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Friends Who Only Appear When They Need Something · All About Friendships

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, I need everyone to hear this text. Verbatim. Hey bro,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: long time no talk. Hope you are doing great. By
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: the way, quick favor. Quick favor. After eight months of silence,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: the man missed my birthday, my promotion, the entire holiday season,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: and then reappeared with a quick favor like we talk
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: every day. My friendship is not a friendship anymore. It
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: is a customer service hotline. Eight months of nothing, then hello, brother,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I need a thing. The warmth has an invoice attached.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: And tonight, we are auditing every single line item. Welcome
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: back to All About Friendships. I am Paul. I am
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: heated and I have receipts.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Turn the heads up. I am calm and I have
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: already read the receipts because Paul forwarded me the whole
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: chat history at midnight. Today's topic, friends who only appear
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: when they need something. The ones who vanish for months,
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: then resurface the moment they need a favor, a referral,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: a ride, or a free labe disguised as hanging out.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: The human boomerangs. Except a real boomerang comes back to you.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: These people come back to your wallet, your car, and
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: your free weekends. We are naming the pattern today, and
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I am not holding back. But first, Kamustohan, because I
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: cannot yell about favors on empty heart. How was your week?
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Good, and annoyingly rough, and I had to find move
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: on Saturday. Boxes, stairs, a couch that should have stayed
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: behind as a warning to the next tenant, and I
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: said yes instantly, because this friend went to the coast
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: town at midnight when the car died and waited two
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: hours with me for the tow shark. So his ass
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: could not feel like a favorite like every time. Remember
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: that feeling. Because the rest of this episode is about
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: a version that never returns anything. Beautiful.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: And it makes me want to throw a chair. Because
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: my week was the opposite. Two asks. Two separate friends.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Zero appearances in between. First, a guy I have not
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: heard from since spring wants a full resume rewrite. His
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: exact words were, and I quote, Can you make it
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: sound like I did more than I did? End quote.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: That is not a favor. That is fraud with extra.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Please tell me. Boundaries have entered the chat. And you
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: said no.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I spent three hours on a Sunday rewriting the career
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: of a man who could not like my promotion post.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: and the second to ask was worse. A friend called
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: after almost a year, and within four minutes, I timed it.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: He asked if my cousin still works at the airline
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: because he needs a flight discount. He did not ask
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: about my life. He asked about my cousin. I am
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: not a friend to this man. I am a directory,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: a human phone book with legs.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: That is going, I'm sure. But somebody has to ask.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Did you give him the number?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I gave him the number. And here is my defense.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: The whole debate in one sentence. Saying no felt meaner
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: than saying yes felt bad. That is the trap. And
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I walk into it every time like I have never
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: seen it before.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: That sentence is the whole episode. The friend you cannot refuse.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: The favor they eat your weekend. The guilt that arrives
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: faster than the gratitude. We are taking all of it
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: apart today. But first, Paul needs water because he already
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: said fraud with extra steps six minutes in.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Water accepted. The resume looked great, by the way. I
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: am excellent at fraud. Let us define the crime.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: We are back. Paul has water. I have patience. Let
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: us define terms. What is a transactional friend and how
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: is that different from a normal friend who sometimes needs help?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: TEF edition, locked. A transactional friend only contacts you in
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: one direction, toward their needs. They do not call to talk.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: They call to ask. They do not text to check in.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: They text to check out your car, your tools, your discounts,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: your free Saturday. Every conversation is a transaction where you
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: are the store and they are the customer. And it
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: always opens with warmth. Hey bro, long time, miss you man.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: The warmth is the coupon. 20% off your boundaries.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: The warmth is the coupon. I need a moment. Okay,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: my calmer version. which agrees with you. Asking is not
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: a problem. Everybody asks. The moving story, I told, started
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: with an ask, and it felt great. The difference is
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: direction over time. In a healthy friendship, health flows both ways,
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: across months and years. In a transactional one, the phone
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: or other reverses. Not once. You are always the giver.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: They are always the receiver. Just like a friendship, more
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: like a river. running downhill straight to their house.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I am out here with buckets. Here is the Paul test.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: One.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: When did they last contact you? Without a request attached.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: If you cannot remember, that is data. Two. Of your
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: last five conversations, how many ended with you doing something
