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Are Weekends Making Your ADHD Child's Behavior Worse? Why Monday Mornings Are So Hard · Raising ADHD: Real Talk For Parents & Educators

• 0:00
  Apryl: I Today I'm gonna ask you a slightly uncomfortable question, but I ask this with a lot of compassion and absolutely zero judgment.
• 1:54
  Apryl: Are you totally unintentionally making your ADHD child's behavior worse by what you're doing on the weekend?
• 2:02
  Apryl: Here's what we're going to cover in today's episode.
• 2:05
  Apryl: We're gonna look at why ADHD kids start the weekend already exhausted at the nervous system level.
• 2:11
  Apryl: We're gonna talk about how overscheduling and underscheduling can backfire depending on your child's personality.
• 2:18
  Apryl: And you're gonna walk away with one simple weekend check-in you can use to design rest and fun in a way that actually supports their brain, your brain, and your entire family as a whole.
• 2:32
  Apryl: To get started, we need to first talk about what is actually happening by Friday.
• 2:42
  Apryl: And we are in summer right now, so it may be a little different, but we're definitely going back into the school year.
• 2:49
  Apryl: And I don't know about you, but I feel like this is like the slippery slide where all of a sudden summer felt forever long, and now all of a sudden you're like, oh my gosh, we only have like two weeks left of summer.
• 3:00
  Apryl: Where did it go?
• 3:01
  Apryl: So if that's you, I want you also thinking about this from that going back to school schedule and especially these first weeks of school and how exhausting this can be.
• 3:12
  Apryl: When your kiddos in school, they've just spent five days holding it all together at school, following directions, sitting when their body wants to move, managing loud rooms, reading social cues, remembering rules they didn't make, doing work that might not match their brain.
• 3:30
  Apryl: That is all extra work from ADHD nervous system.
• 3:35
  Apryl: Researchers talk about stress-related fragility in ADHD.
• 3:41
  Apryl: Kids with ADHD report higher perceived stress and carry more nervous system load than their neurotypical peers.
• 3:49
  Apryl: You may already see the after-school restraint collapse at your house.
• 3:54
  Apryl: They walk through the door and then everything spills out.
• 3:58
  Apryl: That collapse doesn't magically reset by Saturday morning.
• 4:03
  Apryl: They are not starting the weekend fresh.
• 4:07
  Apryl: They are starting it in a regulation debt.
• 4:11
  Apryl: So I want you to think about that as you think about your weekends, your kiddo is starting at a regulation debt.
• 4:19
  Apryl: And I think when we think about this as adults, and if you are a neurodivergent adult, you feel this even more.
• 4:26
  Apryl: By time Friday night comes, it's like there's a reason why.
• 4:32
  Apryl: Um, I don't know if you remember, if you, depending on your age, TGIF, thank God it's Friday, right?
• 4:39
  Apryl: When it comes, that's how you feel.
• 4:42
  Apryl: It's like, oh my gosh, it's finally here, right?
• 4:44
  Apryl: The weekend is here.
• 4:45
  Apryl: And then you too are feeling that debt of the entire week, right?
• 4:52
  Apryl: The week of work, the stress of work.
• 4:54
  Apryl: The same thing is true for your kiddo.
• 4:57
  Apryl: So remember that is that they are starting in a regulation debt.
• 5:02
  Apryl: Most of us respond to that debt with really good intentions.
• 5:06
  Apryl: We think they need structure.
• 5:08
  Apryl: We hear this all the time.
• 5:09
  Apryl: Kids with ADHD thrive on structure.
• 5:12
  Apryl: We they have structure during the school week.
• 5:16
  Apryl: So on the weekend, let's keep them busy.
• 5:18
  Apryl: Let's give them the structure that they need.
• 5:20
  Apryl: We'll just keep them go, go, go, right?
• 5:23
  Apryl: Pedal to the metal till they their head hits the pillow on Sunday night.
• 5:27
  Apryl: We are, and then we're off to school the next day.
• 5:30
  Apryl: Or we may think they need enrichment and social practice.
• 5:33
  Apryl: So we sign them up for the sports, the parties, the outings, and we are running from soccer practice to t ball practice to the block party to the birthday party to the movies to the roller skating rink, all the places.
• 5:48
  Apryl: Or we don't want them on screens all weekend, so we fill the calendar.
• 5:54
  Apryl: But here's the trap to that when the weekday is already maxing out their nervous system, a packed weekend, even if it's really fun things, can feel like more of the same.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: No break, no recalibration, and no genuine rest.
