Latest / The Inspired Speaker Network / Stop Trying to Be Someone Else: The Power of Authenticity

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Stop Trying to Be Someone Else: The Power of Authenticity · The Inspired Speaker Network

• 0:00
  Hey everybody, are you having a great day? Yes! Oh no, you're not? It's okay, I got you.
• 0:07
  I'm TiF Loeffler. Welcome to Positively Yours. I'm going to share tips, tips, techniques, and a little bit of magic to help you up level and have a great day every day.
• 0:18
  Are you ready to get started? Yeah! Oh, you're not? That's okay, I still got you. Let's go.
• 0:27
  Welcome back everybody. I am delighted to be here today and jumping right in with my tip for the day on how to have a great day every day.
• 0:37
  And I do mean every day this is so important and I am going to dial right in to the women in business who are entrepreneurs and they are so excited and they've got their laptop or their hard drive or hey, even your phone.
• 0:55
  And there's this thing about sitting down for quite a long time and I will tell you my tip for the day revolves around the fact that you got to get up and move, girl.
• 1:05
  You have got to, and this is for everybody, and also dialing in to the women in business saying, ladies, you have got to move that bod.
• 1:14
  And more than once a day and more for just a couple seconds. And I have a couple of sub-tips to help with that.
• 1:20
  My number one, I go back to my go-to which is, hey, set a timer. You've got this phone. Sure, it can be very distracting but can also really bring you into focus.
• 1:30
  And you set a timer with a beautiful medley and it's like, oh! And I think I said medley but I love that too because that's another sub-tip.
• 1:36
  Hey, music, just put on a sawn end groove to it for just a moment. I don't care if it's 30 seconds. I don't care if it's 10 seconds to start.
• 1:45
  But I want you to get into a beautiful rhythm habit, a dance. Get into, life is a dance. We got to dance in life, okay?
• 1:53
  And when you allow yourself the gift of movement, doing a stretch, we can even do this right now.
• 2:00
  I am just going to put my hands over my head and I'm just going to do a stretch. I might even lean to the side, lean to the other side, and maybe even shake out my wrist just a little bit if I've been typing a lot.
• 2:11
  And this is all five things to do while you're sitting down. And again, I want to remind us all that we have a body on this planet at this time in the evolution of the universe.
• 2:24
  And it is important for us to move that body and our body will reward us because I will tell you if you do not, especially as you get older, it becomes increasingly difficult.
• 2:34
  And if I want to put the emphasis on the syllable of movement, get up there and move. So that is my tip for the day, specifically, schedule time for movement as ridiculous as it may sound.
• 2:45
  I don't care what time. It's like 2.37 in the afternoon. You have a timer and it says, I am getting up and moving. Great. Do it.
• 2:52
  You are going to thank yourself. And I want you to thank yourself right now for taking time to take care of you.
• 2:59
  And now, without further ado, I am bringing to the spotlight my incredible co-host for this season, Daniel Benzon.
• 3:09
  Daniel, thank you so much for being here. I really value our journey together and I'm not going to feel sad about it being over because guess what?
• 3:19
  I'm also Daniel's client, so I don't have to worry about that. It's not over. This particular season is over. Our journey is just beginning.
• 3:27
  I'm happy to be here. Thank you. And I want to also celebrate our topic today. Our topic is authentic you. Yes, everybody out there, I'm talking Y-O-U exclamation point, you.
• 3:43
  And I'm going to start off with a compliment to my dear friend, mentor, coach. She's amazing.
• 3:51
  Danielle, thank you for helping me feel more comfortable in my own skin and to feel that it is okay to be authentically me.
• 4:00
  And I will even go so far boldly announcing how much I appreciate that because now, again, I'm just going to dial it in for the ladies in business.
• 4:09
  But this applies to anyone in business, really anybody in the world that I've heard the dream, right?
• 4:17
  The dream about you build your own business and you have this time and money freedom and it all sounds so good and it gets packaged a million different ways.
• 4:25
  And I will admit up until recently, that has been a very disappointing dream because it just always seems like it's just outside of my reach, not even within reach.
• 4:38
  It's just always outside of reach and it gets so frustrating. And as a direct result of you helping me create this podcast and bring it out into the world, it's so exciting to me because I'm being me.
• 4:54
  I get to be me. I am not perfect. I can talk about, oh, you guys shouldn't worry about that.
• 4:59
  And then, hey, how about let's take a little dose of that myself to say, hey, I'm just doing my best.
• 5:04
  And I love helping people and I love that this podcast is happening. And you know what?
• 5:11
  I almost stalled there saying, and I love being me. And I feel we should all be able to, and I'm going to use the word should, sparingly, we should be able to say, I love being me.
• 5:19
  But you know what? I've got moments where I love being me. This is incredible.
• 5:22
  And here I feel is the true freedom and it is the freedom to be authentically me and not just once in a while. I'm living being authentically me as it evolves.
• 5:37
  And that's what I wanted to just start off with. Thank you.
• 5:40
  I love that so much, Tif. And I am really stoked to say that I can finally say that I do love being me. It's taken me a while to get here.
• 5:49
  But gosh darn it, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, which is really cool. So I have a few things to say to this.
• 6:00
  There was so much there. So much there. Let's see if I can unpack it and see if I can go back.
• 6:04
  I do think that not only is it OK for you to be comfortable and enjoy being yourself.
