Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / How to Experience Peace With Food During the Holidays | With Nyla Wiebe Enneagram Three

Transcript

How to Experience Peace With Food During the Holidays | With Nyla Wiebe Enneagram Three · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Jingle bells, plates of cookies, turkey trots, and Christmas wishes.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is that time of year again.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I can hardly believe it, can you?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Amy Wicks, a wife, mom, author, certified Enneagram life coach, and host of the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the sixth annual Advent Series, where you're gonna hear all about the practical rhythms for cultivating gratitude and celebration this holiday season.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Let's usher in this time of year with a tone of excitement because Christ's birth is something that has changed everything for you and me.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to share these powerful guest conversations with you about food freedom, navigating lives during times of celebration, sharing favorite holiday traditions, and even how to relate to all the Enneagram types, even unhealthy ones, at all those family gatherings.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I pray this wholehearted take on the Aven season blesses you richly, sweet friend.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Merry Christmas.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friend, I am so glad that you've decided to share some of your day with me once again.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know you are in the thick of balancing all the things motherhood, work, the holidays.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your time is precious.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the fact that you spend a little bit of that limited time with me holds such a blessing and honor.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have my podcast manager on this show, Nyla Weeb.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now she's an Enneagram 3, so she wears a bunch of hats.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Not only does she run a podcast production business, but she is also an online intuitive eating coach.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's so fun, right?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: What a great combo.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's been a little while since I've done a food-centered podcast episode, I thought it was overdue to bring on someone to share their thoughts and expertise on how to ditch the food guilt and body stress, which is often so distracting from the celebrations that we attend from really October to January each year.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's a little bit about Nyla before we jump right in.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Nyla lives in Canada with her husband Mark and their black and white cat, Quincy.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And because it gets pretty chilly in the prairies where she lives, you will find her bundled up in order to enjoy refreshing prayer walks in the snowy parks.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nyla's passions include helping other business owners begin and continue a podcast as well as helping guide Christian women down the road to food freedom.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: She loves helping uncomplicate food and help women to feel confident in their God-given bodies.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, this conversation is so great.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait for you to meet Nyla.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Nyla, here we are.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing a podcast.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, me too.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: I it is so weird.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: We were talking about before we started that it's weird but so cool because it's usually I edit your podcast.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not on your podcast.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was thinking.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is a fun way to get you behind the mic.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some people have heard me refer to you.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Dyla Wave, the podcast editor, or who's been helping me with this or that.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or if they were part of the summit, they maybe got to meet you as well because you were part of those live Zoom calls too.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm I'm so excited.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I've been praying over our conversation and I know just the Holy Spirit's going to lead it and it's gonna be so fun.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited to see where he leads it.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking through our short history together.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was maybe about a year ago when you reached out to me.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think it took a while before we could meet and have that Zoom call initially, but you had heard me reference in a few of my podcasts because you had listened to my podcast about, yeah, I need help and help I need it indeed.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: You volunteered your services, let me know a little bit about you.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I started listening to the podcast you had, you and I met, and I'm like, hmm, this girl's pro.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: This this girl almost feels too good to be true.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Is she?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And indeed, we have proven you're not too good to be true.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're just exactly what the Lord knew I needed.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm just thrilled.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thrilled to be here.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're celebrating the holiday season.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing the sixth annual avent episodes, and I can't believe it.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was what it was around the holidays that we first connected.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not quite yet a year, but it feels like I've known you a lot longer.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: So it's crazy.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Time flies.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It probably doesn't hurt the fact that you're listening to my voice and your earbuds all the time, all day long on Voxer and on your podcasts.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's true, it's true.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I if this is a good testament to your work, and I think it is.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have, I don't know, I think I've told you uh told given your name to at least six people that I know who've wanted to do a podcast and been like, well, I have the gal for you.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: She's the expert.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: You want to have her help you.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not giving your name away anymore, though.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, mom's the word.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: As I invite you on this podcast and tell everybody how great you are, of course.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, so grateful for you.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Word of mouth is so valuable in a business.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: So that best way to advertise for sure.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Word of mouth.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Get one happy client and then your business can just take off.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is so true.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I've been doing a lot of work with other coaches and also helping people decide if they're ready to be an Enneagram coach.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have just talked about the way, best way to start a business and to start a business that is sustainable.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't rely on social media.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need a fancy website, word of mouth, asking friends and family, serving the people that you get to serve really, really well.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then asking them to share their good news with their friends and family.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: That really is some of the best um community that you can build.