Latest / Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod / Episode 191: Swiftly Over A Barrel

Transcript

Episode 191: Swiftly Over A Barrel · Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod

• 0:02
  What it do, what it do, what it do?
• 0:05
  It is your boy Andrew Schultz AKA Mr. Goody 2 Shoes and who am
• 0:10
  I with? As always, Joseph Huggins AKA
• 0:13
  Old Man Huggy. Talk shit or get off the pod.
• 0:16
  Episode 191 Taylor Swift at the Cracker Barrel.
• 0:26
  Welcome, motherfuckers. How's it going, man?
• 0:34
  And what, what do you think about the Cracker Barrel?
• 0:36
  First of all, because there's one like out here in my city,
• 0:39
  they're everywhere. Well, that, well, I'm in
• 0:42
  California and they're not everywhere.
• 0:45
  There just happens to be one in like the city that I live in.
• 0:49
  Have not ate there at that one specifically, but I went to the
• 0:54
  gift shop which I didn't even know existed.
• 0:57
  Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, like, just like
• 1:00
  hella like mushroom, like trinkets and shit.
• 1:02
  Like, I don't know if it's like what's going on here.
• 1:05
  It's like, I mean, we, yeah, it's like Bucky's before there
• 1:09
  was a Bucky's. I again again I I have no idea
• 1:12
  what the fuck Bucky's is like. It's just a big gas station.
• 1:15
  It's like a quick trip with everything in it, like a quick
• 1:17
  trip in a Walmart Supercenter. Again, like I don't think the
• 1:21
  audience knows what a quick trip is.
• 1:22
  However, fun story. Fun story.
• 1:27
  When we when we were. When we were in high school, I
• 1:29
  went to go to the Pink Floyd laser light Spectacular with
• 1:35
  with our boy Kanoff and his mom stopped at a QuikTrip, took
• 1:43
  mushrooms. I was one driving to downtown
• 1:46
  Dallas to go see this at the Majestic.
• 1:48
  I think it was what it was called.
• 1:51
  Yeah. So what it is, it's it's it's
• 1:54
  it's Dark Side of the Moon, laser light, spectacular
• 1:58
  intermission. And then it's the Wall.
• 2:01
  So it's like both albums. Yeah.
• 2:04
  So I take the mushrooms at the QuikTrip.
• 2:05
  We're like 25 minutes away from the venue by the time I got to
• 2:10
  downtown, like 20 minutes later, your boys quickly tripping and
• 2:14
  like I'm like, like there's lights, you know, like I'm in
• 2:18
  like, what's the district like? Where like Trees is at like.
• 2:23
  Not Deep Ellum. Yeah, Deep Ellum.
• 2:24
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 2:26
  OK, Yeah. Yeah, so I'm in Deep Ellum, like
• 2:29
  thinking like, like I had plenty of time before the shrooms
• 2:32
  would, like, kick in. But also just greatest time
• 2:36
  ever. And also weird that our boy
• 2:40
  Kanoff's mom was like in attendance the whole time.
• 2:44
  Was aware of the mushrooms or not?
• 2:46
  100% she used to, She used to allegedly, allegedly she used to
• 2:53
  take Ambien. And remember, we talked.
• 2:58
  I don't know if we, it was you and I talked.
• 3:00
  No, we talked about this in Joshua Tree.
• 3:03
  It's like we take Ambien and then you try to stay up.
• 3:06
  And like triple. Yeah, yeah, She used to do that.
• 3:10
  But like, like where you stay up and then you have sex.
• 3:14
  Like it's like a there's like a term for it.
• 3:16
  I learned about this like when I like went to Joshua retreat to
• 3:19
  like record music, like last year.
• 3:22
  Like they call it like it's like some celebrity like does it?
• 3:27
  I forget who it is though. Interesting.
• 3:34
  That's very interesting. Yeah, driving on mushrooms is
• 3:39
  always an adventure and a bad idea.
• 3:41
  No, no shit. Like, I just thought that we
• 3:44
  would get there like. No, I know.
• 3:45
  I mean. I've but I but I but I took it
• 3:47
  at a a place called Quick Trip and I quickly was tripping.
• 3:51
  Well, Quick Trip is just like an oversized gas station.
• 3:54
  Right, right, right. So it's for the listeners who
• 3:57
  don't know, but they're like very clean.
• 3:59
  They have like cold brew on tap coffee.
• 4:03
  They have so much crazy shit. It's like a it's awesome.
• 4:06
  It's awesome. It's it's.
• 4:07
  Kmart, out here in California, it's the same thing.
• 4:11
  Kmart blue light special no like AK Mart gas station.
• 4:15
  I know. K circle Circle K circle circle.
• 4:17
  K, yeah, yeah, Circle K would be.
• 4:20
  It's better. It's better than Circle K, OK.
• 4:23
  But just that I'm taking mushrooms at a place called
• 4:26
  QuikTrip and I quickly started tripping was like tripping me
• 4:29
  out but I had a but I had a really good time.
• 4:31
  Like oh man, I got a good. Time, yeah, I was like, I was
• 4:33
  like, I thought like. I started to trip at the
• 4:36
  QuikTrip and now I'm quickly tripping.
• 4:38
  I'm tripping out man. It's going real quick.
• 4:40
  Tripping at the QuikTrip? I just started tripping like
• 4:43
  sooner than I thought. Like I thought I'd be able to
• 4:46
  park, like get into my seat and like that's why I took it.
• 4:49
  Like when I took it, it was like, so like I wasn't like
• 4:52
  halfway. You tried.
• 4:53
  To time it you tried to. Time it right.
• 4:55
  Yeah, Yeah. I've I've been timing, timing
• 4:58
  was off. You could never.
• 4:59
  It's hard to time that. It really is.
• 5:02
  That's especially when you get the private reserve.
• 5:06
  True. True How?
• 5:10
  Have you been? Man, I've been busy.
• 5:13
  I've built a rock path, I've built a French drain.
• 5:17
  I've just been going to town, like getting stuff done, but
• 5:20
  it's been hot as balls out here. Super hot in Texas, but I've
• 5:26
  been surviving. We got a little bit of rain last
• 5:29
  week, so that was good. Just been grinded and working my
• 5:32
  life away, man. The usual.
• 5:34
  But things are going all right, I suppose.
• 5:36
  Nothing too crazy, I'd be better.
• 5:39
  I got an alert, I think it was last night, that there's going
• 5:42
  to be thunderstorms in LA and I'm like, what are you guys even
• 5:44
  talking about? Fuck yeah, I'll take it.
• 5:48
  No, I would too. Like, I just like, it just
• 5:51
  didn't make sense to me. It's like, because it hasn't
• 5:55
  been raining and I was like, and it's been like 90° like every
• 6:00
  day. And it's like, well, we've just
• 6:02
  got thunderstorms now. Yeah, see, I went ham and was
• 6:09
  like, I'm going to build this like stone pavers rock path like
• 6:13
  you see everyone do or whatever, but so I did that shit.
• 6:17
  Then I went even crazier and was like I'm going to buy tons of
• 6:19
  irrigation equipment and I dug this huge fucking trench and
• 6:26
  built a drain in the in the rock path so if it rains and fills up
• 6:30
  it has a drain that drains it and runs it underground and away
• 6:34
  from that right before my house and into this flower bed that I
• 6:37
  built. Like some super intricate crazy
• 6:41
  wild shit. Paging Doctor green thumb dude.
• 6:44
  Dude, I've been going like ham, like fucking ham on this.
• 6:48
  I'll send you. Pictures.
• 6:49
  You'll be like this. It looks great.
• 6:50
  It looks great. It looks like I paid someone.
• 6:54
  You want to hear something crazy?
• 6:56
  So remember our Boy P Wig who hooked us up with Melinda's hot
• 7:00
  sauce? Hot Saucy Boy Summer.
• 7:04
  Is he going by P wig still? I feel like it's like.
• 7:07
  Yeah, he is. Frat frat boy music or.
• 7:09
  Something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 7:10
  yeah, you're right, You're right.
• 7:12
  Keeps changing. Yeah, it does keep changing.
• 7:16
  He has a side project. Hits me up.
• 7:20
  Ask me if I want to get on like the chorus 'cause he's been
• 7:24
  listening to my music. And he said like the songs like
• 7:30
  about it was originally about family and then he said, but
• 7:35
  then it kind of changed to the Manson Family.
• 7:39
  So I just like like in the morning, like before I like even
• 7:43
  started working 'cause I'm like working remotely right now.
• 7:48
  I, I hit him with like some lyrics and every single lyric I
• 7:53
  say we're going ham. I was like, it's like, like
• 7:57
  we're going ham. Like with the Manson fam, we're
• 8:01
  going ham. Like we yen mansions, ma'am, we
• 8:04
  go in ham. Fuck, I forget the the third
• 8:09
  line 'cause I like, I just wrote it and sent it to him.
• 8:12
  But like, shit was fire actually.
• 8:16
  But yeah, your boy's about to be on AP wig track.
• 8:19
  I forget what his record label is, but it's real.
• 8:24
  I would say it's either gutter, gutter, mouth.
• 8:26
  Gutter mouth. Gutter mouth, Yeah.
• 8:27
  And then Manson fam is like a group of them.
• 8:31
  So there's like four or five of them.
• 8:33
  I do my research. There's like four or five of
• 8:35
  them. And on gutter mouth, yeah.
• 8:39
  It's like him. I didn't know that.
• 8:40
  It's him. This guy named PAC Manson.
• 8:44
  OK, yeah, I know. You send me like videos.
• 8:47
  Yeah, like it's. Like there's like a chick,
• 8:49
  there's like a a girl and then there's like two other people I
• 8:52
  think. OK, so so it's going ham like
• 8:57
  the Manson fam going ham up in the mansions, ma'am, going ham
• 9:02
  'cause we handsome God damn going ham like the Manson fam,
• 9:08
  like that was just my first take.
• 9:11
  Your boy, your boys got bars, dude.
• 9:12
  So they're going to be on AAP wig P wig track.
• 9:18
  Yeah. Let's go, dude.
• 9:19
  You got to come out to Texas for the video shoot.
• 9:24
  Get Melinda out there. Shout out Melinda by the way.
• 9:28
  Like I was I was just texted Joseph our last episode.
• 9:34
  Most stream fucking episode that we ever had like in like 2
• 9:37
  weeks. Like by far, like not even
• 9:42
  close. Like I went and checked it
• 9:44
  'cause it was like already like up.
• 9:46
  So I just checked it like a couple hours ago and I was just
• 9:49
  like, what the fuck's happening? Did we?
• 9:52
  Did? Didn't we pick up another?
• 9:55
  Oh yeah, also also they're listening to the podcast now.
• 10:00
  In fucking Gaza, in Palestine. Dude, Palestine's not even a
• 10:06
  recognized country like by the United States.
• 10:09
  Shit's on our Spotify, dude. Like these dudes are getting
• 10:12
  bombed by like some genocidal fucking maniac.
• 10:16
  Netanyahu allegedly indicted war criminal.
• 10:21
  That's not alleged. Yeah, yeah.
• 10:25
  And they're listening to our podcast.
• 10:27
  So we got dudes on the front lines of Ukraine listening to
• 10:29
  the podcast. We got fucking starving kids
• 10:33
  listening to the podcast in Gaza City dude.
• 10:37
  Jesus. Not starving, it's famine type.
• 10:40
  Shit, it's true, but Jesus. I'm just saying Allah.
• 10:45
  Now Jesus would say, though, he would let the He would let the
• 10:50
  food in. Yeah, yeah, well guess what?
• 10:53
  Nanya Hutt doesn't give a fucking shit, dude.
• 10:55
  All he needs to do is stop. Stop.
• 10:57
  Or just let the food in. Yeah, or let the food in and out
• 11:02
  bomb the sites where the food's being.
• 11:04
  They just hit a, they just hit a fucking hospital and like killed
• 11:08
  like reporters, like it's ridiculous.
• 11:09
  That is really crazy that they killed that reporter team that
• 11:14
  like pressed like it was like what, 2 reporters, A producer
• 11:19
  and a cameraman like 4 of them. Right.
• 11:21
  Like they they could just stop the war, get all the hostages
• 11:25
  back. Like Hamas is done.
• 11:27
  Like they're done. Yeah.
• 11:31
  It's this is just a I'll just fucking keep it real.
• 11:37
  Your boy Netanyahu is on trial right now for corruption charges
• 11:43
  and will go to prison, but cannot go to prison if he is the
• 11:46
  Prime Minister of Israel and therefore he needs to stay in
• 11:50
  power. And so the far right section of
• 11:54
  the parliament is the people who are keeping them in power, who
• 11:57
  are the people who are sorry, racist against Palestinians and
• 12:03
  are cool with bombing like hospitals.
• 12:07
  Like that's what's happening. Both Israel, Palestine, listen
• 12:15
  to the fucking podcast. So does Jordan, all of them,
• 12:17
  Egypt, they'll get it. They know we all.
• 12:21
  We all know. OK, not that you were pro that,
• 12:27
  but I will say over the timeline your stance is less pro Israel
• 12:32
  than it was before. I'm pro Israel.
• 12:36
  I'm not pro the Israeli government.
• 12:42
  And what? And OK, there's a difference,
• 12:44
  right? It it's just like, I love
• 12:46
  America, dude. You know the red, white and
• 12:48
  blue, but that includes yellow, black and brown too.
• 12:52
  I'm just not pro Trump. I'm not like, yeah, I don't
• 12:56
  like. I'm not pro white nationalist.
• 12:59
  Right. I'm not like, I'm not out here
• 13:01
  like like supporting like the like the fucking federal
• 13:05
  government right now, but I love this country and I think Israel
• 13:08
  has a right to exist like, but I just don't agree with what's
• 13:13
  happening right now at all. That's for.
• 13:18
  There's hundreds of thousands of Israelis out protesting right
• 13:22
  now because of what's happening, like, and when.
• 13:25
  And when you say hundreds of thousands, like that's like, OK,
• 13:29
  yeah, that's a lot of people. There's only 10 million fucking
• 13:32
  people that live there. So that'd be like fucking 30
• 13:37
  million people in the United States out protesting.
• 13:41
  And there's actually a rule if 3% of the population of any
• 13:47
  country goes out and protests, the government gets toppled.
• 13:52
  Like that's like a scientific thing.
• 13:54
  It's like weird. I, I just learned that like a
• 13:57
  few months ago. So if you get 3% of the
• 13:59
  population of any country, no matter how big or small, I'll
• 14:04
  own the streets. Every single time there's a,
• 14:09
  there's a, there's a coup, not a coup.
• 14:11
  But or regime change? A revolution?
• 14:15
  Oh damn. Oh yeah, bark it out,
• 14:19
  revolution. Someone, someone just rang the
• 14:22
  doorbell. Hold on one second.
• 14:24
  Sorry. Ya, let's.
• 14:29
  Open that door. That's badass.
• 14:31
  But but I guarantee you it's just food delivery for my
• 14:35
  roommate. But we both like put like,
• 14:37
  please do not ring the doorbell and like, they just like don't
• 14:40
  listen. And it's just cause like my
• 14:43
  dog's protective. But you know, it's funny is
• 14:46
  because I've been working remotely for like the last week
• 14:49
  and a half. I've had my dog with me and
• 14:53
  like, she just confuses me like 'cause I just don't know what
• 14:56
  her schedule is usually. Like I drop her off at my
• 14:58
  parents and they, they have a backyard and she could just go
• 15:00
  do whatever she does. So I've like taken her on like
• 15:03
  like seven walks today. Just like I'm like, are you
• 15:07
  good? Do you need to like pee?
• 15:08
  Do you need to poop? And then today she was like
• 15:11
  laying like on the patio and I like walked to my room and she
• 15:15
  figured out how to like open the screen door with like her nose.
• 15:19
  Like I thought somebody was like walking into my house.
• 15:21
  I'm like, what the fuck? And like, and I was like, Nah,
• 15:25
  she just clever like that. Just like how she just opened
• 15:27
  the barn door. Like clever girl.
• 15:29
  Yeah, OK, well, my week sucked. I don't know how far we need to
• 15:39
  get into it, to be honest, now that we've gone this far.
• 15:42
  Well, yeah, I mean, I didn't. Wasn't gonna be like.
• 15:44
  No, I don't. Know patronizing and be like,
• 15:47
  how was your week? No, I know.
• 15:49
  I know, I know, I know. OK, so just like I'll just keep
• 15:52
  it brief and then we'll just move to, you know, to the
• 15:55
  regular shit, to the. DQS.
• 15:57
  Yeah, I got into a really gnarly car accident a week ago from
• 16:04
  Friday, so like the 15th fractured my vertebrae, broke
• 16:10
  multiple ribs, collapsed my lung.
• 16:12
  I found out got probably concussed.
• 16:17
  Have a black eye. You might be able to see it.
• 16:20
  Don't remember any of it. Woke up in the hospital and then
• 16:25
  I got this like weird ass fucking thing called like pure
• 16:31
  pure prism, pure pism. And it's like where you're it's
• 16:36
  this really happened. To me.
• 16:40
  No, I'm going to bring it up. I'm just going to bring it up
• 16:42
  because like people need to know how serious it is because I did
• 16:45
  not. So I was, I, I, I, I woke up
• 16:53
  with an interaction on Tuesday. We're recording this on Tuesday.
• 16:59
  So we could go from today. And it never went away.
• 17:03
  And I didn't do anything about it, but I was staying at my
• 17:07
  parents house because I had a fucking fractured vertebrae and
• 17:12
  broken ribs. And so I needed like help like
• 17:14
  literally getting out of the couch from like the car
• 17:16
  accident. And my mom was, like, talking to
• 17:20
  me about how, like, I had an erection, like, and I'm like, if
• 17:25
  like, stop talking to me about my Dick mom.
