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Why Do So Many Narcissists Get Drunk On Your Birthday? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So why do some narcissists decide to get drunk and
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  obliterated when it's your birthday or something that you
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  are celebrating, in essence, ruining your time and making it
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  about them? Why is that?
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  Y'all? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all? Of course if you, of course, of
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  course. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back yes the
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  narcissist code. If you want to check out my
• 0:46
  podcast interviews, y'all make sure to check out the mental
• 0:48
  illness podcast on Spotify, Instagram spot, Spotify, YouTube
• 0:53
  and everywhere. Y'all make sure y'all check it
• 0:54
  out, but yes, yes, yes, yes. I actually got sent this from a
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  lady in my group. This is a specific question,
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  specific question from a lady in my group.
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  She said, Lee, why does my narcissistic partner always
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  decide to get drunk on my birthday or something that I'm
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  celebrating or the holidays or something like that?
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  They never ever drank. They never drank to excess
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  unless it's something about me, unless it's something in
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  celebration about someone else other than themselves.
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  And I was like, first of all, thank you for joining in this
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  mental illness support group, Mental illness.net.
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  Second of all, it's I ain't going to say it's an easy
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  reason. It's a, it's a simple reason,
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  but this is how a lot of narcissist minds work right
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  here. Y'all like seriously?
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  They think that because it's not about them, the attention is not
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  on them. They need to center themselves.
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  That's one of the simple that's one of these simplest
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  explanations as to why they do this type of stuff because they
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  want the information they want everything that is going on to
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  be centered around themselves. 100% y'all.
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  But if it's not about me, how can I make this about me and
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  you? As you know, there are a lot of
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  narcissists that tend to be cowards, right?
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  They tend we we I'm one of them, right.
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  I've been cowardice in my life and instead of being able to do
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  this on our own 2 feet and instead of being able to like
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  handle these situations or ruin it sober, we have to drink to
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  excess in order to get to that point where we can actually do
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  this type of stuff, right? This is what happens, I promise
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  y'all. Like we get to that point where
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  we we have to drink in order to make this type of stuff happen,
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  in order to get past these things, in order to breakthrough
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  the shield of shame and do things that we normally might
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  not do. Now we normally might ruin a
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  birthday by giving a silent treatment, might not buying you
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  a gift or something like that. But if we get oblique, we get
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  hammered drunk. That was it.
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  Talladega nights. What's up bro?
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  I think it's Talladega nights hammered.
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  I'm hammered drunk, right? Instead of doing that, like we
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  instead of just being silent treatment, we start doing
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  outrageous things. We get drunk.
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  You know you see it if you ever been around a drunk narcissist,
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  a super drunk narcissist, right? Because some of them, they get
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  sweet when they get drunk. They get nice and start doing
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  kind, caring, compassionate things for you, right?
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  I can do another video on that. But when you get the ones that
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  like to ruin birthdays and stuff, they start throwing
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  stuff, yelling, screaming, threatening people, trying to
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  fight people, maybe, maybe actually fighting people.
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  There have been situations where you get a drunk narcissist
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  that's ruining a special event, a special occasion and they end
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  up in jail. And you know y'all look, if they
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  if a narcissist ends up in jail for something that they have
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  done to you, what are who are who are they going to blame?
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  Drop it in the comment section right now about who they are
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  going to blame when this happens.
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  If you said you, then you will be 100% correct.
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  Yay. No, seriously, that's how it
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  goes, y'all? That's the how it, that really
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  is the mentality of a lot of abusive, manipulative,
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  narcissistic people. They're going to put it on to
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  somebody else, even if they are 100% at fault.
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  And not only will they put it on somebody else, they can put it
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  on to you. They can put it on the alcohol.
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  Blame it on alcohol, right? It was the T pain.
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  Blame it on the alcohol baby that's T pain.
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  They blame it on something else. They don't want to be able to
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  take accountability for it. So they will get absolutely get
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  obliterated drunk and start ruining things because the
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  attention is not on them and they want it on them, right?
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  That's the simplest, that's one of the simplest explanations
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  that right, another explanation. Let's keep it hot and ready.
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  Y'all know? Y'all know I love to keep it hot
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  and ready. Another explanation.
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  It's because y'all actually if I were to keep it as simple as I
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  possibly can, Another explanation is because it's so
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  such a highly emotional time and they are jealous.
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  Like not only is the attention not on them, they are jealous of
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  the they are jealous of whatever is going on.
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  If you have got a promotion at work, they get jealous because
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  that means you have one leg up on them.
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  Even if they make more money than you, they always have to
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  find a way to put you down. And sometimes the alcohol helps
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  it you know that liquid courage helps In order to do that type
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  of stuff. You do get a lot of passive
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  aggressive narcissist. Not every narcissist is a yeller
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  or a screamer, but you sometimes y'all know if you have the
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  narcissist that gets drunk on the birthday, you know they
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  don't have to yell and scream. They are doing all they, they,
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  they they are they yelling and screaming, throwing shit, trying
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  to fight, they do all kinds of stuff.
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  They ain't jealous of you man They are.
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  I think, I think most of y'all will agree with that right
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  there, that if you've dealt with a manipulative, abusive, toxic
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  bastard, they absolutely are jealous of you.
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  They can be most time. They is they is.
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  They is jealous of you. They is how to say they is.
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  No, they absolutely are. They can be 100% jealous of you
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  because they this is how their minds work.