• 6:16
  Apryl: To start this episode, I want to tell a little story of where this came from and the light bulb moment for me.
• 6:25
  Apryl: So my daughter is totally a chill at home girl.
• 6:31
  Apryl: When she gets home from school, she will ask, Can I put on my pajamas?
• 6:36
  Apryl: And if we have nowhere to go, I'll be like, sure, go ahead, put on your pajamas.
• 6:39
  Apryl: That's fine.
• 6:40
  Apryl: And on the weekends, when we are like, okay, we're going here, we're going here, she'll be like, I just want to chill.
• 6:47
  Apryl: And then even if it's like three fourths of the day on a Saturday and not even Sunday, she'll be like, she always blames her dad.
• 6:54
  Apryl: Poor Brian gets the brunt of things.
• 6:56
  Apryl: She's like, Dad took up my whole weekend.
• 6:59
  Apryl: Because I don't know if it's because he's the one driving why she says this.
• 7:02
  Apryl: I don't know.
• 7:02
  Apryl: But it's always dad's fault that he took up her whole weekend.
• 7:05
  Apryl: And she complains about it.
• 7:07
  Apryl: And what's funny is my son, when he was little, he was totally opposite.
• 7:13
  Apryl: If we did not go and do something like both days on the weekend, and on Sunday nights, when I would tell him, hey, it's time to get ready for school.
• 7:22
  Apryl: Let's get in the tub.
• 7:23
  Apryl: Let's get, you know, ready for bed because you have school tomorrow.
• 7:25
  Apryl: He'd be like, but wait, we didn't even do anything fun this weekend.
• 7:29
  Apryl: Totally opposite kids here.
• 7:31
  Apryl: And I was talking to my friend Mary, and I was telling her, you know, like, Audley just loves to chill at home.
• 7:38
  Apryl: Like that is her place.
• 7:40
  Apryl: And I will say, I was saying this from a place of I kind of felt like I was failing.
• 7:46
  Apryl: Like I should be pushing her out the door and forcing her to go do things all weekend long.
• 7:52
  Apryl: And what Mary said to me in this moment was a light bulb to me.
• 7:56
  Apryl: And I went, you know what?
• 7:57
  Apryl: I think you're right.
• 7:58
  Apryl: And she said to me, maybe that's the way that her brain recoupes after the week of school.
• 8:06
  Apryl: And I was like, I think you might be right.
• 8:08
  Apryl: And so that's what I've noticed.
• 8:11
  Apryl: I mean, this was months ago that she said this to me, maybe even over a year ago.
• 8:15
  Apryl: And I've noticed that that is Odilie needs the weekend as a pause and reset time.
• 8:24
  Apryl: So as we go through this episode today, I want you to start paying attention to and thinking about what your kid naturally gravitate toward on the weekends.
• 8:35
  Apryl: We're gonna get into this later into the show.
• 8:37
  Apryl: We're gonna walk through a whole process of how to design your weekend around your kiddo, you, your family, all of those things.
• 8:43
  Apryl: But that was just a light bulb moment for me that I went, oh my goodness, this is something to pay attention to.
• 8:51
  Apryl: So in today's episode, we're going to look at three things.
• 8:56
  Apryl: We're gonna look at why ADHD kids start the weekend already exhausted at a nervous system level.
• 9:02
  Apryl: We're gonna talk about how overscheduling or underscheduling, just like my kiddos, both of them had different needs, can backfire depending on your child's personality.
• 9:11
  Apryl: And one simple weekend check-in you can use to design rest and fun in a way that actually supports their brain, your brain, and the whole family's rest and recover styles.
• 9:23
  Apryl: So let's dive into why the weekends don't start at zero.
• 9:29
  Apryl: First, we need to talk about what's actually happening by Friday.
• 9:33
  Apryl: Now, granted, when you listen to this, your kid is probably still in summer mode, but school is creeping up on us very quickly.
• 9:43
  Apryl: So I want you to also think of this foreshadowing for this school year because I think it's going to help you prepare for that school year coming and start to prepare, looking at, okay, maybe we need to transition our weekends a bit during the summer so that we can get used to it for the school year.
• 10:02
  Apryl: When your kiddos in school, and depending on what they do during the summer, maybe they're going to daycare, maybe they're going to camp.
• 10:09
  Apryl: It depends on your kid and your family, right?