• 17:27
  Like, you know, like, yeah. It's like, of course they say
• 17:30
  like, after four hours on the commercial of Viagra, I call a
• 17:34
  doctor. It's like, it's like they're
• 17:35
  just trying to cover their ass. Like, I didn't think it was a
• 17:37
  big deal. Shit doesn't go away for all of
• 17:42
  Tuesday, all of Wednesday. Wake up Thursday.
• 17:48
  And it is the most painful shit ever.
• 17:51
  So I put ice on it does, does nothing.
• 17:54
  And I like I just immediately go into my mom's room and I go,
• 17:59
  yeah, we got to go go to urgent care.
• 18:02
  As soon as I get to urgent care, doctor comes in, He he's like,
• 18:07
  yeah, you need to leave. Like you need to go to the
• 18:09
  emergency room. Like right the fuck.
• 18:11
  Now I'm like, he's like, like for real.
• 18:15
  And but luckily like the emergency.
• 18:18
  So like I have Kaiser, just Full disclosure.
• 18:21
  So like I was like, I like the Kaiser urgent care, but they
• 18:24
  contract with this hospital in Ventura that's close by.
• 18:28
  So I that my dad has gone to a lock Z like had a stroke.
• 18:32
  So I've been yeah. So go there 10 out of 10 pain 10
• 18:40
  out of 10 your boys wearing like sweatpants, like not sweatpants,
• 18:44
  sweat shorts, the boxers. So just walking into the
• 18:48
  emergency room with like a full like gas erection, which would
• 18:53
  have been funny had it not hurt so much 'cause like half the
• 18:58
  people would be like, like, what's this fucking weirdo he
• 19:01
  was? Literally the boner guy, My
• 19:03
  boner guy, what are you doing? But then, but then like like
• 19:06
  half the other people be like, yeah, it is like.
• 19:09
  It's it's like crushing. Crushing.
• 19:14
  That that that he came in fully chubbed.
• 19:18
  Nah dude Nah I I I have a fractured fucking vertebrae,
• 19:24
  broken ribs and now I've got 10 out of 10 pain in my penis.
• 19:30
  A 64 hour boner. That that hurts.
• 19:37
  Hurts like more than you can imagine.
• 19:42
  Back in the emergency room. Third time, 7 days, 'cause I
• 19:47
  went to I got taken off in the ambulance in a car crash and
• 19:52
  then I went to the hospital the next day just to like 'cause I
• 19:56
  don't even the whole car crash thing was crazy.
• 19:59
  I. Want concussions and shit like.
• 20:02
  That yeah, I don't know what happened like at all, like what
• 20:05
  happened with it. So I just wanted to like go get
• 20:08
  checked out again, so I went. So the car crash was Friday.
• 20:13
  Went back Saturday to to to this same hospital that now I'm at
• 20:17
  with my penis. And they like, try to like, fix
• 20:26
  it, but it was because, like, I waited for so long to go that it
• 20:34
  just was not going to get fixed like in a normal way.
• 20:42
  And basically the doctor was just like, yeah, dude, you need
• 20:46
  to have surgery right now or your Dick's fucked.
• 20:51
  And I'm sitting there with a fucking fractured spine, broken
• 20:57
  ribs, totaled car. Just like, what the fuck did you
• 21:03
  say to me, dude? That.
• 21:04
  And there's a nurse next to me and she just grabs my like arm
• 21:08
  because she just, she just knows like this is the heaviest shit
• 21:12
  you've ever heard in your life. And so it's just like, I have to
• 21:16
  make a decision, right? The fuck then if I'm getting
• 21:20
  surgery or not on my Dick. So obviously I do.
• 21:27
  And literally like 2 hours later I get pulled into like the
• 21:33
  surgery room, right? They're playing fucking Lady
• 21:35
  Gaga. I ask if like the surgeon like
• 21:39
  listens to music whenever they do surgery and they're like, it
• 21:42
  depends on the surgeon. But yeah, doctor I'll, I'll
• 21:45
  shout him out. Doctor Yang.
• 21:47
  It was tight like he does. And I go, OK, cool.
• 21:52
  Can we change it? Cause your boy like thinks like
• 21:56
  he I, I might just died like at this point, Jada, like I've just
• 21:59
  been in like a car accident like that.
• 22:00
  I thought I almost. Died you just you just yeah,
• 22:03
  yeah, going going through it. Through it like through like
• 22:07
  beyond. I'd like a better walk up song
• 22:09
  than applause by Lady Gaga. Not that it's a bad song, no no,
• 22:14
  I would just pick something different.
• 22:16
  This is not me shitting on Lady Gaga like I'm this is my, this
• 22:19
  is just, I'm, I'm just giving you contact.
• 22:22
  I'm giving you contact. Yeah, no, I'm, but no, no.
• 22:25
  So so so the so the nurses asked me what I want like to put on.
• 22:30
  I go my music and then and then I and I get them to, to, to go
• 22:37
  to at Mr. Goody 2 shoes at YouTube, throw up on my shit.
• 22:44
  And then, and then this anesthesiologist is like could
• 22:49
  not have been like better. Like like she's just like, hey,
• 22:52
  listen, like I know this is fucked up.
• 22:54
  Like, like I'm going to be with you this whole time.
• 22:56
  Like you like, it's going to be like a time warp.
• 22:59
  Like, you know, we're going to give you the medication, but I'm
• 23:01
  going to be here this whole time if anything goes wrong.
• 23:04
  Like just like making me feel like really comfortable, right,
• 23:08
  with the promise of giving me like Xanax so that I feel less
• 23:13
  anxious leading up to this. 5 minutes goes by, some slumpy ass
• 23:20
  like old dude, like out of shape, just like walks in.
• 23:25
  He's like, oh, I'm the anesthesiologist now I'm on
• 23:29
  call. So the so like the woman who
• 23:32
  just gave me like the pep talk made me feel like super good.
• 23:34
  Like how she was never going to leave my side the entire time
• 23:37
  for the surgery already gone. I'm like no so dude.
• 23:45
  I was on call so I'm here. I swear to God it was creepier
• 23:49
  than that. Is this your music?
• 23:54
  Dude, I was like yo, what the fuck?
• 23:58
  And also when does the Xanax come, dude?
• 24:01
  And then they hit me with like the Xanax.
• 24:04
  It wasn't like Xanax, but it was whatever.
• 24:06
  It was like the same type of shit equivalent, like through
• 24:08
  like IV and then yeah. And then I just woke up like 2
• 24:13
  hours later. And then I had to stay like the
• 24:17
  night over in the hospital and my mom like took me there and
• 24:22
  she went to go move the car because like where we parked was
• 24:26
  2 hour parking only. So she just went to go move it
• 24:32
  at the exact same time that they told me like, bro, like you have
• 24:36
  the you have to go to surgery now.
• 24:41
  So she's gone while they're saying that to me.
• 24:43
  So she runs into the nurse who is there in the room as she's
• 24:48
  coming back. And the nurse tells her like,
• 24:52
  I'm going to surgery and I'm sorry.
• 25:21
  They're good, ma'am. All right, so like she's crying
• 25:28
  and apologizes for crying and that like crushed me.
• 25:38
  It's like, you know, to say sorry to me.
• 25:47
  But I did luck out like with what's crazy is like I got a
• 25:54
  therapist the day before just 'cause I was so bummed out about
• 26:01
  like what app? Like I I like I was just think
• 26:03
  it's good app a therapist. And I was just, like, bummed out
• 26:08
  about, like, the car crash and like, just, yeah, yeah.
• 26:12
  They're going through a lot. Right, and but your boy had the
• 26:17
  erection, you know, the whole time, like untreated at this
• 26:20
  point, 'cause it's when like I went to the hospital Thursday,
• 26:24
  it shit started Tuesday therapy sessions Wednesday.
• 26:28
  Luckily though, she had a couch with like a pillow.
• 26:31
  So I got to like put it over. But like my therapist doesn't
• 26:34
  even know the next day I'm like going to like get surgery like
• 26:39
  on my fucking Dick. Like it's insanity, dude.
• 26:43
  It was like what is going on? OK, And the reason why this
• 26:48
  happened was I went to my car to get shit out of it, like when I
• 26:54
  was at like at the towing place because it was totaled.
• 26:57
  And like they put all like the broken like stuff like from the
• 27:00
  outside of my car, inside of my car.
• 27:02
  So it was like hard to like get to shit.
• 27:04
  But like I had my backpack in there with like, you know, like
• 27:07
  the supercomputer and shit. And so I was like trying to get
• 27:10
  stuff and I had this like prescription called Trazodone
• 27:16
  that it's like, it's like you it like it's for something else.
• 27:19
  I forget exactly what it's for. It's like seizures or something
• 27:23
  or like, but they use it off. They found out like off label.
• 27:27
  It's like good for sleep and like they prescribe the shit out
• 27:30
  of this like like all the time to people.
• 27:32
  Like I used to take it like all the time, but like I just was
• 27:36
  trying to get off of like all like prescription pills.
• 27:39
  So I just like had a full bottle and it and it was like one thing
• 27:42
  I could grab. So I just grabbed it out of the
• 27:43
  car, right. And then I just took it like at
• 27:47
  night on Monday, which is, you know, the accident was Friday.
• 27:54
  I went Monday to my car, got the shit, took it on Monday, like
• 27:58
  with like the Tylenol and Advil whatever, and when I Google
• 28:03
  finally googled like hey, like your Dick's been hard for three
• 28:08
  days Like this is a problem. It said like multiple things
• 28:12
  like could cause like the that to happen.
• 28:16
  One would be like side effects of taking a a drug and the only
• 28:21
  drug they listed was Trazodone, which was the drug that I took.
• 28:27
  But then the other causes were damage to your spinal cord and I
• 28:33
  had both happen like within like that weekend.
• 28:37
  But isn't that insane? That's like wild thing.
• 28:40
  Like I didn't like I stopped taking like this shit.
• 28:43
  Like I don't even know why it was in my car like.
• 28:45
  Yeah, but it's like, was it like, how old was it?
• 28:48
  Like old old. Like at least a year.
• 28:53
  But but no, but no. But when I told the doctors
• 28:56
  about it, like like saw multiple doctors like that, like
• 29:00
  throughout like the Thursday, Friday process when I mentioned
• 29:04
  that they're like, Oh yeah, yeah, that is actually inside
• 29:07
  it. Like that is for sure why I'm
• 29:11
  like, why are you guys like handing this shit out like it's
• 29:14
  fucking. Like, Oh yeah, that happens.
• 29:16
  I'm. Not kidding though.
• 29:17
  So I had a another appointment with the doctor already lined up
• 29:23
  before all of this. So like at the same place as
• 29:26
  like the therapist. So like the therapist works at
• 29:29
  this like behavioral health thing with the Kaiser.
• 29:32
  And but then there's an actual doctor.
• 29:36
  Yeah. So I had that lined up for
• 29:38
  Monday. And so I'm telling him like the
• 29:40
  story, right. Like I got discharged on Friday.
• 29:44
  The therapist has no idea. And I'm telling him the story
• 29:47
  and he tells me how he fucking like prescribes Trazodone to
• 29:52
  people all the time and he had no idea.
• 29:56
  I know this is going to sound like I'm making this up.
• 29:59
  This actually happened to me. So the boy gets discharged on
• 30:04
  Friday. I go and walk the trail that's
• 30:08
  like right by my parents house just cause I've been like laying
• 30:11
  in a fucking bed for 24 hours. I just wanted to like.
• 30:14
  Move. Yeah, yeah.
• 30:16
  I get, I get a call from CVS pharmacy in Port Wanemi, which
• 30:21
  is like not even, it's like 25 minutes away from like where I
• 30:25
  live, saying that a prescription from Rite Aid at in Port Wanemi
• 30:32
  had been transferred to the CVS 'cause that Rite Aid had closed.
• 30:37
  And I'm like, and I had been getting like Tylenol and Advil,
• 30:40
  like prescriptions, you know, from the doctor, like from the
• 30:45
  hospitals for like the accident and then whatever.
• 30:51
  So I'm like, I'm like, I was like, OK, like I was like, well,
• 30:55
  can we just, I was like, what prescription are you talking
• 30:58
  about? Not kidding.
• 31:01
  I've been out of the hospital for one hour, just had surgery.
• 31:05
  Everybody thinks it's because of Trazodone.
• 31:08
  They say there is a prescription available for me at the CVS in
• 31:15
  Port Wainemi for Trazodone. I go what?
• 31:23
  And then she says it's for one tablet.
• 31:32
  Like what is the timeline I'm living in?
• 31:37
  What some So somebody made you a prescription for Trazodone for
• 31:41
  one pill? Which doesn't even make sense.
• 31:45
  The bottle that I got out of my car, I had like fucking 300 of
• 31:49
  them. What?
• 31:49
  What? Who cut you that prescription?
• 31:53
  No clue. They they can't tell you.
• 31:56
  I didn't ask are they? Taunting you, I have.
• 31:58
  No, I swear to God that happened dude.
• 32:03
  Like like immediately after I got this child.
• 32:08
  No, but no, no, I I am like no, please laugh.
• 32:11
  That's fucking crazy. Wild, wild.
• 32:14
  I'm like, what prescription are we even talking about?
• 32:17
  Like, you know, it's like, and then she hits me with the trust
• 32:20
  and I'm like, are you fucking kidding?
• 32:21
  And then I was like, no, I don't want that.
• 32:25
  Like the last doctor I talked to, he's like never ever again
• 32:29
  trusted. And I was like, trust me, I
• 32:31
  never wanted to do it ever again either.
• 32:33
  I just was in pain and thought it would help me sleep.
• 32:36
  And I just had it because I got it out of the fucking car
• 32:40
  because I was trying to grab all the shit out of the car that I
• 32:42
  crashed that I don't remember crashing.
• 32:45
  Like, like, you know, it's like this like whole like Confluence.
• 32:48
  And then she goes, well, it's just for one tablet.
• 32:51
  I'm like, like, like, what did you just say to me?
• 32:56
  That's almost like intentional. Yes, yes.
• 33:01
  Like unbelievable shit, dude. Like I'm like, what are you
• 33:07
  doing? And OK, and then I just got to
• 33:13
  just keep keep it going. So five day, like within 5 day
• 33:19
  mandatory check up on your boys. You know, we'll, we'll just
• 33:24
  refer to my genital. Doctor Yang's got to check the
• 33:26
  Wang. Yeah, there you go.
• 33:28
  Big facts is what we'll call it. OK, you can call it that.
• 33:34
  Actually, well, yeah, I different story.
• 33:38
  I I, I got back into my online poker account and with a
• 33:44
  different e-mail as, as, as suggested by you remember, I got
• 33:49
  shadow banned. Yeah.
• 33:51
  So instead of going by Mr. Good Air, go by big facts now.
• 33:57
  And it worked fine. But anyways, so.
• 34:01
  OK, so I had. So I thought that that would
• 34:05
  just be scheduled, right. It's like I got your boys got
• 34:09
  sutures and it's big facts. Yeah.
• 34:13
  I have no idea what this shit is supposed to look like.
• 34:15
  Looks fucking crazy. Just figured that would be part
• 34:20
  of like the discharge. Like, you know, I sent so much
• 34:22
  paperwork. It's like, you know, everybody's
• 34:24
  like taking care of me. Like this is what you got to do
• 34:26
  this what you got to do. Now I have to schedule the
• 34:29
  appointment. So I do go and call the number
• 34:35
  to schedule it. They need a referral from
• 34:41
  Kaiser, even though they contract with Kaiser.
• 34:44
  And that's why I went to the place where I went to the
• 34:46
  hospital in order for him to do a follow up on my surgery that
• 34:52
  needs to be done within five days.
• 34:54
  We're here at 5 days. So your boy now has to go to an
• 34:58
  appointment tomorrow at 2:00 for a nurse to look at my Dick to
• 35:07
  then refer to a hospital for Doctor Yang to look at my Wang.
• 35:14
  Everybody's got to get a slice, man.
• 35:17
  But what are we doing, dude? Like, why do I have to even
• 35:20
  schedule it? And then now I have to go to
• 35:23
  someone else so that they can confirm that I need to it to get
• 35:29
  looked at like I like, that's not even like a shot.
• 35:33
  I get the American healthcare system.
• 35:35
  That's just like retarded hard R, hard I I just don't like it's
• 35:45
  like dude, dude, dude, how many LS, how many LS?
• 35:53
  But at the same time, at the same time like, you know,
• 35:57
  everything else is good. Like I'm in better spirits, like
• 36:00
  my like body actually feels better.
• 36:02
  Like I like for like my neck and like back was like really fucked
• 36:05
  up like but now it's just my penis.
• 36:11
  No, it's another no. It's something that has nothing
• 36:13
  to do with the crash. Well, kind of, though I never I.
• 36:17
  Guess. It's all kind of related.
• 36:19
  I'd never like a like a president was in my car for like
• 36:21
  a year. I'd never even thought about
• 36:23
  taking. Final destination kind of way.
• 36:25
  Yeah, like, like butterfly effect.
• 36:27
  It's like, yeah. Dude.
• 36:29
  Final destination, dude. Yeah.
• 36:32
  But OK, so but what I did here, like I'll just leave at this
• 36:35
  like as anonymous as I can just for just, I don't know, whatever
• 36:41
  responsible purposes the place that I went was at actually got
• 36:47
  shut down. I found this out while I was
• 36:50
  there because they were like selling drugs behind the bar and
• 36:54
  like doing like off shit. And then like got and then they
• 36:58
  were allowed to like reopen. Like I don't know, like I forget
• 37:00
  the story of why, but my sister used to work like 3 Doors Down.
