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One of Lala’s Biggest Regrets · Untraditionally Lala

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous.
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Speaker 2: It's La La Kent.
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Speaker 3: Welcome to Untraditionally Lala. Hello, baby, gorgeous La lacent here,
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Speaker 3: Welcome to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala. I still
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Speaker 3: have teat here, which thrills me. We wrote in on
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Speaker 3: the Untraditionally Laala Instagram page and said what would you
0:20
Speaker 3: guys like to talk about on the bonus episode? And
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Speaker 3: we had a plethora of emails come in, which I'm
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Speaker 3: very very thankful for. I appreciate your listenership and you
0:29
Speaker 3: guys just being a part of the pod in every way.
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Speaker 3: We got this email and I'm going to have Easton
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Speaker 3: read it, and let's let's I haven't seen this.
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Speaker 4: Can you discuss navigating frustration in public? One of the
0:43
Speaker 4: moments that made me connect with you was when you
0:45
Speaker 4: openly shared that your book didn't make the New York
0:48
Speaker 4: Times bestseller list, especially after having such high expectations for it.
0:53
Speaker 4: I felt like a very honest and vulnerable moment. I'd
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Speaker 4: love to hear your reflect on that now with some
1:00
Speaker 4: distance from it. How do you handle frustration in such
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Speaker 4: a competitive environment where success is constantly measured through matrix
1:09
Speaker 4: and lists. Metrics and lists and looking back, are you
1:13
Speaker 4: able to see that simply publishing a book is already
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Speaker 4: a huge achievement. Did the disappointment of not making the
1:20
Speaker 4: list overshadow that accomplishment at the time. I'd also be
1:25
Speaker 4: curious to know if the Lalla of today still recognizes
1:28
Speaker 4: herself in the pages of that book. What do you
1:32
Speaker 4: think a new book from you would look like today?
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Speaker 4: And would you ever consider writing another one? I really
1:39
Speaker 4: really really liked that question.
1:40
Speaker 2: Love this question. Wow, just wonderful question.
1:44
Speaker 4: Ship back and just let you let me know if
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Speaker 4: you want me to read any points on it.
1:48
Speaker 1: But first, the first portion was I really did pour
1:55
Speaker 1: my heart and soul into that book, and I think
1:58
Speaker 1: anytime someone writes a book, the hope is that you
2:02
Speaker 1: make the New York Times bestseller list. The timing for
2:05
Speaker 1: that book was so wild because we started writing it,
2:10
Speaker 1: I want to say, everything came to fruition in probably
2:14
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, and.
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Speaker 2: I knew what I wanted it to be about.
2:22
Speaker 1: I knew I didn't want it to be a memoir
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Speaker 1: because I was still very young and had so much
2:26
Speaker 1: life to live. I wanted it to be a book
2:27
Speaker 1: of stories that kind of shaped who I was at
2:32
Speaker 1: that point in time.
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Speaker 2: I also did not want it.
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Speaker 1: To be a book about I didn't want it to
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Speaker 1: be a tell all. I wanted it to be uplifting.
2:43
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about me and my experiences and
2:48
Speaker 1: my perspective. I didn't want to shade anybody, because we
2:53
Speaker 1: all have different perspectives in life. So it was the
2:57
Speaker 1: goal was, let's tell stories from my point of view
3:01
Speaker 1: because it's my book, but make it very uplifting and
3:05
Speaker 1: round it out on why I am the way I
3:08
Speaker 1: am and where I am today. You have to also
3:10
Speaker 1: remember I had come very far when it came to
3:14
Speaker 1: vander Pump Rules.
3:15
Speaker 2: I was the girl who took her top off. I
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Speaker 2: was the home wrecking whore.
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Speaker 1: And then I had finally found quote unquote love and
3:20
Speaker 1: my person and I wanted to celebrate that through the
3:23
Speaker 1: pages of this book. I wasn't even pregnant yet when
3:29
Speaker 1: I was writing this book, so that shows how long
3:33
Speaker 1: the process was. By the time the book came out,
3:37
Speaker 1: we were in COVID. I could not do one single
3:41
Speaker 1: book tour, no city, no state. Everything was via zoom
3:45
Speaker 1: and social media. I was now a mother, so the
3:50
Speaker 1: book was it was like it felt like a different lifetime.
