Latest / Business Roundtable / Balancing Short-Term Solutions and Long-Term Vision in the AEC Industry

Transcript

Balancing Short-Term Solutions and Long-Term Vision in the AEC Industry · Business Roundtable

0:01
Hey, everybody, Welcome back to the Business Roundtable podcast. I am your
0:05
host and facilitator, David Carr of Steward Or Business, where I help business
0:09
owners and their teams lead well, bring their team together to accomplish great things.
0:13
And I'm excited to have a special guest on today, Matt, who
0:18
I've worked with for years, and we have a great topic that we're going
0:22
to talk about and just you know, with all the challenges in the business
0:27
world and the things that we're facing to lead ourselves well. Matth has a
0:33
specific background and experience as a business owner himself and then helping leading other men.
0:40
So Matt, I want to welcome you to coming on to the podcast,
0:43
the Business round Table Podcast and looking forward to hearing your insights today.
0:46
But can you just share a little bit of your backgrounds as an entrepreneur,
0:50
business owner and the work that you do. Yes, yes, David,
0:55
thanks so much for having me here today, brother, I appreciate it.
0:58
We've known each other for years now, both through the work inside the Porn
1:03
to Purpose community and also the work through Warrior. So it's good to be
1:07
here with you. I've been I've been enjoying following your journey and seeing you
1:11
continue to grow and also love everything that you're up to with warrior. Yeah.
1:18
So my name is Matthew Sinkovitz, the founder of the Porn to Purpose
1:22
Community, which is amens personal and spiritual development community, and primarily the problem
1:30
that we work with is helping men solve the problem of pornography addiction in their
1:34
life. I opened the community in about twenty nineteen, started enrolling students into
1:44
a couple of different levels of support. I was inspired to do the work
1:52
as a result of my own journey with pornography, which has been a lifelong
1:57
journey and continues to be a part of my journey today and my work today.
2:00
And yeah, so several years ago begin supporting other men in this work.
2:06
I have a background in interfaith chaplaincy work, mindfulness counseling, heavy background
2:10
to personal and spiritual development. And you know, that's pretty much the work
2:15
that I'm up to in the world. Yes, yeah, Well, we're
2:17
excited, we're excited to do. The reason I brought Matt on is pornography
2:23
is just one of many different ways that we can say to today. In
2:27
today's world, there's so many different ways from gambling to drugs, to drinking,
2:30
to spending to just literally being on our phones and social media. So
2:35
we're not here to throw shame or guilt on anybody here. Everybody has challenges.
2:42
Most men I found have the challenge along their journey at some point with
2:47
pornography or some kind of outlet. Again, could be drinking. There's all
2:52
different ways. It doesn't really But what I want brought on Matt today is
2:57
because there's a way that we think mindfulness a way how we approach problems and
3:02
challenges in our life. And so I thought it would be great to ask
3:06
Matt some questions and allow him to share some insights in what he has done
3:10
in his own personal journey and how that you may be able to apply that
3:15
in your own life, because Matt to be going, like you said,
3:20
from dealing with this addiction or form of sedation into creating a successful business and
3:27
community and leading other men. Honestly, is you started with leading yourself and
3:31
then leading other men. You know that has been a powerful one and one
3:38
of the things that attracted to me, to you and working with you and
3:39
seeing what you were doing with the program, and like what I'm doing with
3:44
other groups, and like finding these resources. Matt is just so impactful.
3:47
But you know, can you share, Matt a little bit about your own
3:53
journey You've shared a little bit like this journey of like how you were able
3:55
to start to be mindful, start to turn instead of like just going to
4:00
the short term fixes and realizing, but you know, in your mind starting
4:04
that process. Yes, So, I I would say around age thirty or
4:16
so, I'm forty one as of the data of this recording, probably around
4:21
age thirty or so, I really began to more strongly feel the call to
4:28
doing the work of personal and spiritual development work in my life. And I
4:33
would say I began my personal and spiritual development journey as it relates to investing
4:39
in with coaches and mentors, et cetera, investing in myself and personally spiritually
4:43
business, et cetera, when I was about twenty five, and I really
4:47
began to experience the call in my own life to like do the work.