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: And even if you do have a website to get a really strong review of your first customer or first client, it just is so powerful to get that testimony.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what I love about this community and this podcast community.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you and I, we've been talking about this a lot is really and sharing it with our friends here is like the one of the best thank yous that uh can be offered any time of year is sharing these episodes with friends and family because that one, and especially then when you come and tell me, Oh my gosh, I shared it with everyone I know, or I shared it with these people, I know it would mean so much to them.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: That that is like the best compliment that I could get.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it it encourages me to keep going and sharing these conversations and all the details and all the work that goes into it.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: It just, you know, it's a helpful reminder.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm doing it for the Lord ultimately, but it's really nice when communities and friends go, Oh, yeah, this was so good.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and a podcast episode, it really can change your life.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I I often pray, Lord, there's so many episodes out there to listen to on different podcasts.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: So lead me to the ones that you know that I need.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: And he's led me to ones that have changed my marriage, have changed my business.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: They can really be life-changing.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: So send it to someone via text or DM.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: It really could change the whole course of their life.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds really big when I say that, but it's true.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is, and that's the beauty of today.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much information at our fingertips.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: It could be overwhelming.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We could choose to just ignore it or, like you said, embrace it and ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us in what we listen to.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Which, you know, even you saying that, alluding to that, that's gonna be the theme of our conversation.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Of what does it look like to ask the Lord for leadership of what we do and don't do or what we partake of and don't partake of?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: But before we get on a roll, because I know this conversation is gonna go all over the place because it's kind of what our conversations are like.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And Nyla is definitely laughing at me because it's true.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to know, learn more about your Enneagram type.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: We've shared a couple of things along the way.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: We'll call them Easter eggs, right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's if you listen over this last year, you can hear and learn about Nyla, but tell us a little bit about your Enneagram journey, your type, your experience, anything that you feel like it's it's impacted you greatly and you'd love to share with others.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I found it maybe like three years ago.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: There were some podcasters that I was following on Instagram as well, listened to their podcasts and was watching their stories on Instagram, and they kept talking about this Enneagram thing.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it took me the longest time to be able to pronounce it.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: Just I did not know what they were saying.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And they were both threes, and they were saying, Oh, yeah, that's an Enneagram three thing.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I could so relate to everything that they were saying about the three.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I thought, I wonder what number I am.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so I went and did a test, found one online, and I did it a couple times, and it kept telling me I was a two.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: But when I would read the description of a three, that one felt like someone had stolen my diary and had like written it stuff that I had said in there down as the description.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then I found the sleeping at last, I think that's what it's called, the music.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I listened to the three one, and again, it just it made me feel so seen and known.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And wow, there's other people who feel like me in this world.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I really was able to discover that my wing was a four.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: I thought it was a two for a long time, but when I dug into it more, the four just really again I had that reaction where wow, someone's giving me language for things that I felt only like I felt all my life, like the four feeling like they have this fatal flaw.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if people find it, they're gonna um not like them anymore.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And just really that love of creativity.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: I love that my parents gave me a creative name that's unique.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: The four wing in me is like, yes, thanks, mom and dad.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a a struggle though with that combination of a three and a four, because the four is like be genuine, be authentic in every conversation.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then the three is telling me, like my dominant three type is saying, no, no, no, like read the room, be what is gonna be approved of in this room.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so the chameleon hat kind of comes on, and there's this kind of conversation in my head of the three and the four being like, no, no, no, do this, no, do this.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a little bit about my journey to the Enneagram.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's only been about three years.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: It is so interesting.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been working with a client recently who really identified a lot with the three, but also the four.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And she had actually not communicated her struggle with that, but it was so fascinating to unpack that she leads as a four, but with a strong three wing.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And there is, we talked about that that element of that tug and that pull between the be a success, shine bright to the if you shine bright, everyone's gonna see this fatal flaw and you're not gonna fit in and you're not gonna have belonging, and really that war within the mind and the heart, because both are heart folks, and so that those emotions rise so high.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just been a it's I I always find it so interesting and lovely to get to work with threes and fours and those who respond wings and really just have them and giving them permission to pay attention to that war and that battle, and yet also go, okay, those feelings are valid, but they're not necessarily real.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so it ends up being a lot of our conversations through coaching end up helping step into what is true while still allowing the the feelings to be valid, which I'm sure you can relate to.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah, totally.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I thought I was a a two-wing for a while because the twos are well, you had that whole Christian overlay episode, and the twos are very to be Christ-like is to be two, kind of like that mindset in the church.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think I thought I'm supposed to be a two-wing, and then I I found out no, no, no, I'm a I definitely have the stronger four-wing, even though I utilize the two occasionally.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, and I absolutely would say this is the beauty of the Enneagram, is that we're more than one.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: We have all those parts, we engage all those parts, and I see the two rise up in your work in a different way.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I see the four for sure in your creative essence and the way that you can see sometimes those missing pieces that I'm like, oh yeah, that's so brilliant.