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I Gave Up Everything for My Family—Was It Worth It? (Beleaf Tells All) · The Table with Anthony ONeal

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, Glenn Henry.
• 0:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: People know you as belief.
• 0:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know you as my brother-in-law, and I want to get straight into a man for children.
• 0:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: 15 years of marriage to my sister.
• 0:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: My only sister.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Amazing person.
• 0:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, she is the one.
• 0:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I want to ask you this question straight out, bro.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: and marriage cost you as a man.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think individually, I think that it is cost me, I've had to be crease myself.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So because my wife met me at such a young age, and I didn't have
• 0:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: dreams goals.
• 0:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I didn't really know what I was doing except for rhyme in my little butt off.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 0:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, we kind of had to make who we were coming together.
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so a percentage of myself, I feel like I had to silence in order to be responsible because I married someone.
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I married someone before, you know, I kind of started my career.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when people talk about like, oh, I don't want to get married until I'm successful.
• 1:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to have kids until I'm ready.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to understand that.
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to understand a push-wise, you know, they don't want to do that.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: But there's something really important about growing that together.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: The problem is, I'm not just experiencing my wife as a grown woman.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also experiencing her inner child from her family of origin.
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: which you know very well.
• 1:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so a lot of the things that she had seen wouldn't allow me fully to become who I was without recognizing some of the fears and concerns she had.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So as soon as I would turn it up and get excited, I have to dim it back down because of you know what I'm saying?
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's a lot of adjustment.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I would say that being a father has cost me, being a husband has cost me, is cost me,
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: momentum yeah because and this is not for everybody I'm just saying what it would it cost me um you know I don't because I hadn't seen fatherhood in marriage close up and this is like my big issue is that we don't show enough
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know what I was responsible for.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know how to do it.
• 2:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I submitted to my wife's understanding or her fear or whatever.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just so I wasn't overwhelming her or whatever.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it did cost me a lot, but cost them worth or different.
• 2:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: that's good.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it cost me a lot.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: But to me, it was worth it because of what we are, who I'm becoming, who she's becoming, the connection and the closest we have now is worth more than the cost.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you can get momentum back, you can change your dreams, your dreams can be different.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: but like who I am because of who she's called out of me, like she called out of me something, you know what I'm saying?
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so not a lot of me or not a lot of me need that, you know, but it costs me, it costs a lot, but it's worth more.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen you make sacrifices.
• 3:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen you say no to things because you had to be a father.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: I've seen you say no to things because you had to be a husband.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And even watching you watching, like even on my best friend, pastor Stephen Chandler, man, I think that is one of my biggest fears.
• 4:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is like, what is, what is marriage and father who's going to cost me?
• 4:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not that it's stopping me from getting it.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it is like, dang, I've built a lot.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have.
• 4:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, God, I, I know it's going to cost me something.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I was God would tell me now, what would it cost to be broke?
• 4:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, well, the perfect thing is I have this book.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, father yourself first.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is...
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Put it right here, yeah, yeah, there we go right there, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm tired of men walking into fatherhood, walking into marriage, not really understanding what it's going to cost them.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the one thing that I want to say is that you are no longer the individual, the child.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: the inner child.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: You are now someone that needs to be fathered by the father.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You want to mean, and so I recognize that the more I parent my children, the more I realized I'm a better father than I am anything.
• 5:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't give my children the same grace.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I give myself.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Wow.
• 5:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I need to give the same grace to myself as I
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, what is it going to cost you here?
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think most of them think my things, my things, my ability, my dreams, I want to hold on, you start to like, why need somebody who will understand me?
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's different for you Anthony, you have been successful for a long time, you have tons of mentors, you have tons of community, you have tons of examples, but you also have your quirks.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I'm brother and law, I know Anthony, better than y'all do, Anthony goes to sleep early.
• 5:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then he got a bedtime.
• 5:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: He don't only man.
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know that guy.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: They got a bedtime.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you text me.
• 5:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, bruh, I'm in a bed.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now it's gonna cost you that.
• 6:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you being tired is nobody's concerned, nobody's business, no one cares.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, but it's not a bad thing.
• 6:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's just something that you're kind of like, oh well, I didn't realize I could be tired of my emotions.
• 6:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like you discover new ways to be like, oh, I didn't know I had feelings here.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 6:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, and so a lot of men will be like, hey, I don't do that.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to be effective if I do that.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like take a no disrespect, love, love, love.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: The cutest couple, Nelly and Ashanti.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 6:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Nelly was like, I'm not changing old diapers.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, that's what he said.
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm not doing that.
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what I do.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You go ahead and change things.
• 6:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to change some diapers, right?
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the thing is, it's not because of, that's not something I don't do.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is because there's work for you in there that is only for you to discover, right?
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a connection with, you know, the security and protection you have for your child, that only you can discover.
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like when the old didn't, I didn't want the old to cut off his hair.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he had long dreads.