4:53
I was like, I was enjoying the business as I was, and I
4:55
have a background in real estate and music, and I was enjoying that.
4:59
But I was like, man, I love this, but I really loved
5:00
the coaching. That's what I really stuck out to me, and so I
5:03
began to feel this call in my life to be to live my life in
5:05
greater service to others and use my gifts and service to others. And as
5:12
I moved into that, and I began to wake up to that, and
5:14
I began to explore more and more what does that really look like for me?
5:18
I began to notice areas of my life which were out of integrity for
5:21
me. And for me, no one had to tell me that porn was
5:27
unhealthy for me, And I like the way you prefaced this, because you
5:30
know, my work in the world is not to throw shade on porn or
5:35
shame anyone or guilt anyone. I think we get to wake up to whether
5:41
or not there's a healthy role for it in our lives on our own.
5:45
And for me, that's what I woke up to. I woke up to
5:47
the realization that it was toxic for me. And I couldn't quite put my
5:51
finger on it early early on, but I just I guess there was just
5:55
something within me that knew it wasn't it wasn't good, it wasn't healthy for
5:58
me. It had a toxic quality to it. And so as I grew
6:03
through my twenties and thirties. You know, there there are multiple I would
6:09
say periods when I attempted to quit or say I was done with porn,
6:13
but I continued to return to it. I continue to find myself there and
6:15
continue to experience the shame that I experienced with it. And so as that
6:23
coincided with me desiring to move into you know, working with others. I
6:29
wasn't clear that it was going to be on porn and sex at the time,
6:30
but I knew I wanted to serve others. But and so I began
6:33
to like kind of as these two things came together, I began to recognize
6:35
that I want to help others, but I've got this skeleton in my own
6:40
closet, or I don't I don't feel integrity to help others or for me,
6:44
it created a big drag in my life, a big drag and a
6:46
big weight in my life. It was a big energetical leak, and I
6:50
couldn't get momentum. I didn't feel worthy, and I felt like, who
6:54
am I to serve others when I've got this big I've got this demon in
6:57
my closet. So that's when I really began to wake up to it,
7:00
and I think I began. I began to come to a place that I
7:01
recognized it was bogging me down, and that's when I began to really take
7:05
action on it, like in my mid thirties, and that's when I began
7:09
investing in working with coaches and mentors and made a significant investment to work with
7:14
the coach and began really going deep and creating resolution on it in my own
7:18
life. So that's how I began to wake up to the problem for me.
7:21
That's great. I like how you talk about awakening because I think sometimes
7:25
we don't even realize the things that we're doing. Like you said, maybe
7:30
you're overeating, maybe you're that's the extra drink. You know, what's the
7:33
matter if I look at this thing or whatever it's like. But like you
7:36
said, you had you you you were like, that's not serving me.
7:40
So there has to be an awakening there. Number one, are you even
7:43
a baseline of where you're at? And this is part of where you and
7:46
I came through the wake Up Layer program. That's why I became a certified
7:48
trainer with Warriors, Like let's stop, let's assess, let's look at the
7:53
fruit of our lives and is the fruit that we're experiencing? Is that really
7:57
what we want or not? And what I hear you saying it was You're
8:00
like, not, really, this isn't what I want. I want something
8:03
better, I want something different? Right? Yeah? Absolutely, man,
8:09
absolutely, yeah. I h I knew I was called to more. I
8:13
knew I wanted to experience greater degrees of freedom. I knew I wanted to
8:16
work in alignment with my gifts. I think that's one of the greatest joys
8:20
that we get to experience in this in this human experience, is to like
8:24
do the thing that's in our heart, use our gifts and talents and service
8:28
to others, And like what if we could learn to do that full time?
