Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: The art of communication

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: The art of communication · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: Crank call from Darren Wackhead, something exclusive the KFM mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: So calling a mature gentleman this morning, Grandpa. No, no, no,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: not not grandpa, just just just a bit older six,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: just a bit younger than grandpa. But I still the
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: fox sexy year it to Oprah. Yeah, so this is
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a I mean, how many times a day do you
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: make a phone call and you can't hear the person?
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: This is a common part of daily life, all right.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: We had that this morning on the twenty k popers
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: called the person back, still couldn't hear muffled voice. So
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: is it the phone? Is that the phone speakers at
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: the microphone? What is it? Is it? The line? Is
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: the quality of line? What is it? But you got
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: to phone somebody to get it fixed? You got a
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: phone and query. I've never thought of phoning anybody to say, hey,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: can you pick my line? It just doesn't work like that.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: And he doesn't quite understand that, all right, Like, just
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: send the technicians out. This is a cell phone. The
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: technicians are going to rock up in their white van
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: with the ladder on the roof and say, okay, where's
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: your phone, give us an hour, we'll fix it. Don't
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: work like that, all right, So the problem might be
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: within and that's where I'll go as the best customer
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: relation I'm actually a customer relations expert.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Actually an expert, and you work in so many different
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: fields and industries.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I'm a customer relations expert in not solving the problem. Yes, okay,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: escalate exactly. So let's escalate his situation.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Hello, good day.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for mister Hi. It's Johanna. I'm calling you
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: from I believe you've been having a few problems.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: There's a couple of things that are not functioning and
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: working the way they should be working.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Okay. Now, so basically it's breakups that we're talking about,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: that's correct, Yes, if you.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and when you'd every second word you're talking is
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: try against okay, and you're saying right now, try against okay.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: It seems yeah, something's gone wrong with the something is wrong.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like it's definitely from your side, my
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: side right.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Now when your phone me is coming in via dot com.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: So let me just understand this. When when people are
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: talking to you, do they sometimes not understand what you're saying?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Is it a bit of a breakup and stuff, because
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I've detected and let me try
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: to be polite. Sir, Do you enunciate your words properly?
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: So are you I mean, are you asking me if
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: I talk clearly? Or you're talking about a technical problem
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: there as well?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, no, if you do talk clearly, say because I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: must submit. Sometimes I do battle to hear exactly what
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: you say.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Do me a favor. I'm finding this call rather insulting.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: I'm finding this call not to my liking. I don't
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: know who you are or when your creicular position.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I'm top of the tree.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, fantastic.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I can't understand. It's like your slurring, sir.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, but your lines are faulty.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I understand it's twelve o'clock where you're drinking. Said hello,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: And if you ask.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Me if I'm drunk, I'm not drunk. Along the way there,
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: get your masters over here, see me face the pace
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: and talk to me.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, So look right now, it's twenty to one. Okay,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: you could have come back from a long lunch and
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: those speech is a little bit slurred.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: I don't know, okay, it's kind of it's kind of quitomously.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: I've got a lobody home there. I want to resolve
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: to work. Please for a person that's anything your top
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: of the tree. You ask me if I'm drunk, if
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: I'm drunk along the way, and am I saying my
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: words and whatever? Please do you a favor. Just talk
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: to me.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: You haven't been drinking. Okay, let's just clear that up.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Please continue.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: It's not an embarrassment. If you do have such a
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: speech impediment, it's nothing to be worried about.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: You mother, good morning, Hi mister.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Yea a problem they're regarding the I can't I can't
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: understand you, sir.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: You can't understand me?
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Now? Can you speak clearly? Please enunciate? Can you try again?
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's kind of kind of kind of, kind of
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: kind of funny because if you if you're not taking
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: the trouble to want to listen to me at all.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: There.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm telling you clearly, it's a lot. I'm speaking
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: to my cell phone and it's stool a bad signal
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: that you can't get me. I'm sorry to hear that.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: You know what can I do to help improve the
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: quality of a communications?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Well, so, like I said, we could start with a
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: bit of speech therapy would help.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Wonderful, wonderful, that's a really good suggestion, thank you very much.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: The altimat is part of your inclusive sales price in
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: your in your in your contract.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: So listen. Well, what I'm hearing from you is something
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: like what do you.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Do?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm hearing from you, sir.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Shame what ah?
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: That's what I get? Okay, repeat after me. Why don't
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: we start with the vowels first? Okay? I hello, miss
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: yes wicked Simpson.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Wonderful that you're really great men. I listen to your
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: show a lot and what opens to hum there as well?
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: What what a I mean? There was nobody top of
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: the t would find me a blowing my drunk and
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I'm staring there as well. You do a good job,
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: but turn over there every day.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, So now can we try punctuation commas and the
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: full stops? What a ride? Yes? I don't know what
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: it is. The technology advances, but we still deal with
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: broken phone calls. What is it?
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: It's a really quite comforting to know that, you know,
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: some problems will forever remain and cannot be fixed.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: It's okay, it's fine. You needn'