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  So if I'm jealous of you, and if I'm holding all of that anger
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  and envy and jealousy within myself when I get drunk, what
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  happens? It comes out, it bubbles to the
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  surface, it goes everywhere. It blasts everywhere.
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  It's kind of like shaking it up. It blasts everywhere like a
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  Sprite, literally like a Sprite. It goes every damn where it
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  blows up, it explodes. All of this stuff starts to
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  happen. All of this stuff keeps
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  happening and they don't stop it until they are stopped, right?
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  It doesn't stop until they stop it.
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  I promise you this is where it goes right here.
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  Y'all like they they can. Do you have the narcissist that
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  can be jealous of you, that does want to ruin your birthday?
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  That is mad that that that is mad and angry that the attention
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  is not on them? You can have those, but you can
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  also have the narcissist that isn't just an alcoholic, right?
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  You have an alcoholic narcissist out there.
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  The alcoholic narcissist, they are going to drink just to be
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  drinking, right? They're going to drink just to
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  be drinking. They they just drink their drink
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  to excess every single day. Sometimes you have a functional
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  alcoholic for a partner or a parent, right, You have a
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  functional alcoholic. They drink Yo, Sometimes when
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  I'm doing one on ones over zoom, I'll hear these stories where
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  people just say Lee, my partner, my husband drinks and typically
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  this man, right, like faced with the alcohol with beers.
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  This is about beers. You guys, you got the the female
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  narcissist that drink a lot of wine and liquor, stuff like
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  that. But like my husband drinks a 12
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  pack every day. Dad, I'm like, what?
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  Every day, Lee, he wakes up in the morning, there's break, he
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  cooks some breakfast, cooks there's some eggs or whatever.
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  I could cook some eggs. And he has a Miller Lite, a
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  Miller High life with breakfast. What?
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  How? Yeah, I yeah, I don't drink much
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  beer anymore because it's so heavy on my stomach.
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  Like I start drinking more liquor because, like, I take a
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  shot or two, I'm good, right? I'm shot, I'm shot or two.
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  I'm here. I'm like, but beer I got drink.
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  I used to drink a bunch of Bud like platinum.
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  There was my weapon of choice right there, Bud, like platinum
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  was my weapon of choice or red apple ale.
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  I just love those right, But I take it takes so many of those
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  to get food. My stomach be heavy.
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  It's heavy probably be lugging around, right, I'm lugging
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  around, but I'm like, man, what the hell is going on here?
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  12 beers, 12 one for breakfast, one, one with breakfast, one to
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  wash it down, one right before you hop in the car, couple at
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  work on break, get home some for dinner, have some at lunch or
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  whatever. Right before you go to bed, some
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  more beer. Like how the hell they're like,
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  he was drinking so much beer. He wasn't even eating right.
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  He wasn't even eating a lot. Like that's crazy.
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  I'm just saying like you do get sometimes you do get the
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  alcoholic narcissist that does try to ruin your life, that will
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  ruin your life. And that's what happens.
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  You know, that's what this what happens.
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  And that's what's going to keep happening to people.
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  This is the space that so many people fall into.
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  They're going to, yeah, I'll say it like this.
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  If they've ruined one birthday, chances are they're going to
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  ruin others. This is the yeah, this is the
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  truth of it. If they've ruined one singular
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  birthday of yours, chances are they're going to ruin a couple
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  of more, a couple more, a couple more birthdays on your side of
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  things will be ruined because this is how narcissistic people
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  tend to operate. They're going to ruin them.
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  They're going to destroy your birthday.
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  They're going to make your birthday or your Christmas that
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  time of the year when they especially if they're getting
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  drunk, they're going to make that time of the year.
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  You're going to hate it. Your birthday's coming up.
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  Like, yeah, I know. I just realized 20, somebody,
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  somebody posted on Facebook. It's like this year's Christmas
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  is 252525. I was like, whoa, wait, now it's
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  the 25th of 25. All right, 2525, OK, damn,
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  that's cool. They said another 25, but oh,
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  it's 20. No, no, no, no, that's what it
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  was. Maybe maybe they were 2025.
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  They were, they were 20. They were 2025 on the 25th of
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  Christmas of Christmas, it's 20, so 25 on 2525.
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  And that makes sense. I was like, oh damn, it's cool,
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  but these times of the year, you if you have a alcoholic
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  narcissist or one that gets drunk and starts to ruin your
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  stuff intentionally this time of the year or your birthdays or
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  any upcoming events, they're going to be tough to deal with.
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  So prepare for them. Y'all.
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  It's just like sometimes you want to learn how to, if you're
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  not going to leave, you have to be around this person.
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  You have to learn how to celebrate this stuff by yourself
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  or not around this person any longer, right?
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  You're just like, they're going to ruin my birthday.
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  I have to not be here. I'm going to celebrate
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  throughout the day with somebody else.
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  I'm not going to be here for the day or you're not going to let
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  them ruin your day regardless of what they say or what they do.
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  You mean you have to prepare for it?
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  Anyways y'all if you haven't already, make sure to check out
• 10:52
  joining my support group. It's called a mental health
• 10:53
  literal go live a couple times a week.
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  There's a bunch of people in that group that understand what
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  you went through. They make friends, people who in
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  the group who made real life friends and I love that
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  happening. You can go to mentalillness.net
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  or courses.mentalillness.net For more information y'all.
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  Anyways, hit the subscribe on y'all and I'm out peace.
• 11:11
  If you want Apple Music on Spotify, definitely hit the
• 11:13
  subscribe but y'all peace.