3:54
Speaker 1: I'm like, my entire life has changed since I wrote
3:56
Speaker 1: this book, and when I got the call that it
4:00
Speaker 1: didn't make the New York Times Bestseller list. Of course,
4:05
Speaker 1: in that moment when you're in.
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Speaker 2: It, I was upset.
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Speaker 1: Of course, I was hoping that that outcome would have
4:15
Speaker 1: been different. However, I usually sit and spiral on things.
4:21
Speaker 1: I did not spiral on it. I did not spiral
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Speaker 1: on it. My book did make other lists, which of
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Speaker 1: course are not as prestigious as the New York Times
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Speaker 1: Bestseller List, and there's no.
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Speaker 2: Shade to that list.
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Speaker 1: But now looking at that list, to me, it feels
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Speaker 1: harder to not make the list than to make it.
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Speaker 1: I feel as I look at the list, I'm like, wow,
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Speaker 1: it's actually a pretty big accomplishment that I didn't make it.
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Speaker 4: It's always like, hey, in this book didn't make it,
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Speaker 4: so it's worth reading.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, watch, I'll write another book in the
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Speaker 1: New York Times.
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Speaker 5: And it'll make it.
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Speaker 1: Don't read it, they'll And I'm like, you snubbed me
5:01
Speaker 1: before a big fucking deal.
5:05
Speaker 2: I did talk to.
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Speaker 1: My mom a lot in that moment, and she tends
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Speaker 1: to bring me back to reality and ground me about
5:13
Speaker 1: what a huge accomplishment that was.
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Speaker 2: And it's no secret that I'm not a writer.
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Speaker 1: I like to write, but I did have someone there
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Speaker 1: helping me put it together.
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Speaker 2: People call that a ghostwriter. We can call it that.
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Speaker 1: There were times where I would send her back. I
5:31
Speaker 1: remember staying in bed again it was COVID for like
5:35
Speaker 1: eight hours. She would send me a new chapter and
5:38
Speaker 1: I would rewrite everything and she'd be like, what are
5:41
Speaker 1: you doing And I'm like, it doesn't sound like me.
5:44
Speaker 1: And she would say, well, your version was not grammatically correct,
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Speaker 1: and I would say, but that's how I talk.
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Speaker 2: So there. I understand that it needs to be written
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Speaker 2: a certain.
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Speaker 1: Way, but it also has to feel true to me
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Speaker 1: and how I speak.
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Speaker 5: Yes and that, yes, I agree with that.
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Speaker 4: And they don't think that's why people can connect with it.
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Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. It had an outpour of like
6:08
Speaker 1: tremendous support. I mean, we covered the death of my
6:10
Speaker 1: dad's sobriety, relationships gone wrong, plug your ears. The abortion
6:17
Speaker 1: that I had when I was very young was someone
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Speaker 1: who I who I really liked a lot.
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Speaker 5: But was it poal? Was it beep?
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Speaker 2: No?
6:25
Speaker 5: It was the fuck wad oh fuck him?
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Speaker 1: Was a guess man, oh Dick John Yeah, who came
6:32
Speaker 1: into my life later on again proven that with time
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Speaker 1: and age you actually became a bigger piece of shit.
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Speaker 5: I was just about to say wow.
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Speaker 1: Again another reason. At the time, I was like, how poetic.
6:47
Speaker 1: He's like, come back into my life and we've.
6:48
Speaker 2: Like it all the sadness. It was meant to be.
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Speaker 1: This is gonna be our story. And then I was
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Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, you're horrendous. You're a real
6:57
Speaker 1: piece of shit. You're like no better than the honestly,
7:01
Speaker 1: And that's when I was like, we're done. You're attracting
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Speaker 1: men who are so horrendous. This is a you problem
7:08
Speaker 1: at this point.
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Speaker 4: I'm glad that you can notice that, though, because when
7:11
Speaker 4: I'm talking to people and they're like I talked to
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Speaker 4: like eight guys and they're all crazy.
7:14
Speaker 5: It's like, maybe it's true. At this point, No.
