Latest / YINWorldWide / The code you live by and what it cost you
Transcript
- Liv Yin: This is Yin. And these are conversations about discipline, direction, and identity, and how they quietly shape who you become. I want to apologize to you guys today before we start. I'm a little bit under the weather. Funny enough, this kind of goes into what this episode is going to talk about. my fiance asked me earlier today. She said, Why are you even filming? ⁓ She said, You can take some time off, people wouldn't notice, it'll be okay. And my response back to her was I made a promise to myself. I had a standard that I lived by that I'm gonna put out a new episode every week, no matter what. So this is Thursday. A new episode is coming out, no matter how I feel, even if nobody listens to this episode, because this could be the one episode somebody comes back to one day and it changes their lives. And that's what this is about. It's about nothing else other than that. It's not about me, it's not about money. It's about changing a life. So in today's episode, we're gonna talk about standards, the standards that you should live by, standards that you should have for your life. Not externally, but internally. And I think most people associate standards with what they accept from the world, what they'll tolerate, what they won't and what they demand from others. But you see, that's not where it starts. It really starts with you. The code you live by when no one is watching, the decision you make when there's nothing to gain, the way you treat people when it would be easier not to care. That's where your standards actually live. Not in what you say, not in what you post, not in what you claim to value, but in those quiet moments where no one else sees you except you. And whether you've defined that code or not, it's already shaping your life. But you can't define what you're building towards until you understand what's missing when you don't have it. Think about how someone treats a stranger, someone who can't do anything for them, the server at a restaurant, the person holding the door. Someone who makes a small mistake that inconveniences them. Watch how people respond in those moments. Because in those moments, people believe there's nothing on the line. No reputation, nothing to gain, and nothing to lose. And that's exactly why it reveals everything. The person who is patient, respectful, and kind, not because anyone is watching, but because that's just who they are, that's a standard. The person who is dismissive. short or entitled the moment they feel they have leverage over someone, that's a standard too. We don't get to choose which one we are in the moment. That choice was already made long before we walked into that room, because most of us aren't living by standards we consciously chose. We're living by inherited ones. Standards we absorbed from our environment, from the people around us, from whatever we were exposed to when we were growing up. And we carry the code forward Without ever stopping to ask, does this actually reflect who I want to be? And the cost of that is quiet. It doesn't show up all at once. It shows up in the relationships that never feel quite right, in the work that never feels like ours, the version of yourself that feels slightly off. That's what happens without standards, not chaos, not failure, just drift. And you don't become someone bad. You become someone undefined. So if that's the cost, what does it actually mean to have standards? Because I think most people have the wrong definition entirely. Standards aren't rules. They're not a checklist. They're not a routine. They're not the things you say out loud. Standards are private decisions about who you are, how you treat people, not just the ones who can do something for you, but everyone, the people you'll never see again. The people who can't offer you anything. That's a standard. How you respond when things don't go your way, when you're frustrated, when you're tired, and when you're disappointed. Do you become someone else in those moments? Or do you remain yourself? What you're willing to do and what you're willing not to do, the lines you draw, not because someone told you where they should be, but because you decided. And that's your code. Standards are the quiet architecture of who you become. And here's what the architecture actually does to you over time, because the effect goes deeper than most people realize. Standards don't just shape behavior, they shape identity. When you hold yourself to a code consistently, quietly without needing anyone to acknowledge it, you start to know yourself. You know what you stand for, you know what you'll tolerate and You know what you'll walk towards and what you walk away from. And that clarity changes everything. Because without that, you're asking the world to tell you who you are. And the world will answer through pressure, through trends, through convenience, through whatever is easiest in the moment. But when you have a standard, you stop negotiating with every situation. You already know who you are. Your standards become the mirror. The one you hold up to yourself privately, honestly, every day. But knowing that is one thing and living it is another, because maintaining your standards especially consistently will cost you something. And I think it's time to be honest about what standards cost you. There will be moments where it would be easier to lower them, to cut corners in how you do something or how you treat someone. To let yourself off the hook to become a lesser version of yourself because the situation seems to allow it. And no one may ever know. No one is grading you. No one is keeping score. But you know. And that knowing compounds. Every time you hold your standard when it costs you something, you reinforce who you are. Every time you abandon it because it's convenient. You erode something, and you erode something quietly over time. So the question isn't whether you have standards. We all have standards. The question is whether you chose them or whether you inherited them. Because the life you build, the relationships you form, the person you become will all reflect the code you live by, whether that code is conscious or not. Your life doesn't rise to your goals. It settles at your standards. So define them, own them, and live quietly. This is Yin. If this resonated, share with someone who needs to hear it. Not everyone, just someone who's ready. You can find Yin Worldwide Podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. If you want to go deeper, visit our website at liveyin.com. That's www.live e yin.com. Subscribe if you're committed to the work. If not, that's fine too. This isn't for everyone. Remember, move with attention.