• 6:13
  I think it is your responsibility to the world to be as authentically you as possible because not only because it's a waste if you're not because you've only got this life.
• 6:27
  And if you're if you're not being true to yourself, you know, no one else is living this life for you. So, you know, you're the one that you're hurting.
• 6:35
  But also because it gives other people permission. And what if we lived in a world where everyone was authentically themselves?
• 6:40
  This is the world that I want to live in. So the more I can encourage everybody to be authentically themselves in a respectful way, but in a way that is is true and honors them, then we can all just be these joyful beings.
• 6:53
  And the world would be full of joy. And this sounds like the best. This sounds like heaven on earth to me. It sounds like a wonderful thing.
• 7:00
  So there's that. And so you're you're only hurting yourself by not being true to yourself. You're the you're the you're the one who's getting the pain.
• 7:09
  And to be honest, you're not going to be seeing a lot of good results from it.
• 7:14
  And also, I kind of feel like it's our responsibility to do that so that everyone can start stepping into that people who are shy, people who are scared or people who maybe can't do it fully yet because it's not safe for them to be fully themselves yet.
• 7:28
  Let's build a world where it is. So that's that is a big soapbox of mine. And that's part of why I do what I do. And then it comes to the second part, which is we are the type of business owners.
• 7:41
  And I think probably most of our listeners are the type of business owners who are in business because they have a mission, they have a message, they have something, some sort of change they want to make in the world.
• 7:51
  Not every business owner is like this. And we forget a lot of people are just in business to make money and do the thing. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that.
• 8:00
  But there are passion based businesses and there are just, you know, practical businesses and the passion based businesses tend to take longer to take off because they're it's everything about our business is intrinsically mixed up with our identity and our sense of self.
• 8:18
  And so all of our insecurities and all that kind of stuff. If you were running a business selling buttons, you wouldn't be going through all the trouble that you were going through setting up this business that is extremely important to you because they're just buttons and whatever.
• 8:30
  You can sell them. It's cool. They're like, oh, hey, pretty buttons. You know, so it's there's that soul connection to our business, which makes it that much more difficult, but it also makes it that much more rewarding when we finally do get it going.
• 8:45
  And I think also, yeah, because our focus isn't necessarily on build an empire, make lots of money. It's on this is this is what I'm trying to this is the difference I'm trying to make in the world.
• 8:58
  And so with a different focus, you're not focusing on the thing. It's not going to happen as quickly. So I'm not focused as much on making money and building an empire.
• 9:07
  So it's happening slower because it's not my focus. I mean, that just makes sense. You know, and there are a lot of business coaches out there who say, you know, while you've just got a hobby and you're not taking it seriously, I'm taking my business extremely seriously.
• 9:21
  It's just that business isn't the reason for me being in business. I'm not I don't have my own company because I wanted to make a whole lot of money.
• 9:30
  I have my own company because I wanted to do something in the world. And there wasn't another way for me to do it. If there had been a job and someone would have hired me to do this, I would be there.
• 9:44
  You know, it's a lot easier to work for someone else. But that wasn't an option. And I wrote this is very important to me. And so I built it myself.
• 9:52
  And so there's there's a lot of different reasons for being in business. And I think people forget that. And they think, well, it should be so easy. So and so did it.
• 9:59
  And they're selling cars or whatever. It's much more complicated than that. And I think when your own self and your identity and your ideals and your insecurities are part of your business, it is going to take longer to grow.
• 10:14
  It's going to take longer to take money, make money. And that's OK. As long as you don't let it drag you down, as long as you do understand, you know, business works a certain way and we do need to make money.
• 10:24
  And we, you know, the bottom line has to happen. The bills need to get paid. So there's a balance that we have to strike that I think a lot of business owners don't have to strike because it's not part of who they are.
• 10:36
  I would never have gone into business for myself if I hadn't been passionate about it. There are so many easier ways to make money and I could afford to do all my hobbies, you know.
• 10:49
  But it wouldn't have been as fulfilling and I wouldn't have been able to be authentically myself, which is so much more important to me. So there's a cost to everything. And I think people don't factor in that cost.
• 11:02
  Well, first of all, yes, thank you. And I love that we are talking about cost. And I would love to just jump right in and say, yes, there is a cost attached to everything and that's OK.
• 11:19
  Yeah, I were to say, I thought about it does take more time. I get that. What I ran into, I feel I literally ran into it, is, yep, total. And many times was shying away from being my authentic self because I was scared or I was making mistakes and I was afraid of the future and I can go on and on.
• 11:44
  And I stalled and I'm just speculating here, just popped in my head that maybe one of the reasons it's taken me longer than even I would have anticipated with any type of, not worst case scenarios, but just scenarios is that I keep stalling along the way.
• 12:01
  And that just takes longer because it's like a stall, stop, start, go a little ways, stall, stop, start, because I'm not really leaning into my authenticity. I'm trying to be something that I either am not or think I'm not. And either way, it ain't working.
• 12:18
  So this is where I must put in a little plug for hiring, what have you, a coach, a teacher, a mentor, a guide. Daniel is all of them to me. It's fabulous. A friend, absolutely. Because it is very nice to be connected to a person who can look at, Daniel, I think there's that saying like, you know, there's a jar with a label and if you're inside the jar, you can't see the label at the outside.
