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why do narcissists try to compete with you so much? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on? Beautiful people.
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the nurses is code.
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  I have your favorite self-aware narcissist mr.
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  Lee hammock better known as mental illness, across all
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  social media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face are hearing my voice, I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist,
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  and I use my platform on social media to raise awareness for
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  MPD. Get more people into therapy and
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  also validate the victims survivors and thrivers of said
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  disorder said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about why do narcissist compete
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  with you. Why?
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  Do they rarely if ever give you your props, why don't they want
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  to see you when and things of that nature.
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  So, first of all, the self-love Journal is available on Amazon.
• 0:42
  Hey look, I was you showing me. She showed me here a little
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  Rainbow, a little bracelet. The self-love Journal is
• 0:50
  available on Amazon. Y'all UTM on daughter duty
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  today, right now, because I got to sneak some time to make my
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  video. But several of journal on
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  Amazon, I love me. Lee Havoc.
• 1:00
  But yeah, I see, I don't cut the videos.
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  I will cut it, as I will cut it just thought.
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  Oh, I cannot cut the video, but narcissistic people typically do
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  not want to see you win, because shame is a great private
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  provocation for most narcissism talk to people.
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  They feel like if you are doing better than them, if you fight,
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  if you are doing better than me, if you look better than me, if
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  you have more success than me, if you are smarter than me, did
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  you make me feel Feel worse about myself.
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  It's like, I'm already. I'm already beating myself up,
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  internally, right? Might the end of my inner voice.
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  My inner shame is already telling me that I'm not good
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  enough, the nothing, I know. Nothing.
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  I do will be good enough, nothing I do will can't be good
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  enough for me or you know to make myself feel better.
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  Feel good about myself. So if I'm concerned, if I'm
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  already consistently telling myself that when you do better
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  than me, it's like a weird confirmation bias.
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  Within my head. Did you say?
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  Hey, look I already knew I was a horrible.
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  Person always knew I was not a good person.
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  I always knew that I was worthless and things of that
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  nature. Always knew it, right?
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  So if you aren't, that's what dance is just the people always
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  want to compete with you because even if I do better than you, I
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  still don't feel. I still don't feel good about
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  it. You say I'm saying because I
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  know internally, especially being self-aware, right now, I
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  know internally that it would not be enough for me, you know,
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  I know internally that they just won't be it cannot be enough for
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  me. I need to keep moving forward.
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  Because sooner or later you might catch me sooner or later,
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  this might happen sooner or later, you might catch me again
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  and make me feel worse than or or once I surpass you once, if I
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  compete with you and I surpassed you, there's already somebody
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  else that's already above me in this plan in this in this Arena.
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  You know? Mean so just real life example,
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  like Sam vaknin. Yo, wanted to do these deep
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  first self-aware. Nurses on YouTube, you know, I
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  always come silently competing with him on YouTube, but I want
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  to pass my want to get more followers.
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  He did. And when I finally passed him I
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  was like okay what's next? He some say it's this weird
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  competition thing where I'm not like I would never put down.
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  Nah nah nah. Nah nah.
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  Nah, no sound. I would never put down any of
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  sound back in this video because he he's the like this.
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  He's the he's the architect of self-aware narcissism but made
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  my mind, I was competing with him on a number of followers,
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  but he has his impact is way bigger than mine, you know?
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  He's impact is through me. So I'm just like, ah, like Like
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  I'm Chris, I've created impact because of him and his videos
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  and hit his like, I'm in, I'm in his direct lineage.
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  So anything I do can be attributed to him while you when
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  I'm using the term Hoover or, you know, suffer for doctors or
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  whatever. I just like I'm in his lineage
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  so it doesn't matter about passing the number of followers.
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  My impact is part of his him back, so just like, ah, it's
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  frustrated, but it's again. Shout out the sound back.
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  And do you think, man, this is not me hating on you.
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  I promise you. I'm not.
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  But this is how my mind works. I need to, I need something to
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  compete. Like, if I'm not competing with
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  you, I think in a lot of other narcissist feel the same way.
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  If I'm not competing with you, or if I don't have someone to
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  compete with, it feels like I'm wasting away.
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  It feels like I've become stationary, you know, I've
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  listened to so many motivational speakers they say, hey, if
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  you're not, if you're not moving forward, if you're not growing,
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  you're dying. You know, mean if you're not
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  growing, you're dying. If you die, if he likes, if
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  you're not moving forward, you're going to die internally.
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  You die internally, your you started you die it.
