Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Empowering Decision-Making: Tina Parker's Journey from Military Precision to Trusting Intuition and Emotional Intelligence

Transcript

Empowering Decision-Making: Tina Parker's Journey from Military Precision to Trusting Intuition and Emotional Intelligence · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuro encoding science, empowering these Hello, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Society forging a new path forward.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: So we have one of my favorites.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Tina, before I introduce you, I just got to say something.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: I think we should just create a video for you.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: You've been on here enough times now.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: We should have an intro video for you.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: And here we go again.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: We're going to have another conversation.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: So anybody that doesn't know Tina yet Tina Parker is a retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist, a transformational leadership expert, brain health advocate and a renowned speaker and mentor.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: She really comes from the heart with science-backed information, but heart-centered.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: So, tina, people that don't know you yet, why don't you share just a little bit more about yourself?
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Sure, if this is the first time you're tuning in, shame on you that you haven't tuned in earlier, but we're excited you're here.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: So, yes, spent 23 years in the Air Force partial active duty, partial reserve and also about 13 years with Department of Homeland Security.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Started a couple of businesses because I can't figure out what I want to be when I grow up but you know that's isn't that our plate forever for our lives but had so many amazing opportunities to work with incredible people to have some impact.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Obviously, not by myself.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: It's a team effort.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: As those of you who are veterans know, it's always a team effort, but some really amazing opportunities and part of that has led me to becoming part of the Neuroencoding Institute, where Michael and I met and his wife, susan, and just this amazing community of folks who are out there literally just from the heart to help people elevate in their lives in whatever way that is for them.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: So excited for this conversation today.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Absolutely love it, and you know my wife, of course, first one on there, absolutely.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Tina should have her own intro, great.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: I'll put that on the list, I know.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I'll get my team to do it.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Don't worry about it, tina.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: I got you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: So you know.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Today, before we really get started, I just want to remind everybody.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: See if I can do it right.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, on the top right-hand corner of your screen there's a blue QR code.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Scan that.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: It takes you to empowerperformatestrategiescom for people listening on the podcast forums later on.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Again, empowerperformatestrategiescom.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: There are all kinds of resources, free eBooks that I've written.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: There are Facebook groups for both family members and veterans to get involved and get into a community, if you will.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: There's free trainings.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: There's all kinds of good stuff.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: So please take a look at that and be part of the mission.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: All right, with that said, Tina.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Parker.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: So today we're going to talk about trust, but verify, so you know.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: With your experience as a leader spans, you know both military service and, of course, civilian life.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: What's the most profound lessons you've learned about decision-making and high pressure environments and connecting that with, obviously, trust and verify, which we're going to talk about today.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Wow, well, there's a lot of.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of things, but what I will share is so much of the time, we get conditioned to not trust our own intuition, right, and to trust but verify, right.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: That's what we're talking about today.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: It's like well, where did you find that?
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: That's the answer?
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: Show me where that is.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: And you're always having to validate and verify and sometimes and it was my case and I had to get myself to consciously come back to it but we get disconnected from what we know.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Like, our lived experience gives us information that we get to tap into, right, and our bodies are always trying to tell us something.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Pain means hey, something's out of whack here.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: You may want to pay attention, right, but if we're like no, no, it's fine, I'll be fine, like, eventually it breaks down, right, but it's the same thing when we are trying to make decisions.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: If we are always, just constantly looking outside of ourselves, then we're not bringing our.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: It's a journey to get back to trusting yourself, cause, literally, when you were a baby and you wanted food, you didn't sit there and go.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Well, my parents are really busy, and so I guess I should try to figure something else out.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: No, you were like hey, I am hungry over here, pay attention, I need to right Cause you knew.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: But over time we just get disconnected from that.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: We try to make concessions and we try to assess what's happening around us which I'm not saying, don't do that but we forget that we have innate wisdom within us.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: We have needs and desires that need to be attended to as well, and so there's a balance and an integration that gets to happen and that can be a journey for a lot of us.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: And you know, nowadays there's so much information out there.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I don't care what you're looking at.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: You know you look at diet, things you look at I mean, it's across the board.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: You just don't know what to believe anymore, right?