• 12:47
  And I get that. And it doesn't mean that you, and this is where I want to be also very clear, because this is what Daniel is not. Thank you. I am not giving my, my power over to someone saying, no, I don't want to think about it. You just do all the things. And no, no, no, this is, it's such a cool, like it's a partnership, helping you specifically. It's just, it's cool. So basically, I just wanted to say that it's cool to have a connected individual. And I don't, I also want to caution. You don't want to have a,
• 13:17
  a huge committee. Like you don't want to have to go through hundreds of people to get to a decision. But I feel it's important to have a few core people because isolating yourself, building a business is, I'm gonna say it's tragic because it's unnecessary, but you don't know that unless you're connected with people.
• 13:39
  Cause I don't know about you, Daniel, but I've seen so many people, they're like, I'm just trying to do it myself and it's not working, but it's just what I have to do. Yeah, I think it's really important to have a small team.
• 13:55
  Even if it's just, you know, you and two other people to, to support you and cheerlead you as well as help you troubleshoot stuff. And you can pay for that. You can pay to be in a mastermind or a community of some sort. Or, you know, if you're lucky, you have,
• 14:09
  I have some business buddies, other people who are also running their own business. We call each other colleagues. They run their own business. I run my own business, but we meet together and we, we support one another. So you can find different ways to do that. But I do think that it's choosing a business coach is, and I'm, I'm not, I'm a speaking business coach. I'm a speaking coach. I'm not a business coach, but it's part of what I do. But I think that choosing any sort of coach is kind of the same as choosing a therapist.
• 14:37
  You, you have to shop around. You need to find someone who is going to empower you, who is going to help you trust yourself more, not to make you dependent on them. And it's not always a good fit. They can be a wonderful person. They can have a thriving business. They can have a thriving business that you like.
• 14:55
  They still might not be the right fit for you. You have to make sure that, and it's a lot of work finding the right person, but you need to find someone who is going to nurture you and empower you to trust yourself. Working with them should make you feel stronger.
• 15:12
  It shouldn't make you doubt yourself more. It shouldn't be like, Oh, well, I just have to follow this recipe and then I'm fine because then it's not your business. It's theirs. And you are just essentially franchising, you know.
• 15:23
  So yeah, there are certain principles that if you follow this work and you can take on certain people's templates for a while, but at the end of the day, it's yours. And if you are passionate about it, if you want to franchise someone's business, please go ahead.
• 15:38
  But if this is about you being the authentic expression of yourself, and if your business is part of that, which is I think kind of what we're talking about, then it is really important. I spent the first 10 years of my business, I spent thinking everyone else knew better than me.
• 15:53
  And I was so unsuccessful because I kept trying to be someone else. And even though I was teaching authenticity on stage and I was teaching speakers how to be authentic.
• 16:02
  I wasn't being authentic within my business. I was trying to, because I didn't know anything about business. I was an actor. I was like, well, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna listen to the experts because they know what they're talking about.
• 16:11
  But what I didn't realize is that you need to take advice from the experts, but don't let them run your business. And I didn't understand that. And I gave my power away.
• 16:23
  And I just listened to, and it's not their fault. It was 100% my fault. I wasn't trusting myself. It wasn't my business. I was kind of handing that over to somebody else and saying, hey, please make it work.
• 16:36
  And it was only when I took the reins and I said, look, I'm responsible for this ride or die. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna step up. And it was only then that it started really working.
• 16:48
  So it's not easy to do. And it's a lot of responsibility and the whole this, the buck stops here. It's a lot of work.
• 16:57
  But it's also so exciting because you get to do whatever you want because it's yours and you get to be as ethical and integral as you want. And you get to do things that no one else in the industry is doing.
• 17:09
  And everyone says is a terrible idea because it works for you. And hey, turns out for you, it's the best idea ever.
• 17:17
  One of the things that I do that no one else does and people always think is such a bad idea is not to everybody, but to my high ticket clients, I give unlimited time.
• 17:28
  I give unlimited calls, emails, WhatsApps in the middle of the night. I mean, if I'm awake, you know, but if I'm around, if I'm available, if I'm not on a call, but I give unlimited time to my clients and everyone's like, oh, that's such a bad idea.
• 17:43
  People abuse it. Nobody abuses it. Absolutely nobody. People still feel guilty about using too much of my time. I'm like, hey, guys, it's written into the contract. Please call me.
• 17:53
  Use me. But they respect me. They respect my time and they know they're getting a lot out of it. And it allows us to work in a way that we would never be able to do if we were counting the minutes.
• 18:05
  You know, it allows us to really dig in when we need to. And then they go off and they don't need me for a while. That's fine.
• 18:11
  But it's so great to do that. And every business coach says that's a bad idea. And I love it. It makes me so happy. It gives me so much joy. And it hasn't been a bad business decision.
• 18:24
  It's actually freed up more of my time weirdly, which is so strange.
• 18:30
  I would counter and say, wait, because you're being authentic in your business, what you feel is right for your clients, then that's why it's so cool that it does work out so great. And I love that you brought in the word responsibility.
• 18:48
  I, I just have a, this is from my personal experience, just a slate. Like in my, in my experiences, there were a few people that yes, ultimately it was my decision and it is my responsibility.
