Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 434. Breaking Free from Old Patterns & more (Headnoise)

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434. Breaking Free from Old Patterns & more (Headnoise) · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:13
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of today.
0:17
Speaker 1: So this is the head Noise episode. We are listening
0:20
Speaker 1: to your voice messages and we are answering them. I
0:24
Speaker 1: love these episodes. As you guys know, I have had
0:28
Speaker 1: We've had a huge Like we always get a lot
0:31
Speaker 1: of questions, whether it's voice messages, whether it's emails. But
0:35
Speaker 1: I feel like we've got we've had a big surge recently,
0:38
Speaker 1: which is I think just a massive indicator of people
0:41
Speaker 1: being like I love these fucking episodes. I'm really enjoying
0:44
Speaker 1: these questions and hearing things from different perspectives from different
0:49
Speaker 1: people and how they are experiencing things. And I also
0:51
Speaker 1: love these questions because I think that most people can
0:54
Speaker 1: apply someone's suffering or you know, redirection in life or
1:01
Speaker 1: whatever it is that they're going through to their life,
1:03
Speaker 1: even if it's not the same situation. So many ways
1:07
Speaker 1: of dealing with particular situations can be applied across the board.
1:11
Speaker 1: Whether it's indecisiveness with relationships, you can apply that to work,
1:14
Speaker 1: to friendships, to all kinds of things. Okay, so let's
1:18
Speaker 1: just dive straight in. I have four that I would
1:21
Speaker 1: like to get through this episode. So let's begin. This
1:26
Speaker 1: one's called breaking out of core coding Lexus.
1:34
Speaker 2: I wanted to start by saying thank you so much
1:36
Speaker 2: for everything you do. I think I listened to you
1:38
Speaker 2: every single week, and I always learned something. You definitely
1:41
Speaker 2: fill my cup. I wanted to talk to you today
1:45
Speaker 2: about what I would call my duel operating systems. I
1:50
Speaker 2: grew up in a really religious background. I had an
1:53
Speaker 2: amazing childhood, but it was just very heavily Bible coded.
1:59
Speaker 2: Then I move to a different country, I start to
2:01
Speaker 2: learn different ways of thinking, and I would say, now
2:04
Speaker 2: I've kind of separated myself from those like heavily religious
2:07
Speaker 2: views and made my own sort of opinions of the world. However,
2:14
Speaker 2: I still get the religious guilds. So if I'm doing
2:20
Speaker 2: something that I feel is maybe not in line with
2:23
Speaker 2: what I learned when I was younger, even though I
2:26
Speaker 2: know it's something I want for myself, I still get
2:28
Speaker 2: this sqloomy feeling. And I just wanted to see if
2:33
Speaker 2: you had any advice on how to sort of breakout
2:37
Speaker 2: of that like core like core coding and move forward
2:43
Speaker 2: with that guilt. Thank you, I really appreciate any advice.
2:50
Speaker 1: Such a fucking good question. That's such a good question.
2:53
Speaker 1: I was actually recently, and by recently probably like two
2:56
Speaker 1: years ago, talking to a good friend of mine who
2:59
Speaker 1: was really struggling with something quite similar in the sense
3:02
Speaker 1: that he's gay and he came out like as an adult,
3:06
Speaker 1: and he was raised religiously in a religious family, but
3:09
Speaker 1: he himself is not religious. However, he says that, you know,
3:14
Speaker 1: it's getting better and better, but he carries a lot
3:16
Speaker 1: of this, you know, internalized homophobia and guilt because of
3:20
Speaker 1: the way he was raised and the struggles that he
3:24
Speaker 1: had kind of breaking out of that. So I think
3:25
Speaker 1: that what you're going through would apply to a lot
3:28
Speaker 1: of people, and not just with religion, but also with
3:33
Speaker 1: beliefs that your parents, or your community, or your country
3:37
Speaker 1: or whatever it is wherever you were raised might hold.
3:39
Speaker 1: Where then you start to differ in those beliefs. So
3:41
Speaker 1: this is a really really good question because those beliefs
3:44
Speaker 1: that you were raised with that are you know ingrained
3:49
Speaker 1: in you, whether you align with them or not. They
3:52
Speaker 1: form part of this kind of internal working model which
3:56
Speaker 1: we've spoken about, and that's kind of your beliefs about
3:59
Speaker 1: the world, and they really heavily influence how we act,
4:03
Speaker 1: how we interact with the world, how we perceive the world,
4:06
Speaker 1: and our beliefs about what we're capable of having or
4:09
Speaker 1: what we're capable of deserving. Okay, So that internal working
4:14
Speaker 1: model is heavily influenced, obviously by your parents or the
4:17
Speaker 1: people that raise you, and it's really hard to snap
4:19
Speaker 1: out of it unless you are consciously trying to do so.
4:22
Speaker 1: So the answer, in a nutshell, and I'll go into
4:24
Speaker 1: it in a second, is to consciously be breaking out
4:28
Speaker 1: of that pattern. So you already know that, which is great.
4:32
Speaker 1: The first step is awareness. That's number one, which you have.
4:36
Speaker 1: So every time you feel like or I feel like
4:40
Speaker 1: I'm going against this, I'm going against that, you almost
4:42
Speaker 1: need well you don't almost. You need to pause, and
4:45
Speaker 1: you need to identify number one, what exactly am I
4:49
Speaker 1: going against? What is the exact belief I'm going against?
4:52
Speaker 1: Name it? Okay? So then you say, okay, with the
4:57
Speaker 1: way that I was raised, it goes against the religion
4:59
Speaker 1: to do do something, because if you do something according
5:02
Speaker 1: to the religion, it would mean this, and then the
5:04
Speaker 1: consequences would be this. Okay. So now you've really kind
5:09
Speaker 1: of cut it down to a very specific thing. The
5:12
Speaker 1: more specific you can get with your thoughts, the easier
5:16
Speaker 1: it is to tame them. Okay, if we go broad,
5:19
Speaker 1: and what I mean by broad is if you feel
5:21
Speaker 1: this sense of guilt, being like, I just feel like
5:24
Speaker 1: I'm kind of torn between these two things, but you
5:26
Speaker 1: don't get specific, then that guilt is likely going to
5:29
Speaker 1: brush over a lot of your behaviors, a lot of
5:31
Speaker 1: how you lead your life. You're going to think that
5:33
Speaker 1: the way you lead your life is wrong or you know,
5:37
Speaker 1: not in alignment with how other people would see it,
5:40
Speaker 1: and then you're less likely to feel comfortable living your
5:42
Speaker 1: life the way you want to live it. Okay, so
5:43
Speaker 1: get really specific, name it, get really clear. The more
5:46
Speaker 1: details around it the better, so you can really like
5:49
Speaker 1: whittle it down. Then you have to identify why it
5:54
Speaker 1: is that these competing new beliefs that you have are valid. Okay.