• 37:05
  I got this other bar and she knew exactly like the place that
• 37:10
  I was at. And she told me like, yeah, no,
• 37:13
  they were like notorious for that.
• 37:15
  And so like, I was there for two hours.
• 37:18
  I don't remember leaving. It's like, what the fuck
• 37:23
  happened? Let me just leave it at that.
• 37:31
  There's 2 Austin stories. There was the Yasin brothers.
• 37:35
  They were big in the Austin club scene.
• 37:37
  They owned like Kiss and Fly, which was a big gay bar, bunch
• 37:41
  of other bars and downtown Austin.
• 37:44
  And they got caught with like murder, extortion, distribution
• 37:48
  of narcotics. They were like selling coke and
• 37:50
  stuff in their clubs. Crazy story.
• 37:52
  I think they both got arrested. I know one of the brothers fled.
• 37:56
  I want to say they were from Syria maybe, But they like
• 37:59
  booked it. One of them booked it.
• 38:01
  Then there's another. There's a girl I used to date
• 38:04
  and her roommate worked at this place called Hovito's.
• 38:08
  It was on South Congress. Shitty little place was like a
• 38:12
  part music venue. These motherfuckers got arrested
• 38:16
  for murder and shipping heroin. So they were reusing Hovitos as
• 38:22
  a front and I like went in there and ate and like talked to the
• 38:25
  people who like owned the business, who were like
• 38:28
  murdering heroin dealers, but ran this little shitty ass Tex
• 38:33
  Mex place in South Congress Austin.
• 38:36
  That's way more prevalent than like you realize like that
• 38:38
  shady. No, no.
• 38:40
  No, because a lot of it's like especially it's all cash bar
• 38:45
  stuff like that. It's really easy for you to wash
• 38:47
  stuff. Right.
• 38:48
  Well, it wasn't all cash, but it was divey.
• 38:52
  Yeah, yeah, I like. But but, but, but it was like it
• 38:56
  was in Sherman. I'll just, I'll just say it was
• 38:58
  in Sherman. I was like in a busy place like,
• 39:02
  but it's like nothing about any of it makes any sense to me.
• 39:07
  But like what I like it just like the last thing I remember
• 39:14
  is just like having a good time, like just totally fine.
• 39:19
  And then I just wake up in the hospital.
• 39:22
  I don't remember any of it. Like, like, so just like, I just
• 39:26
  don't get it. And I talked to my insurance
• 39:29
  company and asked if they were going to like investigate it,
• 39:33
  you know, and they said no, but it would be a good idea if I did
• 39:38
  because it was like at a cross street.
• 39:40
  So I'm like wondering if like maybe there's like cameras, like
• 39:42
  on the stop lights because I like, really like, it doesn't
• 39:45
  make sense. Like how like and just for y'all
• 39:48
  didn't know like I'm the only person that was involved in this
• 39:51
  crash like like nobody else was like hurt or anything even there
• 39:57
  it was just me. Like that's what, that's the
• 40:00
  part that just doesn't make sense to me.
• 40:03
  Yeah, I don't know. That's fucking wild, man.
• 40:06
  I mean, I'm glad you're OK. I'm glad you're healthy.
• 40:09
  But. And then my penis fell off.
• 40:11
  It didn't fall off it like it it it went.
• 40:13
  It went too hard. I'm glad your penis will be OK.
• 40:18
  Well, we hope so. I mean, fingers crossed if if we
• 40:20
  can see if we can ever get to Doctor Yang.
• 40:22
  Yeah, Doctor Yang takes a look at the Wang.
• 40:24
  I'll let you know that there ain't a.
• 40:26
  Thing, you know, it's funny, like the the doctor's
• 40:28
  appointment I had scheduled for my body on Monday yesterday.
• 40:33
  His name is Doctor Lang totally different.
• 40:37
  Just like a chilled out like white dude like who like looks
• 40:40
  like he like plays like in like a band with like Ben Harper or
• 40:44
  something. But yeah, but then, but then,
• 40:47
  but then I had Doctor Yang, you know, like just just like giving
• 40:52
  me hand jobs, like for like 24 hours.
• 40:54
  Asian guy. Yeah, but but, but, but I I
• 40:58
  Irish last first name Patrick Patty Yang.
• 41:04
  That's what I called them. Patty Yang, That's a sickest
• 41:07
  name under these therapy questions.
• 41:09
  Let's do it. All right, so yeah, as we've
• 41:21
  mentioned, I'm in charge of the therapy questions and I've
• 41:26
  brought them strictly back to Would you Rather's and
• 41:29
  ridiculousness. Also just want to give you a
• 41:34
  shout out actually old man Huggy.
• 41:37
  I shared the notes with someone and that's someone.
• 41:46
  From today. Yeah, today, like right before
• 41:48
  we started recording. OK.
• 41:50
  Gave you a shout out. What'd they say?
• 41:56
  They said I like him already. Oh, because of what I picked.
• 42:01
  Yeah, yeah. Because we had been talking
• 42:05
  about see, well, that's that's the thing that I was trying to
• 42:09
  say. Like I think like a few months
• 42:10
  ago was like that we should like run down what we're going to go
• 42:14
  over in the beginning of the podcast because I feel like a
• 42:17
  lot of podcasts do that and for a reason.
• 42:21
  But like, people have no fucking clue.
• 42:23
  Like what we're. About but we have like we have
• 42:25
  like good banter and. Like no, I know shit.
• 42:28
  Talking So that's like where it's good is it's like a like
• 42:32
  while we're we don't really edit, we mean we stream this
• 42:36
  everything live, we record live. So there's a like an organicness
• 42:41
  to it that it's nice that we just like kind of shoot the shit
• 42:44
  for a little bit. Sometimes it's 5 minutes,
• 42:47
  sometimes it's for 20 minutes. Well, that's also what this
• 42:50
  person was asking was like, because I showed the notes and
• 42:52
  like the like, oh, so you're not going to talk about any like
• 42:55
  personal stuff? I was like, no, we always do.
• 42:57
  That's just that part's just not in the notes.
• 43:01
  But my point is like, like I'll listen to a podcast and be like,
• 43:06
  this is like, this is what we're like.
• 43:08
  Pod Save the World is so like on Spotify, you get to pick like,
• 43:14
  what is this podcast similar to? So like I got to pick like 2
• 43:20
  podcasts that I like that I feel like they're similar to ours,
• 43:24
  but they're not really. They're just my favorite podcast
• 43:28
  Pivot and then Pod Save the world.
• 43:31
  But like like they'll like breakdown, like this is what
• 43:34
  we're talking about. Like these are the topics like
• 43:37
  in the beginning. And it's like, I'd like to me,
• 43:42
  it's like, I don't really give a shit, but like, I feel like
• 43:45
  there's a reason they do that, you know, It's like that.
• 43:48
  They've like tested it and it's like.
• 43:50
  Yeah, we can do that shit. No, I know, I know, I had
• 43:53
  mentioned it before but like I just.
• 43:55
  Anyways, so here comes some ridiculous shit and and you only
• 44:01
  get to know about it ahead of time.
• 44:02
  If you know you exclusive like that, you and the club there be
• 44:11
  question #1 would you rather relive your most embarrassing
• 44:17
  karaoke performance or your most awkward first kiss?
• 44:26
  See, I'd probably say most embarrassing karaoke performance
• 44:29
  because if it's ever embarrassing, I I don't
• 44:32
  embarrass easy in that sense. So if it was embarrassing for
• 44:36
  me, I probably had a blast and that was fine.
• 44:40
  So I mean, most awkward first kiss, That would just be weird.
• 44:44
  I don't even, I mean, but I guess I feel like that'd be like
• 44:48
  cringy a little bit because you'd be reliving it so you
• 44:51
  couldn't change anything to not make it awkward.
• 44:54
  You know It's funny. OK, well, this is, this is where
• 44:57
  I'm at. Like, I don't like, yeah.
• 44:59
  Like I have no trauma in karaoke experiences.
• 45:02
  You know, it's like, it's like this shit's going to be like
• 45:06
  probably wack like, you know, like, or expected to be wack.
• 45:11
  Like for the. Yeah.
• 45:12
  So if it's like, if it's good at all, like, you're good.
• 45:16
  Like people love you just for going up and seeing in the 1st
• 45:19
  place. They're like hell yeah man.
• 45:21
  Like get back up there. You were terrible.
• 45:22
  Go again. Right, right, right.
• 45:24
  So so there's that. But also though, anytime that I
• 45:31
  have like a bad first kiss, I don't blame myself.
• 45:36
  I blame it on the on the. Yeah, you're like whoa, bro, get
• 45:40
  it together. No, I blame it on like the
• 45:43
  chick. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
• 45:45
  You're like. Whoa, you said bro.
• 45:47
  You said bro. Yeah, because if it's that
• 45:49
  awkward, you'd be like, bro, what are you doing?
• 45:51
  What? Is this?
• 45:51
  I just wouldn't refer to it you're making out with as a bro.
• 45:55
  At that point, if it's that bad, you're already I'm.
• 45:57
  Putting you in a new category, you're.
• 45:59
  Shuffled off, you're in the bro category.
• 46:00
  I'll make out with the Bros. Like it's just, and it's not
• 46:04
  like I just automatically do it. Like I'll like overthink it and
• 46:07
  be like, did I fuck that kiss up?
• 46:09
  No, but. But I couldn't be me.
• 46:14
  No, like I know I'll, I'll, I'll consider like the fact that it
• 46:17
  was me, but it's like, I don't know, I just feel like I'm good
• 46:22
  at it and like it's like, if it's off, it's off like, like,
• 46:26
  and I'd, I'd, I just would rather not do that.
• 46:29
  Like I'll just go up there and embarrass myself in karaoke all
• 46:32
  damn day. Yeah, I mean.
• 46:34
  I mean your your boys dropping like fucking like YouTube covers
• 46:36
  like like every fucking day. So I got to care less and
• 46:40
  couldn't care less, I should say.
• 46:44
  Somebody in the chat on YouTube just said big facts.
• 46:48
  They're talking about big facts. Big Facts is going to be making
• 46:51
  a comeback. Don't call it a comeback.
• 46:56
  Been here for years. No, I mean, and like most, I
• 46:59
  feel like most people's awkward kiss moments are normally when
• 47:02
  they're younger, so it's like. I disagree.
• 47:05
  Hard disagree. You can have them.
• 47:08
  What I'm saying is no, they're more impactful when you're older
• 47:11
  because you're like, whoa, what? But you've had.
• 47:14
  But there's an all sorts of awkward like kiss moments when
• 47:17
  you're younger because you're trying to like find your game.
• 47:19
  You know, you're trying to like trying to find that season and
• 47:21
  you're trying to find the right combination and then you.
• 47:24
  Figure it out. I don't know.
• 47:25
  I don't know. I feel like it's it came out the
• 47:27
  womb just crushing it. No, no, I feel like that like
• 47:33
  the older that like I got like the less consistent that like
• 47:43
  the first kiss is good. I always felt like the first
• 47:47
  kiss was good, like every time, like up and and then there was
• 47:52
  like a moment where it was like I was like, right what?
• 47:57
  Well, but that's like, oh, this is you have pizza for the first
• 48:01
  time and you're like, this is the best fucking pizza I've ever
• 48:03
  had. And then you need another pizza
• 48:05
  place. By the time you've had like 15
• 48:07
  pizzas, you're like, you know what?
• 48:08
  That first pizza I had wasn't that great of a pizza.
• 48:10
  I've had better pizzas. So it's like the more pizza you
• 48:13
  try, the more you can identify bad pizza, but the more pizza
• 48:17
  you try, the more bad pizza you're going to encounter.
• 48:21
  What I am saying is if you reach a certain point to where, yeah,
• 48:26
  it'd be more, it's more awkward if you were older and you were
• 48:29
  to like kiss somebody who doesn't know how to even do it
• 48:33
  and you're like, what the fuck is this?
• 48:34
  That's what I'm saying. That would be weirder.
• 48:37
  That would be weirder and more impactful than when you were
• 48:39
  younger, because when you were younger, everybody's trying to
• 48:41
  figure out if they can, how to do it in the fuck first place.
• 48:44
  That's what I'm saying, to some extent, trial and error and you
• 48:48
  find a group, whatever. But you both are figuring that
• 48:52
  out. So it's like man, you know,
• 48:54
  like, hey, you know what, that we both we're both going to mark
• 48:57
  Parr on our golf cards, but we both took nine shots last hole.
• 49:01
  But like, we both. Suck at all.
• 49:02
  You know what it is. Maybe it's because it's so like
• 49:06
  when you're younger, it's like, so like you're in the moment in
• 49:11
  the present, like, and it's happening.
• 49:14
  So, so therefore it is good. Yeah.
• 49:17
  Whereas like maybe like people are overthinking it when they're
• 49:20
  like, you know, like they're 30s or whatever 40s what you know,
• 49:25
  and then or, or as you would say, as you would say, maybe
• 49:32
  she's single for a reason, dude. I'd say that about so much.
• 49:38
  You said that about. You said that about the the ex
• 49:42
  and. Voldemort.
• 49:44
  But like, but like day of like the breakup, I was like bro, I
• 49:48
  was like just. Spin.
• 49:50
  Right. Just pump the fucking brakes
• 49:52
  bro. I tried to.
• 49:53
  I tried to. Gand off.
• 49:54
  I know, I know. Gand off the Gray you did.
• 49:56
  I know, it was just too soon. Shit was shit.
• 50:00
  Hashtag too soon? Stumbled back across me in the
• 50:03
  woods like a glowing white lady. Like who's that?
• 50:05
  It was like Gandalf the White Son.
• 50:10
  But no, yeah, I'd rather do embarrassing karaoke
• 50:13
  performances because sometimes, sometimes I'll pick embarrassing
• 50:16
  songs that have no business singing on purpose just to get
• 50:19
  people into it. Because you can change the room
• 50:21
  with karaoke if you're shameless about it.
• 50:23
  They'll get inspire others to make an ass of themselves.
• 50:26
  Exactly what I. So it's like it's, you know,
• 50:28
  it's karaoke, it's everybody's in it together.
• 50:32
  Not not even kidding. So like I I'll put out covers
• 50:35
  all the time, like on YouTube, but I've been practicing a
• 50:39
  karaoke song and you, you know what it is.
• 50:43
  Hey, baby Hurricane Chris. And like, to me, it's like, it's
• 50:49
  like. Hurricane Chris killed somebody.
• 50:53
  No, Hurricane Chris took his own life.
• 50:58
  It was it was the Now watch me whip.
• 51:01
  Wait what? Pack the fuck up, Dark Alert.
• 51:05
  I'm pretty sure. You just say that.
• 51:06
  Did you say Hurricane Chris either murdered somebody or
• 51:09
  committed suicide? Just like unprompted when I was
• 51:13
  trying to say that like I'm choosing.
• 51:15
  Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Robert. Kate.
• 51:17
  Hurricane Chris spent time in jail in 2020 after being
• 51:19
  arrested for second degree murder in connection to a fatal
• 51:21
  shooting at a Shreveport gas station.
• 51:24
  He maintained he acted in self-defense, which was later he
• 51:28
  acted in self-defense when he tried to steal his vehicle,
• 51:30
  which was later found to be stolen itself.
• 51:32
  So he was driving a stolen car and killed shot a man trying to
• 51:35
  steal a car from him, 2023. That's the hardest thing I've
• 51:38
  ever. Found him not guilty on all
• 51:39
  charges he was released on after a trial that lasted almost three
• 51:44
  years and was released from jail on a $500,000 bond.
• 51:48
  So I think, yeah, he's acquitted for almost three years.
• 51:51
  So he was found not guilty on self-defense, but he did kill
• 51:54
  somebody. Well, no, yeah, no, he shot
• 51:58
  somebody and then but self-defense and then.
• 52:04
  He he defended his stolen car. Yeah, he was driving a stolen
• 52:08
  car and someone tried to steal his car.
• 52:11
  That's Hurricane. Why is he now like a fucking
• 52:14
  legend? Bro, that's my whip.
• 52:16
  That's my whip. Hey, baby, but like, but it's,
• 52:20
  you know. This this car is stolen.
• 52:22
  But it's exactly what you're talking about.
• 52:24
  It's like get the like vibe change like in like in the room,
• 52:29
  like, 'cause I feel like everybody can get up for that
• 52:31
  song, you know? It's like.
• 52:32
  Whip, nae nae guy who's whip he was sent Ricky Hogg.
• 52:37
  Now watch me, whip and watch me. No, I know the song, but I
• 52:41
  didn't know Yeah if y'all yeah on the audio Joseph's hitting
• 52:48
  you with. A hand whipped it, whipped it
• 52:49
  pretty hard. Was sentenced to 30 years in
• 52:52
  prison for a 2021 shooting death of his cousin.
• 52:55
  He pleaded guilty to mentally ill to voluntary manslaughter
• 52:59
  and other charges related to the killing.
• 53:01
  So both of those guys shot some motherfuckers.
• 53:03
  One of them shot his cousin and he's locked.
• 53:06
  Why are they? Why are they related?
• 53:09
  Well, you just like whipped Mayday.
• 53:10
  And I was like, oh wait, you said Hurricane Chris.
• 53:13
  I was like, hey, wait, I think that fool killed somebody.
• 53:16
  And then I was like, no, wait, that's the whip Nae nae guy.
• 53:19
  And then it was no, they both killed somebody.
• 53:22
  So I was right and wrong. There you go, both shooters.
• 53:27
  And I'm actually never wrong. One time I actually thought
• 53:31
  never wrong. One time I actually thought I
• 53:33
  was wrong, but I was wrong. I was right.
