Latest / Johnjay & Rich On Demand / Brandon needs GROUP THERAPY! His wife wants to LEAVE HIM?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Judge and Rich Brandon.
- 0:02Speaker 2: Hey, John Day, what's going on?
- 0:04Speaker 3: It just says on the phone screen, Here says Brandon,
- 0:06Speaker 3: and this is advice.
- 0:08Speaker 1: So do you need advice? Are you giving us advice?
- 0:10Speaker 3: Oh?
- 0:11Speaker 2: No, I need you have's advice because y'all have always
- 0:15Speaker 2: you always have great advice. Leave it or not, you
- 0:17Speaker 2: always seem to pull through. My wife is talking about
- 0:23Speaker 2: leaving me. She wants to leave me, and she wants
- 0:26Speaker 2: to talk to another guy. And I don't even know
- 0:30Speaker 2: where to start with this because we have a nine
- 0:33Speaker 2: month old and you know, it's it's a tough situation
- 0:40Speaker 2: and not to be a buzzkill, but I need some help.
- 0:44Speaker 4: When she said she wants to leave you, was it
- 0:47Speaker 4: an open ended conversation? Because I would almost kind of
- 0:50Speaker 4: think if she said that and she already has somebody
- 0:52Speaker 4: else in mind?
- 0:53Speaker 1: Did she not just go?
- 0:54Speaker 4: Or were you like, hey, can we please work on this?
- 0:57Speaker 2: I asked her, can we please work on this? She
- 0:59Speaker 2: was very like, I'm confused. I need to see him.
- 1:03Speaker 2: I need to talk to him. It was a guy
- 1:06Speaker 2: that she had talked to briefly her last year at
- 1:10Speaker 2: this time, and he tends to reach out to her
- 1:14Speaker 2: in the most random ways. She's had him blocked on everything. Well,
- 1:18Speaker 2: he went through Venmo to message her and sent her
- 1:24Speaker 2: money and to get her attention, and it just seems
- 1:27Speaker 2: like as soon as he gets her attention, she goes
- 1:31Speaker 2: back to him.
- 1:33Speaker 1: What do you said? It was a year ago? Were
- 1:34Speaker 1: you guys married a year ago?
- 1:36Speaker 5: We were married a year ago?
- 1:38Speaker 2: There was a part where she did she just she
- 1:41Speaker 2: didn't feel the same with the marriage a year ago.
- 1:45Speaker 2: And maybe that was pregnancy hormones with something of that sort,
- 1:49Speaker 2: but it was just it was a tough time in
- 1:52Speaker 2: our relationship and seemed to have gotten through it more.
- 1:55Speaker 2: And I've worked on the things that she wanted me
- 1:56Speaker 2: to work on, and I felt like she has worked
- 1:58Speaker 2: on the things that I wanted her to work on.
- 1:59Speaker 2: But yeah, it seems like this guy just he keeps
- 2:04Speaker 2: popping up and Franton's running right back to him.
- 2:08Speaker 6: What's her issue with you in the marriage? What did
- 2:10Speaker 6: she want you to work on?
- 2:13Speaker 2: Mainly to be more to be more present. I tend
- 2:18Speaker 2: to I work in a at a company that's a
- 2:21Speaker 2: twenty four to seven business, so there's I get phone
- 2:24Speaker 2: calls all day, you know, all day, all night. But
- 2:28Speaker 2: I do you know, I do it for her and
- 2:30Speaker 2: I do it for our little one. So that was
- 2:33Speaker 2: her main thing, was being more present and putting the
- 2:35Speaker 2: phone down. And I've I've done my best to do that.
- 2:39Speaker 2: So do you think that he, like this other guy,
- 2:42Speaker 2: is giving her that attention or he's easily accessible? Like
- 2:46Speaker 2: what is it that he's bringing to the table that makes.
- 2:49Speaker 7: Her want to go to her?