6:00
Speaker 1: A really good way of looking at this is don't
6:02
Speaker 1: look at things as they're being black or white, right
6:06
Speaker 1: or wrong. If we think that life has to be
6:08
Speaker 1: black and white, then we get very like we see
6:13
Speaker 1: a lot of competition in our life when there's a
6:16
Speaker 1: lot of room for gray. You have to realize that
6:19
Speaker 1: most people go through life without actually having the answers
6:23
Speaker 1: for a lot of things. So due to that, we
6:25
Speaker 1: lean to certain ways of living our life to guide us.
6:30
Speaker 1: Whether that be how you're choosing to live your life,
6:32
Speaker 1: how your parents chose to live their life, if someone
6:35
Speaker 1: chooses a religion, if someone choose whatever it is, okay,
6:38
Speaker 1: we look for guidance in a way that helps us
6:41
Speaker 1: feel like, this is the how I can align with
6:45
Speaker 1: how I want to live my life, so I feel
6:46
Speaker 1: like I'm doing the right thing. Otherwise I'm going to
6:48
Speaker 1: be too scattered. Otherwise I'm going to feel like I
6:49
Speaker 1: have no direction or whatever it is. And a lot
6:52
Speaker 1: of people find that really helpful. In religion, is it right?
6:55
Speaker 1: Is it wrong? We're not here to decide that, okay,
6:58
Speaker 1: we're not here to say about how you your life
7:00
Speaker 1: is wrong because or where's the proof that this or
7:03
Speaker 1: that's not your business. That's not your job to do that.
7:05
Speaker 1: I mean, you can if you want, but it's not
7:08
Speaker 1: your responsibility. So one thing that's really calming is to
7:11
Speaker 1: remind yourself that the way that you were raised is
7:15
Speaker 1: not the right or the wrong way. It's the way
7:20
Speaker 1: that works for the people that raised you, for the
7:23
Speaker 1: people in that religion. It works for them, so good
7:26
Speaker 1: on them to continue carrying out that way of life.
7:30
Speaker 1: Having said that it doesn't work for you. Okay, that's
7:34
Speaker 1: the beauty of individuality and of autonomy. It doesn't have
7:38
Speaker 1: to work for everyone, you know, because right now you
7:41
Speaker 1: might be feeling guilty that you're not aligning with those beliefs.
7:44
Speaker 1: But I bet you that you don't look at someone
7:47
Speaker 1: else who also is not religious and doesn't know and
7:49
Speaker 1: you judge them. You're only judging yourself. You're only judging
7:52
Speaker 1: yourself because you've got these like ingrain to beliefs. But
7:54
Speaker 1: you'll look at someone who's living the exact same life
7:56
Speaker 1: that you want to be living under the rule book
7:58
Speaker 1: that you want to live under, and you're probably thinking,
8:01
Speaker 1: I love how they're living their life. I love how
8:02
Speaker 1: they're doing that. Good on them, this is so great.
8:04
Speaker 1: You're not like, oh, you're saying, oh, you're doing the Oh.
8:08
Speaker 1: This is internalized because you've decided that for you it
8:13
Speaker 1: is wrong, but it's not. So the more you can
8:17
Speaker 1: remind yourself life is not black and white. There is
8:19
Speaker 1: no rule book that aligns with everyone, just like there
8:22
Speaker 1: is no rule book that aligns for every company. That
8:24
Speaker 1: you work for, or every relationship that you're in, you
8:27
Speaker 1: have to tailor it for what works for you, for
8:30
Speaker 1: what is healthiest for you. So when you look at
8:33
Speaker 1: that and when you feel that pang of like guilt
8:36
Speaker 1: that you've got, you're torn between the two. Number one,
8:39
Speaker 1: what is this exact feeling that I'm feeling? And number two,
8:42
Speaker 1: you say to yourself, you know, why do I think
8:45
Speaker 1: that this is wrong? When in reality, it's just I'm
8:48
Speaker 1: using a different rule book. Now, I've switched codes. You
8:51
Speaker 1: literally used breaking out of core coding. It's exactly what
8:55
Speaker 1: you're doing. I've switched codes. So while that might be
8:59
Speaker 1: wrong if if I were to follow that rule book,
9:02
Speaker 1: it's not wrong because I'm following a different rule book. Now, Okay,
9:05
Speaker 1: what works for these people? I love that for them.
9:10
Speaker 1: If it's comforting, if it gives them a sense of security,
9:12
Speaker 1: if it gives them a sense of connection, that's really good.
9:15
Speaker 1: But it didn't do that for me. So therefore, how
9:17
Speaker 1: could that be the right thing for me? It's impossible,
9:20
Speaker 1: all right. So, and the beauty about this is that
9:25
Speaker 1: it takes away judgment from both sides. You're not there
9:28
Speaker 1: trying to criticize and pick apart that life. I mean,
9:31
Speaker 1: you can. I'm sure there's many things that you can
9:32
Speaker 1: criticize from any anyone's version of living their life is
9:36
Speaker 1: good and bad, right, But I think it's good to
9:40
Speaker 1: not dwell on that because then you start trying to
9:42
Speaker 1: justify why you're not living that life and why you are.
9:45
Speaker 1: We need to kind of just be a bit more
9:47
Speaker 1: relaxed about the whole thing and be a bit more
9:49
Speaker 1: you know, fluid about the whole thing, and be like,
9:51
Speaker 1: all right, that works for them, doesn't work for me.
9:55
Speaker 1: They're entitled to that life as I am with mine,
9:57
Speaker 1: as long as for me. The number one thing, which
10:00
Speaker 1: I think goes without saying, as long as I'm not
10:02
Speaker 1: hurting anyone in the process, that I'm entitled to be
10:06
Speaker 1: living my life by my rule books the way I
10:09
Speaker 1: want to be doing it. Okay. Hopefully that helped, and
10:13
Speaker 1: it also helps you feel less disconnected. You can still
10:17
Speaker 1: connect with these people. You can still feel like you
10:20
Speaker 1: don't have to think, well, if I'm going to not
10:22
Speaker 1: believe the same thing that they're going to believe, I
10:24
Speaker 1: have to sever my life. I have to sever those types.