• 10:12
  Apryl: But during the school year, I know this to be true.
• 10:15
  Apryl: Your child has spent five days holding it all together at school.
• 10:20
  Apryl: They've been following directions, sitting still when their body wants to move, being told what to do every single moment of the day, managing loud rooms, reading social cues, remembering rules, that is all extra work for an ADHD nervous system.
• 10:35
  Apryl: Researchers talk about stress fragility in ADHD.
• 10:40
  Apryl: Kids with ADHD report higher perceived stress and carry more nervous system load than neurotypical peers.
• 10:49
  Apryl: So if you took two kids, put them in the exact same situation, exact same classroom, exact same everything, the neurotypical one would say that it was not as stressful as your ADHD kiddo.
• 11:05
  Apryl: The ADHD kiddo, it is just more stressful for them and more of a nervous system load on them.
• 11:12
  Apryl: And you may already see this.
• 11:14
  Apryl: You may have seen this last school year when your kiddo comes home and they have that after school restraint collapse.
• 11:21
  Apryl: They walk through the door and they everything spills out.
• 11:24
  Apryl: It's like they just lose it, right?
• 11:28
  Apryl: That collapse doesn't magically reset by Saturday morning.
• 11:34
  Apryl: I want you to hear that again.
• 11:35
  Apryl: That collapse does not magically reset by Saturday morning.
• 11:38
  Apryl: They're not starting the weekend fresh.
• 11:41
  Apryl: They are starting it in a regulation debt.
• 11:45
  Apryl: Think about it, you as an adult.
• 11:47
  Apryl: You've gone through work all week long and you are absolutely exhausted.
• 11:53
  Apryl: You've had meetings, you've had emails, you've had phone calls, you've had all of the things.
• 11:57
  Apryl: And come Friday, you're like, thank goodness it's Friday because I am done and I just need a weekend.
• 12:06
  Apryl: We all feel that way, right?
• 12:08
  Apryl: And your kiddo feels it too.
• 12:10
  Apryl: They are not immune from that stressful week.
• 12:14
  Apryl: And what happens is most of us respond to the weekends with really good intentions.
• 12:22
  Apryl: We've heard ADHD brains need structure, so let's keep them busy.
• 12:28
  Apryl: We think they need enrichment and social practice.
• 12:31
  Apryl: So let's sign them up for the sports and the parties and all the outings.
• 12:35
  Apryl: And we don't want them on screens all weekend long.
• 12:38
  Apryl: The battle of screens is real.
• 12:40
  Apryl: So how do we get them off screens?
• 12:42
  Apryl: Let's fill up the calendar, right?
• 12:44
  Apryl: None of those are bad intentions.
• 12:46
  Apryl: They're all really, really good intentions.
• 12:48
  Apryl: But here's the trap: when the weekday is already maxing out their nervous system, a packed weekend, even if things are super fun, it's and it's some of their favorite activities, it can feel more like more of the same.
• 13:02
  Apryl: No break, no recalibration, and no rest.
• 13:06
  Apryl: That's when Monday morning behavior gets worse and not better.
• 13:14
  Apryl: As we go back to the school year, you may start seeing your kiddo has behaviors at school the first part of the week.
• 13:22
  Apryl: And it may be because they didn't get that rest that they needed during the weekend.
• 13:27
  Apryl: So here's the raising ADHD reframe I want to build this episode around.
• 13:33
  Apryl: Plan your weekends around your child's nervous system, not around your fears or other people's expectations.
• 13:41
  Apryl: That sounds obvious, but in real life, we accidentally plan weekends around what every other family is doing.
• 13:49
  Apryl: This has been one that I have felt.
• 13:52
  Apryl: I'm like every single kid I swear in our neighborhood does soccer.
• 13:56
  Apryl: I ask Odilie all the time, do you want to do soccer?
• 13:59
  Apryl: Do you want to play soccer?
• 14:00
  Apryl: No, mom, I do not want to play soccer.
• 14:02
  Apryl: And I feel guilty.
• 14:05
  Apryl: I feel bad about it.
• 14:06
  Apryl: And then I talk to Brian and he's like, Why do you feel bad about it?
• 14:09
  Apryl: And then he talks to me and he, you know, gives me therapy.
• 14:11
  Apryl: And I'm like, okay, you're right, you're right.
• 14:13
  Apryl: We're doing what's best for her.
• 14:15
  Apryl: I shouldn't feel guilty about it.
