Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / 6 or a 7? What I'm Learning About Self-Awareness at College | a conversation with Payge Wicks

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6 or a 7? What I'm Learning About Self-Awareness at College | a conversation with Payge Wicks · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast, the Enneagram for Real Life.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Here is where you'll find conversations where faith meets story and strategy for lasting transformation.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Amy Wicks, here to help you find wisdom and wholehearted rhythms for moments that matter most.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're learning your type or deepening your spiritual formation, these conversations will remind you that the Enneagram shines a light, but Christ is the transformation.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, for this Enneagram 7 month, I get to have the privilege of doing something a little bit different, a little bit extra, because, well, I'm a seven and yeah, this is my podcast.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought I would bring a unique guest to this series.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And today's guest is bringing not only her formation work that she's done, but her Enneagram 7 perspective and a unique perspective of using the Enneagram and even some of her spiritual formation work as a college student.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: So today I'm so excited to have my daughter, Paige, back on the podcast for a follow-up conversation that really we started two years ago.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Paige, I'm so excited you're willing to do this with me today.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: I am so, so glad to be back.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe it's been two years already.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: That blows my mind.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I know it has gone by fast, and yet there were some moments that did drag on.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me a little bit.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sit with us again and invite us into the what you've learned maybe about yourself over the last two years, or kind of bring us up to date where you thought you were two years ago and where you are now in your Enneagram journey.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think I walked into this new season of life as trying to debate between whether I was an Enneagram 7 or an Enneagram 6.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: I when I was much younger, I tested, did all the questions and stuff, and I was leaning towards being an Enneagram 7, which just surprised me because my mom and I are very similar in our love for spontaneity and for fun and for planning and thinking about the future, yeah, the experiences and yeah, lots of future thinking.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, like being excited for both of those things.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then I think as I got older, my more maybe self-critical side was came out and more anxious.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: I got more anxious.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started thinking about oh, I don't know, maybe my seven is a wing that happens to be very influential because my mom is a seven, and then we can grow be spurred on by each other in that way.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, and so I started questioning that, and it's been very interesting to see and experience myself and my personality independently without my family, without my mom, and kind of discover who I am in the season of growth and new challenges and new adventures.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I definitely have come back to that wondering like that seven identity.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't say identity, I guess identity of like seven lens, yeah.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: The seven lens of feeling like maybe my six wing is a very, very strong wing, but it is not something that um totally defines me, and going back to my love for the next thing and the future and excitement and planning of the next fun thing and spontaneity, and also just loving the adventure of different experiences, but also my sixth side is strong enough where I'm I too find myself being too nervous to do something too crazy, um, or say it past my old grandma bedtime, and you know, keeping myself from those experiences, but learning to grow in my seven personality and experience those and just take the moment to do something fun.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: If I even if I don't fully want to, I'll never regret it, and kind of like living in the moment and doing something different.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: As we continue to unpack the six or seven conversation, which I know has been a funny meme as of late.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we're we're starting to go in the sunset era of the six-seven joke, but the question is real, and there's been a lot of awesome opportunity for you to have the reflection and get a little bit more inquisitive and curious about your lens or your motivations and fears and all of that.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: But real quick, give us an update as well, personally, where you are in the college journey, some general feelings.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna ask some advice questions later on in the conversation, but give us a little personal update where you are in your college journey and some of your current plans based on maybe what you thought you were gonna do a couple of years ago.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I am I just finished my junior year of my undergrad.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm now gonna start my senior year this fall, which blows my mind.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: I did a year in high school, which I would recommend to anyone if yes, a year of dual enrollment.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Dual enrollment in high school, because that knocked out a whole year for me, which was so great.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I am still doing GCU and loving it so much and just grateful for all the things that I'm learning and continuing to be further inspired in my passion for psychology and then in the end, counseling and just loving my professors and the classes and the things that I'm learning, and also interesting and feeding this love for counseling.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had originally thought I was gonna maybe do some marriage and family therapy, mental health counseling with the emphasis in that, but um, with some guidance from my professors and also some deciding that I don't want to do another four years of grad school.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Factor.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking gonna do just a mental health counseling master's and kind of get the basis degree so I can maybe be a school counselor or I can do my own private practice or work with others or do more beyond that.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to do EMDR in the future.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's such a helpful therapy technique, and yeah, that's kind of where I am, blown away that I have one more year of my undergrad left.