Latest / Pod Therapy / #362: Sex in Mental Health, Pregnancy Stigma, Loneliness

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#362: Sex in Mental Health, Pregnancy Stigma, Loneliness · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: But there's a reason they don't hire bands to play
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: in venues from you know, ten am to one pm.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, exactly. Though I enjoy a good you know
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: impersonator show. I'll enjoy that. Come one over the Omelet.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm looking for.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Business, you the good idea.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: This episode is made possible for our fity, the Lord himself,
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: Jim's Pasha.
• 0:30
  Speaker 5: And our therapy partners Dirty.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: B and Pickets from Fabulous Las Vegas.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: And out of this is pod Therapy, Real people, real problems,
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: and real therapists. You can submit your questions anonymously at
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: pod therapy not Net or email us at pod Therapy
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: Guys at email dot com. And now broadcasting from the Churn.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: That's Jim. That's Whittey. I nicked. It's time for some
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: pot therapy. Oh we are in December, hose hope, Oh shit,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the December episodes. So much going on. First off,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: if you'd like to send us a holiday card, we
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: would love that. We're really into your holiday cards. We
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: have a lot of long term patrons. We look forward
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: to their holiday cards every year. Always look forward to
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  Speaker 2: robing Kate their Their holiday card is coming in the mail.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: We always are waiting with baited breath. You can find
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: our address, fuck it, I don't know somewhere. I think
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: it's on the website. I know it's on the disc
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: doing great, Thanks Bud. I could just say it if
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: you'd like me to just say that, Yeah, do that.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can send it to pod Therapy, care of
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Jacob Smith four to two six two Blue Diamond Road
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Sweet one zero two Dash three one eight, Las Vegas,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Nevada eight nine one three nine. Again, if you'd like
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: to hear that address, rewind your podcast device about ten seconds.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is twenty twenty four. But and if you.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: Happen to be in Vegas, that's Jim's home address. Yeah,
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: see swing on and swing on.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: All mail to Jim's house has to be done any
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: care of me, Yes, as all my mail is.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just in case, so definitely send us those holiday
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: cards because we are in the thick of it. We
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: love that kind of stuff and other interesting news. I
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: am again the reigning best of Las Vegas Therapist. Thank
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: you everybody who voted for me and made this possible. Yes,
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: sexual sounds, that's what this is.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Why are they sexual?
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Why can't they be? I think it always is. It
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: doesn't say what number one, it's always so thank you,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Thank you to all of you, especially the patron community,
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: because I know I.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Would be the best therapist Vegas.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I don't win for my abilities. I win
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: for what I do between the sheets, between the walls.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: To mental health.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Joke. Dimn It's gonna be a good night. Thank you everybody.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: But speaking of Jacob, who we have now referenced several times,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: it's time. Uh. The end of the year is fast approaching,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: and as promised, a tournament is in the works. Are
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: hard at work for the title fight. They have decided
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: it's going to be called the title fight. It's the
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: fight to win back my doctorate. So the trivia challenge
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: is being developed right now, Jacob deal, what is the
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: pudding fight?
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't agree to any quiz ship.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you're right. You're right.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: We're filing out putting boxing.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Guys. We don't have the budget. I think we have
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: the budget for people coming up with the free trivia.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know if we have the budget.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: For putting boxes and yeah, yeah.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Give the address again boxes Jacob care pot therapy, Yeah,
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: we need those as fast as possible.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: Loser also has to pay for the pudding.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: So that is going to be part of our season
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: finale coming up here at the end of December as
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: we wrap up season seven.
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: Doing that, you get to keep the title. That's how
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: you got to defend it. Keep the title right now,
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: defend the belt. Look at me currently, Yeah, the belt.
• 4:05
  Speaker 6: You got to defend it. But I think it's WWE rules.
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: So there's a whole committee that's been organized.
