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How do narcissists handle rejection? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how do narcissists handle
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  rejection? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So boom. Welcome back, folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yeah, I know.
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  As soon as y'all saw me say handle rejection, y'all might
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  have turned the video off if you didn't.
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  Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for beg.
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  Thank you for battling with me through this right here.
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  Because I know y'all know I got, y'all know I got some heat to
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  drop. Y'all know I'm not going to come
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  over here if I ain't got no fire to spit, no heat to drop, no
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  bombs to just no bombs to go off right now.
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  So this is the, this is the perspective you're going to get.
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  You're going to get this perspective right here, right?
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  You're going to get it. You're going to get it because
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  that's what you're going to get. What I got to offer, that's what
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  I got to offer right here, this perspective.
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  But yeah, narcissistic people don't handle rejection at all.
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  They don't handle rejection well at all.
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  I have yet to meet a narcissist that handles rejection just an
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  amazing way. Willie, what about you?
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  You're diagnosed nurses. You've been working on yourself.
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  How do you handle rejection right now?
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  I personally try to avoid rejection at all costs.
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  I it, it, it, it, it, it That's one of the things that could be
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  holding me back from like reaching my full potential
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  because you have to have some you.
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  You're going to get rejected in life, not just from, you know,
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  people you trying to be the significant others or whatever,
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  but like hearing the word no, just in general I don't like.
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  So I try to avoid situation where people can tell me no.
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  And it's it's stupid when you try to be successful.
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  But I've I've stepped outside the comfort zone a lot of times,
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  which has helped me become more successful in life overall,
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  right. But I handle it better now than
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  I used to, but I still try to avoid it.
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  And that's what most nurses are going to do.
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  Like I think most nurses are trying to put themselves in
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  positions where they necessarily where they can't necessarily get
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  rejected, where they can't, where they are not in the space
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  to be able to get rejected or and whatnot.
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  So they cause rejection. They can't handle y'all
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  rejection. They handle rejection horribly.
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  We handle rejection horribly because rejection, being
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  rejected, being told no in any situation, not just an intimate
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  partnership or it just trying to get some intimacy.
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  You try to clap some cheeks, No, you can't have these cheeks.
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  That hurts. Being rejected makes us feel
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  like bad people. Being rejected makes me feel
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  like a bad person. It's just one of those things
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  that is like a damn near can't shake it right?
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  Because being rejected makes me feel so bad about myself in
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  general that I can't shake it at all.
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  And it sucks because it's like I must not be good enough.
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  I saw a question to myself. I'm not.
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  It's like the the narcissistic voice in my head takes over.
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  It's like you're not good enough.
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  You knew that they would say no, you're ugly, you're out of
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  shape. You're you're, you're too short.
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  You're they don't like your hair or your teeth are messed up.
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  Your ears are too flappy. You got Dumbo ears.
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  Your tongue is too. Your tongue is like a serpent,
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  right? Your laugh is ugly.
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  It's your neck. You got old thick neck.
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  Your back is big or your back is small, yet your feet are too
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  little for your body size. You you're 6 three with a size 6
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  shoe. You look weird.
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  You like you're about to tip over.
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  This is this is stuff that's going inside of my head.
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  This is not what people are said to be.
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  This is my what my mind is saying in the mind of a
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  narcissist attacks the narcissist.
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  Once they get rejected, once they get told no, it attacks the
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  narcissist. It makes them feel shy shame,
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  but we feel so much shame when we get rejected, regardless of
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  what it, regardless of what the rejection is based on,
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  regardless of whatever it's based on, we still are going to
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  feel shame about it, right? Because it sucks.
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  That's one of the things that sucks big time because we feel
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  so bad about getting rejected that we feel it makes us feel
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  like horrible, horrible people just overall and in general.
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  We feel like damn near just the bane of existence, right, which
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  is why a lot of times they retreat within themselves.
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  Narcissists, they get rejected will, will, will retreat within
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  themselves. But also there's a narcissist
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  that get rejected that doesn't retreat within themselves.
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  There's a there's a type of narcissist that gets rejected
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  and lets you feel it. They let you feel it, like the
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  type of narcissist that gets rejected.
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  They let you have it. They get angry because they feel
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  the shame. The shame is still the same,
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  right? The narcissist that retreats
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  within themselves and get and become silent, dismissive and
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  avoid it. They write those right there.
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  They feel the same shame that the narcissist that explodes on
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  you does. Like there's like if you ever
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  rejected a narcissist, right, Let's say you're a narcissistic
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  person. Was cat calling you?
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  Whoa, look at them cheeks. Let me get some cheeks on you.
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  Like stop looking at my cheeks, you asshole, and they'll be
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  like, well, you ugly anyway, you know what I'm saying?
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  I ain't wanting. I just wanted to hit it.
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  You ugly anyway, you worthless, you piece of ass just walking
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  you a bum, you ball headed your ball head.
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  Scallywag ain't got no hair in the back.
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  They'll do stuff like that, that they start to attack you because
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  they feel attacked. You know what I'm saying?
