Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Do narcissists ever feel bad when the relationship ends?

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Do narcissists ever feel bad when the relationship ends? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, do
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  narcissists hurt when the relationship ends?
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  Do they? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of B Narcissist Code.
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  So boom, welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back.
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  That's the question of the day, isn't the question of the day,
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  the question of the hour, the question of the year.
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  How do do narcissists hurt or feel bad when the relationship
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  ends? Like how like, how do they feel?
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  Are they any any type of pain? Are they suffering at all?
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  Do they think about you? Do they miss you?
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  The answer here might surprise a few people because I know a lot
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  of people. The first thing that they're
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  going to say is no, this doesn't affect anybody.
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  They don't care. Like narcissists have no hearts.
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  They're, they're just out trying to get some new cheeks.
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  They're trying to do this. They're trying to do that in
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  that space right there. And that happens to so many
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  people, to a lot of people in this situation.
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  But the answer to the question is yes, a lot of narcissists do
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  hurt when the relationship ends. You know it.
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  A lot of narcissists do hurt. They are in pain when the
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  relationship ends. They do miss you.
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  Yes, narcissists are people too. They absolutely, some of them
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  have hurt. I've yeah, I've hurt when
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  relationships have ended, especially if I wasn't the one
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  that ended it. If I'm not the one or if I
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  wasn't the one who ended the relationship, then yes, I was in
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  pain when the relationship ended.
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  I have a heart. It might be a narcissistic
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  heart. It might be a toxic heart
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  sometimes, but I have a heart nonetheless.
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  I'm not like was who, which one of the Wizard of Oz who was
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  missing the heart? Who was it the 10 man who didn't
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  have a heart or was the scarecrow who didn't have a, who
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  somebody didn't have a brain? Well, I'm one of the, was the,
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  I'm one of the, the people of the Wizard of Oz, But I, I'm the
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  one who had a heart. I might not have, I might not
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  have a brain all the time, but I do have a heart.
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  And there are a lot of nurses who will be in pain when and if
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  your relationship ends, especially if you are the one
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  who ended it. If you're the one who ended sad
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  relationship, they themselves will hurt.
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  They themselves will be in some type of pain because it sucks
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  for them. Because of rejection can breed
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  obsession. Y'all hear me say that all the
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  time. Shout out to Tony Robbins for
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  that one. Rejection can breed obsession,
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  but it can also create this deficit within a narcissist's
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  mind to make them feel like they are worthless, right?
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  They just like, OK, I wasn't good enough for a relationship.
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  It can make them feel like a bad person when they are a lot of
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  times, a lot of times they are. They have been bad people, so
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  they deserve the moniker of being a bad person because
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  they've been bad people. You see, they try to escape it
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  because they're in a relationship.
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  If we're together, since we're together, I'm not a bad person,
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  but now we're a part. That means I am a bad person.
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  You see how that works right there in a narcissist's mind.
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  So when you leave them, they hurt because it makes them feel,
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  especially if they're, if they're not ready for you to
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  leave them, if they don't have a new supply set up, man, oh man
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  are servers. They will damn near lose their
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  damn minds because they don't have anybody else right there.
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  They have to go through this alone period, this period of
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  aloneness without. They don't have a new supply.
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  They don't have anybody out here to just take them in and
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  whatnot. So if you break up with them out
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  of no, seemingly out of nowhere, it's not out of nowhere for you.
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  You know it's coming. But to them it might be out of
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  nowhere. Yes, they hurt.
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  They might actually miss you. But what what they miss about
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  you is important. I know people are like, well,
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  they miss me at least I should go back to them.
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  No, the hell you should not, Lee said.
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  They miss me, so I should go back.
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  No, you shouldn't you know what I mean?
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  No, you should not go back because they if they do somehow
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  miss you, miss a little bit of you right.
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  You shouldn't go back to because they miss you because that
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  doesn't mean that they'll treat you better.
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  Just because they miss you or miss something about you does
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  not mean that's not guarantee that they will treat you any
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  better. So I said that part right there.