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then that too, you come in as the supporter and champion of others in a way that is really you're not looking for the limelight.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: The limelight is almost this nice bonus that you take it in stride.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I I believe that's the healthy work that you've been doing, but I I definitely see the two where you're like, I love making other people's dreams happen and championing that and creating space and helping helping make it even more beautiful, which I I think you do day in and day out.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, just a little, you know, nod and a wink to that because I see it.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: No, thank you.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I wanted to kick off this official Advent holiday season, which I can't believe it's Halloween today.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it does kick off all the candy eating and then the feasting, and then we say we're not gonna eat any or we're just gonna have one, and then we have a ton.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I a couple years ago, or maybe it was even in the first Advent season, I should look back, but we I did have some health coaches over the years, and we talked about this and we talked about that, and drinking more water and having a snack, you know, some really practical application ideas.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I mentioned before that you had a couple of podcasts and I really enjoyed listening to them.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And one that I've often recommended to many of my clients and friends is your intuitive eating podcast, intuitive eating with Jesus podcast.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much there that I know we're not going to unpack it all today.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I give that shout out of going, hey, we'll have the link in the show notes, go listen to it.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of great episodes.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, the intuitive eating with Jesus was birthed from your own broken hearted moment.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we love to talk about those broken hearted moments because they lead us to the whole hearted decision.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Or that's usually why people are sitting with me because they've written a book, they've started a podcast, they have a coaching business, all sorts of things, or maybe they wrote the music or whatever it is, began the ministry.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: So for you, what what is part of your story?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing that I know you impact a lot more on your platform and and all of that, but what has really led you to this intuitive eating with Jesus, which might be very unfamiliar to most friends.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there is an episode on my podcast where I go into my full food freedom journey, and I it's like 45 minutes, and I just go down memory lane and I share about the whole journey.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm to pinpoint that brokenhearted moment, I always think back to I'm I must have been 19 or 20.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm 30 now, and I was probably around 19 or 20.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember sitting on the steps of my college and I had ate my lunch.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was in the fall, and I didn't like to eat around people.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: I was struggling with an eating disorder.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had ate my lunch outside by myself, away from my classmates.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I just remember having this thought that if nothing changes, nothing is gonna change.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I don't make a change in my life, I'm gonna be the same way anorexic at 70 as I am anorexic right now at 19 or 20.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that picture of the future still having these same struggles just was so sad.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I decided I don't want to live like this anymore.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I remember taking the bus home that day.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: And before I got my books out to work on any project for college, I was in a nutrition program, ironically, and I Googled my city name and I did counseling, so counseling services in my city.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And this Christian counseling place came up and I scrolled through the list of their counselors and I just picked one that looked friendly, like I could trust her.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: She was pretty, she had blonde hair, just looked like a safe person.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I booked an appointment with her.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it was the hardest thing ever to do to book that appointment with her, but it literally was life-changing, and it was so cool that I didn't have a car in the city at that time, but that counseling office just happened to be, and it was totally God orchestrated, was only about two blocks from the college that I was going to.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I could walk there after school and then just get back on the bus that I normally would get on to go home.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just so cool how God worked it out that the location of that counseling service that was a Christian counseling service was right there.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I saw her for about two years and I still run into her every once in a while.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: We both still live in the same city, and it's just it's really cool.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: I got to speak at her event.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: She had a counseling event one time, and I got to be their key speaker, and they used my story on some of their uh like marketing stuff.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: They asked me, and it was just so cool to get to then promote their services that had once uh just so blessed me.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: So that's a little bit of my broken-hearted moment was those steps on at my college.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, you paint a beautiful picture and probably one that we all can relate to in some way where we realize that we are stuck and we're gonna stay this way if we don't do something different.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: I love how the Lord led you to something that was accessible and uh the end the fact that it was someone who is a believer who loved Jesus.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I know there's a lot of other pieces to the story and players, but you now are an active intuitive eating coach, whereas you're working with clients in this methodology or idea of intuitive eating.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: So what is that?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, that phraseology might be unfamiliar to some of our people.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Intuitive eating, what?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it's kind of confusing what I do because I am a virtual assistant and I do like podcast producing, but then I also do intuitive eating coaching.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of have two different businesses.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: So some people are confused.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, I thought you were VA.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you teaching people about food and vice versa?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: So because you're a three and you like to do lots of things, yeah, multi-passionate.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's that's right.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I should answer that way when people ask me, you have so many hats on, just pick one.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, you can wear multiple ones, it's totally okay.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm with you.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Intuitive eating, and it's so funny because I have my microphone propped up with some books to make it the right height, and one of the books is the intuitive eating book.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I love it.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: It is a book, and it was created by two dietitians, I think around 25 years ago or something like that.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's lots of studies been done on it that show that it works, and they teach it in some universities now, too.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't make it up.