and that
29:08
huge personality. And there's a lot of research
29:12
into people like celebrities after they've passed away.
29:16
They have been sighted in places that are really important to
29:19
them. So like for for Lemmy, for
29:22
example, vacant was very important.
29:24
Like he knew the owners really, really well.
29:26
He put like, obviously he'd performed there several times
29:28
over the years. And you know, that kind of
29:31
thing, that a hugely predominant rock star wants to remain in
29:36
their sort of happy place or they want to still be visible in
29:39
those places seems very logical to me.
29:42
And it's the same with things like I went over to Hollywood
29:46
and we went into the Roosevelt Hotel because a lot of people
29:49
were saying that they'd experienced sightings of Marilyn
29:52
Monroe because there was a time where she lived there.
29:55
It was her home. She had one of the poolside
29:57
bungalows and she was there for two years, I think, of her life.
30:02
And they had, it's quite a fascinating story, actually, the
30:05
kind of history of this haunting of Marilyn Monroe, because
30:08
there's a suite called the Marilyn Monroe Suite.
30:10
And it used to have this huge, huge mirror in the suite.
30:13
And it caused so much uproar. Like people would stay in there
30:17
and be absolutely convinced that they saw the apparition of
30:20
Marilyn when they looked into the mirror.
30:22
And this caused so much drama that they moved the mirror into
30:26
the lobby. And now people, when they're in
30:28
the lobby, they think they see the ghost of Marilyn.
30:31
And I spoke to one of my friends who's a psychic medium.
30:34
She's called Patti Negri. She's from the Ghost Hunter
30:37
show. And I was like, is there any
30:39
truth in this? And she's like, yeah, I've
30:40
sensed her a few times around the pool.
30:43
So I went there. I'm like, I have to go and stay
30:45
there. I have to go and see what I
30:46
sense. And I just saw this, like,
30:49
really faint apparition of her, like almost like floating across
30:54
the pool area. And I was just like, there is an
30:58
energy there. You can feel it and you can
31:00
sense it. And so many people have seen it
31:03
and sense it. And it's like, what is that?
31:06
What are we all can like? What are we all feeling?
31:09
What are we all sensing? And there's something quite
31:12
beautiful about that. Because, you know, regardless of
31:14
whether you believe in ghosts or not, sort of seeing someone
31:17
after they pass can provide a lot of comfort for people.
31:21
And it can be like a nice little, AH, they're still here,
31:25
they're still watching over us, they're still around.
31:27
Their presence hasn't been forgotten.
31:29
And I find that just quite fascinating and quite
31:32
interesting that so many people had encountered the same thing
31:35
in the same place. And I think a lot of ghost
31:37
stories are like that. And I think once, you know, if
31:39
one person sees something, it can just be your imagination or
31:43
like, you know, I don't know what, but when when multiple
31:46
people feel the same thing in the same area, it's like, oh,
31:49
there's got to be something to this.
31:51
And it's quite a powerful thing. So there's, there's hundreds of
31:54
stories like that. And I think it's that kind of
31:57
conversation that when you have that, I think you have to
32:00
remember as well, when you're a huge star like Marilyn Monroe,
32:03
you, you love, you have spent your whole life being in the
32:07
limelight. You are a star, you know, you
32:09
want to be remembered. You don't want to disappear
32:12
after you die. And obviously there's sort of
32:14
conspiracies about her circumstance of death, which I'm
32:17
not an expert on so I won't go into.
32:19
But obviously there's something in her that doesn't want to
32:23
leave, you know, So she is still around.
32:26
I think it's cool too. It almost goes back to that
32:28
sense of community, like whether it's like a rock show or just
32:31
like this special interest. Like I think it's cool that if
32:34
everybody sees this one ghost, it's like something they could
32:37
all bond over. Like it's and then I like that
32:40
greater question too, like why are we all seeing this?
32:42
Like what does this really mean beyond just, oh, I saw Marilyn
32:45
Monroe's ghost? Like I think that's very
32:47
interesting to kind of dig deeper into that for sure.
32:50
Yeah, the, the psychology of it I find quite interesting as well
32:53
because obviously once what so, so I'm going into that hotel
32:58
knowing that people have seen this ghost so does that mean
33:01
you're more open to it? Does that mean you're more
33:04
susceptible? Because I highly believe that I
33:07
see an experienced ghost because I am so open.
33:10
But I think if I was cynical and close minded, I don't think I
33:14
would see incense. What I see.
33:16
Like if I was sort of a hardcore skeptic and I was like, no, if I
33:19
see a shadow, it's something else.
33:21
If I hear a noise, it's the neighbors.
33:23
You know, like if I had that sort of mentality, which I still
33:27
question, like I will always go to the logic first.
33:30
Like, if, you know, if something fell off the shelf now, I would
33:34
I wouldn't go, oh, that's automatically going to be a
33:36
ghost. But you know, once you've took
33:39
out logical reason, then you are left with, well, what is that
33:42
play here? So I think, yeah, it is a
33:45
fascinating conversation for me. I love talking about it as you
33:48
can tell because like, don't stop talking.