• 6:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I thought I knew everything about the kid.
• 7:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I cut off his hair, and I found a birthmark on the back of his head.
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, even though he had it, as soon as he, I cut off his hair, the boy started playing hockey and smiling bigger and running faster, right?
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, so there's work for you in fatherhood that is only knitted for you.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so instead of saying, what is it going to cost me, you think about what is it, what is it worth, how, how valuable is it, right?
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, um,
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I would implore you to, you know, let go of all things, right?
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: That you think, oh, man, it's, because I'm, it's not going to cost you this.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, right, right.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your, your wife is going to meet you here, right?
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And say, hey, I know what you do.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I respect what you do.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know this is your business, but we're going to have to cut that in half, essentially, because you're going to need to make time for, you know, her and you guys want to make babies or whatever the situation is.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know?
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: real quick fam.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean this conversation with my brother-in-law is so important.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to take a break to just encourage you all to take mental health seriously.
• 8:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: As we're going into 2026, please get a copy of his book again is going to be inside the show notes.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: But once you get a copy of his book, I want you to consider
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: three therapy sessions go to anthonyl.com for slash therapy again that is anthonyl.com for slash therapy because I think as follows and even as mothers and even as sons as daughters as just people in general our greatest asset is our mind you all know me I say mind your business because you're mind
• 8:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: is your business.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if this is not right, you can't be a father.
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is not right.
• 8:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can't be an effective mother.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: If this is not right, you can't build really anything of substance because we're always battling up here.
• 8:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's true, this is all of us.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whether you're making $5 an hour to $5,000 an hour.
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're still all battling something.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: So as we are, having this conversation today, amazing conversation with my brother-in-law, Glenn, please hear me clearly.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Take your mental health seriously.
• 9:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do me a favor.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Go to anthonylo.com-4SESS therapy.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do this for yourself.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do this for your family.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do it for the people you love.
• 9:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now I promise you, I promise you, but thank you so much.
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Let's get back to the show.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Go to anthonylo.com-4SESS therapy.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're an author of this brand new book, man, and you've been growing this for a while, a long time.
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's called Father Yourself First.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Everything you need to become the father, your family deserves, in a season of and correct me if I'm wrong because you are a father.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was reading and I found a study to where we have a lot of fathers who are not present in their children's lives.
• 9:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: For whatever reason.
• 9:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know particular.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Say the whole thing.
• 9:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are you saying black fathers?
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Black fathers.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say the whole thing.
• 9:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I want to be confused.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it bothers me because my situation is different.
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I have two fathers who were very active in my life.
• 10:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so when I hear that and I see that, I'm like, I can't relate to that, because my fathers were active.
• 10:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can't relate to that as far as being a father, because you've been there from day one.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why this book broke when when you're a present father?
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Why this book father yourself first?
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was talking to I every Saturday morning.
• 10:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I open Zoom and I just have black men coming in fall apart You can say anything All they have to do is be black men who want to be fathers.
• 10:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: They can be fathers not fathers yet I don't care just black men, right?
• 10:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Charlie Kirk said black father got a problem
• 10:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: We, the home he's meet me, seven a.m. TST.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, on Zoom.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, so I sit there and I'm in the meeting and I say, hey, how many of you guys can be 100% of yourselves in your home?
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And everyone said no.
• 11:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one guy was like, man, I'm he was in his garage in his car.
• 11:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because he was like, I don't even want my wife to hear what I'm saying.
• 11:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, and I think about
• 11:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: how many fathers are better fathers than they are men?
• 11:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're, we live life, right?
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: As Black fathers, we live life in a way that is like, yo, I'm gonna pour everything into my children because of what I experience, right?
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And especially millennials, millennial dads are killing the game.
• 11:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, okay.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, we watch men kind of shuffle throughout life, pouring everything into their children.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we treat ourselves as if we're not even a part of our own families.
• 11:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so my big issue was that I'm talking to my therapist and I'm sitting there like, bro, he watches me and I record my kids and he'll say something about it.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like,
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's like, bro, why do you give us more grace to your children than you give to yourself?
• 12:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: How come you don't allow yourself to fail?
• 12:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just like you allow your kids, are you not human?
• 12:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I was just like, I am, you know what I'm saying?
• 12:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I don't know why I do that.
• 12:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was like, when I think you deserve that.
• 12:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think for a long time, I was expecting my dad to show up in a certain way.
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 12:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or my mom and they kind of like, now they get it, and I realize that I am the father I respect.
• 12:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I am him, you're not in the arrogant way, but like, no, I really am someone that is intentional with my words, my time, how my children think, if I tell them something and they react in their face, I go, what is that expression?
• 12:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's talk about it.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on?
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Am I tripping?
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'm off.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me know.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can I do better?
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 12:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I am that.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then you get to a point now where we're, you know, I'll 40, you, I'm not going to say eight.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if you 41.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, 41.