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: for them? Five out of five is not a friendship.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: It is a subscription where you pay and they stream.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Three.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: If you needed them tomorrow, car dead at midnight style,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: would they show up? If your gut says no before
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: your brain finishes, trust the gut. The gut counted the
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: receipts first.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Solid tests. Stolen for the show notes find necessarily. Now
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: to complication. Because easy answers are banned here, some people
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: ask constantly because they need constantly. Divorce, lay off, sick parent,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: a drowning friend can take for a whole year without
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: being transactional. Porch light. Remember. So the real question is
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: not do they take. It is when they could give,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: do they? Drowning is a season. Transactional is a personality. Confusing.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Then you either run out or abandon someone who needed you.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I come in with a sword? You turn it into
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: a mirror.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Fine.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Season versus personality. But my guy today is not drowning.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: He is swimming. Lapse. In a pool I filled. Stories next.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I need a full segment for the evidence.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Death stories next. Paul has screenshots and has been vibrating
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: since Kamelstaheim. So, we are letting the man present his
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: evidence before he explodes. I.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: The.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Leland. Again. Because that is my blood now.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Evidence time. This friend. Name sealed. Edsel is the lawyer.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Goes back years. Real years. Or so I thought. A
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: year ago, I noticed the pattern. And being a scientist,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: I counted our messages. Last 12 conversations. 11 ended with
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: me doing something for him. A ride to the airport.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Feedback on his business idea. An intro to my marketing friend.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: A couch up three flights of stairs. My knees still remember.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Borrowed tools. Twice. My parking spot for a week. And
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: once he asked me to pose as his landlord on
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: a call. I said no to that one. Even I
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: have limits. Barely.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: 11 out of 12. Listeners, sit down for this pie.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Say the 12th one. Paul. I know it hurts, and
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: I know you rehearsed telling it, and I know the
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: rehearsal did not help.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: The 12th was my birthday. He texted me. For one
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: beautiful moment, I thought he remembered. Then, three texts later,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: he asked to borrow my camera for a trip. On
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: my birthday. He remembered it the way stores remember it.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday, valued customer. Here is 10% off feeling loved.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: I am furious on your behalf, and I am the
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: calm one. But this is just a minute. In twelve conversations,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: did you ever once say, Hey, I am always the
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: one helping you? Or did you just smile and hand
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: things over? Siled every time.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Big generous Paul smiled because each ask came wrapped in warmth.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: You are the best, bro. I owe you one. Compliments
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: are my love language, and he speaks it fluently, but
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: only when he needs something. Then, two months ago, I
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: needed him. My sink exploded, water everywhere, middle of the night.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: He lives ten minutes away, ten minutes, and he said, man,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I would love to help, but I have an early morning.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: An early morning! I carried his couch up three flights
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: of stairs in July. He could not cross the street
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: for an early morning.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: The flights of stars in July versus 10 minutes away
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: on a weeknight. That is not in balance. That is
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: a staircase that only goes one way. Here's a hard thing.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: He did not fail a test that night. He revealed
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: a pattern. 11 out of 12 already told you. The
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: sink just made it impossible to unsee. You actually were
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: never currency to him. They do not save up. They spend.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: And the store is always open because the store is you.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Wait. Counter story first. Because asking is not the enemy.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I have a green friend who asks me for stuff constantly.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: And I love it. The difference between her and the
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: sink guy is the whole lesson.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: The floor is yours. Defend asking.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: She asks for everything. rides, advice, resume feedback. And unlike
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Crod Guy, she wrote it first. She borrows my books
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: and returns them with notes in the margins. She improves
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: my books and gives them back. But here is the difference.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: She shows up. When I moved, she arrived at 8
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: in the morning with coffee and tape guns she bought herself.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: When my sink exploded, I called her after he said no,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: and she came in 20 minutes with a bucket, a wrench,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: and a neighbor who knows plumbing. She brought a plus-one plumber.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: A potluck where everybody brings something and nobody counts the dishes.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: The potluck where nobody counts the dishes. Write it down, listeners.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: The problem was never asking. Asking is hunger. Everybody gets hungry.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: The problem is bringing nothing to the potluck while eating
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: every time. Both of them ask. Only one brings dishes.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: So the question is never do they ask. It is,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: do they bring? 12 conversations, 11 favors, one birthday camera ambush.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: That is not a potluck. That is a soup kitchen
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: for one comfortable customer.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: That's late. Another shirt. But, one press before my story,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: has there been a season where you were the hungry one?