- 2:51Speaker 2: She makes her feel wanted, and I feel like I
- 2:54Speaker 2: do as well. I've always told her how beautiful she
- 2:56Speaker 2: I think she is. I tell her every morning, I
- 2:58Speaker 2: write her notes, I bring home flowers.
- 3:01Speaker 5: You know.
- 3:01Speaker 2: I tried to show her how I see her through
- 3:04Speaker 2: my eyes, and she just seems to be as soon
- 3:09Speaker 2: as he says hey to her, it seems like all
- 3:12Speaker 2: of her attention goes to him.
- 3:13Speaker 6: Yeah, that's not good for you.
- 3:14Speaker 1: How long have you guys been together.
- 3:17Speaker 2: We've been together for eleven years.
- 3:19Speaker 1: Okay, And do you know has she crossed that line
- 3:21Speaker 1: with him? Yes?
- 3:24Speaker 2: She did twice.
- 3:25Speaker 7: Wow.
- 3:25Speaker 3: Okay, man, I got to say something. I'm grateful you
- 3:29Speaker 3: call this for advice. I don't think we're qualified.
- 3:31Speaker 4: I was just going to say, I feel like you
- 3:32Speaker 4: need a professional.
- 3:33Speaker 6: I can considered.
- 3:35Speaker 4: Couples counseling with an actual like, I don't know, I
- 3:39Speaker 4: don't know what you take advantage of.
- 3:43Speaker 1: She's like a sweet guy.
- 3:44Speaker 3: But man, and what's what the guy is the guy
- 3:46Speaker 3: at all married as well?
- 3:48Speaker 2: No, he's he's just a single guy.
- 3:51Speaker 1: That just.
- 3:54Speaker 2: He just does this.
- 3:55Speaker 6: Have you showed up to talk to him and say
- 3:57Speaker 6: step step back?
- 3:59Speaker 2: I'm try, but he has me blocked on every single thing.
- 4:04Speaker 2: And I told you know, my main thing was if
- 4:06Speaker 2: you're going to take my wife from me, I want
- 4:09Speaker 2: her to be happy and I want you to treat
- 4:10Speaker 2: her right.
- 4:13Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you get walked on.
- 4:15Speaker 2: No, I do too, But it's but yeah, that's why
- 4:20Speaker 2: I was trying to try to figure it out because
- 4:23Speaker 2: I don't want to bring it to my family and
- 4:24Speaker 2: my friends yet because it's there's just a part of
- 4:28Speaker 2: me that hopes.
- 4:29Speaker 1: She comes back. Does she move out already?
- 4:33Speaker 2: No, we're still living together because and I'm living in
- 4:36Speaker 2: the guest room and she's in our in our room.
- 4:39Speaker 2: That's mainly just so I can see my daughter.
- 4:41Speaker 3: Holy smokes, man, I tell you what, why don't we
- 4:45Speaker 3: let our audience give you advice?
- 4:47Speaker 1: Does that work?
- 4:48Speaker 8: Yeah?
- 4:48Speaker 1: Okay, So let's that'd be great.
- 4:50Speaker 3: All right, so call eight seven seven nine three seven
- 4:54Speaker 3: one o four seven if you have advice for Brandon,
- 4:56Speaker 3: because clearly the four of us are not prepared or
- 5:00Speaker 3: fight for any of this. But maybe someone listening, Maybe
- 5:01Speaker 3: we have a therapist listening. All right, Brandon, So hang tight,
- 5:04Speaker 3: let's take some calls. All right, thank you, eight seven
- 5:08Speaker 3: seven nine three seven one oh four seven.
- 5:11Speaker 1: We'll get into it next. It's John Jay and rich
- 5:14Speaker 1: or throw some shade. Oh you called John Jay and
- 5:17Speaker 1: rich seven.
- 5:18Speaker 3: Nine seven Brandon, Brandon, Yeah, gotcha, Okay, So listen.
- 5:27Speaker 1: I thought about you all day yesterday, dude. It was
- 5:31Speaker 1: appreciate it. Yeah, your story was very tough to listen
- 5:34Speaker 1: to and to deal with.
