Latest / Shallow Nights: Scary Bedtime Stories / The Midnight Scheme: Unraveling The Rescue Plan

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The Midnight Scheme: Unraveling The Rescue Plan · Shallow Nights: Scary Bedtime Stories

• 0:04
  Hi, if you're a lover of all things spooky and eerie, then
• 0:08
  Untold True Crime Horror is the perfect storytelling podcast for
• 0:12
  a spine tingling experience. As you tune into this petrifying
• 0:17
  horror experience, do not forget to subscribe as your nightmares
• 0:22
  are about to get a whole lot scarier.
• 0:38
  I pressed the palm of my hand in my forehead.
• 0:41
  So that's why Ersnock wants you back so bad.
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  I said. No wonder you ran out on him,
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  just like you ran out on us. Well, if I hadn't and he said,
• 0:51
  you'd all be dead right now, along with everyone else that
• 0:53
  you've ever known or met. You know what?
• 0:56
  Right now that doesn't seem like such a bad prospect.
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  And he groaned. God, you're so good at playing
• 1:02
  the victim. You should be on TV.
• 1:04
  You can play a corpse on Law and Order, and you can play you know
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  what, screw you. Wow, very Cle.
• 1:14
  Frank and Teddy boomed out a long noise.
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  Annie, Miss Hatchetface and I all turned to look at them.
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  My apologies. Sometimes when I get
• 1:23
  uncomfortable, I make noises. And he turned back to me and
• 1:26
  pointed her finger at me. Frank and Teddy repeated.
• 1:31
  Miss Hatchetface was grinning up at Frank and Teddy and Annie
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  looked put out. Fine, Annie said.
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  So you went and got our daughter kidnapped and now you want me to
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  go to the Netherworld to sort it all out for you, is that it?
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  Yes, I said that's all. Oh, she replied.
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  That's all, that's all. Wow, I am so lucky that all
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  you're asking is for me to go to the Netherworld and talk to the
• 1:56
  most powerful being in existence giving up his only
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  granddaughter. You do know why they call him
• 2:02
  Ersnok the World Eater, right? Why?
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  Because he eats worlds. I rest my head on the bar for a
• 2:08
  moment. Inside.
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  I bring it back up and rest my forehead in my hand.
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  Look, I say, I don't really see what other choice we have.
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  We need a plan. Annie replied.
• 2:19
  A rescue plan. We were sitting in Annie's
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  living room, gathered around a fold out table she'd set up in
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  the center. The bright yellow light of a
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  desk lamp bathed the papers, and that had been haphazardly strewn
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  about its surface. They were maps, schematics of
• 2:33
  the Netherworld office building in which Ersnock, the world
• 2:35
  leader, resided. The light from the lamp bounced
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  off the papers and lit Annie's face from below, making her look
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  even more tired and stressed than she was.
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  Which was very the way I see it, she said.
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  There's only one way we can go about this.
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  We sneak into the office and put Ersnock back to sleep.
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  You can do that? I asked.
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  It's possible, she replied, but it won't be easy.
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  I believe I have a solution, Frank and Teddy said.
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  Even at a whisper, his voice was loud.
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  When I find I cannot sleep, the Lady Hatchetface sings lullabies
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  to me. You do that, I said, turning to
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  Miss Hatchetface. That's so sweet.
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  Miss Hatchetface went a slightly deeper shade of red than she
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  already was, and he made a slight disgusted noise.
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  Hold on a second, she said. Are you blinking?
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  The nanny Darren, that's so cliche, who or what I boink is
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  none of your business. I replied and Annie rolled her
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  eyes. Just not in my house.
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  She said. OK don't worry about that.
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  The sight of you pretty much killed my urge to boink.
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  Frank and Teddy looked at me, then Annie then back to me.
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  What is boink? He said.
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  It sounds like fun, you don't want to know.
• 3:45
  Satan said and then turning to the rest of us he said.
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  Can we please get on with this? You still have no idea what this
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  apocalypse has done to real estate prices in hell.
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  Is that a pressing concern right now?
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  I said my daughter's trapped in the nether world right now.