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say, of course, I'm so proud of you.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really wild that you had this inclination in your latter years of high school, which you did graduate early from high school as well.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that so it lends us to be where you'll be 22, have a master's, and be ready to go out in the world, which is youngish in that sort of realm.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: But uh you had this inclination, this desire to go this direction, and you've pretty much stuck to it.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really phenomenal.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think it'll be fascinating to watch this unfold or even see how it manifests exactly from a seven lens.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's not typical to have this innate desire and clarity at your age and then to be continuing to go for it.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious because that that is a trait that a lot of sevens are known for, which is, I should back up and say, consistency and sticking to it and a follow-through is not a trait that a lot of sevens are known for.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do you think you defy the odds or what is it about the Enneagram seven that you see has actually contributed to your staying power and how you've gone about this journey?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know there's a lot of different elements that I see, but I'd be curious to hear your point of view.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's not like, you know, I definitely haven't thought about other things for sure.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I at one point thought about forensic psychology and going.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Which sounds so cool.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: It would be really cool.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: It'd be a lot, but it'd be super cool.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think in the idea of, you know, not wanting to be limited, which is something I do find myself struggling with, um uh, I think psychology was enough enough of a umbrella like degree.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: It opened up enough doors for me where I felt like if I did that and I enjoyed learning about personality and the brain and the human interaction with one another and within themselves.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: And if I found that interestingly, I could do basically whatever I wanted if I got a master's because psychology is not a good degree just to have you don't like it's not very employable just there.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, you don't typically don't stop there and you often go to master's, which means more money and more education.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: But for a nerd like me, I don't mind that.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: So sevens can be nerds.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Both of us are proof, yeah.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think it was just the idea that I knew if I did not enjoy what I was doing, if I knew that my options were not limited, I could take on and commit to this.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the Lord has continued to clarify and to confirm things for me, but also just the flexibility of my degree and of GCU in general, too, is what keeps me not feeling like, oh no, am I being backed into this?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And am I gonna be stuck in this degree?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: And am I wasting money on something I'm not gonna want to do or love to do or make money from?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think that was like the main thought for the the main answer for that question was I think psychology is enough of a one degree where I didn't feel limited.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And the idea of not wanting to be limited was is a very, you know, and you know, it's yeah, a hard thing for me.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: It made this staying more palatable and and from that desire for for knowledge in the in the realm of not from not as much as a five has a quest for knowledge to be able to have all the information and not being seen as inadequate.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think you and I pursue knowledge as a form of entertainment and expansion and opportunity.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just interesting.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's an insatiable desire to learn more because it's exciting and exhilarating and fascinating.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just as a side note have really loved going back to school, reading pages, notes.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: She does, she's a beautiful note taker.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had so much fun geeking out and reading her notes from class that she shares with me.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we've even had time sitting down and drawing analogies from her psychology classes to Enneagram.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a maybe someday we're gonna do a whole series on tying the two together, which there's so many overlaps.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I also wanted to speak to or give time to is the staying power that you have had to dig deep for as a seven when you have been homesick or when you've maybe wanted to quit, not necessarily because of the hard of the coursework that that has been true or the effort you have to put into it, the discipline, but the actual staying power, because there's been pain in this transition and there's difficulties with friendships or not, or lack of opportunity or opportunity.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe what's been a grounding rhythm or scripture or how has your connection with the Lord even played into the staying through something that has been somewhat painful and not always easy?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: People who ask me, does she like it there?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Is GCU good?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And and how is she doing so far away?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, it's amazing because I've seen her grow so much because she has stayed, even though it's hard, even though she's homesick.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's been that good to stay, but also I know it's some work you've done.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: To be totally honest, I wouldn't say there's like a defining thing that has really um helped me stay there.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's been a multiple, multiple things that have really encouraged me.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I I think my first of all, my parents' encouragement to just, you got it, you're doing great, this is an experience for you, and like we're proud of you.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: That is very encouraging to me, and that is something that drives me, I would say, every day.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then also my friends, when friendship is good, it is like they are truly some of my other favorite people besides my family.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: I would say I'm so grateful for the community I have there.