Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S4 E38 - Recipes for Disaster

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S4 E38 - Recipes for Disaster · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:35
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, thanks for singing us in Steve and Jeff Show Band.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_04: Great to be back in the studio.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_04: That Broadway episode was pretty cool.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_04: I'm still singing those songs from last week, but how are you doing, Jeff?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: Have you ever noticed, Steve, that we have a lot of relatives that we see.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_03: We have more every episode.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_03: Every episode.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Every episode.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: And this is no exception.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: I was uh visiting my cousin over the weekend, and he showed me some of the recipes from my grandfather that he used to have in the restaurant.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: Some of these old stuff.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: We were going through some old file cabinets and stuff, and he showed them to me.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if you know, but my grandfather was had a restaurant, a Romanian restaurant, and he was famous for his kebabs.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: And it didn't work out though.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: It didn't he didn't make it work.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: He opened up a restaurant in Pittsburgh, and within a couple years he had to close it and and he just couldn't compete.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: There was this guy across the street.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember liking the restaurant across the street better than grandfather.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_04: My grandfather's so he your grandfather went out of business because this other guy's food was a lot better, right?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think so.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: The funny story is that my grandma used to tell him that here's the recipes that you should be using, and he would try those recipes, but it didn't work.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I think one day I know from what I heard is that he he got so desperate that he went to ask for help.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh wow of his, you know, his competitor.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_03: And his competitor, I think his name was Joseph, kind of felt sorry for him.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, did he what he did he did he tell him what the secret was?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_04: Did he help?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he well, he tried to, you know, they were both from Romania, so he wanted to help them.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: And he, I guess what he said to him was it it's real simple on how you make these, how you can successfully make this in, you know, this recipe.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: And he says, What you do is you get a huge hunk of bread, and you add some hot seasoning and some spices, and hungry.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_04: Sounds good.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_03: And then you add the tiniest amount of meat, you know, and then he would whisper to him and he'd say, and then add a smidgen of human feces, put it all together, and it and it makes a kebab.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think I ate at that place.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: Uh that's the one opposite Three River Stadium.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_04: I think I did that there one time.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: That might be it.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: And so my grandfather he said, Aha! So you added meat.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it was shortly after that that he lost the the restaurant.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_03: So you know, but you know, recipes are important.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I mean, I bet that recipe would work for meatloaf too, you know.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_04: But I think he did use that for meatloaf.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm sure, yeah.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_04: And everything you go, Sunday meatloaf.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_04: No, I'm not hungry, grandpa.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's kind of like it's kind of like Taco Bell.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: Do you ever notice that everything on the menu, Taco Bell, is made of the same shit?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: They're just like different shapes.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right, exactly.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_04: I think your point with this story, you know, let's assume there was one, but if there was one, uh your point is besides never cooking with human feces, unless, of course, you're a fan of RFK Jr., is that recipes are really important for success in restaurants, or I would say really in life in general.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_04: You know, we all use recipes in some form.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, they you know, we don't it's not food recipes maybe, but we call them templates, formulas, checklists, roadmaps.