10:27
Speaker 1: I have to sever. It doesn't have to be that
10:29
Speaker 1: way because we're not thinking in black and white anymore. Okay,
10:32
Speaker 1: so we can accept the best of all worlds and
10:35
Speaker 1: the beauty if it is. You can look back and
10:37
Speaker 1: be like, you know, there were things about that life
10:39
Speaker 1: that actually really were nice, and I can probably take
10:42
Speaker 1: those lessons and bring them into my life now. And
10:44
Speaker 1: then there were things that for me that just absolutely
10:46
Speaker 1: didn't work. So therefo, I'm not going to take those things.
10:48
Speaker 1: So that way you can feel like, you know, I
10:51
Speaker 1: value what I did learn and I just absolutely do
10:54
Speaker 1: not value these other things that didn't serve me at all.
10:56
Speaker 1: So thank you, fucking peace be with you, pay some blessings. Okay, cool,
11:03
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for that question. Next one, it's
11:06
Speaker 1: how to not fuck up a good Thing? How good
11:09
Speaker 1: are these titles? Obsessed?
11:12
Speaker 3: Hi, Alexis, thank you so much for your podcast. I've
11:15
Speaker 3: been listening for the last two years and it has
11:18
Speaker 3: given me a lot of mental clarity around things that
11:21
Speaker 3: would have super messed me up in the past. So
11:24
Speaker 3: thank you for that. And I'm calling in from the US.
11:29
Speaker 3: I really liked your episode on how to fuck up
11:32
Speaker 3: a good thing by looking for something else because I
11:34
Speaker 3: feel like I go through that conundrum daily. I'm twenty five.
11:39
Speaker 3: I've been working in the corporate world for three and
11:41
Speaker 3: a half years, and I have a work from home job.
11:44
Speaker 3: I can travel a bunch on my own because of
11:48
Speaker 3: my time off. I get paid a good amount. I
11:51
Speaker 3: live in a cool city, and I am building a
11:55
Speaker 3: good community here. But in the back of my mind,
11:58
Speaker 3: I all, I'm like, you know, go off for a
12:03
Speaker 3: year and try something new, and I don't know if
12:08
Speaker 3: that voice will ever go away. But I've studied abroad before,
12:13
Speaker 3: I've taken risks, and I always am missing home and
12:19
Speaker 3: what I left. So I'm not sure if this voice
12:23
Speaker 3: is super valid and if I should honor it and
12:26
Speaker 3: go on an adventure for a year and try and
12:29
Speaker 3: see what I'm made of in this world, or if
12:31
Speaker 3: I need to continue to learn to love where I'm
12:35
Speaker 3: at in life and continue to foster that year.
12:39
Speaker 1: Thanks Alexis, Okay, this is such a good question, and
12:42
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you specifically raised that episode, because I
12:45
Speaker 1: actually had quite a few questions about that episode because
12:48
Speaker 1: people were being like, I'm a little bit conflicted with
12:51
Speaker 1: this episode because you're all about preaching take a leap
12:56
Speaker 1: of faith, go and do that thing action, that thing
12:58
Speaker 1: you regret, the things you don't do, and then you
13:00
Speaker 1: come up with this episode that's how to fuck up
13:02
Speaker 1: a good thing by chasing something that doesn't exist. So
13:05
Speaker 1: very thrill that you brought this up, because I do
13:07
Speaker 1: want to clarify the difference between the two. Okay, One
13:11
Speaker 1: of the things number one is we need to get
13:15
Speaker 1: better at listening to ourselves when something genuinely is calling
13:20
Speaker 1: us and it's a genuine interest and it's a passion
13:23
Speaker 1: that we're interested in. No matter what, I think, you
13:27
Speaker 1: should always be asking yourself, is it possible for me
13:30
Speaker 1: to go for this thing, like a year abroad, like studying,
13:33
Speaker 1: like the travel, like taking that job, like taking that risk.
13:37
Speaker 1: Of course, that is always going to be my number
13:39
Speaker 1: one thing that I recommend for people. You know, have
13:42
Speaker 1: the experience, if you have the burning desire, you've got
13:45
Speaker 1: to listen to what you want have the experience. On
13:48
Speaker 1: the flip side of that, we also are very good
13:50
Speaker 1: at it. Well, I don't know if they're very good
13:53
Speaker 1: at it. We can become very good at really listening
13:56
Speaker 1: to ourselves when something isn't right for us. For example,
13:59
Speaker 1: the sun fallacy, when we're sticking something up for longer
14:02
Speaker 1: than we need to because we don't want to admit defeat.
14:05
Speaker 1: Or we got a degree and we hate it, but
14:08
Speaker 1: we don't want to admit that we now just wasted
14:10
Speaker 1: three years studying something to be in a career that
14:12
Speaker 1: we hate and now we've got to start from scratchin
14:14
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. But really understanding when something is
14:17
Speaker 1: not the right fit, it's not making you happy, it
14:19
Speaker 1: doesn't align with who you are. You can see yourself
14:21
Speaker 1: being miserable for the foreseeable future and knowing when to
14:24
Speaker 1: walk away. Okay, all of that, that's all good. When
14:28
Speaker 1: I talk about how to fuck up a good thing
14:31
Speaker 1: by chasing something that doesn't exist, that comes from severe complacency, Okay,
14:39
Speaker 1: So what I mean by that is I'm going to
14:42
Speaker 1: use dating apps as a prime example, but then we
14:45
Speaker 1: can use other scenarios as well. So with a dating app,
14:49
Speaker 1: it's we have this the luxury of choice, right, We
14:52
Speaker 1: have so many choices that then it becomes actually harder
14:58
Speaker 1: to commit to any choice. And the choice that you make,
15:03
Speaker 1: especially in a dating app, sometimes could be the best
15:06
Speaker 1: choice for you, but because you know that there are
15:08
Speaker 1: so many other possibilities and there's so much potential out there,
15:13
Speaker 1: you're not willing to give it, You're all right, So
15:17
Speaker 1: then you start seeing this person. There could be a gem,
15:20
Speaker 1: a fucking gem, right green flags, they care, they're just
15:25
Speaker 1: good vibes you could build. You could really build a
15:28
Speaker 1: life with this person. They could be the love of
15:31
Speaker 1: your life if you both gave it your all and
15:33
Speaker 1: you or they could just be a fucking fling that
15:35
Speaker 1: was nothing, you know, because a lot of relationships come
15:38
Speaker 1: down to the effort that you put into them. Of course,
15:40
Speaker 1: you've got to align on the initial things, but a
15:42
Speaker 1: lot of it also comes down to how much am
15:43
Speaker 1: I giving this? So then you're kind of dating this person.
