Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #120 While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Play

Transcript

#120 While The Cat's Away, The Mice Will Play · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What do your feet look like, Shami? Yeah, no, I
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: need to see them.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: You've often how much.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Money you've made?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: That fucking pinky toe? Who is paying for that thing
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: that's hanging on for dear life?
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: What is that? What is that? Guilty? Guilty?
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: I did make some money on a certain platform with
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: my feet.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: How fard you go up? Was it just feet?
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Feet? And Dick? Welcome back to two doting dads. But
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: it's with a difference today it's with a doting mum.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: You interrupt me already.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: It's with a doting mum usually looking at Matt, but
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: now I've got the pleasure of looking at Matt's wife
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: and arguably the better parent, Laura Burn.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Thank you for joining us.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Definitely not the better parent.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: That will be the judge that I.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Have been solo parenting for one week now and everything
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: surprisingly has been going okay. But I have some very
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: big choose to fill and I need to admit because
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I feel like I should have done my research and
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: listened to some recent episodes just to.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Get into the listen to it Keavin for a little bit.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, let me finish the intro then, thank you. I
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: don't know what stories Matt shared or whether I'm going
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: to be telling the truth.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: We'll find out.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: This is a parenting podcast, the good, the bad, and
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: the relatable, and we do not give any advice real
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: advice unless you want to take it anyway.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: Lauria doesn't listen to us. I've just found out. So
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: that's a good start.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: I just have been so busy parenting this week that
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: haven't been out to listen as regularly as I would.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: I'm not used to running the episode, and Matt usually
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: runs the episode, so please.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Bear with me.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Wow, this is Ash feeling completely out of his depth
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: right now? Do you feel confident? Do you feel comfortable?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: How are you coping with my husband being away?
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Look, I'm struggling. It's only been at three minutes, but
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: have you had.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: This is not about me, This is about you.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Okay, So Matt as I'm sure you guys are all
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: aware he's now in the I'm a celebrity jungle. By
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: the time you're listening to this, it would have been
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: on TV right there would have been a couple of episodes.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you potentially have played out.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: You should have been like four days in or three days.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: What did Matt update you guys on before him going away,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: did he tell you about how that went with the
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: kids and what this period for us has been like.
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so he gave us an idea just how chaotic
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: it was in trying to get loose ends tied up.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Matt told I mean, he kind of left
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: it really late. He told the girls that he was
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: going away to do the show, but he didn't really
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: think through the logistics of that. So firstly, he told
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: both the girls specifically that he was going to Africa
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: and he was going on a TV show called I'm
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: As a five year old knows where Africa is.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: The problem.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: The thing is she does what she doesn't realize is
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: what ndeser.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: So Marley.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Had been going to day it. Marley had been going
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: to vacation care and telling every single person.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: My dad's going on I'm a Celebrity, get me out
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: of here, and he's going to Africa.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: So we rocked up to pick Molley up from school
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: and this was like a week before he left, and
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the teachers.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Were like, good luck.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: On the show, everyone knew, so I know it was
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: meant to be embargoed, but if you live in Bondai,
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: three quarters of Marley, it's Marley May And he also
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: told Lola, and because Lola actually like kind of hates
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Matt and doesn't really care if he's there or not.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Unfortunately he's great dad, but he.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: He's not Lola's favorite.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's yeah. We've we did a period a whole
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: year on that. Yeah.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: So he broke it to her that he was going away,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: and her reaction to.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: That was girl's Day and it broke his goddamn heart.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Oh, I bet because he's worked so hard at the
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: last twelve months of try and it's kind of pathetic
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: how hard you work, because he was like just trying
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: to win her over, and every and every time he
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: won her.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Over last year, you'd come back into the room or I.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: Think you were away for a little while there, and
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: it was Matt and the girls, and he was like,
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: she's got no one else, so she's stuck with me.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: So hopefully by the time that Laura gets back, not
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: forgotten about Laura.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: But I have evened it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: Up a little bit so that I am a parent,
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: yeah straight away apparently.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Almost almost, but she no to be fair, she goes
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: through these periods where she how do I describe it,
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: It's like.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Nah, nah, actually take it back now. She always just
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: wants me more.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: She's she's a manipulator. I've noticed she.
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: Manipulates him, I know, but they're good at it. Macy's
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: also does the same thing. But one thing that stuck
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: out for me was he was like I had won
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: her over, like we're vibing, it was all good, and.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Then he said, I, he's your own daughter.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: And he turned around too quick ones and she was
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: behind him and knocked her over.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: And that.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Is the unraveling.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: And that's how quick it can unravel her.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: I've told Matt, I've tried to give him advice on this,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: because it is a real thing. It's called parental preference, right,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: when a child prefers one parent.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Over the other.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Is a real thing. Yeah, again, usually kind of a
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: parenting podcast. I don't know that.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Usually kids grow out of it at three.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Lola is almost four and showing absolutely no signs of
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: growing out of it anytime soon. But I like lovingly
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: tried to explain to Matt that I just think, like
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I think Lola smells it on him.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I think he rereaks of desperation.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: We've said that. I said, I can smell it on
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: you from.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Here, mate, and she reminds me of me.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: But when I was like twenty years old, like I
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: never wanted to be around the nice guys, and he's
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: so nice to her.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, you just need to be a little
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: bit more sassy.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Again.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Exactly right.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: She's taken all my toxic traits from my early dating years.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: That's what this is.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: But I think, look, six weeks of her having potentially,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: if he does well, thing has crossed everyone vote. Six
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: weeks of him being away, I feel as though either
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: it's gonna be it's gonna be like the real antithesis
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: of that, it's gonna be a real issue, or.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be the opposite.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Because the other night at dinner time, like she had
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: no one else to fight with, so I was trying
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: to get her fed and it was a whole debacle
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: and it ended in her storming up the stairs and screaming,
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: I want why Dad. I was like, fuck, if only
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: was here to feel that, or he is so happy.