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: It is by two dietitians, and it's not a diet, it's the opposite of a diet.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: And a diet will give you like generalized guidelines of this will work for everybody, eat this way and exercise this way, and it'll work for everybody.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: But intuitive eating is it's not rules, it's guiding principles, and you learn how to implement them uniquely into your life.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I identify as an intuitive eater, and so do other people, but the way we eat can be completely different.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like what we ate might be different, how much we eat might be different when we eat.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I really do believe Adam and Eve were intuitive eaters in the Garden of Eden.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: And because they didn't have any keto back then, or like Weight Watcher cookbooks, or any like women's health magazines to look to for how to eat.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: They just had the Holy Spirit and their body cues, and that's basically what intuitive eating is you learn to listen to your God-designed body cues for what to eat.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: And intuitive eating isn't faith-based, but I put that faith-based perspective on it.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I really do believe we're all just born as intuitive eaters because you don't hear a baby like breastfeeding and then all of a sudden getting off of the mother's breast and being like, Oh, I've had too many calories, I have to stop for today, or oh no, I can't eat.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's past 7 p.m.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're just eating when they're hungry, they're stopping when they're full, they're resting when they're tired.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just teaching people how to relearn those that relationship with their body cues that they may have lost because of diet culture telling them not to eat after 7 p.m.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: or don't eat the cake.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's bad for you.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: You have to always eat the vegetables.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just really helping people get back to their roots that they may have unlearned because of parents or media or magazines and things like that.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully that gives it you like a Nutshell view of intuitive eating.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: I love it because it's it's symbiotic to the rhythm that we're always talking about here, the rhythm of celebration, the rhythm of resting and Sabbath, the rhythm of engaging with our work and rest and play and all those different things, a rhythm of getting with the Lord and getting in the word, where instead of it's this hard and fast rule, it's this ongoing dance and and flow, which we have to change sometimes.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: We have to change the tempo, we have to be more focused and intense.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we get to back off and relax and just go with it.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what I think has struck me with the intuitive eating and just all the information that I've learned from you over the year in particular, of like, oh, this makes sense.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I did hear about it before.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I heard about it.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never forget the conversation from a friend way back.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: It was early aughts, and uh, we were both falling in love and getting married, and she was talking about this intuitive eating, and I think she maybe called it a little bit different, but it was the first time as well for me that I had heard something different than all the different dieting things.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I I've been I haven't talked about a whole lot, but I used to really struggle with my weight and it was such a burden and did all the diets fell into the like the 80s and the 90s and the low fat and weight watchers, and which I'm not mocking Weight Watchers, they've changed through the years, but all I did all of the things, the cabbage soup, which is disgusting.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: If anyone knows from the 90s, they know what I'm talking about.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I I did all the things and I just remember talking to Brandy and she was talking about, yeah, I don't know, I've been working with this person and she's teaching me to know what it looks like to be full and what is it when I really am hungry and what does that feel like?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I I just remember sitting there, we were probably at like an Einstein bagels or something and going and she was eating a bagel, and I'm like, how do you eat a bagel?
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because then it was we were into the low carb thing.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just uh the first time I could see the freedom in her and where it it kind of marked me.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: But all of that to say, you know, it's not a new thing.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, instead, it's going back to even back to the garden of how we were originally designed and and going with that.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so much more.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I know we can't possibly unpack it, but that's why Nyla has a podcast.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's why she's an intuitive eating coach.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to get into the nitty-gritty of what kind of advice do you have for us?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: As okay, maybe we're not going to start something completely new, but maybe just as the season is inviting us into a rhythm of celebration, a rhythm of acknowledging our grief, a rhythm of resting, but also feasting.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: How do we do all of this?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Especially when sometimes a relationship with food is oh, there's there's so many layers to it.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: And the people around you at your holiday gatherings may have complicated and unhealthy relationships with food.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you that is a whole nother piece where you might hear people eating pumpkin pie and saying, Oh, I'm I'm being so bad, or I better go to the gym after this.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: So you get those distorted messages around you, which makes it even harder when you're trying to change your relationship with um food.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I I think the most important thing to remember, especially around holidays, because food is a big piece of holidays, is to remember that no matter what you eat, your worth tank, I like to call it like your worth tank.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: We all have this tank that is where our worth goes.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you just want to use that kind of imagery with me, just know that whatever you eat during the holidays, it can't add to your worth tank or it can't take away from your worth tank.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's a hundred percent full level all the time because your creator gave you worth and your creator is always gonna be God.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I like to say we're we're worthy 100%, no matter what we do in a day or what we eat, how much we get crossed off our to-do list, or again, how we exercise or how we eat, because we're made off of the blueprints of worth himself.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just like a tattoo.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can't like take that off of us.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the world will tell you if you eat carrot cake, your worth tank got dipped into a bit.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: And but if you ate carrot sticks, you got more worth.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: And if you took a rest day, then oh, there goes a little bit of your worth, it's down a few percent.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or um, if you went for a run or did CrossFit, like you got more worth.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so just I think really keeping that straight that no matter what I eat at holiday gatherings or even every day of the year, my worth that it can't touch my worth because that worth is just sealed with the blood of Jesus.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is the most important thing to remember.