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  Y'all here Lee said they miss me.
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  Lee also said that they would doesn't mean that they will
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  treat you better if you go back. So don't go back because Lee
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  said they might miss you. Lee said that they're hurting
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  because I left. That don't mean go back because
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  again, it doesn't. Just because they're hurting
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  doesn't mean guaranteed that they're going to treat you
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  better. Could they be better for a short
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  period of time? Yeah, they could treat you good
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  for a short period of time. You know, they could treat you
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  good for a couple of days, couple weeks, you know, a month
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  or two. Then guess what happened.
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  The old toxic narcissistic person that you broke up with
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  rears. They ugly ass head, rear rears
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  their Medusa head, like narcissistic Medusa head.
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  Like when they take the mask off, like Medusa with the snakes
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  come out of their hair. You know, they're snake madres
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  are snakes. They're little snake snakehead
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  on the end of every little narcissistic snakehead on the
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  end of every dread. You know this happens.
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  Just because they miss you doesn't mean they'll treat you
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  any better. And another times, like I said,
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  there another reason that they might be hurting when the
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  relationship ends is because they automatically think that
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  you're going to be with somebody else.
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  They that's where the mind automatically shifts to.
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  They automatically think you left me.
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  So you must be, you must be going to be with somebody else.
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  Like it can't be for any other reason.
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  Like not because I treated you badly, not because I did this,
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  not because I did that. Because you have someone else.
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  That's how I justify like I you must have somebody else.
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  You must be. You must be.
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  I hope you're happy with them. I hope they treat you better.
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  Hope you hope you're happy with the new person.
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  I hope you happy with your new Boo because I wasn't good
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  enough. Sorry I wasn't good enough for
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  you. I hope they treat you better
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  than I ever treated you or or or nobody's ever going to treat you
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  as good as I treated you. I'm the best you're ever going
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  to get and you should've been happy with how I treated you.
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  They be hurting and saying all kinds of craziness and insanity
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  to you. You know, like I said before,
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  just because they're hurting doesn't mean that they will
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  treat you any better. Doesn't guarantee any behavioral
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  alterations. Can they act the right for a
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  little while? Yes, I say any.
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  Yeah, Anybody can be on their best behavior for a little while
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  in order to get you back into a relationship with them.
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  Anybody can, right? Anybody can do that.
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  That's how it works, though. That's the space that it works
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  in. That's the space that it goes
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  into right there. Anybody can act right to get
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  their needs met for a little while to get you back because
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  they'll text you and call you just like I'm hurting.
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  I'm crying. I, I, I never cry.
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  You've never seen me cry before Because.
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  And the only reason I'm crying now is because I miss you.
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  And I miss what we had and I miss what we could be.
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  I miss, miss, I miss, I miss the missing.
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  You know, they don't like, ask yourself like Lisa, they miss
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  me. Ask yourself, what did they miss
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  about you in this situation? What did they miss about you?
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  Did they miss you, the person in all the good times, or did they
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  miss what they could get away with?
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  Do they miss taking advantage of you?
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  Do they miss making you look and feel silly for taking them back?
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  Do they ask yourself what they miss about you?
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  You know, because a lot of times what they miss about you isn't
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  under good pretenses, right? A lot of times what they miss
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  about you is under bad pretense. It's coming from a place of
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  negativity and gain from them. That's what it is right there.
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  Like they miss what they could get from you.
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  They miss what they can achieve from you.
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  They miss that. They miss what they they miss
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  what the relationship represented to them.
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  They don't miss you per SE. They miss what the relationship
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  represented to them, which could be getting over on something,
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  which could be more toxicity, which could be more
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  manipulation, which could be a lot of different things.
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  But they don't miss you, per Southeast.
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  And again, they might be hurting because the relationship ended
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  before they can get new supplies.
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  So they're now they're hurting because they got to look at
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  themselves in the mirror. They don't have a backup plan.
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  They don't have anybody that you know, anybody to back them up or
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  be there for them or to get narcissistic supply from.