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: So give me some thoughts and tips on.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: You know, ways to bring yourself back to trust.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Let's start there.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Let's start there.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, the first thing really is to recognize that your lived experience has value.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, so, the experiences that you have in your life create who you are, and so, if you know, in your gut you feel it right and this is a scientific thing too Like there's neurons throughout your whole body, it's not just in your brain that tell you hey, I'm sensing something here and I want you to be aware of it.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: It's not just your brain talking to your body, it's the other way around too.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Okay, so trusting is like that gut instinct when it says, hmm, I don't think this is a good idea, or I don't think that's true, there's something there.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: So pay attention, right, cause, like you said, everything, there's so much information out there and so we can't just say, well, because it on google, it must be true, like no, a lot of times it's not.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: What's funny is, um, you also for for positive things, right, like you get a chill on your arm when somebody says something that just connects right, and god knows, I get that a lot here.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: So you know, for me, you know, you know, you know Tina Parker.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Every time I say Tina Parker I think of Spider-Man.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know why it still happens.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: It just does, you know, and like when Spidey senses, for instance, I mean I call them my bullshit senses because something's popping up and going.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, but you're right though, too, because you get that sense of, ooh, that's exciting, right, you get this feeling of an energy moving through your body.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: That is an indication for you, right, pay attention, because there's something there, and, like you said, it doesn't always have to be a warning, right, of something bad.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's that pull right and we feel this, and I know a lot of times we feel this pull towards something in our body, and then we rationalize ourselves out of it, right, and that is, oh, yeah, but I don't have this.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Or right now, let's look, we get into this consistently when we're talking.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: But whatever follows, yeah, but cut it off.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Just cut it off, because that is your rational mind, trying to just keep you safe from something that it just doesn't understand.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: Right, and when you have that feeling in your body, you may not logically be able to understand it, but trust that.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, there's something here for me to get curious about what might be on the other side of that.
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: I love that you say that curious right, because that's really what it is, and that's again good or bad.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: When something's there and you're not understanding it, your brain is going wacko like it does I shouldn't say wacko Scientifically thing.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: That's a scientific, technical term.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: It is right when, when your brain is going through and it's it's analyzing and trying to protect us, right, which is what our brain does, and with the least amount of energy it can use, um, it's.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: It's really an interesting thing how the brain works.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Can you talk a little bit just about that?
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Um specifically and and I know we've talked about this before, but but it's a major thing people don't really get is how our brain protects us and how all of those thoughts that repeat over and over and over again, what is it?
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: 90% of the time we repeat the same thoughts the next day and the day after that, the day after that, because our brain's trying to protect ourselves.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Give me some thoughts on that for people that aren't aware, and just let's talk about that.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's such a great conversation, no matter what it is that we're talking about, right?
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: If we just talked about this every single time we get on the podcast, it would be beneficial, because our brain's mission statement it's really important to understand this your brain's mission statement is to keep you safe, keep you comfortable and to expend the least amount of energy to do that.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Like that's it, it's trying to help you survive, right.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: And so what it's going to do is it's scanning around you, everything around you, all the billions of sensory input that's coming in and it's going okay.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Is that familiar enough to me so that I can make a determination on what pattern might come from this?