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we are now in a space where our parents are looking at us, you know, and we're kind of the role models.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I was talking to, um,
• 13:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I saw my therapist, I'm like, bro, like, my dad has me in a way that I've never had him.
• 13:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm jealous.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I'm jealous.
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, and I go bro, I think I need help because I feel like this is a maturity and me, I shouldn't act like this.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was like, no, bro, both things can be true.
• 13:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can mourn for that.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, who better than you?
• 13:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, that's good.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: As much as I look up to myself as a father, I want to look up to myself as a man, the same way.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I deserve that love.
• 13:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right.
• 13:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, man, the book is really important, but black fatherhood.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: is is is even more important to me.
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, they say, you know, in slavery, during slavery, they rip the family as a part.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: They took the men and they sold them, took the children, they sold them, they breed it as they, you know, I'm saying they separated the family.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: They knew the damage it would do.
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: They also knew the power.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It helped about a family, a connected group.
• 14:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so right now, we have so many diaspora wars.
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have the gender wars, saying in a black community, I'm just kind of like, yo, we need to get back to focus on the leader of the home.
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's really the men.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: They most home.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And calling them to be men of integrity, men of character, but also men
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: that can be a light in the community.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Do you believe Charlie Kirk's statement, as far as we have a problem in black, fatherhood?
• 14:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hell no.
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: I believe that, no one ever says the same statistics for Mexican people.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: No one ever talks about white fathers.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: No one ever talks about
• 15:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: you know, how many children are left to be groomed in all these different communities.
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks.
• 15:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: No one ever talks about that.
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's always black people.
• 15:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's always us, right?
• 15:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then we were we overparent when we be on Sanders.
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: then we overparent when we've Richard Williams.
• 15:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Come on, man.
• 15:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 15:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: We overparent when we, when we love our ball.
• 15:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you're a present, when you're active present and protecting, but anybody's saying nothing about all the white dance, pulling the strings, paying man, paying manning, and all them people, that he's pulling strings behind the scenes.
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Harvard.
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, man, a LeBron James son is, that's, I never heard of a nepotism until I started seeing black people succeed.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: You need us, you need a subject to pick on.
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy.
• 16:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But you know what I'm saying?
• 16:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the problem.
• 16:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's like, everybody wants to pick on black people, but nobody wants to allow us to be ourselves.
• 16:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: They want to tell our own stories.
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want us to write our stories.
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want us to leave Rose.
• 16:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remember what I'm back in the day we used to have all these black films?
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the man, the wood, all that stuff.
• 16:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Where's all of that now?
• 16:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: We ain't saying that.
• 16:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: We ain't seen it no more.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So they're trying to take our stories away.
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're trying to take the narrative away.
• 16:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because they can talk about black fatherhood for years.
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: They could talk, that's already even talking about, but I'm gonna tell you this, if it wasn't for the Black Father, I see Chris Hale, you know, my best friend, as a kid sitting here, you know, who's in the hospital right now.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, he, he was the proof of Black Fatherhood.
• 16:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've never seen this.
• 16:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: My dad lived in California, my mom and Baltimore.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: We lived on a top floor, sitting here, and his family lived on a bottom floor.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I've never seen a man play with his children.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: and braces children to tell I love you son.
• 16:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: He would even brace me, I love you Glenn.
• 16:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Call me Dr. Glenn.
• 16:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: My whole life, he's been a pseudo father for me.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, they're all good fathers out there.
• 17:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: We just need more proof.
• 17:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: I, here's my thing, and I like how you said that.
• 17:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think there are more good fathers and there are bad fathers, just the bad fathers, unfortunately, make all the noise.
• 17:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: They make the news, you know what I'm saying?
• 17:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because it's like,
• 17:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, let's go here, you built a brand awful father, and we've seen you get attacked for having my nephews and niece online.
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 17:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it's like, as an uncle, I never saw it as a problem because you're being the example that black men need to see proof.
• 17:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to talk about that.
• 17:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, why is that such an issue today for people who say, Glenn, you shouldn't have DO, you're right, Anaya, and Uzi online?
• 17:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: There are three things, right?
• 18:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there's a big push between it's called sharing things.
• 18:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sharing to sharing things, it's parenting, but you're sharing everything.
• 18:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so there is it's a really valid argument, okay, right?
• 18:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So they, whoever the hell that is,
• 18:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: have decided that sharing thing is bad.
• 18:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, do you think they are the black day or the white day?
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Or do you think it'd be a mixture of both?
• 18:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so now you're talking to a spit conspiracy theorist.
• 18:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's a little more important.
• 18:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I know that I know that there's a thing.
• 18:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now here's what I think.
• 18:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: So,
• 18:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a big push, parenting, they're saying, don't do it because it can expose your child's location, and people can harm them.
• 18:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: It, kids can, you know, there's identity theft, right?
• 18:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: People can steal your kids' identity and say things and say they did things.
• 18:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there's also a AI deep fake where people can put them into sexual content, right?