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I know, and no one was, like, no one was
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: there to fight with her, So she was like, fuck,
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: no one if that's a kryptonite.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Did Matt tell you before he went away that he
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: has a leg secret sign on the show for the girls? No, So,
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I mean it's gonna be hard for him. He's been
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: acting very much like in the last couple of weeks
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: that he's been pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, and
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: then when it came actually to crunch time and him
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: going away, he got really emotional and he had this
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: station with the girls.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: He had a big cry.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: He's going to cry. Okay, here's my prediction. We put
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: a prediction out there.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: He had a big cry.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: This is my prediction on the show is that Matt
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: will cry a lot.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: He's the best.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: He'll cry a lot. And he'll also get snappy a lot.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: Because he gets snappy when he's hungry.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like that could be a really good too,
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: doting Dad's drinking game. If anyone's watching the show and
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: you want to know like when to drink, it's when
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Matt cries and when he says something piece listeners. I
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: love that guy. Matt can be a real fucking piece
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: of work when he's hungry, though, So that might come
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: back to.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: About it work with him every day.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: He has this little sign where he's going to do
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: like a little love heart sign to the camera for
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: the girls.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: They're going to make it about me. You know, I'm
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: going to make that about me. We know who it's
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: really full.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And go, well, okay, how is.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: This going to go over the next few weeks, because
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: obviously with Matt being gone, could be two weeks, could
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: be six weeks.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: How many of these are we doing?
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: As many as you like?
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Is April doing?
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: He is like a contingency plan.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Did she know that she's part of the contention plan?
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: No, I've got the valuum stock up stocked out so
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: we can get her on. That's the only way we
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: can get about valuum and a glass of white.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: It'll be April just here like.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: She was, like, I watched that Mac go on TV
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: the other night. Hey Kradler, and I'm still drunk.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: All right, We'll see you back here every week.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: Then Matt gave was an update on Lola changing schools,
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: because we are in January and there's a lot of
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: change happening. Like my kids Marley going to a big school,
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: Oscar going to big school, but Lola's had to change daycares.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: First of all, I want your side of the story.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: I'm really going to set Matt up here, and I'm
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: really sorry Matt when you do hear this. What is
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: your thoughts on the changing of the school and what's
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: your side of the story of how it happens.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I am horrified by everything, So okay, I feel as
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: though a decision was made that I was not a
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: part of.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And to set the scene on there.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: So Lola's been going to one daycare since she was
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: about nine months old she's now almost four, Like she's
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: been going there pretty.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Much her whole life.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: The daycare teachers from that daycare are also some of
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: her babysitters, Like she has her little friends there, Like
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: she's so ingrained in that daycare, and she's so confident there,
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: and we also know it's an amazing daycare.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Likes it's really really great.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: The annoying thing is is that it's probably about a
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: forty minute drive round trip to drop her off in
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: the mornings, because it's back where we used to live,
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: not far, but it's like the traffic can be.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Bad in the morning. It's simmy everywhere. It's just annoying.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: Sometimes I look at the GPS and it's like five
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: k's thirty minutes.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what, it's exactly that, but it's actually it's
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: And also because Matt leaves it late, so he drops
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: her off during school time like smack on when all
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: the school kids which are across the road are going.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: So Matt drops her off a couple of times a week,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: but I also do the pickup, so I pick her
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: up on the way home from work, so where her
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: daycare was was more convenient for me for a pickup,
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: but more annoying for drop off. Cool establish that he
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: came home this one day and had the idea that
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: because Marley's going to school now, that he was going
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: to unenroll Lola from her daycare and enroll her in
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: a different daycare which is closer by three minutes to us,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: but it's the same daycare that his sister takes Lola's
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: cousin too, so that way they can co share.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: The drop of options.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I like that, Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure co share for co.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Brother and sister parenting lovely.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: For only ten months though, because our niece is going
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to go to school like next year, so there's only
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: ten months, so there's still going to be an.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Additional year where we have to do that ourselves.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: So great in theory, but also not great in theory
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: because when that decision was made, I originally was like, hey,
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: I don't think this is a great idea, but it
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: was also preceded him going and doing I'm a celebrity,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: and so I kind of felt like, Okay, well, if
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: you're not going to be here, surely the easiest and
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: best route should be the route that's like calm for
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Lola and fine for her from a transition perspective, and
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: also for me since I'm doing all the pickups and
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: drop offs, Like, why would we make a change that's
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: actually going to make my life harder over this six
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: weeks than anyway.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: So we had many fights about it. I lost.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: She's now going to a different daycare, and she fucking
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: hates it. And yesterday, no wonder she hates him, she
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: hates it. Yesterday she cried from the second I dropped
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Marley at school the whole way there, and then held
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: onto her car seat, screaming as I pulled her out
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: to take her inside. And so this is my question
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: to you, Ash, Matt is no longer here, which means
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: he can't make parenting decisions.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Am I the asshole?
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: If at the four week mark and he's not home
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: and I'm still dealing with this, can I unenroll her
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: and send her back to the old daycare?
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: Send it back now, Send it back now time he
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: gets back. Whenever he gets back, it's going to be
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: too late. But when this comes out, he won't be
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: able to hear it. So by the time he actually
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: hears this, she'll be probably two or three weeks deep
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: and back.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: And it's like, leave earlier. Bro.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: It's it's so hard that.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, anyone who's been through the process of trying
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: to change their kids to a new daycare, it's it's
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: like it is soul crushing. And when you have to
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: leave your kid with a stranger and they're screaming, crying
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: and their friends aren't there and they've got no friends.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: And I got into the car and I just burst
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: out crying. I was so sad because I've literally.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: Cried in the car or not, because that's the thing.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: You can't.
