Latest / Making The Impact - A Dance Competition Podcast / Die Hard Dance Dads!

Transcript

Die Hard Dance Dads! · Making The Impact - A Dance Competition Podcast

0:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Courtney Ortiz, and I'm here, like always, with my co-host, Leslie Miller.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Courtney, I'm here with my co-host, Charlotte the Cat.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: She has been podcasting with me the last few episodes, so I figured she deserves a shout-out too.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I definitely have heard her cute little meow in some of our episodes lately.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: She's always there sitting right on your lap on recording day.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: She is, and she likes to watch the dances on uh on the screen every time I do online critiques.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: So Charlotte sometimes shows up on your online critiques too.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: So don't be alarmed.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: She's only she only wants to help.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: So sweet.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: I love when the the kitties are here with us for recording day.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: Leslie, I am so pumped for this episode.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: We've been wanting to do this one for quite some time.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: And you you came up with this brilliant idea to find the appropriate guests for this podcast.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: So tell everybody a little bit about how we um how we ended up with these diehard dance dads we're about to hear from.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we had this scheduled into our season since the beginning of season four when we brainstormed all of our episodes.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't we weren't quite sure like how we were going to select dance dads for this discussion.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: We know of some great dance dads in our lives that we've heard about through friends that are in studios and who we've dealt with personally.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: But I was like, you know what?
2:16
SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's a way that like people could nominate their favorite dance dads at their studio.
2:23
SPEAKER_01: And we decided to essentially create a nomination portal and a contest for anyone to nominate a dance dad in their life.
2:31
SPEAKER_01: And I can't tell you how awesome that that decision was for me to for us to do that, to be able to find our guest for this episode because the stories and that were coming through about dance dads from people that that weren't just directly connected to them.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: It might have been just another dance parent at the studio.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: It might have been the studio owner nominating the dance dad for this opportunity, or even dancers themselves.
2:58
SPEAKER_01: There was one submission that said, He's my best friend, he's my dad, and I want to nominate him.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: Like, ah, my heart is melting.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Crying as the submissions rolled in, just you and I kept texting each other just in awe of how how all how all of these men are so amazing.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: And so many people fought to nominate people multiple times.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: We got over 50 submissions by the time you know this the submission ended.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: And truly it was it was a very difficult decision to narrow it down.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: And we were so so grateful to everybody who uh contributed and uh and just congratulations to all the nominees.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: Yes, all over 50 of you if you're listening, because you know, it was just a testament to how wonderful you are in your dancers' lives and in your dance studios' lives.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: So I can't wait for everyone to hear the stories of our three dance dads who were our official winners of our uh nomination contest to be uh named the Die Hard Dance Dad and featured on Making the Impact for this episode.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: But before we jump into this week's episode, I want to tell you about our sponsor, and that is Apollo Performance.
4:11
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4:14
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4:17
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4:19
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4:32
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4:38
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4:43
SPEAKER_01: Use the code Impact10 in all caps at checkout to receive 10% off your order at ApolloPerformance.com.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: Dance longer, dance stronger with Apollo Performance.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: And we don't want to forget to give our Making the Impact Award shout out to this week.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: We have some amazing routines that received our Making the Impact awards at recent competitions.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: This award goes to any dance of any size, age, or level at a competition that is awarded for their execution, performance, or choreography as a total package.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: So we would love to recognize these routines that are recent winners.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: From Decca Dance Competition in Middlesex, New Jersey.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Congratulations to Ocean Dance Force.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: From Manasquan, New Jersey for their small group.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: Look what we started.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: From High Demand Dance Competitions event in Hartford, Connecticut.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Congrats to Dance Dimensions LLC from Brookfield, Connecticut for their small group, Living Beyond Limits.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: And from Star Talent Productions in Charleston, West Virginia.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: Congratulations to Kelly Boggs Dance Studio from Winfield, West Virginia for their production number, Big Noise.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: Congrats to all the recent winners of the Making the Impact Award.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: We can't wait to continue to give y'all a shout out on the pod.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: All right, everyone, it's the episode you've been waiting for.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: We are chatting with our die hard dance dads today on Making the Impact.
6:02
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just so excited about this because we did we've done some dance mom episodes, as you've probably heard in seasons past.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: And and Leslie and I, we were both like, we have to do an episode for the dance dads.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: Because we all know those die hard dance dads at our dance studios who maybe they make all the props, or maybe they even help with rhinestone and costumes, or maybe they are the biggest cheerleader for your studio.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: And we decided to hold a contest for people to nominate their favorite diehard dance dads.
6:34
SPEAKER_01: And we had so many submissions come in.
6:36
SPEAKER_01: So thank you to everyone who nominated Dance Dads.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: We narrowed it down to three lucky winners who are joining us today on the podcast.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: I cannot wait to get to know them more and hear their journey as Dance Dads.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited to welcome our first Dance Dad coming to us from Connecticut.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: Please welcome Kyle Fishbein to the podcast.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Kyle.
6:58
SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much for having me.
6:59
SPEAKER_04: I really appreciate this uh this opportunity.
7:02
SPEAKER_04: Looking forward to chatting with everybody.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we're excited to learn more about you.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: And I want to let you know that you were nominated by your wife and a dance parent.
7:13
SPEAKER_01: Another dance parent from the studio nominated you as well.
7:16
SPEAKER_04: Yes, believe it or not, they were very excited to tell me that they nominated me.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is so awesome.
7:22
SPEAKER_04: So I know thank you everybody for that.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's so great.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: So if you wouldn't mind sharing a little bit more about you, obviously you're based in Connecticut, but you can also mention the studio that you're affiliated with for and you know how many dancers you have dancing and also what you do in for your career.
7:43
SPEAKER_04: Okay, cool.
7:43
SPEAKER_04: I'll try to keep this pretty brief because this is probably like a half-hour conversation right here.
7:48
SPEAKER_04: But so I am affiliated with Dance Magic out of Derby, Connecticut.
7:54
SPEAKER_04: That's D-A-N-Z Magic.
7:56
SPEAKER_04: I have a son and a daughter who are both involved in the studio.
7:59
SPEAKER_04: My son is eight years old, his name is Jesse, and my daughter's name is Madalena, or Maddie for short.
8:05
SPEAKER_04: She is about one and a quarter right now.
8:08
SPEAKER_04: She's she's not in competition dance just yet, but she does have uh she is in recital this year, uh, so that'll be exciting.
8:15
SPEAKER_04: Um, but my first experience with dance was coming into Jesse's life.
8:19
SPEAKER_04: Jesse's not my biological son, but for all intents and purposes, he is my son in every sense of the word.
8:26
SPEAKER_04: I first met Jesse when he was five.
8:29
SPEAKER_04: He's now eight, and immediately was like, Who is this kid?
8:32
SPEAKER_04: That knows how to dance like nobody has seen before.
8:36
SPEAKER_04: It it's you know, he's been one of the most amazing influences on my life.
8:42
SPEAKER_04: And to see him dance all the time is just absolutely amazing.
8:44
SPEAKER_04: We're at the studio constantly, you know, getting different uh routines going, getting different tricks in, working on everything and anything uh dance related.
8:55
SPEAKER_04: Uh he is he's really, really good.
8:57
SPEAKER_04: Uh there's no other way to to kind of say it.
9:00
SPEAKER_04: He's been competition dancing since he was four, I believe, so w before I met him.
9:04
SPEAKER_04: And you know, the first year that I became super involved, which you know, when I met his mom and and and when I met him was 2020, so this is obviously the year that COVID all started.
9:15
SPEAKER_04: So I didn't have any dance experience pre-COVID.
9:18
SPEAKER_04: I didn't know what competition was like pre-COVID.
9:20
SPEAKER_04: My wife would tell me these stories of of what it was like to go to competitions and I'm like, Yeah, they only let one person in or or you know, we do it outside or whatever it is.
9:29
SPEAKER_04: You know, I remember one of the competitions, I couldn't they wouldn't let me in, so I d I d you know, it was somewhere a f away from home and I drove down to the nearest McDonald's so I could get an internet signal to watch the live stream.
9:42
SPEAKER_04: Oh wow you know, 'cause I was, you know, so excited to watch Jesse.
9:46
SPEAKER_04: It was one of the first times I saw him dance at a competition.
9:48
SPEAKER_04: So that was that's definitely one of those core memories of dance for me.
9:53
SPEAKER_04: And kind of my relationship with him, with the studio, with the studio owner, the instructors, the other dance parents kind of blossomed from there, and now I I kind of take care of all the props as best as possible.
10:06
SPEAKER_04: You know, we have uh uh a wrapped truck with a dance magic graphic on the side that is a big hit at competition.
10:13
SPEAKER_04: I kind of I load that, unload it, make sure everything's set to go.
10:16
SPEAKER_04: I have my Excel sheet checklist of what came in, what went out, when it's when it's good to go, what the position of it is on the stage, you know, that sort of thing.
10:26
SPEAKER_04: And I'm just I just try to help out whenever possible at the studio, whether that's doing stuff with Jesse, doing other props, you know, helping the director with this, that, and a third thing.
10:35
SPEAKER_04: And it's just been really great in my life to have Jesse in my life, uh, along with the studio itself.
10:43
SPEAKER_04: Uh, and I'll just go briefly into what I do to wrap it up because I know I've already been talking for way too long.
10:50
SPEAKER_04: I work uh at the Connecticut General Assembly, so the state legislature.
10:54
SPEAKER_04: Uh I'm the caucus assistant for the House Democratic Caucus.
10:57
SPEAKER_04: You can see all of the maps and stuff behind me that I helped to draw in the latest redistricting cycle.
11:04
SPEAKER_04: And I kind of just do a lot of constituent services, so helping people get uh state services help if they need unemployment assistance, you know, food stamps, whatever, you know, that kind of thing.
11:14
SPEAKER_04: That's kind of what I do.
11:15
SPEAKER_04: But I'm happy to to be here.
11:16
SPEAKER_04: Thank you for letting me introduce myself and and let's get it rolling.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Kyle, that was awesome.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to learn more.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:25
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I told you I could talk for forever.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: So well, lucky you're on a podcast today.
11:31
SPEAKER_01: Hey, there you go.
11:33
SPEAKER_01: Awesome, Kyle.