- 5:35Speaker 3: So, like I said, nobody in this studio is qualified
- 5:38Speaker 3: to give you that answer, but the people listening to
- 5:40Speaker 3: our show might, and we got a lot of people
- 5:42Speaker 3: that have advice for you. So quick recap if you're
- 5:44Speaker 3: just tuning in. Brandon has a nine month old baby girl.
- 5:48Speaker 3: He's been with his wife for eleven years, and she
- 5:50Speaker 3: wants to leave him for a guy, and the guy
- 5:54Speaker 3: won't stop coming after.
- 5:56Speaker 1: Her like she's been blocked.
- 5:59Speaker 3: He's a crazy story, but that's a quick recap, right Brandon, Yes, sir, Okay,
- 6:04Speaker 3: here we go. Let's say hello to Vivian. Vivian, good morning.
- 6:07Speaker 3: What what advice do you have for Brandon?
- 6:11Speaker 9: Well, I think it's a complicated situation and we don't
- 6:14Speaker 9: know all aspects for not there with him and his wife.
- 6:18Speaker 9: But I think the unfortunate advice I would give is
- 6:20Speaker 9: if she wants to leave, he needs to let her leave.
- 6:26Speaker 9: There's been an attempt at repairing about a year ago,
- 6:30Speaker 9: she told him what she needed. He feels like he's
- 6:32Speaker 9: done this, and a year later, this person has re
- 6:35Speaker 9: entered her life and she has read you know, especially
- 6:38Speaker 9: said hey, I want to explore. You know, life with
- 6:41Speaker 9: him right now is definitely one of those like it's
- 6:44Speaker 9: not Brandon, it's the wife, and it's the wife, and
- 6:48Speaker 9: it's not the random dude on the side, Like, yes,
- 6:50Speaker 9: he's the sort of temptation, but she's the one making
- 6:53Speaker 9: the decision to explore and leave her marriage for him.
- 6:57Speaker 9: And obviously there are needs that are not being fulfilled
- 6:59Speaker 9: for her that he is filling and Brandon may not
- 7:04Speaker 9: fill ever, But you know that only time will tell,
- 7:07Speaker 9: honestly in that regard.
- 7:09Speaker 1: So you're saying, let her go. Yeah, okay, that's tough,
- 7:14Speaker 1: that's Brandon.
- 7:15Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it's a very valid point.
- 7:19Speaker 3: I think what what makes it even harder? So you
- 7:21Speaker 3: got a little baby involved? What is that clicking noise, Vivia?
- 7:27Speaker 3: And you make it a turn?
- 7:29Speaker 6: Yeah, I am.
- 7:32Speaker 1: That you have. That's a loud.
- 7:34Speaker 9: Clicker, Chevy equinox.
- 7:37Speaker 8: Don't judge me.
- 7:40Speaker 6: The aggressive blinker.
- 7:42Speaker 1: What Brandon gets out of this?
- 7:43Speaker 3: I'm gonna get an equinox now, okay, all right, by Vivian,
- 7:46Speaker 3: thank you.
- 7:47Speaker 1: Listen to Megan. You do, Megan, good morning. What's your
- 7:49Speaker 1: advice for Brandon?
- 7:51Speaker 7: So, I mean, unfortunately, my advice is very similar to Vivian,
- 7:57Speaker 7: is that this other dude is not a problem. It's
- 8:01Speaker 7: his spouse. And if you were my friend, I would
- 8:05Speaker 7: be telling you you need to believe this person when
- 8:08Speaker 7: they show you who they are. And I know it
- 8:10Speaker 7: sounds very trite, but you need to believe them. And
- 8:13Speaker 7: she's showing you that you're I mean, unfortunately, she's not
- 8:17Speaker 7: showing you that you're a priority. And I would file
- 8:23Speaker 7: for a joint custody of my daughter, and I would
- 8:27Speaker 7: I would leave, I mean, I would, I would tell
- 8:29Speaker 7: any friend of mine that you shouldn't be putting up
- 8:31Speaker 7: with that. It's just not right. And I know a
- 8:35Speaker 7: broken home, because I come from one, isn't the best
- 8:38Speaker 7: for a child. But it's also not good to stay
- 8:41Speaker 7: in a situation. It's not good to show your child
- 8:44Speaker 7: to stay in a situation that is harmful to you.