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: You shouldn't cry in front of them because then they
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: think I'm never going to see you again. Don't cry.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: Don't cry on the show. Actually cry, that'd be great
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: for the socials.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Cry, damn it, No, I couldn't.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: I had to let she was holding it to Actually
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: she wasn't holding it together. I was holding it together.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was just devastated for her and she
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: the next day I picked her up and she was like, Mommy,
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: I have no friends.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know anyone's.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Name, like, she was so so sad. Yeah, and I'm
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: not used to her being sad. I'm used to her
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: being like a roller recog. She's like, yeah, she's like
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: my sassy kind of like a little bit angsty, angry
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: little four year old that nothing phases, and here she
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: is being all sad and vulnerable.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: It broke me.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: Oscar's going to big school this year. But just with
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: work and stuff, we've got to do the odd casual day. Yeah,
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: because April's back at work and I'm here, back at.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Work, and I very hard. It's good to see I'm
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: hard work. I had an app today.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: You started at two thirty.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I literally did, what time is it? I'm done? It's
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: two forty two, I'm done.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: I So I dropped him and Macy off yesterday and
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: none of his friends were there, but Macy had friends there.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh, I was really I
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: was actually really worried.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: And I drove past and Oscar was playing with Macy
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: and someone else's playing, and I rang April up. I'm like,
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: none of his friends. I feel terrible, and you do
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: feel bad?
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Did he cry? Was there any to you?
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: No, he's sort of like at the stage now where
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: he's like if Macey's there, he's pretty happy. He's chill
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: because he'll look after Macy all day. He'll play whatever
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: Macy's playing. And thankfully he came home yesterday and some
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: of his friends arrived after I'd left.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: If he was hysterical, what would you do?
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: I've gone back in and got him and spent the
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: day with him. I've done that once.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: That is shocking to me.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: What do you mean?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't have picked that that.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: I've got a heart, not that.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: But just like I think that because I worry, and
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I thought about going back in and getting her and
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: being like, oh, just I'm not doing this today, like
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I'll just stay home from work and.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Be with you.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: But then I thought that if I did that, I
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: would actually just make it worse for the next day.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I thought I would just reinforce that if she has
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: a huge tantrum and she cries her eyes out that
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: then more Mum would just come back and get me.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: See the difference here was it wasn't it was, it
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: was a different cry.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I love that because I think that, I mean, it's
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: very surprisingly sentimental of you, Oush and vulnerable, but I
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: think that you can sew, you can so deeply second
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: guess what's the right thing to do, and everyone always
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: tells you, oh, well when they when you walk away,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: they're fine fifteen minutes later, like that's kind of the
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: thought when and majority of the time.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: That that could be the case.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it hasn't been for us this time with Lola,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: and I know that this is going to be a
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: few weeks and it's going to be really hard. It
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: just kind of sucks that it's coincided when Matt's not here.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Had day, but I will, but I will tend to
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: pick her up. At the end of the day, she'd
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: been there to four point thirty and she just looked
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: like she'd been crying all day, and the teachers said, yeah,
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: she cried on an awful day and often was saying
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: how much she misses you, and asked when you're coming
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: to pick her up, and I don't know, Like I mean,
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I know that she is resilient, and I know that
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: she will be fine the more that we stick to it,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: But I don't know if I have that resilience in parenting.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: And then you had that big question of You're like, well,
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: is this one of those moments where like it's going
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: to be better for her in the long run.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: I don't know. He sees you being resilient about it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: She might be more resilient about it too. You just
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: give up, and what sort of message does that leave?
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: So I shouldn't send her back to her audation podcast
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: now sorry, where we unpack our feelings, hold each other
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: and cry, and maybe it won't just be Matt crying
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: I will also be growing by the end of.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: The show as well. I would give it how long
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: has been two weeks?
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: In two weeks?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Give it another week? Okay, that's true.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I had planned on giving it four to six weeks,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: so like I was going to give it potentially until
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: that comes home. I do hope he stays in there
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: longer than two weeks, Like if he comes home first,
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: I think we've overshot it with how excited.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: We've been and how much like whoa you better do?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Really well? Imagine if he gets.
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: Out first, I don't think so, it'd be worse than
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: him in there, Like.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: There has to be someone.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: If ray Gun goes in, she's out first, surely do
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: you know what they'll say? There's no kangaroos alouded here
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: and now bounce you away out of here.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: There's been so many I think it's a very big possibility.
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: It is going to be her by the time this
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: comes out.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Well know, so like we're all going to know that
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: she's in there or not. But anyway, well.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: That is all the updates in the Burne Johnson household.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: I can't wait for a couple of days. I want
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: to see the girl's reaction. I'm going to watch this season.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Are you going to come to our house potentially on
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Sunday night? You guys should, That's a great idea, come and.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Do a watch party.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I've invited a lot of people over. But can I
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: be drunk? Yes, you stay, stay the night, do.
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: Have an event in the afternoon, but I can come
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: afterwards because I'm a busy man.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: You are so popular. I'm going to the basketball Okay,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: So you will be drunk. Great, perfect, that's exactly how
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I like you, actually ash what has been happening in
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: your household?
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: Ma, She's taken it upon herself to toilet train herself.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Well done. I always knew she was a genius.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: Well, we look, we're trying to we're trying to toilet
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: train her, but only because she's pretty much forcing it
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: upon us. She's just keep taking a nappy off everywhere.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: So we're and we're look, we highly encourage it straight away.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: How old is Macy now?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Just three? It's time?
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I'm like with her and I
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: was like, oh sweet, because we were going to anyway.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: So how do you go about the toilet training? Like,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: how do you approach this?
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: So during the day, we're in undies and it's the
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: constant do you need to go the toilet? What do
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: you do if you go to need to go the toilet?
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: She's got a little toilet shaped potty, like a proper
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: looking toilet thing, which she loves. It's pink, it's.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, gorgeous.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: I wish I had one when she goes. When we
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: can get you on from child size there, yeah, I'd
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: use it. Although we've I've heard about your shits. It's
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: all to the single use single they are because you
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: can take it out, put it in the toilet, wash it.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: Obviously she loves it, but she just disappears, like where's Macey?