11:34
SPEAKER_01: So lovely to hear your story so far.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: Can't wait to learn more.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited to welcome our next dance dad on to the podcast coming to us from Minnesota.
11:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to welcome Jamie Johnson.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Jamie.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Courtney.
11:49
SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Leslie, for uh having me on the podcast.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Super excited to chat today.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
11:55
SPEAKER_01: We're pumped to have you.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: And fun fact, you were nominated by the mother of your children and also your studio owner, which is amazing.
12:04
SPEAKER_03: I and I didn't know that until I um had gotten further along in the process.
12:09
SPEAKER_03: And the mom, my baby mama, she didn't she didn't know it.
12:13
SPEAKER_03: She didn't know it either.
12:14
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I'm super excited that they were able to nominate me.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's awesome.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: It's just, I mean, it's it has to feel good, especially a studio owner nominating you.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: That is just so special.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh, that really says a lot for what you're doing for the studio.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: So I love hearing that.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: And same type of deal, if you wouldn't mind just telling us a little bit more about you.
12:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so uh so as uh Courtney said, I'm in Minnesota.
12:41
SPEAKER_03: Our studio is Millennium Dance Company, and we are out of Albertville, uh, Minnesota, a little north of the Twin Cities.
12:48
SPEAKER_03: I have been a dance dad, so I have two dancers, uh, one that is 11 and her finishing up her seventh year of competitive dance.
12:58
SPEAKER_03: So she's been in dance since week two, and then I have another dancer that is um her fifth year, or I knew that pretty much that the moment they could walk, whether they were boy or girl, that they were gonna be in dance, and up until you know, either it wasn't for them or it was for them.
13:19
SPEAKER_03: And so we knew pretty pretty soon that it was gonna be a part of their life.
13:24
SPEAKER_03: And so really I love it.
13:27
SPEAKER_03: You know, I don't really know much difference than being a dance dad and my kids when they were younger, so they're still kind of young, right?
13:34
SPEAKER_03: But when they were younger, they did you know soccer and some like dance dance, but uh dance is what stage connects where both of them really truly shine, and it's just fun to see them up on stage and then I also kind of are a dance or a dance dance type team, or maybe it's really a team.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: It's a group, I would say.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: So t-shirts and all the competitions and and of course, you know, the goofball that's up on the stage, you know, put you know, putting the props together, trying to, you know, be silly and goofy and just you know put it all out there and everything like that.
14:09
SPEAKER_03: So but yeah.
14:11
SPEAKER_03: So what I'm not uh being the best Uber driver to my kids back and forth to dance.
14:15
SPEAKER_03: I uh work from home.
14:18
SPEAKER_03: I uh work for a company called Sounding Board.
14:20
SPEAKER_03: I'm in sales, so we're um that's what I've been doing for the last 50 days.
14:25
SPEAKER_03: And uh but yeah, love what I do.
14:27
SPEAKER_03: I sell into HR and talk to people all day.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: So this is easy for you.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Awesome, Jamie.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: We are so thrilled to have you here on the podcast.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for everything that you do for your dance studio and for being an awesome dance dad.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: Our next and you are so welcome.
14:44
SPEAKER_01: Our next and final dance dad who is joining us on this chat is coming to us from Tennessee.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to welcome Dwayne Vincent Elliott to the pod.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Welcome.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for glad to be here.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we're so excited to have you and FYI.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: If you are curious who nominated you, another dance parent at your studio nominated you for this podcast episode.
15:10
SPEAKER_07: I figured she called me and said, Can you send a photo view with a photo view?
15:17
SPEAKER_07: I was like, sure.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
15:23
SPEAKER_07: I figured it was out.
15:24
unknown: Yes.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: You gotta love it.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: And I mean, uh she she really sold you in in that in that nomination because uh supposedly, I'm sure we'll get into this, but supposedly you have merchandise for yes, you got you gotta have your own brand.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: Listen, can you please send us some some Mr.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Dwayne merch?
15:44
SPEAKER_07: I can do that.
15:44
SPEAKER_07: Just send me your address.
15:46
SPEAKER_07: I mean, I give it to a lot of people.
15:48
SPEAKER_07: I have keychains.
15:49
SPEAKER_07: So uh moving on to and I have little sticker heads.
15:53
SPEAKER_07: Um, some of the some of the girls uh carry it on their book bags as my head at their screw.
16:00
SPEAKER_07: Kind of awkward and weird sometimes, but you know, it's okay.
16:04
SPEAKER_07: Uh so and then I have GIF emojis that uh my daughter tries to sell to her dan her friends.
16:10
SPEAKER_07: I was like, they're free.
16:11
SPEAKER_07: Why are you doing this?
16:12
SPEAKER_07: And it's like different emotions on my face.
16:14
SPEAKER_07: And so she's an entrepreneur.
16:17
SPEAKER_07: She is, she's learned some learning a lot from me.
16:19
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, she will say, Well, I promise that I'll give you something if you give me a poppin'.
16:23
SPEAKER_07: Or she's like, No, I'll just send it to you.
16:26
SPEAKER_07: It's not that wow.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: That is so cool.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, I can't I can't wait to learn more.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: So tell tell us more about you, it uh about your studio that you your dancer dances at and about your dancer and what you do for a living.
16:42
SPEAKER_07: Awesome.
16:42
SPEAKER_07: Well, I have one dancer named Mamaya, and she is uh dances at Hermitage Dance Academy, and Nashville is the suburb in Hermitage, but it's a suburb of Nashville.
16:51
SPEAKER_07: Um she's been dancing for seven and a half years, uh been a dance dance for seven and a half years.
16:56
SPEAKER_07: Um and besides, as James said, being an Uber in a dance danc, uh my real job is I'm the director for arts and campus events at Vanderbilt University, where I um plan large and small scale events for the Vanderbilt Community in the NAFTA.
17:11
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
17:12
SPEAKER_07: And I've been there for 19 years in May.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: Wow, amazing.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: That's cool.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: What a cool job.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: It's fun.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: It's fun.
17:19
SPEAKER_07: And my role with I am not a prop dad because I know my role.
17:23
SPEAKER_07: I know what I'm doing.
17:24
SPEAKER_06: Listen, I know my community.
17:27
SPEAKER_07: And so I trust the guy the trusty prop dads at Hermann's Dance Academy to make sure that the props are sturdy.
17:33
SPEAKER_07: Uh, I am more of a visual and as you could tell, a branding person.
17:37
SPEAKER_07: So um I help with taking photos of our dancers and competitions legally um when we're supposed to, um, and also uh help out with social media, like our Instagram as well.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: I love hearing it.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean you uh I I I can't get over.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: I think the merch thing sold us for sure on the submission.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: We were just like, wait, what?
18:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh I've never heard of a dance dad having their own merchandise.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, uh we have to.
18:11
SPEAKER_01: I I will I would love to um have some, Mr.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: Dwayne merch.
18:16
SPEAKER_04: I need a keychain for my backpack.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very good.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Very good.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: You know, you got I'll get them for I'll get them for all of us after this episode is over.
18:25
SPEAKER_01: So right, you you can trade for some pop sockets or whatever.
18:30
SPEAKER_04: My kids have plenty of those.
18:31
SPEAKER_04: I'll give you whatever you want.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh my lord.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Hilarious.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm really excited to dive into this chat even more, learn more about y'all.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: So, Leslie, let's jump on in.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Let's jump in.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: So we already know um a little bit.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: Jamie, you said you had had a little bit of knowledge and experience about the dance world because your wife uh danced competitively growing up.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: Was she a professional at all ever, or she just was heavy into it in high school and stuff?
18:59
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I wouldn't say she was a professional, although I think she's between summer of graduating from high school and college, she spent uh the summer out in LA, but um danced competitively and was just um taught and all throughout college.
19:12
SPEAKER_03: And I think she stopped right when she got to um law school or was starting law school, but I saw a couple of her competitions and stuff that she had choreographed and everything like that.
19:22
SPEAKER_03: And she actually has an older daughter that also danced up until she was around 11 and then just decided it wasn't for her and everything like that.
19:30
SPEAKER_03: So I was like, Well, you're batting 66% with you know your offspring, at least being having the love and passion for dance like you do.
19:37
SPEAKER_03: So that's a win.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, all right.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: So you had a little bit of knowledge about what this world is.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: Dwayne, did you have any clue before you had girls um or a a a little girl about dance?
19:47
SPEAKER_07: I only think I knew about it is from the show.
19:49
SPEAKER_07: Okay.
19:50
SPEAKER_07: Oh, good.
19:51
SPEAKER_07: Actually, so but I actually I was I was thinking about dancing, and it's like I used to dance back in the day, um, but it was at a close.
19:59
SPEAKER_07: Right, different world.
20:00
SPEAKER_07: There's no scoring on that dancing ability.
20:04
SPEAKER_07: And also, if my job of the Venerable Dance program is under my supervision, so I had uh opportunity to know about the dance world and things like that.
20:12
SPEAKER_02: So that's pretty awesome.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: And then Kyle, you you uh insinuated that you were very new and very green come 2020 when you got introduced to the competitive dance scene.
20:22
SPEAKER_04: As as green as you can be, certainly not one of my uh well not one of my interests before then, but you know, I I've always said that you gotta support what your kids love to do.
20:31
SPEAKER_04: So, you know, if it's dance, if it's cheerleading, like Jesse tried cheerleading, if it's basketball, you know, whatever it is, you know, the art you know, different arts, you know, you always gotta support what your kids gotta do.
20:42
SPEAKER_04: So you gotta be all in like if I knew if I knew anything about dance, I probably would be an instructor for him.
20:47
SPEAKER_04: Like if my daughter wants to do basketball or golf or something like that, I will 100% coach the team.
20:53
SPEAKER_04: Like, you know, I I've always tried to be as on as possible with the kids in their interests.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: That's great.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: That's really great to hear.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: And especially with you having a boy.
21:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: There's still, sadly, it's 2023 and there's still a stigma around boys dancing.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: So we knew we wanted to have a a boy dad perspective on this.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: And do you feel like he's how does how does he feel about being a boy that dances?
21:16
SPEAKER_04: You know, it's it has this challenges, you know, it has its ups and downs.
21:20
SPEAKER_04: I would say for for the most part, it's it's been pretty positive.