15:46
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, they're good, yep, they're good, like yep,
15:49
Speaker 1: but you're not giving much of your energy and quality,
15:54
Speaker 1: time and effort. And you've got this other iye being like, oh,
15:57
Speaker 1: I don't want to fully get off the dating apps.
15:59
Speaker 1: There's just so much attention that I'm getting. I'm kind
16:01
Speaker 1: of fing and you get lazy because you're like everything's
16:03
Speaker 1: coming my way. Why do I have to put in
16:05
Speaker 1: the effort when everything's coming my way? And then you
16:07
Speaker 1: end up ruining this thing that you have right and
16:10
Speaker 1: then you end up going into dating someone else, and
16:12
Speaker 1: then later on you're like, wait a minute, I actually
16:16
Speaker 1: really did have the opportunity for a great relationship that actually,
16:19
Speaker 1: in hindsight, that person did treat me really well. That
16:22
Speaker 1: person actually I found the very hot I found that there.
16:25
Speaker 1: And then you start being like, oh, fuck sake, did
16:27
Speaker 1: I just throw that away for what you know? So, ultimately,
16:32
Speaker 1: in a nutshell, there's many nutshells in this episode, So
16:35
Speaker 1: we're cracking up in a lot of fucking nuts including
16:38
Speaker 1: our own heads. But in a nutshell, what it comes
16:42
Speaker 1: down to is have I given this my all? And
16:45
Speaker 1: have I Have I really been able to like without
16:49
Speaker 1: being superficial, but milk what I can get out of
16:51
Speaker 1: this thing? Right, So, when it comes to dating, if
16:54
Speaker 1: you're unsure about dating, in order to not fuck up
16:57
Speaker 1: that thing, my advice is, get off the apps. Pretend
17:01
Speaker 1: that this person is the love of your life. How
17:04
Speaker 1: would you behave if that person was the love of
17:07
Speaker 1: your life? Right? Imagine that the job that you're in
17:10
Speaker 1: right now is the job of your dreams, just for
17:14
Speaker 1: the next month or two months. How would you act
17:17
Speaker 1: if that was the job of your dreams? You would
17:20
Speaker 1: probably dress the part like you put in more effort. Right,
17:25
Speaker 1: you would tidy up your inbox and this, then that,
17:29
Speaker 1: and you'd be fucking organized. You'd be loving it. You'd
17:31
Speaker 1: probably be putting in more effort. When you speak to
17:33
Speaker 1: your superiors, you'd be like, I want to run this
17:36
Speaker 1: new project, I want to do this, I want to try.
17:38
Speaker 1: You proactive, you're like, this is the job for my dreams,
17:42
Speaker 1: and then after a month you will have your answer
17:44
Speaker 1: because you actually gave it your all. There's no chance
17:47
Speaker 1: of fucking up a good thing if it was a
17:48
Speaker 1: good thing that month or two months, depending on the timeframe.
17:51
Speaker 1: It's very specific on what we're talking about, whether it's
17:53
Speaker 1: a relationship or a job or whatever. But that timeframe
17:56
Speaker 1: that you established has given you a really good insight
17:59
Speaker 1: in determining. Now I know I can walk away because
18:04
Speaker 1: I acted like this was the be all, end all
18:06
Speaker 1: and I am not fulfilled. Right or after that month
18:10
Speaker 1: or two months, you could be like, this is fucking unbelievable.
18:15
Speaker 1: I never knew that I could like my life so much.
18:17
Speaker 1: All that required was me acting as if it was
18:19
Speaker 1: my dream life, and then it became my dream life
18:22
Speaker 1: because I realized I actually did have everything that I
18:24
Speaker 1: needed and it was right in front of me. And
18:26
Speaker 1: instead of always looking at potentially other jobs are always
18:29
Speaker 1: like focusing on the negative and this and that I
18:31
Speaker 1: actually had it right in front of me and I
18:32
Speaker 1: am living the dream right, So we always I always
18:36
Speaker 1: want you to look at it like that, have I
18:38
Speaker 1: given this my all? Have I really acted like this
18:41
Speaker 1: is the dream scenario for me? And if the answer
18:43
Speaker 1: is yes, if you gave that person a good two
18:46
Speaker 1: months acting like they're the loves of your life and
18:48
Speaker 1: you're like absolutely not, absolutely FU cannot, then you will.
18:52
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you you will not only be able
18:54
Speaker 1: to walk away comfortably, but you will never look back
18:58
Speaker 1: and say did I fuck up a bad thing? Because
19:00
Speaker 1: you'll be able to be like, remember those two months
19:02
Speaker 1: where I gave it my all and I didn't feel
19:05
Speaker 1: it right? Now, let's address your situation. Number one. You
19:09
Speaker 1: can acknowledge that everything in your life is really good
19:13
Speaker 1: when it comes to so, I don't know how you're
19:16
Speaker 1: living your day to day life. Are you acting like
19:19
Speaker 1: this is the dream life that I'm living? Because I
19:20
Speaker 1: would I would recommend that for you as well, Like,
19:23
Speaker 1: how could I romanticize my life right now. How can
19:26
Speaker 1: I romanticize my job, my morning routine, the people I
19:29
Speaker 1: hang out with. How can we really turn this into
19:31
Speaker 1: like those lives that I see that I'm inspired by
19:34
Speaker 1: that could be mine? How what could I do with
19:37
Speaker 1: the life out right now, just for the next couple
19:39
Speaker 1: of months and see how it impacts my happiness. But
19:42
Speaker 1: having said that, if it's a trip, you know, a
19:48
Speaker 1: time frame thing, I would still recommend you going the
19:51
Speaker 1: time frame thing, like if we're talking for example. For example,
19:54
Speaker 1: for example, I personally love my life in Australia. I
19:58
Speaker 1: don't ever really see myself living permanently anywhere else than
20:02
Speaker 1: where I live right now because of the primarily the
20:05
Speaker 1: people that live in close proximity to me. I've got
20:08
Speaker 1: such a great network. I genuinely love the city that
20:11
Speaker 1: I live and I love I love There's so much
20:12
Speaker 1: that I love, and I love my job. I love, love, love,
20:14
Speaker 1: love love. However, I also know that I really want
20:19
Speaker 1: to do multiple in my lifetime stints of like six
20:22
Speaker 1: three to six months living in Spain, So that doesn't
20:25
Speaker 1: take away from the fact that I love my life.