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: And so if something is familiar, it feels familiar, it seems familiar.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Your brain understands what could come from that.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: It makes the determination that, okay, that's fine, because even if it's the devil I know it's still the devil, but I know what's coming so I can manage that Right.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: And so we need to be aware of that, because our brain is always just trying to pattern recognition.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: It's going okay, I recognize this pattern, I know what's on the other side of that, not too scary.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: But if there's something that you really want to do like you really want to go public or something, but you're having this fear around it totally natural, by the way, right, you're having this fear, but it's because it's not because you're not good at it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: It's not because you don't have what it takes.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: It's because you maybe don't have something that's familiar in your past and your brain's like, oh, I don't know what could happen.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: On the other side of that, you could say something really stupid.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: You could fall off the stage like, oh, we're not doing this Right, that's where you get to be conscious of OK, that's just my loop playing out.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: That's not actually my truth.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: What is my truth?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Fantastic.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: So you know, when people kind of get into that and let's won't go too deep, because we want to get into, obviously, verify, and we're almost halfway done with the show already somehow.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: So military, specifically, if we can, of course, and families, right, which which is a lot of people in the United States and around the world, so let's talk about that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: So you know you're getting into and I know you touched base a little bit on it already, but you're getting into.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is weird, leaning into it.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Give me some thoughts on how to move forward from it.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: You know you can't rub dirt on it because it's your mind, you know right.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: You know you can't rub dirt on it because it's your mind, you know right.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: So so what are some thoughts, uh, for for you that you use or you teach clients to help, you know, move them beyond that when they realize they're in that spin cycle, if you will okay, part of it, and some people who have been conditioned to not believe your feelings, to think facts don't care about your feelings, right, I hear that all the time.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: Facts don't care about your feelings.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: Actually, when you are disconnected from your feelings, you don't have the full awareness and capability to make decisions Right.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: And so when we and I, from my own perspective, I know, being an as a Lieutenant when I was just starting out my career I was pretty much like hey, I know what I'm doing, I'm good here, I'm good Now.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: There's a difference in bravado and actually feeling that, hey, I'm confident here.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: Totally different, right, but I remember that I, I I answered a question one time because I knew the answer.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: I was like oh, I know that, I remember that.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: And someone asked me they're like how do you know that?
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: I was like, well, cause, I know it.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Like I just I felt it in my gut.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I know that and I could remember Right.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: And they're like no, no, where in the air force instruction does it say that that's the right answer?
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: And I went I don't know.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: And they're like you need to know that.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: And so I remember that point specifically because I then was like, oh gosh, I have to validate every single thing I say.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: And when you feel that way, now, absolutely validate and verify.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying just because you have a feeling it's true, because that's not always true either, but not being connected and not noticing that, hey, I've got this feeling, let me assess if that's true.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: And just pushing that aside and going, nope, I only can validate what's external to me.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: That's when we start to get fully disconnected.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: And I'll tell you, we don't make the best decisions when we are not also considering our lived experience, our intuition.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: What's this feel like in my body?
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: Because you know, when you're engaged with somebody and like they're hiding something or something feels off, like you may not be able to logically say, well, it's because their left eye twitched or it's because this happened.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: But your body is responding to these energetic movements, to these subtle cues that it goes, huh, something's not right there, right, and if you just dismiss all of that, you're going to find yourself in some pretty bad situations.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Find yourself in some pretty bad situations, okay.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: So it really comes back to connecting with who you are.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Understanding your feelings, like okay, when, when a baby cries, a lot of times moms will go.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's a hurt cry, that's a hungry cry, right, like wait.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: No, it's just a cry.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: What do you mean?
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Oh, no, I can sense the subtle differences in what that is.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: We have to do that for ourselves and we can be conditioned throughout all the experiences in our lives to disassociate from those subtle cues that are coming up for us.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: But that's going to lead us to not making the best decisions for ourselves that we could be making.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: I absolutely love that you brought that up.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Literally it's got chills.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: So you know, totally right, here we go.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: So you know when you're in that that negative state of mind, right, I mean, I just want the audience to kind of stop and think just for a second.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: Go back to you know you were stressed out, you felt overwhelmed, anxious, not sure all these things.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Do you make better decisions panicked or calm and confident?
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Really, think about that because you literally and I'm going to ask Tina Parker for a tip to get yourself re-centered, tip to get yourself re-centered and so you're in that right mindset and that positive mindset to move forward and make good decisions.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Because when you're calm and you're focused and you're able to relax and just say it's this because the answers come easier and they're I'm not going to say always, but I'm going to say 99% of the time for me personally, they're better decisions, absolutely.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Tina, give us a tip.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: So I know a lot of people might look at like breath work as being some woo-woo thing.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm going to share with you.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: You breathe every single stinking day.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: You may as well do it right.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: This is not woo woo, literally.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: When you can pause, pause, notice and choose is what I'm going to drop right there.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: When something feels out of whack, pause, notice what's happening around me, how's my breathing?