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  They might not. Yeah, they might be hurting me.
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  It's not funny. They might be hurting because
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  they might be homeless coming up.
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  You know, they might be getting ready to be homeless and be on
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  the streets because they don't have anywhere else to go.
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  Like you were there saving grace.
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  You were there. You housed them.
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  You protected them. You did this, you did that for
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  them. You know what I mean?
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  You did. You did a lot of this stuff for
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  them and that help and that help can help benefit you in a lot of
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  different ways, a lot of different ways, a lot of
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  different shapes, a lot of different forms.
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  So you are in a position of power right now.
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  Like they're hurting. They'll let you know that
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  they're hurting. I'm crying, I'm throwing up.
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  I've been, I'm. I'm going to hurt myself if you
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  don't take me back, if you don't pick the phone up and talk to
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  me. This is going to be the end for
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  me. And yeah, could they actually go
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  through with that? Yeah, possibly.
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  But that's, again, that's not on you.
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  And then at the end of the day, if they really want to hurt
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  themselves, do you think they're going to leave you here to tell
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  me the tail? No, they're going to try to take
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  you out with them. Just because they're hurting
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  doesn't mean that they will treat you any better.
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  Just because they're hurting doesn't mean that the
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  relationship would get any better.
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  Well, Lisa, I take them back. No, don't take that from this.
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  Lisa, I should take them back. No, lead did not.
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  Lisa, we should make it. No, lead did not.
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  Again, they're hurting because they know they they couldn't.
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  They could know that they missed it.
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  They're missing out on a great person.
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  You could be a great person that they're missing out on, you
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  know, But again, that doesn't guarantee you any type of
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  behavioral changes. They're not going to go to
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  therapy. They might promise it.
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  I'm going to. I'll promise I'll change.
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  I promise I'll go to therapy. I promise I'll take that trip.
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  I'll promise I'll do this. I promise.
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  I just never thought you would leave.
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  I thought you were my ride or die.
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  I thought we was going to ride until we died or until you died
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  and I can move on to somebody else.
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  I thought somebody else could be my ride or die.
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  You ride until you die, but in a narcissistic relationship,
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  you're guaranteed to die emotionally.
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  You're going to have this emotional death.
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  You will ride until you emotionally die with a
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  narcissist or toxic person. And it sucks to say because so
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  many, there's so many good people out there dealing with
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  these toxic, abusive, narcissistic people.
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  And you're just trying to survive.
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  You're trying to thrive. You're trying to just live the
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  life that you want to live. And they don't allow that.
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  They don't allow you to live the life that you want to live.
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  They keep doing this toxic stuff.
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  They keep doing this attack these abusive behaviors.
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  They, they refuse to let you move on and live your life that
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  you want to live. Toxic narcissistic people.
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  Yeah, they could hurt when the relationship ends.
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  No, but they it doesn't mean that they'll take accountability
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  for their role in it. They'll still be trying to blame
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  you. They'll still be trying to, you
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  know, hold you accountable for leaving them.
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  They'll still be trying to hold you accountable for where they
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  are in life. It will still somehow, some way,
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  shape or form be your fault. Missing you and hurting you in a
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  relationship beings does not mean that they will change their
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  behaviors or treat you any better if you give them another
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  chance. And yes, y'all, I'll end it with
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  this. Or there are some narcissists
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  out there who it does, who will not, who don't, who don't hurt
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  when the relationship ends. Yes, there are some nurses who
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  want the relationship at the end.
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  There's some that will force you out the door through their
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  horrible, horrible, toxic behaviors.
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  There's some that will intentionally treat you horribly
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  because it benefits them in some way, shape or form.
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  They don't hurt. They don't miss you.
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  Some of them do, you know? Anyway, y'all, if you haven't
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  already, make sure you subscribe to the channel and you know,
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  join the support group, check out my courses and things of
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  that nature. And as always, y'all, as always,
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  mental illness is out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:15
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
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  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
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  another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 11:26
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.