• 18:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: These are the big things, right?
• 18:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: The big no-nose.
• 18:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So,
• 19:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what people are saying is that don't share your kids because of fear of these things.
• 19:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I completely understand that.
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: People come to me with those same arguments.
• 19:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm a little bit different.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a digital storyteller.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we are, my kids have acted in, you know, nationally syndicated commercial super or commercial all that stuff.
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, so we have a little bit of a different thing.
• 19:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: But even still,
• 19:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: It kind of gives me like, oh well, don't do this because they're bad people out there, right?
• 19:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: which also was kind of like the same argument when women want to dress how they want to dress and then they're like, well, you know, men don't dress like that if you don't want that type of attention.
• 19:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not fair.
• 19:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So now we're saying that faces, children's faces are now somehow, you know, danger, like it's danger to put them out there.
• 19:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: That other point, you know what I'm saying?
• 19:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I let y'all have that.
• 19:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who is responsible then for telling the story of the children?
• 19:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are we gonna give that all over to AI?
• 19:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Are we gonna give it over to the media conglomerates?
• 20:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who's running that?
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: are we not allowed to tell our own stories, right?
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: So then it's like, I completely understand the argument, but let's not front and think that we are concerned about children, because that's what it seems like.
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It seems like everybody is like, we got to protect the kids.
• 20:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: But nobody's saying that when it was votein' for 47.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You understand me?
• 20:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: So if you really wanted to protect kids, you would vote differently.
• 20:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Man, I don't think you will be able to put this one up.
• 20:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 20:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you really want to protect kids, you wouldn't move differently.
• 20:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: There would be a lot of people in your family that ain't outside.
• 20:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You understand me?
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: There would be a lot of uncles in jail.
• 20:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like if you really wanted to protect kids, so I'm like, let's, let's call it what it is.
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's something trying to control how stories are being told, how things are being shared.
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, what all that being said, there are some yucky people out there who are exposing their kids for whatever reason, just for like just the shares, just for attention.
• 20:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't think that's right.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't understand, but I can't tell somebody how to do that.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now they're trying to say it's naughty and it's canceledable to post your children online.
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I respect it.
• 21:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I lost a lot of followers just because people just kind of woke up to be in like, yeah, this is wrong.
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay with that.
• 21:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: But some people,
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: won't, wouldn't even have kids if they didn't see us.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: No.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to mean like, there are people who are kind of like, yo, you proved to me that I could be a parent.
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 21:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to mean so, which is good for society, because we have good people, having good babies, making,
• 21:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: the communities better, it changes the world.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we meet more proof, but at the same time, you want us not to share our authentic stories.
• 21:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then it's like, bro, we grew up watching shows that inspired us.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like family shows.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
• 21:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: We kid exactly, right?
• 21:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know how many people went to college because of a different world in the cause we show.
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Family matters.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Family matters.
• 21:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 22:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Fresh Pres, even though it was like a fair tale.
• 22:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, even Martin, you know what I'm saying?
• 22:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: But everybody doesn't live, you know, in the cosmic show or the good times.
• 22:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 22:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not, there's a medium, regular, ashy, black, beautiful, you know, whimsical.
• 22:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 22:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, it's a regular life out there that should be publicized, because
• 22:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: We watched and I felt, it had no problems.
• 22:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Zero, zero.
• 22:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, and they snatch living singles from us.
• 22:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: They, you know what I'm saying?
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yo, what's up, my name is Glenn Henry.
• 22:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just dropped this book, Father, yourself first, and I'm so glad to put it into your hands.
• 22:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I never wanted to be a father until I saw a proof of good fatherhood.
• 22:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then once I started being a father, I realized I deserve the sing love, grace, and support my children.
• 22:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, if you know any man that ends the coming of father, not a father yet, or maybe I had enough proof of good fatherhood.
• 22:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: by this book for them.
• 22:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.
• 22:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: And here's the thing without putting...
• 22:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'm saying, your family, our family out there, your children's financial future is different because of the foundation that you built.
• 23:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
• 23:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, your kids are going to be far way ahead than way, then how we started out, how you vet started out, how my other brother John started out.
• 23:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, when I look at my nephews and lese, because of belief in fatherhood and because of their foundation that you've laid,
• 23:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: their financial futures, as long as they, let's, what, what you and he vet give, what I give them with their 529s, you know, it's like, their future is set.
• 23:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, how can we not that?
• 23:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Bro, let me tell you something.
• 23:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not only are their future set financially, their minds are set.
• 23:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you understand my son?
• 23:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Watched Mighty Ducks one time?
• 23:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: He bought his own roller blades, brought his own hockey stick at seven years old, went to the backyard and started shooting.
• 23:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: We went to the community.
• 23:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: We got him in a low hockey league.
• 24:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: He looked crazy as I don't know what, cause none of his gear fit.
• 24:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: He started playing.