• 19:04
  It does also suck when someone takes advantage of your lack of knowledge. And, and like, because there were times where I gave away my power and because, well, I'm just saying they were, I'll say it. They were very good sales people for selling a vision that did not come to fruition.
• 19:25
  And, and it was hard because I also want to help people understand that yes, a hundred percent my responsibility, but I punished myself and admittedly I, I have my moments where it's like, oh, that was all my fault.
• 19:43
  And we don't want to go to hyperbaland where yes, I do love the idea of a hundred percent of responsibility because it's our life granted. And also sometimes people take advantage. Sometimes people don't do the right thing. I'll say the correct thing. They don't do the correct thing.
• 19:59
  And those are expensive lessons that we have to go through.
• 20:03
  And it happens. And you know what? On a level that's not your fault. It's just called life. It's not like I drew this to my side. I mean, everybody has their own opinions on things. I just don't want people to have to always be under the impression that every single decision of every say, well, you brought this on yourself or it happened for a reason.
• 20:27
  You know what? Sometimes stuff happens and I don't like it.
• 20:30
  Yeah, absolutely. But I think it's part of the process. I think we all, every business person that I've ever spoken to has had an experience like that. And I think it's part of we live in a world. We live in a chaotic world. There are bad players out there. And until you get burned, you don't know.
• 20:44
  And so it's part of the process is at some point you have to get burned. If you, if you, if every relationship that you have is wonderful and you've never had your heart broken, you don't know how to look out for, for red flags and partners.
• 20:54
  It's the same kind of thing. I feel like it's not your fault. It's part of the process and it's expensive lesson. And I hate it. If it happens to you three times, then you need to start looking at your levels of naivete.
• 21:05
  Okay. But the first time for sure. I mean, it's happened to me more than once. It took me a while to learn the lesson. So, you know, maybe the third time was my fault. But even so, it is, it is one of those things where we have to experience that.
• 21:23
  And then we get to define ourselves like a big part of my brand is against that kind of business, you know, doing business that way. And you get to stand for things that, you know, you need to know that those things are out there in order to stand against them.
• 21:39
  And I think, you know, we need to learn. I want to say, we need to not be scared to stand in our integrity and say, and not like point fingers or make, you know, say bad things about other people.
• 21:56
  I'm not interested in that. But I am interested in saying, like, my business has integrity. I have guarantees for that reason. And, and so we learn, we go, okay, these are the red flags. They didn't have a guarantee. They asked for everything up front.
• 22:09
  They had no way of, of ensuring that I was going to get the results. They had no way of proving it to me, you know, those kinds of things. You go, okay. So next time, when I go shopping, I'm looking for those things. I'm looking for a guarantee.
• 22:22
  I'm looking for, what if this doesn't work? I'm looking for contingencies. I'm looking for things in writing. You know, there's, there's all these things that they make us wise. And as business owners, we get to go.
• 22:35
  And now I get to provide that for my clients. I have guarantees in writing. I have, you know, contingency plans in place, because I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of. And I want my clients to know, especially when they're just, you know, when they're just signing on.
• 22:50
  They don't know me yet. I mean, the people have worked with me for a while. They're like, yeah, we know that you're not going to take advantage of us, but people have just met me. They don't know. And so I need to build that into my business model.
• 23:00
  So that my business model is authentic and integrous, not just me, my character, but that I have ways to go. Look, if this happens, we'll do this. If this happens, we'll do this. Because to me, and again, this is a personal choice, but to me, I would rather give someone their money back.
• 23:20
  Than have a client who felt like they didn't get what they signed up for, because I believe in my product. 100%. I believe in it to the moon and back. And so I don't need to come from that place of scarcity of like, oh, but I need, because I'm not a used car salesman.
• 23:39
  I believe in my product. I know it's good. And if it doesn't work for some reason, we need to fix that because that's part of my integrity. That's part of my reputation. You know what I mean?
• 23:52
  Yes, I do. And I, oh my goodness. You know what? It is choosing and the buying a car. You got to kick a few tires, but you also have to take stuff for test drive. And then you make a purchase. And you just, hey, that's just, I love analogies.
• 24:12
  Oh, yes. Absolutely. I would say, I've said this possibly before, and I might say it again, but I feel a classic red flag is if someone says, okay, you're gonna sign up for me. And it's, and don't tell anybody because we don't want to steal your dream. Do you? It's like, I had to throw that in there. It's like, um, yeah, what I, I was thinking about. Okay, you know what? Yes, we have responsibility. And sometimes people take advantage. It's not always our fault.
• 24:42
  And then also if it happens repeatedly, I feel that's definitely a reason why you have that. Yeah, examine that, examine it with someone and possibly not someone who's a close friend, perhaps someone just like here are the facts. Here's what's happening. You should be amazed how someone who barely knows you objective objective. Yes, this is why I feel so I really do appreciate the power of therapy. And I was thinking also about.
• 25:11
  I would like to, and I don't have the definitions in front of me, but I feel that there could be a difference between if you're consistently doing something and chronically doing something because I don't want to. But if you're chronically stuck on one aspect, if you chronically keep getting taken advantage of you chronically can't figure something out, we want to.
• 25:34
  We want to evolve that into now I'm consistently looking out for myself. I'm consistently reaching out and taking some different steps. I'm consistently tracking my data. I'm consistently, you know, if someone offers me something that sounds too good to be true, let's talk to someone else and see what they say. Not because you can't ever trust yourself, but it is also nice to have that objectiveness. Isn't it interesting? You know, objective versus objection. Like that's not, it's not an objection. It's just being a little objective.
