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Rethinking the Obsession with Evidence in Mediumship · The Unity Code - Where Science Meets Energy, Consciousness, and Spirit.

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Empower your Soul with Nicole.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I am here today to talk about the obsession with evidence in evidential mediumship and I think this is such an interesting topic to me because I have slowly been changing my stance.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: But I wanted to talk about it because, if you're doing evidential mediumship, we all know evidence is so critical to what we do right, and a lot of people who are skeptics, that don't believe in the spirit, mumbo jumbo, specifically hire or book readings with evidential mediums so that they can get the proof, the evidence, the information to truly validate that their loved ones are there on the other side.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: And I, I am obviously 100% a believer and I make it a point to say wherever my name is, that I am an evidential medium.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: And because I think that proof, that evidence, is so important, especially for someone like me that is analytical and I have to tell you, the first medium that I ever saw that literally gave me so much evidence, um, it blew my mind so much that it changed, obviously, my entire perspective on the spirit world and it, like it's, cemented the knowledge for me that the spirit world is real.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: My loved ones are still with me, right, and I want to do that for other people.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I want to cement their evidence, their knowledge, their beliefs that the spirit world exists and it's not.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: It's not that I want to be this big hero to save the day and kind of prove to them, but I just want them to have peace of mind, like I have, and belief like I have, that there is something bigger and greater, because it just changes your whole life, like it changes your perspective.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: It allows you to just trust and know that it's going to be okay in the end and it for me personally, it just helps me really put things into perspective on what's important versus what's not important.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I got to tell you as a professional evidential medium and also, you know, soul alignment coach and all that jazz, being able to hear every day the messages to their loved ones here in the physical world, like the departed people's messages to us here in the physical world.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I mean there's common themes, let's be honest, like I know that everyone's reading is different, but love your people, forgive them, don't live guilty, be happy, like there's a very common themes and I think being able to see those and I'm a very pattern oriented person and hear those over and over again, it really just cements what's important for me.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: So that's why I really lean towards the evidence, because once you believe that this is your person through evidence, you are sure as hell going to believe the message that they have to say or the advice that they have to say.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: So obviously to me like passionate, very, very passionate about the evidence.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: But also I think I'm a little obsessed with the evidence too right, and I think that a lot of evidential mediums are, and I wonder if we take it too far and the clients don't care as much.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: But I might put that one on hold for a future conversation.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: But from day one, when I was learning in my first class of evidential mediumship, the first thing that I was taught is you need a checklist.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: As me, as a medium, I need a checklist.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: I need to know gender, I need to know age, I need to know relationship and like.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: It was a literal checklist of all.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: It must've been 10 things.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I can't remember all of them, but it was a literal checklist of all.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: It must have been 10 things.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I can't remember all of them, but it was a literal checklist of 10 things career, marital status, and it was like what you would put in an obituary, right, that's beyond, like, that's really what it was.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: And I was taught from my very, very first teacher that the spirit needs to provide all of this information to you, otherwise you're not doing the reading right.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Um, if they are not going to play along and give you this evidence, you kick them out and you tell them they can't come back.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: And obviously that didn't sit well for me, which is why I ran for the hills once my time with her was up, because I don't believe that there angry about it or contentious about it, but there's a big.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: There's a big disagreement or or different approaches.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I guess, for those of us that do this professionally or that are teaching this or training in this, that you know and it's, and it comes from just the cultures of where mediumship tends to be taught.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: And I think a lot of this checklist culture comes from the UK.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: It comes from the spiritual, spiritualist churches in the UK and their type of evidential mediumship, I have to be honest, is the best in the world, because they will give you all of that information, they will give you the checklist.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Um, this is my.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: You know this is my grandma.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: She died at 87 of lung disease and you know she was surrounded by her loved ones and her grandson um her, something about her I don't know, but we'll go through all of the different evidence and that's how they do their evidential mediumship.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: And they do it every week in church, like that is their religion, that they have a medium, isn't?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: They're like Sunday church every week.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: So if you ever want to see free mediums, just go find spiritualist churches that post their things online or do online services and dial in, because they will have an evidential session.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not promising the quality of that medium by any means, but they will at some point have a medium that goes up and does a demonstration.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: They call it standing up or quote unquote standing up in front of the virtual room and reads cold and reads um, brings into part of loved ones and figures out who's who they're with and then gives them a message.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: So like rad, right, super rad, super rad, um.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: So a lot of that checklist again comes from that UK that really believes that evidential mediumship has to have these guideposts, these rails, that it needs to be extremely evidential.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: But think about I love my UK fans.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: This is not about you, I love you.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Think about the culture of the UK, right, like I'm going to base it off of a very friendly show like Downton Abbey, right, or like anything else that's.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: But like the UK culture in general, generalities here tends to be very reserved.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: The UK culture does not tend to show emotions, right, they don't talk about certain subjects and I know there's exceptions, but in in general just based on my knowledge, my experience with UK people, it's just, their culture is very reserved, right, and that's totally fine.