7:16
Speaker 1: Easton, you know, I took a moment because I was like,
7:21
Speaker 1: they're not my problem. I am my problem. I am
7:25
Speaker 1: attracting really bad dudes, which is why I said, when
7:28
Speaker 1: people are like, you're going on five years single, I'm
7:30
Speaker 1: like a lot of that has been because I have
7:35
Speaker 1: not been attracting good.
7:37
Speaker 5: Dudes, no good. That's one thing, just to interrupt.
7:41
Speaker 4: I there's nothing more dangerous than somebody who goes from
7:44
Speaker 4: a relationship to relationship.
7:45
Speaker 5: In my opinion, I need two three years.
7:49
Speaker 2: I agree with you.
7:50
Speaker 1: I think being able to back away from a relationship
7:53
Speaker 1: and say I'm not dating. I'm going to take this
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Speaker 1: time to be alone and become okay with it and
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Speaker 1: again become one hundred percent so that I can go
8:00
Speaker 1: out and find a person who's one hundred percent to
8:03
Speaker 1: complete my two hundred.
8:05
Speaker 2: But with that book, and you guys are going to.
8:08
Speaker 1: Think that this is it was so meant to be,
8:14
Speaker 1: that it came out during COVID and didn't get the
8:19
Speaker 1: pop that maybe at the time I felt it deserved.
8:23
Speaker 1: I am thrilled that it did not make the New
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Speaker 1: York Times bestseller list. And I know people are going
8:30
Speaker 1: to be like, you're crazy. You're just saying that. I
8:33
Speaker 1: truly am grateful. And here's why. In the pages of
8:39
Speaker 1: that book, I pay a lot of love and respect
8:43
Speaker 1: to he whose name we shall not name. Even in
8:47
Speaker 1: the dedication page, he is the final name. And I
8:52
Speaker 1: remember it perfectly.
8:54
Speaker 2: It says to blank, we made it. Baby.
9:01
Speaker 1: When I think about the Give Them La La book,
9:04
Speaker 1: although there were so many other stories involved that are
9:08
Speaker 1: truthful and from my heart and what shaped me into
9:11
Speaker 1: who I am. The book was a dedication to a
9:16
Speaker 1: person who ended up being the complete opposite of who
9:21
Speaker 1: I thought he was.
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Speaker 2: I was so thrilled.
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Speaker 1: It just made so much sense the universe, and I
9:28
Speaker 1: could be saying this to make myself feel better. It
9:30
Speaker 1: was like it didn't get what it deserved because I
9:34
Speaker 1: truly believe the way he thinks he would have taken.
9:37
Speaker 2: Credit for that.
9:40
Speaker 5: I can agree with that just because I know him
9:42
Speaker 5: the person well enough.
9:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know people like that, Yeah, well they exist,
9:49
Speaker 1: they are among us. Be careful, watch out, Yes, keep
9:52
Speaker 1: your eyes and ears open. So at the time, yes,
9:56
Speaker 1: I was like heartbroken about it. It didn't it didn't
10:00
Speaker 1: last long. I was able to move on from it
10:02
Speaker 1: pretty quickly. Looking back, I'm so happy that it didn't
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Speaker 1: get I'm so happy that it didn't get the recognition
10:13
Speaker 1: that I wanted it to get. At the time, I
10:15
Speaker 1: just I look back at that book and this sounds
10:18
Speaker 1: so awful. I am so proud of what I did,
10:22
Speaker 1: and I've never looked better by the way that cover
10:24
Speaker 1: was so amazing. They sent me the images and I
10:26
Speaker 1: was like, I love this picture, but what I want
10:29
Speaker 1: you to do is match my nose. I said, I
10:33
Speaker 1: want you to replicate what my right nostril looks like
10:38
Speaker 1: on the left side as well, because there was just
10:40
Speaker 1: a tiny little shadow.
10:42
Speaker 2: So it's definitely like severely edited.
10:45
Speaker 5: But loved it.
10:47
Speaker 1: And I was three months pregnant on the cover in
10:49
Speaker 1: fucking LATEX, I freaking slayed a Bob.
10:52
Speaker 2: I was like, you better go because I'm like, who
10:55
Speaker 2: is this?
10:57
Speaker 4: Is that me?
10:59
Speaker 2: Damn, I don't care how.
11:01
Speaker 1: Much editing you did as long as I can claim it.