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: Because most of the time when we're like stressed, we're breathing really shallow.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: We're not fully calm and grounded and we kind of feel like all of our tensions outside of ourselves.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: I'm feeling revved up here.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: You're actually shutting down parts of your brain that you need access to to fully function, to make the best decisions right.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: As a brain health trainer and neuro encoding specialist as we are, that's really important because it's not just I feel better, so I function better.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: It literally is when I am calm, I can take deep breaths and slow down my heart rate.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: Parts of your brain come back online, if that's how you want to look at it, right, but when you're constricted, parts of your brain stop functioning at their highest level because it's like oh, we're in survival mode here.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, I don't need to have access to all the things I know I need to have access to.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: How do I get out of whatever?
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: This is right.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: You want to have access to all the things you know already.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: You want to have access to what's coming in, and you can't do that when you are in a fight, flight, flight, freeze, stressed out, kind of restricted way in your body.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Okay, so it really is about if I want to show up in my highest capabilities, breathe deeply, be grounded in your center, connect back to your body.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: This is what creates that trust in yourself.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: And when you start to notice awareness is the first thing when you start to notice, hey, things are feeling a little crazy right now, take a second count, breathe reset and allow your brain to come back online so you can make better decisions.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, fantastic.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: You know, johnny Pardo was on here yesterday talking about breath work and the psychology and so on, and it's just so important to you know.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: Breath work it's not, it's think about a baby, when, when they're a baby and you see them and how, when they're all calm and sleeping or just resting, their breaths from the belly, right.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: So think about this for yourself too.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Their breaths from the belly go first, then the chest rises and it's calm and it's slow right.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Focus on doing that for yourself, and it's amazing how you get to the same place.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Absolutely Slow it down, like Tina said, and just think about that baby and the calmness of that baby, how that changes and literally can recenter you within seconds.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Now, I love how you brought up the belly too, because if we pay attention which most of us don't because breathing is an autonomic thing right, it just happens.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: But if you literally pay attention, you'll probably notice you breathe up here.
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: Most of the time we just shallow breathe up here, but when we can consciously think of okay, pull my breath down into my belly, let my belly fill up like a balloon, and then push it back up, you will be amazed at how just three to five breaths like that will help to recenter you and get you back online.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and it's.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: It's funny because for our brains, if we get a little bit of the science, part of it, our brains want the oxygen right, and when our, when we're oxygenated I don't know if that's a word, but go with it so we have more energy because we have more oxygen and so forth down to ourselves and of course our brain gets more oxygen and so forth.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: So the lower part of our lungs actually larger than the top part.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: So when you fill up the bottom part first and then come up and fill up the top and stick your chest out at the end, there where most people say I'm going to take a deep breath and they just stick their chest out, breathing in which gets less than half Don't quote me on that, it's an assumption.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: But the lower part of the lungs is the magic, exactly, yeah, so just wanted to throw that out there.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: So, tina, let's move into Verify.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, I think it's super important because, like for me, I naturally I want to understand why on something, and it's not because I want to doubt it or I'm suspicious or any of those things, it's just the way I am.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I love the science project.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Oh Lord, thank you.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: Neuron Coding Great, yeah.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about verify.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: You know what's the first things you would suggest as far as hey, not to get into that.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: You know that you know unstable mindset or state of mind, but just let's verify it, let's make sure that it's right Talk about that.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Well, I think we have to be mindful of where our information comes from, right, and especially like.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Let's take news cycles these days, I'm a public affairs officer, yeah, so I had to watch the news all the time and we'd constantly be shifting between the different newscasts because people have their own slants on things, right, and so the, the, the, the real.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: I guess the real juice of this is to see hey, what do I believe?