21:23
SPEAKER_04: And that's, you know, mostly due to the culture that we have at Dance Magic.
21:27
SPEAKER_04: We do have other boy dancers at Dance Magic.
21:30
SPEAKER_04: Um, and there's another competitive dancer there who is excellent and who my son looks to for motivation and and things like that.
21:38
SPEAKER_04: So that's that's like a really key part of it, I would think.
21:41
SPEAKER_04: I would say the the difficulty has been mostly within the school structure.
21:46
SPEAKER_04: There's been times where he doesn't want to let people his friends know that he dances and things like that, even though he's got, you know, a room full of trophies a mile a mile high.
21:55
SPEAKER_04: I mean, you know, he's very good at it, but sometimes you know, kids can be Cruel sometimes and he doesn't want to get teased.
22:03
SPEAKER_04: And that's something traditionally that boys have been teased for doing, unfortunately.
22:07
SPEAKER_04: So it's definitely had its ups and downs, but overwhelmingly positive, I would say.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's really nice to hear, especially because he has a a role model in the studio already to look up to and to kind of, you know, learn from.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: That's I'm glad for that.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: And to have a supportive dad that's going to be there for those quick changes, be there because I think that that's also like a hard part for the boys dancing at competitions too.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: They're a little bit more separated from the girls who are like having little parties and digs in the dressing room.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: And then the boy is excluded, and they're, you know, who's going into the dressing room to help the boy if it's not dad, if it's mom, and that is that, you know, it you have such a great it sounds like you have such a beautiful relationship with your son that probably makes it even more special that the that, you know, dad's here with me and it's not just always mom and we can do this together as a family.
22:57
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so that's that's actually interesting that you bring that up because that's been sort of a much, much more recent phenomenon.
23:04
SPEAKER_04: Jesse, at one point, it was okay for him to be in with the girls because they had this kind of relationship and he has his own kind of area that he goes in last year, and this year was kind of the first time that he had, you know, he was in the boys' dressing room.
23:16
SPEAKER_04: You know, at a lot of these competitions, there's not very many boys and they don't dance at the same time as Jesse.
23:22
SPEAKER_04: So I I would say 95% of the time at this point, my wife is still one of the ones helping him get dressed.
23:28
SPEAKER_04: Also because because of, you know, the availability, but also because I'm often doing other things out, you know, doing things on the truck or doing things backstage, and sometimes I'm just not available to do to do the changes.
23:42
SPEAKER_04: You know, as long as there's no other boys in there, there's no problem.
23:44
SPEAKER_04: And Jesse's taken a a huge step forward in like getting himself ready, which at eight is like is very, very good to hear because a lot of the older kids, you know, it's a difficult thing to do in general, is to do all these quick changes with these tight costumes when you're sweating and all of that.
24:00
SPEAKER_04: And he's taking a really big leap in kind of knowing what he has to do.
24:03
SPEAKER_04: Okay, I get off the stage, I go to the dressing room, I need to do this, this, and this.
24:06
SPEAKER_04: My costumes are set in order.
24:08
SPEAKER_04: I made these little labels for each of his costume bags that have like the name of the routine and each piece of the costume, along with any props that he has for those routines.
24:18
SPEAKER_04: So what's in there, you know exactly what's in there, you know exactly what you need to do.
24:23
SPEAKER_04: And he's he by the time my wife even gets to the room sometimes, he's like half-dressed to the next routine.
24:28
SPEAKER_04: And if you know my wife, she bolts right out of the room as soon as the routine's over to get there.
24:32
SPEAKER_05: Aww.
24:33
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, no, I just I'm really, really proud of how Jesse is maturing as a dancer i i in in more ways than one.
24:40
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
24:40
SPEAKER_04: I don't want to take credit where it's not due in this particular piece specifically, but you know, really, really proud of him and the progress he's made.
24:48
SPEAKER_00: That's cool.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: I I think you brought up a good sort of point, like he's growing as a dancer in this context of being able to learn how to get himself dressed and ready and backstage, you know.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm wondering, Damien and Dwayne, to me, like that's something that is very specific to dance.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: It helps you get ready quickly.
25:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, soccer doesn't really do that, basketball doesn't really do that.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: You know, what do you think the dance world has given your children that other organized activities for kids maybe don't give?
25:16
SPEAKER_00: Like what is what are the benefits of dance that you see that your kids have really like kind of latched onto?
25:21
SPEAKER_07: I think it allows, gives my daughter an opportunity to have structure.
25:24
SPEAKER_07: She will she knows what time to be at dance.
25:28
SPEAKER_07: You know, if your dance is at 5 30, you can give it at least by 5 15 to stretch.
25:32
SPEAKER_07: Um, if you have ballet, you're gonna have your Leos, you gotta have your hair in a bun.
25:37
SPEAKER_07: You don't have your hair in a bun, you have to do push-ups or something.
25:40
SPEAKER_07: So I it's and it's it's good for it, it gives them structure.
25:44
SPEAKER_07: I think it also gives them accountability um because you're working as a team.
25:48
SPEAKER_07: So it gives you the opportunity if someone if you're in a group dance, it you might do a turn too early or you might do a turn too late.
25:57
SPEAKER_07: Um, so it's all uh a team effort and it's good to get that focused on them because when you grow older, you're gonna be working with teams, you're gonna work in a job with other people.
26:06
SPEAKER_07: And so it gives you those opportunities to have those coping skills and structure that um be better in a change.
26:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would say to echo that.
26:15
SPEAKER_03: I think from my perspective, now granted my kids were they've been primarily only dancing for I would say at least the last five or six years.
26:21
SPEAKER_03: And so I don't really know that I can compare it to, you know, what a you know an eleven-year-old soccer mom does with her children.
26:29
SPEAKER_03: But I would say being able to what I've seen them to be able to be really adapt and being able to do, I think take some of that pressure when you're you know, you only have three numbers between your last performance and your next one to get back to that to that dressing room, get your costume on, get in the right frame of mind, and remember, hey, I'm going from a contemporary number to now a hip hop number, and then being able to pull that that part of your brain and that memory, and then go out and then just hopefully, you know, perform to the best that they can, right?
26:59
SPEAKER_03: And so I think, you know, like my oldest is in seven numbers, my youngest is in four numbers, three numbers, advance dad, but three numbers, right?
27:06
SPEAKER_03: And being able to just be able to pull all that and then go on and perform it and then do it again, right?
27:11
SPEAKER_03: And just to me, just thinking about like I, you know, I'm doing the dads and dancers and I have to do like a four-minute dance, and I'm like, okay, wait, how do I learn this?
27:19
SPEAKER_03: I got to keep watching videos and practice it and everything like that.
27:22
SPEAKER_03: But just the the I think the muscle memory that's building for them accidentally, I think, will help them be able to whatever whatever it is that they choose to do in the future, right?
27:31
SPEAKER_03: And so I think that's a skill that I think that I would think you're probably not necessarily learning as you know, a goalie in hockey, right?
27:39
SPEAKER_03: And everything like that.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: So I know you're not gonna get all the hockey parents later gonna cancel me, but well, I mean, we I don't think we have a lot of hockey parents listening, so I think you're you're probably fine.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but you are in Minnesota, so maybe some of your people might listen and get angry.
27:54
SPEAKER_00: Kyle, is there anything you want to add to that question?
27:57
SPEAKER_04: You know, it's a challenging environment.
28:00
SPEAKER_04: It it really is, and you really get to see, you know, your kids mature.
28:04
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I'm gonna go back to it.
28:06
SPEAKER_04: You really get to see how your kids mature over time, the relationships that they form with the instructors, with the other dancers, with the other dancers' parents, and everybody's stressed out.
28:16
SPEAKER_04: It's just a fact of competition life.
28:18
SPEAKER_04: So navigating that while also like remembering your own routines.
28:23
SPEAKER_04: Like Jesse usually has anywhere between ten to twelve routines.
28:27
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
28:28
SPEAKER_04: You know, he he's in he he he has three solos.
28:32
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
28:32
SPEAKER_04: You know, at least one duet, four or five groups, y you know, six groups maybe, and and we'll have more come national time.
28:40
SPEAKER_04: And it's really just incredible to see the persistence throughout the season that they have and that they develop a and and just how they they navigate this entire scene where you see a lot of the parents sometimes they they don't know how to navigate it properly.
28:54
SPEAKER_04: You you made reference to this a little bit earlier where you were talking about one of your episodes about uh stage moms and how some of them can get overboard.
29:02
SPEAKER_04: And this isn't a mom issue, I'm just going back to your example, um, how you know some parents can can get a little can go a little overboard.
29:09
SPEAKER_04: And the kids are usually the ones that know what they're doing, that you know, they're right in place, they understand what's going on, and they understand like the appropriate amount of worry and stress to have for going on.
29:22
SPEAKER_04: And it and it's really cool to see that.
29:24
SPEAKER_04: I don't know if this is directly related to the question, but I thought I heard Jamie mention about being in a dance yourself for the studio.
29:31
SPEAKER_04: Was that was I correct in hearing that?
29:33
SPEAKER_03: You are, yes.
29:34
SPEAKER_03: We um so at our studio we have a dance and dancers besides just recital.
29:38
SPEAKER_03: So I wouldn't even say we're a competition team, but we have performed at two nationals.
29:44
SPEAKER_03: We are title holders, but are we really title holders if we didn't compete against anyone?
29:48
SPEAKER_03: But I mean it's a good point.
29:50
SPEAKER_03: It's a good point.
29:51
SPEAKER_03: We shook it, we owned it, and let me tell you, we're doing it again this year.
29:56
SPEAKER_03: Uh so yeah, we have we have our we actually have to compete at a regional one here in a couple of weeks.
30:00
SPEAKER_03: And so um, needless to say, their last practice.
30:03
SPEAKER_03: I um yeah, I'll be studying.
30:05
SPEAKER_03: So after this, I'll be uh working working my core my chore choreography and stuff.
30:10
SPEAKER_06: So nice.
30:11
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, that was really cool.
30:12
SPEAKER_04: I just wanted to to kind of take back off that because our stud we do a a parents dance every year where we have all the parents come and sign up and and you know, we we pick out these different, you know, cool routines that we do when the kids we usually uh do it at nationals only and the kids always come running up to everybody to do our makeup beforehand.
30:33
SPEAKER_06: Cute.