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Speaker 1: I mean, it says my name on it, so I'm
11:05
Speaker 1: claiming it that to me. But I look back now
11:09
Speaker 1: on that book and I've slowly started to pull back
11:14
Speaker 1: on the emotions I feel. But for a very long
11:16
Speaker 1: time I couldn't even look at it. I told Mom
11:20
Speaker 1: get rid of every single copy. I don't want one
11:23
Speaker 1: single fucking copy, and luckily she kept a few behind
11:26
Speaker 1: my back. But it left such a yucky taste in
11:28
Speaker 1: my mouth because again, even though there were so many
11:31
Speaker 1: stories in that book that they were factual, it was
11:35
Speaker 1: my life when it came to a significant part in
11:39
Speaker 1: the book, which is the stories that led me to
11:41
Speaker 1: my quote unquote person. It felt like a lie. I
11:47
Speaker 1: was like the pages of this book.
11:50
Speaker 2: I'm angry at it.
11:53
Speaker 1: I'm angry that I wrote about this fucking person in
11:58
Speaker 1: my story.
12:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, does that make any sense?
12:03
Speaker 6: No?
12:04
Speaker 4: And I think everything that you're just saying is why
12:07
Speaker 4: you're happy it didn't make the New York Times bestseller because.
12:09
Speaker 5: I credit wouldn't feel like yours here.
12:12
Speaker 2: No, and yes, we're like.
12:15
Speaker 1: I was looking back and seeing moving out of that
12:21
Speaker 1: apartment into this house and having, you know, the the
12:24
Speaker 1: thing that mom had with all the books in there,
12:27
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't want these. I fucking
12:30
Speaker 1: am so angry at this book.
12:32
Speaker 2: And I'm so glad.
12:34
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I didn't travel around the fucking country
12:37
Speaker 1: talking about it. I'm so fucking happy that I didn't
12:41
Speaker 1: sit there and have it make of a freaking list.
12:46
Speaker 2: It's a man's name in it.
12:48
Speaker 1: Are you never make a fucking list?
12:52
Speaker 4: You will never make a fucking list? Are you on
12:54
Speaker 4: to rock in a hard spot of like? Are you
12:56
Speaker 4: happy you wrote it? But not in a sense happy
13:00
Speaker 4: about the time.
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Speaker 1: I'm indifferent about it now? Yes, I have no feeling
13:03
Speaker 1: about that. Okay, no feeling except I look slamming on
13:07
Speaker 1: the cover.
13:08
Speaker 5: I think it helped a lot of people out.
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Speaker 1: No matter where you were saying this, I don't want
13:13
Speaker 1: it to come across that.
13:14
Speaker 4: No, what I want I'm going to interrupt you, and
13:16
Speaker 4: all I can say is was back then, Yes, Now
13:19
Speaker 4: there we go.
13:20
Speaker 5: I'm just about to say it.
13:21
Speaker 1: Back and I go. I wrote a fucking book, and
13:24
Speaker 1: I put my heart and soul into it.
13:27
Speaker 4: I think a lot of people would be I think
13:30
Speaker 4: a lot of people are ready for another book of
13:33
Speaker 4: you two almost not that you're ready to do it,
13:36
Speaker 4: but I think a lot of people to write another book.
13:38
Speaker 4: I think a lot of people, and me being one
13:40
Speaker 4: of them. I didn't read your last book, and I'm
13:42
Speaker 4: not going to, but seeing because you've talked about so much,
13:47
Speaker 4: I feel like i've read it, seeing that person in
13:52
Speaker 4: that book and living with that person while in that book,
13:56
Speaker 4: to see where you are now. I think a lot
13:58
Speaker 4: of people are excited to see what you will write next.
14:01
Speaker 5: And I know you will write something. Give it time.