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that isn't in the intuitive eating book because that's definitely like heavy on the faith component.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I when I was praying about what to say, I really felt like that needed to be the one thing if people remember from this conversation is to just remember when they're eating whatever during the holidays, or if they're not able to work out like they normally do because they're busy, just repeat over yourself constant worth, constant worth.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's really a good place to start.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: You, as a three, to be able to speak that truth, that is not easily gotten.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: You had to fight hard for that, and in all the best ways, fighting hard on your knees and really believing the Lord at his word that that is true.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: I I know that for so many threes, and and those of you who struggle with that worth message, that significance message, you're all shaking your head, like, oh man, I really needed to hear that.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think it makes so much sense, and that is the launching point that like you have to start from that place and and remember that because in the rhythm, sometimes we're going backward and forward.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes we might be staying on track, right?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and doing great, and that's awesome.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: But like you said, it doesn't make us more valuable or more worthy, just as maybe we didn't hit our program, quote unquote, the way we wanted to.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: It it doesn't attract.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that's so good.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm curious to know what is some of the top advice that you are giving your clients as maybe they are nervous about engaging in the holiday feasting.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I I love what you said too about you're gonna have to be cautious about the words being said around you because that's you know, that's something important to note and also to be aware of what we are saying that our kids and those who care about what we have to say, you know, they're listening as well.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we can make an impact with our words and life and death is held in the tongue.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: So be careful what you're speaking over yourself because it does matter to someone else too.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's okay to have those conversational boundaries and say, hey, I'm really working on my relationship with food.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would really like if you didn't talk about food in a negative way like that.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to reframe it as all food is a gift from God and no food has moral worth or anything like that.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you're comfortable, you can say that.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: But if not, it's totally okay to go to the bathroom or go fill up your water glass and just excuse yourself from the conversation.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: I recently had to do that.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in Canada and we already had our Thanksgiving.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: And my family, one side of my husband's family sometimes likes to talk about like gruesome things.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so they weren't talking about food, but it was just like gross things.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so I said, I can't hear this.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I stood up and I left and I went to one of the nieces' bedrooms and just hung out there until they came and got me.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I was not ashamed, I was more so just annoyed at them because I've told them before, don't talk about that in front of me.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: But all that to say it's okay to remove yourself from a conversation if it's damaging your relationship with food that you're trying to heal.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I had one client say that you need to protect your peace, you need to protect your progress.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes it looks like leaving a conversation if they're not respecting the boundaries that you've asked to be held up when it comes to food.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: But I know that's uncomfortable and sometimes it's not appropriate to do if you don't know the person well, but just be Holy Spirit led and say, Should I speak up?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: Should I leave?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: Just he wants to help us with healing our relationship with food.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes we just want to invite God into who should I marry?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: Should I move here?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: Should we switch churches?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: Should I take this new job?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: But he can also say, What should I eat for breakfast today?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Should I talk to this person about how they talk about food?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: He would love to be our nutritionist, our dietitian, and help us navigate this all.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes we think he's too big to concern himself with our food, but he gave us food to enjoy.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel led to share that it's not a sin to enjoy food.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: I have some women come to me and feel so guilty, and there's just this tone of shame that, oh, I just I love carbs so much, or I love dessert.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: I have a sweet tooth, and that's okay.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: God could have created us without taste buds, but he gave us taste buds for a reason.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it says in Timothy that he's given us all things to enjoy, and it makes him happy when we're enjoying bran muffins and when we're enjoying salad and cheesecake, all these things, because we know that he loves it when we take time to appreciate a sunset or a beach view that he created.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: And food's no different, it's a creation that he's given us to enjoy.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to share that that it's not bad that you enjoy food.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: It actually makes God really happy.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: He just doesn't want you to turn to food for all your comfort.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's a principle in intuitive eating, there's 10 principles, and one of them talks about dealing with emotions, not just using food.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay to sometimes emotionally eat.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: We just don't want you to always use that as your only tool.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: You want to have other tools in your tool belt that like journaling or prayer or talking to someone or Krishna meditation, things like that.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: So um, yeah, oh man, I could just go on and on.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to keep this short because there's just so much that you could say, but that that's what comes to mind for that question.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: There is so many things.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you said it, and I just want to take a minute and add this.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you and I have only talked through Voxer, mostly because I was thinking through a conversation that I was having and have had over the years, and that is not feeling guilty when you're full and actually seeing it now.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: They're stuffed, they're stuffed and there's uncomfortable, and your belly hurts and you don't want to move and it makes you sleepy.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: I we've probably all felt it around the holidays once or twice, right?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm raising my hand.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking about last Thanksgiving and I was like on the floor dying.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's uncomfortable.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a feeling of full and satisfied that I I think we're invited to feel.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know, me, I you had a lot of wisdom as we boxed back and forth and we could have a whole episode about that.