• 14:16
  Apryl: We do like the total opposite of soccer.
• 14:20
  Apryl: We do horse riding lessons on the weekend.
• 14:23
  Apryl: This is a single person activity.
• 14:26
  Apryl: It's just her and her horse and the trainer, and that's what's calming for her brain.
• 14:31
  Apryl: Being out on a soccer field, being forced to follow in a strict, regulated environment with lots of kids, people yelling on the sidelines, that would be totally overstimulating for her brain.
• 14:45
  Apryl: Another thing we think is good parents should provide these things.
• 14:50
  Apryl: Good parents sign their kids up for soccer.
• 14:53
  Apryl: Good parents take their kids here.
• 14:55
  Apryl: Good parents do this, good parents do that.
• 14:57
  Apryl: So we fall into that good parent trap.
• 15:00
  Apryl: And I'm saying that with quotes, well, Oddly would call it bunny ears, around good parents.
• 15:06
  Apryl: And we also plan it around our own anxiety about screens, productivity, and missing out.
• 15:12
  Apryl: I think a lot of times in our society nowadays, sitting around and playing, kids playing, that is not being productive.
• 15:24
  Apryl: Or sitting around and maybe watching cartoons, just doing things at home, just playing, just relaxing.
• 15:31
  Apryl: That's not productive.
• 15:33
  Apryl: And so we should be doing something productive.
• 15:36
  Apryl: I definitely fall into that trap.
• 15:38
  Apryl: My mom is absolutely an amazing human, but she never sits down ever.
• 15:46
  Apryl: And so that's been something that I've had to learn.
• 15:50
  Apryl: Like, it's okay to sit down.
• 15:52
  Apryl: It's okay to rest and relax.
• 15:55
  Apryl: It's okay to do something that you enjoy on the weekend, not something you feel like you have to do.
• 16:01
  Apryl: We rarely stop and ask what does this brain actually need by Saturday?
• 16:08
  Apryl: And also, not just what does your kid's brain need, but what does your brain need?
• 16:14
  Apryl: And I will say, depending on your age, your season of life, that's gonna change for you.
• 16:21
  Apryl: It's so interesting having two kids 12 years apart.
• 16:27
  Apryl: We don't have any kids in between, and seeing the difference between who I was when I was raising my son versus who I am now raising my daughter and my own needs.
• 16:39
  Apryl: I wanted to be out and about and social and doing all the things, and now I'm more like it's dark outside, like my pajamas are on, I'm not opening the door for anyone.
• 16:50
  Apryl: Like I'm a totally different person, but my brain needs that.
• 16:54
  Apryl: So look at not just your kid, but yourself as well, because we know that our kids need our nervous system to regulate their nervous system.
• 17:04
  Apryl: So we need to use the weekends to regulate our own nervous systems as well, and to pull out of that debt.
• 17:14
  Apryl: So, going back to the story that I told at the beginning about the difference between my daughter and my son, she loves to chill on the weekends.
• 17:24
  Apryl: Quiet home time is her favorite thing.
• 17:27
  Apryl: Whereas my son needed to go somewhere, do something fun, or he'd say at bedtime, we didn't do anything fun this weekend.
• 17:34
  Apryl: These two have two totally different recharge styles.
• 17:39
  Apryl: What's interesting about this is with my daughter versus my son, you would think by how hyperactive she is, you would think that it would be opposite, that she would be the one who needed to go out, needed to do the things, needed all the fun things, and not the quiet time.
• 17:58
  Apryl: And clinicians who work with ADHD kids actually talk about this, and they when they do, they point out something very important that I want you to pay attention to in your kid.
• 18:10
  Apryl: A hyperactive child can look like an extrovert, high energy, loud, socially busy, but hyperactivity is a neurological symptom, not a personality type.
• 18:23
  Apryl: Many of those kids are actually introverts who desperately need low stem time to recharge.
• 18:31
  Apryl: That's my child.
• 18:33
  Apryl: That's my daughter.
• 18:35
  Apryl: On the flip side, the quiet, spacey, inattentive kid might be the true extrovert who does need social and novelty to fill up their tank.
• 18:44
  Apryl: So if we schedule our weekends based only on what their ADHD looks like, you're bouncing, so you need more activity, you need more physical activity, you need to get out, you need to do all the things, right?
• 18:57
  Apryl: We can easily misread what their personality and nervous system are asking for.