14:03
Speaker 4: I know, maybe not now, but I think the next
14:05
Speaker 4: book that you will write, whether it makes a New
14:07
Speaker 4: York Times bestseller or not care about that. I think
14:10
Speaker 4: that I've moved past it. It's going to be an
14:12
Speaker 4: amazing book just to see. Also, because it's helped so
14:15
Speaker 4: many people. I think Where you Are now that book
14:19
Speaker 4: is going to be the chapter two of how I
14:22
Speaker 4: can now leave that book behind right and start my
14:26
Speaker 4: next Yeah, because I feel like you a lot. I'm
14:29
Speaker 4: I'm a book reader. I read like atomic habits, I
14:31
Speaker 4: read self help books, and I and Yours is a
14:35
Speaker 4: self help book for a lot of women. And I
14:37
Speaker 4: want you to know that your next one, I do
14:40
Speaker 4: believe it will be a New York Times bestseller, just
14:43
Speaker 4: because I just you have a lot to write about
14:46
Speaker 4: and a lot to say.
14:46
Speaker 5: And I don't think a lot of people know how
14:48
Speaker 5: far you've come.
14:49
Speaker 4: Yes, they can see it, but they haven't seen behind
14:51
Speaker 4: the curtain of what you've done that the book gets
14:53
Speaker 4: to show. And I think that you would be doing
14:56
Speaker 4: yourself and a lot of people a disservice by not
14:58
Speaker 4: doing another book of Where you Are.
15:12
Speaker 2: I love what you just said.
15:14
Speaker 1: The first portion of that is when I was approached
15:19
Speaker 1: to write another book for my I just didn't feel
15:23
Speaker 1: like the story was complete. I need I will know
15:28
Speaker 1: when the timing is right to do that. Yes, when
15:30
Speaker 1: it comes to the New York Times bestseller list or
15:35
Speaker 1: what they wrote in saying like, is it hard when
15:39
Speaker 1: everything is judged off of metrics and lists? I think
15:47
Speaker 1: it used to be, and I think there was a
15:51
Speaker 1: point in time where I was struggling with with emotions
15:58
Speaker 1: that I had never felt before. And this was a
16:01
Speaker 1: few years ago, where there was there was jealousy, there
16:06
Speaker 1: was anger, there was sadness, there was shame, and I
16:11
Speaker 1: had to take a moment to retreat and really hone
16:15
Speaker 1: in on what makes me happy, what keeps me ticking?
16:21
Speaker 1: If everything is gone tomorrow the shit right? What do
16:26
Speaker 1: you want your life to look like? And here we
16:30
Speaker 1: are four, I mean there were a lot of I mean,
16:35
Speaker 1: I'm five years into being out of my relationship where
16:39
Speaker 1: I think three years out of the final season of
16:41
Speaker 1: vander Pump Rules, and it was just a lot of
16:44
Speaker 1: emotions that had piled on, and I thought, if we
16:46
Speaker 1: continue to feed into these emotions, we're going to be
16:50
Speaker 1: in a really fucking bad place. I took time to
16:55
Speaker 1: do all of those things and figure out what makes
16:57
Speaker 1: me truly happy and truly tick so that I don't
17:01
Speaker 1: give a shit about lists or an award that what
17:07
Speaker 1: I do is good enough because I fucking did it.
17:11
Speaker 1: I don't need someone else to give me a silver
17:14
Speaker 1: star to make me feel like it was worth my time.
17:18
Speaker 4: One person reaching out, I was saying, they helped you
17:20
Speaker 4: is worth more than a fucking New York Times bestseller.
17:23
Speaker 1: To me, I fully agree the amount of people, but
17:27
Speaker 1: I had to focus on that Euston.
17:29
Speaker 5: Yeah.
17:30
Speaker 1: There were times where I would cry to Mom and
17:32
Speaker 1: I would just be seizing, and it was like, what
17:35
Speaker 1: is this? Why am I feeling this way? Why am
17:37
Speaker 1: I taking things as a personal attack because they're not
17:41
Speaker 1: acknowledging what I've done and been through.
17:44
Speaker 2: And it's like, you don't need that, you.
17:46
Speaker 1: Don't What is that going to give you a moment
17:48
Speaker 1: of like a little pat on the back, and then
17:50
Speaker 1: it's going to dissipate and you're gonna feel the same
17:52
Speaker 1: way until someone else comes in and gives you another
17:54
Speaker 1: pad on the back.
17:56
Speaker 2: High high low lows. I was addicted to that feeling
17:59
Speaker 2: no more. Yeah, I'm telling me, finally gotten over it.
18:03
Speaker 4: I stick by that, and I know it sounds weird.