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: And you looked down the hall and she's sitting on it,
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: which is great. So she's really good. She the first
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: little while, she would just I don't know with kids,
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: if they're into something, they're doing something, they just piss,
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: right what like?
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: So like early time, you mean she's distracted, she's not
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: thinking about the toilet.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: She's real simple. She'll just weak because you think she
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: forgets that she's not in a nappy anymore.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Do you have underwear on her?
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's where you're going wrong.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Pantless so no pants at all, and you just like
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: you have to just suck it up and do three
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: days staying at home.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Don't stuck the piss up, just stay at home.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Oh damn, easy, clean up a paper straw for the environment.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: I've think of the turtles.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: You've got to do three days of no pants, no underwear,
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: just be at home. So it's like as close to
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: the potty as possible, so she can easily access it.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: But it's almost like I find that having them with
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: no pants on is their constant reminder that when they
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: need to go, they need to go to the toilet,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: where when they've got underwear on, they think it's a nappy,
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: so they're not actually thinking about the fact that they
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: need to go.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: So I am.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, one thing that I think we we didn't
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: have as many struggles with when it comes to like parenting,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: was the potty training thing. I had a friend who
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: was like, just once you've made the decision, don't do.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Any of this.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Oh, we'll put a nappy when we go out of
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: the house and then we'll They're like, you just got
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: to You've got to bite the bullet. You gotta go
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: three days, hardcore, no pants for three days, just stay
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: at home, and within three days they will be so
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: close to being potty trained that you can like manage
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: it way better.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: We're way past the three days, okay, unfortunately, but like
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: we still wears a nappy when she goes.
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: To bed, because yeah, of course she every fucking day
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: long still has a nappy.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but she takes it off even when we were
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: leaving the house. We're still in Undie's work. We had
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: ditched the nappies during the day, which is great because
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: then we'd be like, we can't go anywhere into your weed, right,
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: And I think it was like two or three days
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: in it was really just after Christmas, and we were
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: to this new park that's sort of been done up
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: near our place in the afternoon.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Great and it's got like a really big, windy.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Slide, amazing fun.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: Kids are playing, having a great time and this is
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: going it's perfect. And I'm at the bottom of the
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: slide and I just see a trickle of what I
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: thought at the time was water and it slightly built
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: up a puddle at the bottom of the slide, and
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: I was.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: Like, what the fuck. There's kids. There's more than just
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: my kids there. I was like, what the fuck is this?
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: And I was like, maybe someone's poured like a bottle
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: of water down there.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: And then Macy comes sliding into her own pool of pits.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: It's Macy's own water slide.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: She literally and I was like, what the fuck.
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: And she slipped her and then she gets off the
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: slide and goes it's wet, like she didn't know, and I.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Was like, fuck, how'd you pack spare clothes.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: We did.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: We packed spare clothes, thankfully, but like we didn't have
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: any wipes to wipe this slide down.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Fuck it, that's someone else's problem. Macey's got her own
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: wet and wild going on. She's just like who can't
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: over Christmas?
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: So I got the what she was in. She was
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: in a dress.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: I took the dress off, put her in a new dress.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: I sent oscar up there with the wet dress to
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: come back down the slide to clean the wee off
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: the slide.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: That was very responsible of you. I can't be sure
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: that I would have done that.
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: There was people right there, and I think they would
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: have walked away if there was no one there.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I'll believe in that piece of dry out.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: It's like when your dog does a poo but it's
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: nighttime and you're like, could I get away with this?
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Should I pick this up? Or the always I always do? Always?
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: The fake pick up my old man does used to do.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: The fake pick up is the fake pickup where you
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: just pick up next to it, but you don't actually
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: pick it up. Yeah, don't know what you're talking about.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Me.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: Were these things my friends where it would be like
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: if you had went to go pick up your dog shit.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Everyone someone would fill me been like, oh so childish.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: There is still so from when Matt and I like
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: when The Bachelor was on air a million years ago.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Now there is still Pat pictures and it's a series
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: of Pat pictures of just of me picking up dog shit.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: That's good gear.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: And it was a full Daily Mail article just about
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: me being environmentally conscious and.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: How I clean up after my dog.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: So if anyone know you eat it.
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: After tough times back then, yeah, I feel like with
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: dog shit is if you don't pick it up, you're
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: just going to step in it along the line.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: It's a cycle. I think like karma, it's karma.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: I saw this fantastic TikTok or Instagram or something the
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: other day and this mum was talking about how she
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: was going through the stage of potty training, right, and
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: she said, the thing that's the hardest is when you
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: know that your kid has done a shit somewhere, but
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: you just don't know where, right, so.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: I can smell it, I know that it's happened.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: You become a bloodhound like a truffle pig.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: So she was walking around the house documenting, like where
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: is the turd.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: Where is it?
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: It's got to be somewhere.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: That'd be a really good idea for a book. And
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: where's the book? Where's the turd?
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: And the little boy has fallen asleep. He's asleep like
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: next to the couch, So he hasn't fallen asleep in
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: his bed. He's asleep just like next to the couch
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: on the ground. The mom's walking around trying to find
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: the pooh Oh. She finds it. It's in his hand,
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: holding on to.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: It, next to his head. I'll try and find this.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: It was absolute goal.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: How comforting.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: You know how kids have that aversion where they think
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: it's theirs, like they sometimes kids get upset when you
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: flush it down a toilet or whatever because it's their
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: part of their body.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so he was just holding on I store all.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: My semen, jess face. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Where do you put it?
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Where do you put it? Never you mind? Yeah? Sorry?
