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The Neurophysics of Effective Parenting: Connecting with Children in Crisis · The Brain’s Body Podcast: The Brain Is the Body

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Brain's Body Podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I am Dr Christopher Kevin Slayton, your host and the entrepreneur of human systems science, and I'm talking about the brain's body.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: But I want to keep everything connected because what's the experience?
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: The experience is you.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: The ultimate experience is your brain's body.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: So I talk about the brain and I talk about the body because we're talking about the physics of self.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: So when you, for example, are talking to a child, I say you talk to the child's brain, not the child's body, because children have a tendency to be physical anyway, and you want to talk to the brain, which means you're talking to their neurophysical system, so that they begin to realize there's something inside their body that allows them to control that anger, that frustration, that disappointment, so that, when the sense path is blocked, there are many, many ways for you to try to reach that child's inner sense of feel that's how they make sense of you Through the contact.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: They have to have a feel for you to try to reach that child's inner sense of feel that's how they make sense of you Through the contact.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: They have to have a feel for you.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: And so the brain's body is a technique that I move through talk to work through.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I have many, many children I work with who began the conversation with.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I don't care, and I'm sitting here listening because I know they don't care, because they're blocking the transfer between the physics of themselves and the neurophysics of me, because in order for them to process my dialogue, they've got to allow me into the conversation, where they decode my messaging.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And we're talking about the brain telepathically interacting with his or her brain.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: And now we're having this telepathic energy moving between us and you have to remember what you want the child to do is to feel you.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: So you talk to the child's brain, understanding what I'm saying, even if the child's upset and angry.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: You aim for the brain, not the body, because when you aim for the body, it's going to get raw, because the kid's going to react.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Because you are displaying physicality too, and that's not neural, that's physical.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: So now you have a physical encounter with your child, because your child is not understanding.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: There's something inside of you and that's what you're teaching them that allows me to control my body, even though you're spitting all this negativity at me, all this smoke, but I'm able to move through it and consciously settle myself down to talk to your brain, because we've got to teach children about the brain, that the brain is not just something inside the body.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: The brain is the social organ that they interact through, and so when I talk about the social self, I'm talking about the identity of you.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: On the outside they can see you right, but then you're on the inside.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: That's the neurophysics of you.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: So when you begin to talk to the child's brain, you're talking to your own.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: See, I just did that.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Now you're managing your sense of feel for self through levels of cooperation and trying to get this child to understand and that's what parenting is.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: When you have a child in crisis is how do I teach this child, through the crisis of self, to settle down and accept my contact long enough to experience reflection, forward feed?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: So I'm talking about this because, you see, I just got back from a long trip to North Carolina and you know I'm always doing this research.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: You know human systems.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Science is about the brain, body and senses and it's about how we communicate.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: And so I'm in the airport and I'm watching this parent and child, you know, and the parent is at the counter trying to get the tickets and asking the kid to help because they're trying to get to Chicago and asking the kid to help, because they're trying to get to Chicago and there's all kinds of things happening and there's a problem.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: And the mother's just trying to get the child to call people, let them know they're going to be late and the kid refused, just blatantly said no, I don't want to.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Why do I have to call?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: And I'm sitting there listening and observing.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I'm waiting to see how the parent is going to respond to the kid.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: And it was aggression.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: That's physics, not neurophysics.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Because there's no brain involvement.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: If the brain's involved, use signs of care, caution.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: Because you don't want escalation.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: That's the reflective component of roughly looking at a problem.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: You want to improve the path of reception for that kid, even though that kid's upset.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: If you're talking to the brain, they're getting the information flow and they're understanding what you're saying.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: But you don't just talk about it one day.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: You talk to the brain every single day, because you're learning how to manage you and your sense of feel for self in relation to your child, because your child is absent of what it feels like to feel your intellectual self on a continuous basis, talking to them through the crises, understanding their understanding.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't know you understood me like that, because you're talking to their brain and you're working for yours.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I call that reflective storytelling, because you're experiencing the information flow yourself.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: At the same time, rationally, you can make adjustments in how you make contact, interact through that contract.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: It's the brain's body learning system we're talking through.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: So wait a minute, wait a minute.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: The ultimate experience has to be you.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: When you're working with a kid, the ultimate experience has to be you, because you want that child to return in kind, the experience of control, management, focus, and so you have to learn how to move through the crisis cell and not get irate because this person's saying these things to you that you know are beyond the pale.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I mean they are ridiculous, I mean even delusional.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I mean they are ridiculous, I mean even delusional.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: And you have to stand firm and rashly, because you have to learn why it's happening and in the sense of what Self.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Because if it's you, you've got to know this.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: This is where mental health comes into it, the conversation I'm talking through, mental health, self-awareness.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: My new book is out there, check it out.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: It's taken it to a whole nother level.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: But let's stay focused because the brain is the body and when you talk to the brain, you are neutralizing negative language coming from your physics, because you're aware and you're focused, and the words that you're utilizing I always go back to these grounded words we're talking right.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: So I want you to be grounded and understand that this is reality-based learning.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You're listening to learn how to use these techniques Live, learn, think, respond with me.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I know how it used to be, but look at how it's going to be if you and I began to work together and you give me the time I need to learn how to work with you.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: I understand my past mistakes.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm here talking to you today.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: 14 days is what we need 14 consistent days of effort from you and effort from me to change the way we interact, the way we make contact to live through each other, the way we interact to learn through each other, the way we cooperate to think through each other, the way that we respond, so that we reflect together on the experience.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Now we are connected because we have a framework that we can utilize each and every day.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: You wake up.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: What are you doing?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Trying to live.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: You take a step.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: What are you trying to do?