30:33
SPEAKER_04: I have one of the other dance dads that I that is uh helps me out with the props and and is a good friend of mine.
30:40
SPEAKER_04: He's completely bald.
30:41
SPEAKER_04: So you can imagine all the stuff that goes on top of his head from from the other students before we go on stage.
30:48
SPEAKER_04: You know, and we do some we did, you know, we do like lifts.
30:51
SPEAKER_04: We had we lifted we had uh uh I think three or four of us that lifted one of the dance ads up uh two years ago.
30:58
SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, it that's I think that's one of the coolest experiences being a part of the competition team all year and then getting to do a routine.
31:06
SPEAKER_04: Um so it's cool to see that other studios kind of do a similar a similar routine, you know, with the parents.
31:12
SPEAKER_04: I think it's really cool.
31:13
SPEAKER_04: And my wife always tries to sign me up for a cartwheel when she writes my name down on the sign-up seat.
31:18
SPEAKER_04: Special skills.
31:19
SPEAKER_04: She she wrote cartwheel next to it as if I didn't already do a cartwheel two years ago, and I kind of don't look at that part of the screen when we watch the video because it does not look does not look like a uh a cartwheel in any shape or form.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: But uh you want to make your dancer proud of that cart, you know.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, it wasn't my best execution.
31:39
SPEAKER_04: I was like, Jesse, teach me how to do a cartwheel.
31:42
SPEAKER_04: I don't know how to do a cartwheel.
31:43
SPEAKER_04: And he was like really like trying to coach me up, and I was like, I I I I just cannot get the they're harder than they look, aren't they?
31:50
SPEAKER_04: Well yeah.
31:51
SPEAKER_04: No, I just I just thought it was really cool that there's other studios that that that do this because I don't know what other studios do.
31:57
SPEAKER_03: It's the highlight of my year.
31:59
SPEAKER_04: But Dwayne, sorry.
32:00
SPEAKER_00: Dwayne, are you in a dance dad?
32:01
SPEAKER_00: Or in a dance dance a dance dad dance?
32:04
SPEAKER_00: There it is.
32:05
SPEAKER_07: No, but we had me and the uh CEO and I had created differences, so I decided not to perform.
32:13
SPEAKER_07: Just kidding, just kidding to say love these, just kidding.
32:16
SPEAKER_07: No, I wanted to take pictures of them so they could remember it.
32:20
SPEAKER_07: So we did it two years ago and they did really well.
32:22
SPEAKER_07: They did it nationals.
32:24
SPEAKER_07: Nice.
32:24
SPEAKER_07: And I call their award-winning, even though they were the only uh parent dance there, but they won, so that's good.
32:30
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
32:30
SPEAKER_07: Um, yeah, it's good.
32:32
SPEAKER_07: I was I was there to provide Icy Hot and uh ice backs.
32:36
SPEAKER_07: Great, those are crucial.
32:37
SPEAKER_01: You need that too.
32:39
SPEAKER_01: You know what I think is really exciting about these, like hearing, you know, everyone's participation in the parent dances, if those exist at your studio, is I think it probably I I know that like I can reference back to my years as a competitive dancer, and there was a production number that we did where the parents were able to be a part of it, and my mom and dad were in it, and there was the the mom's dance, they did thriller, Michael Jackson thriller as zombies, and they had so much fun.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: My dad did Men in Black, and there were only like four dance dads that signed up for it, only four, and my dad was one of them.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: And I think, like for me, at like being nine years old in that moment, I I always remember it.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: Like it was so special to me that my dad was willing to step up and learn choreography and like I could fear for him and you know, they could get excited for something.
33:27
SPEAKER_01: And I also think it's exciting to have the parents like understand what it really takes to do what we do.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: Because as you know, like you're all not dancers, but you are learning choreography in those moments.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: You're you have to understand how to dance to the music.
33:42
SPEAKER_01: You have to remember what comes next, you have to get your costume ready.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: Like there's so many aspects, and that's just doing one.
33:48
SPEAKER_01: And like you said, your son has 12, your dancer has five different dances, however many solos, you know, all the things.
33:54
SPEAKER_01: So I think it means more than you think to your kid that you are participating in those moments because they'll always remember that dad was in the dance.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Like, how cool is that?
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35:32
SPEAKER_04: I I will say that's the routine that gets the biggest fear every year in a few.
35:35
SPEAKER_04: And it's not very close.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I mean everybody loved it.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, there were at the at the conference that I was working this weekend, and like I just love it because again, it's like it's clearly people going out of their comfort zone, either for their own benefit or for the benefit of their kids, you know, and it's just it's really cool to see.
35:51
SPEAKER_00: And again, just you know, we've Courtney and I were we're professional dancers.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: Uh Courtney said professional dancer.
35:57
SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of people, even just in our demographic and people who aren't parents, are something like, oh, you do what?
36:03
SPEAKER_00: And it's just a you just don't know what it is until you know what it is.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: And so now that you guys have had this opportunity to, you know, do what we do in a small way, it's like it's really cool.
36:12
SPEAKER_00: I want to know what it is.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: So it sounds like you guys are all very well loved and liked and supported at your individual dance studios.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: I would love to know though, like what does your studio do that you feel particularly supported as a dance dad by?
36:28
SPEAKER_00: And what do you think studios and competitions could do better to support you as dance dads?
36:32
SPEAKER_00: Because like you guys kind of mentioned, a lot of times it's mom central, you know.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: And when when there are really dedicated dance dads, I think there's clearly a reason, and it's it's probably coming from the studios themselves.
36:44
SPEAKER_03: So this is, I would say this is our what I didn't say in my introduction is this is our second studio.
36:49
SPEAKER_03: And I would say the the studio director and her husband are phenomenal.
36:54
SPEAKER_03: And he's a full-time job, but is very actively building the props and very much recruiting the other dance bands to help with changes and everything like that.
37:02
SPEAKER_03: And so I think one of the things is the studio director, Jane, her name's Jane as well.
37:07
SPEAKER_03: I know, pretty cool name, right?
37:08
SPEAKER_03: But uh she, you know, I think it's just she's very all about inclusive, and Bruce really kind of pulls this all in.
37:15
SPEAKER_03: Her husband Jay really pulls this all in and really just kind of creates a sense of belonging and a community for us.
37:21
SPEAKER_03: So I think that that is really helps me want to be able to say, hey, okay, I just I'm not here to drive, I'm not just here to hold the dream duffels and everything like that, and everything like that.
37:30
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, like I can't go back because I've got girls, I can't go back and do hair and the belly bun and all these things that need to be done.
37:37
SPEAKER_03: But I can go back and help with the the props and be able to do that and actually be part of this community as well, just versus, you know, like some of the dads where the I don't dance, I finance.
37:47
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, nope, I danced and I finance, right?
37:49
SPEAKER_03: Like that's my claim, that's my claim, right?
37:52
SPEAKER_03: And so that I think is what the studio does really well.
37:56
SPEAKER_03: I would say in terms of the competitions, I've been to some competitions where they like literally have pulled up dads and we're doing dance-offs and everything like that.
38:03
SPEAKER_03: And I love that.
38:04
SPEAKER_03: Like I literally am raising my hand, I'm like, yep, I'm going, despite my kids' both best efforts to get my hand to go down.
38:11
SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm right up front and center, so the MCs, the judges can see me, like, right?
38:16
SPEAKER_03: Like, these are gonna be the memories that I'm long gone that hopefully that they'll that they'll hold on to.
38:20
SPEAKER_03: And I, you know, I've got no shame in my game.
38:22
SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm up there doing a shameless kitty or you know, looking just you know, doing a jazz square back, making it for wrong, making up dance moves that don't exist.
38:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, hey, this is a schlap cut t double time step pirouette backhand.
38:34
SPEAKER_03: And they're like, that doesn't exist.
38:36
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, yeah, it's the latest thing.
38:38
SPEAKER_03: I just saw it on TikTok.
38:39
SPEAKER_03: And you know, like that, you know, that that's the dat I am.
38:42
SPEAKER_03: And so I think you know, I think the you know, the competitions, I think I don't know, I think really at least the ones that we do here have done a great job, I think, including and really, you know, having the dad be part in any way that they can, and I I guess really feel comfortable with as well.
38:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'll jump I'll jump in here quick.
39:01
SPEAKER_04: I hesitate to kind of lay blame on anybody for not doing something.
39:05
SPEAKER_04: I would say for the most part, like in my experience, it's been from the studio director down, like Jamie was saying, a super inclusive environment at our studio.
39:14
SPEAKER_04: And and for the c for the competition piece, really the only thing I've I've ever, you know, kind of wanted them to do better at some point, and this isn't the case across all competitions, but is a a a dressing room.
39:28
SPEAKER_04: Some competitions don't have boys' dressing rooms.
39:31
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
39:31
SPEAKER_04: So we have to get a little tent and set it up in some random public place or you know, or we're down below the stage there was one competition where there was, you know, wrapped in the little room next to the stage that my my son was changing it.
39:44
SPEAKER_04: And and my wife was like, No, we're not going down there.
39:47
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, You're you're right, you're not going down.
39:49
SPEAKER_04: That's really my only thing in terms of like studios and competitions.
39:53
SPEAKER_04: Most of the competitions we've been to have been excellent.
39:56
SPEAKER_04: There's this one, and I know we're not supposed to name them that's super excellent, always makes us l feel super, super welcome.
40:02
SPEAKER_04: We have like awesome dressing room, and and the studio director's been absolutely wonderful.
40:07
SPEAKER_04: All the instructors, everybody involved.
40:10
SPEAKER_04: I will say my thought on this has been generally that unfortunately, a lot of times it's the dad's fault.
40:19
SPEAKER_04: I don't feel like there's a lack of inclusiveness, uh, you know, in my experience.
40:23
SPEAKER_04: But what I see a lot of the time is, you know, a dad will come in or not even come in, they won't even c they'll just drive up to the door, drop their kid off, and leave, and they you'll never see their face.
40:35
SPEAKER_04: Or you see them once in a while in a blue moon when you've got to come in for a full studio meeting or something like that.
40:41
SPEAKER_04: Or they come, you know, they pr bring their payment slip to the front and then leave.