• 26:03
  It's something that one of my favorite business coaches, and I'm just gonna shout out to her right now. Jennifer D. Stratton is an amazing business coach and I've worked with her a little bit. And something that she says, which I love is people look at objections like obstacles. An objection is what she called. She calls it a selling indicator because otherwise they just say no.
• 26:29
  So if they're bringing up an objection, it's actually a sign that they want to work with you. I mean, unless they're hiding behind it, you obviously have to take it with a brain of salt. But most of the time if someone says, Oh, I would, but it's like, Oh, you would, but so there's something that's preventing you. Why don't we troubleshoot that? So that's an opportunity to troubleshoot. It's a selling indicator in that it's an interest indicator because if they actually weren't interested, they just say no.
• 27:00
  And that just kind of blew my mind because so many people in sales talk about, Oh, objections, like they're this thing that you have to, you have to persuade people through or attack because they're, they're getting in the way of your sale.
• 27:13
  Like, no, it's not getting in the way of your sale. Or rather, they're highlighting something that is preventing them from purchasing from you. And so you have the opportunity to say, Hey, let's solve that problem together. Instead of being like, Oh, you, you don't want it.
• 27:28
  You know, we don't need to go there at all because those objections, they're not actually, they're not insults. They're not saying you're not worth your value. They're saying, I see that I would like to work with you. This thing is getting in my way.
• 27:47
  And that just, when she, when she put it like that, I was just like, Jennifer Deeb start and had a lot of mind blowing things that she said over the years of well, not years, but over the months I worked with her.
• 28:00
  I just think that's so that shift changes everything because suddenly, and this is in relationships, I'm going on a complete tangent for a moment, but something the biggest thing that I learned in relationship, in being in relationship, like in a romantic relationship.
• 28:14
  And when you're fighting, instead of blaming each other and going, well, you did this and that, you take the problem and you make it a third, a third thing outside of yourselves.
• 28:25
  So the problem is a puzzle that needs to be solved. So I'm feeling neglected or the dishes didn't get done. It's not you didn't do the dishes. It's there's the separate thing over here. Look, here's a third thing coming into our relationship.
• 28:39
  The dishes didn't get done. How can we work together to fix this problem? Instead of being like, you didn't do this. And that has changed the way I approach romantic and all relationships really, it helps so much.
• 28:56
  And I think looking at sales the same way, kind of going, they're not, they're not saying, oh, you need to charge less or whatever. They're just saying, hey, this is a, this is a puzzle. How do we solve this puzzle together?
• 29:08
  No, I mean, I do know what you mean. And I like that so much. And right. And also if someone is, is not sure or just getting to know you and that's okay. They're just being their authentic selves too. So I'm just thinking about the respect level on both sides.
• 29:29
  Like, let's just, I respect that you have some objections and they respect that you are here to, to get to the place where regardless of the outcome, that the process brought satisfaction in knowing what the offer is and how they feel.
• 29:50
  And that's it. It's like, I'm making you an offer. I'm not forcing, I'm not trying to push or pull. All I want to do is invite you to an opportunity that if now is the time, awesome. If now quite isn't the time, that's okay. And if you truly just, it's just not for me.
• 30:09
  That's fine too.
• 30:10
  Okay. Yeah, it's all good. And it really is.
• 30:14
  You know, you're just making me realize right now as a client, as a customer, every single time I have let someone push me into a sale too, too soon. So something that I wanted to purchase, but I wasn't ready. And I kept saying, look, I'm not ready. And they kept pushing. And I succumbed because I did. It happened.
• 30:33
  And people can be very persuasive. And they're like, it's not going to happen again. And, you know, they use all those tactics on me. And every time I have succumbed to that, I have regretted it. And I did not get, I didn't get what I wanted to get out of the product. It was a waste of money. And now there's kind of a, not a sour relationship with that person, but kind of, because I didn't get what I wanted from them. And they just kind of took my money and they didn't look after me.
• 30:57
  And I told them it was the wrong time. And they didn't listen. And I feel taken advantage of every time someone has let me say, Hey, I really want to work with you. Now is not a good time. And they've gone, Oh, cool. We'll keep you on the mailing list, stay in the community. We'll let you know about the next event, blah, blah, blah.
• 31:17
  Every single time they've done that, it's allowed me to take my time. And people always say, Oh, but you need the urgency because if they don't buy on the call, they're 100% less or 20% less likely to buy or whatever it is. I have no idea. It's never been true for me as a, as a client myself.
• 31:36
  Okay. If they ignored me and never spoke to me again, then yeah, maybe I wouldn't have purchased, but they kept me in the community. They nurtured me. They love me up. And each one of those people, I waited until it was the right time. And I worked with them and it was an amazing experience. And I would recommend them.
• 31:52
  So there's something there. Are you in it for the quick buck or are you in it for the longterm relationship? Wow.
• 32:03
  And you know, those are two different business models, but for me, I'm in it for the longterm relationship. I don't want unhappy clients. No, I don't want people to say, well, I really did want to take it. But because I took it too soon, I wasted all my money and now I can't take it again. And, you know, blah, blah.
• 32:21
  I really love that you have introduced this because there is, it's called the FOMO.