• 4:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's not always for food, it's with life issues.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_04: Without those recipes or roadmaps, you won't know where you'll wind up.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, like my Uncle Sal always said, if you don't know where you're going, you're sure to get there.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_04: I guess too, having the right tools is important.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_04: Speaking of tools, I have a friend who runs a concert company, and they had, you know, of course, that that MAGA rally recently, you know, they were putting that on.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of tools were there for sure.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_04: It was really, really hot, and uh you must have been all over your space laser making it rain.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_04: So I mean the crowds were really small.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_04: You know, in fact, it started raining and they had to evacuate the whole place, and in their haste to avoid the lightning, they left a container behind with various recipes or roadmaps, if you will, or talking points uh for the king to use when talking about different issues.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_04: I if he gets asked at the press conference about an issue, uh these are kind of some of the talking points, and it's really genius stuff.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_04: And I I think for the benefit of let's face it, Jeff, the millions listening right now, we should talk about some of those recipes or roadmaps for different situations.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_04: I really could help people out.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_04: It's really going old school.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_04: These are cards, he's on these little cards.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, you know, I most people under a hundred would put it on a computer, but our king is nothing if not old school.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_04: Well, he he might be nothing and old school.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think that's a great idea.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe we can go through some of these cards and learn something, right?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: We'll be absolutely to learn from our king on the best way to answer questions, which is you know, it's just like kebabs, you know.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: If you know what you're doing, you know what the formula is, you can pretty much do anything.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, well, and and it's just like kebabs because in any answer that you give at a press conference, you want to add a little bit of human feces to that answer.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: And when you say human feces, you're not talking about Stephen Miller.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_04: Well, maybe could be.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, why don't we get started?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: Let's take a crack at I'm all I'm dying to know how you answer the Epstein problem.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, God, you know.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_04: I happen to have the Epstein card right here.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm dying to hear, I'm gonna take no I guess I don't need to take notes, I'll just I mean copy of it.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_04: I cut I cut the cards and I I I dealt that one to the top, you know.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, I want to do that one first, you know.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_04: So if asked about anything about Epstein.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_04: This is this is a formula.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_04: So you start with one, I barely knew Epstein or Greenstein or whatever Jewish guy he was.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: Two, he was melanoma, I mean Melania's friend.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_04: So you would have to ask her about him.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_04: And then and there's like a two A.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_04: If asked, Melania says butt stuff plus extra.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_04: There's number three.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_04: I've heard that the island was just outside Wilmington, Delaware, and I heard that Sleepy Joe was there all the time along with every other America-hating Democrat uh demo democrat or whatever they're calling him in Congress.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_04: That's a good order.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_04: They get like an it's like the military, they get an order of the day, and they it's it's like, okay, today they're communists, today they're Dumocrats, today they're you know, whatever, you know.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_04: So but I digress.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_04: Four.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_04: All the Epstein files have been released, but the whole thing's a hoax and there were no files, so we released files that didn't exist.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_04: So but instead, our king is gonna release everything about Hillary's underage sex trafficking pizza ring.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, you know, the one in the basement that didn't wasn't there uh in a couple weeks.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_04: So that's that.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: We're looking forward to that.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_04: And last but not least, five, I won the election in 2020 by a landslide.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, really, that that is kind of that's gonna be a repeating theme.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, that is gonna come up as a coda, if you will, not to go all musical on you, but uh it's gonna come up as a coda in a lot of the a lot of these formulas.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's brilliant.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even remember what the question was at this point.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_04: Uh something to do with yeah, Greenstein or you know, whatever.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, something like that.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: Or Jared was it?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: I it could be Jared.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_04: Actually, there's there's some overlap.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's yeah the Venn diagram is is you know that was a great one, and it it met my expectations.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: So it's hard to believe that it would work, but it worked with me.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: So you know, I think that's amazing.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_04: So oh it's a perfect recipe for those who never want to know the truth.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, you know, what is this?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_04: So why don't you take a card there?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_04: What do you have?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so here's a recipe for oh, it's a question about corruption in the White House.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: This is a good one because you know they there's so much corruption, and we just saw the the Broadway play, which kind of exposed some of that.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: If somebody asks you about that, you know, like you're on six, well, I guess on 60 minutes they won't ask questions like that.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, they're not gonna ask you about that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: No, they won't ask you about that.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_03: But if they if on some other show, if they asked you, the first thing you you say is you say Hunter Biden was the most corrupt elected official in the White House, stealing thousands from all Americans.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's good because it's it's not only isn't it true, but it'll make you stop and think, right, what was he elected to?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, just kind of completely a distraction.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_03: It gives you so many zigzags, it'll keep you spinning.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: So many.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_03: Uh number two, this is a popular one, which is that billionaires are never corrupt because they don't have to be.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: They have so much money that you know they control everything anyway.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_03: Sounds logical.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: And completely not true.