18:05
Speaker 4: Don't let people know when you're high, so you don't
18:07
Speaker 4: have to let them know when you're down.
18:09
Speaker 1: No, but you know what, I can handle it all. No,
18:11
Speaker 1: Like I'm good, and it is enough for me to
18:14
Speaker 1: get a message like that, someone reaching out saying you
18:18
Speaker 1: helped me get sober. I've reached my ninety days. Those
18:22
Speaker 1: are my flowers that I get on a regular basis,
18:25
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry, But the moment that I look at
18:28
Speaker 1: that and feel nothing, but I feel something over making
18:30
Speaker 1: a fucking list.
18:32
Speaker 5: You've lost You've lost yourself.
18:34
Speaker 2: Every single part of you, myself.
18:36
Speaker 4: Because I don't Yeah, I mean, I'm not somebody who's
18:40
Speaker 4: been on that or anything like that. And it's easy
18:42
Speaker 4: for me to be like I don't care if I
18:43
Speaker 4: am or not, but like, deep down, i'm very I
18:49
Speaker 4: like close connections. Whether I release a book, if somebody
18:52
Speaker 4: came up to me and was like, thank you for
18:54
Speaker 4: doing this, I don't care if I made any list.
18:56
Speaker 4: The fact that people can come up to me and
18:58
Speaker 4: do that, that's enough.
18:59
Speaker 2: That's enough.
19:00
Speaker 4: Like when you when we're at lunch or dinner and
19:02
Speaker 4: somebody walks up to you that is our you know,
19:05
Speaker 4: waitress or waiter, and they're like, hey, I just need
19:07
Speaker 4: to let you know that like you started me on
19:10
Speaker 4: my sobriety. I have a year for you to be
19:12
Speaker 4: like that, to be honest, like I don't even know
19:15
Speaker 4: how you feel, because that would be unreal for you
19:18
Speaker 4: to get somebody sober like that, Like I could cry, like, No,
19:23
Speaker 4: I don't think that you're better that I fucked this
19:26
Speaker 4: family up when I was dreaking.
19:29
Speaker 5: Just lie.
19:30
Speaker 7: You've made them better around their families, Like Dad's what
19:33
Speaker 7: you don't understand. So when it comes down to like
19:37
Speaker 7: fuck a title, fuck anything, like when these people come
19:40
Speaker 7: up like you bettered them in their situation around them
19:44
Speaker 7: and that's beautiful, and that's something that I don't think you.
19:47
Speaker 5: Really understand, and it's beautiful. I love you. But no,
19:51
Speaker 5: you help a lot of people out, and that's where
19:53
Speaker 5: I'm saying you.
19:54
Speaker 4: It's a disservice not to put another book out, whether
19:57
Speaker 4: that be five years, three years, ten years, but you
20:00
Speaker 4: should because a lot of people enjoy it.
20:02
Speaker 2: I love it so much.
20:03
Speaker 5: I love you.
20:04
Speaker 2: What a beautiful way to end this bonus episode. Thank
20:07
Speaker 2: you for writing in. That was a spectacular question.
20:10
Speaker 1: I actually this was one of my most favorite episodes
20:12
Speaker 1: that we've done.
20:13
Speaker 5: Yes, So thank you from Augustine.
20:16
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you Augustine.
20:17
Speaker 1: That was like one of the best questions I think
20:19
Speaker 1: I've ever heard.
20:21
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, great questions, like a lot of debt to
20:25
Speaker 5: me that.
20:26
Speaker 4: It was like four paragraphs with like very in depth
20:29
Speaker 4: questions on each paragraph.
20:32
Speaker 5: Amazing.
20:32
Speaker 1: So I want to say thank you to everybody who
20:35
Speaker 1: tunes into this podcast. You guys are a part of
20:38
Speaker 1: the fam, a part of the pod.
20:40
Speaker 2: You're amazing.
20:41
Speaker 1: I hope you have the best week, the best day.
20:43
Speaker 1: Go out there and be kind to each other. I'm
20:45
Speaker 1: going to catch you on Wednesday for another episode of
20:47
Speaker 1: Untraditionally La La, and again next week for our regular
20:50
Speaker 1: old bonus.
20:51
Speaker 6: Love you, bye bye.
21:00
Speaker 1: S