• 19:03
  Apryl: So that's something super important.
• 19:05
  Apryl: As I would say over the next few weekends, just watch your child.
• 19:10
  Apryl: And it doesn't even have to be on the weekends either, just kind of watch them.
• 19:13
  Apryl: What are they asking for?
• 19:15
  Apryl: What types of activities do they prefer?
• 19:19
  Apryl: Now, again, I do think there is that caveat of when they're on screens, which again, I'm not shaming screens, I'm not giving any guidance on screen time here.
• 19:33
  Apryl: But I do feel like some of our kiddos, because of the dopamine they get from screens, that if we were to take away the screen, what is their natural tendency?
• 19:45
  Apryl: Would they then want to go out and play and do all of the things or go somewhere, get out of the house, or are they more likely to still want to chill, do something quiet in their room?
• 19:57
  Apryl: So look at it that way too.
• 19:59
  Apryl: Just watch for that screen time because research shows that our kids, the more screen time they have, the less they're playing with friends, the less they're going out and doing things.
• 20:09
  Apryl: So again, we want to look at our kids' true personality type and not if the screen is controlling that.
• 20:16
  Apryl: So just a caveat there, no guilt, no shame, none of that.
• 20:20
  Apryl: Just I want you to think about that as you're observing your kid.
• 20:23
  Apryl: So let's talk about the framework to planning a weekend where you and your child and the rest of your family feels truly rested and recharged, recalibrated, and ready to go for Monday morning.
• 20:38
  Apryl: What does that look like?
• 20:39
  Apryl: So, step one, like I was saying, observe one weekend on purpose.
• 20:43
  Apryl: Pick this weekend as a little experiment.
• 20:46
  Apryl: Watch how your child behaves Friday night through Sunday night into Monday morning.
• 20:52
  Apryl: And these are the things you want to notice.
• 20:54
  Apryl: When did they seem the most regulated?
• 20:57
  Apryl: When did they melt down the most, or were they irritable or wild?
• 21:02
  Apryl: And what did they do when nobody is directing them?
• 21:05
  Apryl: Do they naturally reach for quiet play or do they beg to go somewhere or someone to play with?
• 21:10
  Apryl: Start looking at that.
• 21:13
  Apryl: You're collecting data on their recharge style, not your ideals and not the shoulds.
• 21:20
  Apryl: We as parents of ADHD kids need to stop shoulding on ourselves because when we say, oh, we should be doing this, we should be doing this, we should be doing this, we've got to remember our kids are different.
• 21:32
  Apryl: Our kids are neurodivergent, and it's okay if we do things differently.
• 21:38
  Apryl: So we want to collect the data on their recharge style.
• 21:42
  Apryl: Step number two is name your child's recharge profile.
• 21:47
  Apryl: So after you observe, put words to it.
• 21:50
  Apryl: So for example, this child is a weekend chiller, she needs home, loose play, maybe some outdoors, but low stimulation.
• 21:58
  Apryl: Or this Child is a weekend adventurer.
• 22:02
  Apryl: He needs at least one outing that feels fun to him, different than school, to reset.
• 22:07
  Apryl: There is no moral ranking here.
• 22:11
  Apryl: Again, there is no moral ranking here.
• 22:13
  Apryl: It's just what keeps their Monday nervous system calmer?
• 22:17
  Apryl: What sets them up for a successful week?
• 22:20
  Apryl: What sets you up for a successful week?
• 22:22
  Apryl: And here's the thing is you might be a chiller and your kids an adventurer, being able to look at your recharge profile as well and design the weekend accordingly.
• 22:35
  Apryl: And you may have part of your family is adventurers and part of your family is chillers.
• 22:41
  Apryl: Then you divide and conquer.
• 22:44
  Apryl: Maybe you're the adventurer and your spouse is the chiller, and you're like, okay, honey, I'm taking these kids.
• 22:50
  Apryl: Here's where we're going.
• 22:51
  Apryl: This is what we're doing.
• 22:52
  Apryl: And he's like, Great, I'm staying home.
• 22:55
  Apryl: This is what we're doing.
• 22:56
  Apryl: And I know for me, one of my values is spending time with my family and being intentional about time with my family.
• 23:05
  Apryl: So that would feel to me, if I didn't have a plan in place, that would feel bad to me.
• 23:10
  Apryl: Like my kids are leaving and my spouse is leaving, or I'm leaving them.
• 23:15
  Apryl: Like I want our family together.
