Latest / Pathological Positivity / What is a Positive Mindset? – Episode #713
Transcript
- This is Live On Purpose Radio episode 713. What is a positive mindset? Now is the only time to create and live the life you love. I'm doctor Paul Jenkins, the positivity psychologist. My job is to connect you to powerful positive psychology principles that immediately upgrade your relationships, business, and mental health. Are you ready? Let's jump in. Hello, and welcome back to Live On Purpose Radio. This is doctor Paul the shrink who expands your life with another episode of Live on Purpose Radio. And I realized in our last episode, episode seven twelve, we talked about the benefits of a positive mindset. I didn't even take the time to define it very well. So let's dig into that today. What is a positive mindset? And if you're looking for someone to tell you to just be happy all the time or ignore the pain, you're in the wrong place. Let's get real about what a positive mindset actually is. By the end of this episode, you'll understand what positivity is from a psychological standpoint and what it isn't. So let's dispel three common myths first and then get into a powerful model that changes everything. Are you ready? First of all, those myths. Some think that positivity is a denial of reality or pretending that everything is peachy or being happy all the time about everything. Kind of blissfully ignorant. Do the actual challenges of reality. Those are three really common myths about positivity. That first one, denial of reality. I've had some pushback when I've done trainings or keynotes. Sometimes I'll get a little bit of pushback saying, well, that positivity is all just fine and good, but I am a realist. Meaning, I give more attention to the negative is what that comes down to. I had a client once say yes, and I'm an equal opportunity realist. Meaning, let's at least give equal time to the positive possibilities. Reality is not all negative. We tend to focus on one or the other, But the reality is that there's upsides and downsides to everything. And, yes, I mean everything. There are upsides and downsides to everything. And even there, we'll get some pushback sometimes. Doctor Paul, what could be the possible upsides to something like cancer? And I've used that as an example because we had a cancer journey here in our family with my son. Are there upsides? Oh, yeah. Are there downsides? Clearly and obviously. And that's why our our brain tends to focus on those first, you know, just from a purely brain function side of the argument, your brain's job is to keep you safe, and it's always safer to assume danger, risk, problems. Safer because then you can prepare, sometimes put yourself in position to protect yourself, whatever. It's safer to assume danger and be wrong than it is to assume safety and be wrong. So our brain's just doing its job. Pretending everything is peachy, I don't see how that helps anyone or how it ever has. Pretending that everything is peachy is part of that denial of reality, and that's just insane. Because when we do that, when we pretend that everything's okay and and just ignore the problems, that tends to be a very dismissive approach, and it irritates and annoys the other humans. It also doesn't put us in a good position to actually deal with the challenges that are coming or being happy all the time about everything. Positivity is not about feeling happy. I think there's a high correlation with experiencing more happiness in general when we have a positive mindset. But it's not about being happy all the time. I think psychological health includes an entire spectrum of human emotions and that we get to feel all of them. So it's not about being happy all of the time. So what is a positive mindset? And I might have missed some of the misconceptions. When you hear the word positivity, what comes to mind? And if you want to share some of your thoughts about this, I I would love to hear what you're thinking too, but I think I hit some of the main ones. Let's get into what positivity is. And for this, I like to start with the concept of metacognition. If you've been here very long, you've heard me talk about this before. And the the term metacognition is a psychobabble term. We make up words in psychology. It makes us feel smart and this is one of them. Metacognition. When you break it down, cognition is simply thinking. Metacognition is a higher level. It's thinking about thinking. This gets loopy fast, so be careful whether you can hurt yourself. But notice that you can do this. Thinking about our own thinking creates a powerful effect where it puts us into choice. Metacognition creates the space where choice exists, and awareness precedes choice. So this is a really important psychological tool that we can use to actually choose a positive mindset. Now once we turn on the metacognition, we get to go psychology. Alright? So let's get into the psychology behind what a positive mindset actually is. There are two important elements. And you you hear all the time, well, it's about what you think. Yes. And there are different kinds of thoughts that you're going to have that are relevant to a positive mindset. And the first set of thoughts that we're going to talk about are evaluation thoughts. The second set that we'll talk about are creation thoughts. What I'm talking about here is directly from the positivity model. And I'm going to give you a copy of this. If you don't have one, you need one. In fact, you can go over to liveonpurposeradio.com/positives. Positives, plural. What we've put together is a positivity power pack for you, and it includes a PDF version of the model that I'm sharing with you right now that you need to understand to comprehend what a positive mindset is all about. So on the model, you'll see that I've broken down these evaluation thoughts that's on the bottom half of the model and creation thoughts that's gonna be on the top half. So get the visual so that you can refer back to it. Again, that's positives. Go to liveonpurposeradio.com/positives, and we'll get that positivity power back in your hands. Now evaluation. Think about this for a minute. Turn on your metacognition and notice that you are constantly judging. Oh, yeah. You are. You're judging yourself, your