• 53:37
  Now that's a joke that I used to have.
• 53:40
  I'm never wrong. I'm always right.
• 53:41
  One time I thought I was wrong, but I was actually right.
• 53:45
  There's an old episode, it's super stupid, but it's Aqua Teen
• 53:49
  Hunger Force. Love that show.
• 53:51
  Used to love it all the time. And there's an episode with the
• 53:54
  moon and nights. So they're like the little cube
• 53:56
  dudes that come down from the moon and they're flat and they
• 53:59
  say Outland is shit all the time about how like they're perfect
• 54:03
  and they have this thing where they'll just be like everything
• 54:05
  we do and say is right. I was like, I love how that
• 54:08
  sounds. So I'll say that sometimes just
• 54:11
  arbitrarily, like everything I do in that I say is right.
• 54:14
  Well for the for the record I'm very self aware and I know that
• 54:18
  I do wrong things and and am ready to admit it and apologize
• 54:22
  for them. Next question.
• 54:28
  Fucking staring at you, dude. No, I'm serious.
• 54:33
  Me too, motherfucker. Me too.
• 54:37
  There's a question #2 would you rather your therapist office be
• 54:44
  a bouncy castle? A would a a jolly jump bounce
• 54:50
  house? I think they call it jolly jump
• 54:52
  out here. Bouncy castle, that is.
• 54:55
  The jolly jump. Get the fuck out of here.
• 54:58
  The jolly jump. No, no, no.
• 55:00
  Did you not make jokes about the California No no figure a former
• 55:08
  former music artist that we would play on the podcast Wifey
• 55:15
  in the jolly jump like at a part like a kids party jumps knee to
• 55:23
  her nose, concussion breaks her nose, has to get surgery like
• 55:32
  months and months of therapy. Jolly jump, bro.
• 55:37
  That's what we're talking about here, OK?
• 55:38
  Would you rather your therapist's office be a bouncy
• 55:41
  castle? Bouncy castle or a haunted
• 55:46
  house? See, I thought about this.
• 55:48
  Is this a bounce house that's got multiple people in it?
• 55:51
  Like is it just open? Like are we sitting in the
• 55:53
  middle of it and they're bouncing around?
• 55:56
  Or is it just like an empty bounce house is?
• 55:58
  Just you and the therapist. See, that would be kind of
• 56:01
  tight. It sounds like a Paul Rudd
• 56:02
  movie, like something that would happen in a Paul Rudd movie.
• 56:05
  Like, oh, I'm falling in love with my therapist in this
• 56:09
  session I've imposed upon her 'cause she works as like a.
• 56:13
  Falling in love with your therapist is like so so
• 56:17
  problematic. Oh for sure.
• 56:18
  That's why it's a Paul Rudd. Movie and then your boy's got
• 56:21
  like a hard on when he's like me and his therapist for the first
• 56:23
  time, like, you know, just about to get surgery the next day.
• 56:26
  Like just just come on dude I did not want to be in a bounced
• 56:31
  castle falling in love my with my therapist.
• 56:35
  I'm just saying that sounds like something that would happen in a
• 56:37
  Paul Rudd movie. You meet your therapist.
• 56:40
  Or or like Adam. Adam Sandler, like Billy
• 56:43
  Madison. David Spade, David Spade type
• 56:45
  shit. Now the haunted house.
• 56:48
  I instantly was like haunted house and that of course.
• 56:51
  Because you love ghosts. There'd be a little brevity, be
• 56:54
  a little comedic relief because I'm assuming it's a haunted
• 56:57
  house where there's like, people are going to pop out.
• 56:59
  People might scare you. It's a haunted house.
• 57:02
  OK, but where's the comedic? Really.
• 57:04
  I've never laughed at our haunted house.
• 57:07
  That would be funny. You would kind of laugh.
• 57:09
  You got a jump scare when you were talking about something
• 57:11
  traumatic and then some dude acts like he's going to get you
• 57:13
  with the chainsaw. Everyone has a laugh, they
• 57:15
  leave. I mean, I've never seen that.
• 57:17
  It would mix it up. It would mix it up.
• 57:19
  It'd be it might be easier to talk about heavy topics if.
• 57:22
  While some dudes like just jumping out with the.
• 57:25
  Yeah, he's not going to hit you. You know you signed the waiver.
• 57:27
  But you're like, yo-yo, yo. They said that I needed surgery
• 57:31
  on my Dick. Yeah, like feel better.
• 57:34
  But you know what I do? I thought, you're going to cut
• 57:36
  my hands off for a second. No, I got my hands and my Dick.
• 57:40
  I'm good. Because a bounce house would
• 57:44
  just be. That would be fucking.
• 57:46
  OK, Well, OK, So what you're saying is I went to the Ventura
• 57:49
  County Fair recently and I was trying to convince someone to go
• 57:52
  on the on the Hyperloop with me, which is just like, it's fucking
• 57:56
  sketchy, but it's like not. All those sketchy dude, the fact
• 58:00
  that we used to get on that shit is like so.
• 58:03
  To me, this was to me, this was like third on the list of
• 58:09
  sketchy of of the rides. Like there's a lot of rides, but
• 58:14
  it was like 1's like obviously we're not doing like that's
• 58:17
  fucked up the zipper. And then there's the Gravitron
• 58:22
  where it just spins you around to you puke, not doing that
• 58:25
  Hyperloop sketchy. But like I wanted to trauma
• 58:32
  bond, you know, couldn't, couldn't convince.
• 58:36
  But that's what you're saying is you're trauma bonding with your
• 58:39
  therapist here at the haunted house.
• 58:43
  I'd rather that over the bounce house because I'm just going to
• 58:48
  be sitting. Indians selling a bounce house
• 58:49
  also sounds like. Are you?
• 58:51
  Are you going to a haunted house with the homies?
• 58:53
  Like I'm I would only go to a haunted house if it was like on
• 58:57
  a date or like with a girl and. I haven't been to a haunted
• 59:00
  house in years. Right.
• 59:02
  But that's what I'm saying like, like, are you like signing?
• 59:04
  We're sitting down. We're just sitting down in A
• 59:06
  room having a therapy session. Sit down in a bounce Sit down in
• 59:10
  a bounce castle and you don't have something to do with the
• 59:12
  chainsaw coming out you with fake blood I.
• 59:15
  Choose that I choose. That and also haunted house is
• 59:17
  like a lot of things, like what if it's actually haunted?
• 59:19
  Like you believe in ghosts? And then a real haunted house.
• 59:22
  Then, then, then. You're the one who believes in
• 59:24
  ghosts. We'd both be leaving with
• 59:26
  therapy. When did I say I believe in
• 59:28
  ghosts? Like at least 10 times on this
• 59:32
  on this podcast that you think? Yeah, I do OK.
• 59:35
  What are you talking about? To a certain extent, yes.
• 59:38
  I don't think everybody think people that leave.
• 59:40
  Us, we've established, we've established that you think of.
• 59:44
  Even then you could just. I talk about too much crazy shit
• 59:48
  to assume that I don't. That'd be like, oh, Joseph
• 59:50
  totally thinks like that. There's some sort of Bigfoot.
• 59:53
  They'd be like, what? No, I don't.
• 59:55
  No. OK, well I get that part, no?
• 59:57
  But then there probably is. Oh, OK, maybe, maybe, maybe a
• 1:00:03
  home girl who who got injured in the in the jolly jump figure a
• 1:00:10
  the the the hubby AKA also put his music on the pod.
• 1:00:15
  He believes that Bigfoot exists like for real.
• 1:00:19
  Like he's he's a big Yeti supporter of that.
• 1:00:24
  Like he like golfs a lot and he's just like, convinced.
• 1:00:31
  Obviously not. It depends on the source.
• 1:00:36
  If somebody's telling me a Bigfoot story they got, that's
• 1:00:39
  like AI don't know. I guess you call it like a are.
• 1:00:41
  You telling me like? These an 8 an 8 tooth like meth
• 1:00:45
  rule. If they've got less than 8 teeth
• 1:00:47
  and I'm probably not going to believe them as much.
• 1:00:49
  But if they got like, you know, if they're not too methy, I'm
• 1:00:53
  like, OK. So 9.
• 1:00:54
  So 9 is the limit for teeth. Yeah, if they have 9, I'm like,
• 1:00:57
  OK. How many teeth do you think you
• 1:00:59
  have 'cause I think you like are underestimating how many teeth
• 1:01:02
  it like you? Know but I mean nine would 9
• 1:01:05
  would be. 9's still like. It's not a lot, but remember
• 1:01:08
  this is these are Bigfoot people, so it's not like you
• 1:01:12
  know. I need, I need, I need, I need
• 1:01:16
  double digits on the teeth like if I'm going to like take
• 1:01:19
  anything seriously and. You're never going to find
• 1:01:21
  yourself a good Sasquatch hunter, dude.
• 1:01:25
  I don't want need a Sasquatch. Between 15 and 9 teeth.
• 1:01:29
  Guess what? Guess what?
• 1:01:29
  It turns out that there are no good.
• 1:01:32
  But I want them like in sections, you know, like I want
• 1:01:34
  like there to be a good like four or five in the top maybe
• 1:01:38
  they got. Two in the back, one over.
• 1:01:40
  Here. You want like the like symmetry.
• 1:01:43
  Yeah, no, no, no, they can't be blocks of it, but I'd rather the
• 1:01:47
  blocks not be symmetrical. So it can't be like 04 and then
• 1:01:51
  5 or 6. It's got to be like, you know,
• 1:01:54
  4/2, 1A molar still, that's for chewing.
• 1:01:59
  That's when you're gonna trust them.
• 1:02:01
  Yeah, I trust that guy. Just point me in the direction
• 1:02:03
  of a Sasquatch. Well, my point is there are no
• 1:02:06
  good Sasquatch. And and if he sleeps, if he's
• 1:02:08
  like I haven't slept in days, then it doesn't matter how many
• 1:02:10
  teeth he has. I would think you're just
• 1:02:12
  hearing. Shit.
• 1:02:12
  OK, let let's just play this out like for real.
• 1:02:16
  So if Sasquatch A Yeti exists, big friend.
• 1:02:22
  OK, OK, they're pre human, right?
• 1:02:26
  Pre pre homo sapien, I should say.
• 1:02:31
  Or or let's say like at least around the same time.
• 1:02:35
  Well, yeah, there would be. The timeline.
• 1:02:38
  The timeline is similar, right? One of the biggest, Yeah.
• 1:02:41
  Well, you would be talking about a potential like missing link.
• 1:02:45
  No, no, there's been like what I'm talking about is that that
• 1:02:49
  these are less evolved beings that are being alleged to exist
• 1:02:57
  yet. Yeah, it'd.
• 1:02:58
  Be like, it'd be like a yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:00
  Nobody can fucking find them, and they're just like the most
• 1:03:03
  elusive motherfuckers on the planet.
• 1:03:07
  Like come on, Like are, are you like a retarded autistic human
• 1:03:15
  who's just oversized Christ, All right, Like as portrayed or are
• 1:03:21
  you like, it's like with Joe Biden, It's like, it's like,
• 1:03:25
  like Joe Biden's like like out here, like dealing with like
• 1:03:27
  Ukraine and like, you know, like the, the Biden crime family.
• 1:03:31
  But he also has like dementia and can't like like, you know,
• 1:03:34
  like wipe his own ass. It's like, well, which one is
• 1:03:36
  it? Is he like this like
• 1:03:37
  international, like criminal or is he fucking like like
• 1:03:42
  incontinent like? I think we, I think both.
• 1:03:45
  I think that when we realized that he was Joe was sailing out
• 1:03:51
  to sea, I think they just stopped as much.
• 1:03:55
  And then they laid off the crime family a little bit.
• 1:03:57
  They're like, Oh no, this motherfucker is as old as we
• 1:04:00
  thought he was. They were saying both at the
• 1:04:02
  same time. I know I'm just a criminal.
• 1:04:04
  Fucking genius who can't wipe his own ass.
• 1:04:07
  Like like if you told me it like an octopus, like we never
• 1:04:09
  received an octopus but you told me an octopus existed but we
• 1:04:14
  never seen it. I believe that.
• 1:04:16
  What do you think is more likely to exist?
• 1:04:19
  Actually no, because this probably be the latter.
• 1:04:25
  So it's actually stupid. What do you mean you're also
• 1:04:32
  breaking up a question? Type that.
• 1:04:34
  Just be cool. That'd be cool if Sasquatch was
• 1:04:37
  real. No, I agree.
• 1:04:39
  I just don't. I just, it's like, come on.
• 1:04:41
  Like we, we we would have figured that out by now.
• 1:04:43
  Yeah. We have some.
• 1:04:44
  Fun. Like, weren't you?
• 1:04:46
  Weren't you the one who was saying like, like we could drop
• 1:04:49
  drones on like people like at the border?
• 1:04:52
  Yeah, I'm just saying if you wanted to actually like surveil
• 1:04:55
  the border, you could like surveil the fucking border and
• 1:04:59
  militarize it if you want to be serious about it.
• 1:05:02
  That's all I ever. Said you're like that's.
• 1:05:05
  And I love when I said that I think for the first time on the
• 1:05:08
  pod, you were like, that is a crazy stance.
• 1:05:12
  I'm like, no, I mean, yeah, that'd be pretty extreme, but
• 1:05:16
  there's a lot of conservatives that would be like, that's way
• 1:05:18
  too much. But I'm just saying if you're
• 1:05:20
  serious about it, then you'd do something about it.
• 1:05:22
  Probably a war crime, but OK. No, it wouldn't be.
• 1:05:26
  How would it be a war crime? To drop drones on innocent
• 1:05:31
  bombs. Not saying bad, I'm not talking
• 1:05:33
  about bombing drones, I'm talking about surveillance
• 1:05:35
  drones. Like infrared shit, right,
• 1:05:37
  right. Well, like high tech stuff that
• 1:05:39
  they can use to track people. I got you when you set it up
• 1:05:42
  though, like when you said it, you were talking about how we
• 1:05:45
  like hit hit that one dude with like the with the missile that
• 1:05:50
  just like chopped him up like it and like on his balance.
• 1:05:54
  Well, yeah. Well, I was just saying.
• 1:05:55
  That's how you set it up. And I'm like, I was like, that's
• 1:05:57
  what you wanted to do? No, what I'm saying is that we
• 1:06:00
  have we, if we have the technology to do that, we have
• 1:06:03
  the technology to just like. Right, right, right.
• 1:06:05
  Right. Make sure nobody crosses if you
• 1:06:07
  don't want them to do without. Hurting them, right?
• 1:06:09
  But we all know that they do want them to cross.
• 1:06:11
  It's just a fucking politics, yeah.
• 1:06:14
  For sure. There'll be question #3 would
• 1:06:18
  you rather eat spaghetti with your hands or soup with a fork
• 1:06:26
  forever? Spaghetti with my hands.
• 1:06:31
  I don't want to eat soup with a fork for forever.
• 1:06:33
  Even if people judge me and think I'm gross because I eat my
• 1:06:37
  spaghetti with my hands, people think I'm a fucking moron if I'm
• 1:06:41
  sitting there eating a gazpacho with a goddamn fork.
• 1:06:45
  I guess spacho is the soup that you go to.
• 1:06:49
  Being wordy and I'm scooping it with a fork.
• 1:06:51
  Cold ass soup is what you're talking about.
• 1:06:54
  Yeah, I'm in Texas right now. It's really hot and everybody's
• 1:06:57
  like, hey, look at this ass who's eating his soup.
• 1:07:01
  It took him 20 minutes to have half of his soup because he
• 1:07:05
  refuses to use a spoon. Like that's crazy.
• 1:07:08
  Like people would think you're nuts, man.
• 1:07:10
  Every time we go to Spaghetti Warehouse, so you get spaghetti,
• 1:07:12
  man. He just uses his hands, dude.
• 1:07:14
  He's crazy, man. How often?
• 1:07:16
  How often are you at Spaghetti Warehouse?
• 1:07:18
  If you are known as the guy, oh, that's the guy who eats his soup
• 1:07:22
  with a fork, people are going to be like, that guy's a fucking
• 1:07:25
  psychopath. Yeah, yes, yeah.
• 1:07:30
  That is like. So is American Psycho.
• 1:07:32
  So is eating. Yes, but.
• 1:07:35
  You could make, but you could make that way more like oh ha ha
• 1:07:38
  ha, and then you just don't fucking eat spaghetti.
• 1:07:42
  But if I have to eat every time I.
• 1:07:44
  Have soup, but OK, so. So you'd rather have soup than
• 1:07:48
  spaghetti is what you're saying? Like.
• 1:07:51
  No, I'd basically just eat it with my fucking hands.
• 1:07:54
  I wouldn't give a shit. I come up with something beyond
• 1:07:57
  Shark Tank, like spaghetti spaghetti gloves.
• 1:07:59
  You said then you don't eat spaghetti.
• 1:08:02
  No, you could if you were really trying to avoid it and not
• 1:08:05
  worried about. It obviously I'd be worried
• 1:08:07
  about it. But eating soup with a fork is
• 1:08:10
  psychotic and people will be afraid of you.
• 1:08:14
  People will be like, oh man, life of the party, that party
• 1:08:16
  animal, the way he eats that. Spaghetti.
• 1:08:18
  What if it's like a chunk with his hands?
• 1:08:20
  Like a chunky soup. No, then you're like, what?
• 1:08:22
  Like picking the beans out, Like get the fuck out of here, dude.
• 1:08:25
  You're going to be in some like business setting, whatever.
• 1:08:28
  It's going to be a very important, you're going to be in
• 1:08:30
  a very important business life. Like big potatoes soup?