20:29
Speaker 1: I don't think with you if you're like, I really
20:31
Speaker 1: want to do this overseas thing. I think you should
20:33
Speaker 1: still do it because it's not taking away from the
20:36
Speaker 1: love you have for your life. It's kind of like
20:38
Speaker 1: a temporary experience that it's going to you're going to
20:42
Speaker 1: gain so much from. So when it's I think you
20:46
Speaker 1: would be doing the right thing. If you're like, Okay,
20:48
Speaker 1: I've been strategic about this, I've saved, I'm not fucking
20:52
Speaker 1: up a career or anything like this, but I just
20:54
Speaker 1: want to do that trip again. I would still recommend
20:56
Speaker 1: you do it and use this mindset to actually enjoy
21:00
Speaker 1: yourself when you're there, so that way you're not missing
21:03
Speaker 1: home so much. Because, like I said in that episode
21:06
Speaker 1: about how to fuck up a good thing and error,
21:08
Speaker 1: I mentioned that with a lot of people, once they're
21:12
Speaker 1: already away, they start to think, oh, now I miss home.
21:16
Speaker 1: Why am I missing home? When I dreamt of this
21:17
Speaker 1: trip for so long, when I dreamt of this thing.
21:19
Speaker 1: And then once you book that ticket and you're ready
21:21
Speaker 1: to come home, it's that final few weeks before that
21:24
Speaker 1: flight home that you actually really start enjoying it because
21:27
Speaker 1: you're not umming and ring and whatever. You actually finally relax,
21:30
Speaker 1: you let go off the reins and you're really more
21:32
Speaker 1: present and that's when people enjoy it. So I think
21:35
Speaker 1: that my advice to you is, yes, you want to
21:38
Speaker 1: still act like this is the city and the life
21:40
Speaker 1: of few dreams, and see how that rolls out, because
21:42
Speaker 1: you might be like, wow, obsessed, I actually don't want
21:45
Speaker 1: to go over seas. But there's a big chance that
21:46
Speaker 1: because you've just someone that enjoys to travel and wants
21:49
Speaker 1: to have these experiences, that you still want to go.
21:51
Speaker 1: Go Okay, but pick a timeframe and when you're there,
21:54
Speaker 1: use that same tactic being there because for short term
21:57
Speaker 1: things like one year, six months abroad, whatever, I think
22:01
Speaker 1: you should still act on those things because they are
22:03
Speaker 1: experiences that add to your life. You shouldn't have like, oh,
22:06
Speaker 1: just because I like this life, now every day has
22:08
Speaker 1: to be exactly the same. Now every year has to
22:10
Speaker 1: look exactly the same. Not at all. Life is very colorful,
22:13
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have many seasons and many many different
22:16
Speaker 1: experiences and many twists and turns. And what works for
22:19
Speaker 1: you this year is you're eventually going to get over it. Okay,
22:22
Speaker 1: So you always have to be checking in. It's not
22:23
Speaker 1: saying okay, well now that I've decided that this is
22:25
Speaker 1: the life of my dreams. I could never changed my mind. No,
22:27
Speaker 1: it's a life of my dreams for now. It's the
22:29
Speaker 1: career of my dreams for now. In two years time,
22:31
Speaker 1: I'm going to learn things that I didn't know now
22:33
Speaker 1: that's going to make me potentially change my mind about
22:36
Speaker 1: what else I want in my future. All Right, So
22:40
Speaker 1: it's ever evolving, it's always moving and go on the trip,
22:43
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. But use that mentality of like,
22:46
Speaker 1: once you're on the trip, so you're not missing home
22:48
Speaker 1: thinking oh, I want to be who and then you've
22:50
Speaker 1: got one foot in the door one foot out of
22:51
Speaker 1: the door. It's like, what can I do when I'm
22:52
Speaker 1: here that makes me one hundred percent here? It ultimately
22:55
Speaker 1: comes down to, is when I'm doing the thing, I
22:57
Speaker 1: have to give it my all because if i'm one
22:59
Speaker 1: foot here one there, I'm not enjoying anything. I'm not
23:01
Speaker 1: enjoying what I'm missing and I'm not enjoying what i'm having. Okay,
23:05
Speaker 1: hopefully that helped that great Oh but great questions.
23:12
Speaker 3: Sense.
23:17
Speaker 1: Next one passion project versus over committing.
23:21
Speaker 4: Okay, the title of this post mail is passion Project
23:26
Speaker 4: versus serial over committer. Hey Alexis, thank you so much
23:31
Speaker 4: for your podcast. As everyone says, it is amazing. It
23:33
Speaker 4: has literally changed my life. You are the best. I
23:37
Speaker 4: have a question about passion projects and whether I'm following
23:40
Speaker 4: the right path for me or if I'm just putting
23:42
Speaker 4: way too much on my plate. So for context, I
23:47
Speaker 4: run my own business as a freelance copywriter, which is
23:49
Speaker 4: my day to day I've just recently gone full time
23:52
Speaker 4: into that over the past year, which has kept me
23:53
Speaker 4: really busy. On the side, I'm also writing a children's novel,
23:57
Speaker 4: which is my big creative dream. Like my big lifelong
24:01
Speaker 4: would give anything to do this kind of goal. I've
24:04
Speaker 4: been struggling to stick to a good writing schedule over
24:07
Speaker 4: the past year while I've been building my full time
24:10
Speaker 4: business at the same time. Alongside all of that, I
24:14
Speaker 4: love group fitness classes at my gym, and I've actually
24:17
Speaker 4: been approached by the gym to do instructor training for
24:20
Speaker 4: this particular class.
24:23
Speaker 1: It scares me, but in a good way.
24:25
Speaker 4: I feel at my best when I'm doing these classes.