8:30
And I began to recognize there was a big hindrance there as it really
8:33
so, so if you're so, you know, if if you're a whether
8:37
you're a business owner or a leader. What I hear you say, Matt,
8:41
as you know, you realize that it's not you're not showing up the
8:45
best version of yourself. You have to be real with yourself. So that
8:50
if if because you can't lead others, well, but I heard you say,
8:52
I feel like there's a great capacity. I know I can serve more
8:56
people, but because I had number one, I had to have this awakening
8:58
and number two then once I had awakened at it and then decide what am
9:01
I going to do with this? Right absolutely, so you're being mindful in
9:05
your choices, and this is kind of where I was getting at. You
9:07
know, when we talked earlier before we came on the podcast, here was
9:11
like, there's a lot of we can make these short term decisions or actions
9:16
that don't serve our long term vision or purpose of what we can be.
9:20
And so I feel like a lot of times people are stressed, are dealing
9:26
with a lot of issues that are coming on them, and you know,
9:30
with work demands, you know, you're managing a team, you've got,
9:33
you got this home life, and so what for the listeners are here that
9:39
are literally in the midst of that right now, Matt, Maybe they're not
9:41
completely awake, but what are the things that they could be looking for in
9:46
themselves? What could they be paying attention to? Is it the feelings?
9:50
Is it it's actions? Like I said that fruit, what was it that
9:54
that we could help lead them and get them into awakening? So that they
9:58
can see in really valuate. Is that serving me? Yeah, that's a
10:03
great question, and I think that's really something we all get to come to
10:07
on our own time. Just like we can plant a seed in the ground,
10:09
but we cannot rush the maturation process, right, And we cannot rush
10:15
the caterpillar emerging from the cocoon as a butterfly, right And like maybe when
10:22
you're a little kid, did you ever like rip flowers open, you know
10:24
and see the butt inside Like I used to do that, But that's not
10:26
nature's way. So so we cannot rush the process. There are certain things
10:35
which can serve as a catalyst to help us wake up I think, maybe
10:37
quicker. But yeah, So for me, actually have three I have three
10:41
really simple things that I like to offer to help one begin to investigate for
10:46
themselves. And I think this could be applied to any area of life,
10:48
because we are we're talking about porn specifically, but we're talking about sedation overall,
10:54
you know. So for me and what I love to offer is you're
10:58
beginning to explore this for yourself. One look at the feelings, the emotions
11:05
in and around the use of pornography, right, Like notice, like within
11:09
hours or days after poorn use, do you notice feelings of shame, of
11:13
regret, of remorse, of low energy? Do you feel these feelings of
11:18
drag? Right? Do you feel like a better, brighter, healthier version
11:22
of yourself after or in and around pornography use? Or would you say maybe
11:26
the energy is going in the other direction. So I think if we just
11:30
take a and so, all these things require I think a radical honesty,
11:33
a willingness to really look at these things and be honest with ourselves. But
11:37
so the first thing is, like, notice the emotional effects, the energetic
11:39
effects, the spiritual effects. Do you feel more a greater desire to connect
11:43
with God? Do you feel a greater desire to connect with others? Do
11:46
you feel a great desire to connect with your partner? Do you kind of
11:48
want to withdraw and get small, you know, contract? Or do do
11:52
you feel like more expansive and open? So that's that's one way to do
11:54
it. Number two is this is very obvious, but again sometimes we can
12:01
miss the obvious. How about have you told yourself, like like I shared,
12:05
have you told yourself that you were gonna quit or you've tried to quit,
12:09
or you've attempted to quit, but you've been unsuccessful, You've returned to
12:15
it over and over again. Maybe you find yourself using porn again and you
12:18
kind of forgot that at one point. Oh yeah, I told myself this
12:20
wasn't good for me, it wasn't healthy for me, but I allowed myself
12:24
to talk myself back into it and begin to justify it again. So if
12:26
you told yourself you're gonna quit or made this promise, but you continue to
12:31
return to the behavior, right, really important? Right sore? There,
12:35
it kind of demonstrates a degree of what they might call in the recovery community
12:39
a powerlessness. Like there's this aspect of it, there is this addictive quality
12:43
to it. Even though I told myself I don't want to do it,
12:45
I recognize its health unhealthy, I continue to return. And then number three
12:50
and I think this is a big one which would probably hit home for the
12:52
audience. Here is is it something that I have to hide in my life
12:58
or keep secret in my life? Right? Is the energy around it an
13:01
energy of hiding of secrecy. I always say, how comfortable would you be
13:07
right now handing over to your phone browser history or your computer browser history,
13:11
to your wife, to your children, to your pastor right? Or is
13:16
it something that you've got to keep small, You've got to keep hidden away.