• 23:17
  Apryl: But if I know, like, okay, Saturday, we're splitting up, these guys are going here, this group's staying home.
• 23:23
  Apryl: But on Sunday night, we always do family game night.
• 23:28
  Apryl: I know I can plan on that family time, or we do family movie night.
• 23:32
  Apryl: That would fill my core value of spending quality time together as a family.
• 23:38
  Apryl: So look at your family values as well as you're looking at this.
• 23:43
  Apryl: Okay.
• 23:43
  Apryl: So step three is do one thing less or one thing more.
• 23:50
  Apryl: Instead of reworking your whole entire calendar, do what I constantly am saying here at Raising ADHD.
• 23:59
  Apryl: Start small.
• 24:00
  Apryl: If you have a chiller, pick one scheduled thing to drop this weekend.
• 24:06
  Apryl: Maybe skip the extra party or make one game an optional attendance.
• 24:11
  Apryl: Maybe you have you asked your child, do you like playing soccer?
• 24:16
  Apryl: Maybe they don't really love it.
• 24:18
  Apryl: Maybe you're doing it for you, or maybe you're doing it to feel that social pressure.
• 24:23
  Apryl: Really look at that and see, is this worth it for our kid?
• 24:28
  Apryl: Is this really what they enjoy?
• 24:30
  Apryl: Maybe what they would enjoy is watching a game of soccer with you on the couch and then going outside and playing, kicking the soccer ball with you.
• 24:41
  Apryl: That fills their bucket way more than actually playing soccer.
• 24:47
  Apryl: So look at what they enjoy or add one intentional rest block.
• 24:52
  Apryl: So maybe you are not ready to like drop everything yet, but you're like, you know what?
• 24:58
  Apryl: We are going to set a time like a quiet Saturday morning at home or a Sunday afternoon with no plans, being able to build in those things.
• 25:09
  Apryl: Just like I said, if I have that plan of okay, Sunday night, four o'clock, we are doing game night, we're having dinner, doing game night, doing movie night, that fills my bucket of spending time with my family.
• 25:23
  Apryl: Everything else can stay the same.
• 25:25
  Apryl: People can go do their thing, I can do my thing, whatever it is, right?
• 25:29
  Apryl: So either pick one thing to drop or add an intentional rest block.
• 25:35
  Apryl: That's if you have a chiller.
• 25:37
  Apryl: If you have an adventure, make sure you have one clear fun, I say that in quotes, fun outing they can look forward to, not 10.
• 25:47
  Apryl: And put that on the calendar.
• 25:50
  Apryl: It's super fun for their brains and for just humans in general.
• 25:54
  Apryl: That's why like holidays are fun because there's something to look forward to.
• 25:57
  Apryl: Put it on the calendar or put it, you know, on a sticky note on the fridge.
• 26:01
  Apryl: Like we're going to the water park on Saturday.
• 26:05
  Apryl: It's something they can look forward to, right?
• 26:07
  Apryl: It makes it even more fun when they can look forward to it.
• 26:11
  Apryl: And protect a little rest time around that outing so their nervous system still gets a break.
• 26:16
  Apryl: By doing this, you are being smart about one choice and not everything else.
• 26:22
  Apryl: We're simplifying it, we're starting small, we're making one choice to make this easy.
• 26:27
  Apryl: And like I mentioned before, you are the other half of their nervous system.
• 26:32
  Apryl: So we can't talk about weekends without talking about you.
• 26:35
  Apryl: If you listen to um two episodes back about parent burnout, ADHD parent burnout, it is hard.
• 26:43
  Apryl: And honestly, modern parenting in general, it's constant.
• 26:47
  Apryl: The logistics, the emotions, the decisions, the advocacy, the weight of feeling responsible for every outcome.
• 26:53
  Apryl: Adults with ADHD or high executive load are especially vulnerable to burnout when they don't have clear recovery windows.
• 27:02
  Apryl: So if your weekends are soccer to birthday party, to errands, to church, to meal prep, to no time to breathe, and you need that quiet home, low demand time to recalibrate, you're starting your Monday morning dysregulated too.
• 27:17
  Apryl: And like I talked about, a dysregulated plant parent plus a dysregulated child is a recipe for those behavior battles that you're trying to avoid.
• 27:26
  Apryl: But on the other hand, if you're the grown-up who truly needs that social outdoors or doing something to feel human again and you stay cooped up all weekend, you're going to drag that depletion into the week too.