• 24:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 24:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got a little nice.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 24:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you know that the NHL brought that Stanley Cup to my living room?
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Bro.
• 24:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: and put it in front of my son and he thinks different.
• 24:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I watched the trophy shine off his face.
• 24:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know my dad, my dad's been a hockey fan for years.
• 24:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It skipped the generation.
• 24:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I could care less.
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: My dad got to see it as well.
• 24:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know we went to the end, we went to the...
• 24:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was saying, did anybody fly all out?
• 24:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: We went, yeah, we went to game three at NHL final.
• 24:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because of...
• 24:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: the storytelling ability now you've got a kid on a lot thinking yeah of course of court rise like wouldn't be going me stuff curry and I was like man I wanted me some old bows when it's happening that you got to understand they have they think we are in proximity because of what we've done yeah so
• 24:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Excuse me if I shine right right you know what I'm saying like go ahead It like light is gonna shine anyway, even if I'm not posting it on camera right when I walk through the city Walk through the neighborhood people are attracted to light.
• 24:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they see how our kids and a rat you know what I mean So I'm not I'm not interested in living and fear.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do that.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 25:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, and I want to encourage you because I have seen you
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: kind of maneuver, you know, and I think that's, I respect you even more for that.
• 25:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: You any vet because now it's like you, you get consent from the kids.
• 25:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 25:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we have the consent meetings.
• 25:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have the consent meetings.
• 25:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, I think that's important because now it's like, okay, but it's like this, Matt, and again, I don't have kids.
• 25:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: So, correct me from wrong, but it's like,
• 25:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: belief in fatherhood.
• 25:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: We don't have good examples with black men being fathers.
• 25:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: You did something that 90% of black men would not do.
• 25:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: You, you stayed home to raise your black boys while your wife went out there to work.
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Glenn, I don't know if I can do that.
• 25:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 25:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: But seeing you do it,
• 26:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: When you look at your kids, your kids are smart, bro.
• 26:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 26:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: They're just not good kids, but they're smart kids.
• 26:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, I have,
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know, a Theo and you riot my house for a whole week.
• 26:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: A whole week.
• 26:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm working.
• 26:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you were worried.
• 26:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was worried.
• 26:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Tell me why.
• 26:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because they're kids.
• 26:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
• 26:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I got kids by myself, right?
• 26:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And these are not just kids.
• 26:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: These are my blood.
• 26:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 26:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: These are, you know, Theo, you're riot.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, okay, how is this going to go?
• 26:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 26:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would say it was so much easier because of the foundation that the parents did, but bro, how was you right now?
• 26:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: 11?
• 26:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: 11.
• 26:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's 11.
• 26:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's 11.
• 26:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so tell him what happened.
• 26:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm about to.
• 26:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, hey, y'all, I'm going to certain diet.
• 26:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we got to cook.
• 27:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: And you're right.
• 27:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, okay.
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like,
• 27:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 27:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we go to the store.
• 27:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: We buy steak.
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your ride is helping me pick out the stuff at all my ride.
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: What's up?
• 27:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was like, okay, Anthony.
• 27:16
  [UNKNOWN]: I cook.
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 27:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I was like, you what?
• 27:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: This man knows how to check the temperature of the state.
• 27:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: This man knows how to put the seasoning on the state.
• 27:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm in my office, and I'm like, Aira, can you check the state?
• 27:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: He goes out, pulls the chair up on the grill, opens it up, comes back again.
• 27:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'll get in there.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think he's about like 10 or minutes.
• 27:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's like 10 more minutes.
• 27:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Bro, I promise you, you riot cooked for me and Theo about three of those days.
• 27:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: I never touched the food.
• 27:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: And yeah.
• 27:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is an 11 year old.
• 27:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 27:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, why don't you cook?
• 27:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then this is, now this is what got me.
• 28:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now this is what, this is what baffled me.
• 28:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, okay, wait, wait, wait, this is different.
• 28:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: And this is why I'm saying belief in fatherhood needs to be out there.
• 28:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's about 10 o'clock at night.
• 28:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna let y'all chill and get away with things.
• 28:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Cause you know, your daddy ain't here, your mommy ain't here, so you be straight.
• 28:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 28:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: 10 o'clock at night I come up the lights are on you like oh suspicious.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm suspicious.
• 28:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 28:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I walk in Tell me why do both of them have books in their hand no TV no Netflix They're reading at 10 o'clock at night without mom without dad.
• 28:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I walk in I said y'all straight I was like What are you ready you need to talk to the name of the book and I was like
• 28:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like you like reading, and it was like, yeah, you know, like reading on the other day, that was like, nah, yeah, I don't, and I've written books, yeah.
• 29:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I don't enjoy it, and I'm like,
• 29:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: But bro, that's simply because of the father and then the mother that they had.
• 29:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that story needs to be shown because how many parents would love for their kids at 10 years old, would prefer reading than being on their iPad.
• 29:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you know what's cooked so crazy though?