24:27
Speaker 4: It's not career related. It's purely a hobby, which I
24:29
Speaker 4: don't really have hobbies outside of this. It's a great community,
24:34
Speaker 4: it's really fun. I would love to give it a go.
24:37
Speaker 4: It's a big time commitment, though, and I guess I'm
24:40
Speaker 4: worried that if I'm already struggling to fit in writing
24:43
Speaker 4: my book, which is my big goal, then putting group
24:47
Speaker 4: fitness instructor training on top of that and on top
24:50
Speaker 4: of my business is just going to stress me out
24:52
Speaker 4: and be just way too much. So any tips on
24:56
Speaker 4: how to know whether it's all too much or if
25:00
Speaker 4: something that really does feel right and exciting is the
25:04
Speaker 4: way to go, regardless of how much time I have
25:07
Speaker 4: on my plate. Thank you so much.
25:11
Speaker 1: That's a great question. Love this question. Okay, so my
25:15
Speaker 1: advice would be, you've got to look at milestone goals
25:20
Speaker 1: versus lifestyle goals. I actually think that you should go
25:24
Speaker 1: ahead and do this instructor fitness training because and the
25:28
Speaker 1: reason I say this is because the training phase is
25:31
Speaker 1: what's going to overload your plate. It's what's going to
25:34
Speaker 1: be a big time commitment. It's everything you just said,
25:36
Speaker 1: that's the training phase. But once that training course is done,
25:40
Speaker 1: you are now qualified and you are then teaching, and
25:44
Speaker 1: teaching classes does not eat up that much of your time.
25:47
Speaker 1: I know this because I was a personal trainer, group
25:50
Speaker 1: fitness instructor, and reformer instructor for over ten years, so
25:53
Speaker 1: I know for a fact that the training is time consuming.
25:57
Speaker 1: And then obviously, however many classes you put on your
26:00
Speaker 1: plate is going to determine how busy you are. You
26:02
Speaker 1: can teach two classes a week on the weekend as
26:05
Speaker 1: like this labor of love, or you can teach a
26:08
Speaker 1: full schedule of twenty five plus classes. Okay, that's completely
26:12
Speaker 1: up to you, but I'm getting the vibe that you're
26:14
Speaker 1: not wanting to do this to become a full time
26:17
Speaker 1: group fitness instructor. I think that your aim is to
26:20
Speaker 1: be able to teach some classes on the side because
26:22
Speaker 1: it fills you with joy, You love the idea of
26:25
Speaker 1: doing it. I, babe, fucking feels that's one of the
26:30
Speaker 1: things that I miss the most is teaching group classes
26:33
Speaker 1: because I fucking loved it so much. There are times
26:35
Speaker 1: that I've got friends that own a polity studio, and
26:38
Speaker 1: every once in a blue moon, I'll go and teach
26:39
Speaker 1: a guest class at the studio because it just fills
26:42
Speaker 1: me with so much joy and I get to see like
26:43
Speaker 1: a lot of my old old clients that used to
26:47
Speaker 1: come to my classes back in the day. So my
26:50
Speaker 1: advice to you is, if you're like this, just it's
26:53
Speaker 1: a fire that I can't put out, I love doing it,
26:57
Speaker 1: then this then what I would do is I would
27:00
Speaker 1: actually put the children's book temporarily. Temporarily, I would bring
27:10
Speaker 1: it down a notch in how much time and effort
27:12
Speaker 1: I'm going to put into the children's book because and
27:15
Speaker 1: the reason I say this is you can have it all,
27:19
Speaker 1: but it's just about timing when those things come to fruition.
27:23
Speaker 1: So when I was approached to write my first book,
27:25
Speaker 1: be Bold, I was on the cusp of about to
27:29
Speaker 1: finish my degree that year. I had my sight set
27:33
Speaker 1: on finishing my masters. Everything was planned, I was visualizing it.
27:37
Speaker 1: It was on my vision board. It was all fucking
27:39
Speaker 1: ready to go. And I knew that I had to
27:41
Speaker 1: do four subjects in the final semester. It was all
27:44
Speaker 1: fucking happening. It was a lot, but I was pumped
27:47
Speaker 1: and I mentally set myself up for it. I was
27:51
Speaker 1: already doing the subjects. The semester had just started, the
27:56
Speaker 1: second semester of that year, and then I get approached
27:58
Speaker 1: to write this book and I was also very excited
28:01
Speaker 1: to finish UNI for many things, because I thought, if
28:02
Speaker 1: I can finish UNI now, it's going to free up
28:04
Speaker 1: a lot of things. I can then go full time
28:06
Speaker 1: with the podcast because I'll be able to be doing
28:07
Speaker 1: two episodes a week. And there was a lot of
28:09
Speaker 1: things that were hinging on me finishing this degree in
28:12
Speaker 1: this timeframe. But then an opportunity comes up, and sometimes
28:16
Speaker 1: opportunities are too good to pass up, and you think,
28:19
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe I can reshuffle, Maybe I can
28:22
Speaker 1: push a timeline out a little bit in order to
28:25
Speaker 1: accommodate something that would really mean something to me and
28:28
Speaker 1: be really fulfilling. It doesn't. It's all well and good
28:30
Speaker 1: to have a one year plan a five year plan,
28:32
Speaker 1: but you also need a little bit of flexibility because
28:34
Speaker 1: life is not completely in your control. And that comes
28:38
Speaker 1: with good things too, because I talk about it a
28:40
Speaker 1: lot with bad things, but it comes with really good
28:42
Speaker 1: things as well that happened in your life that we
28:44
Speaker 1: have to be open to allowing in and just reshuffling
28:47
Speaker 1: a few things to make it happen. So, of course
28:50
Speaker 1: what I did was say yes to the book, obviously,
28:53
Speaker 1: because I had another thing on my vision but was
28:55
Speaker 1: eventually write a book. But then I thought, now this
28:58
Speaker 1: pushes everything else out. But what an opportunity, what a gift,
29:06
Speaker 1: This is amazing, So I dropped two. I mean, I
29:09
Speaker 1: was also fortunate that when this offer came through to me,
29:12
Speaker 1: it was before the census date where you can drop
29:15
Speaker 1: the subjects without a penalty. So I dropped two out
29:18
Speaker 1: of the subjects. It meant that I wasn't going to
29:20
Speaker 1: graduate for another year or at least another semester, and
29:25
Speaker 1: then the graduation wouldn't be another semester after that. Whatever
29:27
Speaker 1: it was, but it really pushed the time frame out,
29:30
Speaker 1: and I was imagining myself like coming into the end
29:32
Speaker 1: of the year Sydney summer not having like having that
29:36
Speaker 1: feeling of completing a huge task that you said at
29:40
Speaker 1: that wasn't going to happen. And I was okay with
29:44
Speaker 1: that because I'm like, pick pick your poison, you know,
29:48
Speaker 1: because the alternative would be saying no to the book,
29:52
Speaker 1: or worse, saying yes to the book, doing all the
29:55
Speaker 1: subjects and probably failing one of the subjects or delivering
29:58
Speaker 1: a really shitty book and then never being approach to
30:00
Speaker 1: write a book ever again. So what's it going to be.