40:46
SPEAKER_04: They don't know what dances their kid is in, they don't know what shoes they need, they don't know the music, they don't know, you know, any of the instructors' names, they don't know what their kid is struggling with, what they need to work on, because they're not taking that initiative to ask those questions.
40:59
SPEAKER_04: And that's kind of that's kind of the sad part to me.
41:02
SPEAKER_04: And I and I'm very lucky that at our studio we we don't have that a lot of the time, but you see and hear that a lot, that that, you know, and and you see it in like the the stereotypical like shirts and merchandise that the dads wear.
41:15
SPEAKER_04: Um, like I know Jamie, you mentioned before about and I really love your your twist on it where you do I dance and I finance, but when it's like the I don't dance, I finance, a lot of the times that's indicative of you know the this this mindset that you're just there to pay for it or you're not there to like be involved.
41:33
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's true.
41:34
SPEAKER_04: And Jamie's twist on it is beautiful.
41:36
SPEAKER_04: Like I really, really love that that twist on it.
41:38
SPEAKER_04: Like I'm here, I'm always here, I'm helping out, I'm doing whatever I can do to be involved in my kids' dance.
41:45
SPEAKER_04: And and I think that's kind of just that's kind of the culture that we as dads have perpetrated.
41:51
SPEAKER_04: You know, not us here, because we're obviously all very involved, but as as as a whole that we've perpetrated throughout, you know, however many years.
41:59
SPEAKER_04: It just seems like that's that's been the case for the most part for most of the dads.
42:02
SPEAKER_04: That's why you don't see a lot of them signing up for parents' dance.
42:04
SPEAKER_04: It's why you don't see their faces a lot of time.
42:07
SPEAKER_04: I see guys at the studio, I'm like, I don't know whose whose dad they are.
42:10
SPEAKER_04: I don't know if they're a dad or an uncle or or who whoever, you know.
42:14
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and it's unfortunate because you know, we we do have a very special role in our kids' lives, and and to not be there to support it, as I know at least you know, the three of us are very heavily, you know, there to support our kids, you know, it may not be something we're interested in.
42:30
SPEAKER_04: I was not interested in Pokemon before I met Jesse.
42:33
SPEAKER_04: Now I know everything about Pokemon.
42:35
SPEAKER_04: I I knew nothing about dance.
42:37
SPEAKER_04: Now I know a lot about dance.
42:39
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
42:39
SPEAKER_04: You know, would I, if I didn't meet him, no, but it's what he's interested in, it's what he likes to do.
42:46
SPEAKER_04: You know, it it's it's important that we support our kids and we be all in with them because if we're not all in, how can we expect them to be all in?
42:54
SPEAKER_04: And we shouldn't force them to to like or be involved in the things that we're involved in, um, because they didn't ask for that.
43:02
SPEAKER_04: If they're not interested, they're not interested.
43:04
SPEAKER_04: I try all the time to get Jesse to go golfing with me because I love golf, is what I grew up doing.
43:08
SPEAKER_04: He is not interested, and that's okay.
43:11
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, my daughter's won.
43:12
SPEAKER_04: She'll have a set of golf clubs in October when it's her birthday.
43:15
SPEAKER_04: She'll have the little Tyques plastic clubs, and we will, you know, we'll hit them around the house and whatever.
43:19
SPEAKER_04: But if she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to do it.
43:22
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
43:23
SPEAKER_04: Like it's it's I I don't want to blame anybody, but I I see a lot of the time that it's it's self-inflicted, unfortunately.
43:30
SPEAKER_04: Studios are great, competitions are great for the most part, but as as as a dance as a society, we kind of need to to help ourselves change that image that people have of us.
43:42
SPEAKER_04: That that's why people people, you know, tend to to gravitate towards the moms, you know.
43:47
SPEAKER_04: Like where's your mom?
43:48
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'll check with her mom, you know.
43:50
SPEAKER_04: You gotta know the answers to these basic things.
43:52
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
43:53
SPEAKER_04: Like that's anything from you.
43:56
SPEAKER_01: No, that's it's great.
43:57
SPEAKER_01: It's great.
43:58
SPEAKER_01: It's true.
43:59
SPEAKER_07: And I'll add about the two cents.
44:00
SPEAKER_07: I think the most important thing is that studio be inclusive.
44:04
SPEAKER_07: And I think that the studio that Amai is a part of is very open.
44:09
SPEAKER_07: I'll stay there.
44:10
SPEAKER_07: She gets there at five o'clock.
44:12
SPEAKER_07: She's done at 845.
44:14
SPEAKER_07: I'm there the whole time making sure something everything's going okay.
44:17
SPEAKER_07: I talk to the moms, we gossip on TV shows or whatever.
44:20
SPEAKER_07: But she knows that if something's you know, she knows I'm there.
44:24
SPEAKER_07: I think that's the most important part that she knows I'm present.
44:28
SPEAKER_07: I'm at all the competitions unless something happens.
44:31
SPEAKER_07: Um the her peers know I'm there.
44:34
SPEAKER_07: If they need a keychain or merch or anything like that, I'm there.
44:38
SPEAKER_07: And you know we I just play around with it.
44:40
SPEAKER_07: Everyone has a nickname and you just gotta be there.
44:43
SPEAKER_07: You just gotta be willing to do it because if my daughter likes it, I'm gonna like it.
44:47
SPEAKER_07: And she's she's there the whole time.
44:50
SPEAKER_07: So why not be there with her?
44:52
SPEAKER_07: Because she goes to school in the morning, leaves school, comes to dance, goes home, eats dinner, goes to bed.
44:58
SPEAKER_07: So I need to meet her where she's at in order to see her and spend time with her.
45:02
SPEAKER_07: With the competitions, I love how they're very inclusive.
45:05
SPEAKER_07: They're like, oh yeah, they're always there's always a mention of them.
45:08
SPEAKER_07: And so I think that's also important that there's a acknowledgement of the dads there as well.
45:13
SPEAKER_04: That is that is another important part.
45:15
SPEAKER_04: I was just gonna say a quick comment about like sometimes we'll be hanging out in the studio or whatever or at you know another dance parents' house and my wife will be like you know you know why don't you go talk to the other dads?
45:24
SPEAKER_04: I'm like I don't know them.
45:26
SPEAKER_04: I never see them like I'd rather talk to the dance moms who I talk to who are here every day who who know what's going on like and we have these inside jokes like my wife and I have jokes with the other dance moms that are there but like that same camaraderie doesn't exist a lot of the time with some of the dance it it exists with the other ones who are involved and there are a lot of those at our studio and I'm thankful for that.
45:47
SPEAKER_04: But there are so there are some at our studio at other studios where that's not possible.
45:53
SPEAKER_04: And that's just kind of she kind of like she's like go talk to them.
45:56
SPEAKER_04: I'm like I don't I don't know them.
45:57
SPEAKER_04: I don't know like let me talk to the people I know that I see every day at the studio like the people that really care about their kids who want to be involved.
46:05
SPEAKER_04: You should come with us to our studio we have when we have competitions at other places I'm playing golf trips between the dances I tried to do that at Nationals last year because one of the other super involved dads also plays golf and we have a really good relationship and it just didn't happen.
46:22
SPEAKER_04: But I am totally if I'm ever in Tennessee.
46:25
SPEAKER_01: Let's make sure let's let's have all y'all's uh studios link up and make sure you're at the same nationals this year.
46:31
SPEAKER_01: How about that?
46:33
SPEAKER_04: I don't know about this year, but that's true.
46:35
SPEAKER_04: I think everybody's booked for this book.
46:38
SPEAKER_04: We'll put it on the radar.
46:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah I love it.
46:41
SPEAKER_04: But we should definitely exchange info at the end.
46:44
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
46:44
SPEAKER_04: Because this is a good group of people.
46:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah it is yeah it is it's it's it's so special and especially meeting other dance dads I'm sure it feels great to know there's others like you out there.
46:55
SPEAKER_01: There are other dance dads who care just as much as you care about your child's dance training and everything that they're gaining out of their studio life and having a supportive dad there because like we've talked about on this chat, which I love where this discussion has gone like it sometimes it feels very mom central, mom focused and mom take care of this, mom take care of that.
47:19
SPEAKER_01: And what about dad?
47:20
SPEAKER_01: What if dad wants to take care of it, like then let dad but I loved that you know like I said my dad wasn't involved but it was primarily my mom like you know so I'd love for I love hearing that there are dads out there that are putting as much love and passion into it.
47:36
SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh, wait you just sent us a photo of the my that is I have this mermaid backpack this mermaid scale backpack that's become a standard at competitions and you see it on the stage and you're like oh that's dance magic.
47:52
SPEAKER_04: I need this keychain for my mermaid backpack.
47:55
SPEAKER_00: All right wait so feel so strongly about Dwayne I want to know where how did your Mr Dwayne merch evolve?
48:03
SPEAKER_00: Like how did it happen?
48:04
SPEAKER_00: Why do you have merch?
48:05
SPEAKER_00: Where can I buy it?
48:08
SPEAKER_07: Well it started for at Vanderburg University where I work we have a recognition ceremony every year.
48:14
SPEAKER_07: And so we always give um our student leaders a diploma frame because something useful you know they're expensive and so it's something they can use for their diploma and so I didn't have a diploma at the time so I just put my face in the diploma.
48:28
SPEAKER_07: And so every year it became a Dwayne award and so it kept going I was like you know what I should make stickers.
48:35
SPEAKER_07: So I made stickers and so I got reached out by the company I used and they're like oh we have a sell on keychains I was like wow keychain a Dwayne head on a keychain that's amazing so I went ahead and made those and it's you know and the it's it's funny how like I give them to like some of my colleagues just um purchased a home and so I gave them like a little gift basket and I also gave them a keychain to put their key on but of course none of them put it on their keychain it's like we don't want to carry your head around you.
49:06
SPEAKER_07: It's like it's fine.
49:07
SPEAKER_07: It's okay whatever not offended not offended so it's in their garage.