13:20
It's kind of tucked away in the dark corner of your life. When
13:22
someone walks in the room, you've got to put your phone away right real
13:24
quick, or your if your wife or your partner or your kids want to
13:28
use your phone, there's that immediate fear like, oh no, did I
13:31
leave a browser tab open or something like that? Or are they going to
13:33
see my history? Right? Is it something in our life that we have
13:35
to keep hidden in secret? Anytime we have to stay small around something in
13:39
our life. I think that's the energy of constriction, of contraction, and
13:43
I think I think it creates a kink in the hose if you will.
13:46
Yeah, No, I think those are great observations. And I think we're
13:50
talking about porn specifically, but you can talk about any any aspect of your
13:54
life, Like do you minimize how many drinks you had over the weekend?
13:56
Well, you know you had five and you really somebody asked you just during
14:00
one. Well there's something there, right, Or how you are you spending
14:03
time to spending money and things? Or I mean today social media just in
14:07
of itself is a way of sedation where you're just scrolling on you know what
14:09
they call doom scrolling right, So and you're like, oh, I'm not
14:13
really on very much. But then you realize if you looked, like,
14:16
how much time did you actually spend? So and I think a lot of
14:20
this and we talk about in the business context too, and here in the
14:22
business roundtable, it's like, we want you to be a strong, influential,
14:28
powerful leader. But if you feel like you have to hide something or
14:31
you're not your true authentic self, right matt You're you're you're not going to
14:37
be maybe making the best long term decisions there. And so we want to
14:41
get people and I coach people on this too, of kind of the urge
14:45
and important all these things that are going on, and so we want you
14:48
to focus on that this really this this greater version of yourself. So I
14:52
really appreciate you breaking that, Dan Matthew, so number one helping people become
14:56
aware. And once they're aware and they realize, Okay, I don't want
15:00
be this, I want to move in this direction, then they can be
15:05
start to move in that that next version of the self, of the desired
15:09
version. And one of the things that I really liked that you created in
15:13
the Foreign Purpose community that I saw I'm at, was this this noble code
15:16
or this way of like saying who do I want to become? Who is
15:20
this? This this person or movement? And so can you speak to kind
15:24
of like what that that was something you created specifically for the community. But
15:28
I know that there's value in whatever that is for your whatever you're at wherever.
15:31
Work of creating something like that, Matt of like, this is where
15:35
I want This is where I aspire to be, This is who I want
15:37
to become. Yeah, dude, So we do have the Noble Code,
15:45
which is like I would say, like the foundational philosophy or principles that we
15:48
operate from uh within the community. And to me, the Noble Code is
15:52
a call to personal power into personal responsibility. That's the essence of what it
15:58
is, and a call to devotion to our path of recovery. But what
16:04
I would say to kind of go to your point, like getting clear on
16:07
where we want to go, one of the pieces that we offer inside the
16:11
Porn to Purpose community is what we call the Freedom Framework. And I developed
16:14
the Freedom Framework as like the ten things that must be in place from my
16:18
perspective in order to keep us in a healthy place as it relates to porn,
16:22
and I think as it relates to like all of life or anything we
16:26
want to maybe abstain from or heal from. So what is the framework?