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: Just on the surface, yeah.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, on the surface.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: Uh number three, if you were the king, you would say, I am the least corrupt president in the history of the world, next to Hitler, who was very strong.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: Always important to kind of point out.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: Then the next one is I'm not even going to talk about this until we pass the SABE Act, which which will eliminate all the corruption in this country.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, Ken Paxton better look out with that ID thing.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: And last but not least, letting boys play in women's sports is the ultimate corruption.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: There you go.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_04: You know, if that was on a menu, I'd order a double helping.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_04: Now, now, actually, speaking speaking of eating and buying things, I have a recipe here or talking points for a question about the economy.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_04: And that's a question that comes up all the time.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_04: Question about the economy, right?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_04: Here's the rundown.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_04: One, Joe Biden ruined the economy with 45% inflation, and I'm fixing it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_04: Two, excellent, if the economy was doing so bad, how did my family make over three billion dollars in just over a year since I got re-elected?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_04: You know, there's a good question, right?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: It kind of flips because I think what he also says is when they say, Well, you know, you made all this money, and he'll say, Well, what about your 401k?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: Isn't it doing well?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, it's kind of the same idea.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think there's three billion in it, but you know, yeah.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_04: So but you might be getting four or five percent return on that.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's pretty good.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_04: So number three, prices are down nine hundred percent since I've been in office.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, we've we've talked about that a few times on this show, haven't we?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_04: Four.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_04: Why do people have to eat three times a day?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_04: According to RFK Jr., it's not healthy.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_04: Plus, why shop at the store when you can find all the roadkill you need uh just by driving around, you know?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_04: You can eliminate two of those meals a day and reduce your spending by two-thirds.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_04: See, that makes the one meal you eat affordable.
• 11:46
  unknown: Right?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_04: Five, Trump crypto dollars are worth five times regular Trump dollars.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, five times zero is yeah, okay.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_04: But uh six, affordability is a bullshit word made up by Democrats or whatever the order of the day is to call them, and only affects people who can't afford things.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, affordability only affects people who can't afford things.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, okay, all right.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_04: See, this is how they sell this, right?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_04: And brilliant.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_04: Immigrants are buying all the salsa and avocados.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_04: See, those go well with the dogs and cats that VD Jans, I mean JD Vance says that they're eating.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_04: What great talking points.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: That is brilliant, and uh you know, I feel better already.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I can well, I can't afford anything any more uh stuff, but it it feels better and sounds like the affordability slogan is really just made up because you never heard about that when the Biden during the Biden years, and you know it's become a new thing ever since tariffs and the war in Iran, all of a sudden affordability becomes a big issue.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: And speaking of complaints, the next topic that we have here.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, this is the big one, which is the Iranian war.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow, or or vacation, as he calls it, yeah.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, adventure, right?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't know how you get out of this, but I'm let's take a look at what well he doesn't either, so yeah.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: So uh what he's got here is number one.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh, so he's got this divided, so it depends on the day of the week.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so if it's Fridays, then what the risk the recipe is that I Iran is dying to make a deal, and we're really close to making a deal.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: Number two, again on Fridays.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: If they were they were very smart people who are running the government, very strong people, yeah.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, yeah, and that's true.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: Number three, the people of Israel love me.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: I have a 97% approval rating in Israel, and they're grateful for me bringing peace to the Middle East.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: So this is a Friday message, feel good message.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, kind of a Shabbat message, if you will.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, you know, I and hey, if they love him over there, I I I think I found his retirement job, but I digress.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think so.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, the next one is uh Jared is making a deal with Iran with carnival cruise lines to bring riverboat gambling to the strait.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that'll be good for the economy.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_04: You know how we all love that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and number five, if this deal, which is almost finished, doesn't work, it'll be JD's fault.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's kind of obvious.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I should get the Nobel Peace Prize for starting more wars in less than two years.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm currently at 27, not counting Greenland and Cuba.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: So that's kind of the feel good message on a Friday.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: That is outstanding.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: Want to take the Monday through Thursday message.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's see, see what happens then.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: Because I it's smart, isn't it?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: That you kind of switch the messaging depending on the day.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: And and you can kind of time things that way.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_04: And you can time your marketing that way, if you know what I mean.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_04: But anyway, Monday through Thursday.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_04: One, we obliterated them twice.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, not everybody can do that.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: That's hard to do.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_04: To totally destroy something twice.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, wow.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: Two, we will kill every man, woman, and child in the country very soon.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_04: Three, yeah, we destroyed their Air Force Army, Cub Scouts, and the Iranian Antifa.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: Wow, that's impressive.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_04: That that must have taken, oh gosh, the Antifa part must have taken eight seconds, nine.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_04: Four, we have freed the people of Iraq, which is only one letter from Iran, so we're close.