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: But as people go into these months and they might feel fuller, but not stuffed, take some of that guilt away that maybe we feel with in association with feeling comfortable and sustained.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think fullness is a gift, it's a gift that we have enough food where we live that we can actually get to fullness.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: And in intuitive eating, there's a scale, a hunger and fullness scale, and they associate different levels of hunger and different levels of fullness with a number.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so 10 on the fullness scale would be, like you said, that stuffed Thanksgiving dinner.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my goodness, I need to undo my what did I do?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, too many Brussels sprouts.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'll blame it on that.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then the one um would be you're so hungry you can't even think straight.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's a name for that.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's your like primal hunger where you kind of feel like an animal, like all you can think about is just getting food.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: You're so hungry.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think you want to arrive at those holiday meals, not at that one.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to get be so hungry that you're not gonna be able to slowly and mindfully enjoy your food and the conversation, but you also don't want to eat too much that you feel that Thanksgiving full.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: And that's okay though.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: Again, intuitive eating isn't about being perfect.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes you will, oops, I ate a little too much, I was distracted by the conversation, or it was just so good.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I I decided that's part of a healthy relationship with food is sometimes overeating accidentally or on purpose.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I think if you do enter a meal not so hungry that you've tried to have a snack beforehand, then it does avoid accidentally overeating because you're more you're not just like distracted by that hunger because your body's trying to protect you.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: We need food, we're so low on food, and that's why your brain is literally sending you.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think I heard someone say like it's sending you hormones to just think about food, like it's your body trying to protect you.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I heard that on a podcast.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: I that feels right.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hunger, yeah, feels right.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe check it out, but it feels like something God would put in us to help us exactly.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Probably right.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, I love it.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: And even to your point about every once in a while, we have to go to that extreme place either way to remember where we really want to live.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I even, I, you know, I know I had dairy at Thanksgiving last year, and me and Dairy do not get along.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not quite as bad as gluten and I don't get along, but pretty close.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: All of that to say, I just I know I can go into the feasting, the celebrating this year going one serving of mashed potatoes, Amy, is exactly all you need.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it'll be there tomorrow if you survive the first helping.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, and that's part of my seven insatiable appetite, not just with food, but also fear of missing out and like, oh, it won't, you know.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we can operate and get kind of in those frenzies, which why we want to avoid that one so that way we don't end up at 10.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: You bring up a great point though.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have in intuitive eating, they call it the Last Supper mentality, where you think this is the last time I'm gonna see this, or for a really long time, I'm not gonna get to eat ice cream again, or my mom made sugar cookies for Christmas, and I better eat them all right now, otherwise, I won't get them for a full year.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: If we can have this, like swap that mindset of Last Supper mentality for I can have it again soon, it just helps you feel more calm around the food.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you really love the sugar cookies, even though they're a Christmas cookie, you can make them in February or spring or summer.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: There's no rules that we can only have Christmas food at Christmas or Halloween candy at Halloween.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: And when you realize that this is gonna be in abundance whenever you want, it helps us not have that scarcity mindset.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: And in COVID, we saw that with toilet paper.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: People were thinking it was gonna disappear, so then they went crazy.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: And that can happen with food.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: If you think the food is gonna only be available for a short window, you're gonna go nuts around it, like the toilet paper people did.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is so good.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think we have hit a lot of the high points.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: If we talk about the emotional struggles, it's hard to talk about all nine types, and we all have our unique story, our family of origin, our culture built around food.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Where we live geographically is a huge difference.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I mean, I have been in places in this world where overeating is not an issue.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's about survival, it's about just trying to get to that level two instead of staying at one all the time.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I realize that this is a very nuanced conversation, but we talked about the shame.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about maybe even the anger, uh so not eating with our feelings or not eating out of anger because of the family member situation.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then you touched on the security, um, the anxiety that maybe even comes around eating.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: So we've really touched on a lot of those.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think that um, yeah, it's awesome.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: I just see that everyone's going to be able to walk away with one little thing that could really help them engage where they can enjoy.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's that's the whole reason why I again and again do these Advent season podcasts.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: It would be easier.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Listening rates always go down this time.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a lot going on.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Nyla's got a lot going on.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: It'd be easier to say, I'm not gonna do it this year, but I want to extend the invitation to enjoy the rhythm of celebration.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that encompasses all the things from gift giving to getting enough sleep to taking the walks to eating in a way that is life-giving.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that being said, I'm gonna have one more question that kind of goes back to this and you're gonna give your last thoughts and wisdom, but we got to do the rapid fire questions because as I mentioned, it's Halloween.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: We played Christmas music today because, well, even though technically the rule of my house is November 1st for listening to Christmas music, I I figured we could bend the rules a little bit for October 31st.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening to this real time, October 31st, what is the favorite holiday for you?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you and your husband, you and your family.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is it Halloween?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: Is it Thanksgiving?