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: To sell it on only fans, you would do something.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: It would be a slide business completely.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: There's no swimmers in there, I know.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: But it's like the woman who sells her farts like
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: it's of no use, but like someone buys it really
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: there's a woman on Yeah, there's a selles of farts.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's another person that.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: They're unfit sweat the dark holes I go down on
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: the internet.
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: You never you mind?
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: How much money can I make? Do you think?
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know?
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Ash?
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: How much did you make from selling feet?
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: Your business? None of your business anyway.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: So yeah, Like I know when when I changed Macy's nappy,
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: if she's done it, she won't she has to pull
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: it in nappy still. She might be sitting on the
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: toilet but she has to be wearing an appy.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Oh the comfort.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But I like whenever I try and change it,
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: she's like I.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Want to see it, you know, like there's a there's
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: a connection that.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: They have with it.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: I think every parent can like remember that, or if
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: they're going through themselves now, like the time when your
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: kid's doing that transition of toilet training and they want
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: you to put a nappy back on them so that
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: they can go and do a poo, So you put
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: a nappy on them, and then they'll go and hide
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: behind the couch and go red face.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: But you know that that's what they're doing.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: But they need the security of the nappy because yeah,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: poo's are just a whole nother kettle of fish.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: So Macie will go into and for some reason she
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: picks our bedroom to be her place to pooh. I
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: would too, Yeah, just shit on my fucking pillow, not
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: your pillow.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: It's just a it's comforting, you know, being close to
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: mom and dad.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: And she can't.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: It's a vulnerable moment.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: She can't pronounce the letter T, so like I'll come
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: up the hallway and I hear this not yep. She's
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: not ready for me to change it, so she's like,
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: not yep, not yep, and then I'll walk in and
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: it will fucking.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: S Macy is the sweetest little thing.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: She is cute.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: She's so cute.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: She is cute.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Can you get a record th of not yep.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: Going there somewhere the cuteness that is little she is. Yeah,
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: she's she's very she's very cute. At the moment, she's
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: sort of trying to say more words like Oscar was
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: such a yapper. He is a yapper like his dad.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: It's just fucking yeap, yep. Yeah, I'm just like, fuck me,
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: He's like, do you know what he's like? So my
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: grandmother can talk the leg off a chair. Literally, she
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: can talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: He's just like that.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Well, at least you know that he's got some good genes.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: At least you know that that's your son.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know where she came from. She's a
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: ginger and she's white as a goat. She glows in
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: the dark.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Even I was suspicious.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, that's the that's the milkman.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: People explained herself on this one. Yet, Yeah, getting canceled.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I do hope that I don't get you guys cancer
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: And Matt's done a really good It's meant to be,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: is it?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I have a question for you, and it's I wonder
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: if it's something you've experienced with your kids. So, and
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: I know I talk about Lola a lot, and that's
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: probably because Molly's Molly is like quite reliable. She kind
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: of doesn't do anything that's outside the ordinary in terms
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: of like she's very consistent in her behavior and in
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: her personality.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: She really and.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: She's like it's in the way she gets Ricky because
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: I'm a creature habit, and that's a creature the.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Same I am too.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: I'm like same lunch every day, Like I am such
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: a person that likes to do the same thing on repeat.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: Like a serial killer.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, really similar, similar traits when I think about it,
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: And I've always identified just.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: To listen to if I go missing. You know, the
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: number one suspect is go on.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Well, okay, So Marley's consistent.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: She also is like a little bit of a you know,
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: an A plus student kind of thing.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Like she's very smart.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: She's a very humble brag. This is a humble parent.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: My child's genius.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: She's so clever.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Whereas Lola's a bit more radical. You don't know what
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: you're going to.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Get from her, right, Like she is the outlier and
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: it keeps life interesting. And I think it's a second
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: child thing, but who knows, it could just be the
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: wild card of parenting. So Lola is now in a
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: phase where if she hurts me, I'm in the wrong.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: So she scratched my face yesterday. She got so angry
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: at me that she she lashed and scratched my face.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: This was preceding her screaming I want my daddy. She
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: she did it to the cat and I said, don't
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: do that to the cat. So then she turned around
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: and did it to my face, and I was like, hey, like,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: we don't do that, and that really hurt. Like I
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: got upset because she got me straight in the eye,
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: but I didn't get angry.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't yell. I was just like, WHOA like that? No, No,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: I was really like, WHOA like that?
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Like, you don't do that.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: That hurt mummy, Like mummy, Mummy's upset. That hurt me.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: And her response was yo, hurt.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Me, and shet Emotionally, I'm like, yeah, like I manipulated
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: her because my hurt upset her. So then now she
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: storms off and she manages to twist a situation.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Gaslighted, just gas gas it by four year.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: Old, just manipulating the whole household.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: So she manages to I mean, obviously, don't apologize. I'm
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: not like a battered mum. But at the same time,
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, how do I explain to you that actually
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: you're not always the one that's the victim in every
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: situation challenging.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: I don't know neither.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'm doing a good job this parenting thing.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: I remember Macey hit April once at the beach, which
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: tiny little Mazy.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: It was like.
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: She patted April, and technically she patted April on the back,
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: but like it was at the beach, so like skin
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: it was made a slap. And I think like Macy's
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: the one who cries. They might be embarrassed that they
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: know they've done the wrong thing in front of you
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: or to you.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but it's not and I'm sorry. Cry you
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: hurt me. Cry Yeah, but I think I'm angry. Makes
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: me feel bad.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: I think that's a knee jerk trigger response because they
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: don't understand the emotion or what it's called. I think
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: they feel like I know when Oscar accidentally the other
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: he poked me in the eye. It was it was
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: a blatant accident, and my reactions straight away.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: Because because it fucking hurts you get poked in the eye.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: You've only got two of them, and you can lose
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: them pretty quickly. I reckon.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: I can imagine you were upset.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: They're bits of jelly in your head.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: We're all we all know what I balls up.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: If someone put their mouth over your eye and sucked
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: hard enough, it had come out, that's what we're dealing
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: with here.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's true, would should we.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: Try go yet?
