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Why Do We Keep Pushing Through What We Already Know Is Too Much? · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

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Welcome to Rise and Realign, conversations for
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the sensitive soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
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is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
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and sense the world in ways that are hard to
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explain, but impossible to ignore. Here, we honor
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your sensitivity as a strength. not something
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to fix. Through reflections, realignment, and
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soul -led stories, we remember how to move through
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life in a way that feels true to who we really
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are. This is your space to rise, to realign,
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and to come home again and again to your own
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wise, sensitive, authentic self. So last week,
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episode 49, why am I so hard on myself, lifting
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the needle off the inner critic, right? It's
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just really repetitive for a lot of people. And
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it's this underlying frequency, right? Whether
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inner critic or fear frequency aligns for you,
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there's many different ways to describe it. But
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sometimes, you know, we just don't even recognize
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the records that are playing because they're
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kind of like this background sound that has just
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seemingly always been there. But often it becomes
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louder. And because it's so frequent, like, it's
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just something we think is, is true. And it's
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us, but it's really not. And it kind of brings
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me into what's been coming up in this last week,
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you know, with the women that I support, but
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also recognizing how it shows up in my experience
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as well, you know, and I really do feel like
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it speaks to specifically highly sensitive women.
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I see highly sensitive women from a very distinct
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perspective. I feel as though it kind of came
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about very organically. I know I've shared that
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I didn't know about the trait when Dr. Elaine
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Aron was first doing the research and her books
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first came out, you know, in the early to mid
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90s. I was still, you know, actually just getting
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my master's degree in social work. And then shortly
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after became a parent, but it really wasn't until
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the early 2000s. So probably like 20 years ago.
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is when I first started exploring, you know,
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the differences. And that was because of one
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of my kids, right? And that's not uncommon, right?
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For women, for moms, we are often seeking more
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guidance and understanding, you know, when someone
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we love, like our child in this situation, right?
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Like has some different presentations or behaviors
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that we just want to make sense of and we want
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to support more fully so it was through understanding
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my children that I came to realize that oh my
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god this describes me and it just made so much
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more sense because of course when I'm first looking
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at it I'm I'm looking through the lens of a parent
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and my child, which are behaviors when we're
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younger, you know, are not the same as when we're
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mature adults, right? But when I came to embrace
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like, oh, my God, this makes so much sense. This
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is why I've always been the way I've been. And,
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you know, this is why, you know, these life transitions
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I'm going through right now are so extremely
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challenging for me and confusing. Right. And
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so I really want to speak to how. Again, we have
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this unique neuroanatomy in just how we process
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information, right? Because as highly sensitive
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individuals, we're literally taking in like roughly
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five times more data, more information, right?
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On a multidimensional level is how I've come
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to understand it personally. And so what this
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depth of processing does for us is it helps us
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like, you know, get clarity on like, well, that
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happened and how can I understand what happened
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so that I can either be more efficient in this
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kind of situation or how I can, you know, just
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handle it differently or, right? Like for me,
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this depth of processing is really why many of
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us are seen as highly intelligent, right? and
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can also relate that to our emotional intelligence
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as well. Not saying that we're all there, and
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certainly can't say that I recognize my own emotional
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intelligence earlier on in my life, but I really
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do want to speak to how the depth of processing
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allows us to really nurture and cultivate a higher
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intelligence and a higher ordering, so to speak.
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So our abilities to plan, to prepave, right?
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To even be more creative, right? Like there's
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so much potential within this depth of processing.
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And it's also very overwhelming. And that's the
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part that I really think is important. to really
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understand because the majority of the women
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that I meet and work with, you know, are coming
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because anxiety has felt like this overwhelming
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presence, right? Or this recurring consistent
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appearance, right? And that is part of, you know,
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when I'm educating about having this high sensitivity
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trait. It's so important to understand because
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If you can understand that you take in more information
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and then you process it more deeply while the
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world is still continuing at their rapid pace,
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right? Because again, 80 % of the population
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do not have the depth that highly sensitive individuals
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do. So they're living their life. They're living
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their path and their unique design in the way
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that works for them. But it doesn't mean that
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we're able to just keep the pace with everybody
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else. And I think that's where a lot of us tend
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to recognize the overwhelm, right? Is because
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we're experiencing everyday things, but we're
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also experiencing the big stressors in life,
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right? Whether that's loss of a loved one, right?
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Whether that's family, friends, pets, right?
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Whether we're navigating moves, right? Moving
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into a new place, out of a place, like all of
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that, these are high stressors, right? Whether
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it's getting married, getting divorced, right?
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whether it's a health challenge, like there are
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a lot of things that we just recognize as these
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are highly stressful for all humans. But when
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you add in the mix that you have a more finely
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tuned central nervous system, right? And so overwhelm
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happens faster. And that just has this whole
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cascade. of issues that then we as the highly
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sensitive individual are left to navigate. And
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when we don't have the language, right, of being
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a highly sensitive individual, you know, we tend
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to hold ourselves to the expectations that we
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see others, you know, so comparison really comes
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in a lot. Well, why is this so hard for me? Right?