• 1:08:34
  And your partner's going to sit there and be like, dude, we got
• 1:08:37
  to book this deal. If you do the fucking soup fork
• 1:08:40
  thing, I'm going to fucking kill you.
• 1:08:43
  Don't do it. And then the soup's going to
• 1:08:45
  come out because it comes with it.
• 1:08:47
  It's lobster bisque. It's going to be super creamy.
• 1:08:49
  And you're going to go straight for the fork.
• 1:08:51
  And that dude's going to be like.
• 1:08:52
  Lobster bisque works if there's chunks of lobster.
• 1:08:55
  Yeah, to get the chunks of lobster.
• 1:08:57
  Otherwise you're going to be like.
• 1:08:58
  Yeah, OK, bro. Bacon bro, Bacon bro they bring.
• 1:09:01
  Out of here. They bring the lobster bisque
• 1:09:03
  with the spaghetti at the same time.
• 1:09:06
  You're telling me spaghetti with the hands is going to look
• 1:09:09
  better? You don't order the spaghetti.
• 1:09:12
  I'm saying saying they come out at the exact same time they put
• 1:09:16
  both of them. OK, then yes, then you could.
• 1:09:18
  Then you could. Just what?
• 1:09:20
  No, no, no. Which one?
• 1:09:21
  You you got? You got soup with the fork.
• 1:09:24
  You got spaghetti with the hands.
• 1:09:25
  They're both in front of you. You got to pick one.
• 1:09:28
  Which one do you think looks better?
• 1:09:31
  Probably. Obviously God.
• 1:09:35
  Damn, but no. But that's also.
• 1:09:37
  The hands is insane. If you keep doing that, it's
• 1:09:40
  going to catch up with you and you're going to be known as the
• 1:09:42
  soup fork guy and you could spaghetti hands guy is is the
• 1:09:47
  party guy and he's a fucking party.
• 1:09:48
  He's spaghetti. And you could do it like, kind
• 1:09:50
  of like, like, like delicately with the spaghetti, be like, you
• 1:09:54
  know, like pick it up with like maybe a couple fingers.
• 1:09:57
  You can make up some story, make it like 7.
• 1:09:59
  It doesn't have to be like, it doesn't have to be like, like
• 1:10:02
  messy. Yeah, you could be calculated
• 1:10:05
  with it, but you will look like a fucking lunatic.
• 1:10:10
  Well, especially if there's a spoon available.
• 1:10:12
  Yeah, you know, there would be and you'd be, you'd refuse to
• 1:10:15
  use it because you couldn't use it.
• 1:10:16
  So that's what I'm saying is people be like, dude, if you do
• 1:10:18
  that shit again and there was a spoon on the table, I'm going to
• 1:10:22
  kill you. You will lose friends over.
• 1:10:23
  What if it was like Spaghettios though?
• 1:10:26
  But it's but. That's so that's different.
• 1:10:27
  That's different. Spaghettios.
• 1:10:30
  There's a whole wrench into it because that's spaghetti.
• 1:10:32
  You use a spoon and it's and and it's and it's spaghetti and it's
• 1:10:35
  soup. Yeah, spaghetti OS mascot.
• 1:10:40
  Weird. That's how you that's that's how
• 1:10:42
  you break the fucking timeline, bro.
• 1:10:43
  It's is. You either have to eat spaghetti
• 1:10:47
  with your hands or soup with a fork and you just eat
• 1:10:50
  spaghettias and the simulation's over.
• 1:10:55
  Yeah, you shoot. It's then you meet the
• 1:10:58
  architect. Yeah, Mr. Anderson, you know,
• 1:11:02
  it's it's fucking Elon and ketamine.
• 1:11:05
  Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh man, I'm so hot,
• 1:11:09
  right? You're like, you were never hot,
• 1:11:11
  dude. That was never a thing.
• 1:11:13
  Like no one ever said that about you.
• 1:11:16
  He's like no no, the the chick out Hot Topic did.
• 1:11:19
  Yeah, she's going to have my kid.
• 1:11:22
  Oh, definitely, Obviously. Yeah, where's her?
• 1:11:25
  I would have Elon's kid if you if you would actually pay like
• 1:11:28
  child support, you know, like what she doesn't allegedly
• 1:11:35
  therapy question #4 would you rather every handshake be a
• 1:11:42
  thumb war or every hug be A and it's deleted out of here for
• 1:11:50
  some reason. What?
• 1:11:51
  What was it? I have to go pull it up.
• 1:11:54
  Hold on, it was every handshake be a thumb war?
• 1:11:59
  How did that get deleted? But I have it saved somewhere
• 1:12:02
  else on man, man we slipping. Hug be oh, oh, I know what it
• 1:12:09
  was. Hug be a tango.
• 1:12:13
  There it is. I don't remember what I put in.
• 1:12:17
  Hug. Be a tango or more, thumb more.
• 1:12:26
  Like like do you have just irrational confidence with your
• 1:12:29
  thumb game? Pretty good at thumb wars.
• 1:12:31
  And that'd be less awkward than like, hey, like nice meeting you
• 1:12:35
  or hey, and you meet someone every time you hug somebody.
• 1:12:37
  You got to do a tango. That'd be a little much.
• 1:12:39
  Kind of tight. Meeting a girl's parents for the
• 1:12:42
  first time. Tango Dip.
• 1:12:43
  Are you hugging? Are you hugging the girl's
• 1:12:45
  parents the first time you meet them?
• 1:12:47
  Maybe. Maybe if they seem nice.
• 1:12:49
  Maybe it's a strong handshake. If you get well, the dad, my
• 1:12:52
  mom's are always like, like, oh, OK.
• 1:12:55
  You know, you gotta break that barrier.
• 1:12:57
  Hey, I like some sweet dads. You give them a firm handshake,
• 1:13:01
  good respect. Like hey, thank you for letting
• 1:13:02
  me spend time. Well, you know, like, like there
• 1:13:05
  is like a difference like in Texas and California, like on
• 1:13:08
  how that shit works. Yeah, 'cause I feel like in
• 1:13:12
  Texas, like it's a hug no matter what almost.
• 1:13:17
  It's a, it's a hug unless otherwise.
• 1:13:23
  And then in California, it's like the opposite.
• 1:13:28
  It's like a handshake, unless like you're feeling comfortable
• 1:13:31
  enough for a hug like in the beginning.
• 1:13:33
  Yeah, and see, with my last name, Huggins, people are like
• 1:13:35
  oh so. You, you just be getting hugs
• 1:13:38
  out here. Yeah, sometimes.
• 1:13:42
  OK, what if they don't even know what the fuck your last name is?
• 1:13:44
  They'll be like, oh, is it OK if I give you a hug?
• 1:13:46
  I'm like, yeah, sure. But then also like, but both of
• 1:13:50
  us. My name My name is Huggins.
• 1:13:51
  I have, but but we'd be managing people like it's like, I'm not
• 1:13:55
  trying to hug anybody. No, but you know, sometimes
• 1:13:59
  people need hugs. No, I agree.
• 1:14:01
  But also recently people have been been trying to hug me, you
• 1:14:06
  know, because I've been going through some shit but I got like
• 1:14:08
  4 broken ribs and a fractured. Oh, and the boner gives distance
• 1:14:13
  too. It's like, hey, you got.
• 1:14:14
  To I had to say that so close to my roommate today.
• 1:14:17
  You gave me a hug and I was like OK but also watch out bro.
• 1:14:21
  I'm like, yeah, back up, dude. You have to.
• 1:14:24
  You don't have to take your keys off the belt loop.
• 1:14:26
  Put them in the pocket, man. Yeah, I thought more over every
• 1:14:32
  hug be a tango. That'd just be obnoxious.
• 1:14:35
  It would take forever seeing. Your why is it forever?
• 1:14:38
  Does it be a TT? Doesn't have to be forever.
• 1:14:43
  If if it takes me 10 seconds, 10 seconds.
• 1:14:47
  If it was everybody got a 10 second hug.
• 1:14:49
  That would be creepy. No, it's a tango.
• 1:14:52
  So a 10 second tango that would take a while.
• 1:14:55
  That means that it would literally take 10 seconds.
• 1:14:58
  That means if I went, I met up with family and there was like 6
• 1:15:03
  people there, would take me a minute to hug everyone and say
• 1:15:06
  hello. Fuck that, hey what's up?
• 1:15:08
  He wants a hug, cool. Boom boom boom.
• 1:15:10
  Get them that way. Boom, let's see.
• 1:15:11
  Let's go sit down. I mean, it would be kind of
• 1:15:15
  tight, like, like, especially if like, whoever you're hugging is
• 1:15:23
  is just now involved in the tango.
• 1:15:25
  Well that's they would be, so they would have to be either
• 1:15:28
  they fight you on it and not be into it.
• 1:15:31
  OK, well then, well, I don't like that part.
• 1:15:33
  Yeah, exactly or. I want, I want it to be just
• 1:15:37
  like the hug is consensual, I want the tango to be consensual
• 1:15:41
  as well. But if the thumb war was
• 1:15:42
  consensual, that'd be tight. No, I agree.
• 1:15:45
  Job interview, shake hands with the guy you're about to
• 1:15:47
  interview and you beat him in a thumb war.
• 1:15:49
  Then you sit down and ask me questions.
• 1:15:51
  I just whipped your ass dude. What if?
• 1:15:53
  Yeah, like real talk like your boy.
• 1:15:57
  You know, we we've talked about the irrational confidence.
• 1:16:00
  I found out that there was a tournament for like money for
• 1:16:04
  rock, paper scissors and for years and probably still right
• 1:16:10
  now I'm just like trying to be more humble.
• 1:16:12
  I think I could win that tournament for real.
• 1:16:18
  Rock paper scissors. That's what that's what the
• 1:16:22
  thumb more. Well, I don't.
• 1:16:24
  I just heard this is like I haven't like researched it but
• 1:16:26
  like start training soon as I heard I was like I was like, Oh,
• 1:16:32
  I'd win that shit. But like they're it's like
• 1:16:37
  there's no rhyme or reason why anybody would win.
• 1:16:41
  It would just be a pure luck. No, there's got to be some sort
• 1:16:44
  of strategy too. Like like there might be tells
• 1:16:48
  on like some people. Well, not just tells like what's
• 1:16:53
  the most probable and being odds, like what's the most
• 1:16:57
  probable picked thing or you know, whatever.
• 1:17:02
  No, there's. What?
• 1:17:03
  What do people pick first? Most paper, rock or scissors.
• 1:17:06
  Right, but then, but then you, but then you have to think about
• 1:17:08
  like that person's thinking about that too.
• 1:17:11
  So then they're thinking about, you know, it's like a fucking
• 1:17:13
  chess match, but it's just random.
• 1:17:18
  But just like the irrational confidence that I would like
• 1:17:21
  definitely win that tournament. It was just, I think it's funny,
• 1:17:24
  I was thinking about it the other day.
• 1:17:25
  So do you show that rock is used 35% of the time?
• 1:17:29
  Scissors around 30. We're talking about tournament
• 1:17:31
  professional players, bro. We're not talking about your
• 1:17:35
  average Joe. It's a Reddit threat.
• 1:17:38
  How to mathematically win at rock paper scissors.
• 1:17:42
  You could do a little research. Take the game by storm, man No.
• 1:17:45
  I'm sure like there's an edge to it, but I feel like everybody
• 1:17:49
  who's entering into the tournament has already done the
• 1:17:54
  research. So it's like you got to do like
• 1:17:57
  counter. It's like it's like
• 1:17:59
  counterintelligence. It's like, it's like, I know
• 1:18:03
  that you think that I, you know, rock is 35% and then I might
• 1:18:07
  come out with that so that you're going to do this.
• 1:18:12
  So then I have to counter that, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:18:15
  Like. Strategy gets hard and it's to
• 1:18:19
  the point where it's just fucking random and makes no
• 1:18:21
  sense that you would anybody would think that they were.
• 1:18:23
  Like I guarantee you, there's no repeat champion rock paper
• 1:18:28
  scissors tournament winners. Back-to-back.
• 1:18:33
  No, I mean, that'd be to talk about underrated.
• 1:18:38
  Then you'd be that'd be GOAT status.
• 1:18:40
  Have you ever won back-to-back Rock, Paper Scissors
• 1:18:42
  championships? Yeah, that person would be a
• 1:18:44
  legend. A legend.
• 1:18:46
  We would know that person's name for sure.
• 1:18:49
  It's like, what? What?
• 1:18:51
  What's the dude who eats all the fucking hot dogs?
• 1:18:53
  Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut, Like, you know
• 1:18:56
  what I'm saying? Like that dude goes.
• 1:18:58
  Out there scarfing down glizzies and we know his name.
• 1:19:03
  That's glizzying it up. That's right.
• 1:19:04
  That was for you, Jen's ears, which is like.
• 1:19:07
  Shout out, shout out. I've had the pleasure.
• 1:19:12
  I don't really talk about work much, but I got to train
• 1:19:15
  somebody for the past like 5-6 weeks it's been a fucking blast.
• 1:19:20
  And she just went off. That was great.
• 1:19:23
  It was she just went off to wherever she was going to go and
• 1:19:26
  one day we were working and it's like early like 630 get there,
• 1:19:31
  shit sucks and walks in fucking glizzy.
• 1:19:36
  She picked up at like QuikTrip. She was like, yeah, man, I was
• 1:19:38
  eating this hot. She's like, yeah, breakfast,
• 1:19:40
  man. It's like a.
• 1:19:41
  Six start Start paying your boy. She was like, she was like 6.
• 1:19:44
  She was like 6:00 AM. Glizzy just gets it done
• 1:19:46
  sometimes. And I was like, fuck yes.
• 1:19:48
  Like that's not for me, but fuck yes.
• 1:19:51
  Not kidding, like when I when your boy was doing pool boy shit
• 1:19:55
  the the gas station like that was in between my office where I
• 1:19:59
  get the pool boy truck to the pool boy supply place.
• 1:20:04
  We're selling glizzies. 3 for a dollar. 10 That's a steal.
• 1:20:12
  Then I walked in one day and it was 3 for 298 and I asked him.
• 1:20:21
  I was like what? What happened here 'cause I just
• 1:20:23
  found out about it. Like like, 'cause it's like 7:00
• 1:20:26
  AM. Like I'm not really trying to
• 1:20:27
  eat a fucking hot dog at 7:00 AM, but like that's steal 3 hot
• 1:20:31
  dogs for a fucking dollar. And I asked the lady about it,
• 1:20:35
  it was, it was you get one for for $0.99 or you can get 3 for
• 1:20:46
  298, which is actually more money than if you just bought
• 1:20:52
  one, one and one. And but it changed all of a
• 1:20:56
  sudden, right? It used to be 3 for a dollar.
• 1:20:58
  So I'm like, what happened? And then she told me like the
• 1:21:00
  owner like, like had been been like bitching about this for
• 1:21:03
  years, how he's like losing money on the hot dogs and then
• 1:21:07
  finally raised the price. And I'm like, OK, but like, you
• 1:21:10
  realize that like you're charging more if you buy three
• 1:21:14
  than if you bought three single ones individually.
• 1:21:18
  And then I I went in there the next day and they had changed
• 1:21:21
  the price. Shout out.
• 1:21:26
  I mean, I was like, what are you guys doing?
• 1:21:28
  Like you're not hooking anybody up by like like this.
• 1:21:32
  Like discount buy three paid pay 1 cent more like that's the how
• 1:21:39
  that shit works. One gallon is 5 bucks or I could
• 1:21:45
  sell you 10 gallons for $500. No, it'd be like, it'd be like
• 1:21:50
  for like 1 gallon's 5 bucks or I could sell you 10 for 51.
• 1:21:55
  Yeah, it'd be like, wait, what? Like, yeah.
• 1:21:58
  Oh, that sounds great, babe. We should get that deal.
• 1:22:01
  But then like, put a sticker out there for like the deal, yeah,
• 1:22:06
  after you just raised the price on everybody who's like stoked
• 1:22:09
  they're getting 3 hot dogs for a dollar for like the last 10
• 1:22:12
  years or whatever the fuck. Yeah, and you know, he's just in
• 1:22:14
  the back office like fuck. And then they would give you
• 1:22:17
  like all the condiments and shit for free, which got kind of
• 1:22:19
  messy. And so I just like.
• 1:22:21
  I don't. Know yeah, the public condiment
• 1:22:23
  stations are always pretty rough.
• 1:22:25
  Well, they'll give you like the packets.
• 1:22:26
  It's just like, it's like it's 7:00 AM, dude.
• 1:22:29
  Like I'm eating a hot dog and I'm like getting like relish
• 1:22:33
  like on myself. Like it's like I, I, it's like I
• 1:22:37
  only did it like maybe twice. That's a live commitment, dude.
• 1:22:41
  It's like it's but. Yeah, the chick glizzy 6:00 AM
• 1:22:45
  Glizzy ketchup won't. Is that what we're calling her?
• 1:22:48
  6:00 AM Heard she's Queen of Elizabeth, now Queen of.
• 1:22:51
  God, I like it. I.
• 1:22:54
  Like it. Thanks.
• 1:22:54
  Yeah, but you got 6:00 AM glizzy ketchup only.
• 1:23:00
  That's rough work. I was impressed.
• 1:23:03
  I was like. That's why girl.
• 1:23:05
  I was like, that's what I thought.
• 1:23:06
  Was that did she have the caucasity?
• 1:23:09
  Half Caucasity. When you hit me with the
• 1:23:12
  ketchup, your boy's putting mayonnaise on his just because
• 1:23:16
  they would give it to me. So they give me in the.
• 1:23:17
  Middle. Of course he did.