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  They start because now, because I'm feeling so much shame and I
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  don't know what to do with it instead of just taking it and
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  just, you know, somebody told me no.
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  Oh, damn. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll get them
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  next time or shucks, I'll get them next time.
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  Shucks. No, it's oh hell no, I ain't
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  gonna be no next time. I'm attacking you right now.
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  You attacked me. You hurt my feelings.
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  Now I have to attack you and hurt your feelings.
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  Now I have to make you feel worthless.
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  Now I have to make you feel less than because you made me feel
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  less than. Now it's now a time that I
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  repaid the favor. So there's a lot of narcissists
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  out here. They are just feel like they're
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  just repair, repaying the favor on you for making it, for
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  hurting their feelings. That's what they go through.
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  This is what they experience this and This is why they attack
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  you. A lot of narcissists, they will
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  attack you on the spot. Like I said, it doesn't have to
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  be an intimate relationship. It could be this can be your
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  child, this can be your parent. You tell them no, they explode
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  on you because how dare you tell me no.
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  You made me feel like a bad person.
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  You made me feel less than. You took another reason like
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  telling me no, rejecting me. It's pretty much you telling me
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  what to do. And there is no probably on
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  nobody on earth who should be able to tell me what to do
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  because I'm me. I'm so entitled that nobody on
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  this planet should tell me what should be able to tell me no or
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  what I can and cannot do. Hell no.
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  It is absolutely not worth it. Absolutely does not work that
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  way. So they attack you.
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  You could be their boss, you. Something that this the
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  narcissist boss could tell them no makes them feel rejected,
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  makes them feel less than. They attack the boss.
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  They don't care about getting fired.
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  They'll sue, they'll do all this other stuff.
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  They want to hurt you. The the fact that you hurt them,
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  you hurt me. I have to hurt you.
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  Vengeance is mine. They seek vengeance on you for
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  making them feel bad about themselves.
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  And I know that sucks. I know this is hard to hard pill
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  to swallow for some people, but it's absolutely true.
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  You hurt my feelings. Now I have to find a way to hurt
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  yours. I have to find a way to make you
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  feel some of the pain that you made me feel.
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  I have to do this. This has to be done.
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  This has to happen, right? And so many people experienced
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  this with you dealing with an abuser.
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  They like say you can already be with the person.
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  Yeah, you can already be with them and rejecting them.
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  Hey, you want to get freaky tonight after they look they get
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  they could have been treating you horrible the whole time and
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  all of a sudden you want to get freaky tonight and you'd be
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  like, no, I'm not in the mood. You all you, you never in the
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  mood. You whore.
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  Who you giving it up to? You a whorey man with your dirty
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  ass butt in the way, you stinking ass.
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  My pee pee pee. They'll go off on you for
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  telling them no in the bedroom or not, refusing to do something
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  for them, refusing to do something with them them.
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  They'll tell you no in those circumstances as well.
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  There's no different right there, y'all?
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  There's absolutely no different right there in that situation.
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  They'll tell you no, you tell them no, why?
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  You're already together. You can reject them while you're
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  together. It's not when you're not apart
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  when you apart. You reject them when you're
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  together and they still get mad as hell.
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  They'll still retreat within themselves.
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  They'll still give you the silent treatment.
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  Not all of them will scream and yell now.
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  All of them will take you to account and just throw it back
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  in your face. Some of them will just do the
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  silent treatment and become dismissive and Stonewall you.
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  Right? That's the response to that.
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  To me, stonewalling, I call stonewalling in the silent
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  treatment. I call those, what I call them,
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  I call stonewalling in the silent treatment.
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  I call those quiet. Those are quiet rage.
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  This quiet rage right there. That's quiet, narcissistic rage
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  right there. That's them be that's them
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  getting very quiet with you in these spaces.
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  This them very, this them very getting very quiet with you and
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  just they so angry that they get quiet.
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  That's what happens too. They get so pissed off, so
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  furious, so infuriated with you that they just get quiet on you.
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  They don't say anything else to you.
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  They just zip. They zip it up.
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  They don't have to say anything else to you.
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  They're so quiet and so pissed off at you right now.
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  They just shut down this silent rage.
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  The silent treatment to me is silent.
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  What? I call it silent rage, right?
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  And there's also the narcissist that when you reject them,
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  rejection breeds push, pause, put the answer to the comment
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  section. Rejection breeds Shout out to
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  Tony Robbins. Rejection breeds obsession with
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  narcissist. So there are a lot of
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  narcissists that you can reject that they can get mad at you,
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  they can yell, scream, whatever, but some of them won't get mad
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  at you. They won't, they won't get mad
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  at you. They won't retreat within
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  themselves. What they'll do is become
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  obsessed with you. Like some people when you tell
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  them no, you tell them, you tell them you're not interested, they
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  become very, very stalker like. They'll start to stalk you.
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  They'll start to harass you. They'll start to do stuff like
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  that, do things like that in order to mess with you and then
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  try to get into your head. That's what they do.
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  They'll start to stalk you, harass you online, follow you
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  everywhere, pop up in different places.