49:11
SPEAKER_07: So you know at least it's somewhere um so yeah that's where it came apart and the picture I sent you is one of my best friends even though we're frenemies of Maisie shout out to Maisie she she was the first one I gave one to and then it spurred on and actually uh quick story one of the dance moms uh she has two boys along with her daughter and we were talking and I said we're gonna race your card and if I win you owe me you owe me some money and he said I don't have any money I said we'll just get it from your piggy bank and he said well I don't have a piggy bank I was like what I said so where do you put your money he said I'll put it in my underwear drawer I said your your what he said you know my underwear drawer I was like I was like okay so I found his name's Trent and I found a uh kind of like a piggy bait in the shape of a T and I put my face and I put my face on it and so I gave it to him at dance yeah so I gave it to him at dance and he like here put some money in my and so he ran with a lot of money I'm like that should make bring my piggy bank so I can get and so the mom sent me a a picture of him sleeping with the with it with a piggy bank beside oh my gosh that's cute.
50:30
SPEAKER_00: Mr.
50:30
SPEAKER_01: Dwayne's just everywhere you need to sell those uh keychain stickers at recital this year and get a little merch booth set up.
50:37
SPEAKER_07: Hey I might I might have to get some kickback on something so yeah what's that Venmo?
50:42
SPEAKER_01: I'll send it to you Mayor 100% I'm dead serious this is going on the mermaid backpack I'll send you one I'll send you one of that something I'm curious to learn more about really briefly before we head out head towards the end of this discussion is Jamie I thought something that was interesting about your submission is that you mentioned that you have two dancers but you co-parent with with mom.
51:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm curious to hear more about that and how you know how how does that work for both of you?
51:15
SPEAKER_01: Do you feel like that you have a certain schedule that allows this and I think that it's exciting to to hear that with co-parenting that you still are so heavily involved in your daughter's you know s activity of choice which happens to be dance because it is a more you know mom-centric type of of activity.
51:37
SPEAKER_01: So tell us more about that.
51:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah so we were never married uh we uh you know went to high school together got confirmed together so we've known each other for a long time and I just wanted to um I tell everyone I'm a single Pringle for life and I wanted to have kids she wanted to have more kids so we just figured out how it would all work as much as we possibly could which was probably a tenth of what we really actually happened.
52:01
SPEAKER_03: And then so we you know lived in neighboring cities and the girls at this point just get to decide where they want to go.
52:08
SPEAKER_03: Uh and then really try like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday it's a true divide and conquer between dance and Girl Scouts and all the other activities that they've got going on.
52:17
SPEAKER_03: And then yeah it's so it's it's it's it works.
52:21
SPEAKER_03: Uh I don't know any they don't really know anything different.
52:24
SPEAKER_03: Their friends are like well wait your parents aren't married so it's just kind of a weird kind of dynamic I they're just having to educate how the kids can tell that story.
52:33
SPEAKER_03: But yeah we um so that's what we we're kind of our own version of a modern family if you will.
52:38
SPEAKER_06: Nice.
52:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah well and just the scheduling I mean it's already it's hard enough if you do live in the same house to like get everybody's schedule in line but you know that's must be a very big feature.
52:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah it I mean it it it might it maybe I don't know it's just all that we've ever known right and so but yeah it's it works so far.
52:57
SPEAKER_03: Not that well that's so cool.
52:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah that's awesome that's yeah it is really awesome to hear because I feel like that there might be a lot of parents out there listening who maybe were married and then maybe have recently been divorced or whatever their situation is and then they're kind of doing like a co-parenting situation.
53:15
SPEAKER_01: And maybe dad isn't really wanting to be as as involved uh in dance as they may have been if they were still married and the wife was like come on let's like come with me to competition.
53:26
SPEAKER_01: If the kids are with mom this weekend and it's competition weekend dad might not come and support and I mean I I don't I don't know.
53:35
SPEAKER_01: I hope that's not true.
53:36
SPEAKER_01: I hope that the dads still come but you know I think that a lot of people can relate uh to you in this scenario I'm sure who are listening.
53:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah I think it was just for me it was you know um you know not my parents were divorced didn't really have you know a strong really a father figure at all and so really you know providing being there for my kids is like top and top and front of mind for me.
53:57
SPEAKER_03: And so it's really important for me to sh be very active be very present in their life be very curious about their life.
54:03
SPEAKER_03: I've heard that as girls get older they start to like their dad more so I'm hoping that fingers crossed that is that is the case because they're both kind of mommy's girls right now.
54:11
SPEAKER_03: Well my youngest one maybe maybe she likes my health because I've got faster internet and the dog.
54:16
SPEAKER_03: So Oh nice.
54:17
SPEAKER_03: So I've got to listen the faster internet's helpful.
54:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah I might be fourth or fifth in that priority I we haven't she won't confirm or deny that.
54:24
SPEAKER_00: So oh my goodness.
54:26
SPEAKER_00: Well I also want to mention to Dwayne I was looking through your submission and what I really loved um aside from the merch what I really loved was that you have a full complete detailed list of every single placement that your daughter received this year.
54:42
SPEAKER_00: It's like you went through the program and like created did you create a spreadsheet?
54:46
SPEAKER_00: Because I was like oh wow he know he knows everything.
54:48
SPEAKER_01: Literally the name of like every award, the ranking of the award, the adjudication we were blown away we're like whoa oh my gosh this is so impressive.
54:58
SPEAKER_07: Yes, that is true.
55:00
SPEAKER_07: I'm very detail oriented and so I want to make sure and like you said in the podcast previously it evidences your great greatness so I want to make sure that I remember everything that she does.
55:10
SPEAKER_07: And I think that she's my dog is very hard on herself.
55:14
SPEAKER_07: She's like when she dances when she's done she's like I didn't do this right.
55:17
SPEAKER_07: I missed this term.
55:18
SPEAKER_07: I didn't do that.
55:19
SPEAKER_07: I didn't do this and I was like but what did you do right?
55:23
SPEAKER_07: And I think it's important that she know she knows that and I always tell her I don't care if you mess up if you fall or whatever, as long as you're having a great time.
55:33
SPEAKER_07: And so that's the most important thing to me and this this past weekend we had a competition and she did our solo right before I left to go to my conference and she's like daddy I had the best time enjoying myself I was like winning.
55:46
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
55:47
SPEAKER_07: Winning winning so yes I have every detail every award what placement I keep it so I can have it and I'm a memory person so later on I'm gonna make a little scrapbook or something called yeah well and it's kind of neat to be able to look back at your year too and say like okay well did I did I improve?
56:06
SPEAKER_00: Did my score improve?
56:07
SPEAKER_00: I mean it looks like y'all go to a lot of competitions so you really can see the the process you know as you go through the year.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: But I just thought that was so awesome because I mean yeah and y'all all know you've been doing this long enough.
56:17
SPEAKER_00: It's complicated awards are confusing because they're all different everywhere the scoring system is different the rubric is different.
56:23
SPEAKER_00: They're calling it all kinds of ridiculous stuff.
56:25
SPEAKER_07: So the fact that you just you had it all laid out I was like oh he really gets it oh yeah and my wife uh shout out to my wife she has she prints out the program and she writes down all the adjudication scores for everyone and also another advanced woman Priscilla does that as well.
56:41
SPEAKER_07: And so I kind of get that from them of to verify the stuff and then I make sure on the online to make sure that I say the right award because I don't want to put fake information out there about what my child did.
56:51
SPEAKER_07: So I'm very thorough on that.
56:53
SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate and respect that so much because some people will just be like my kid got first and everyone's like but did they didn't they really get first so I love that you did the research and you're learning too and yes I agree Leslie some of these award ceremonies can be very confusing.
57:13
SPEAKER_03: And I Dwayne I loved I love the questions that you ask after your daughter gets off the stage you know like did you have fun?
57:19
SPEAKER_03: You know like that's this is the first year my oldest has done the solo and that my questions that I always ask her is did you have fun?
57:26
SPEAKER_03: How do you think you did?
57:27
SPEAKER_03: And then I'm like well how do you think your choreographer you your teacher that choreographed your solo how does he think you did and everything like that because one of the I don't know what competition it was but one of the things that really stood to me is that it's three people's impression at that point in time.
57:42
SPEAKER_03: Because we've been to competitions where one will do phenomenal and then the next competition it doesn't do so well.
57:47
SPEAKER_03: And so it's three people's impressions so to me I'm like how do you think you did how does the choreographer think that you did and were you able to tell that story for your dance and and and really you're only competing against yourself and are you going to continue to get better and that's the thing like you're not competing for a first overall you're not and that's my perspective and everything like you're not competing for a first overall did you have fun first and foremost.
58:11
SPEAKER_07: Right.
58:11
SPEAKER_07: And also I tell her like I that you know these three judges do not know who you are so why are you worrying about someone who doesn't know about your dance drive correct.
58:20
SPEAKER_07: So just one one one interaction is not going to oh I know all about Amaya know how she turns or how she leaps and things like that.
58:29
SPEAKER_07: So you know it's great that you know you do well if not as long as you have fun.
58:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah I'm so glad to hear that you guys have that perspective because you know I these these days currently this time of year is just like dance competition judge bashing season on the internet.
58:47
SPEAKER_00: And you know that's one of the main things that that we deal with as as professionals in the industry is is knowing like I know I don't know your children.
58:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm not in that studio every single day with them teaching them seeing their progress from week to week to year to year.
59:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm there for three minutes during their solo and I've watched 16 hours of dancing already.
59:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, so like we really have to take everything a judge says you know even the score with with with the knowledge that this is a this is one moment in time.
59:16
SPEAKER_00: This is one person's opinion this is one you know a plie is a plie and if you didn't plie before you did a grandité, that is a problem and that's a fact that I'm going to tell you.
59:24
SPEAKER_00: But the rest of it is is a lot of opinion, you know so I think that's really great that you have that perspective that you can ground your kids in that knowledge of you did well if you showed up and you feel better about what you did today than you did yesterday, you know?
59:38
SPEAKER_04: It's a great message.
59:39
SPEAKER_04: I was 100% on board with everything you said.
59:42
SPEAKER_01: Okay so to round out this episode, I'd love to hear if you have any favorite dance dad moments, those memories that you have made throughout the years since you've become a dance dad that you'd like to share with the world out there.
59:56
SPEAKER_01: Maybe it was a moment that you shared with your dancer or maybe it was winning first place at Nationals in the dance, dance dad dance, whatever it may be does anything come to mind as your favorite dance dad moment so far in your journey?
1:00:09
SPEAKER_04: There's so many that was my first thought too like how do you pick one?