30:03
Speaker 1: So what I think you should do is if you
30:05
Speaker 1: think that this is a timely thing, that this is
30:07
Speaker 1: the right time for you to do this fitness course,
30:10
Speaker 1: that it's going to be really you know they want
30:12
Speaker 1: you to do it now, you're working with those people.
30:14
Speaker 3: Now.
30:14
Speaker 1: You don't want to wait ten fucking three years in
30:17
Speaker 1: order to do it. This is probably the right time.
30:20
Speaker 1: So I would put do the course. It's not going
30:22
Speaker 1: to take you an eternity. Do the course. And with
30:25
Speaker 1: the children's book, I would still have it there, but
30:28
Speaker 1: maybe have something like maybe three times a week you
30:31
Speaker 1: sit down just for thirty minutes, three times a week.
30:35
Speaker 1: That's it. That's an hour and a half in a week.
30:37
Speaker 1: You can do it right, an hour and a half
30:39
Speaker 1: in a week, three thirty minute blocks, sit down and
30:43
Speaker 1: just do a brainstorm, just words on paper, words on paper,
30:46
Speaker 1: words on paper. You'll be amazed at how much you
30:47
Speaker 1: get done because you don't have pressure. Don't have like
30:50
Speaker 1: I've got to finish this book by this date. That
30:51
Speaker 1: date is gone until you start doing your fitness training.
30:54
Speaker 1: Don't have an end date for the children's book. Just
30:56
Speaker 1: say I want to contribute to that book. Thirty minutes,
31:01
Speaker 1: three times a week. Whatever. Right, You're going to still
31:05
Speaker 1: be able to work on the children's book, but at
31:07
Speaker 1: a much more comfortable pace. You're gonna be able to
31:11
Speaker 1: do this fitness instructing course. You're gonna be able to
31:13
Speaker 1: start teaching, and you can choose. You can pick and
31:16
Speaker 1: choose the classes that you want to teach. You can
31:17
Speaker 1: just do a handful because obviously you have a full
31:19
Speaker 1: time job, so you're not gonna be doing this full time.
31:21
Speaker 1: You're gonna love your life. You're gonna have this writing,
31:24
Speaker 1: but you're gonna have that connection with people in a class.
31:27
Speaker 1: This is what I would do. Fucking the children's book
31:30
Speaker 1: goes down or not temporarily, you still give it love,
31:33
Speaker 1: but you're not giving yourself pressure because you've removed a
31:35
Speaker 1: time frame of when it has to be done. You're
31:36
Speaker 1: gonna do this course that time frame, and the pressure
31:39
Speaker 1: of that course is temporary because the course is not
31:40
Speaker 1: gonna last for the whole life. It's temporary. Once the
31:43
Speaker 1: course is done, then you pick some classes that you
31:45
Speaker 1: want to start teaching, and then you resurrect bring that
31:48
Speaker 1: children's book back up to the forefront. Okay, you can
31:52
Speaker 1: have it all. You just have to shuffle the timing
31:54
Speaker 1: around a little bit with things in your life. Okay,
31:56
Speaker 1: love that all right, final coursetion. Hey Alexis love the pod.
32:07
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for all you have done. You've
32:09
Speaker 5: truly helped evolve my life into like daily, I am
32:14
Speaker 5: a better person, So thank you so much for that.
32:17
Speaker 5: With that being said, all of the tools that you
32:21
Speaker 5: have given me, I've read both your books, I listen
32:24
Speaker 5: to your pod all the time, and I've you know,
32:27
Speaker 5: I do stuff for my future self self all the time.
32:30
Speaker 5: I contradict my negative self talk. I perform exercises, I
32:34
Speaker 5: step outside, I do the deep breathing. I do all
32:37
Speaker 5: this stuff to help regulate my nervous system and it's
32:40
Speaker 5: really gotten me to an amazing place. The last few
32:44
Speaker 5: months have been very, very stressful, and I haven't had
32:49
Speaker 5: much time for self care, but I've been fitting it
32:53
Speaker 5: in where I can. This last week, granted a PMS
32:58
Speaker 5: is involved in this, but I have just wanted to
33:01
Speaker 5: throw a tantrum like a toddler, like I have. Life
33:04
Speaker 5: has been overwhelming. I have all these amazing tools that
33:08
Speaker 5: I can implement in my life, and I'm like, I
33:11
Speaker 5: just don't want to, and I'm like I don't get
33:14
Speaker 5: this way very often, but I'm here right now, and
33:17
Speaker 5: I'm curious what is happening in the brain when you
33:21
Speaker 5: have all these tools, but you're just like me and
33:26
Speaker 5: you kind of act like a toddler, even though I'm
33:28
Speaker 5: a thirty one year old woman that is capable of
33:32
Speaker 5: regulating my emotions.
33:34
Speaker 1: That's such a good question because I feel like a
33:36
Speaker 1: lot of us go through patches like that. So what's
33:39
Speaker 1: happening is it's you're overwhelmed. It's like close to like
33:43
Speaker 1: a maybe not a full burnout, but it's kind of
33:46
Speaker 1: that idea of like you've got too much going on
33:48
Speaker 1: on your plate. And because for you, this self care,
33:52
Speaker 1: self love, self development journey has been a conscious one.
33:55
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is like you've had
33:56
Speaker 1: to actually consciously put in the work to do this.