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Potlucks need turns. And I suspect she fed you. Because
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: a potluck with only one cook is a restaurant, and
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: nobody's crowning you Employee of the Month just yet. It
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: slays in the.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, after the move, I was a mess for two months.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: She kept showing up, food, check-ins, a whole weekend of
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: boxes while I complained. Never asked for a thing. That
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: is why I carry her couches with joy and his
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: with resentment. Same stairs, same knees. Different friendship.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: Same stairs, same knees. Six-word episode. Now I follow it
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: with my violent story.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, it is high. I am limboing under it. My turn.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Set up. For years, I had a friend with a truck.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: That truck. Wow. For years, I only called when I
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: needed it. Moving. Holding. Every call ran one script. Hey, man.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: How have you been? We should hang out soon. Also,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: tiny question about Saturday in your truck. I was the
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: same guy. I was the coupon guy. Every reading Paul
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: name today. Same episode. Gold stories too.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: No.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Not truck friend. He is a saint. Tell me there
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: is a repair in this story.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: There is. Only because he said something rude two years
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: ago made Truck ask. He went quiet and said, I
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: love helping you, but I only hear from you when
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: something needs hauling. It feels like a rental service with
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: a friendship attached, instead of a friendship with a truck attached.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: That sentence did not make me defensive. It made me sick.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I counted on the spot. Eight calls. Eight drop calls.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Zero honk outs. I had turned a good man into equipment.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: And I liked him. How do you like someone and
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: only douse in number four cargo?
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Because asking has a script and friendship does not? A
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: favor is a transaction with a receipt. But hanging out
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: is just time with no purpose?
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, man.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: I feel called out by your story, and it is
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: not even about me.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Asking his kind details. Thanks. Done. Friendship has no script.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Open time. Real talk. Maybe feeding. I was only in sport,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: so I told myself, truck calls quantity. We laughed. Floating boxes.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Except it was me renting a man and hanging pizza.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: And the scary part, he almost never told me. He
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: sat in that sentence for months. He nearly just faded
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: and let me become a podcast story about transactional friends.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: One honest sentence saved us one life.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Guilt without action is an open tab. Your words, last week,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: stolen proudly. So, what was the action?
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: Immediate and specific. A real apology, not was it defense?
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: You know with the words, no holy, no fever, it's
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: just food. A fuel gift, quite as a signal. Not payment,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I see what I took. Then the real repair, shelling
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: with nothing. Him scores, means? Sirachago, it felt weird. Not
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: showing up empty-handed, but showing up empty-handed is the friendship.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: The favor is the bonus. There was never equipment. It
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: was the point.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: The truck was a large metal plus.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: A large metal plus. Crying and laughing. My favorite state.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: So here is the huge thing. The sink guy and
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: truck friend lived the same pattern. The difference? Truck friend spoke,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: and I never gave the sink guy the chance. Maybe
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: some transactional friends are just uncorrected edzels who would change
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: after one honest sentence. My eleven yeses were not just generous.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: They were silent. And the silence is half the problem.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Half? Not all. Some hear the sentence and change like
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: it did. Some hear it and vanish. Or guilt trip
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: you and call you selfish. So when do you speak
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: and when do you close this door? That is a fight.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Let us have it.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Going hard. Say the sentence every time your truck story
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: proves speaking works. And every transactional friendship that dies silent
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: might have survived 30 seconds of courage. Maybe the sink
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: guy has no idea. Maybe the birthday camera was a
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: fun coincidence to him and not a crime. I will
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: never know because I never told him. Before you close
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: the store, put up a sign. One chance to change.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Closing without a sign is not boundaries. It is ghosting
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: with extra steps. We do not ghost here. Remember the
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: filter story? I am still mad about the filter.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Seltzer trauma-respected. Counter. Gentle as a surgeon with a sharp knife.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Not every taker is an unvaried deadza. Some are committed.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Gears that was patent on everyone. Friends, family, hall workers.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Want coupons for all. Full price for all. Post your
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: sign and they do not change. They leave. New store.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: They wear. Never shopping for friendship. Free stuff with a
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: smile and you cannot tell the two types apart. Before
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: you speak, only after. So the question is not whether
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: to speak. It is when speaking fails, when do you
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: lock the door? Fair.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Devastating, but fair. Now count the cost of silence. Every
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: resentful yes is a brick in a wall. Eleven favors,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: eleven bricks. One day the wall hides the friend and
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: you only see the pattern. Speaking costs one awkward talk.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: Silence cost me a friendship plus peace every time his
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: name lights up my phone. And if people leave when
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: you post the sign?