1:00:14
SPEAKER_04: I've got all I mean you can't see with my camera but I've got a bunch of pictures from you know at my desk about all these different moments from dance.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_04: You know it's I guess I'll just get up and get this one just because it's relevant to the story.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_04: So this is one of uh my favorite pictures of my son.
1:00:32
SPEAKER_04: Nice beautiful this is at National in 2021 and I'll kind of explain the backstory for it.
1:00:40
SPEAKER_04: Um so in twenty twenty one this is like you know a year after I you know Met Jesse you know got super involved uh in his life and in dance and really started doing kind of all the prop stuff and becoming more involved more knowledgeable about about dance and r and and you know its impact on his life and things like that.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_04: So early in that season he started having quote unquote secret lessons in the middle of the day on Wednesday where like I was like where are you going?
1:01:11
SPEAKER_04: What's going on?
1:01:12
SPEAKER_04: And my wife eventually told me we're going to dance.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_04: He's got a private I was like Okay but he d he doesn't have any practice like what he doesn't have right like I know the schedule like and she was like no he does we're just going.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_04: Like don't worry about it.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_04: I was like Okay, that's weird and confusing but uh eventually it was like oh he's doing like a secret routine and I was like a sec why is it a secret?
1:01:37
SPEAKER_04: Like why why are you keeping a secret from me?
1:01:39
SPEAKER_04: Like I want like I'm involved like you know want to know the schedule all these different things.
1:01:42
SPEAKER_04: What do you need for this routine?
1:01:44
SPEAKER_04: All that stuff like you normally do, right?
1:01:46
SPEAKER_04: So we went to eat lunch or dinner at uh I believe Longhorn Steakhouse in Shelton one day during the middle of the season and my wife asked Jesse if he wanted to tell me and I was like tell me what and it was about the secret solo and I was like oh okay and so it turned out there there's this song that's called uh My Boy um by I believe LV Shane.
1:02:15
SPEAKER_04: I don't know if I'm saying that right but the song is kind of all about a stepson's relationship with a stepdad um which as you know from from what I've said so far is kind of like our thing.
1:02:27
SPEAKER_04: Like he's my son, but obviously like technically speaking he's my stepson.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_04: So he it turned out and he he revealed this to me that he had been working on the secret solo for me to that song.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_04: That when we listened to it it would come on in the car, I would cry, he would cry like it was a whole it was a whole thing.
1:02:49
SPEAKER_04: So he revealed that to me one day after after we we ate at Longhorn Steakhouse and actually I'll for show another picture because I have it this is the picture of when he told me.
1:03:00
SPEAKER_06: Oh that's so sweet.
1:03:02
SPEAKER_04: Outside it you can see the parking lot um it's you know about it and I was like just overwhelmed with uh feeling so I eventually got to go to the practices and and he showed me it when it was finished.
1:03:15
SPEAKER_04: And uh so this I'm sorry, this is gonna be a bit long winded, but I feel like all these parts are important to the story.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_04: So this one that I showed before our production for that year was revamped a little bit because we used a similar routine the year before and we had changed a bunch of different things for it.
1:03:32
SPEAKER_04: One of the things that they changed at one of the practices was they had about six kids line up and do this move in the front and it was called the gate and I was I told the studio director I'm like I love the gate like this is great.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_04: Like you know I told my wife like that's my favorite move like I love that.
1:03:49
SPEAKER_04: So when my wife went to the choreographer and said like you know we want to do you know Judge wants to do the solo for Kyle he was like this move has to be in the dance to make sure that it was in the dance.
1:04:01
SPEAKER_04: So he he put it in the dance and and like every time that that was just like even more of the water works flowing and you know and and that routine the first time that it went on stage was at nationals in 2021 and this was like building up for months and months and months.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_04: He worked so hard on this routine like I don't want to say he like ignored his other routines because he definitely didn't but he put a lot of extra work into this routine for me.
1:04:29
SPEAKER_04: And it at Nationals in 2021 it's first time it went on stage and it it won first place overall it was the best scoring routine you know here's actually I have all the pictures you can see.
1:04:42
SPEAKER_06: You really do it's amazing.
1:04:43
SPEAKER_04: I told you this is the picture of the banner from I don't want to I don't know if the horse I don't want to do the the competition itself but like that was the the the banner from from that routine that and he brought it back again the next year.
1:05:01
SPEAKER_04: And because he knows my favorite color is green, he changed the sh his shirt at Nashals to be a green shirt.
1:05:07
SPEAKER_04: Oh my gosh.
1:05:08
SPEAKER_04: And that weekend before like he was doing a different solo like the day before or whatever and like I had to get was getting some of the props ready and the shooter director was like oh why don't you guys like take a picture next to the stage here like Woo it's nationals and lo and behold the next day he does the routine and he comes out for live critiques and he brings out this picture frame of that picture from the two of us side stage at Nationals literally the day before and and the details.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_04: It you know it just really showed how much he cared about me and and how much he valued our relationship and that that was like the biggest like the biggest and best compliment you could ever get.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely as a parent I mean i it was the the the evolution of this routine and and the care that he put into it and the little you know different things that he did to kind of you know, just add that little extra it's like there was never a day that went by that I didn't cry seeing this routine.
1:06:05
SPEAKER_04: Like even, you know, I practiced in the studio, I'm freaking balling my eyes.
1:06:10
SPEAKER_04: You know, it it was uh it was uh you know it was sad to see that routine go, but we like I told you we have this like whole trophy thing and that I put together in his room and it's like the ballet shoes from that routine are there.
1:06:24
SPEAKER_04: Nice.
1:06:24
SPEAKER_04: You know, the the crown that he won at one of the competitions from that is there.
1:06:28
SPEAKER_04: Like all of the like that was just that's that was a long like evolution of it's not really a moment.
1:06:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but like a favorite memory.
1:06:38
SPEAKER_04: I mean that's and he will too yeah that's so special.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry to be so long with that.
1:06:44
SPEAKER_04: But like Dwayne said there was a there's a lot of different things that come to mind.
1:06:48
SPEAKER_01: Right.
1:06:48
SPEAKER_04: I mean when you talk about favorite moments but I I found it you know great that I had all the pictures that I needed to tell the story.
1:06:54
SPEAKER_04: Totally uh you know right in front of me.
1:06:56
SPEAKER_07: So I I uh thank you guys for for listening and yeah that was it I'm trying not to cry right now I'm trying to think narrow it down there's a lot of them so I'll do a cliff notes version of them so the short I think the first one was her first dance recital.
1:07:15
SPEAKER_07: We were trying my wife and I were trying to figure out what what activity she could do as when she was three and my wife's like let's just skin dance I was like sure whatever and so we were of course I was on the front row of the recital with my camera ready taking about eight million photos and she always do it all the time before her dancing.
1:07:35
SPEAKER_07: And she got on the stage and we were worried like oh my God she's gonna be one of those kids that just goes in the corner and just does her own thing she wanted like to stop or run off.
1:07:43
SPEAKER_07: But she stuck to the choreography she was awesome and it was just great because there's a part in the dance where the young ones were running a circle and so I could see her leadership ability coming she was grabbing her friends like come on let's go like get in formation get in formation get in formation and it was just funny and we were and she just she just she shined and it was I was like well I think we found her calling or we think we found out what she wants to do.
1:08:09
SPEAKER_07: And then the next year we were in recital and I think the Tiffany who nominated me I think she said when we saw her it was like she needs to go in a competition.
1:08:17
SPEAKER_07: And so the next year she did her little jump start and so that was one of the memories that always sticks out.
1:08:22
SPEAKER_07: And then the most recent one as you noted earlier about me taking all her her accolades each year it's like last dance season she had a great solo thank you Andrea Wood for choreographing things that showcases her um abilities she uh got four first places in regional um competitions and at nationals me and Shelly felt really bad because she was early in the morning it was like 146 people competing in her category and yeah it was a lot and so she performed and I I'm her hardest critique but I won't tell her that um because she's very sensitive and I'll say were you supposed to do that when you turned around I was like okay I was just checking and so we were people asking like how did she do I was like well I didn't think she did good at all it's like she didn't do her triple like she's supposed to shoot a double but she didn't do a triple and all this other things and when they announced she got third place overall we're like we're like what I was like huh and they're like I thought she said she was horrible.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_07: I was like well to me after I looked at she it was great but we're so used to her like she's very competitive and so she did really well at the smaller things you know just she kept it you know rather better to do a a great double than a heart a triple that you fall out of listen to this dance down dance dad knows dance dad knows what he's talking about.
1:09:45
SPEAKER_07: If dance dad knows everyone needs to know y'all and so if you do things clean it it's you know no matter aerials or illusions you do if you do a crap you know don't do it properly it takes points and so I think that was one of the memories and she's like dad's like and she's she's very emotional and so she'll cry she's like I just did horrible or I did good and she's like daddy these are happy tears these are happy I was like okay it's fine it's fine I know so those are my two memories that I have so sorry to those are great no please keep talking I love it.
1:10:20
SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
1:10:23
SPEAKER_03: I think your dancer sounds like my older dancer they very like you're this is the choreography teaching her kids or teaching toner dance friends at their first recital you know this is what you're supposed to be doing.
1:10:33
SPEAKER_03: So maybe they're they've got a connection and everything.
1:10:36
SPEAKER_03: So I will say there's three and I'll do them really quick and I'll do them chronological.
1:10:40
SPEAKER_03: I think one was with my youngest dancer who probably isn't like her older sister that can look at something and dance it 80 to 85% we was the minor cleaning that needs to get done.
1:10:51
SPEAKER_03: Say last year probably in December it was a uh I think there was a big turning point for her and I think there was a light that really clicked for her and being able to absorb the choreography, being able to dance it and be able to do it.
1:11:05
SPEAKER_03: And I think that that was a a big aha moment and just kind of a very proud dad moment.
1:11:10
SPEAKER_03: The other one was this year um at the start of the year I for the last probably three or four years I I really encouraged Avery my oldest to do a solo and she's like no I never want to do a solo blah blah blah whatever and this year she's like yeah I want to do it and watching her do her solo for the first time at a convention earlier in January like it almost brought tears to my eyes and I'm not an overly emotional person but she just really can tell the story and really owns the story and can really I I I think from a really I don't want to say act because I don't know if that's the right word, but really performs it right.