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  Well, not for you, Satan said. But it's bad for those invested
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  in the future of the greatest nation of all time, America.
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  What? No hell?
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  Oh. Annie was shaking her head.
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  How do you guys get anything done?
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  She said. We don't really.
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  I said. CEO is more of a managerial
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  role, seeing added in, not a job where you actually do things.
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  Annie sighed and picked up a pen, stabbing at one of the
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  blueprints that sat on the table.
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  This is where we need to enter. She said.
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  The door will sense my blood and open, and the rest of you can go
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  in. After that, you're on your own.
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  If Ersnock finds me in the Netherworld, he'll eat the earth
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  at once. I'll have to come back here and
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  hide. How are we going to find our way
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  through the building without you?
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  I asked. That's what all the maps are
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  for. Oh look, it's simple, and he
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  said, sliding the blueprint towards her and marking it up
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  with the pen. This is the route you need to
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  take. She slid the blueprint back to
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  the center of the table and we all leaned over it.
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  This route right here? I asked.
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  Yes, the one that starts at the door marked Do not enter and
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  ends with the room labeled Certain Death.
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  That's the one. OK, just checking, but getting
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  in is the easy part, she said. It is, yes.
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  After you're inside, you'll need to keep yourselves and the goat
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  hidden to keep from setting off security.
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  Wait, there's a goat? And he cocked her, hadn't
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  squinted. Of course there's a goat, she
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  said. What else would you sacrifice?
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  I'm not really comfortable with the idea of sacrificing
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  anything. I said don't worry, she said.
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  The goats used to it, It's his job.
• 5:31
  That really doesn't make me feel any better.
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  Look, she said, do you want Sarah back or not?
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  I sighed. Get me the freaking GOAT.
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  And he made another phone call in.
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  The GOAT had shown up at her door in a suit and tie, wearing
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  a black bowler hat. He made sure to hand out
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  business cards to every person present that simply read Larry
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  Crowder, sacrificial specialist. The GOAT took off his coat and
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  bowler hat, standing up on his hind legs to hang them from the
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  rack before seating himself in a brown overstuffed recliner.
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  So he said gruffly, I understand this is another world job.
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  He reached inside the pocket of his suit and pulled out a cigar
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  and a Zippo style lighter. He lit the cigar and puffed out
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  a cloud of smoke. I stared down at the ivory white
• 6:13
  business card in my hand, and he was the first to speak.
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  Yes, she said. Do you think you're up for it,
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  Mr. Crowder? First off, sweetheart, he said
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  You can call me Larry. He took another long try of his
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  cigar, leaving his face clouded by a haze of smoke.
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  He made no sign that he intended on answering.
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  Listen, Larry, I said we're kind of in a hurry, so if you could
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  whoa, whoa, whoa, Larry said. I said the lady could call me
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  Larry. It's still Mr. Crowder to you.
• 6:41
  I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I just kept my mouth
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  shut. The way I see it, Larry said,
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  leaning through the cloud of smoke so that we could all see
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  his face, another world job ain't worth the risk.
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  What's in it for me if I do this?
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  I decided that now wasn't the time to bring up that this job
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  was to get sacrificed. Because if you don't, I said,
• 7:01
  the world's going to end. What world?
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  What do you mean what world? I said Earth.
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  Larry leaned back and took another puff and his cigar.
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  Not my problem, he said. Not your problem, I asked,
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  dumbfounded. Do I look like I'm from Earth to
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  you, boy, he said. Look, Larry, and he said,
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  shooting me a quick dirty look. He didn't mean anything by it.
• 7:25
  Larry scoffed. Besides, she continued, Ers
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  knock. The World Eater has awakened.
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  You think he's really going to stop after he eats the earth?
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  He'll come for the goat dimension next.
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  You know he will. Maybe, Larry said.
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  He narrowed his eyes and leaned back against his veil of smoke.
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  I could see his black eyes glittering as he sat there
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  puffing on his cigar, thinking. I'll come back tomorrow, he
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  said. 5:00 AM sharp. Without waiting for our
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  response, he got up, slung his coat over his shoulder and
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  pulled his bowler hat down over his eyes and left the same way
• 7:57
  he came in.