• 29:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, I realized that at some point, because your riot is my,
• 29:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's the hardest to connect with.
• 29:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes.
• 29:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because he's right, just different.
• 29:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: He is.
• 29:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: He needs a lot of hugs.
• 29:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like when he came back, you wouldn't give him no hugs next time.
• 29:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: He came back, he was like, mom, can I have a hug?
• 29:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't get any hugs, but I was gone.
• 29:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to need to, I don't put Anthony got some squeezes, but it's like, you got to be like 10 seconds.
• 29:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: He wants you to squeeze him.
• 29:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: OK.
• 29:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So Ryan has a lot of, he needs affection overwhelming.
• 29:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so, because I'm not like that, like sometimes it's hard to figure out find out ways to connect.
• 30:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I realize that each of my children are inviting me to a certain experience.
• 30:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is in the book, right, except the invitation.
• 30:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Each of my children inviting me to connect with them.
• 30:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ozee, cut a link right now, Anaya, art, she's all into art and crafts, Yuraya, cooking, and Theo in the sports gaming competition.
• 30:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I definitely, right.
• 30:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm all, like, I'm, I'm being invited.
• 30:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: These invitations don't last long.
• 30:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: They will end.
• 30:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So right now, the big journey me and right on is cooking.
• 30:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: we love cooking.
• 30:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's going to, you know, he's cooked the meal for some of this favorite wrappers.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: We spend a lot of time in the kitchen.
• 30:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's about to start his own cooking show where he's wrapping and cooking at the same time.
• 30:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's something a seed that I saw, something very small and I'm just pulling the string.
• 30:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to get I want to get all that out because right now I have the time yeah right I can allow my desire might my my ability right because right you might want to do some later I don't know how to do right now.
• 31:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I could teach you so you're going to be cooking fries from scratch burgers from scratch steak You won't learn how to you know saute vegetables.
• 31:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah
• 31:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean, he's, you know, asking me about spider strainers and all types of stuff and you know what I'm saying like he wants his own gear his own apron like so I'm like yeah, of course Yes, and because even though it's gives me anxiety to let him in the kitchen.
• 31:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because you know it's a child It's a child, right?
• 31:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: He can leave you you can start a fire.
• 31:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I know that
• 31:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: the access that he has is everything to him and so that's a gift that I can give in a way I can trust him and it's such a beautiful thing, bro.
• 31:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's in his with all the kids, you know, feels about turn 13.
• 31:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I read a book that's also a good book by John Tyson, it's called
• 31:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Man, it's called the intentional father.
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and the book he talks about when you know when boys turn 13 they should go on like write a passage type of type of attorney.
• 32:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I pass it and so You know because the only thing we celebrate is when they turn 16 and they can drive around it turn 21 they can drink.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then after that, it's kind of like, you know, but women, they get debutant balls, and sometimes they get sweet 16, you know what I'm saying?
• 32:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: So this year, me and Theo are gonna go on adventure, just me and for his birthday.
• 32:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's so, um, because I want him to understand, you know, as he walks into manhood, and, you know, I want him to understand the power that we put us inside of him.
• 32:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: I must speak life over these kids.
• 32:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want it to be normal.
• 32:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And there's something else I'm gonna do.
• 32:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna show you how to do it.
• 32:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: on a camera so that God forbid something ever happens to me, you know how to do it.
• 32:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know how to care and love for the kids, you like, even because I have a mentor, I'm gonna eat that as a mentor, I've kind of stolen.
• 32:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he was Tico, her husband is so good to her.
• 32:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right?
• 33:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: She tells me things that her husband does, and because I know who her husband is,
• 33:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I set up my life so that if he, like, I can support her, right?
• 33:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, we were at some event.
• 33:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't want to get out the car because we like downtown LA.
• 33:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's like, I don't know where I'm at.
• 33:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 33:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, I went to go get her.
• 33:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 33:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because her husband would have did that.
• 33:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 33:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, like, that type of proof I need to keep seeing it.
• 33:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm still trying to prove what the family looks like.
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, sir.
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 33:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, if you have a light, where's my camera?
• 33:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you have a light,
• 33:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to shine it, right?
• 33:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to live out loud.
• 33:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're going to have to prove father's good father's good mother's exist.
• 33:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you're going to have to follow yourself first.
• 33:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 33:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah, bro.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm super grateful for you, not you like, you know, you are proving a lot to a lot of people, right?
• 33:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you give people access abundantly by bringing all these people on your platform.
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, I know that you're gonna be a great father.
• 34:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I know you're gonna be a great husband because all you have around you are great examples.
• 34:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 34:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You surround yourself with almost a mastermind group of people who are just, you know, a little well.
• 34:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
• 34:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even people that aren't so hot in one area, you're taking the good.
• 34:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I sure, right?
• 34:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 34:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's all very proud of you for that, bro.
• 34:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sure, man.