- 8:47Speaker 6: That's a good point because Brandon probably feels like he's
- 8:50Speaker 6: he's walking on eggshells at all time, like he can't
- 8:55Speaker 6: just be himself.
- 8:56Speaker 1: Your thoughts branded, Yeah, so I walk on.
- 9:00Speaker 2: I wouldn't say I mean Exhel's pretty close to it.
- 9:03Speaker 2: It's just I just want to make sure like I'm
- 9:05Speaker 2: making her happy. And that's what I've always felt, is
- 9:09Speaker 2: am I doing enough to make her happy? And you know,
- 9:12Speaker 2: I'm constantly scared that he's trying to make contact with her,
- 9:16Speaker 2: And you know, we go months at a time where
- 9:19Speaker 2: there's no issues, and then as soon as he makes contact,
- 9:22Speaker 2: it just seems like I'm the second in our relationship.
- 9:25Speaker 1: Hey, let me ask you this. So she started her
- 9:28Speaker 1: relationship with him when.
- 9:32Speaker 2: He had a rough part in our marriage, which was
- 9:35Speaker 2: caused by me. I was confused, and I just I
- 9:38Speaker 2: didn't go after somebody I just thought I needed a break,
- 9:41Speaker 2: and during that break, she found this guy.
- 9:45Speaker 1: And that was a year ago, yes, sir, And there
- 9:50Speaker 1: was nothing before that.
- 9:53Speaker 3: Because I got to tell you I got a DM yesterday,
- 9:55Speaker 3: because I was so involved in your situation, I made
- 9:58Speaker 3: a video yesterday. I was like, I got say about
- 10:00Speaker 3: this guy ran in I put on my Instagram. It
- 10:02Speaker 3: was a huge smash, thousands of yous. You could see
- 10:05Speaker 3: it in my stories. Anyway, that's it, John j Vanni. No,
- 10:07Speaker 3: but some guy messed me said, you know, and I
- 10:09Speaker 3: don't know if this is gonna hurt feelings or not,
- 10:11Speaker 3: but he's like, you might want to get a DNA
- 10:13Speaker 3: test on that baby, is what they said a year ago.
- 10:17Speaker 6: Ye right, that's why maybe she's stepping around like uh
- 10:22Speaker 6: like maybe like paid a lot of attention to that,
- 10:24Speaker 6: and I say it's.
- 10:24Speaker 1: Not your baby. Then there's a whole what's your take
- 10:29Speaker 1: on that?
- 10:31Speaker 2: Well, dang, John Jay, you put that in my head?
- 10:33Speaker 1: Now what better I have it in your head? What
- 10:34Speaker 1: is better now than you did? I heard you got
- 10:37Speaker 1: a baby by buster.
- 10:39Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I it's a that's a valid point. You know,
- 10:46Speaker 2: I don't after all of this, She's not a bad person.
- 10:50Speaker 2: She's a great person, and I think she gets confused.
- 10:53Speaker 6: But but you sound like a good dude too. But
- 10:56Speaker 6: but it does seem like, uh, you are not being
- 10:59Speaker 6: given and like the truth right for yourself, and you're
- 11:05Speaker 6: kind of like in the libow with your wife.
- 11:08Speaker 1: Kid.
- 11:08Speaker 3: Let's go to Deborah. Deborah's got advice to Deborah. Good morning.
- 11:11Speaker 3: You're on the air at Brandon.
- 11:12Speaker 1: Go ahead, good man.