33:59
Speaker 1: You're for you. The journey wasn't I'm born this way,
34:01
Speaker 1: I've got all these things. I've been taught to think
34:03
Speaker 1: this way and feel this way, and now, oh I
34:05
Speaker 1: feel amazing all the time. Some people everyone starts on
34:08
Speaker 1: a different playing field. Okay, so for you, you've had to
34:10
Speaker 1: consciously bring these thoughts into practice. So while it's good
34:15
Speaker 1: for you. It's not yet a subconscious process, so you
34:19
Speaker 1: can still identify where you benefit from these behaviors and actions,
34:23
Speaker 1: but it's still efforts, okay, which is fine, you will
34:27
Speaker 1: get there. It just repetition is key. But that on
34:32
Speaker 1: top of the fact that you mentioned you had a
34:33
Speaker 1: really stressful time recently, so you've now added a stressor
34:37
Speaker 1: on top of that, or life I should say, has
34:41
Speaker 1: added a stressor on top of that. So now we're
34:43
Speaker 1: battling between external stresses that are happening that you have
34:47
Speaker 1: to deal with, plus the fact that you now have
34:49
Speaker 1: to put in all this conscious effort into this self love,
34:53
Speaker 1: self development feeling good. So now you're overwhelmed because you're like,
34:57
Speaker 1: this is just too much. I'm exert myself too much,
35:00
Speaker 1: and right now I just feel like, why can't I
35:05
Speaker 1: just be Why can't I just fucking relax and chill.
35:07
Speaker 1: It's just it's too much on my plate and it
35:10
Speaker 1: is right, So I think, I mean, I'm a huge
35:16
Speaker 1: advocate for having like nothing days, okay, I think it's
35:20
Speaker 1: really important to have moments of reset, especially when you're
35:24
Speaker 1: going through like overwhelm like this or burn out even
35:29
Speaker 1: that allows you to reset on everything. Right for today.
35:35
Speaker 1: I'm not going to actively force myself to meditate. If
35:37
Speaker 1: I don't feel like meditating, I don't have to do
35:39
Speaker 1: all these things. I don't have to. I'm just going
35:42
Speaker 1: to rest. I'm also not going to do detrimental behaviors,
35:46
Speaker 1: Like I'm not gonna then rest and then doom scroll
35:48
Speaker 1: all day long. I can doom scroll for thirty minutes
35:51
Speaker 1: or whatever, but like, I need to just be a
35:53
Speaker 1: bit strategic. But I need a very very very very
35:57
Speaker 1: low stimulation day or low stimulation after afternoon or morning
36:01
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. If you can't dedicate a full
36:03
Speaker 1: day to that, sometimes just you know, zooming out deep
36:09
Speaker 1: rest is kind of what we need to recalibrate. Okay,
36:13
Speaker 1: sometimes we overwhelm ourselves by doing too much of this
36:17
Speaker 1: self help all the time, all the time, all the time,
36:20
Speaker 1: all the time. A lot of people ask me, like,
36:22
Speaker 1: what self help podcast do you listen to? Not many?
36:25
Speaker 1: Not many, Because my job is in self help. Of
36:28
Speaker 1: course I read self development books. Of course I do
36:31
Speaker 1: all of that. But if I was to spend my
36:34
Speaker 1: whole life work and on the side, you know, like
36:39
Speaker 1: leisure time, all on self development, I'd lose my fucking
36:43
Speaker 1: mind because it's too Then you're too analytical. To analytical,
36:47
Speaker 1: it's too much, it's too much. You've got to allow
36:48
Speaker 1: time to also just be. How often are you just
36:51
Speaker 1: being where you're not dealing with external stresses and when
36:54
Speaker 1: you're not thinking I have to develop myself. I have
36:55
Speaker 1: to develop myself. I'm developing myself. When is the time
36:59
Speaker 1: for you to just fucking chill? So if you can
37:02
Speaker 1: look at that and being like I am doing the work.
37:04
Speaker 1: I am doing the work, but I'm also not giving
37:05
Speaker 1: myself time to let it sink and just be, then
37:08
Speaker 1: that's what you need to be doing. We need to
37:10
Speaker 1: create more pockets of just nothingness and chilling. Okay, be
37:14
Speaker 1: intentional with that nothingness so you don't feel like you've
37:17
Speaker 1: wasted time. It's different to coming home. It so like, yeah,
37:19
Speaker 1: but I did come home yesterday and I sat on
37:20
Speaker 1: the couch and I fested on the couch and I
37:22
Speaker 1: dom scroll and I fested and I felt like shit.
37:24
Speaker 1: But that wasn't intentional. It's not like you're saying, from
37:27
Speaker 1: four pm onwards, I'm going to schedule out an afternoon
37:30
Speaker 1: of not fucking much, and I'm going to be intentional
37:33
Speaker 1: about it. I'm going to maybe like pick up some
37:35
Speaker 1: food or make something really easy, put on my favorite movie,
37:39
Speaker 1: just little things like that. You'll be amazed at how
37:42
Speaker 1: much just being starts to feel good because you've done
37:45
Speaker 1: the groundwork. You're doing the groundwork. Now you've got to
37:48
Speaker 1: reap the rewards, because if you never get to actually
37:51
Speaker 1: sit and chill and be, how are you ever going
37:53
Speaker 1: to reap the rewards of all the hard work you've
37:55
Speaker 1: done on this self development and self care and self love.
37:58
Speaker 1: Have a scheduled pajama day, my sister says, you know,
38:01
Speaker 1: have those moments where you are just regrouping, and then
38:07
Speaker 1: you're able to tackle the external stresses in your life
38:09
Speaker 1: a lot better, and then you're able to revisit your
38:11
Speaker 1: self development work with a much fresher mind and a
38:14
Speaker 1: much more engaged approach as well. So hopefully that helps,
38:17
Speaker 1: because I think so many people feel you and it's
38:20
Speaker 1: going on a self development journey. Is requires a lot
38:24
Speaker 1: of effort, especially in the first few months or year.
38:27
Speaker 1: So yeah, amazing, but good work, and yeah, just keep
38:31
Speaker 1: it up, even if you need to like tape it
38:33
Speaker 1: down a little bit with a few exercises and do
38:35
Speaker 1: more of some other things. You will fucking get there.
38:39
Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everyone that's sent in the
38:41
Speaker 1: voice messages. I love them and I will fucking speak
38:46
Speaker 1: to you here on this couch next week. That is all,
38:50
Speaker 1: and as always remembered, be kind to yourself, be kind
38:52
Speaker 1: to your brain, don't text it from anyone, and especially
38:55
Speaker 1: don't text shit from yourself. Don't care