16:30
What are the pieces that need to be in place simultaneously to keep me in
16:33
a healthy place? And the first, the first principle inside the freedom framework
16:40
is you know, it's so basic, but it's it's getting clear on your
16:42
why. And we break the why down to the two pieces. We break
16:48
the why down into the first piece of First of all, what do I
16:52
want to What am I moving away from? What am I no longer willing
16:56
to tolerate in my life? What is toxic? What is unhealthy? You
17:00
might call it the pit? What am I being away from? And the
17:03
why? Part two would be the paradise or the promise? What do I
17:07
want to experience instead? Where do I want to go instead? Right,
17:11
So, getting super clear on what I'm no longer willing to tolerate and getting
17:15
clear instead on where I want to go. Because if I'm going to say
17:17
no to porn, or I'm going to say no to ex behavior, whether
17:19
it is alcohol, screens, gambling, whatever you name it. I got
17:26
to be clear on what that why is, because that why really serves as
17:30
the fuel for the journey. And they say, and I really resonate with
17:33
this idea that whenever the why is big enough and powerful and strong enough,
17:37
then the how becomes much easier. So we got to get clear on that
17:41
first. Yeah, now that's super important, Matt. I think is what.
17:47
I love that why and why I started my own even company. It
17:51
keeps me in perspective, it's bringing people together to accomplish great things. It
17:53
drives me. It's my filter for everything else. And so I agree with
17:56
you. It's if you just try to arise, dedicate sedating behavior, whatever
18:02
that is, and you don't have anything else to replace it, some other
18:04
one will come in, right man. I mean, so let's say we
18:07
remove porn. Okay, I don't do that, but now I'm just gonna
18:11
shift to food or there's something else. Right. There's an addictive behaviors there,
18:17
absolutely, Yeah, I mean we're talking about sedation. For me,
18:19
it's just it's all just an attempt to emotionally sedate. I think that's what's
18:22
going on for me. I noticed if I'm not wanting to reach for porn,
18:26
then the food will do as a good second. You know, I'm
18:29
just looking to stuff and stuff and shut down man, right, And we
18:33
were all stressed, and so we're trying to make sure and this gets to
18:37
my kind of the premise of the podcast here. So when we make these,
18:41
like you said, maybe short term decisions, like you know, to
18:45
get that quick dough mean it to get kind of get a relief. But
18:48
then it's like that's not really serving me because if we've lost sight of the
18:52
why, why are you trying to go there? So for me, for
18:56
example, I'm working on losing some more weight and everything, So I got
19:00
to be mindful of the food that I'm getting, Like yeah, I'm hungry
19:03
or whatever, but I might I don't want to just grab any old thing.
19:06
I want to make good nutrients and be very intentional and that takes some
19:08
planning and preparation and so putting yourself in an environment for success. And so
19:15
you speak to what can you do matt In once you're know your why,
19:22
what are some things that we can do intentionally to help set us up for
19:26
success? So, I mean, you know, we've talked about some of
19:29
that in the past, and I'd love to get your feedback there. Yeah,
19:32
well you mentioned environment. Environment is critical, and I think it speaks
19:36
a lot to what you're doing here inside your community, David and the the
19:41
Greater Warrior community. We say it's at the adiction community that the opposite of
19:49
addiction is not sobriety. We often think that's the answer, what is the
19:55
opposite of addiction sobriety? No, But the actual what we find to be
19:59
even maybe a deeper truth or something more helpful or useful, is that the
20:03
opposite of addiction is not just sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.
20:07
And specifically as it relates to porn or any addictive behavior, there's a lot
20:12
of shame, there's a lot of hiding, there's a lot of isolation.
20:17
And it's very interesting because oftentimes we go to the addictive behavior because of the
20:22
shame of the hiding, of the isolation, because we're looking for connection,
20:26
which turns out to be artificial connection. But then we go to the behavior
20:29
and it only serves to keep us in that loop of shame, of isolation,
20:33
of of of isolation. So because of that, I think one of
20:41
the best and first things we can do is get connected to community around the
20:45
conversation. When we when we get to when we connect with community, we
20:48
begin to find the connection that we're looking for and we begin to bring all
20:52
these aspects of ourselves which have been hiding in the darkness, these aspects which
20:56
are cloaked in shame and secrecy. We get to bring them to the light.
21:02
And when we bring them to the light, they begin to heal.