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: What's true for me?
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Listen to what's going on around us, seek out understanding, deeper understanding of things.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Like you said, with the science I'm the same way.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: That's why I went into the brain, health and all the stuff.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: I was like what's happening in there?
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: I want to know, right, because I truly believe that when we can understand what is happening inside of our bodies, we make better choices.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: We make better decisions.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: We can create and connect to bigger possibilities for ourselves.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Right, and so, if I didn't, I would just be sitting here thinking to myself well, that sounds good.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: I don't have anything to anchor that in and root that in, right, but it is listening to my body going.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: I think there's something here.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Maybe I'd like to go find out more about that and then, being mindful about who you are learning from.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Right, even with us, with Neuroencoding Institute, joseph McClendon theon III is our mentor and the creator of neuroencoding.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: We look at his history, his lived experience in this arena right, yes, he's got the degrees a doctorate degree.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: Yes, he was a professor at UCLA for neuroencoding, right, but he actually put this in practice with people and he'll show us and share with us the stories of how this applied and what came out of it with these people, so you really can sink your teeth into that and go okay, there's something here that I can work with for myself and the people I serve as well, rather than somebody who's just standing up there going.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: I know it all.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Come, listen to me, right?
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: It's not, yeah, it's not about following the sages on the stages.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: It is about following those guides who come alongside you to go let me help you utilize my knowledge in a way that works for you, so that you can take it out into the world, and that is something I feel like Joseph has done brilliantly with us.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: And so, yeah, I just want to share that, because it matters who you learn from.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's super important, right, you want to when you're learning something, and I've done this my whole career.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: You know many people know I dropped out of school right after eighth grade.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I took a different journey and I learned from the people that I trusted and respected, you know and they were my science project.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: I asked a million questions and once I know something, look out you know so it's.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: It's it's so important to learn from people.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: My opinion you know for the most part that have done it or or know a lot about it or whatever the case may be.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: You know, like for us, you know, and Joseph you know, know, yes, he learned from all those people and and and helped all those people, which is absolutely amazing, but he does the same stuff himself exactly.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: He applies it to his own life too and you see him doing it.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, when I've been around him, you see him doing these things, you know, which is absolutely fantastic and I.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I love something you just brought up too is asking the questions right.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: So much of the time, if we can be like no, I know that, and yes, we want to trust ourselves, but that doesn't mean we don't get to be curious.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: We can trust ourselves and go okay.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: Why is that true for me?
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: What is my lived experience that helps me to know that that's true?
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Might there be something else that I don't know that I could go find out?
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: You know all of these different questions.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: It's really about being curious and asking those generative questions to open up other possibilities, rather than just blindly taking whatever someone tells you externally and disregarding how you feel about it.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I love that and I want to add to that as well is even your perspectives, or what you thought you knew.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: Revisit it, yeah, yeah.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: How many times have you went back and let's just get crazy here From 18 years old, what I thought I knew I was confident about, now I'll forget it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of years ago, tina.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: So I mean, how much have you learned and have a different perspective?
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, and the more you learn, the more you realize that and and get out of ego right of oh I know, I already know that.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: And lean into some of that right of oh I know, I already know that, and lean into some of that stuff.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: It really opens up the doors for so much more learning.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, I will never stop learning.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Lifelong learners right here yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: I don't want to.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, I want to keep learning and growing and all that fun stuff.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: So we're almost out of time here, tina, but I really wanted to talk really quick about analysis, paralysis, right, you know.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Can you share an example of how it might?
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: You know, one might break free from that, or even let's start with what it is, if you will, and then and then give us a tip to escape it, if you will.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah Well, I mean, we've all felt it.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: When there's so much, we're like it could be this, it could be that, well, I don't know.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: And we're second guessing and you just feel like you're swirling around trying to make a decision, but you never quite get anywhere Right.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: And so that's what we mean by analysis.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Paralysis is you're just analyzing all these different things and never quite pull it together to move forward.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: And so what I would say is one of the biggest components of moving beyond that is being very clear about where you're, what you're trying to bring to life, what, where are you trying to go?