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and also I love a rhythm of independence in some way.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is fun.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like the experience is really fun.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: If I pretend that I'm not 18 hours away from home, then that helps.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but also I would say my mom and I um text basically every single day.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: She keeps me updated with the family and all the things.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I still feel like I'm a part of the life at home, which helps a lot for whatever reason.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: Still feeling like I'm a part of something at home helps keep me grounded and like, okay, I have something at home that I know and I I have purpose.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if I'm feeling frustrated about something at school or whatever, I know that I have interesting.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: So there's there's something about that that's driving.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Of like, I'm not, I think it's almost the idea of FOMO of like I don't want to miss out on what's here.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: So you keeping me updated or me feeling like I'm still a part of the family in some way, even though I'm like 18 hours away, is a very driving thing of like, okay, I can not worry about missing something important at home.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: My mom will tell me, my sister will tell me, my dad will tell me, like, I can still feel part of it.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I might not be there in body and um experiencing these things for myself, but if I'm still somewhat a part of it, I don't know.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: It just feels yeah, it feels grounding in some way.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, and then I would say a last thing on that is it's been really fun to develop my own relationship with the Lord and my own rhythm with him and finding my time and being responsible for that and taking accountability for what I do and how much time I spend with him and yeah, how I'm engaging with the Lord, and then also creating a church community and finding people at a church that I love to go to and get to serve in.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have a purpose there as well.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, those are kind of like the thoughts that come to my mind.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I it was so interesting because I thought of this just even right before you said it, but that FOMO piece, and I think it's a little bit fresher in my mind as I have been uh editing again and again my book, um The 10 edits it takes.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I maybe would have said no to that process.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: But but the the theme of the seven chapter is really the wrestle the seven has with FOMO, in the sense of the seven literally thinks that somehow they can be in more than one place at once.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so they uh a seven, and even I've seen some of this with A is maxing every moment out and spreading yourself so thin in order to not miss a thing and miss a moment, miss a person.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And for you and I, we really value relationships, so not missing out on an aspect of relationship.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's interesting that the Lord gave me the bandwidth, the idea, the inspiration, or whatever, call it, like to continue to keep you posted and me having at least the gift to be able to communicate that.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's not easy for every parent because of time or bandwidth or skill set.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the fact that I can articulate and give you that gift of, hey, this is what's going on, so you can feel part of it, even though you're not here present.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can have a leg in each, you know, yeah, world.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, uh, which is interesting.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I likewise feel that same if I know what's happening.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's an extension of our relationship still happening.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And some element.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: So kind of an interesting thought for a seven or for someone who's listening that knows a seven lap.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is something that is constantly going on.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or I think the planning is how can we do all the things or be with all the people all at one time and say no as little as possible?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's no fun.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, one I would one thread of thought here, because you talked about getting involved in church community, getting to know the Lord better, nurturing that.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Is there an aspect of God or is there something you have found about God that you didn't know at 18 or you actually left home at 17, but that you know now that you maybe didn't know before that has developed over the last two years or that you're beginning to see?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay if it's not fully formed.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just curious what has stood out to you.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, honestly, it's uh he's your best friend, truly.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's cheesy, but it's true.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's so true.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is like he he will literally never fail you, and he is always present.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: And the idea of like being able to talk to him if I'm driving in the middle of Phoenix, some of the worst roads ever.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I know scary.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Downtown Phoenix is uh different.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I know that I can like just be like, okay, Lord, I just need to chat for a little bit if no one's there to chat with me, and just like creating that personable relationship with him and like creating that idea of friendship with him, obviously still respecting his his godliness and his being my father, but kind of that one-on-one idea, and that everything will be okay.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like he he truly helps give me determination.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like that's good, godly determination, because sometimes I'm like, I don't can't do this anymore.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Perseverance become yeah, perseverance.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: He truly like gives you that that drive and that uh gives me that drive and the perseverance to finish my paper or finish get through the weekend or get through my work shifts or get through a mailroom service hours.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: Get through painful things, can we just be honest?