• 1:23:18
  You walked in. White.
• 1:23:20
  Boy, they're like, oh, you want? He wants mayonnaise.
• 1:23:22
  No, I just he needs that. He wants I just they asked me
• 1:23:25
  like like like again. I did this like twice but like.
• 1:23:30
  That boy, White white, his Mama put.
• 1:23:31
  No, I just like, give me all the commentments that you have
• 1:23:34
  because I didn't know what they had, and it would be relish,
• 1:23:37
  mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup. And it's like, well, I got all
• 1:23:41
  the shit. Like might as well do it then.
• 1:23:43
  It's like getting fucking messy. It's like, dude, I have work to
• 1:23:46
  fucking get to. Like, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:23:48
  Like what am I doing? Like eating a hot dog.
• 1:23:50
  Yeah, this white boy wants some mayonnaise, Dude, his mom used
• 1:23:53
  to put Miracle Whip in in his in his baby bottle.
• 1:23:57
  I grew up on Similac. I grew up on Miracle Whip and
• 1:24:01
  titty milk. My dad's, my dad's mom, my
• 1:24:03
  grandma worked in a mayonnaise factory in Philly.
• 1:24:07
  That's the whitest shit I've ever heard.
• 1:24:10
  The most Irish shit you've ever heard?
• 1:24:12
  Yeah, mayonnaise factory is ain't white.
• 1:24:18
  Yeah, it's like a office yellow hue.
• 1:24:22
  It's like bro coming out something like mayonnaise
• 1:24:25
  everyday. Shout out Gigi.
• 1:24:26
  Dude, that's gotta be tough. Like on God.
• 1:24:29
  Is that what we're calling my grandma?
• 1:24:31
  So it's called my grandma. So grandmas are just Gigi.
• 1:24:35
  I called her little grandma and then and then big, and then in
• 1:24:41
  my mom's big grandma, even though she wasn't big.
• 1:24:43
  It was just that my dad's. I don't know if that's what I
• 1:24:46
  think. What's the term?
• 1:24:48
  She died young. She seemed old, but she died
• 1:24:51
  young from lung cancer. She fucking power smoked.
• 1:24:56
  Damn Mayonnaise Factory will fucking do that to you.
• 1:25:00
  Dudes like fucking shit power. Smoking.
• 1:25:03
  She got, yeah, she got, she got her pension too, so she earned
• 1:25:07
  that shit, dude, for sure. Well let's give her a shout out
• 1:25:11
  though she did make this blanket for me when I was like 8.
• 1:25:15
  OK, shout out. Yeah, still have it.
• 1:25:18
  Oh yeah, I think every blanket I have my grandma made and I've
• 1:25:21
  got a shit ton of them or she got me.
• 1:25:23
  I like I could literally just build a pallet, a big comfy king
• 1:25:28
  size bed pallet of blankets if I wanted to.
• 1:25:32
  So and you can't get rid of. Them you're like a polygamist,
• 1:25:35
  bro. Like you can't.
• 1:25:36
  You can't. Well, like, like, like you
• 1:25:38
  can't. Well, but they're all for my
• 1:25:39
  grandma, and that's her whole thing.
• 1:25:41
  It's like, well, it's Christmas. Chill the fuck out like.
• 1:25:43
  No, give them a hand them over. That's sweet.
• 1:25:47
  Well, to me it's like she made me one.
• 1:25:50
  There was when I was in California last time, there was
• 1:25:52
  a Kelly green, Eagles green one that she knitted in like the 70s
• 1:25:58
  or something that she still had that she was like, yeah, if you
• 1:26:02
  want to take it. I was like, fuck, yeah.
• 1:26:03
  So I still have it. Like it's on my couch.
• 1:26:06
  I use it all the time. It's great, but it's big Fuck
• 1:26:09
  off. Kelly green knitted.
• 1:26:12
  And she's like, oh, I guess that is Kelly Eagles green.
• 1:26:14
  I was like, hell yeah. We're about to get into Kelsey
• 1:26:18
  Eagles Green here in a second. Do you need a break?
• 1:26:22
  Yeah, that was, that was kind of like a longer therapy question.
• 1:26:26
  We're we're almost 2 hours in, we're an hour 40 with the
• 1:26:31
  runtime, you were 10 minutes late, so we're about an hour
• 1:26:34
  and. 1/2 yeah, whatever, but with the audio there is no
• 1:26:38
  break. We'll be right the fuck back.
• 1:26:42
  All right y'all, Now we are back for the articles.
• 1:26:45
  Joseph, start us off. First article.
• 1:26:51
  Oh no, one second. You know it always does this.
• 1:26:55
  I don't know why. Boom.
• 1:27:01
  AP News Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
• 1:27:05
  Travis Kelsey's love story from friendship bracelets to
• 1:27:08
  engagement rings, 'cause they got engaged today.
• 1:27:10
  Do you give a shit? I do partially A cause Miss
• 1:27:23
  Avalon was talking to me about it.
• 1:27:27
  We'll just call her that. And also our homie, you know,
• 1:27:34
  his brother is a Hall of Famer. Eagle.
• 1:27:40
  I just think it is. I don't know, like I have a song
• 1:27:45
  that that says like, I have no desire to date Taylor Swift.
• 1:27:48
  I just know one day it's just going to be my turn.
• 1:27:51
  So like, I hope they don't get divorced and I don't have to do
• 1:27:56
  that. But like, I, I don't know.
• 1:27:59
  What do you think? I used to like make jokes like
• 1:28:01
  if like Adele and like Taylor Swift, like like ever like got
• 1:28:06
  into a relationship together and then broke up, like the fucking
• 1:28:09
  hits that would come out of that, you know, like, like I
• 1:28:14
  feel like people forget that like Taylor Swift used to just
• 1:28:17
  be like a homie hopper. She's always been a homie
• 1:28:21
  hopper. I know but like but then she
• 1:28:23
  became like icon billionaire like she.
• 1:28:27
  Became like the she's toxic as fuck.
• 1:28:30
  She is the future. She is like what future is for
• 1:28:34
  guys. That's what Taylor Swift is for
• 1:28:36
  girls. Maybe she's the problem.
• 1:28:39
  She has a song that says I'm the problem.
• 1:28:41
  I know, but like I but I literally made a joke about like
• 1:28:46
  hey, maybe you're the fucking problem and then she came out
• 1:28:48
  with a fucking song called that. But then also boy Morgan Wallin
• 1:28:52
  came out with I'm the problem and like your boy just covered
• 1:28:55
  it, might be releasing it so. Yeah, I mean, I like good for
• 1:29:02
  them. I don't give a shit.
• 1:29:04
  They're. Like 35, they announced in the
• 1:29:06
  news in a joint Instagram post on Tuesday.
• 1:29:09
  It's the last chapter of the couple's love story, one that
• 1:29:11
  spanned 2 years. 2 That's what it says.
• 1:29:15
  Or latest, Sorry, latest chapter.
• 1:29:17
  I was like last chapter. Yeah.
• 1:29:18
  I was like was never used whenever you swooping 2 Super
• 1:29:21
  Bowls an an album announcement in the highest grossing tour of
• 1:29:26
  all time. I mean, I guess there was
• 1:29:27
  something about friendship bracelets.
• 1:29:29
  He gave her a friendship bracelet.
• 1:29:31
  If you met her, he if he couldn't meet Swift and
• 1:29:34
  presented her with a bracelet with his phone number.
• 1:29:37
  She doesn't meet anybody or at least she didn't want to meet
• 1:29:39
  me. So I took it personally quipped
• 1:29:41
  on the podcast on Instagram. Anyone know how to get a whole
• 1:29:44
  get a bracelet to at Taylor Swift asking for a friend.
• 1:29:48
  So he was shooting a shot and she was like, hey, hey, hey, So
• 1:29:51
  I mean. This is what I say about like,
• 1:29:56
  what is it 50 Shades of Grey? What what's the book?
• 1:30:00
  Is it the? 50 Shades of grey.
• 1:30:03
  Is that a book, right? Yeah, that's what it's called.
• 1:30:05
  Yeah. Like it's like, if that dude's
• 1:30:08
  like not a billionaire, that's like a like a law and order SVU
• 1:30:13
  episode, you know, it's, it's like you giving your number out
• 1:30:18
  to Taylor Swift on a fucking friendship bracelet doesn't work
• 1:30:22
  unless you're the best tight end in the fucking league.
• 1:30:25
  You know, it's like it's like, it's like things that seem like
• 1:30:30
  really sweet and nice are only sweet and nice if it's like
• 1:30:33
  coming from like someone that you would want to like actually
• 1:30:39
  hang out with. Otherwise it's creepy.
• 1:30:42
  Like that's that's creepy if he's like just like a random
• 1:30:45
  dude, but it but it's romantic that.
• 1:30:50
  Yeah, but we've been so bombarded with this shit that
• 1:30:54
  it's just like, obnoxious. I don't feel that bombarded by
• 1:30:57
  it. We whooped their ass in the
• 1:31:00
  fucking Super Bowl. In the Super Bowl this time, but
• 1:31:02
  I'm just saying at one point it was like T Swift, ice spice.
• 1:31:07
  It was just like the most random shit that was.
• 1:31:10
  Fine with it. It was.
• 1:31:10
  Annoying. It was annoying.
• 1:31:12
  I mean, you know, like I do like to get us like try to get us
• 1:31:16
  like cancelled, or at least like that's great, attempted to get
• 1:31:20
  cancelled. Like, you know, like hate on the
• 1:31:22
  Swifties, talk shit about K pop. We never come out to Bay hive.
• 1:31:27
  Never, never, not once. But will not.
• 1:31:31
  I won't. I probably would.
• 1:31:34
  Joseph would Joseph likes to talk shit about strong black
• 1:31:36
  women like Oprah. Oh, wow, wow.
• 1:31:39
  That's because Oprah's a monster.
• 1:31:41
  Somebody agreed with me. I was talking about this, and
• 1:31:43
  they were like, no, they were like, absolutely.
• 1:31:45
  It doesn't. There's no way she hasn't done
• 1:31:47
  some horrible. I know, but I just, I would feel
• 1:31:49
  like that you would have more hesitation than than.
• 1:31:53
  Oprah, she's got her best friends flying.
• 1:31:56
  Gayle King's flying up in a fucking penis ship with Katy
• 1:31:59
  Perry. She's If there's a deep state,
• 1:32:01
  Oprah is the deep state. No shit.
• 1:32:06
  But that's fine. That's that should be like my
• 1:32:08
  that's called progress. Latest progress.
• 1:32:10
  Latest edition to Book Club of the Month Mein Kampf.
• 1:32:15
  Oh Jesus, 6 slaps. They're like, oh, it's like,
• 1:32:17
  whoa, bro, Oprah's gone wild. Yeah, 200 years ago.
• 1:32:20
  She's like, like, you know, running behind Harriet Tubman,
• 1:32:25
  like trying to get the fuck out of like Alabama did.
• 1:32:28
  So the fact. Color The Color Purple too.
• 1:32:30
  Yeah, my point is like is like that, that the fact that Oprah
• 1:32:36
  is the deep state. I love how you can't get over
• 1:32:39
  that. I'm that I'm just not trusting
• 1:32:41
  of Oprah. Like well, well.
• 1:32:43
  Well, it triggered me when you said that you would talk shit
• 1:32:45
  about the Bay Hav because I just would never would do that.
• 1:32:47
  But I feel very talk Cassidy up to talk shit about Swifties but
• 1:32:53
  I also feel like that it would just get the numbers up.
• 1:32:56
  No do Taylor Swift's lame as fuck.
• 1:32:59
  I don't think she's lame as fuck.
• 1:33:00
  OK, OK. I was saying that like, put me
• 1:33:03
  in a writer's room, like for music with Ed Sheeran, Jay-Z,
• 1:33:09
  Nas, I'll come out the winner every time.
• 1:33:12
  And then somebody said, what about Taylor Swift?
• 1:33:15
  And I said, I actually feel like that she deserves to be in that
• 1:33:18
  room. Like I'll still win, but she
• 1:33:21
  just, she just deserves like she's a good songwriter.
• 1:33:23
  Like so this one time I like manipulated this guy and then I
• 1:33:27
  Oh my God, and I and I do you think I have a song of it?
• 1:33:31
  What do you mean, dude? There's like, there's like a
• 1:33:33
  timeline where it shows. Like like.
• 1:33:35
  Relationship relationship. Well, John Mayer is a scumbag,
• 1:33:38
  so if anything John Mayer would set her up to become.
• 1:33:42
  A Slack What about what about our boy kind of toxicity?
• 1:33:45
  What about our boy over, you know?
• 1:33:48
  All the other dudes, she the. Roadhouse, Roadhouse.
• 1:33:51
  She she made it to where? Who I I I I.
• 1:33:55
  I can't stop loving you, you know.
• 1:33:57
  Who am I talking? About she's she's the problem.
• 1:33:59
  Gyllenhaal. Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal.
• 1:34:03
  Yeah, yeah. You're telling me that like
• 1:34:05
  she's. Easy.
• 1:34:06
  She played both Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer, like probably
• 1:34:10
  those dudes. Those dudes are like fuck boy
• 1:34:13
  central. They got played by Taylor Swift
• 1:34:16
  or she just is just too vulnerable.
• 1:34:19
  Then then she purposely gets in toxic relationships to write
• 1:34:22
  songs about them. No, I think that she is the
• 1:34:27
  problem at some point, at some point, at some point, you would
• 1:34:32
  think that, but the fact that it's worked out here, but also
• 1:34:36
  it's worked out because like Travis Kelsey is going to Super
• 1:34:41
  Bowls, you know, and like is like legit and like, you know,
• 1:34:48
  and he is like an actual athlete.
• 1:34:50
  He's not like an actor or like a or like a songwriter.
• 1:34:54
  You know, it's like, I feel like, like he she met her match.
• 1:34:59
  Like he is the Taylor Swift of tight ends, right?
• 1:35:06
  I would disagree, but. I mean, you don't think?
• 1:35:09
  There's I don't think. That Tony Gonzalez and like
• 1:35:11
  Antonio Gates and and and and him, it's like that's the three.
• 1:35:16
  No, you'd have to have Rob Gronkowski in that.
• 1:35:18
  Conversation. Gronkowski is way more dominant.
• 1:35:22
  OK, how about this? How about this top five?
• 1:35:25
  Yeah, he's top five. Probably, and Taylor Swift's
• 1:35:28
  probably top five. Shannon Sharp.
• 1:35:30
  I take Shannon Sharp over. And.
• 1:35:33
  That's fine. But my point is that he is elite
• 1:35:39
  like she is. I'm not saying she's the best.
• 1:35:42
  I got it. Look, you are pro Kelsey Swifty.
• 1:35:47
  Well, I'm I'm I'm pro his brother and so so I just got to
• 1:35:52
  buy with the. Family.
• 1:35:53
  No, I'm in good form. It's easy to hate on him.
• 1:35:55
  It's just for me. And I've gone out of my way to
• 1:35:58
  shit on Swifty's but like again, for the clicks I think she like
• 1:36:04
  I respect her. No, I mean, I guess I respect.
• 1:36:08
  I feel like she got she got so like, you know, like we're
• 1:36:12
  talking about like fuck boy phases.
• 1:36:14
  She was like, I wouldn't say fuck girl phase.
• 1:36:17
  I think she was like in her like exploring date they.
• 1:36:20
  Call it. They call it their hoe phase.
• 1:36:22
  I don't think that's what it was though.
• 1:36:24
  I think it's like a different version of the same.
• 1:36:27
  Hoe era. No, I don't think she was being
• 1:36:29
  a hoe though. Like, I think she was being
• 1:36:31
  like. A serial monogamist.
• 1:36:34
  Yeah. So she had to be with somebody.
• 1:36:38
  Right. Yeah, there that that's that's
• 1:36:41
  what she. So it's like if she's always
• 1:36:43
  with somebody and a relationship doesn't work out, how much work
• 1:36:47
  are you actually doing on yourself before you jump into
• 1:36:49
  another one? No, for sure, and it feels like
• 1:36:54
  this time it's worked out. The Instagram post is a little
• 1:37:01
  odd. They just have marketing teams
• 1:37:04
  that they're surrounded by, people that are coming up with
• 1:37:07
  ways to market them. And for Travis, as his career is
• 1:37:10
  winding down because he is losing the ability, he's not
• 1:37:14
  what he once was. He's so great, but that's not
• 1:37:16
  his fault. He's a 30.
• 1:37:17
  Five year old he's transitioning to. 35 year old tied in so he
• 1:37:20
  this is going to podcast the transition that they that she is
• 1:37:24
  going to help facilitate him and his transition out of football
• 1:37:28
  and into something else like he's going to be doing him and
• 1:37:31
  his brother will both be calling games.
• 1:37:33
  And it's not that Travis Kelsey is nearly as care.
• 1:37:36
  He's not as charismatic. He's not as good as a public
• 1:37:39
  speaker. He's not.
• 1:37:41
  He is not. He did have his own reality show
• 1:37:44
  and that's actually like was my first like real introduction was
• 1:37:48
  his like VH1 reality show where it was like where he was dating
• 1:37:51
  women and I thought he was like a complete fucking asshole.
• 1:37:56
  And then like as like the years have gone by, I'm like, it
• 1:38:01
  doesn't seem like that bad of a guy actually.
• 1:38:03
  No, he's just like a dude bro. He's like.
• 1:38:06
  No, he's fine. Like like, but no on that.
• 1:38:09
  If you ever go back and watch that fucking reality show,
• 1:38:11
  you're like, you're like, dude, what are you doing?