• 15:53
  unknown: Okay.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: Physically close and yeah, and physically close from the alphabet, you know, it's it's it's close, makes a lot of sense.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: Five.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_04: The Iberian religious wars, the Reconquista lasted seven hundred and eighty-one years.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_04: So just be patient, relax.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_04: That's a good one.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's a good one.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_04: Well, yeah, thousand-year war.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, hey, you know, be worth it.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: And in fair, in fairness, it felt like 600 years when we were going through it.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, when it was really 781.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_04: 781, you know, but some of those years just really flew by.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_04: But yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, they were when they were burning the moors down in Granada.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_04: That year just flew by.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_04: It did.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_04: Anyway, go ahead.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_04: Go ahead.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, it's me.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm doing this one.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, oh, that's okay.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_04: So six.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_04: Joe Biden started this war and Gaza too.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, there you go.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_04: How come Biden didn't stop this war?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_04: Wait.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_04: Uh why don't you go on to the next one, Steve?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_04: Well, you know, some some might say that that's a recipe for disaster, but that's we're fighting the enemy from within, you know?
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's true.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, here's I got another good one here.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_04: This comes up a lot too.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_04: Big issue.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_04: Climate change.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, you would think this one is a challenge and would need something really special.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_04: And so let's see, let's see what he's got here.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_04: So you ask about climate change.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_04: One, it was only 88 today, actually cooler than yesterday.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_04: See?
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_04: It gets colder, and then winter comes.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, see?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_04: Two, space aliens are responsible for hurricanes.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_04: Well, well, yeah.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_04: You're you're welcome.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_04: Three, weather temperatures are fake news.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of times they're not that accurate, you know?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_04: No, no.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_04: So four, it's getting warmer because of all the warm-blooded illegals coming from Mexico.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_04: And it's coalescing.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_04: Five, climate changes when you move from Kansas to Florida.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 17:59
  unknown: Yeah.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_04: Can't argue with that.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_04: Uh six.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_04: I should have won five Emmys for The Apprentice.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there's no question.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I mean, it really doesn't have anything to do with climate change, but you know, you know how these talking points go.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they seem to always end with that.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, something like that.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_03: Something like that.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's three or four of those.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: So those are excellent responses.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_03: Let's move to the next one.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: This one is about voting problems.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_03: This is this is a big issue, you know, because there's what, 30 people who vote illegally every four or five years.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_04: I think, in fact, uh, a conservative think tank, not the heritage, did a study and it's like it's like 30 over the last uh you know, 30 years, 40 years, and it's like millions of tens of millions of votes, hundreds of millions of votes.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, no, it's a big problem.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's a big problem.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: So uh first answer when you when you're confronted with this is uh if I lose the election, there must be widespread fraud, obviously, because I don't lose.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_04: Well, right, yeah.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think we all know that, right?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: We need to pass the Save Act, and then everything will be fine.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think there's any question about it.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_04: Well, that's well, you hear that you hear that a lot, don't you?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: Well, if and if it if it's if it didn't do that, why is it called the SAVE Act?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_04: Right, exactly.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_04: I mean it would be like it's labeled something.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, come on.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_03: Never, no, never.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: Number three, we'll be conducting a 10-year study on voting fraud during which time we will have to suspend voting to get it right.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, just you know, just temporarily till we can figure out what's going on.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_04: Wasn't that what he said about you know borders and all that?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_04: 10 years, just temporary.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: Uh number four.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: I won the 2020 election.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_03: This is another one that kind of pops up every once in a while.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, in a landslide, winning not only all 50 states, but Canada and Mexico too.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_04: Why not embellish it?