21:03
And my mentor uh beautifully says that shame dies when stories are told in safe
21:14
places. Shame dies when stories are told in safe places. So we get
21:18
into community, we connect with others, we begin to bring these dark aspects,
21:22
these shameful aspects of our of ourselves, into the light. The shame
21:26
begins to heal. We begin to find resources and support, and we begin
21:30
to see that hey, I'm not the only weirdo, right. We feel
21:33
like we're weirdo because this is this is that aspect of us that that's hidden
21:37
and we don't really relate and talk much about. But the truth is a
21:40
lot of guys struggle with this and you're not as weird as you think.
21:42
And getting into community one begins to show us proof that others are on the
21:45
path that others are doing it too, that we're not alone and we're not
21:48
so weird, and and we can begin to just just be real. And
21:52
I think it gives us a space to open up and begin doing the work.
21:56
I love that, Matt. And one of the reasons why I reason
22:00
reached out to you because I knew men uh and and myself that has had
22:03
that challenge of you know, the station or pornography and it's like, how
22:07
do where? Because I've met so many men uh. I lead a men's
22:11
ministry through our church as well, and the trail life with my son,
22:15
there's other other groups and individuals like who where do we send them? And
22:18
I think sometimes we don't know. And so it's really important as you're as
22:22
those that are listening here today that you reach out to somebody like Matt or
22:27
myself or get plugged into some community, because I agree with you, Matt,
22:30
that is so important. And sometimes it's hard you would think, you
22:34
know, I would like to think that the the the workplace or the church
22:41
that even sometimes would be that it's not unfortunately not always a safe place,
22:45
like you said, Matt, So you want to find that safe place where
22:48
you can open and be really real and raw and relevant about what you're facing,
22:52
right and and get out from underneath that. So, if you're feeling
22:57
isolated, like you're saying, Matt, I think that's super important. And
23:00
what's so strange to me in this world of you know, phones and technology,
23:06
where we're quote unquote connected, there's not real connection and we're so desperately
23:11
seeking that in that human experience, and and and so I really appreciate your
23:15
thoughts that. I like that, Matt, Like the opposite of addiction is
23:19
connection. Wow. Yeah, that's what we're looking for, man. I
23:23
think if so we're talking about mindfulness and awareness, if we're willing to slow
23:27
down and look, I think when we go to food, when we go
23:32
to when we go to the screens, when we go to porn, that's
23:34
really that's what I noticed. I'm looking for. I'm looking to connect,
23:37
man. And it provides an artificial connection. But the trick and the trap
23:41
is it's just like eating junk food. It tastes good on the lips for
23:45
the moment, but it leaves us feeling empty, empty, and only craving
23:48
more, and it makes us fat and lazy, and so so it provides
23:52
what seems like connection, but it's false. Right. And and here's the
23:56
thing I found in our in our business world, particularly we're here on the
23:59
business around to a podcast is where you're a leader. Your team wants to
24:03
connect with you, they want to hear from you, they want to develop
24:07
our relationship. And oftentimes we're off making these you know, doing sometimes we're
24:11
busy. Sometimes just the fact of being busy kind of hits this. It's
24:15
almost a way of sedation. I would say, of like, oh,
24:17
I'm doing lots of things, but am I doing the most important things?
24:19
And sometimes the most bortant things is picking up the phone call or having that
24:22
conversation. And you may be avoiding that, but that's really where if you
24:26
move toward that point of connection, Matt. And I've seen you demonstrate this
24:32
with other men. I like, as you move toward that, they're like,
24:34
it will be better if you do that. But if you move away
24:37
and you try to feel it artificially, like you said, it's just it's
24:41
going to leave you wanting and it's going to make you make poor decisions in
24:45
really short sighted decisions. Right. I've heard it said, and I love
24:49
this that you can't get enough of that, which won't satisfy you. M
25:00
Yeah, you can't get enough of that, which doesn't satisfy you. Man.