33:51
No, you're, you're totally fine. I does does your, I don't know
33:56
the proper word for it, but you're being more kind of in
33:59
tune with this other plane of being or the more supernatural.
34:03
Does that ever play into your music side of things as well?
34:06
Like I, I imagine it inspires the music greatly, but does it
34:10
ever maybe when you're working on music, do you find that that
34:14
affects how more in tune you are with like seeing spirits?
34:17
Like do those ever play together or those two kind of separate
34:19
things for you? Well, it's, it's quite funny
34:21
actually, actually, because this isn't necessarily a gift that
34:25
I've always had or it's not necessarily a gift that I've
34:28
always realized. But now I start to look back,
34:31
there was a few things that are like, oh, that could have been
34:33
that. But I had quite a dramatic
34:35
encounter a few years ago. And since that moment for me,
34:39
that has opened the door to to be able to see spirits.
34:44
And when that first happened, obviously I didn't like that.
34:49
I for like when it first happened to me and when I
34:51
started to have like those ghostly apparitions, I really
34:55
did not like the ability to see spirits.
34:58
I did not want to see a ghost. I wanted that out of my life.
35:01
I didn't want that gift. I wanted to close my mind off to
35:04
it. And I just wanted it all to go
35:05
away. And I think a lot of my music
35:09
during that period I am writing about like, my encounters of
35:14
seeing ghosts and how do I process this?
35:16
And I think when you're an artist, you will take
35:19
inspiration from everything. Like, is it someone you're
35:22
dating? Is it someone in your family?
35:24
Is it some of your like experiences growing up?
35:27
You will take inspiration from whatever you can.
35:30
And if you can't get an inspiration from the human
35:33
world, then the supernatural world is full of inspiration
35:37
because you are experiencing things that aren't normal and
35:42
aren't part of a normal everyday life.
35:44
So that elevates your mind. And I think as well, like for
35:47
someone like me, songwriting is sort of a Catholic therapeutic
35:52
kind of thing. Like if I'm feeling a certain
35:54
kind of way and I write lyrics, I write a song, then that
35:58
processes the emotion and then it's out of my system.
36:01
And I've taken that anger, that sadness, whatever emotion that
36:05
is, I've taken that out of me into this sort of song or this
36:09
video or this, this creative thing.
36:11
And I've made something good out of that or something better than
36:14
it just being an internalized. And I think when I'm
36:16
encountering spirits and things like that, it's the exact same
36:19
thing. I'm writing about how that makes
36:21
me feel. I'm writing about how weird it
36:23
is. I'm writing about how I can't
36:24
quite get my head around that and it takes it out of being my
36:28
problem. It's now out.
36:30
And I think a lot of songwriters do just use songwriting as a
36:33
tool to get their emotions out. And I think it's a valuable
36:37
thing. You know, I think it's, if I
36:39
didn't have that, I don't know how I would process.
36:41
Like I'm quite creative anyway. But I think just being able to
36:44
articulate your feelings is quite a powerful tool.
36:48
Definitely a good form of therapy and processing the
36:52
emotions, especially those heavy emotions that I imagine with
36:54
that come with experiencing ghosts or something you can't
36:58
really quite explain. Yeah.
36:59
But also I also, as well as a person, like I'm not necessarily
37:04
a talker, especially when I was younger, I couldn't exactly
37:06
articulate in a conversation if someone had annoyed me or hurt
37:09
me or so the songwriting took that place.
37:12
And of course in a song you can kind of say things and use
37:16
creative license and say things that you can't say in real life
37:19
because person probably doesn't know it's about them.
37:22
You know, it's quite, it's quite powerful.
37:23
You can be completely honest. Whereas if you were saying it to
37:27
someones face, you have to take their feelings into account and
37:31
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So yeah, it's it's a good tool.
37:35
No, definitely. And kind of on the topic of
37:38
music as well, I did want to ask about maybe Future Music that
37:41
might be coming out for you. I know you've been releasing
37:44
some singles. I thought I had read that you
37:46
said your debut album might come out next year, and I was
37:48
wondering maybe what you could say about that or if that's
37:50
still a thing or where where you got some new music coming up.
37:54
Yeah, I have a new single actually called Pandora's Box,
37:56
which is going to be out just before Halloween.
37:59
And I literally wrapped up the video sheet for that this
38:03
weekend. And because it's a Halloween
38:06
single, it's coming out right before Halloween.
38:09
I filmed it in a scare maze, which was just so fun.
38:12
I mean, if you like the kind of you have to admire the scare
38:16
actors for being in that environment, but it's sort of
38:19
like a ready made made set. And I could use that to
38:22
interpret my idea in my own way and kind of all linked together
38:26
quite nicely. And in terms of my album, I I'm
38:30
going to release my first album. This has been sort of 10 years
38:33
in the making of putting this album together.
38:35
And I think when you're an artist, you get slightly
38:37
precious about that. There's a nervousness in me,
38:40
like do I want to let my baby go?