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Like, how come they're getting through this faster?
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Those kinds of questions. And really what ends
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up happening to many of us is we can recognize
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that we're overwhelmed. And yet we're still striving,
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right? Like we're still moving in the direction
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of our dreams, of our visions. And it tends to
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bring us to this place of, you know, like we
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are, we're just pushing through. even though
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what we're currently in is already too much,
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right? So this question becomes, why? Why do
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we keep pushing through what we already know
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is too much? And this kind of, you know, again,
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piggybacks on what the last episode... was about,
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which is lifting the needle off the inner critic.
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Because some of it is those old patterns and
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programs, right? They're just still running in
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the background. Because, again, I feel like there's
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so much infrastructure that we don't always understand.
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That's kind of navigating or directing our life.
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And I'm sure this isn't new to any of you listeners,
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but you know, for us to really embrace the concept
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and the ability to be the creator of our own
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lives, like we need to understand how these old
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patterns, right, these old comparisons or these
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expectations that we're going to keep the peace
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with the 80 % of the population who aren't designed
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this way, like that's just not realistic. It's
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not healthy. And our body, And our life will
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start showing us, you know, where there's a breakdown.
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And so that's something that I just feel really
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passionate about raising awareness. Because as
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highly sensitive individuals, we have the capacity
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for higher awareness. And if we are overwhelmed
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and chronically stressed, we can also be the
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least aware. This is, again, why I feel so honored
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and privileged to, you know, have walked this
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career path as a clinical social worker, really
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been in the helping field, I mean, professionally
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at the age of 19. But even when I look back,
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like, I was 12 years old and I was babysitting,
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right? Like just identifying what your strengths
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are is so, so helpful because it is important
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to create the life that supports you and who
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you are and how you're designed to navigate through
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the ups and downs that we all have to navigate
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through, right? Like each and every one of us
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experiences loss on some level. varying degrees,
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right? We all experience stressors, again, just
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different, but it's there for all of us, right?
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Adversity is there. And so, you know, I've come
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to recognize that understanding ourselves and
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how to bring balance into our own life is of
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the utmost importance because You know, if we
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keep pushing through, if we keep putting other
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people's needs before our own, if we keep pushing
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aside the unprocessed experiences, right? Like,
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we may think we're moving forward, but we're
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dragging along a lot of baggage that is just
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tiring out our own system, right? And so I very
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much value my health, my happiness, right? My
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creativity. And I really am here to nurture that
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in others because these old patterns that we've
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all been operating from at different times and
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to different degrees, we don't need to keep carrying
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them forward. And so... really, if you are getting
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signs or signals now or have in the past, and
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you've, and you've, and you keep pushing through,
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you know, I really do invite you to, you know,
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look at your life, look at, you know, is there
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balance for you, right? Like, is there time for
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rest and relaxation and recreation in your life?
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You know, is, is work or, you know, just challenges
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in life taking up way more of your present reality,
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right? Because these are things that we do want
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to continually reflect on and reassess and continually
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realign with what is true and best for you. But
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most of us don't. And that is again, from this
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limited point of view that I'm sharing at this
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moment, that We're trying to keep up with the
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momentum of the collective. And if you can recognize
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that the collective is made out of 80 % of people
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who don't have the same depth of processing,
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the same, you know, reflective nature, you know,
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the same sensory intelligence, right? The same
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finely tuned central nervous system, you know,
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the same, you know, insula activation and higher
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interoceptive awareness, like, there's just so
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much to acknowledge that, you know, you are designed
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differently. And so come back to your own rhythm,
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you know, instead of trying to walk at the pace
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of the majority. It's okay to be different. And
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that's something that I actually I'm grateful
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that I can now honor and appreciate in myself,
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in the women that do come to work with me, you
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know, in my family, my circle of friends. Because,
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gosh, life is just so more vibrant and beautiful
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and varied, you know, when you just honor yourself,
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your own pace, your own rhythm. You know, what
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makes you, you? So, yeah, just tune more into
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you. Pay more attention to you. And, you know,
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that's something that a lot of people, you know,
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just kind of push past, right? I see, you know,
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anxiety. I see, you know, these life transitions
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and you know, these call, the call for change,
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to be, you know, again, about realigning with
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your own relationship with you, how your mind
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operates, what your body's communicating, what
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your heart and soul desire and vision. right
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but oftentimes those old programs you know sometimes
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you know i describe them as they have their own
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engine and they just keep pushing through you
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know just keep plugging along and anybody who
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stays on automatic pilot like sure that's your
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reality i remember that being mine too there's
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nothing wrong with it as long as you know you're
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okay with it But I'm here to speak to those who
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are saying, I'm not okay with it. And I really
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want to understand it. Because, you know, you
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deserve to tap into your innate gifts and talents,
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right? That infinite value that you have, that
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you're here to share. So many gifts and creative
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capacity for highly sensitive individuals to
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tap into. But again, it does require you to pause,
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right? To take a break and breathe love, as I
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call it, more often. You know, it is about putting
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that on your calendar, you know, making that
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the first thing you do when you wake up and the
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last thing you do before you go to sleep, right?