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Anyway, he poked me in the eye and it was
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: an accident, but my knee jerk response was oh fuck,
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: and he got really upset, like.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: You saw it.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: No, I didn't swear. I actually didn't say fuck. I
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: just said that for comedic effect.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: I was like ah.
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: I was like, ah, noticeably it hurts, and it was
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: clearly an accident.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: But he then.
• 31:57
  Speaker 4: Got upset around me, like I forced his finger into
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: my eye, and I think it's.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: The same thing.
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: I think maybe she doesn't know the response or the emotion.
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: I'm just going to get more upset.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I'm going to get upset because then
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: it counteracts.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, I don't know how to react when
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: I've done the wrong thing.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: So instead I screamed for my father, who I actually
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: don't want to know.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: Actually more, if he was here, I hit him too.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Poor Matt got it.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he really drew the short I miss him, and
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: he drew the short straw with that. And I know
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: that we're making jokes now, but in a week's time,
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be so sad. I'm a pathetic puddle
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: without that man, Never leave me, Matt when you listen
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: to this.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: All right, I hope you anyway, we're going on track it.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: I've got a scenario. I want to run by you.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: Great, that happened not to me, I witnessed it. I'm
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: a good people watcher. I love people from the bush.
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: That's that's a peeping tom. That's different. You look outside,
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: you you can.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Get that in the suburbs down by someone's house. Yeah yeah,
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: through the window when they're in the shower.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: It wasn't me.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: I just happened to witness it while I was stalking
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: someone masturbating. Sorry, yes I was. We were at the
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: park and this particular park has a basketball court next
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: to it. It's a half court just to paint your picture,
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: thank you, And there's it's.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Not overly busy. There's a teenager.
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: I'm going to say teenager. Here's probably twenty, that's how
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: old I feel. I am him and his girlfriend. And
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: he was playing on the basketball court along with another
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: little boy that had a ball.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: And then there was a mom there right with her pram.
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: She had a baby in the pram and she had
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: a smaller kid about Macy's age two or three.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: Around there somewhere the smaller ones out of the pram.
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: But the lady was standing in the middle of the
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: basketball court directly below the hoop pretty march. Why I
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: don't know, with her pram and her two year old
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: kid that's running around.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: And so wait, was there another kid that was in
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: the pram or the two year old kid was the
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: kid that was in the prem.
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: I know there was a smaller baby babies. She's standing
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: there in the middle of the basketball court used predominantly for.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Basketball, and there are people trying to There's.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: A guy trying I watched him for a while because
• 34:25
  Speaker 4: he was like talking to his girlfriend and then saw
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: they were there and waited, like politely waited and was like,
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: I want to play.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: I'm here to play basketball. You're in the basketball court.
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And then he's gone, fuck it. He started to
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: bounce the well just around to sort of give the
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: idea that you're in the middle of the basketball court here.
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: I know, your kids running circles around the thing.
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: Whatever. There's a whole playground right there for that sort
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: of stuff.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: And then he sort of stands next to them a
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: little bit like as he's kind of like edging them
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: out to be like, can you if a ball hits
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: your kid, it'll probably not the kid out. You're standing
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: in the wrong spot. And she he has just completely
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: ignored him, and he's gone to thrown the ball into
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: the hoop okay, and she turns to him and goes,
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: you could hit my kid with that ball, and he
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: and I watched it. He stood his ground. He said,
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: this is a basketball court. And she's like, you need
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: to be more careful. You need to be more careful.
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: You could have hit my kid with your ball. Blah
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah if it wasn't a basketball court
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: and there's a ball flying around, and we all.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: Know how much you like basketball. I love, I understand
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: got to shoot some hoops.
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And he stood that.
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: He stood his ground and was like, hey, you are
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: standing beneath a hoop okay with a pram with a
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: newborn pretty much a baby in it, and you're letting
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: your two year old run around on a basketball court
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: with no basketball, and then you want to have a
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: dig at me for doing what the purpose of this is.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: I have a question for you, what side of this
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: argument do you sit on.
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: I'm on the I'm on the guy kid who wanted
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: to play basketball side.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I am, but I think he went about it the way.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: I think he lacks the ability to have a conversation.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: I think the smarter way would have just been, hey,
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: do you mind moving? There's a playground right there, and
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: he's perfect and we want to play. I'm also saying
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: he's a teenager too.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know I get that, But I.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Also think that like, just because you might technically be
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: in the right, doing something that then puts someone in danger,
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: puts you in the wrong. That's the problem, right, It's
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: like the way, it's the reaction to the problem that
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: then means she probably reacted in a way that she
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: wouldn't have had he just said, Oh, we want to
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: play basketball, could you move?
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I also think like some self awareness, yeah, and
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: I and.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: I do genuinely think and this might get me in
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: trouble from like other moms maybe, but they're they're definitely
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: our parents who think that them being parents is the
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: most important thing, Like that they're that there's this sense
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: of like, well, I have a baby, and I have
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: a pram, especially a really little baby, you kind of
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: expect that everyone else gets out of the way for you.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: I think to some degree, and it doesn't always work
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: like that. So maybe she is someone who has that
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: sense of entitlement. Yeah, but yeah, no, I don't think
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: that in that situation.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: I am completely on his side. I just think you
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: went about the wrong.
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: Way for sure.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: For sure, I felt I feel like anything communicated with communication.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Right, But then it just comes down into a pram.
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: You're standing directly under a fucking basketball hoop, for God's sake,
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: with a baby in your pram and your two year
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: old running a mark next to a playground where they
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: can do that stuff safely.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand your fury. I am on your side.
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: She this is the thing, right she She stormed off
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: after pulling the I'm the mum card, stormed off, sort
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: of passed me and looked at me to be like,
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: I'm on your side.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I just don't make eye contact.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: If my thing is is like maybe I would have
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: reacted like her as well.