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  Rejection breeds obsession. They can become obsessed with
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  you like you. They become obsessed with the
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  fact that you told them no, or you let them down.
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  You could be as kind as you want to be.
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  You could be as nice as you want to be.
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  You can let them down kindly, nicely with it, however you want
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  to do it, and they can still lose their damn minds and just
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  go off on you sometimes, y'all, and this is what you got to
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  understand with me dealing with some abuse of people.
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  There's no winning with them. There's no negotiating with
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  them. They don't want to hear it,
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  right? You can't win with them.
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  You can't negotiate with them because at the end of the day,
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  they don't want to hear it. They don't want to hear it at
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  all. They don't want anything that
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  you have to say to them because it doesn't benefit them in any
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  way, shape or form. And So what they do is they get
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  very, very obsessive with you. They'll follow you.
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  They'll stalk you. They want to try to change your
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  mind, right? Some of them will try to change
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  your mind. We want to try to want to try
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  their hardest to change your mind.
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  But whatever thing or whatever is going on, that's what a lot
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  of abusers will do. They want to try their damn
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  hardest to figure out why the hell you rejected me.
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  They'll try, they'll try to change themselves to y'all.
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  They'll morph into people that are, they'll morph into people
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  that are in your friend group. They'll morph into your ex.
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  They'll do whatever it takes because they feel like they're
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  not enough. They want to now, they want to
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  become enough. Like they'll ask themselves,
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  like, what do I need? Who I who do I need to become to
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  get this person to fall for me? Who I who how do I, how do I
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  change this person's mind? Right.
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  How do I change this person's mind?
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  Which is why sometimes, right. I don't necessarily believe.
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  I don't necessarily believe in giving everybody second chances,
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  right? Like a second, like a second
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  first date, so to speak. Like they have a bad first date.
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  I feel like a lot of times. Yeah.
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  Could you be nervous on the first date?
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  Yeah. But sometimes they show you
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  their true character on the first date and you don't like
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  it. You just don't like them.
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  And you give them a second date and now all of a sudden they're
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  different. Now all of a sudden, now all of
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  a sudden there are different people.
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  I'm gonna do another video on that right there.
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  I got just reminded myself that's a new update video.
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  I have to do like This is why, like a lot of times they do it
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  right here. This is the mindset that they
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  will have right? This is the the space that they
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  fall into like they want to understand why and they'll
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  become whoever they need to become that the second date is
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  so amazing. The first date was I don't want
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  to go on a second date. Then they convince you they
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  come, they become obsessed with you.
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  Sometimes they can convince you to go on a second date.
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  Now a sudden, it's magical. They're magically different.
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  They're now they became whoever they needed to be to get you.
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  They showed you their true selves and now they became
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  whoever they needed to be to get you.
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  So regardless, they said, you know, this, this obsessive
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  stuff. And I know a lot of times, like
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  what what's happening a lot of times today in the the fairy
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  tale Disney World is they people, a lot of people think
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  this is love. Like this is how you're supposed
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  to love. This is supposed to how you're
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  supposed to give affection and care and blah, blah, blah, Boo
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  Boo, Boo. Like this is how it's supposed
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  to look for a lot of people, right?
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  This is not how it's supposed to be, y'all.
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  This is not how it's supposed to go.
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  It really isn't like love is not obsession.
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  Like if a person that you know can't handle rejection, of
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  course, be safe, but please distance yourself away from that
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  person. If you're already with them in a
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  relationship, it's kind of tougher to do it right?
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  You already have kids and stuff like that.
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  And y'all might be little. You might be knee deep in it,
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  you know, but just just in case you knee deep or up to your
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  neck, you still can breathe, right?
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  You still have room to breathe. You still have room to heal.
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  You still have room to grow, y'all.
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  So anyway, y'all, they have reached into the end of the
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  video. Y'all know, I appreciate y'all
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  for tuning in with me again. We're trying to get down to two,
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  maybe 1 longer video a day here eventually, but two longer
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  videos right now, not 3-4. I was doing I was doing way too
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  many longer videos. Plus I have my other channel Lee
• 13:40
  dot Actions where I do reactions over there and what not as well.
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  So I'm doing a, I'm doing one video a day on that Channel,
• 13:44
  just doing reaction videos to whatever is out there, whatever
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  is trending, whatever. Anyway, y'all, thank you for
• 13:50
  tuning in. I appreciate every single one of
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  y'all. Y'all, I'm thankful for you.
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  Hit that subscribe button if you haven't, y'all.
• 13:54
  That's all I want for Christmas. It's all I want for New Year's.
• 13:56
  It's you to the subscribe anyway y'all, this is peace.
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  What's going on? Beautiful folks.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
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  If you haven't already hit that subscribe button.
• 14:10
  You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
• 14:14
  It really does help the channel y'all, y'all.
• 14:15
  It helps me reach more people as well.
• 14:17
  Also, I have coaching my courses and my support group available
• 14:20
  at www.mentalillness.net. Thank you so much.
• 14:24
  Make sure you stick around, watch another video or two.
• 14:26
  I appreciate it. I'm out.