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: But think about the context of evidential mediumship and having this checklist within a culture that doesn't necessarily value feelings, emotions or the expression of it, I guess, the expression of feelings and emotions.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So what you end up having if you ever dial into these UK spiritualist churches and listen to their mediumship services, you end up having very dry, very cold, and when I say cold I mean like non-emotional evidential mediumship sessions and like that's not to say they're not good at what they do.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Because, again, some of the best mediums in the world come from the UK and I could name them off my hand.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But I feel like those ones that are really popular out of the UK have figured out that you do need to bring emotion to into this, like the function of what we do is bring in departed loved ones to validate they're still alive and give messages like this is possibly the most emotional thing that we could do.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Right, like we are giving, we're literally sending love from the spirit world, like through us, to our clients, right, we're literally sending love from the spirit world, like through us, to our clients, right, and vice versa.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: We're literally sending messages of love, of hope.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Um, I know my um you're.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let you hit on a little secret here.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a sip of water before I cough my quality measure for myself.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, I just said quality measure for myself in a mediumship reading.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Did the person cry?
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Did my client cry?
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, if I cried, that's a whole other level, cause I just I cry when they bring these big emotions through and my body can't freaking handle it.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: So my tears flow in my readings, as I'm sure you've seen.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: If my client cried, then I know it's been an amazing reading.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I, even if I failed and if I didn't bring the evidence they wanted me to give, or it wasn't a hundred, it wasn't like accurate to the level that I want it to be accurate If my client cries, I know I've hit the mark because to me, like we speak in emotion, we speak in energy, energies, like emotions are energy.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: So if I can bring that energy and that emotion in and my client tears up a little bit or sobs, I'm cool with that too.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Like then I know it's a good reading.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: So this, I think, is where there's been this really big disconnect with me and I'm going to say some of my former teachers, some of the culture of mediumship and where I seem to be heading some of the culture of mediumship.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: And where I seem to be heading, because I do agree that validation is really important, but I don't consider the UK checklist to be the standard in evidential mediumship.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I consider I guess my personal perspective is I want enough evidence to validate who we are with and then moving into the message, because if and when I say enough evidence, I mean I want you to know without a doubt that we have the right person.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: And I'm working on my names.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put the I'm going to like literally this is not currently actively true, but I'm going to put the energy into the universe that says I'm fantastic in names.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I'm going to I'm going to put the I'm going to like literally this is.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: This is not currently actively true, but I'm going to put the energy into the universe that says I'm fantastic in names.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: It's my affirmation.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I'm fantastic at names, I'm working on them, right.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I know those are also like the gold standard of mediumship is getting the names Right.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: But, like, I try working really hard on relationships.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: But relationships are really hard sometimes like stepdads, you know, third cousin, that kind of thing, right.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Like I try to pull in as much evidence as I can and a lot of my evidence really comes from the personality side of the house, which for me is really important because I don't want.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: In a recent practice session with somebody, it was really interesting because the person that I was partnered with, she brought in so many amazing like personality traits, she got some memories in there and she really was the antithesis of the checklist and it and the whole reading just flowed seamlessly.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: When you, when you have, if you, mediums or you people who've had readings before, it just flows from one subject to the other.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: It's not, it's not abrupt, there's no like major pauses, it just makes sense, right.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: It just it's like a story that the spirit brings through the story and this medium was very good at giving me the story I believe it was of my grandfather.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: And then it was my turn and I was in tears.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I was literally sobbing.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: This was like one of the best readings I've ever had.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I was sobbing.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: And then it's my turn to read her and spirit comes in and, oh God, they love to give us lessons.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Like those of you that don't do this, they spirit gives us lessons and practice sessions.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: They purposely fuck with us so that we get out of our head and actually learn something, because most mediums want to show up to a practice session and be like I'm amazing.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Look at all this.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Look at me.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: You know, like, like I'm the best.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Um, but no spirit.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: If you're working good with spirit, they come in and they mess with you and they put you in your place.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: They make you humble.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: So that's what that's what spirit did to me in this mediumship reading is you in your place.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: They make you humble.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: So that's what that's what spirit did to me in this mediumship reading is they made me humble.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I had pulled in I can't remember who I pulled in for this my practice partner but I ended up pulling in the checklist like this old way of me doing things.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I pulled in.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: This is your grandmother.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: She died at 82.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Um, this is what she did for a living.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Her husband had passed before her.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Every you know she did.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: She died of something in her stomach, you know, maybe stomach cancer.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I can't remember what the specifics were, but I literally gave the checklist and spirit, dead ass, stopped right in the middle of me providing the checklist and my head said how does it feel Legit, how does this feel?