1:11:46
SPEAKER_03: And so that was really powerful.
1:11:48
SPEAKER_03: And I but the other one that I think probably might maybe get a little emotional was, you know, it's not just about the impact that I have on my kids but also the impact on the kids that I have around the studio and getting to know them and um getting to be kind of you know not their parents or not their dad and just be a good resource for them.
1:12:04
SPEAKER_03: But one of my youngest her a a girl that she dances with her dad suddenly had passed away.
1:12:10
SPEAKER_03: I mean I got to know him a a little bit last year because he was on the dads and dancers and completely a you know dance dad and and everything like that.
1:12:18
SPEAKER_03: And so got to get to know him really well, which was probably good English there.
1:12:22
SPEAKER_03: But you know having talked to her mom one of the first things she said is um after she found out her dad had passed away suddenly was well now I can't do the dads and dancers.
1:12:31
SPEAKER_03: So connecting with the studio director and everything like that.
1:12:33
SPEAKER_03: Well anyway so she had called me this is a 10 year old girl had called me and asked if she could dance with me and my youngest and I said absolutely you can dance with us.
1:12:42
SPEAKER_03: You will always be able to dance with us.
1:12:44
SPEAKER_03: And so to me that was just an affirming affirming moment for me that just the impact I'm not only hopefully having on my kids, but also on the other dancers that are in the studio and and that and kind of embrace my quirkiness and that really meant a lot for me both being able to see the impact that hopefully I'm having on my kids and then also on other dancers.
1:13:04
SPEAKER_00: Wow yeah I mean yeah I remember that from your submission as well and just woo yes that's that's a lot that's amazing.
1:13:13
SPEAKER_01: That is yeah I mean w way to step in and be there.
1:13:18
SPEAKER_01: And again like like we said I mean you were all nominated by different like different types of people for this opportunity because of what you're doing for your community for for what you're doing for to your studio.
1:13:33
SPEAKER_01: I think that everyone who's gonna listen to this is going to recognize how spectacular of dance dads you are but it's so apparent that you do so much more than just for your dancers, that you are really a part of that community, that you want to be a part of the studio atmosphere and and build the props and be there for the the fun moments and and hang out with the moms and whatever you like it just it really speaks like it's amazing what you're doing.
1:14:00
SPEAKER_01: I just have loved chatting with you all and hearing your stories and these memories it's just like my heart is so full.
1:14:08
SPEAKER_04: I will say you guys are pretty awesome.
1:14:10
SPEAKER_04: Yeah this is a great great group of great group of of of three guys here.
1:14:16
SPEAKER_04: It's uh yeah I wish we could talk forever on this has been a great conversation.
1:14:21
SPEAKER_04: I know I will say I was gonna say um like going to that like studio atmosphere like I I'd be shocked if there was a single competition dancer that did not know my name or whose dad I am or what I do or to go to me for X, Y, and Z.
1:14:35
SPEAKER_04: Like I talk to the kids all the time about you know other things I'm backstage all the time, like helping get people right like all of these things.
1:14:42
SPEAKER_04: And it it's it's really you know rewarding to to to not only have a kid who's like involved in this but then also have a studio where a great culture i is is set and it's expected and it it it's a great environment for the kids to grow up in.
1:15:01
SPEAKER_04: A lot of the kids stay there I mean stay there forever.
1:15:04
SPEAKER_04: I mean you know we don't get a lot of people that switch studios because it's it's it's really a great studio great environment to be a part of and and I'm really lucky that somehow I found my way you know into my son's life and and we actually my wife and I were both interns up here at the Capitol in twenty twenty.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_04: That's how we met.
1:15:24
SPEAKER_04: By some sheer luck.
1:15:26
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:15:26
SPEAKER_04: Uh so I'm I'm I count my lucky stars all the time because you know without doing that internship and and getting involved, you know, early on in conversations with my wife and and you know and we really let the relationship with Jesse evolve at its own pace, which I think was crucial in the strength of our relationship instead of you know you hear sometimes about folks like this is your new dad like just forcing it on them and it creates sort of an animosity.
1:15:52
SPEAKER_04: And I I appreciate that we talked a lot about kind of like wanted families on on uh on this talk like with with uh Jamie's co-parenting situation which like how to navigate that you know how you know my situation you know th there not everybody has you know a picture perfect situation and these are real issues that that you know we need to to address and learn how to navigate and and with this group of guys we've got the tools and the knowledge and the the skills to to navigate you know some of the challenges that that come with that and just you know go forward from there in a in a positive light in a great relationship with our kids.
1:16:31
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely yeah absolutely Jamie re mentioned before you know your version of a modern family I mean that's that's what we do.
1:16:38
SPEAKER_04: That's what we do you know with our kids.
1:16:40
SPEAKER_04: It's what we do with the studio.
1:16:41
SPEAKER_04: So I'm very grateful for that.
1:16:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:16:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful for all y'all and I'm just so happy that we did this episode and I'm so happy for everyone who nominated you and I I mean you three were spectacular guests and and so much fun to meet you and hear your stories and thank you for everything that you're doing for your dancers.
1:17:02
SPEAKER_01: I know that your dancers uh love and appreciate you your studios love and appreciate you and so do so many of the other dance parents at your studio and community.
1:17:12
SPEAKER_01: You really are setting the bar high for all these dance dads out there.
1:17:16
SPEAKER_01: I know it.
1:17:18
SPEAKER_01: Well this yes you're so welcome this was awesome I am I'm pumped for this episode to release and I would love for y'all to lead us out on this episode with one final bit of dance dad advice that you would like to give to the dance world out there.
1:17:35
SPEAKER_01: You can chat to whoever you'd like.
1:17:38
SPEAKER_03: I would say be curious, be present, be involved and don't be afraid to be silly.
1:17:45
SPEAKER_04: Love that yes it it helps sometimes to be silly.
1:17:48
SPEAKER_04: Just kind of go with the flow and just you know be quirky, be silly.
1:17:52
SPEAKER_04: It's you know part of the experience.
1:17:54
SPEAKER_04: I will just I'll I'll I on a similar line address this to to two other dance guys after it is if this is what your kid wants to do, be there for your kid.
1:18:04
SPEAKER_04: Be involved, be all in.
1:18:05
SPEAKER_04: You know they'll want to be all in with you too.
1:18:08
SPEAKER_04: It and it'll lead to a lot of growth in a lot of different areas for them, for you, for your relationship for the studio as a whole, for your your kid your kid in all of the areas, school, other sports, their relationships with their friends you know it i it's this is a really great environment to be a part of in general.
1:18:28
SPEAKER_04: It's the dance dad society as I feel like I said more than once now and I feel very strongly that you know more dads should should want to be involved and and should be involved.
1:18:40
SPEAKER_04: You know, there's different levels that people are able to to be involved, you know, if people are are working nights or evenings or or you know if they aren't able to be there at certain times it it's not an excuse to not be present at all.
1:18:54
SPEAKER_04: Have those conversations with your kids.
1:18:57
SPEAKER_04: What are you struggling with?
1:18:58
SPEAKER_04: What are you working on?
1:18:59
SPEAKER_04: Let me make sure I've got your schedule straight.
1:19:01
SPEAKER_04: Do you have all of your shoes ready?
1:19:02
SPEAKER_04: Do you have your bag ready for classes?
1:19:04
SPEAKER_04: You know establish an expectation that you'll be there and you'll find that they'll be so much more secure i and and feel so and feel much safer and loved and just that relationship will be so much stronger.
1:19:19
SPEAKER_04: And this goes you know mostly for dance but beyond dance as well.
1:19:23
SPEAKER_04: If it's baseball, the same thing appli I mean, you know, whatever it is you know whether you have a daughter or a son or or whatever or whoever you know it doesn't matter.
1:19:33
SPEAKER_04: You know, at the end of the day you're a parent and you you you want to help foster your child's growth through whatever you know extracurricular activity that is through school, through their relationships with other people, you know, through the habits and and the kindness and the the empathy that they've developed over time.
1:19:49
SPEAKER_04: So just just be there in whatever way you can is would be my to kind of sum it up my base of advice.
1:19:56
SPEAKER_07: And I would add just everyone else is just be present.
1:20:00
SPEAKER_07: Know that your child loves this dance or whatever activity she does and you should love it too.
1:20:07
SPEAKER_07: I you know that's why I'm at the dance studio hanging out with other moms talking seeing seeing her progress practicing from group dances to sellos to geos or trios or whatever she's doing.
1:20:18
SPEAKER_07: Uh just making sure that you talk to her about it talk to your child about how their day was how danced what are some things you're having trouble with how you how are you working on your aerial is it good or is it bad or whatever and just em embrace it you know and I I I get on my child a lot about practicing.
1:20:38
SPEAKER_07: She practices a lot but sometimes she practices too much.
1:20:41
SPEAKER_07: Like I'm trying to go to sleep um and I hear boom boom boom boom and I'm like what is she doing?
1:20:49
SPEAKER_07: And I was like well I'm just practicing you know I was like well practice some other time um and I hate saying that but I mean she she's very she's a she's a perfectionist like me and I told her nothing is perfect nothing is perfect and just you know and just embrace it.
1:21:05
SPEAKER_07: It's funny like at a natural we can work at a concession stand to have money donated to pay for dance.
1:21:12
SPEAKER_07: And so a lot of the dance moms and dads we work together like you know we as we say slinging popcorn to help pay for her child's dance.
1:21:22
SPEAKER_07: And just and she knows that we do it and she embraces it and she knows that I care and she knows her mom cares.
1:21:27
SPEAKER_07: We're always present.
1:21:28
SPEAKER_07: We never try to miss anything.
1:21:29
SPEAKER_07: So just having them know the confidence that you're there and they can actually see you is important.
1:21:35
SPEAKER_07: Because I'm I'm a very tall individual I'm six eight so it's kind of hard to miss me.
1:21:40
SPEAKER_07: Wow yes so I thought I would tell her six five wow she so she knows I'm there and she can hear my voice before she goes on like go ahead baby girl do it you know do I Maya whatever and so she and she got mad at us this past week and she goes you weren't caring for us.
1:21:57
SPEAKER_07: You weren't caring for me.
1:21:58
SPEAKER_07: I didn't hear you and I was like we weren't caring for you staying here if you were in the zone they hear us