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Trying to learn how to live.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Take another step trying to learn how to think.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Take another step trying to learn how to think.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Take another step trying to learn how to think and respond to the way I have to live.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Now we're talking about problem solving.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: So, children in crises it's like rap music.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: You got to figure it out.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: You have to figure it out on your feet.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You got to bring it.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: You got to bring it because that's what they're responding to.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: They are not aware that you have this capacity.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Just relax and be you.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: So I'm not talking academics, I'm talking social learning.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, and I'm talking about a language system that's rooted in basics Live, learn, think, respond, contact, interact, cooperate, participate.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute, reflect, baby, on what how you're performing, how you're, not how you not performing.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: You talk to me like that.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: You're not giving me the credit that I deserve, see, because I'm trying not to respond to you in the way that you're responding to me.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to interact with you a little.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I'm talking to the brain, I'm not talking to the body.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: All my words are aimed at the neurophysics of the child's inner sense of feel, because that's what they're blocking.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: They don't want to feel you, so they're doing everything they can to block your energy flow and what you're trying to do is accept the fact that you're being denied access and continue to work through the brain's body to learn how to work with this kid from the inside to the outside.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Now, who's changing?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: You are so.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: You could have been the worst person or the worst parent yesterday, but because you're utilizing these techniques, you are beginning to understand, because you're talking to your own brain first and relating it to your child's brain Now, telepathically.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: You are finding that connection.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: You're finding a way to bond because they can't feel you.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: You act like you do because you are in the lead and the more you practice learning how to use the brain's body, the more receptive your child's going to be when you're not looking.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: That's what you're looking for 14 days of consistency from you.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Change the behavior pattern.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Right Now you're getting your data, because now your child is saying well, it's been 10 days now and I mean it's not as bad as it used to be.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: And don't forget, they've been giving you hell.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: But you have to stand your ground because the believability is that you can't change, you cannot adjust, you cannot go from being physical to being mental, more mental than you are physical right.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: You can't stop being who you are on the outside and then mimic it on the inside so that you are leading her to believe, or him to believe, that better not step to me calming, cooling and collecting the necessary information to sustain your growth and progress in trying to work through the crisis itself.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Bam, you're no good if you can't make money.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: You're no good if you can't move through the hurt, pain and sadness of what happened to you that is now trying to reciprocate or run through the brain, body and sense systems of your children, because they've been watching you in your state of pain, hurt and anxiety.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, now I can go all the way, but I'm talking about the system, the human system, science system, and I want you to understand something when a child cannot interact through their emotions, they struggle to experience your signs of care with appropriate responses to your contact.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: That's what you're looking for.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Instead of cooperating, they release signs of anger, fear and anxiety.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Bam, that's what you're looking for.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Instead of cooperating, they release signs of anger, fear and anxiety.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Bam, that's why you're physical, because you say ah no, you better respect me, wait a minute.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: This means they do not know how to think through their feelings of emotion long enough for their inner voice to connect with the way their brain talks back.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Bam, the inner voice, the voices Settle down.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: We're not crazy here.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: We're talking about the inner voice from the external you that your child is dealing with.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: And then they're blocking their own inner self-talk.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Because if they don't, then they are more physical than we even can appreciate.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: And that's why you're talking to the child's brain, not the child's body, because if you talk to the body it's coming Y'all in a fight Now.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: It's not physical, but their language tells you and you want to get physical.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about?
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Crisis intervention how?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Because your inner voice has to be brain talk.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I'll say it again your inner voice has to be, or allow, the brain to talk back, because your brain responds to everything.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: It's like your child.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Your child responds that's the brain.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: But they don't know it's the brain because they don't know how to navigate the emotion.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: They don't know how to navigate, manage the emotion.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: They don't know how to move through the anxiety.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: They don't know how to move through the fear.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: They don't know how to move through the hurt.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: They don't know how to move through the pain and sadness.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: They, they don't know how to move through the pain and sadness.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: They don't know how to move through what happened.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: That's what you get to the bottom of.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: So when you pick up reflective storytelling, that's what it's telling you.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Let's move through the crisis self first.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: If we can get through the crisis self and learn how to live together, then we can deal with going to school and getting better grades so we can perform together.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Because I got to go to work, you got to go to work.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just talking about brain talk.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: This is logic.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter where you go.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: People are going to talk like this in relation to the workplace, in relation to the school being a workplace, in relation to learning how to learn to live with other people.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: No, because you see, the foundation is coming from you and you want other people who are also in the game, who talk that language of survival beyond what they are existing in, to a competitive environment where they can perform at a higher level, with their children following them, because they're winning them over with their intellect, the neurophysical self, the brain's body.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I think that's enough.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Stay tuned.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try to bring it and I'm going on a tour with my new book shortly and I'll be letting you know how that's going to go, but I'll be on YouTube.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I'll give you the channels that you can tune in.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's going to be powerful.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, pick it up Human Systems, science and the Best Instance Child.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Mental health Self-awareness.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about?
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Minute Mental health Self-awareness.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Read it for yourself Doc Slade, live Brain's Body Tuning out, tuning out.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: Stay tuned.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I'll be back shortly.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Remember, you're the experience.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: You're the experience.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: The ultimate experience is you, thank you.