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You, you matter. Your visions, your dreams, you
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know. What's important to you matters. You're
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not here to please everybody else. You're not
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here to make a living for yourself, earn a living.
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You know, those old phrases, they just make me
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cringe. Gosh, there's so much more to each of
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us that we don't realize. And so I do, I really
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want to invite you back home to you. So let's,
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let's take a break and breathe love here. You
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know, let's just have you notice your breath.
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Notice how it's moving right now. And then just
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kind of scan your body from your head to your
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toes. Just notice any tension, any sensations.
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And then just scan again from your feet to the
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top of your head. I've come to recognize that
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take a break and breathe love. It doesn't have
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to be... one certain sequence you know take a
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break and breathe love is about you connecting
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with you connecting with your own inner voice
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inner rhythm your inner relationships so i invite
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you to deepen your inhale now just nice deep
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inhale through your nose and top it off a second
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breath And then a long exhale out your mouth
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and just release, relax, let go of whatever tension
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you may have noticed in your body. And I invite
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you to place one hand on your heart and place
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the other hand anywhere on your body that is
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communicating with you. Then as you breathe in
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that deep breath, just imagine that breath going
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to that. particular place in your body. So take
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a break and breathe. Love is about bringing awareness,
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bringing the breath, bringing love to the parts
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of you that have been waiting for your attention.
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I invite you to continue with that breathing
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rhythm, or if you find that you just want to
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relax, and allow your breath to be slower and
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deeper. Under that too, each breath is beneficial
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at different times for different reasons, but
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I do encourage you to connect with your breath,
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your body, and to be present to what is here
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and true for you right now. And as you're doing
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that, you know, I encourage you to consider like,
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How might you create some space for yourself
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every morning? How can you prioritize your relationship
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with you? You may recall in other episodes, I
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talk about how treating our body as our own best
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friend is really, really a key piece for how
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I've been experiencing this life. again the body
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is communicating and if we ignore it it doesn't
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go away on its own it may move it may develop
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into something else right like we really do need
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to take those breaks to breathe love and connect
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with our body and what's really coming up you
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know and You know, the emotional piece is always
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important to touch on too, because as sensitive
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individuals, you know, that depth of processing
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is also the depth of feeling because it's the
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depth of how much we care. We care about, you
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know, what's going on in our world, what's happening
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in that moment, right? So oftentimes we don't
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really understand why we cry. easily or often,
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you know, we don't all look at the emotional
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release as healthy and healing, right? So I just
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want to remind you that if tears are moving more
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frequently for you, honor that, you know, something
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is coming to the surface because it's ready to
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be released. And that's beautiful. And I do encourage
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you to know your environment. Because not everyone
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has the capacity to hold you as you process those
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big feelings and big reflections. So if you don't
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have someone already in your life who can be
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supportive as you let those tears flow, please
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know that there are others out there, right?
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professionals like myself but other support groups
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like definitely find the place for you because
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your emotions are so key emotion is energy in
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motion and we want to allow it to flow we don't
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want to keep suppressing If we've suppressed,
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you know, in the past, because that's what we
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needed to survive to keep ourselves safe, right?
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Like, that's something to acknowledge and accept,
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right? We've all had to do that at different
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times. But the knowing that you deserve to be
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held in a space that's safe, you deserve to be
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able to feel those feelings and let that energy
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move, you know? So If you do feel like you want
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to walk this path with me, you can continue listening
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here. I do publish each Wednesday unless my own
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life directs me elsewhere on a Wednesday. You
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can follow me or find, you know, me and my contact
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information on realignwithmelissa .com. If you
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are a woman in Massachusetts, California, or
25:18
Arizona. I do offer the Embodied Somatic Therapy
25:22
Intensive, a full day container that does allow
25:26
your nervous system the time and space needed
25:28
to process the depth of your journey. And I also
25:32
have the ongoing individual and group holistic
25:37
psychotherapy offerings. If you're looking more
25:41
at wanting to understand your body's communication,
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I also offer that integrative health clarity
25:47
consulting. And then if you're somebody who's
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really liking the more bridge work that I do
25:54
as a spiral guide for sensitive women, connecting
25:58
with their own inner rhythm. There's always the
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Realign Circle for women in their 20s, my Seasonal
26:06
Threshold Gathering, Sensitivity Realignment
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Spiral, and I have other global offerings as
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well. But every path begins at realignwithmelissa
26:15
.com. So before we close, I invite you to continue
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to return to your breath, to your body. to what
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feels true and correct for you right now. There's
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nothing you need to fix. Just notice what's here.
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Where the heart leads, the body remembers, and
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the soul awakens. As a reminder, we are here
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together to rise, reclaim, remember. And as always,
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I am so super grateful that you're here and I
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want you to keep hearing it. You are so important.
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Your voice matters. Your presence matters. You
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know, your innate gifts and talents are so, so
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needed and appreciated. So keep shining your
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bright light. Take good care of you. Much love
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and light.