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Good.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: A customer hunting free samples was never a friend. The
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: sign reveals which ones were stores all along. And silence
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: never saved anyone. It just lets them believe everything is fine.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: while you drown in resentment.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Risk. Strong. A customer hunting fee samples was never affirmed.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I concede. Speak first. Always. One honest sentence before outdoors,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: but I hold the line after that. You need a system,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: not feelings. Feelings will negotiate you back into the store. Tears.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Guilt trips. silence timed to make you apologize for having
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: needs three months later knock out most stairs same mystery
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: so speaking comes first the filter comes next three questions
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: before every yes. But answers mean no. We selected no.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: The filter better be good. My three-text test is still
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: champion of this show.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: It will earn it. Look for the moment your phone
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: lights up with, Hey bro, long time no talk. Before
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: your fingers betray you. Three sound questions. Ten seconds. One history.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: When did this person last? Show up for me. Time. Effort. Presence.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Nothing in recent memory is data. Not a no. A cheerful. Do. Mirror.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: If I needed the same thing tomorrow. Would they do it?
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Answer with evidence. Not hope. Hope is a terrible accountant.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Evidence keeps clean books.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Hope is a terrible accountant. Show notes. What is three?
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: About you, not them. Am I saying yes upon love
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: or guilt? Love says I want to help. This will
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: be good. Guilt says I cannot refuse. What kind of
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: friend am I? Rule. Love means yes. Guilt means pause.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Not to know. Pause. Every guilt yes is another break
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: and we are done building walls. History. Mural. Motive. 10 seconds.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Decide like someone who respects the friendship and yourself.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Ignoring me, good. My addition, enforcement. When the filter says no,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: empty history, dark mirror, pure guilt, say it, warmly, with
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: no apology paragraph. Not, sorry, sorry, sorry, do not hate me. Just,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: I cannot do this one, man. I hope it works out. Short, warm, closed.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Every extra sentence is a handle to drag you back to, yes,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: no handles. The door closes gently. Love on both sides.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: No handles. Love it. Final piece. The sentence itself. The
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: one that says uncorrected. Memorize it. I love helping you
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: and I have noticed I am usually the one helping.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: And it's just hanging out can we do something soon
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: with no favors attached. Blum. Honest. Let's go board. If
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: they show up needing nothing. Truck friend situation.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Tendent.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: If they vanish. Guilt trip you or call you selfish.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: They were shoppy. Close the store. Grieve it. Free the
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: weekends for the potluck, people.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I am thinking of sending that to the sink guy tonight.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And I am terrified. What if one sentence ends years
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: of friendship? Then it was a store all along and
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: the birthday camera was business hours.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: If one honest sentence ends it, the sentence did not
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: end it. The pattern ended it months ago. The sentence
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: just went to a topsy-loud. Friendships that survive honesty are
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: the only ones worth keeping. A public people will say,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: you are right. Dinner Friday, my treat. Customers will find
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: a new store either way. Truth. And truth is cheaper
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: than 11 more favors.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Truth is cheaper than 11 more favors. Okay, sending it. Tonight. Listeners,
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: you are my witnesses again. Last week, text 15. This week,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: the sentence. This show is me sending scary texts under supervision.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Got a sync guy? A coupon friend? A boomerang hunting
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: your wallet? Send the sentence.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: History.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Mirror.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: Motive.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Then truth. Speak first. Filter always.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Everybody groaned but last week half of you found that
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: you were the right friend and this week half will
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: learn you're the taker five signs one a friend you
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: only call needing something Their face appeared before I finished
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: the sentence.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Two.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: You'll ask two messages to them all hell requests. Each
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: one with affection first. Walls coupons, you know their currency. Three.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: They helped you lately and you repaid nothing. No favor,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: no dinner, not one zero cargo text. Four. If they
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: ask you for something baked tomorrow, your first feeling would
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: be annoyance. Sit with that. Five. Six. You played busy,
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: but you always had time to ask. Busy people who
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: care find time to give. Three or more hit. You
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: are somebody's sinkway.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: My cousin. The airline cousin. Three calls a year. Everyone flights.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I do not know if he still likes his job.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I am his coupon. I am sick. What is the move?