38:42
Like, do I want to put this out there?
38:44
But yeah, 2002 thousand. Yeah, 2026 next year I will be
38:49
releasing my new album. And yeah, that's that's quite an
38:52
exciting prospect for me because obviously an album is different
38:56
from the singles and those sort of long sort of tracks that are
38:59
more of a journey, you know, those sort of 7-8 minute songs
39:03
that take you through multiple genres will be on the album.
39:06
So it will be interesting to go from releasing these sort of
39:10
like fiery little snippets to actually presenting a body of
39:14
work. And I'm nervous about it, but
39:16
I'm excited to do it. So yeah, that's going to be like
39:19
early 2026. So hopefully if people have like
39:23
have actually stuck with me through my incessant rambling of
39:26
this interview, then hopefully they will like go and have a
39:29
listen and see what they think. No, I'm sure people are very
39:33
excited. I know I'm excited to see the
39:35
album as a whole because I know with your work, it's so
39:39
intentional and everything is so thought out.
39:41
So I know the album, however it ends up looking like sounding
39:44
like, I know it's going to be very, very used.
39:46
So I'm excited to see what's in store for everybody.
39:48
Yeah. I'm excited.
39:50
And it's kind of like, yeah, you're piercing your story of
39:52
like the last goodness, how many years of your life together.
39:55
So that's why it's so nerve wracking.
39:57
I'm looking at this might be my last question that I have for
40:00
you actually, but I'm looking but and you had touched on this
40:03
earlier too, but I've always been very interested in and you
40:07
embody this so well, obviously how the more maybe spooky, I
40:11
guess, for lack of a better word, like the horror genre.
40:14
Has gone so well with alternative music like
40:17
rock'n'roll and scary concepts have always gone so well
40:21
together and it's something that you embody in your work.
40:24
And I was wondering why, in your own words, why would you say
40:27
that? Like metal music and the horror
40:29
genre, those interests, why do they go to?
40:31
Why do they go together so well, would you think?
40:34
I think it's something to do with the intensity, but there's
40:37
an intensity of visuals that goes with the intensity of the
40:41
music and that kind of like passion and that a lot of metal,
40:46
I mean, I would describe mine as like symphonic metal, like those
40:50
kind of orchestral. It's almost like movie
40:53
soundtracks when I'm talking about my music.
40:55
And obviously because we're in a genre where we're celebrating
40:58
dark, macabre, creepy, heavy, those kind of sounds, it just
41:04
seems to marry itself perfectly. You know, I know a lot of people
41:08
will create these sort of shocking horror like personas
41:12
and things, things like that, which is perfectly cool.
41:14
But I, I just hope there's an authenticity behind it, you
41:19
know? And these people are actually
41:20
interested in the horror genre. And it's not just like, oh, we
41:23
need to create an image to go with the music.
41:25
But I just, I do think they go hand in hand perfectly.
41:28
And I think that's why, you know, for me, it's kind of nice
41:31
because my audience can appreciate the horror and the
41:35
music and it kind of just fits so perfectly.
41:38
I mean, I can't speak for every single band out there, but yeah,
41:42
there is a kind of yeah, like marrying of the two, and I think
41:46
that is quite a cool thing. And like people who love 1, I
41:51
think it's interesting to people who love the one always end up
41:53
loving the other two. And so when somebody kind of
41:56
when the two combined, it's always like a really beautiful
41:58
combination. I think, I think both are quite
42:01
extreme genres, like I think horror is quite shocking, can be
42:06
quite aggressive, can be quite like in your face.
42:09
And obviously a lot of metal music is quite aggressive and
42:12
quite in your face. And it's not the, it's not kind
42:15
of nothingness music. You know, there's a heart and a
42:19
substance to it. And I think with horror there's,
42:22
you know, there's a substance or a story to it.
42:25
And I think that's why people get so into it.
42:28
Yeah, they're the most intense of their respective art forms.
42:31
When I think of intense movies, it's always horror.
42:33
When I think of intense music, it's always really metal rock
42:36
music. So it's almost.
42:38
It would almost make perfect sense for them to constantly go
42:41
together. Yeah, no, I think I agree.
42:43
I think that is there's a lot of truth in that.
42:46
Yeah. But yeah, like I said, I think
42:48
that was all my questions that I had for you.
42:50
But was there any final thoughts or anything else you maybe
42:52
wanted to add or touch on that we didn't talk about?
42:55
No, I mean, I think we really had a really good conversation.
42:58
I probably spoke too much already.
43:00
Like, I like to talk, as you can probably tell.
43:04
But no, I mean like, yeah, I really enjoyed chatting with
43:06
you, so thank you for having me. And thank you for taking the
43:09
time. I'm sure you're super busy with
43:11
everything going on for you, so I appreciate you taking the
43:13
time. I agree with a really lovely
43:15
conversation. We talked about a lot of cool
43:17
stuff. So thank you so much.
43:18
I really appreciate. It Yeah.
43:20
Thank you so much for having me. Thank you.