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: I think I not on.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Purpose, only because like if I'd done something like that
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: without realizing, but then a kid who is still a kid,
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: like a young guy, reacted in a way that was
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: a bit reckless. I probably would have turned around and
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: pulled the mum card of like fucking grow up, you
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: little shit.
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: You know, at the same time, you've got to be
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: You've got to be like, it's not all about me.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you one time that I was feeled?
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I mean, I probably could just say this, so I've
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: got actually content to talk about the next time on
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: this podcast.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: But whatever, I'll blome a load the nut of content.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: The one thing that, like I thought it was that
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: next to mat sorry, the one thing, the one thing
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: that comes to mind when I think about like being
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: absolutely enraged as a parent, like like to the point
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: where I was like I wanted I've never been so
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: angry that I wanted to hurt another person, right, And
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm gonna spit on this girl. I
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: was furious, I'm gonna break her windscreen wipers. Like it
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: was road rage as well, so like like a different
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: kind of rage when you're like it's like a you
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: can't even describe.
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: Its behind a windscreen.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: So Lola was a newborn baby. Well, actually that's a lie.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: She must have been Oh when was it okay? Irrelevant?
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: She was little?
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: She was little.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: I had Marley in the car as well, and we
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: were driving around. It was like peak fucking Christmas. So
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: she must have been like ten months then, so or
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: nine months. It was peak Christmas time. We were trying
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: to drive around to find a car park in Bonnet Junction.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: I had been driving around for forty five fucking minutes
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: and this was like Christmas Eve with two kids in
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: the car. Don't ask me why I was doing it,
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: but I was. Marley's screaming, Lola's screaming. All I needed
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: to do was duck in and get one thing. And
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: I had been circling around where the parent's parking the
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: cars are anyway, I had my indicator on to go
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: into this car park, and this other woman just zipped
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: in and took the parent, like the woman with PRAMS.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: It's got a picture of Prams. She zipped in and
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: took it. And I then, like, I obviously caught around,
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my. I was like, dude,
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: I have two kids in the car. You can hear them.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: You could see I was going into that park and
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: you just took it. And she goes, well, that's your
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: fault for having children, and I was like.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: Well, oh my god, that's warranted.
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: That's just my rudeness, so angry, that is outright, that's outrageous.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: I called Matt and I was like, I am going
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: to snap this woman's windscreen wipers off, and he was like,
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: don't do it. And I was like, I'm going to
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: buy a smoothie and throw it on her window, and
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: he was like, don't do it.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: He talked me back off a ledge.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, but that is my Roman empire. I
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: think of that moment all the time, all the time.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: I'm not a rage filled person.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: No, I know. I know that.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: And I wanted to physically armor.
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, look I think that. Look, that's just straight up rudeness.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, I wish your mum never had a child.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: I think she was swallowed.
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: I was.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: I was filled with I was filled with it.
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: I could have wow, so many, so many.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: And there's the thing, when you think back of it,
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: you think what I could have done, But I should
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: have said what I can say.
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: So when he missed opportunity.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: I said nothing because I was so startled, and then
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: all of the responses came to me.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: For weeks afterwards, I'd.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Be in a shower brushing my teeth and I'd be like, Laura, Yes,
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: it's time for some listener questions.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, it is good.
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: You read my mind, right, I've got one for you. Okay,
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: So this comes off the back of a.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Do you call this ask two doting darts? No, just
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: listen to questions. Just listen to question.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Should get a name for this segment asking cart's good?
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Can you cut that out?
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: All right? What do you have for me?
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: So we have a guest on the podcast at a
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: while back, Steph Claiar Smith, who is currently pregnant.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: There has never been a more attractive pregnant person like
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: she just frighteningly. I never knew I was attractive to
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: pregnant women, but here we are.
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: I know, like like she popped out so like perfectly forward.
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: If she was if you looking at her from the
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: from the back, you'd be like, oh, there's Steph.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: And then she's like, oh, I got you're pregnant. Yes, yes,
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: off the bait.
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: And she's having trouble with her eldest child his name, Yes,
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: she hasn't asked me and asked this question. But notice
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: that she's having problems.
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: With his sleep and how clingy he is.
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: But we have had a question from a listener similar circumstance,
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: so I thought we'd touch on it now.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: The question.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: I knew that Steph Kasmith really wanted advice from us,
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: so I'm glad.
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: That she doesn't want to advice from us. She might
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: from you, not from me.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: I think she's doing just fine.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: Yes, So the question is, I'm currently pregnant with my
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: second child. My first, who is four, is acting very clingy.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: They won't let me go to sleep. What do I do?
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: Oh man, that's so hard. I mean, there's probably lots
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: of things that you can do in this situation. I
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: would probably check, like as in, like, you know, have
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: a little mental check and see if you think you're
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: spending enough one on one time with them.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: Because big changes happening.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: Kids don't understand what that change is, but they know
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: that a baby's coming, which means less attention for them,
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: less time for them, and that mum's occupied with something else,
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: you know, and there's lots of excitement talking about this
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: new baby.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: But I think because like.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: Maley and Laula are really close in age, and I
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: think one thing that helped us was getting Maley excited
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: about being a big sister and about all the things
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: that it's going to mean for her as well. That's
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: not to say that once Laula came, like she was
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: so jealous and it was really hard and we had
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: loads of those clinging periods, but trying to make it
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: more about her rather than about the baby. And also
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: the second thing that we had to do, which helped,
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: like I can't even tell you how much it helped,
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: was just me having really like designated one on one
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: time with Marley, so like I would take Marley to
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: go and get her nails done, or I would take
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Maley for a walk just us, so we'd go get
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: ice cream. And I know that, like you obviously can't
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: just leave the baby at home because it's in your belly,
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: but it's like just not with dad, having time just
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: the two of you where you don't talk about the baby,
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: you don't talk about pregnancy, and you just focus on
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: them and their little wants and needs. Like I don't know,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: I think that that's probably all you can do, Like
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: it's only going to be a couple of months, it's
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: a phase.