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they're painful, yeah, and things I don't want to do.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or like things I'm dreading, or get through the four weeks until I get to see my family, or I get to go home, or I get to go on this trip.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: So it's truly like um seeing how the Lord provides, gives me perseverance, but I know I cannot do it by myself.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes I'll be like, wow, I can't believe that I just did that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was able to knock this paper out in two hours, or that I was able to wait four weeks and not dread every second, trying to like wait for the last minute, because I often find myself just waiting for the next moment and forgetting and wasting those other moments.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that is that'll preach, daughter of mine.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: I almost called you a sister because I'm sorry, as I do.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, talking about roommates, friendships.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: I would just like to say as a the power of a praying parent is this not everything that you pray for pans out how you want.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is an answer to prayer that was above and beyond what I could ask for or imagine.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that was your original group of roommates.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: There has been a little bit of change here or there, nothing horrible.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been different.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: But you started out with girls who had similar values, beliefs, uh, faith in the Lord, relationship with the Lord, who weren't too crazy one way or another.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: And you guys formed a really quick fast bond.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: They just, I even think about moving you in, and we were emotional wrecks, but it was so relieving to see the immediacy of which they grafted you into their little family of three that had already friendship from high school.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: So there's been a lot to navigate in all of that.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: But I think particularly I wanted to say, praise be to God, because he put you in a very pleasant place.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: That was such a gift.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: But what has been surprising about your seven wiring in context of friendships, relationships, roommates, what maybe have you even learned that might be different than what some people assume Enneagram sevens do or think or feel?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: I would say like that idea of fear missing out on the moment with someone in their relationship that I have with them is something that, you know, I'm like, oh man, I would love to hang out with her.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I uh don't want to miss out and even sitting on the couch and waiting for people to hang out if we're watching a movie, or even if it's just we're all scrolling together on the couch or all just watching a random show together, it's like dance moms or something, like that those moments of you know not wanting to miss out on time together.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And also they I would say they encourage me in my spontaneity sometimes because I'm usually like I just want to be in bed or I'm so tired or I don't feel so I don't feel up for something crazy, and they do a good job of spraying me on in my spontaneity and getting out of my comfort zone.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And they honestly make me more adventurous, uh, which is something I'd be surprised at because I maybe typically am more the adventurous person, like for my friends at home that I had in high school.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was more the adventurous one, but they definitely uh out they overshadow or they out they outshine and it makes me even more spontaneous and more adventurous and helps me try new things and yeah, yeah.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: That speaks to the desire for security for a seven in a different way that maybe is not always seen because I think it's true here at home, you have no problem being adventurous, and not you're not an extrovert, you're more of an introvert, but it's safe, it's familiar.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's security, there's a a comfortable landing place here at home to come back to.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas in Phoenix, your roommates are all from Phoenix.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: So they know the area, they've grown up there, it's familiar, they have their homes down the road.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not as insecure as it probably feels for you.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I bet that plays onto it and it would be a little bit different.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: I know Enneagram has had its moment and it's been a fun tool on Instagram.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of your peers are familiar with Enneagram and have some idea of it.