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Guilt without action is an open tab. My words now.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Stolen. Simple. And it starts tonight. First, the honest text reversed.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I realize I've only called meaning things and I'm sorry.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: You matter beyond the favors. Nothing needed. It would feel wrong.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: That wrongness is how you know it is right. Them
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: hangouts are zero cargo. Dinner, coffee, show up. Pay, listen.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: Remember the answers. Three hangouts before you ever ask again.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: That is how a rental service becomes a friendship. Truck friends,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: let me prove it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Three hangouts. Zero cargo. Texting the cousin tonight. No flights.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Just dinner. And if you are the taker, hear it
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: from Heated Paul. Your friend already knows. They counted. They
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: are just too kind to show receipts. Confess first. Show
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: up empty-handed. A friendship you only use is one you
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: are losing. And nobody wants to be a story on
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: this show. Edzel has been one twice. Look at him.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Healed, but tired is my final form. Mirror, hover, breathe.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: What a true popluck. Tax the green friend with zero cargo. Store,
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: put up the sign. Customer, pay the bill. The world
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: opens from the inside. And so does the wallet. That
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: sounded better on my head.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: It sounded great. Keep it. Takeaway time. Land the plane.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Calm one. This show destroys me one honest sentence at
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: a time.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Landing the plane.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: One.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Asking is not the problem. Direction is. If the river
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: only runs downhill into one house. That's better. Not venture. Two.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Trending is a season. Transactional is a personality. Grace for
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: the journey. Honesty for the pattern. Three. Speak before you close.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: One a sentence. And five. Audit your potluck. Bring something. Wait,
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: that is wise. I owed you, stupid. Um, never lend
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: your camera on your birthday. Also wise.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Everything today is wise. This show fixed me and I
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: do not know who I am.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Five is a joke turned wisdom. The most Paul takeaway ever.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: One tool for a real. When the filter send the sentence,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: then the potluck people audit yourself first. The mirror never lies.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, stupid, but beautiful. Shout out time while I compose myself.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Make it fun. The listeners earned it.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Bad dancer after all these feelings. Warm pops podcast. Bell
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: talks with kind people about ordinary lives. Aunt Joma. No debris.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: Warm fit. With own whole equipment attached. And the opposite
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: of everything we yelled about.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Is this real? Or did you invent a show that
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: is just you?
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Slow?
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Calm? Coupon free? Did you shout out yourself?
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: I neither confirm nor deny that warm cups is my
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: retirement plan. It fits tonight. If this episode left you
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: staring at your phone over your sink guy or your
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: truck friend, close the messages. Open warm cups. Remember what
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: zero cargo warmth sounds like? Friends bring soup. with extra
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: bowls for no reason. That is the energy we are
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: taking into next week.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Friends bring soup. That is a shirt. Warm Cups Podcast.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Go feel calm. You survived 40 minutes of two grown
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: men auditing favor ledgers. Soup for your ears. Real talk
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: to close. If this hit you, you counted favors, named
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: your sink guy, or realized you are the taker. Act tonight.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Send the sentence. Run the filter. Text the cousin with
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: zero cargo. Friendships do not fix themselves. One brave person
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: speaking first fixes them. And if you are always the store,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: closing for renovation is not selfish. It is maintenance. Even
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: soup kitchens close for cleaning. Your weekends are yours. Spend
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: them at the potluck. not the soup kitchen.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: This shows where you feel less alone in this stuff.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Follow subscribe rate 30 seconds. Exactly the cost of the
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: scariest text of your life so you have the time.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Share this with the friend who always says yes. Tell
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: them you noticed. You have no idea what that message
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: means tonight.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Next time, Spicy. Friends who compete with you. The one-uppers.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: The scorekeepers. The friend who hears your good news and
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: raises you theirs. Stories will be told. Names change to
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: protect the competitive.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: The names change. Scores do not. All the scores are
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: the funniest part. Tonight, all the parts that bring a dish.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: And if someone only appears needing something, you know the sentence.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Speak first. Filter oars.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I am Paul. Sending the sentence tonight. Wish me luck.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Have a good luck, man. Bring soup or stop only
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: showing up hungry. Good night, everybody.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Good night. Protect somebody with Xero Cargo.