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is it Christmas?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: What are you all about?
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think Thanksgiving.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: And like I said, we've already had it.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just really because in Canada it's October 10th.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's not, I don't think it's always October 10th.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's one of those weird holidays where it's changes, like it's the first Sunday of I don't know, it's one of those ones where I don't think it's always the same.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: So it's Sunday, not Monday, or how does that work?
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was Monday this year.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, sorry.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like the second or the first Monday of every October, maybe.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: I could be really wrong.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: It could actually be on the same day each year, but I don't think it is.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think you would know.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, this is great because this is me, um, US of A American.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Thanksgiving is the fourth Thursday of every November.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: So this is very different.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think it would be awesome to kick off the holiday season in October with Thanksgiving.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know, if I end up in Canada someday, it's all because of Thanksgiving.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I like how Christmas and Thanksgiving aren't so close because then I think sometimes you'd have to choose are we going up for Thanksgiving to family or are we going up for Christmas because those in the States are so close.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: But for us, they're a couple months apart.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: But it was just a beautiful Thanksgiving.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: I went up to my parents and my sister's family came, and my brother couldn't come because he lives in a different province, but it was beautiful weather, just so gorgeous fall weather.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: The leaves were so vibrantly colored, and we had a campfire in the evening, and we made s'mores and hot chocolate, and we were bundled up, and the kids were just throwing leaves around.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just a really sweet time.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it was probably one of the best Thanksgivings.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it was because I had a different attitude this year, instead of instead of being like, this has to be movie perfect, and like it just has to be perfect.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: I went in with an attitude that I had heard on a podcast about making things half hard and half good, and like accepting that all events are gonna have a little bit of hard and a little bit of good.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so then when something bad happened on Thanksgiving, it was no, no, no, this is just the little part of this is the hard section, but they'll be more good.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it really made for a more enjoyable experience when I wasn't putting that perfection expectation on the holidays in my family and myself, and it was really good.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna put that attitude on Christmas too, I think.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: That is amazing.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: That one hard moment isn't indicative of it all being hard or all going bad, or you know, it's the the other shoe drops, but then we move on.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that sounded like a lovely Thanksgiving, by the way.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, invite me next year.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then so, what are you most grateful for this year?
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: This is so hard.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is probably the hardest question when I was looking at the questions you sent me.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because I I do practice like a gratitude journal, and I often will list things that I liked about the day at the end of the day.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I guess something that I told my husband that I'm really thankful for just this morning actually was I said that I'm really thankful that our home is full of laughter.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: I never have to think when was the last time we laughed?
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_01: We just have laughter regularly in our house, and I think that's such a gift.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: We don't always think each other's jokes are funny.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we groan or like, that's not funny, but we do regularly laugh at each other's jokes.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I had dated some other boys before I dated my now husband, and they didn't think I was funny.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I realize that that's not a given in relationships that you each think each other's funny, and we just laugh about farts and the things that my cat does, and we just have we laugh at the same things that a movie will like make a joke, and we both laugh at the same things, and so I think that's such a gift is just laughter being a regular occurrence in your home.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm really thankful for that.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, that's awesome.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you would say you married your best friend, but it sounds like you guys have become really good friends.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's a six, and the Enneagram has taught me to not get upset with him for not being a three, because I think before I found the Enneagram, I was trying to make him into a three.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why don't you just do it this way?