• 34:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for doing that, my nephews.
• 34:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I was so funny.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: When I was working for Ramsey Solutions, the guy that was leading the personality team impact of my life tremendously, his son was turning 13.
• 34:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he was leaving work for three days.
• 34:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: He said, he and the son are going to the mountains and they're going to talk about manhood and sexual purity.
• 34:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I looked at him as I sex at 13.
• 35:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he gave me this look, he didn't have to talk with your dad at 13.
• 35:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm sorry, I said, hell no, to be honest, I haven't had to talk about sex period with his parents until I had sex.
• 35:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: And he pretty much gave me this conviction, he and his wife were abstaining until they got married.
• 35:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: All of his children and versions, I think he just had two of his children, I mean, I know one of them got married.
• 35:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: She was a virgin and I'm pretty sure his other boys are a virgin, but he was like, man, that's important to me.
• 35:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I will leave all this and he, just like what you're going to do with the yo, he and his son left went up to the mountains and they had a Bible study.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: about manhood and about abstaining and the importance of sex.
• 35:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: And one of the things that he said is, I said, man, I want to do that with my son, if I'm blessed to have it, because if I could take back anything, man, I wish I would have done things differently with myself, right?
• 36:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: But he said, I don't want to scare.
• 36:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I want him to know sex is amazing, but it's amazingly
• 36:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're going hell, you're right, you know, if you'll be a legend, you're going hell You don't get an STD and you're right.
• 36:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're pregnant and you don't know you may die because it is like
• 36:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: No sex is amazing, but I think if someone would have educated, my sister was the only one who abstained.
• 36:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for that.
• 36:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And we've seen your stories on that journey.
• 36:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think you experienced that journey because our parents unfortunately, which I love our parents, didn't really educate us on sex, they didn't educate even on sex.
• 36:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think that we wish it's fearful.
• 36:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: fear that he vet to abstain, but then because of that fear, it impacted y'all's Mary trickled in.
• 36:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: It was a lot.
• 36:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 36:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: Fear, but also because of my impurity as well.
• 36:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
• 37:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 37:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Facts.
• 37:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 37:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: But you say you and John, what happened?
• 37:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: But me and John, we went opposite.
• 37:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: We just we just became Negroes.
• 37:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: You, that's just beyond.
• 37:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you just, we ran into it since we were pushed away from it.
• 37:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: We, we pushed our way into it.
• 37:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then my brother's first marriage on proud of him.
• 37:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: He married a virgin, and he had a similar story like you.
• 37:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, man, but I just think that fatherhood as we.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Come to the angles.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're way over time.
• 37:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I know.
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, which we have more time, but we're trying to get to it.
• 37:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to say something.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yo, yo.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to say something.
• 37:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so sorry.
• 37:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 37:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because we just had the sex talk with an Ion Ozee.
• 37:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: For real?
• 37:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 37:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: An Ion Ozee.
• 37:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: An Ion Ozee.
• 37:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So they're not even 10.
• 37:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, an Ion Ozee is five.
• 37:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Five.
• 37:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Six, six, yeah.
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, we have those conversations early and we keep having them.
• 37:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
• 37:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 37:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: As a father, why is that important at five?
• 37:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, because children need to know one would his healthy touch with the importance of what sex is about, right, the fact that grown-ups need their own personal time to connect, you know, an eye, I mean, it was hilarious.
• 38:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, we were all the dinner table and Theo spilled the beans.
• 38:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remember how job tried to spill the beans at your house a long time ago?
• 38:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: He didn't say exact same thing.
• 38:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then an eye was like, wait, the penis comes off?
• 38:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's it!
• 38:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: How does it get in there?
• 38:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: So like, bro, it was crazy.
• 38:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was crazy, bro.
• 38:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah, bro, I got a video on my show.
• 38:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's hilarious.
• 38:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's hilarious.
• 38:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, like, we gotta understand, like, the reason why it's important is because,
• 38:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't, you want to be the first person to introduce your children to these concepts.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you are not, you're giving away authority to someone else.
• 38:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: To teach them what's right and wrong, what's normal?
• 38:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because my cousin's told me, and I was, you know, is at 10 years old,
• 38:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ten o'clock you will be your HBO trying to see do it.
• 39:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Uh-oh, yeah See some strange you know, I'm saying you like oh, that's a mess, right?
• 39:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, they got to see you know what I'm saying like that's what we was doing at ten o'clock My children don't have the experience.
• 39:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: They already know They're not curious
• 39:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're not curious, and when they ask, I tell them, hey man, this will happen.
• 39:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, some people have unnatural desires.
• 39:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: They want to, you know what I'm saying?
• 39:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Mess around with kids.
• 39:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think you too understand, like, some people will try to convince you to give them my hug and they'll hold a whole, whole two won't.
• 39:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right, they'll touch you here.
• 39:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: They'll tell you to keep a secret.
• 39:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't keep secrets.
• 39:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's so good.
