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4. Common Questions About Family Constellations · Constellations and all that...

• 0:04
  Kia ora and welcome to Constellations and All That.
• 0:07
  I'm your host Tracy Cartwright and we will be chatting with facilitators and clients from around the globe, hearing about constellations from all perspectives and anything else that might want to pop into the field while we're sharing.
• 0:22
  I hope you enjoy this series as much as I have enjoyed creating it.
• 0:26
  So sit back and enjoy.
• 0:32
  Hey, so today I'd just like to share with you a few of the common questions that I'm asked with family constellations.
• 0:39
  One of them is, do I have to bring my family with me?
• 0:44
  The answer is no.
• 0:46
  It just takes one member of the family to open their heart a little bit or have some new awareness or some clarity, maybe find some insight and resolution to a piece of work.
• 0:58
  But you don't need to bring your whole family.
• 1:01
  I have worked with families and I've worked with couples, but it's not a necessity.
• 1:07
  Yeah, another thing is, well, what if my family doesn't talk?
• 1:11
  What if they don't, if we don't talk together?
• 1:15
  That's okay.
• 1:16
  If you are coming with an open heart and a willingness to explore the work, then you'll be able to see what shifts may or may not occur.
• 1:26
  Open communication for your family in the future.
• 1:28
  But I have seen some pretty amazing things happen with, with constellations, and doors have opened for people that were very unexpected.
• 1:37
  And I think earlier in the earlier program, Maria shared how she had someone who was receiving a phone call from their father in India while they were actually in a constellation workshop, and they hadn't spoken for months, maybe even years.
• 1:51
  You never know how this is going to, Actually affect or ripple out to the family.
• 1:56
  We talk about it as though if you could imagine that you're dropping a pebble into the pond and there's the ripples that roll out throughout the family system.
• 2:07
  So when we've completed or we've had a constellation, whether it's been a full resolution or just the insights that have dropped in, it does create ripples in your family pond.
• 2:19
  And if you allow them to settle, it Things come through a whole lot more easeful.
• 2:26
  Sometimes other members of the family will feel the ripples and they might feel them like waves or maybe just like gentle little ripples in their own system as well.
• 2:38
  Often asked, how long does it take?
• 2:40
  Well, how long is a piece of string?
• 2:42
  So when you come to me for a one on one, I usually allow two to two and a half hours, usually within two hours, but we give a little bit of extra time just in case.
• 2:52
  Thanks.
• 2:53
  And if you come to a workshop you could expect to do a constellation with anywhere from 20, 20 minutes, 40 minutes, maybe even just over an hour.
• 3:04
  I think every constellation is different and sometimes and in workshop a constellation can go for a bit longer depending on how how sticky or how stuck the whole system is.
• 3:15
  Another question is, is it better to come in person or to a workshop?
• 3:20
  Well, that depends.
• 3:21
  Some people prefer to come in person and just to have a one on one because they're feeling shy about what it is that they, they want to look at.
• 3:30
  It feels something that they don't want to share in public.
• 3:34
  And other times, you know, People are happy to come to a workshop.
• 3:39
  It's really an individual's choice on whether you want to sit on the outside of your family system, which you would do in a workshop.
• 3:47
  So you would allow, you would invite others to represent for you, or resonate, or hold space, whatever.
• 3:56
  There's a lot of different terms for it.
• 3:57
  So someone else is standing in for you.
• 4:00
  And maybe if it's something that you're looking at with your mother or your father, you'd have someone else to represent or resonate for them.
• 4:07
  So you get to sit on the outside and you see it from a different angle of what's happening in your family system.
• 4:15
  So that's in a workshop and in a one on one with me, whether if it's online, then there are different techniques that we can use.
• 4:23
  Potentially use an app.
• 4:25
  There's a few different applications that we can use to with figurines on them, or we may use an altar, so pieces of paper and objects sitting on the pieces of paper.
• 4:40
  And doing it virtual, or I would invite the person to stand and feel into the space.
• 4:49
  So using inert objects that they have around the place.
• 4:52
  It might be that they use their drink bottle to hold space for one thing, a pen for something else.
• 4:59
  Maybe they've got a crystal lying around or a pillow or a book, and they're going to use that as another object.
• 5:07
  Those are as other objects, right?
• 5:10
  So when you come in person with me, I have these beautiful vinyl discs that we stand on.
• 5:16
  We place them around the room as placeholders, and then we work with them.
• 5:22
  So sometimes you'll also, you may get on my Massage table and I do a constellation as I'm doing some energy work, so it's always very different and it's, if you're unsure, I highly recommend jumping on a connection call with me just to see what is the right fit for you.
• 5:44
  What sort of things do I need to do to come and prepare?
• 5:50
  On my website there is a PDF on my resources page and it's called Before a Constellation.
• 5:57
  And there are, there is a list of things that happen quite frequently in family systems.
• 6:05
  So if you're curious, jump on my website and have a look.
• 6:08
  You might know the answers, you might not know the answers.
• 6:11
  It may open up an opportunity to have a conversation with another family member.
• 6:17
  And if you're adopted and you don't know any of the answers, that's absolutely fine as well.
• 6:21
  Because, or if all your family members are unavailable.
• 6:25
  What it's doing is it's giving permission for your field, your family system, to open up, to receive a constellation as well.
• 6:34
  So, that's kind of preparing for it.
• 6:37
  I do encourage people to make sure that they bring the right information.
• 6:41
  They drink lots of water.
• 6:43
  Just to notice that sometimes things wind up or amp up a little bit before coming to see me.
• 6:49
  So if you've got something that's going on that's really frustrating you, it may get a little bit more frustrating, um, just as things are getting a little bit more intense.
• 6:58
  Just knowing that it's part of what's coming can often be really relieving for people just to Lean into that and know that, okay, it's just my field expanding a bit for, for the constellation.
• 7:12
  Another question is, how many times do I come?
• 7:16
  Well, that depends.
• 7:19
  Some of us have got many, many, many layers and sometimes one constellation can have more than one layer in it and some, and then.
• 7:31
  As we peel back a layer, there might be something else, and another layer, and another layer, because we are perpetual onions, right?
• 7:39
  And some people only need to come once or twice.
• 7:43
  Some people feel like they've come once and that's enough.
• 7:46
  So it's really an individual's choice.
• 7:49
  When you come, I always allow a space of time between the next appointment.
• 7:56
  So I would not, I would not advise someone to come every week for a Constellation.
• 8:02
  It's just too much, too much for your system.
• 8:05
  I try to space my, the Constellations out at least monthly.
• 8:11
  And sometimes people come in between that to me, they'll get on my table and have their bars read, um, done, which are the points on the head, or an energy clearing, or maybe a sound healing, so, you know.
• 8:26
  Anyway, I'm going to leave it there, I hope that's been helpful for whoever needed to hear that today, and look forward to sharing a little bit more information with you again in the future.
• 8:36
  Take care.
• 8:38
  Thank you for listening.
• 8:39
  Head over to Instagram and tell me what's resonated for you with this episode.
• 8:44
  You'll find me at tracy.
• 8:46
  cartwright.
• 8:47
  That's tracy with no e.
• 8:49
  cartwright.
• 8:50
  And or head over to my website tracycartwright.
• 8:54
  co.
• 8:54
  nz and receive a free audio with the gift from your ancestors.
• 9:00
  So until next time, be kind to yourself and have fun doing it.