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: And now I realize he's totally wired different, and that's a beautiful thing, and it's a gift.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: He helps slow me down because I just um live life at a fast pace, and he helps me to slow down because he has zero problem resting, so we're a good uh combination, and I help him be motivated to work out and do things like that.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: This seems to be a typical pairing of one ambitious one over the next, and the seven nine, I could speak to some of the same patterns of behavior and the same pairing in some ways.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, last rapid fire question: What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: pick there's two i narrowed it down to two that's great the the what is it go tell it on the mountain is that yeah yes because i grew up in a pretty conservative church so there wasn't like a lot of movement during worship but when that song would come on during christmas services or christmas plays there'd just be more it was more lively because it's an upbeat song and I just yeah really enjoyed that as a kid that there was people kind of moving their hips a little bit in church and um I go to a like a pretty I don't know what you call it Pentecostal like more movement kind of church now and I've learned to like raise my hands and stuff in church and enjoy that I love it I like that one and then also joyful joyful I I don't know if it's specifically a Christmas one but I remember singing it at a Christmas um play.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like a hymn do you know which one I'm talking about yeah we adore the joyful yeah yeah yeah that one don't keep that in because um that was actually the first song that I sang in public.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was always so afraid to sing in public and that was the first one I sang at a Christmas concert.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: Me and my friend did a little um duet and so it's just special whenever I hear it that was the one that helped me to sing in public for the first time and the first time's always the hardest and then I went on and I did it more but so those two are ones that I really like.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh I love it.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh it totally reminds me of a story I was going to go off on a tangent but Amy Daladin Dallin your Anne Grand Seven Self I love it I can't believe we're having these holiday conversations and Advent is truly around the corner.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I and thank you thank you for sharing all of this I there's so much wisdom already in the conversation that we've had so far but I just wondered if there is any last thing that you wanted to share with our friends here as as they engage um in intuitive eating and maybe trying it out for the first time or exploring it even in the midst of feasting and celebrating.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: I would just encourage people to know that where their food relationship is right now, it doesn't have to stay there.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like their current situation doesn't have to become their final destination.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was healing from my eating disorder there were some people that told me this is just something you're going to probably struggle with your whole life.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that's simply not true because the Bible says anything is possible with God and that includes changing your relationship with body image or exercise or food or your to-do list or anything.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: So just know that change is possible for you in this area and even holidays they don't always have to be this dreaded thing with food.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: It can actually become something that feels balanced and joyful and um I also would really be a huge advocate of counseling and it's super brave and wise and strong to reach out for help.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to have an eating disorder like I did to qualify to get help.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you're just not feeling good with the quality of your life right now that qualifies you reach out for help and know that it's not weak.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a sign of humility and your future self is going to thank you because your life is going to feel so much more free and happy if you do what I did when I was 19 on the steps and just acknowledge like I have a problem.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want this problem till I'm 70 let's make a change and so I just really encourage people to check out counseling specifically Christian counseling there's a huge difference I've done both non-Christian and Christian and the Christian counseling was just such a deeper level of healing because the Holy Spirit was invited into those sessions and then God was giving the counselor words that I needed to know and so that's just what I would leave this conversation with those two tidbits of information.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: Brilliant Nyla seriously mic drop moment it's so good.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of people out there who would love to if you're listening and you're going yeah I need some help and it might feel scary there are risks if it might feel risky um but it will all be worth it and getting the help you're need a little hand holding this time and into the new year as well as like you said just beautiful not shaming where you are and knowing that it doesn't always have to be that way.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: So well said Nyla I'm grateful to be in your life to count you as a friend and to have you make each episode sound better and better.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for all that you do yeah and I think I'm gonna leave in that singing part and you told me to edit it out but I think I should leave it in okay whatever it'll be it'll be a great memory awesome well happy Halloween happy Thanksgiving and merry Christmas Nyla thanks okay friend what was your main takeaway from this conversation what truth was spoken to you today that you can take with you to the office Christmas parties and family events or maybe even the cupboard where all the kids' candy is where there's going to be food present and possibly negative food conversations.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: Find one thing that we talked about today and keep it close to your mind to help you navigate the season of celebration with an attitude of peace and joy around feasting and delicious holiday food.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've linked Nyla's Christian food freedom podcast below so you can check that out for more inspiration on healing your current relationship with food.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: We both are praying that this episode blesses you and makes you feel more equipped for the food focused holiday season.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now next week as we continue to have these Advent and holiday celebration conversations we're going to talk about navigating the both and how we can both experience loss and have reasons to celebrate.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: Friend if you've been listening for a while now then you know that I have been walking this tension of grief and sorrow and loss yet also I've had personal amazing reasons to celebrate.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sharing a little bit of my thoughts and then also an Enneagram insight about the either or thinking that sometimes causes us to get stuck and I'm hoping to invite you to the both and thinking so no matter what sort of grief or loss or disappointment you might be navigating this year you can also step into wholehearted celebration.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay until then continue to pursue God's perspective purpose and plans for a simply wholehearted life