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's not totally unfamiliar.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's obviously one of many self-awareness tools.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And depending on your field of study or your professor, you may have a college student will typically do some sort of personality assessment.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, you and I love Enneagram at a large scale.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Six Working Genius has also been incredibly helpful as we've gone through this process.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: What would what advice would you give or what insight do you have to offer about using self-awareness tools or staying awake to your motivations and desires?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: How has that served you as a college student and why would it be valuable to invest some time that way?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, um obviously as a future psychologist or counselor, I take all of those tests.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I definitely hear about a lot about why I do things or why I am the way I am.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: But honestly, those tools are very helpful because I'm learning um not only how to interact within, you know, in my brain and how I respond to things, but also how other people respond to things.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Not I'm not typing people left and right, or like especially my friends, I'm not gonna do that.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: But it's um helpful to know how I respond to them or how or why I'm responding to this, you know, conflict because it will happen with other people.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um you live that closely, it's bad.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: If you yeah, if you exactly if you live with someone, it's bound to happen.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I think being self-aware enough to know if I made a mistake in a relationship or how I talked to someone or how I acted with someone and being able to own up for that is really helpful because it continues to keep a relationship very healthy.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it it's such a helpful tool to know how I'm motivated to do my homework or why am I so soggy today?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I sad because I'm because I'm dreading tomorrow and I'm feeling frustrated and feeling limited on my fun options or on all the things, or even when it comes to my food, if I'm not excited for dinner and I'm feeling limited on my options, then I'm like not really motivated to do much because I don't have the looking forward to a yummy meal that I would really love.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I would say like the being self-aware and knowing yourself, but also knowing how others might affect you or those little things is just very helpful because um even helps me in my classroom if I'm feeling overwhelmed or super anxious about something.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can usually get to the bottom of it, whether it's like something is heavy on my heart because I learned something very sad or I had a bad interaction with people today, and I'm like, why is my why is my dude feeling so awful?
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, wow, this relational issue is just having uh yeah, it's impact, it's impactful more than I realize.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: So it's helping me realize things that I I wasn't realizing, you know?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Those little details, I was like, oh, that makes so much sense why I'm so frustrated about this, or why this is this is making me anxious, or all these things.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's good.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Having my understanding myself also helps me realize how I interact with others and how others interact with me in some in some degree.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: So that's really good, really insightful.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: I want to turn the corner of the questions, a little bit of the theme, to not only maybe it's a little bit more serious, but along the lines of giving recent graduates advice and maybe some insight that you have gained from these last couple of years.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because we just saw your sister Haiti walk across the graduating stage.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was just looking at videos and pictures, and it was a memorable moment.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's a it was an epic moment actually that will live in the history of the school.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: We won't do spoiler alert here right now.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just kind of talk in general terms.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's fresh in our mind.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you could, if she would sit with you and hear all the things that you'd have to say, that doesn't always happen with younger sisters.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: But if you think of the person who maybe just did and maybe their mom is listening and you could help them pass along some advice, what wisdom insight would you offer?