family, your spouse, your kids. You judge the weather, the economy, the government. You're judging all the time. You're judging me, and that's cool. I'm judging you. We can't turn it off. We're humans. That's what we do. Our brains job is to keep us safe. And to do that, it has to constantly be judging or evaluating. K. So an evaluation question would be, is this good? Is this bad? Is this safe? Is this dangerous? And any evaluation question implies comparison with some standard. So is this safe, for example? Well, compared to what? Because some things are safer than others. And it could always be more safe, and it could always be less safe than whatever it is. So is this good? Well, it could always be better, and it could always be worse. The model is really clear about how this works, but I I I just for today's conversation, I just invite you to notice that you're constantly judging that judgment or evaluation implies comparison with a standard. And if you don't have one, you'll make one up. And you've got a really great imagination. You can always imagine something better. You can always imagine something worse. So a positive mindset is about choosing on purpose a positive position relative to what it is. Let me say that again. A positive mindset is all about choosing on purpose a position relative to what it is. And your position could be either positive or negative. Your position could be either, yeah, this is good. I'm good with this, or it could be, this is bad. I'm not okay with this. It's a choice. And remember, I said earlier, until you see it as a choice, it's not. Awareness precedes choice. And this is only half of what a positive mindset is all about. It matters because what you think about what it is, however you judge your current reality, creates an emotional energy. Think about it. When you believe that your life sucks, that and that's a belief, by the way. It's not a truth. It's not a circumstance. It's your judgment of your circumstance. And when you believe that your life is bad, what's the emotional energy that accompanies that? Well, duh. This is what we call depression. So I invite you to notice that. Well, what if you have a position that, yeah, my life is good? Okay. Also, not a circumstance. That's a judgment or an evaluation of your circumstance. But what emotional energy does it create? Very, very different. I call this emotional energy peace. A positive mindset is about choosing peace. Let me change that word. Making peace with what it is and what it has been. This creates an emotional energy that then we take to the second half of what a positive mindset is all about. The creation mode. And nothing that is to be created exists yet. I know. I'm stating the obvious here, but part of my job is to illuminate the obvious. What is to be doesn't exist yet. We haven't created it yet. So the only place it exists is in our mind. How are you doing next week? Now you don't know. Okay? A lot of people are like, well, I'm doing great next week. You don't know. You're guessing. Or you've got a position of, oh, things are gonna be so hard next week. Really? You don't know. You're guessing. You're predicting. You're anticipating. And all of that is imaginary. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm saying it's imaginary because it doesn't exist yet. So you're predicting, anticipating, expecting, but you don't know. Connect with that for a minute and notice that you even though you don't know, you've got a position about that. This is what a positive mindset is all about or negative mindset. Whatever your prediction is will reveal what direction it's going. So check it out. When you imagine, because you don't know, or predict or expect that what's coming is even worse than what you already have, how do you feel? This, my friends, is anxiety. And this is the psychological definition of anxiety. It's when we anticipate or expect that things will be worse. The the corresponding emotional energy for that is what I'm labeling anxiety, fear, apprehension, worry. I love the way Dan Zadra put this. He said worry is the misuse of imagination. And we do it all the time when we predict that bad things are coming. Now alternately, what happens when we predict or anticipate or expect that what's coming is even better than what we've already got. How do we feel? This is hope and hope is the number one preventative factor for suicide. That and I share that with you because we're losing far too many lives unnecessarily because of a chosen position. Positive mindset is not about denying reality. It is not about pretending everything's peachy or being happy all of the time. A positive mindset is understanding how to operate the equipment and choosing a position in both of those thought modes that serves you well. In evaluation, making peace with what it is, and in creation, putting yourself in position to anticipate and be part of creating an upgrade on what it is, but that doesn't exist yet. I do full day trainings with corporate groups and sales teams on creation mode. I know the factors that are involved there from a psychological standpoint, But it is so important to make peace with what it is before we can even move forward and create the upgrade from there. I hope that this puts a positive mindset in a more tangible place for you. This is not an ethereal kind of woo woo idea. This is solid psychology based on years, decades of clinical experience and research that is showing us that what we think matters. And I'm breaking that down for you into evaluation thoughts and creation thoughts. Both of which contribute to that positive position or attitude that we call a positive mindset. Did you find that helpful? I hope you did. Remember, I've got a positivity power pack for you ready to go. Live on purposeradio.com/positives, and we will be launching a new positives platform soon. Once you get your power pack, you'll be on the list to be notified as soon as we open the doors later this summer. Alright. We've heard it. Time to apply it. Let's go live on purpose. Did you get what you came for? Give yourself the gift of taking real action on what you realized today. Please share this episode with someone you know would value it, and leave us a rating too. It's time now to live on purpose.