• 27:37
  Apryl: So the same question applies for you.
• 27:40
  Apryl: Are you scheduling weekends around what your nervous system actually needs or around the fear, guilt, and comparison?
• 27:47
  Apryl: As always, I want to leave you with something tiny and doable, not a giant overhaul.
• 27:52
  Apryl: So here's your raising ADHD weekend check-in.
• 27:54
  Apryl: Friday night, ask yourself, what does my child's brain need this weekend?
• 27:59
  Apryl: More rest or more novelty?
• 28:01
  Apryl: What do I need this weekend?
• 28:03
  Apryl: More rest or more connection.
• 28:06
  Apryl: Then circle one commitment you can drop or simplify.
• 28:11
  Apryl: Maybe you go late, leave early, or say no to one thing.
• 28:16
  Apryl: Intentionally build one recalibration block.
• 28:20
  Apryl: So for a chiller, protected time at home with no plans.
• 28:25
  Apryl: For an adventure, a fun outing, but surrounded by margin.
• 28:30
  Apryl: For you, 30 to 60 minutes that are yours.
• 28:35
  Apryl: That is not a negotiable, a walk, a book, a quiet time, going out with a friend, grabbing coffee with a friend, doing something that is for you.
• 28:43
  Apryl: And then I want you to notice Monday morning.
• 28:46
  Apryl: Are there any differences?
• 28:47
  Apryl: Is your child's meltdown bigger, smaller, or the same?
• 28:50
  Apryl: And are you more or less triggered?
• 28:53
  Apryl: Again, we are never looking for perfection.
• 28:57
  Apryl: We're looking for patterns.
• 28:58
  Apryl: As we raise our ADHD kiddos, it's always all about data and looking at what's working and what's not and readjusting and recalibrating when needed.
• 29:08
  Apryl: I want to close this by saying, I don't want you to hear this episode as you've been doing the weekends wrong and you've broke your child because you haven't.
• 29:17
  Apryl: You maybe are like me, and this may be a light bulb moment, going, I did not even realize this, right?
• 29:23
  Apryl: This is all about curiosity.
• 29:25
  Apryl: More curious we get, and the less we feel guilty, the more that we can readjust and take those data points and go, that worked.
• 29:36
  Apryl: That didn't.
• 29:36
  Apryl: That's all we're doing.
• 29:38
  Apryl: Here's the truth.
• 29:39
  Apryl: No one gave us a parenting manual for these kids, any specific kid.
• 29:45
  Apryl: I have two kids.
• 29:46
  Apryl: They're both completely different.
• 29:47
  Apryl: One, if I would have read one parenting book, it wouldn't have worked for either one of them.
• 29:52
  Apryl: Like, because they're both different, right?
• 29:54
  Apryl: So it's data points about your kid, your home, you, what works, what doesn't.
• 30:00
  Apryl: Your ADHD child is carrying a week's worth of invisible effort by the time Saturday hits.
• 30:06
  Apryl: Your weekends can give their brain what it needs and give your brain what it needs.
• 30:12
  Apryl: Do not forget yourself here.
• 30:14
  Apryl: Or it can accidentally be piling more weight on top of it.
• 30:19
  Apryl: When you start planning your weekends around the nervous system instead of expectations and societal norms, you'll see it in the place that matters most.
• 30:29
  Apryl: And that's your Monday morning behavior.
• 30:33
  Apryl: If this sparks something for you, share it with the other grown-ups in your child's life, the co-parent, the grandparents, the coach, anyone who helps shape those weekends.
• 30:42
  Apryl: The more you see your child's real recharge needs, the easier the week gets for everyone.
• 30:50
  Apryl: And again, if this episode was helpful, share it, leave a review.
• 30:54
  Apryl: I'm April Bradford, and I will see you next time.
• 30:57
  Brian Bradford: Thanks so much for joining us for today's conversation on raising ADHD.
• 31:01
  Brian Bradford: Remember, raising ADHD kids doesn't have to feel overwhelming.
• 31:05
  Brian Bradford: Small shifts can make a big difference.
• 31:07
  Brian Bradford: If you found this episode helpful, it would mean the world if you would hit subscribe, if you would leave a review, or if you shared it with another parent or teacher who needs this support.
• 31:16
  Brian Bradford: And don't forget to join us next week for more real talk, practical tips, and encouragement.
• 31:21
  Brian Bradford: Until then, you've got this, and we've got your back.