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think first of all, the summer after your senior year of high school can be super fun and awesome.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say make the most of it and make a lot of money, but also hang out with the people you love at home and spend those extra moments with the people you care about at home because unless you're 30 minutes away from the house, those moments are sometimes few and far between.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: So like savor those change.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would say both I would say do a good job of anticipating, also anticipating those college experiences, being excited and dreaming about your dorm room and preparing for all the fun things you're gonna do, but also for all the learning you're gonna do.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and just for the experience itself.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say that coincides of living in the moment, but also do a good amount of anticipating.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah because it just builds up the experience because college is truly one of the funnest times you can have, even though there are lots of studying and homework things to do, you know.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, responsibilities.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you do become an adult.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's so much joy and extra space and time in college that you won't get in the rest of your life.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: So savoring that would you say that versus maybe some dread that you had or fear around the leaving, or because you know, saying that advice in hindsight, was there a contrast for you that you wish you had anticipated it more, or you were glad that you anticipated as much as you did because it's met your expectations?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would say I was glad I anticipated as much as I did, because I was definitely there was part of me that was not ready at all and couldn't fully wrap my mind around the fact that I was moving away from home.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so, um Yeah, because you can't quite picture it.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, you really can't.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: I did a good amount of dreading, if I'm if I'm being honest, and worrying about being anxious, I say, is mostly what I was is being anxious about the next step.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I uh looked at Pinterest at room ideas and honestly, I looked at vlogs of other college goers and like watched their experience to like that was helpful dream about mine.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I think it was a little bit of a both dread and anticipation, if I'm being totally honest.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, yeah, I was I was also really glad to pour time into connecting with my roommates.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: If you're living with someone you don't know, if they are engaging in conversation with you to like really begin to build that relationship as much as possible.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was glad I got to know my roommates and somewhat before I got there and then got to know them further as I now live with them.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: So right.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I think just for the incoming college student, yes, is to enjoy each moment at home before school and also in in college and to do build a foundation of your own faith as well.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: So when you're there and you are left with actually the Val Victorian speech had a good idea, uh touched on this a little bit of building your own faith foundation.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: And because college can be a very hard and challenging time and testing very much for your own personal faith.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can begin to build that the summer of your senior year, even more if you have not yet.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, make your lukewarm faith just on fire for the Lord.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think the summer and continuing to do that is really healthy and helpful because then you have that foundation to stick on.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: If you are lonely, you know who to turn to, because you've had that trust and relationship built with the Lord between you and him.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if you are tempted or struggling through school, work, whatever, having that built relationship and something to you know you can lean on if your parents are not close by is truly something I I'm grateful for.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: I I felt like in the middle of high school, I started to really get in invest more time in my relationship with the Lord.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: I am definitely not perfect with it with that, but I think leaning into the relationship with the Lord as you step into the next chapter is just so, so important.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not valued enough, I think, or not emphasized enough.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's so wise.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think our a friend who's listening as a mom could be encouraged to hear you can still inspire your child to dig into the relationship with the Lord, and whether that's intentional conversations, meaningful moments that you share your faith or share your spiritual practices, encouraging them to do a Bible study together or join some sort of college group, even in this transitional liminal space that these few months are before launching, is uh just know there's still so much that you can do to encourage your young man or young woman's faith.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe you are listening because your parents sent you this conversation.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: I would just hear Paige's true testimony of that is the best thing that you can do and nurture, whether you're dreading school, whether it's fearful, whether you're you can't wait, or a mix of all of it, that is going to serve you really well.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: So well said.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Any last advice that you would like to offer or encourage us as we wrap up this conversation, whether it's are you six, are you seven, as part of it, or just um thinking about what you've learned these last couple of years, and just leave us with that last thought for today.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: I would say it's been such an amazing experience to grow in who I am as my own independent self and my own, you know, not that when I'm at home my parents are controlling all of my thoughts and actions and whatever.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: And like I'm my own person.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I hope not.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: But the idea of being not truly alone, but alone and and figuring things out mostly for yourself is so formative.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so grateful for the experience.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_01: No matter, even though I had to give up time being at home and being close to my family, um, listening to Lord's direction of where I'm supposed to go and where I'm supposed to be and doing, and how I am as an independent person has just been very eye-opening for just understanding who I am and growing to be better and um taking on the future because it's very, very close and taking getting a big girl job and all the things.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it's it's truly an amazing experience.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I know better now that I am in Indigram 7, but my sixth wing still is very a very impactful part of myself and influential.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's truly a beautiful new chapter that everyone can step into, and or incoming college students can step into and um discover something the Lord has for them in their future.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: This was so great, Paige.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing a little bit and giving uh my friend who's maybe heard you before on the podcast a few different times.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll link a few of those episodes so they can hear past conversations.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: But thanks so much for sharing, and I'm excited for a very eventful, spontaneous, and fun summer ahead.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for joining me for the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: If this conversation spoke to you, please share it with a friend.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can also visit simply wholehearted.com to take the free Enneagram quiz and also get your personalized podcast playlist specific for your Enneagram type.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, friend, your starting point doesn't have to be your stuff point.