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: But the fact that like not letting mum go to sleep, yeah,
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: that means everyone's tired in the house. At what point
• 44:23
  Speaker 4: did you just go jump in to bed with me
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: and that's your time and create that bad habit.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: But then then.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: You've got to break note bees.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: Then you've got to break that habit once baby comes along,
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: and then that's like hell on earth, literally hell on Earth.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: I also that kind of question in this time. I
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: think we can all do it where like, when you're pregnant,
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: everything it almost becomes part of your personality, right, Like
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: your personality becomes that you're pregnant. Everyone talks about your pregnancy,
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: everyone's asking about it. It's like all of the focus
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: goes from everything else in the world to the fact
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: that you're pregnant.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: That's like a really exciting thing.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: And I wonder if like you're little kid is picking
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: up on that and they feel a little bit like, Okay, well,
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: the most exciting thing that's happening in mum's life is.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: That mum's pregnant.
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what about me?
• 45:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: And everyone's talking about the pregnancy and we're always talking
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: about the baby. But like, but like I'm here, you know,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: and kids are like in built. It's a I was
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: actually listening. It's probably going too deep, but whatever, we'll
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: go there. I was listening to a child psychologist talk
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: about how siblings are actually really in competition with each other,
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Like as much as they love each other, they also
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: see each other as like a direct threat, a direct threat,
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: a direct threat to their attention source, or a direct
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: threat to the thing that keeps them safe and makes
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: them feel loved. And so it's almost like it's started already,
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: but for you, it's just the baby's not born yet,
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: but that direct threat is still there that you know,
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: that little child still knows fuck, like, I gotta work
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: so much harder for mum's attention now.
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: So it's like all the attention has been taken away
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: from you when it's been with you for the whole time.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I look back on having Lola and
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I My biggest regret is that I think I loved
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: it at the time, the idea of having them really
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: close together, and I love it now, But when they
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: were really little, I found that it made Marley grow
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: up too quickly and she no longer was the baby,
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: even though I look back on photos and I'm like,
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: holy shit, you're.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: In a nappy. You were a baby.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they were only nineteen months apart or something,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: and I think that that was a bit unfair on
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: her because she didn't get to be the baby for
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: very long, and she kind of got thrusted onto Matt
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: and I took Lola, and I don't know. I now
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: look back and I understand why she had the moments
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: of like neediness that she had, But at the time,
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, this is so hard.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: Get off me, Let me go to sleep. You know,
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: it's hell on earth when you don't get sleep.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: It's the worst.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: It's the worst part of those early years of parenting.
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So do you think that, like maybe the work
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: can be done during the day, spend just a little
• 46:46
  Speaker 4: bit more one on one time and make it about them,
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: you know, doing that last bed bath routine that you
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: would do with them.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent one on one time. And if that
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: doesn't work, Melotonin forever, I still.
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: Sleep with my mum, you.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: Would both the kids are in the bed now with me.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: Now that Matt's not here, Oh yeah.
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: As soon as I go away or I'm not there
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: for the night or whatever it might be, Oscar's.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: He's got yeah, he's there.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: He's like, what do you mean you're away tonight.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Like your bear, your spot is still warm, and Oscar
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: just like slides on in. I just worry, like when
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Matt comes home, he's never going to be able to
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: sleep in the bed again.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: We've gone back to square one.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: That's the dream. I'm going to finish the episode now,
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: I'm nervous.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: What are you nervous about?
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: Don't know what we do at the end. What do
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: you do?
• 47:35
  Speaker 4: We all get naked, just your first she's back there
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: to work and he's.
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Just naked the whole time.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: You can only see from the neck up.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: Anyway, guys, that is it from us. Thank you for
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: having me on the podcast.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: Yes, you'll be back next week. I will be so.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: If you do have questions for Laura on the Facebook
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: group I've asked.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'll put up a question box as well.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: If you have any parenting to any dad questions that
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: you want a mom to answer, I'm here.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: Cheeky plug. If I've enjoyed this episode, please leave review
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: five stars.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: If you're going to leave a review, you'd hope it's
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: five stars.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Anything less than that would be annoying, wouldn't it is?
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: With this one, we got one saying get your own
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: slogan and it was like, must be nice.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: It was so fun.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I did read that.
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: I did. Did you see the one that was just
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: like no, it was one star anyway?
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: That is it Join us on socials as well, two
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: doting dads on Instagram, like I said, the Facebook group
• 48:35
  Speaker 4: also TikTok. We also have a couple of calendars there
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: where else can I plug in this little section here?
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: You do.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: There's actually quite a few of the raunchy ranch calendars
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: that are at my house currently. And I think that
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: if you want to get someone a present in January,
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: now is the time to get a calendar to get
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: your life in order for twenty twenty five. Just never
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: mind the little typo one March. Apart from that, it
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: is perfect well said. It's a beautiful, beautiful calendar also,
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: and I think before we wrap this up, we have
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: a very very important request. Please go and vote for
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: my husband. Whether you've enjoyed this or not, if you've
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: really enjoyed it, the way to keep that away longer
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: is by going joining I think it's ten play. You've
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: got to sign up and you can vote for Mattie
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Jay in the jungle. Let's see him eat a zebra asshole.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: It'll make everyone happy. Session with this zebra assholes.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: Running, it's kind of just a rotting joke with Matt
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: I want to actually get him a zebra's asshole.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: That's it from us.
• 49:26
  Speaker 5: See, Hey guys, I'm trying to get pregnant, are you?
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you with a baster.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: Matt just is we're using we're using condoms. So when
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I just go and fish them out of the bin,
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: that's a lot I don't.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: Two. Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraate island
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: the peoples today