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, this feels really shitty.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: And they're like, doesn't it?
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Because there was no emotion to it.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: It was me stating facts and it was like this awesome, like slap on the wrist from spirit, like you need to let spirit lead.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: They will do whatever they want you to do.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: And that's the wonderful part about working with spirit is it all comes from positive intention.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Spirit actually wants to play along and do things that make you feel comfortable as a medium, but they'll push you if they don't think it makes sense.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: So that's what.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Whoever that spirit was, she's obviously like a core practice spirit.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: With this person.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: I'm like in my head I can see them like commiserating or having the conversation, not commiserating, having the conversation with my guys, be like, hey, can we do this?
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: And she's like, yes, absolutely, let's do this, let's teach her, um, so I just I love, I love that, the, the, that woman, oh my gosh, I should just bring her in and talk to her.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: But yeah, in the middle of that checklist asking me, how does this feel?
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: So that was like finally and this was relatively recently the big I'm going to say slap on the wrist that I needed to just let it flow and let the evidence come that spirit feels they need to provide, which for a control freak like me, is very hard to let go and it's very uncomfortable for me.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: So I've learned to just step back and let it flow and I've I've honestly like dedicated doing this in my last, the readings that I've done in the last, like two, two, three weeks, two weeks, and it's just been really interesting letting that energy flow from spirit and letting it just naturally again create that story and that flow and where is it supposed to be and what evidence do they wanna bring through and trusting spirit that they're gonna bring forward, exactly what my client needs to hear for evidence and for validation and for the message, because we don't know Like, and I think that's the biggest aha moment, that's the epiphany, because we, as mediums, we see a lot of people like, like I just said, we see patterns and we almost need to like break the patterns, because once we create, once we notice the pattern, the brain, you know, cements it.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: And then you have to like almost undo it through a lot of this readings, because when you see the same things over and over again, when you see a grandmother grandmother, that's a great cook, like, like, loves to bake, loves to bake, grandma, loves to bake, loves to bake, and like, this is, I'm going to say, the generic evidence that we get.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: But when, when a spirit grandma comes through and she sees, I see her pulling muffins out of the oven yeah, she's a great, she's a great baker, right, and I have to say what I'm getting, because I have to trust spirit.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: But we don't know what kind of skeletons people have in their closets, right, we don't know if this is a good person or a bad person.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Just because they're a grandma doesn't mean they're a good person, right, and I say this and everyone's like well, duh, but when, when 99% of your clients are coming to talk to their beloved grandma, you get stuck in your head that my clients have beloved grandmas and you don't let you.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: You jump to go.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: So I am officially done minus names.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pressure them with wanting specific evidence from my spirit team.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: So if you are a client of mine and you're wondering why I don't do the checklist, this is exactly why because I trust your departed loved ones who you've asked to show up to give me what I need in terms of evidence and the message to make this session valuable for you.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: So I will promise to show up with integrity, like I always do.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I promise to show up and work my best.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I will show up as my best, um, but I'm going to leave it up to the spirit team and I generally know the evidence that I like to give.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to let them choose.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let them choose what, what and what order and when they want to bring information in, and we're just going to go with the flow.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And I think this is the beauty of working with spirit is having things evolved.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: That sounded past tense, having things evolve in a way that is really changing the face of mediumship, the culture of mediumship, because I think we're past proving this is real.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I think we are, and I think I forget that in my client sessions because I feel like I want to prove myself to every client that I'm not crazy and that this is real and this is your loved one, and that the dead are actually talking to me.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: But again, that brings in the social stigma.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: So I think the biggest thing that I can do as a medium, that you can do if you're a medium, is let spirit lead and trust, and that is going to open you up to a world of possibilities in your reading.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Stay tuned, I'll let you know how this goes.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: All right, that's all I had.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your time today.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: I hope this was insightful.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: If you are a client that loves the checklist, let me know.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: If you are a medium that likes the checklist, I'd like to hear that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Or vice versa, right, if you, if you're a client or a medium that prefers not the checklist and you want to feel your loved one and not just get the list of things that they were, then uh, yeah, I'd love to hear your perspective on this.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: All right, I.