25:04
So yeah, as we as we kind of come to a point here,
25:11
Matt, I want to give some folks, you know, some direction
25:15
here. You know, we we've talked about awakening, and we've talked about
25:19
environment, and we've talked about community. I think those are those are you
25:26
know, great uh tools and resources. And I think for those of you
25:29
again that are coming and tuning in if if you say, well I don't
25:33
deal with pornography, that's fine, but there's other issues in your life,
25:36
I'm sure that we all face. And so I want you to be real
25:38
there and looking at that being awake and and as Matt was saying, you
25:45
know, look at look at the environment that you find yourself in. What
25:48
is what is uh you know, contributing to that? And once you can
25:53
become aware, you know, I want to encourage you to lean in community
26:00
and maybe talk about this Matt. As we're kind of wrapping up like what
26:03
has been as you you not only came awake, you you moved into this.
26:10
Now you actually created a community, You create a space you know.
26:14
So what would it mean now that you've been in this and you you know,
26:18
to ongoing success and development, Matt, what would you say is,
26:22
as we're kind of wrapping up and thinking about this, depending on the spectrum
26:26
of awake and moving, getting into healing and then staying in a heeled place,
26:30
staying in a place of a healthy place, you know, we want
26:33
to get people too so that they again keep moving in that direction. So
26:37
what has been key to your success Matt as a business owners working with lots
26:42
of different people to stay in success, to keep moving in that direction.
26:48
Mm hmm, yeah, thanks David. So absolutely community. I recommend as
26:56
part of the prescription that long term lifetime connection with community is around this as
27:03
it relates to addictions specifically, what I find is that man, we may
27:07
always have a tendency to return to it. Like for me, if I
27:11
get sloppy and I stop connecting and I stop doing all the things that keep
27:14
me in a healthy place, over time, that pourd is gonna gonna sneak
27:18
back in, man like that that always may be a part of my life.
27:22
And the good not the good side, is all that actually serves me
27:25
to help me be the best version of myself to it incentivizes me to be
27:27
the best persion of myself. But long term connection with community is so critical
27:33
because it helps it helps keep for me to stay top of mind around what
27:38
do I need to do to stay sharp? How do I stay connected to
27:41
others? How do I keep my inventory short right? How do I keep
27:45
like continue to share the things that are important to share and not have secrets
27:48
in my classes, the things that maybe I'm carrying shame around. So staying
27:52
connected as my as my sponsor in the twelve step community says, I go
27:57
to I go to meetings every day, and I still do because whenever I
28:00
stop going to meetings and I stop getting around community, I begin to forget.
28:04
And then the idea to begin acting out starts to make sense again.
28:08
Right, and AND's And it's so easy that attic voice that wants to show
28:12
up. It makes a lot of sense when it shows up, and it
28:15
rationalizes behavior that that is not I know is not good for me in my
28:19
clear mind. So I want to say I want to say that, and
28:22
being a community helps me keep top of mind that there's a daily a very
28:26
specific framework that I've learned to to keep in place in my life that needs
28:30
to be present, that keeps me in that healthy place. So community which
28:33
reinforces my framework and keeps my my recovery top of mind. And number two
28:38
at the bottom of the screen there it says poor into purpose. You know,
28:41
A big piece of the work that we do here is moving into purpose
28:45
in our lives and and and and getting intentional. And it connects back to
28:51
that. Why if I'm going to say no to porn, what am I
28:52
saying yes to? And being clear on living a purpose strip in life is
28:56
so critical And what that looks like in our community is is moving into leadership
29:02
and creating off leadership opportunities because when we're visible, just like you are here
29:06
in your community, David, we now need to have a degree of mastery
29:10
over what it is that we're talking about, right, and then we're held
29:12
to a higher standard and a higher level of accountability in our own walk.
29:17
So for me, I sometimes have the realization like, man, you know,
29:21
I did this poor and to purpose thing to serve others, but it
29:22
was really a lot about me because I'm like, I'm going to go all
29:26
in on myself. I'm going to go public with my journey. I'm going
29:29
to create the highest level of accountability in my life. You know, my
29:32
mom knows about it, everybody knows about it, and I'm going to be
29:34
super visible around this because it calls me to a higher standard in my old
29:37
life. So I would say leadership, getting on purpose and getting into leadership,
29:41
yeah, is in the critical role. It really serves for the long
29:45
term. Oh man, Matt, so many nuggets here. Thank you so
29:49
much for just coming on here today ensuring this with us in the audience.