• 39:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
• 39:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what's important to tell them early?
• 39:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 39:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sorry, man, I know we're going over time.
• 39:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think that's important.
• 39:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's a whole another conversation.
• 39:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think you and you vet need to have on, yes, y'all's platform on how to have that conversation in a healthy way with children, especially in this sick generation and sick times when we're seeing a lot of this stuff come up.
• 39:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: I commend, I commend, I commend that, bro, for having that conversation early.
• 40:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if I'm blessed to have kids, but please believe you, you've had am a little brother, who's raising a new born.
• 40:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm definitely going to begin with them.
• 40:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: But father yourself first is available on Amazon everywhere, everywhere, right?
• 40:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Everywhere.
• 40:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: All the bookstores.
• 40:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: You even going around the bookstores and signings.
• 40:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
• 40:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 40:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so he signed mine this morning.
• 40:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I bought my copy.
• 40:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 40:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because it's my brother-in-law.
• 40:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I want to contribute to the family having read it yet, you know, because I think for me when I re-stop like this, I get a little emotional to be honest, because I'm not a father.
• 40:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: You feel like you miss something?
• 40:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
• 40:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm a read it, though, because there's my brother, and I want to encourage you, if you are a father, if you know a father, this will be a great Christmas gift, and I would encourage you to get it.
• 41:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you're definitely in the California area,
• 41:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Baltimore area.
• 41:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know he's going around sign some books.
• 41:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we go to book books a million and a Barnes and Noble Go and air see we can get the book because you may find a sign copy, especially in the California area Amen and we're going to put a link below to the Zoom cardity does every Saturday because I think that's important for black man to get around other black man because I'm telling you man Being a black man and being a vulnerable black man is hard in 2025
• 41:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I had a young lady that we didn't work out because I was vulnerable, literally told me that, literally told me she was too vulnerable for me and I was like, okay, I apologize and she literally told me that I sound crazy.
• 41:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm like, okay, and I say that because you riot said something to another day when I was home was like, am I dead?
• 41:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he mentioned something to my vulnerability and being vulnerable and crying and it's okay to have tears.
• 42:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, we need more black men or being taught by other black men.
• 42:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is safe to be vulnerable and to have feelings and express your feelings while still also being the man.
• 42:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the reason why we need that more is because if you see a black man just crying in the middle of the street or just out on the sidewalk, some people will call the police, they say something is mentally wrong with them, as we haven't seen it enough, we haven't seen it so we need to normalize, we need to normalize black life period, but black man need a safe place to fall apart and that's what we do on Saturday morning.
• 42:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what, I think we're going to do a, I'm going to fly you back in for this one.
• 42:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'll take up a cause.
• 42:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: I want to do a conversation with Black men today and really open up the door for ladies, for other men to see Black men, because it's like, I think we deal a lot when it comes to vulnerability.
• 43:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have this generation of ladies saying they don't need black men anymore.
• 43:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then it's like men are defined by how much they can pay and provide.
• 43:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: Then some men just feel, I mean, it's just, there's so much that we deal with that.
• 43:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, I get nervous dating because I do ask myself what you ask of the black man, like, you know, can I be my true authentic self around you?
• 43:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh, uh, can I be flawed?
• 43:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Uh, do I have to be Superman?
• 43:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can I just be Clark Kent?
• 43:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.
• 43:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Can I just be Anthony O'Neill, not A.O.
• 43:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Uh-huh.
• 43:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes more than often, I don't feel as if I can.
• 43:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: You deserve that right you deserve to be a hundred percent of yourself.
• 43:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to and you and whoever you accept Should be a hundred percent of her so now sometimes You don't know how much to give win Sometimes I got to turn myself down so my wife could be herself like it happened Good bro, but I do believe that there's another conversation we can have and I feel like we get it
• 44:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: We have plenty of conversations because every time we come here we run over time.
• 44:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but let's let's end because I know Mum and I got to go.
• 44:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: You got to go man.
• 44:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're praying at the time of this recording when a Glenn's best friends is who's in a book is unfortunately in the hospital.
• 44:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: So we're praying for him and a family.
• 44:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if there's there's an update by the time this comes out, we'll make sure that put a plug in for for you all, but man, we're praying for uh, sitting at your boy, man.
• 44:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, thank you.
• 44:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And that's your family.
• 44:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if your family's watching, we're praying for all of you all here.
• 44:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm so.
• 44:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Well, where were time?
• 44:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: Y'all, we're going to put a link to his book inside of the show notes.
• 44:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is father of yourself.
• 44:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: First, it's Belopon all platforms, all your bookstores.
• 44:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're also going to drop that link to where you just want to go in there and just check out a link on the Saturday morning.
• 44:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're a black father or want to be a black father, check it out.
• 45:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right, y'all.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: God bless you.
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: We'll see you in the next show.
• 45:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Peace out.
• 45:05
  [UNKNOWN]: Peace.