• 32:29
  FOMO is an effective selling tool.
• 32:34
  Let me tell you, cause when you said, Oh yeah, I succumb to it once. I'm like, I've succumbed to it so many times. I run out of fingers and toes. Okay. And very quick succession.
• 32:43
  And especially if it's something you know that you do want. I do want this training. I just don't want it right now.
• 32:49
  And it could be, is that even that I don't want it right now? I truly can't right now for whatever reason.
• 32:54
  Yes. You know, that's just an objection. It's true. That's just an excuse. It's like, no, actually it's just true.
• 33:00
  It is. And I love that now I can, I can bring up our two discussions where you made me an offer. And, and here's the funny part everybody.
• 33:13
  If, if she had made offers in the past, I don't even remember them. And I think that's the, like, because I don't think you had.
• 33:21
  We had our first offer was to become a client because you are a speaker coach and you know what? It was awesome.
• 33:29
  Everything was aligned and I really wanted it and I was going to make it happen and it happened and it was great and absolutely.
• 33:36
  And knowing you, if I had said it wasn't the right time, see, we've just explained like, okay.
• 33:42
  So it worked out great for me because she called at the right time.
• 33:45
  We ended up putting that on pause anyway because the podcast network came along.
• 33:48
  Well, that brings me to number two. Now there is the fear of missing out, but I like, I have FOMO and then I have FATA, F-A-T-A, and I call it faith and taking action.
• 34:01
  What I mean by that is when you FATA as like say, cause that can just be silly with it. FATA as opposed to FOMO because you presented the opportunity and I love how you prefaced it.
• 34:14
  You said, I know you've already signed up for this.
• 34:16
  So there's an understanding that I know it's already been invested and also I am creating a podcast network.
• 34:22
  And also if you would like to be on the, can I call it the beta level or the base level or how would you describe it?
• 34:29
  I would call the intrepid founders, it wasn't so much a beta test.
• 34:37
  It was more like we were the founding group.
• 34:39
  Okay, thank you. Cause I want to make sure I get that new.
• 34:42
  That sounds terrible. But like we were the...
• 34:45
  I just feel like soul sisters just cause we were just connected on a level. That's just my personal. So good.
• 34:50
  Cause I didn't want it to, I just wanted to make sure I'm using the right, the right words.
• 34:55
  And so we said, if you want to be on the founding level, you have to take action now.
• 35:04
  And what I appreciated was...
• 35:05
  Cause I have all these deadlines.
• 35:06
  Well, exactly. And here's the thing, being on a level, you're being authentic. You weren't trying to press it or manipulate it.
• 35:15
  You were just stating the facts. Thank you, everybody. Can we just, let's be authentic. Let's just be ourselves.
• 35:20
  Let's just say what it is. Now you can tell people whatever you want. You don't have to be, I don't mean authentic meeting.
• 35:25
  You have to have the inner pond vlog with the outer monologue 24 seven. No, no, no.
• 35:31
  Not a hundred percent disclosure because no one wants that. Let's be honest. No one wants to know what underwear I'm wearing and what I had for breakfast. It's not necessary.
• 35:39
  But what I loved was...
• 35:40
  Filter through the relevance filter.
• 35:42
  Oh, thank you. Have a relevance filter. Thank you. And so for that second offer, was there fear? Yes, there was.
• 35:51
  Was there all the things were coming up, the fear of missing out, but more than that.
• 35:59
  And if you, and I know someone, her name is Connie Ann and I love that she says basically, if you're at 51%, you can go with it.
• 36:08
  All right. Just let's get to 51%. Like, are you having a 51% good day? Awesome. If you get to a 51%, I just love how she does the 49 51.
• 36:16
  I just love it because for me, first of all, I already knew how you treat your clients, so I didn't have to worry about that.
• 36:24
  So are there worries, fears? It's like, oh my gosh, do we even have time? I don't even know the difference sometimes.
• 36:30
  I was just thinking about that now. Like, what's a worry? What's a fear? And I think the worry was things that have happened already that I'm sure about what happened again and fear of I don't know what could happen.
• 36:39
  So in this case, it was more the fear of could I really pull it off in the short amount of time for the podcast?
• 36:47
  And that is where I had to go on faith and take action. That was it. Like, it's do or don't. That's fine. If you don't, it's okay.
• 36:56
  If you do, you have agreed to take 100% responsibility and let's go for it. And I did. And may I just say, oh, exceeded all expectations. Thank you.
• 37:05
  And now I have a, and I'd love to call it a bonafide podcast. You know, it's not just, I just, maybe it could be it's, it is, it's got all three of the bells and whistles and it's professional and I have a support team and it's all the things and it's very exciting.
• 37:23
  And so maybe I could offer that as loving support and being your authentic self. Guess what? You're always going to miss out on things constantly,
• 37:33
  especially as you get into the, all these offers, people will be up and down offering you this, that, and the other thing, if you let them, and sometimes you just can't help because you're doom scrolling on Instagram at two in the morning and get all these ads, which by the way, I actually did sign up for a workshop, which was fantastic.
• 37:48
  And I have, there's a person that I'm interested in working with when the time is right. But in the meantime, an offer was made. It just wasn't the right time. And the person said, that's okay.