• 1:38:15
  Like, you know, it's like you're acting like Jacks like on
• 1:38:17
  Vanderpump Rules, like and you're like a fucking like Hall
• 1:38:21
  of Famer. Like what?
• 1:38:22
  Like what are we? What are we doing here?
• 1:38:24
  Yeah. But it worked out.
• 1:38:28
  You know what? You want to throw some money on
• 1:38:31
  this? On what?
• 1:38:36
  I think they'll be OK. This is contingent on them
• 1:38:43
  actually getting married, but once they get married I think
• 1:38:46
  they'll be married for at least five years.
• 1:38:50
  I think longer but like over under 5.
• 1:38:56
  I mean I would take over 5. For sure, yeah, yeah.
• 1:38:59
  Like I like, I feel like this is it.
• 1:39:01
  Like I feel like it worked out and and until the CTE kicks in.
• 1:39:07
  Taylor. Until, yeah, until he starts
• 1:39:10
  acting wild, like he's going to fuck it up.
• 1:39:11
  She's not going to fuck it up. CTE got me not knowing what to
• 1:39:15
  do. I will shot her with a 22.
• 1:39:19
  You're like, whoa, Travis. We've already we were seeing
• 1:39:21
  like his his brother wild out like, you know, just like on
• 1:39:24
  like national TV, like, you know what I'm saying, like like.
• 1:39:28
  Yeah, but he's awesome. And then no.
• 1:39:30
  Yeah, I know. He's awesome.
• 1:39:31
  And everybody tries to copy him. So it's not like, authentic, you
• 1:39:34
  know? But Travis Kelce is definitely
• 1:39:36
  like the douchier of the two brothers in my opinion.
• 1:39:43
  Yeah, I mean depends on your definition of.
• 1:39:47
  Dude, he'd be he'd be the dude that you'd want to go out and
• 1:39:50
  like try to talk to girls with go out to the.
• 1:39:52
  Bar disagree, disagree. Hard disagree.
• 1:39:55
  You don't think between him or Jason?
• 1:39:58
  Jason, Jason. I'd much rather be hanging.
• 1:40:01
  Yeah, I guess he's got the dad. Yeah, well, that's like, if
• 1:40:03
  you're just hanging out with, I'd rather hang out with Jason,
• 1:40:06
  I'd go party with Travis. And go with girls like like like
• 1:40:10
  he's having a good, good ass time.
• 1:40:13
  My point is like, he's a little wild.
• 1:40:17
  And I'm just not sure if he's wild because that's just who he
• 1:40:23
  is or because he was snapping balls for the Eagles for 10
• 1:40:28
  years straight. Don't go into fucking nose
• 1:40:31
  tackles, you know? True.
• 1:40:38
  Next article US restaurant chain cracker barrel scraps new logo
• 1:40:44
  after backlash this is the weirdest shit the people were
• 1:40:49
  that upset the like the old man who probably is racist just what
• 1:40:55
  just I look at the depiction I'm looking at the logo right now
• 1:40:57
  and that guy is leaning in that chair on that barrel like he
• 1:41:01
  woke up inside the end of your boys put out your.
• 1:41:03
  Boys put out cover art of like, you know, like on his songs like
• 1:41:08
  and like these people don't even exist half the time and
• 1:41:12
  sometimes they're like. That's a dude.
• 1:41:13
  That dude exists that. No, I'm just saying like, like
• 1:41:16
  it's not a real person. Once was, and he was probably
• 1:41:20
  racist. You think so?
• 1:41:22
  I can say it was it was pre pre AI you.
• 1:41:25
  Go you go back far enough in time.
• 1:41:28
  Like more likely than not, like your family was probably racist.
• 1:41:32
  Well, you know, it's actually weird is like there's like it's
• 1:41:36
  like a parabola if that's the right word.
• 1:41:41
  Like where race didn't even exist until like 1760 where this
• 1:41:50
  dude like wrote a book about it. Like like the concept of race
• 1:41:56
  was not even a thing even though shout out Slovakia, listener of
• 1:42:02
  the pod Slovakia. Slav is the original word for
• 1:42:08
  slave and Russians used to enslave people from the Czech
• 1:42:14
  Republic and that's why they're called Slovakians, the original
• 1:42:19
  slavers, slave owners. Fun facts for the pod Dark
• 1:42:23
  Alert. US restaurant chain Cracker
• 1:42:29
  Barrel has abandoned its plans to adopt A new logo fog
• 1:42:32
  following fierce backlash. We thank our guests for sharing
• 1:42:35
  your voices and love over Cracker Barrel.
• 1:42:37
  We said we would listen. We have our new logo is going
• 1:42:40
  away and our old timer will remain, the company said on a
• 1:42:44
  social media post. Cracker Barrel received
• 1:42:46
  criticism after it unveiled a modern version of its logo,
• 1:42:49
  which scrapped the Old Timer in quotes figure.
• 1:42:54
  President Donald Trump was among those slamming the rebrand
• 1:42:57
  applauded the reversal. Congratulations Cracker Barrel
• 1:43:00
  on changing your logo back to what it was.
• 1:43:02
  All of your fans very much appreciate it.
• 1:43:04
  The new version of the logo was unveiled along with the new menu
• 1:43:08
  on the 19th of August. Removed an image of an old man
• 1:43:11
  sitting in a chair and leaning against a barrel known as the
• 1:43:13
  Old Timer and replaced it with an emblem featuring only the
• 1:43:17
  chain's name. That sparked accusations as a
• 1:43:20
  company known as a southern style comfort food with
• 1:43:22
  nostalgic atmosphere was abandoning it's abandoning its
• 1:43:25
  roots. President Trump urged the brand
• 1:43:27
  to return to his old logo and then admit a mistake based on
• 1:43:31
  customer response. The full poll and manage the
• 1:43:34
  company better than ever before. He said the chain had got a
• 1:43:38
  billion dollars worth of free publicity if they play their
• 1:43:41
  cards right, adding make Cracker Barrel a winner again.
• 1:43:46
  You know what we should do? What A.
• 1:43:47
  Fucking. Tool, you know what we should
• 1:43:49
  do? Start a fucking TikTok campaign.
• 1:43:54
  Why? Why are you calling a Cracker
• 1:43:55
  barrel? You're calling me a cracker.
• 1:43:58
  It's like using the N word for white people, no?
• 1:44:02
  I couldn't. I guarantee you if Trump said
• 1:44:06
  like using the word cracker to talk about your company, all of
• 1:44:14
  these people who are upset about them changing the logo would be
• 1:44:18
  like, yeah, why are you calling us a cracker?
• 1:44:26
  I'm on my Ritz white boy crack. David Johnson, CEO, branding
• 1:44:32
  agency Strategic Vision PR Group, said even.
• 1:44:35
  My Cracker Barrel. Oh, I'm back the fuck up.
• 1:44:37
  Do you even like it? Not really.
• 1:44:39
  It's kind of weak. I've been there.
• 1:44:40
  I. Feel.
• 1:44:41
  Like it's it's pretty lame. Like I could DoorDash it and
• 1:44:44
  like I looked at it a couple times and I'm like, I'm like
• 1:44:49
  like because to me. It's like Waffle House for life
• 1:44:52
  bro. OK, well, we don't have those
• 1:44:53
  out here, so. Come on, why don't you don't?
• 1:44:56
  No bro it. Would crush out there.
• 1:44:59
  No shit. I don't get it.
• 1:45:00
  It's like how in and out that is like barely like outside of
• 1:45:04
  California, it's like it's creeping out, but it's like
• 1:45:06
  there's. A bunch in DFW now.
• 1:45:08
  No, I know. But like there used to not be
• 1:45:10
  like, Oh yeah, used to be like one in like Las Vegas, one in
• 1:45:14
  like Arizona and the rest were in California.
• 1:45:17
  It was like on. Yeah, why does shit always end
• 1:45:19
  up in like Scottsdale? I'm like why are?
• 1:45:22
  We well, that's where that's, you know, where Scottsdale is.
• 1:45:27
  That's Cougarville bro. True, True.
• 1:45:31
  True. That's like literally that's
• 1:45:33
  where divorced 4 year old women go to fuck for the audience.
• 1:45:42
  What they did wrong is they went against their brand, their brand
• 1:45:45
  story, which was the old logo that reflected the southern
• 1:45:49
  whimsical atmosphere in the stores.
• 1:45:52
  The other shares, those died 7% after the announcement.
• 1:45:59
  You know what that reminds me of is like when they did New Coke?
• 1:46:01
  Do you remember that? We were super young.
• 1:46:05
  They did like, a yeah, like, so Coca-Cola changed up the flavor
• 1:46:09
  and it just like, bombed. Like probably cost them billions
• 1:46:12
  and billions of dollars. Like, just like whoever the fuck
• 1:46:15
  made that decision probably like got off to like Jeff, Jeff
• 1:46:19
  Epstein, like, you know, just like, here's the.
• 1:46:21
  No, they just got, they just got sent to the island and he's
• 1:46:24
  like, why are you sending me then?
• 1:46:25
  Like, oh, you'll find out. Yeah, you're dumb, bro.
• 1:46:27
  Yeah, Guantanamo like, but Eptonamo.
• 1:46:33
  Yeah, I got a rhyme where it's like I prefer New Coke over
• 1:46:38
  classic they just because it's controversial, because nobody
• 1:46:42
  thinks that. Like nobody liked it.
• 1:46:44
  Yeah. But I was talking about cocaine.
• 1:46:48
  The announcement there's, the company said at Cracker Barrel,
• 1:46:50
  it's always been and always will be about serving up delicious,
• 1:46:53
  warm, delicious food, warm welcomes and a kind country and
• 1:46:58
  the kind of country hospitality that feels like family.
• 1:47:01
  As a proud American institution, our 70,000 hard working
• 1:47:04
  employees look forward to welcoming to meet you to the
• 1:47:07
  table soon. It's founded in Lebanon, TN.
• 1:47:10
  There are no more than 600 across the US.
• 1:47:13
  They have a front porch with rocking chairs and a gift shop.
• 1:47:17
  Overhyped gift shop. Gift shop sucks.
• 1:47:20
  Hard to disagree. Like I, I, I'm telling you
• 1:47:23
  there's one right here in my. Cock Cassidy, dude, it's get
• 1:47:26
  you. You see that Cracker Barrel in?
• 1:47:28
  Your, I was, no, I was just surprised by the gift shop also,
• 1:47:32
  though I did buy a bunch of I forget what they are like what
• 1:47:40
  it was, it was some sort of like sweet treat that like doesn't
• 1:47:45
  like it's like not available like other places.
• 1:47:48
  So I bought like 3 different like flavors of it and it was
• 1:47:52
  like $40. I was like, what the fuck?
• 1:47:54
  Like I just thought I was like buying like, you know, like some
• 1:47:57
  like $3 cupcakes type shit. But like the little trinkets
• 1:48:02
  like mushrooms and stuff. I was like surprised by it was
• 1:48:05
  like a little bit trippy. Be trippy, man.
• 1:48:11
  Well then my point is like, it wasn't like all like hardcore.
• 1:48:14
  It wasn't like fucking confederate flag type shit.
• 1:48:17
  So they're, well, obviously. Well, I don't know.
• 1:48:20
  About they sell that in the back.
• 1:48:21
  They sell that in the back. Yeah, come on, man.
• 1:48:26
  Over with the roofies. So I was watch this guy and he
• 1:48:33
  was talking about all of these rebrandings.
• 1:48:35
  Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Burger King, how Starbucks, and now
• 1:48:42
  Cracker Barrel, how they're changing the concept, Waffle
• 1:48:45
  House, changing the concepts, the designs of what their
• 1:48:49
  property looks like. Because like, the largest
• 1:48:51
  commercial real estate owner in the entire US is McDonald's.
• 1:48:57
  So they own all of the buildings that they put a McDonald's in.
• 1:49:00
  If you open up a franchise, you pay them rent to McDonald's and
• 1:49:05
  then you operate the business. And the locations are strategic.
• 1:49:09
  So it's like right off the freeway, you know, it's like,
• 1:49:13
  it's like it's so it's like actual good real estate.
• 1:49:15
  Yeah, you're exactly right. I learned about this in Business
• 1:49:18
  School. So what they what they're what's
• 1:49:20
  happening right now with a lot of these brands, Cracker Barrel
• 1:49:25
  is the porches, the lighting, the logo, the design, the specs
• 1:49:30
  that make a Cracker Barrel or Cracker Barrel or a McDonald's
• 1:49:35
  with a play place with the crazy roof that we used to always have
• 1:49:39
  when we were kids. Those are so specific and niche
• 1:49:41
  that if you want to sell that building at that place fails.
• 1:49:44
  It's harder to get rid of the building because it's so, so
• 1:49:47
  specific. Like how many times have you
• 1:49:50
  seen an old Pizza Hut that had dine in that's closed, that's
• 1:49:53
  still sitting there because it's got that weird Pizza Hut roof
• 1:49:56
  with the red? Tie, I see what you're saying.
• 1:49:59
  And so be so. A lot of these companies are now
• 1:50:01
  taking a switch to a more like neutral, beige, Gray, very, very
• 1:50:07
  bland building and doing away with.
• 1:50:10
  A lot of get the fuck out of there if it doesn't.
• 1:50:12
  If they want to get this, if they want to get the fuck out of
• 1:50:14
  there, it's easy to sell. He used an example of he's like,
• 1:50:17
  there's if you put a, if there's an old, if there's an old Pizza
• 1:50:21
  Hut, an old design Pizza Hut and you sell it and you put a Vape
• 1:50:25
  store in it, people are going to be like the Vape store.
• 1:50:27
  It's going to be, yeah, the Vape store that's in that old Pizza
• 1:50:29
  Hut. But that's actually actually, I
• 1:50:33
  mean, your boys in sales and marketing, you could like, spend
• 1:50:37
  that like, pretty like, tightly like, like that's like an old
• 1:50:42
  T-shirt like that you had in high school that like, you like,
• 1:50:45
  got over. But then like now you're 35 and
• 1:50:48
  it's cool again. You know, it's like that.
• 1:50:51
  You're wearing it like, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:50:54
  It's like, bro, the dispensary. Is it the old Blockbuster?
• 1:51:00
  Like that's. Yeah.
• 1:51:00
  But block. But Blockbuster was pretty
• 1:51:02
  neutral. But you.
• 1:51:04
  Know what I'm saying? OK.
• 1:51:05
  Like like I was just thinking of businesses that have gone out
• 1:51:09
  like. Like like like if it's an old
• 1:51:11
  Rosa's Cafe, Rosa's Cafe is in. Texas, or like an old school
• 1:51:15
  Taco Bell. Yeah, like those are really
• 1:51:17
  hard. To but it but it's a dispensary.
• 1:51:20
  Yeah, I know. So it's going to be a business
• 1:51:22
  like that that's going to want the property.
• 1:51:24
  But if you want somebody to come in and buy it and sell it for
• 1:51:27
  top dollar, the more neutral it is, the the less you have, the
• 1:51:31
  more it the property. 'S right, right, right, right
• 1:51:33
  but. So they're looking to increase.
• 1:51:35
  Their profits on the back end total totally get it.
• 1:51:38
  I I get why they would be doing it like trying to make it like
• 1:51:42
  neutral in case I have to get the fuck out case shit hits the
• 1:51:45
  fan which it seems like it probably will in like 3 years
• 1:51:48
  whenever your boy like decides not to leave.
• 1:51:52
  You know Velveeta, Voldemort, I get that.
• 1:51:57
  But my point is if they had a guy like me, I saw the shit out
• 1:52:03
  of that. I I'd make it like a fucking
• 1:52:06
  value add. I'd I'd make them pay more than
• 1:52:09
  it looked like a fucking McDonald's.
• 1:52:11
  Then you should get your real estate license.
• 1:52:14
  So we'll see. I mean, I don't get the big fuss
• 1:52:18
  over the logo and the goofy old white guy, but.
• 1:52:22
  I mean, I I do because people are stupid.
• 1:52:26
  Well, I know I get that part. I just don't know how they get
• 1:52:29
  to that. There's the the stupidity.
• 1:52:31
  I don't. I can't make that.
• 1:52:32
  Leap Well, well, what I was going to say was like, just look
• 1:52:35
  at our boys over at HBOHBO Max, HBO Now, HBO, Oh yeah, just Max,
• 1:52:41
  they, they changed it seven times in like 3 years.
• 1:52:44
  Like that's the that is the epitome of what we're talking
• 1:52:48
  about. And they could get away with it
• 1:52:50
  because they're HBO. No, they could.
• 1:52:52
  I mean, they barely got away with it except for the boy David
• 1:52:55
  Zasloff. Like the CEO just gets paid $51
• 1:52:58
  million a fucking year. Like shit.
• 1:53:01
  The stocks like in the fucking like gutter.
• 1:53:04
  It's like you have like the most like iconic, like like respected
• 1:53:07
  brand in media, HBO. Everybody thinks like anything
• 1:53:11
  that comes out on HBO is going to probably be good, right?
• 1:53:15
  And then he's like, now it's just called Max.
• 1:53:19
  I was like, what are you a fucking moron?
• 1:53:21
  Like, but that that's kind of like what you're saying is like
• 1:53:24
  it's like, it's like they just like are trying to be generic.
• 1:53:29
  They're trying to be like risk adverse when it's like.
• 1:53:32
  When it comes to certain things, but it's.
• 1:53:34
  So hard to build that brand equity like, you know, like
• 1:53:40
  you'll like, it would take decades for some company, like
• 1:53:44
  for Netflix. Do you even get respect like HBO
• 1:53:47
  has? You know, yeah.