29:53
There's so much more, Matt. You even have a podcast as well,
29:56
don't you. I do the Poor into Purpose podcast. Yeah, there you
30:00
go, So you guys go check out Matt's Point of Purpose podcast. You
30:03
know, I think, Matt, the nuggets you just left me of I
30:07
agree hundred percent. Community. This is a this is a lifestyle, a
30:11
way of being. It's not a one and done. This is a way
30:12
of being. I found the same thing in multiple I have multiple groups,
30:17
mastermind groups, business, different areas of life, from marriage to relationships to
30:22
body there's different areas. So whatever that is for you, I think it's
30:25
super important that you find multiple air avenues for community and connection, right,
30:29
Matt, I know you're got a great men's group I ceo on Facebook and
30:33
you guys are out hiking and doing cool stuff, you know. So I
30:37
mean that and I do agree with leaders because ultimately here on the Business round
30:41
Table podcasts, we're talking to those that are in a leadership position. Whether
30:44
you believe or not, you are in a place of influence and you can
30:47
only influence as far as you're you're taking account for yourself. And so yeah,
30:52
I think that's a great model, Matt. Are you moving in that
30:53
direction and living authentically and transparently. Here's the thing. We all, all
30:59
of us have our issues, right, everybody does. So, but as
31:03
if you can, you can, like you said, Matt, put it
31:04
all out there and lead you kind of give permission to other people to them
31:07
like, oh you mean you did that? And that means I mean I
31:11
can show my cars like and leave that. Yes, because we don't want
31:15
that holding you back any further, right, Matt, I mean let's move
31:17
further together. Yeah, man, I think I think it's all about how
31:22
honest am I willing to be, which I believe the men in your organization
31:26
model really well, just being authentic. It gives others permission to do the
31:30
same, and also just doing your best to walk the walk every single day.
31:33
At least I'm gonna maybe I maybe I fail, maybe I'm not perfect,
31:36
but I'm at least gonna show up and do my best to to to
31:40
follow the code and and do what I'm supposed to do every single day,
31:42
take take responsibility for it. Yeah. Well, and I think that's the
31:45
difference, Matt. When you live that way, you're like, hey,
31:48
you know what, we all we all do, we all fall, we're
31:51
all, uh, you know, have that trip up. Nobody is a
31:55
perfect But when when you own that of your life and you say, look,
31:57
this is my whole life. I'm laying it all out there, It's
32:00
different than you have people that try to put on a particular show or angle
32:05
and they're trying to like, you know, carve this person and they're not
32:08
being real. And I think we live in a world today where unfortunately there's
32:13
a lot of that, and it blocks what you talked about earlier of real
32:16
deeper connection. We want real connection. I hear people that have, you
32:22
know, tens of thousands, millions of followers, but they have no real
32:24
connection in their life and their left hollow and so we want you on the
32:32
Business round Table podcast. And why I had Matt on here is that you
32:36
become that person of connection, empowering others, leading them, leading your organization,
32:42
leading whoever you have a part of you, a part of you.
32:45
That's why I create a steward your business to help business owners and their teams.
32:47
Matt is being helping individuals on this journey, whether you're an entrepreneur,
32:52
whether you're leading teams or not. The fact that you want to lead yourself
32:55
well, Matt and I so appreciate you being an example and calling up other
33:01
men to live this way. So I appreciate and honor you Matt for coming
33:07
on and sharing your journey with us today. Thank you, David. Honored
33:10
to be here. Thank you for the invitation. It's always a pleasure to
33:13
connect with you and talk with you. Man oh thanks, Thanks everybody,
33:16
Please, we love your comments and your feedback. Comment leave us a five
33:22
star review, wouldn't mine on your favorite platform, Apple or whatnot? Find
33:27
us on YouTube if you're listening to us here, you can see Matt and
33:29
I on the screen. We just really appreciate all your support and engagement.
33:34
Have an amazing day. Until next time, take good care, Thanks everybody,