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  You die from the inside out, you die it internally, then you're
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  not externally something. I don't want to die, so some
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  narcissist need to compete with you to feel better about
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  themselves to dig them up from there to dig themselves up from
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  the shame, the grave of these shame, you know, I mean
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  sometimes assisting people have to compete with you to feel
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  better about themselves and feel better about ourselves.
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  So we have something to look forward to in the morning
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  because yeah and plus narcissist getting bored.
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  Y'all a lot of us are super bored with our lives and in our
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  existences, so competing with you and not celebrating you and
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  putting you down, makes us feel About ourselves.
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  Sometimes you say I'm saying, that's why you see something
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  artistic people that will they will refuse.
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  Refuse to celebrate your victories refused to celebrate
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  your progress. Refuse to be there for you.
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  They refuse to clap. They refuse to clap for you.
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  You know, they make excuses for why you are successful.
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  You know. They make excuses for what why
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  you were successful and I'm not successful, they are not
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  successful. Even if I would have been I
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  would have played Sports, and this is just, this is just not
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  into Emmett intimate partnership, relationships job.
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  This could be your parent. This could be your child
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  competed with you. This could be your brother, your
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  sister, your friend, your boss, your coworker, anybody in the
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  world is that the dynamic shifts, you know, mean, the
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  dynamic can shift and things of that nature.
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  But just the way it goes to, Yo, some people just feel some
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  people, feel some people feel like this is they have to
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  compete with you. Like some narcissistic people
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  will absolutely compete with you.
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  They won't clap for you because clapping for you means I'm not
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  I'm not clapping for myself. What am I?
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  What else what am I really clapping for?
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  You may narcissistic people, aren't we?
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  Like, yeah, we are super jealous.
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  We just always super jealous, envious, whatever you want to
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  say. I.
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  So I do believe there's a difference between jealousy and
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  envy jealousy to me, to me, y'all jealousy.
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  To me means that I want what you have, but I'm not trying to
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  replace you. I'm jealous of you of what you
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  have, and I want it, I feel like I deserve it.
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  You know, I'm not trying to replace you.
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  Envy is like, I want what you have and I deserve to be where
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  you are. You don't deserve it.
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  So I'm trying I'm trying to replace you.
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  The end beat the envious people can be way more dangerous than
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  the jealous people. The envious people start to
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  smear campaigns and try to ruin your reputation, and try to take
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  your spot and things of that nature.
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  You mean, you see a lot of envy that goes on in the world of
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  politics and things of that nature.
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  So you have to protect your PC out you really after.
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  And I tell people in that this is easier said than done.
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  Yeah. And it's probably not gonna make
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  sense to a lot of people but try not to take it personally when
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  you are dealing with a narcissistic person.
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  If this competing with you you going to take its try not to you
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  because it's About you is not really about you and is dynamic
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  in the circumstance in this situation.
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  It's not really about you is really literally but how to
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  narcissistic person feels about themselves.
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  It's about how we feel about ourselves internally.
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  That drives us down this hole and messes with our minds.
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  You mean the makes us feel like we have something to we have
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  something to fight for. You mean, it's as we dig
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  ourselves into this deep deep hole and it's hard to dig out of
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  it. Yeah, once we start digging is
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  hard to stop digging. It's a the In the hole becomes
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  addiction becomes an addiction, we can become addicted to
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  digging the hole deeper and making ourselves feel worse
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  about ourselves. Yeah, it is, it is a crazy
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  mindset because the deeper we did the deeper, we dig this
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  hole, the less, we the less fulfilled, we can be you doing
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  the deeper. We dig this hole.
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  Like I did an analogy the other day, like the deeper, you go
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  into the deeper, you go into the ocean, the less light you have
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  the same thing in this situation right here.
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  The the light is fulfillment and light is Joy the deeper.
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  We dig this hole into insecurities and shame the less
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  joy that we can feel the less joy that we feel in these
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  situations. So we have to we have to
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  literally Empower ourselves to keep moving forward and to be as
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  strong as we possibly can. Because if we don't y'all it's
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  just we're just wild nature is its the really is a wild mindset
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  to have y'all. It really is.
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  So don't take it. Try not to take it personal when
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  you see a narcissistic person is competing with you because they
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  are not, they are competing with themselves, you know, they want
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  to be the better, they want to be the best version of
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  themselves and they don't even know what that is.
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  I don't even know what The best version of myself is, I don't
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  know what I'm straight. I don't know why I'm striving
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  for, I'm striving for happiness. But what has happened is really?
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  Yeah. What is Joy?
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  Really? What?
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  Discontentment really you made? So, just try not to take it
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  personally, how it was at my daughter's right here in the
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  floor. I would keep this video.
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  This is podcast short and sweet to the point y'all.
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• 8:47
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• 9:12
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