• 1:53:48
  And you just piss it away by like, 'cause you want to just
• 1:53:50
  like, change the shit up. Yeah, article #3 AI dead bots
• 1:53:55
  are persuasive and researchers say Researchers say they're
• 1:53:59
  primed for monetization. AI avatars of deceased people,
• 1:54:04
  or dead bots are showing up in new and unexpected contexts,
• 1:54:07
  including where they have the power to persuade.
• 1:54:10
  They're giving interviews advocating for tougher gun laws,
• 1:54:13
  such as when the family of Joaquin Oliver, victim of a 2018
• 1:54:17
  Parkland shooter, created a beanie wearing AI avatar of him
• 1:54:21
  to speak with journalist Jim Acosta in July.
• 1:54:24
  This is just another advocacy, advocacy tool to create the
• 1:54:27
  urgency that makes people urgency of making the things
• 1:54:31
  change. Weird anime.
• 1:54:34
  A bearded AI avatar of Chris Pelkey, A deceased victim of a
• 1:54:39
  road rage incident in Arizona, gave an impact statement at a
• 1:54:43
  sentencing of a man who fatally shot him.
• 1:54:46
  Stanley created the dead bot. I feel that it was genuine, said
• 1:54:49
  the judge after hearing the AI generated impact statement and
• 1:54:52
  then handed down the maximum sentence.
• 1:54:55
  Well, so did the judge. Didn't know that it was AI.
• 1:54:58
  No, he did. He just said like, I feel like
• 1:55:00
  that. I feel like I feel that that was
• 1:55:04
  genuine. I hate when people say that,
• 1:55:06
  that yeah. So he heard the statement and it
• 1:55:10
  was just read by an AI. When people say that that like
• 1:55:14
  the the word that the word that twice in a row, yeah, I hate, I
• 1:55:19
  hate when I when I get that in an e-mail and I have to like
• 1:55:22
  figure it. Out.
• 1:55:22
  Hey, this is Judge Todd Lang. We got another ang in here.
• 1:55:27
  Dude. We had Yang Lang and Lang Mark's
• 1:55:29
  on his hang. Hey, got him looking like Ang.
• 1:55:31
  That's a take K-47 line free take K.
• 1:55:35
  If if Oprah was born 200 years ago, she'd be Hang.
• 1:55:41
  So yeah, so he this road rage guy killed Pelkey, killed Pelkey
• 1:55:45
  and his family, wrote a statement and then created AAI
• 1:55:48
  generated version of the shooting victim to.
• 1:55:50
  I cannot believe, cannot believe that the defense, the defense
• 1:55:56
  like let that be entered into court.
• 1:55:59
  It's an impact statement, so you can't really do shit at that
• 1:56:01
  point. He's already been.
• 1:56:02
  Yeah, you can. I guess you could.
• 1:56:05
  It's AI though. Objection.
• 1:56:07
  No, no, no. It has to be like given to the
• 1:56:10
  defense ahead of time. Like this is the evidence that
• 1:56:13
  we're going to provide and then has to be agreed upon by the
• 1:56:17
  judge. So like this is OK unless they
• 1:56:20
  just like Willy nilly just like fucking played it.
• 1:56:23
  And so like, oh, that'd be weak. It's not even going to be that
• 1:56:26
  believable. And then they play it and he's
• 1:56:27
  like, shit, that was really good.
• 1:56:29
  Fuck, I'm done. I'm screwed.
• 1:56:30
  Yeah, well, they're not shitty lawyers.
• 1:56:33
  The digital afterlife industry. That is going on back the fuck
• 1:56:36
  up. OK, so So what you're saying is
• 1:56:43
  these people are dead because like we've talked about on the
• 1:56:46
  podcast about like uploading your memory, you know, so like
• 1:56:51
  so this is just like AI generated of what this person
• 1:56:56
  might have said, but then it looks like.
• 1:56:59
  Or you'd be. But you could.
• 1:57:00
  Well, no. You could make it say whatever
• 1:57:02
  you wanted. So you so like the mom could
• 1:57:04
  just type out like a statement and then just and then make it
• 1:57:09
  look like like her dead son was saying it.
• 1:57:14
  And that's immiscible in court. That's what we're doing.
• 1:57:17
  Judge said that that, that, that, that, that, that looks
• 1:57:21
  genuine. Dude, that that, that, that,
• 1:57:24
  that that seems not fair and. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.
• 1:57:30
  Obviously not OK And like that's a that's a slippery ass slope,
• 1:57:35
  if that's even like continuing past like this.
• 1:57:38
  The. Also, by the way, by the way,
• 1:57:41
  Joseph and I had a special interview with a guy, a bail
• 1:57:45
  bondsman, the the spokesperson of bail bondsman in Texas about
• 1:57:51
  cashless bail. Yeah, I just saw a headline
• 1:57:54
  earlier today that Trump passed a bill that ending cashless
• 1:57:57
  bail. Quick update.
• 1:58:04
  The afterlife industry, which manages a person's digital
• 1:58:06
  assets after death, is expected to quadruple in size to nearly
• 1:58:10
  $80 billion over the next decade.
• 1:58:13
  That includes the creation of dead bots.
• 1:58:15
  The more immersive these bots become, the more technology
• 1:58:19
  companies are exploring their commercial potential, causing
• 1:58:22
  concern in the research community and elsewhere.
• 1:58:24
  This is powerful rhetoric with a dead bot because it's tapping
• 1:58:28
  into all that emotion, longing and vulnerability it, said New
• 1:58:32
  Yorker cartoonist Amy Cruzenwheel Kurtzville.
• 1:58:38
  Her work? OK, So what if what if it was
• 1:58:41
  like somebody like Mark Twain? Wait, he's just going to say the
• 1:58:45
  N word and be like sorry man, it was my time.
• 1:58:48
  No. Product of the.
• 1:58:51
  Times no what? Like not even.
• 1:58:56
  But like what? Mark Twain was like, like, like,
• 1:58:58
  like, like. More progressive than I know.
• 1:59:01
  I'm just What would Mark Twain say that would be relevant to
• 1:59:05
  now? Oh.
• 1:59:09
  All all sorts of shit. I just but.
• 1:59:10
  Like, no, I know. Well, you could make him say
• 1:59:13
  whatever, but I'm saying is it'd be it depends like the connect.
• 1:59:17
  Like if you just read like, like, just like quotes from Mark
• 1:59:19
  Twain, they like, like easily could be applied to like, like
• 1:59:24
  what's happening right now, like he's like.
• 1:59:26
  People would use him in a way that's not going to be for that
• 1:59:29
  It's. Like, well, no, I get that.
• 1:59:31
  I get that. No, I get that part.
• 1:59:32
  My, my, OK, this is what I'm saying.
• 1:59:35
  Is there a difference between using like historical famous
• 1:59:44
  dead people AI versus your son died in a car accident when he
• 1:59:53
  was 27 and we're using it in a court case.
• 1:59:57
  You know what I'm saying? And, and it's like, it's like,
• 2:00:04
  like like the Tupac, like hologram at fucking like
• 2:00:08
  Coachella, Coachella or. Whatever.
• 2:00:10
  Yeah, yeah, Coachella, you know, like that's what I'm trying to
• 2:00:13
  say. It's like, like, like there's a
• 2:00:17
  balance to this. And like I used to sell like
• 2:00:20
  Zippos wholesale and like I would and like they would buy
• 2:00:23
  like a display for like 190, like 192.
• 2:00:26
  And then they would just like ask me to pick them out.
• 2:00:29
  And it's just like all like Bob Marley, Tupac.
• 2:00:32
  It's like all like all Jimi Hendrix, you know, like it's
• 2:00:36
  like all these like families like cashing in on like their
• 2:00:41
  namesake and it feels like that would like I could see that
• 2:00:45
  happening like with AI and. But it's a Gray area.
• 2:00:51
  So like, that's what I'm saying. Are they going to have to pay
• 2:00:53
  these families, right? Well, if they don't have to.
• 2:00:57
  No, no, they will. No, that's what I'm saying.
• 2:00:59
  I think these families are going to license the shit out, No?
• 2:01:03
  Probably. But using it in court?
• 2:01:07
  Are we kidding? Unless it was like a suicide
• 2:01:11
  note that that person wrote or something you know?
• 2:01:18
  Yeah. That makes sense to me, 'cause
• 2:01:21
  then maybe it's like, OK, it's like maybe like that letter
• 2:01:26
  doesn't describe or like maybe it's like it, it like you get
• 2:01:33
  like the impact of what they were saying more like if you get
• 2:01:37
  like AAI video of them saying it, but as long as it was like
• 2:01:40
  their words. But if it's just like somebody
• 2:01:43
  else writing for them and then making it look like them like
• 2:01:47
  any of like that AI like vocals that I put out like on my music
• 2:01:53
  I wrote like, you know, it's like I like I would never like
• 2:01:56
  have AI like fucking like like put vocals out and write the
• 2:02:02
  shit for me. It's like, it's like, Nah, it's
• 2:02:04
  like I'm either writing it and singing it myself or covering
• 2:02:09
  somebody else's song, or if it's AI doing the vocals, like I'm
• 2:02:14
  writing the lyrics, like I'm not like just like letting like a
• 2:02:18
  robot just like handle this and like, I don't know, it just
• 2:02:21
  feels awful to me. Yeah, this is a quote.
• 2:02:26
  Ethically, I think using dead people is not sound at all, said
• 2:02:29
  Camille Chang, head of content for AI marketing company Next,
• 2:02:33
  which is currently developing AI avatars for professional
• 2:02:36
  basketball teams to use in advertising campaigns.
• 2:02:39
  Only they're working with living athletes, not dead ones.
• 2:02:42
  Why the hell would I want my grandma to say anything that's
• 2:02:45
  not authentic? Alex Quinn, CEO of Authentic
• 2:02:48
  Interactions Incorporated, the parent company of Deadbot
• 2:02:51
  creator Story File. It would really turn me off as a
• 2:02:55
  consumer, and I don't think that leaves us with any high level,
• 2:02:58
  with a high level of reputation. But Quinn said he's absolutely
• 2:03:02
  interested in seeing if there's other ways to make Deadbots ad
• 2:03:05
  friendly. One scenario could involve
• 2:03:07
  inserting ads into people's conversations with dead bots.
• 2:03:12
  Just like how traditional commercial breaks pop up during
• 2:03:14
  TV shows, we can instruct those avatars to actually probe for
• 2:03:18
  intubation. You know, who's your favorite
• 2:03:20
  athlete? What jersey might you be
• 2:03:22
  interested in? So I mean, yeah, I mean, that's
• 2:03:25
  what I'm saying is even he's like, that's terrible.
• 2:03:27
  But I am interested to see how we can make money off of this
• 2:03:30
  and fucking use it. But that I don't like it.
• 2:03:32
  But you know what? I like it, so it's gonna happen.
• 2:03:36
  It's just kind. Of weird, you know, you know
• 2:03:38
  who's gonna be the first like, well, I wouldn't say first, but
• 2:03:43
  for sure, like, I don't know, victim's the right word but.
• 2:03:49
  Elvis. No, Snoop Dogg do.
• 2:03:52
  You think? Snoop Dogg's in once he passes
• 2:03:56
  away, God willing, it's like 100 years from now.
• 2:03:59
  But like, Oh, yeah. But like, there will still be
• 2:04:03
  Snoop Dogg commercials after he dies.
• 2:04:07
  Like Super Pizzle. Yeah.
• 2:04:08
  Like where It's like AI Snoop Dogg.
• 2:04:10
  Like it's not even him like. You want to clean your floor,
• 2:04:13
  you got to get a swiftful swift like.
• 2:04:15
  Yeah, him and Shaq. It's just like, well, that's.
• 2:04:19
  What I'm saying but you can name off like if they start doing
• 2:04:21
  this. I'm talking about like, yeah.
• 2:04:23
  Like, what's their dad when they're when they're not here?
• 2:04:25
  Shaq. Snoop Dogg.
• 2:04:27
  The entire 27 club the. Madonna.
• 2:04:31
  The entire 27th club like. Elvis, they're all yeah.
• 2:04:34
  Yeah, yeah, exactly. Tupac, Biggie, all of them did.
• 2:04:43
  Diddy no AI Diddy last article Trump moves to ban flag burning.
• 2:04:53
  He's burning. He's signing an executive order
• 2:04:55
  to ban flag burning, which is fucking stupid.
• 2:04:58
  I already thought that was a law.
• 2:05:00
  It is. You can't like use a flag to
• 2:05:03
  like start your BBQ, but you can burn a flag in protest.
• 2:05:07
  It's freedom of speech. That's what I thought.
• 2:05:10
  Yeah, I know. Oh, so you're saying that no
• 2:05:13
  longer? That first?
• 2:05:14
  Well, no, I mean what? What if the flag?
• 2:05:16
  What if? What if the flag was made in
• 2:05:18
  China? It's going to get, it's going to
• 2:05:20
  get challenged because it's been a, it's like, I mean, it's not a
• 2:05:24
  super precedent, but it's a precedent that it's been the
• 2:05:27
  1st. What if it's a Confederate flag?
• 2:05:30
  Yeah, that's fine. It better be fucking fine.
• 2:05:33
  You can start your BBQ with that.
• 2:05:35
  I cannot. Wait.
• 2:05:37
  But it's stupid because I think the first case was in 1989, then
• 2:05:42
  there was another court case that upheld it in 90 where it's
• 2:05:46
  been challenged by the Supreme Court.
• 2:05:48
  There's a guy arrested for like, burning one not in protest in
• 2:05:52
  front of the White House the other day.
• 2:05:55
  So the next day, Trump's like, I'm setting an executive order
• 2:05:58
  trying to make it a minimum of one year in jail and get the
• 2:06:02
  Department of Justice to like, prosecute these people.
• 2:06:05
  But it's stupid, like I said, because this is going to get
• 2:06:08
  challenged. It's going to get upheld by the
• 2:06:10
  Supreme Court that you can in protest.
• 2:06:13
  It's just no, don't, do not be so sure about that, bro.
• 2:06:19
  I wish, I wish, I wish we could be sure about that.
• 2:06:23
  I do not trust the Supreme Court right now.
• 2:06:29
  Yeah, I I trust them more than I did, which isn't very much.
• 2:06:39
  I I don't know. I don't know.
• 2:06:41
  I did. If they were as bad as I thought
• 2:06:44
  they were going to be, they wouldn't give push back on
• 2:06:45
  anything. I don't understand why they give
• 2:06:49
  a fuck about anything. They have lifetime appointments
• 2:06:53
  bro. They're the third branch of
• 2:06:55
  government equal branch. Like they could tell Trump to go
• 2:06:58
  fuck himself and like it wouldn't matter.
• 2:07:01
  Like you can't fire him. Like like that's why I just
• 2:07:05
  that's why I don't trust him. It's like it's like y'all are
• 2:07:08
  like bending the fucking knee dude.
• 2:07:10
  It's like I I don't even get it with the Supreme Court.
• 2:07:15
  Dude bro, they overturned Roe V Wade.
• 2:07:21
  Well, yeah, but that was a lifelong goal.
• 2:07:24
  Right. But three of them testified in
• 2:07:28
  front of Congress saying that they wouldn't do it, and then
• 2:07:32
  within a year they did it. No, I know they're full of shit.
• 2:07:35
  That's why I don't trust them. That's all I'm saying.
• 2:07:37
  Well, we'll see, but he's trying to be signed an executive.
• 2:07:40
  Well, also also also Elon, Elon and and you maggot magtards like
• 2:07:46
  over fucking like freedom of speech.
• 2:07:49
  We we can't burn flags anymore. Like you guys made it illegal to
• 2:07:54
  like support Palestine like out of college.
• 2:07:58
  You know, it's like we thought there was like ultimate freedom
• 2:08:02
  of speech. Shout out Gaza, listen to the
• 2:08:06
  pod. Oh, I mean, there's not really
• 2:08:11
  much more to say about. This or the West Bank?
• 2:08:13
  He's just trying to do it. No, I know.
• 2:08:16
  Well, yeah, And that's the thing.
• 2:08:17
  And that's how you know, Trump is weak is because he has to do
• 2:08:20
  executive orders because he can't get shit put through
• 2:08:23
  Congress, because he's not a real fucking powerful dude.
• 2:08:26
  So he has to like, try to act like a king.
• 2:08:29
  It's like executive order. Executive order because he,
• 2:08:32
  because he don't actually like have like money moves, dude.
• 2:08:35
  Like it's like you can't get shit through Congress because
• 2:08:37
  your shit sucks. He's got no motion.
• 2:08:41
  He just did. I don't even get it.
• 2:08:44
  It's like I don't understand his mentality.
• 2:08:48
  Lost in lost in the sauce. Totally.
• 2:08:50
  It's like, I like, is Stephen Miller really like, like
• 2:08:53
  hypnotized his motherfucker or what?
• 2:08:56
  Like, why would he even care? Like, why wouldn't he just,
• 2:08:59
  like, enjoy life being president?
• 2:09:00
  Like chill the fuck out, Yeah. True.
• 2:09:08
  Watch it for articles. Meditate, bitches.
• 2:09:13
  Make sure y'all like, follow, subscribe, share, leave a
• 2:09:16
  comment, whatever. We appreciate y'all listening.
• 2:09:19
  Shout out Gaza listening to the pod.
• 2:09:21
  That's fucking awesome. Good.
• 2:09:22
  Show. And yeah, y'all just be good, be
• 2:09:28
  safe, don't take any Trazodone. Definitely not.
• 2:09:32
  Public service announcement. And as always, go fuck
• 2:09:37
  yourselves. But not me for two weeks.
• 2:09:40
  Yeah, two weeks off. I guess a week now.
• 2:09:44
  Layoff Goody's piece. Or doubt, shout out.