Transcript

Stop Confusing Feelings With Facts · Moming and Me: The Podcast

Najah: I understand that people have different perspectives. We all have different experiences, different environments, different vantage points. So I completely understand how two people could walk away from the same situation and feel differently about what happened. What I don't understand is when we stop describing reality. let's say we made tentative plans for the weekend We both agreed we touch base later The week goes by Neither one of us reaches out The weekend arrives Still nothing Then one person finally says, Hey, are we doing something? Now I can understand one person feeling well, you didn't say anything, so I assumed it wasn't happening. That's a perspective. I can understand the other person saying, Well, you didn't say anything either, so I was waiting to hear from you. That's also perspective. But if somebody suddenly says you lied. Now we're no longer talking about perspective. We're changing the facts. Because nobody lied. Communication may have been poor. Expectations may have been different. Feelings may have been hurt. But none of those things actually change what happen. And I think that's where people get themselves into trouble. They confuse their feelings about the event with the event itself. You absolutely have a right to your perspective. You absolutely have a right to your feelings. But let's not abandon reality to protect either one. and if we're going to evaluate the outcome honestly. we have to be willing to look at how we got there too.