- 11:14Speaker 8: It's uh, it sounds like she's infatuated with this If
- 11:18Speaker 8: it's not the father, if she's actually the real father,
- 11:21Speaker 8: maybe that's why. But I think she's actually's just been
- 11:25Speaker 8: sactuated with this guy, and she knows her husband for
- 11:28Speaker 8: eleven years. She knows that she could get away with that.
- 11:32Speaker 5: Thank you.
- 11:36Speaker 1: Okay, let her go. Let's go to Roy, Roy, good morning.
- 11:40Speaker 5: I was gonna say text the DNA text it's been
- 11:43Speaker 5: a year. I'm sorry, guy, but I was in a
- 11:47Speaker 5: relationship with this lady for fifteen years and after twelve
- 11:51Speaker 5: years just teated and I trying to make it work
- 11:53Speaker 5: and then didn't work again, so I checked the DNA.
- 11:58Speaker 5: I'm sorry, Rowbo. All right, thanks Roy.
- 12:02Speaker 1: It's tough.
- 12:02Speaker 5: You know.
- 12:03Speaker 3: The thing too, is like, let's just say that it's
- 12:06Speaker 3: not your baby, but you already got nine months of
- 12:08Speaker 3: love of that baby, right, I mean right?
- 12:11Speaker 4: Also, wouldn't you ever find out now, yeah, rather than
- 12:16Speaker 4: seventeen years down the road, hettle Kid.
- 12:18Speaker 6: Wonders that would at least get you kind of some
- 12:21Speaker 6: clarification on where you are with your relationship with your wife. Anyway,
- 12:25Speaker 6: But it's like, I know, it's easy for people outside
- 12:27Speaker 6: of it to look at this and think of it
- 12:28Speaker 6: as black and white. It's just not for you because
- 12:30Speaker 6: there's all those feelings involved.
- 12:32Speaker 3: A couple of text messages, this call breaks my heart.
- 12:34Speaker 3: He needs to protect his heart and just let her go.
- 12:36Speaker 3: She's not the one for him. He can find someone
- 12:38Speaker 3: who truly is his person and not someone who keeps
- 12:40Speaker 3: wondering every time. A guy says high they can co
- 12:42Speaker 3: parent their daughter, but he needs to let her go.
- 12:46Speaker 3: Another person's advice for Brandon, this says nothing to do
- 12:48Speaker 3: with him. She's already checked out of the relationship. There's
- 12:51Speaker 3: absolutely nothing he could do to make things better. She's
- 12:53Speaker 3: merely given him things to change to help relieve her conscience.
- 12:56Speaker 3: If I was Brandon, I would let her go. So
- 13:00Speaker 3: that's a lot. That's a lot of the same advice,
- 13:04Speaker 3: but I hope will help you out. Brandon, And I'm
- 13:05Speaker 3: so glad you came to Did we help you out?
- 13:06Speaker 3: Did we give you some advice?
- 13:08Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, y'all did. And I really appreciate y'all's, you know,
- 13:11Speaker 2: taking time to cover this with me. It gives me
- 13:14Speaker 2: a lot to think about at the end of the day.
- 13:16Speaker 2: Like I said, she's she's a great person in general,
- 13:19Speaker 2: she's made bad decisions. I don't know where I go
- 13:21Speaker 2: from here. It's gonna be tough, but it's definitely worse. Well,
- 13:25Speaker 2: it's definitely a lot that I'm gonna be thinking about
- 13:27Speaker 2: it later today.
- 13:29Speaker 3: Download the podcast because you'll be on it and you
- 13:31Speaker 3: can hear everyone's advice. In case you did, it didn't
- 13:33Speaker 3: sink in so you can listen to it over and
- 13:34Speaker 3: over again. So if you go to wherever you get podcasts, iHeartRadio,
- 13:37Speaker 3: download John Jay and Rich on demand, you can listen
- 13:39Speaker 3: to the advice people. And people are still calling to
- 13:41Speaker 3: give you advice. So I have a great day. But dude,
- 13:44Speaker 3: and thank you for listening.
- 13:45Speaker 1: Yes, thank You'll praying for you, man,