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_04: It's like putting Gold Lame on a national landmark.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_04: Why not make it better?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: And speaking of putting lipstick on a pig, the last one is Marjorie Taylor Green is Iranian.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_04: Well, well, then she's not a natural blonde, probably, right?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_04: I would think not.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_04: And don't want to think about that.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_04: But that is that's really amazing.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I I I see another one here that really, really cries out to be read.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_04: It's I don't think he gets asked about this that often, but you gotta be ready.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's if you get asked anything about the Pope or just religion in general.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: Uh well, he's a very religious man.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he drives church all the time.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: All the time?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, upside down.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_04: He can re and he can read it upside down, too.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: Well he's thinking that IQ test, that upside down IQ test.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, he aced it.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_04: He aces it.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_04: Daily IQ test?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, he aces those, yeah.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_04: So what do you got here?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_04: So, yeah.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_04: Number one, the Pope is in Antifa or Black Lives Matter or both.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_04: Two, disappointing.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_04: I am the most powerful man in the history of the world, and if I were to die, I'd come back at least three times.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_04: Although, to be honest, I don't like people who die in the first place.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_04: They aren't real saviors.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_04: I think I've I've heard him say talk about this before.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_04: I prefer people who don't die.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, okay.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_04: Three, Democrats and anyone who disagrees with me are going to hell.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_04: Obviously.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_04: Four, if they had free and fair elections, I'd be the Pope and the President.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_04: And apparently be Prime Minister of Israel, too, from the sounds of it.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: He would.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: He would.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_04: Five, I don't read the Bible, but I know God is very strong and rich, just like me.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: And six, I mean, this really is amazing here.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_04: If I wasn't all powerful, how did I turn that pool green?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_04: That's a good one.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: That's a good one.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_04: You just you don't see other people do that.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know anybody that's ever done that.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_04: I can't think of any other person, let alone a president, that can say they've done that.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sure a lot of work went into that with the king's team, and this just again proves the point that being prepared is important and having the right recipe, if you will, is everything to baking a cake.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: And we all know our king believes in letting the people eat cake.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: And of course, as we discussed earlier, eating cake costs extra.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, absolutely.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_04: So wow.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_04: Now I feel smarter.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I feel like I have a plan of action.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_04: I have a plan of what to say when asked some of these difficult questions.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_04: Because you know, it comes up.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_04: You might be sitting in a diner, you might be sitting in a barber shop, and somebody asks you a difficult question, and it's just good to have these little cards.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: I, you know, maybe maybe there's a plus of doing on the cards.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_04: Uh maybe I'll take a picture of each card and have that on my phone.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_04: So then I'll have the cards, but they won't be cards.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_04: I get it.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_04: I want to think about this a little more.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and I think you're bringing up another point, which is this makes me feel smarter.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_03: Part of it is that he's got these recipes, but for some reason I just feel smarter in general than the creator of this.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, but I don't know.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: That's blasphemy.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to even say that.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_04: Well, but no, not that creator.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_04: You mean the creator of these cards.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, I'm talking about the creator of these cards.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yes, well, and that is blasphemy.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_04: And that's blasphemy too, I guess, right?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that is true.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_04: I think they're gonna kick us out of eccentric Lady Land Studios because they're worried about us getting deported again.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I think Steve be deported.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe next week we can come up with five, a recipe on how not to get kicked out of the studio.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because we seem to be struggling with that.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_03: I think we've had, I don't know, 200 episodes in a row where we've been kicked out.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_04: Where we get kicked out, right?
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_04: You know, it's amazing.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_04: You know, we rent a half hour, and at the end of the half hour, they kick us out.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, that's not fair.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_04: That's it's not fair.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_04: No, I mean, come on, we're still here, right?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, but uh yeah, we got to work on that.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_04: But anyway, Steve and Jeff Schoben, sing us on and out of here.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Stephen just to do it.