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: Because not everything that comes into your peripheral needs to be analyzed.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: Some things don't matter for what you're trying to do, right.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: It's not that they don't matter at all, but get really clear about what am I trying to do here.
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: What is the experience that I want to create?
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: What am I trying to solve for?
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we don't even really know.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: We don't have clarity around what we're solving for, and so we just spin around in analyzing a whole bunch of stuff.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: So, clarity around what do I want to create?
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: How do I want to experience this?
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: Where am I trying to go here?
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: That will really help you to get beyond analysis paralysis.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: Fantastic, and I want to just add, if I can, to that just how many times have you gotten so overwhelmed that you just stopped doing it and didn't move forward?
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, so be careful of that analysis paralysis.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I love that, by the way, because it literally can stop your dreams.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just shoot the gun, stop aiming, because you're going to move forward still to some extent.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing Every time you do something, you're going to get more clarity to some extent, and that's the thing.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Every time you do something, you're going to get more clarity.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: So do something and then assess Go, is that good, is that working for me, is it not working for me?
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: And then move forward again.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: Right, you're not going to know every step that's going to come in front of you for the next 10 years.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: It's not going to happen, but you can know the very 10 years.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: It's not going to happen, but you can know the very next one, and then you can assess the next one and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: So, tina, we are at the end of the time.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: So, first of all, what kind of projects are you working on?
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, okay Working on.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: So I know I get so excited working on so many amazing things.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: So I know I get so excited working on so many amazing things.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Um, so we we have a visionary women's accelerator where women are coming together to break through what is getting in their way to really create what they want in their lives in a supportive environment.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: So totally love that, and one of the things that we want to do in honor of women coming together is where we created the happiest hour.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: It's so fun, it's amazing.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: It's an hour every month, totally free, so women can come together who they want, to celebrate what they're doing.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: Well, they want to learn from other ambitious, visionary women in a supportive environment where we are amplifying each other's brilliance and strengthening each other to move forward in whatever way.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: That is Right and one of the things I just want to share, because I know that a lot of times you come into these communities and you feel like there's competition or I got to put my mask on and show up a certain way.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: That is the antithesis of what we have created here.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: We want women to come and drop the mask.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: Let's just have the honest conversations and celebrate each other and create community that helps each other rise in whatever way.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: It is that we want to do that, and so I would love for women to join us at the happiest hour.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: You just put the link in there.
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: I saw it in the comment Perfect Lead outside the linescom slash T, h, h and come.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Come join us and just take that hour for yourself to really imagine what's possible in your life when you have the support of amazing women who just want to see you succeed.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Fantastic.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: And hey, I just want everybody to know.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: First of all, if you have the chance to work with Tina, do it, just do it, do not second guess it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: I am, I'm putting my stamp of approval on it, if you trust me.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: That's all I need.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Seriously, I cannot tell you the growth I've had just knowing Tina and having conversations with her and so forth.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: This is a dear friend here, so I put my stamp of approval here.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: Thank you and stamp coming right back at you.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: That's.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: Some of the things that you are up to in the world are really important and special and I am just excited to be a part of helping to get that out there for folks to know about.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: The mission is strong with us, that's for sure, huh.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: So three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: You know the drill.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: I know the drill.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, three tips Trust your lived experience, because it's valuable.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: Trust yourself and your intuition.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: Those little spidey senses are trying to tell you something, and then pause when you're feeling like you're getting a little out of whack and take a couple of breaths.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: So all of that stuff can come online to help you move forward faster.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: Absolutely love it.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: So, tina, thank you.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: I know we'll have you on tomorrow.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: We'll be back tomorrow, on the day after Mike and Tina show.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: So time is most valuable valued resource we have as human beings most precious one.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: We don't get it back.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you for spending some time with me, out of your life and, of course, our audience, bringing value so really appreciate you as always my friend and I think we're out of here.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: We're out of here.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: We'll see you next time.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Bye-bye.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.