• 37:58
  Oh, love that. And they even said, we're so glad you're here in the community. Thank you for, and here's what you can do in the meantime and just we'll check in at some other, there was no even check-in time. It's just like, just whatever. And I love that. And I'll tell ya, now that that is happening, it's so much better than, well, if you don't work with me, good luck.
• 38:19
  Or you better take this offer or your life is over.
• 38:22
  And now I have all these checks, you know, like the same as dating when you have, you know, people have to see where the red flags are. I do the same in sales calls now. And if they, if they do any of the things that have a whole list and if they do any of the things on the list, I'm like, okay, I'm not working with you because that shows that we're not in alignment.
• 38:40
  So if they do any of the things that are on my list, then I go, thank you very much. It doesn't matter how good your product is or how much I like you, I'm not going to work with you because we're obviously not in alignment.
• 38:51
  They're not random. Like they're from many painful years of experience learning what those indicators are. So I think that, but there were also positive indicators. Like when someone does that, I go, oh, okay.
• 39:03
  They're not just greedy wanting to take my money. They actually care about me and they want to make sure that this happens at the right time for me and they're going to love me up and they're going to nurture me.
• 39:13
  And that immediately makes me feel more safe as a client and it makes me more likely to trust them in the future and also more likely to refer them. So, you know, there's, there's all these little, there's all these little indicators that are there.
• 39:25
  And they're so very important when we're making these decisions for ourselves as clients, for ourselves as business owners. How do you want to show up? How do you want people to see you? And this runs into branding too.
• 39:37
  You know, and this is very much kind of my, more of my wheelhouse is I'm helping people embody their brands. I'm helping people feel comfortable in their skins, be who they are, love being who they are and attract the right clients.
• 39:50
  Because when we try to be someone else, when we're following someone else's business template or we're coming from a place of fear and we're like, oh, but if I don't make this sale, then they're going to leave.
• 40:00
  If they leave, they weren't the right person for you anyway. And that's okay. There are so many people in the world. I can guarantee you that there are more people in your target market than you could ever serve.
• 40:13
  Garrett, there's a lot of people out there, you know, define your target market and think about how many people are in the world. You could reach them all through the internet right now. If they say no, either they weren't actually right for you or, you know, something went wrong, whatever. It's not the end of the world. There are others out there.
• 40:31
  And it's not worth making the wrong decision because also then you have to deal with that client. And you might think that they're your ideal client, but if they say no, probably there was something that wasn't clicking and they weren't your ideal client.
• 40:49
  And if you try and push them into the sale, then during your relationship, you might find out why, why they were a little bit reticent to say yes. And then you might regret it because you still have to have this relationship with them.
• 41:02
  So it goes both ways. And that's wonderful. That's the wonderful thing about sales is matchmaking. And it is about just you have to really know who you are. You have to really know what you stand for.
• 41:12
  You have to really know what you stand against and what you're giving people and then just beam that out into the world, broadcast all of your quirks, all of your eccentricities. Even if you think they don't have anything to do with your business, they do.
• 41:27
  If you're if you're a solopreneur or you're running a small business, if your team is less than 20, I'm going to say probably your personality has a lot to do with your business.
• 41:36
  And even if it doesn't feel like it does, people want to work with you because of who you are. The product that you sell, the service that you sell, there are other people who sell it.
• 41:49
  And they might be just as good as you. They might be better than you in some ways, but they might not be better for your ideal person because you are the best person for your ideal person.
• 42:02
  I am the best coach for my ideal client. I am not the best coach for a lot of other people who want to be speakers, but they're not my ideal client. So it's okay.
• 42:13
  You everything that you are makes you the ideal person for your ideal client. So the more you can just embrace who you are and lean into it and relax into it and stop trying to be what other people are telling you you should be.
• 42:28
  You know yourself best. You know your clients best. And if you don't know your clients best, actually, they're a big question mark. Go talk to them. Get to get to know them best because you will.
• 42:40
  After working with them, you will know them best. And that is that is the way if you want to do market research, do market research. Yes. Listen to all the experts. Listen to them.
• 42:51
  But don't adopt what they say without some sort of discernment and critical thoughts.
• 43:00
  Yes. I just had to jump right to go. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yes. Please. Please. This is important. Not only in business, but the rest of the life he thinks because I wanted to also because again, this is also good and this does tie into women in business and also others in business.
• 43:22
  You know, it's all whoever's in the business, be authentic business in the biz of you use the biz and and I, I just wanted to make sure to also celebrate that there is plenty as you said there are so many people out there. There's so many people out there. And there is plenty for everyone.
• 43:50
  I cannot be proven wrong on this because there's just too many people on the planet. Ha, ha, ha. It's just, it's just true. It's not ever going to be saturated. I is. And if, and I don't know, Danielle, just not a thought of like, you know, the ocean like if it seems that it's very saturated right there, you're just in one little part of the vast ocean. There's just, give yourself some grace. Just say, hey, you know what?
• 44:20
  Be open to possibilities and just know that there is plenty out there. And if it's not arriving at this very instant, just exactly as you thought, it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. You're a bad person. You deserve this. No, no, no. Quite the contrary. It simply means it's life. Life is messy, chaotic. Hello.
• 44:38
  It's just a puzzle. Just science. Just keep doing, just keep doing the little experiments to keep doing little tweaks. If you're not, if you're doing, if you feel like you're doing everything right and you're not getting the results that you want, chances are it's like a 1% or 5% change. It's not a big change. So don't feel like you have to completely pivot unless you feel like you're doing something wrong then obviously. But if you feel like you're doing everything right, test things. Look at where in my funnel am I breaking down? Which bits are weak? Which bits are strong?
• 45:08
  Is it just a matter of time? Do I just need to reinforce this? Do I need to change my wording somewhere? It can be teeny tiny little tweaks. It doesn't need, you don't need to reinvent the wheel. If you are doing a local brick and mortar business and there are, you know, if you're a gym and there's seven other gyms and it's a tiny town, then yeah, okay, maybe you want to rethink your strategy. But if you're online in any way and, you know, even that kind of example, you can find a way to niche and find your people and to specialize.
• 45:38
  And find your people. If you are, if you speak to their needs enough and you aren't just cookie cutter, boilerplate, the same as everybody else, the more unique you are, the more people will travel and, you know, overcome obstacles to work with you because you're speaking to them and you're meeting a unique need.
• 46:01
  So if you're not meeting a unique need, how can you? And again, look at your personality first. Look at the type of people that you attract. It never occurred to me that I would specifically be working with introverts.
• 46:18
  I just didn't, you know, I didn't think about it. I think of myself as mostly an introvert, but maybe kind of ambivertist, but I'm much more of an introvert than I present as.
• 46:28
  And it didn't occur to me that there were a lot of speaker trainers out there who don't, who don't suit introverts until I had a speaker, I had a speaking coach who really didn't work for me because she was really, you know, really targeted towards a type kind of more extroverted.
• 46:46
  People and none of her strategies worked for me because I was so introverted. I was like, oh, maybe there's a market for this.
• 46:55
  I was like, well, maybe other people need the thing that I need and, you know, I'm going to just try it out and see if it turns out a lot of people need that.
• 47:03
  So it was just, and that was, it had never occurred to me to, to market that way, not because it didn't feel right, but just, it just never occurred to me.
• 47:13
  It didn't occur to me that, that being an introvert or an extrovert as a speaker was a different thing until I had that experience. And I was like, wow, this is a bad match.
• 47:23
  I didn't realize cause she was an excellent speaker. I love the way she spoke. And so I was like, yeah, let's, let's work together. But turns out her strategies were very much suited to her personality, which was not my personality.
• 47:37
  And so I had to, I had to go find someone else to work with because it wasn't a good fit. She's an excellent speaker. She's an excellent coach, but I wasn't her target market and that's okay. So, you know.
• 47:49
  What I love about this. Yeah. I love that. Playing, playing and all, and it's like, oh my gosh, we have to wrap this up. This is like, oh, I know, but it's okay on a note.
• 48:04
  I do. I do thank you for all of these insights and, and beautiful examples, especially that last one, because guess what? You're both being authentic.
• 48:13
  You simply, you simply didn't, and then you just went to someone who more authentically aligned with who you are authentically. So everyone, I feel that.
• 48:21
  And it's not like it didn't learn from her. She gave me my niche market. I got a lot out of it. Wasn't what I was expecting to get, but I got a lot out of the experience.
• 48:29
  Just wasn't what I was expecting, but it helped a lot.
• 48:33
  Oh, see, that's cool too. And that's, I feel that's a great place to celebrate that you, you are learning and evolving and growing throughout all of these experiences.
• 48:47
  And I will say it is greater ease and flow and even better results when you are authentically.
• 48:55
  Being you, it's just, that's it. It's just the more you can tune into your own authentic self. And I love that you did say safe and everybody, I want you to feel safe authentically you so so take, take your steps as you can safely do them. However, safe looks to you and know that there's support out there.
• 49:19
  Absolutely. Bar none. And that's why I love this podcast so much because this is bringing people to talk about, you know, how about having a great day? How are you having a great day? Are you having a great day?
• 49:30
  And all these steps you can take and steps that help you become your best authentic self and truly that is a joy for everyone and a joy for yourself to enjoy your great day.
• 49:40
  How much energy do you spend suppressing who you really are?
• 49:45
  What if, what if you could put that energy to something else? What if you could just be free?
• 49:52
  And there again, the freedom of being your authentic self. And that is so, that is everything. And I want to thank Danielle from the top of, top of my head all the way down to my tippy toes to thank you for this amazing season for your amazing presence.
• 50:11
  It was a present of great gift to me to be with you and I thank you and everybody. I highly recommend that you, you join our network and check it out because it's absolutely fantastic. So many great podcasts, so many opportunities and Danielle, you are amazing. Thank you.
• 50:28
  Thank you so much. And of course, it's not just a network. I have a whole community so I will link to that in the show notes so that you can get some information if you are at all interested. If you're not interested, I'm not offended.
• 50:40
  But if you are interested, I will make sure the info is in the show notes. Thank you so much, Tif. This has been a delight. An absolute joyful delight.
• 50:49
  I appreciate that. And yes, everyone, it is also the people that you know. So if there is somebody out there that says, ooh, podcast, interesting, or ooh, of leveling speaking, well, it's fun. You know what? Have some fun with it.
• 51:04
  The problems are great. And the best part about this again is reminding you how amazing you are being your authentic self and taking those steps to just have that great day. And you're amazing. So everybody have a great day.
• 51:23
  Have an authentically great day. Thanks, Tif. Thank you.