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: I'll tell you the way that I will do this.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: You gotta put some skin on the game.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Huh job, but lose the masters.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, I know, go ahead, go ahead,
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: tell him the best of Las Vegas.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: All right, all right, there are two things nobody asked you,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: dumb ass, and I'm going to need the real framed PhD.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I got to bring it in. I
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: think if we're doing this, we got to really bring
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: it in. Yeah, and that's got to be part of this.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: But I think you gotta put up the So there's
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: a committee that's been formed on discord. There's a whole
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: channel for this now where they are actively organizing this.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: They're also designing the rules, and so there is discussion.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I've I'm not part of this, so I've only heard
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: or should you be? I should not be. But there's
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: discussion that it will be similar to the w w E,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: where basically it's like a cage match, but like anybody
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: could walk out with the belt. So it could be
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: one of these things where it starts with Jacob and
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: I but God only knows who ends up with this.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, could use peace.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Why not just throw that.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Ship and then put it on her private practice. That
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: would be the I mean saying it in there and
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: never explain it genuine use for this steak. He was
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: asking tape your name on the.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Front of tapes in the corner.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, anyway, it's gonna be a fun December, so hang
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: out with us. It's gonna be say, it would be
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: a December to remember you know, I don't know. This
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: would be the bit. I don't know if you knew.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: This, it's going to be Christmas.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Just keep doing this for seven months. This will be fun. Anyway,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: We got some great questions for today's show. If you
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: want to enjoy our hangout, come over to patreon dot
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: com slash therapy. You get to know us a little
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: bit more. On a more human level. You can hear
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Nick's tale of Woe Whoa, where Nick was stabbed in
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: the back by a fellow therapist in a delightful way
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: that I one hundred percent approve.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And that the rest of us derailed his story in
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: a way that frustrated him even more.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Of course, that's what we do. Nobody ever gets that's
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: just the deal here. Anyway, We've got some great questions today,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: and we're leading off with how necessary is sex to
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: mental health? And here's the question. It's a short one.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: I'm as cis male that does not or that does
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  Speaker 2: like women, but I have never had sex before. I'm
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: middle aged at this point and have much less drive
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  Speaker 2: to seek it. However, I do often wonder am I
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: mentally unhealthy because I lack sex in my life? Is
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: that something to seek therapy for? Everyone seems so driven
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: by it, and I think there must be something with
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: me to have it just kind of be so meh.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Thanks guys anonymous.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: This is why I genuinely wish that sex work and
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: specifically prostitution were legal and not stigmatized. Okay, like this
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: would be perfect, like if like a take away all
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: that stigma and everything and like, yeah, like I wanna
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I want to.
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  Speaker 5: I want to have sex for the first time with
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  Speaker 5: a human being.
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  Speaker 2: I want to try this.
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  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily want to foster a relationship to to
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: get there.
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  Speaker 2: I don't want anyone to be injured or anything like that.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let me go, uh do this with somebody who
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  Speaker 1: is willing to to take some money and like we'll
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  Speaker 1: have a good time.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Also, you know what quick plug for Nevada because it
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  Speaker 2: is legal yeah in Perump in parts of Yeah, we
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: have specific parts. Carson City, our capital, and Perump are
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  Speaker 2: the two places I'm aware based off the county size.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, there are other counties where it's legal as well.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, so the county is over so many in population
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  Speaker 2: that it's you can't do it. Oh if Prump gets
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: too big, they're out. Yeah, I think so that's just
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: how the law is written. Wow. Okay, so it's not
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: legal improper Las Vegas. But you will see flyers. Yeah,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: you'll you'll see lots of advertisements and do what you
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: want consenting adults. But yeah, if you ever wanted to,
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: you come down to perumpt which is about forty minutes
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: north of Las Vegas. We have world class brothels there.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I'm an investor. I consider myself a state yeah investing. Yeah,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: a couple of times.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: You don't want prompt much, then I won't. It won't
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  Speaker 3: be legal there.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: So watch out that everything's cool, everybody's clean, enjoy yourself.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: I feel like i've I have kind of heard about this,
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: where you know, the longer you've gone without having sex,
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  Speaker 3: the less there is a desire to seek it out.
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  Speaker 3: Part of it being like you don't really know exactly
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: what you're missing, I think as part of that. And
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: then I also and this is just from like all
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: different sources. This is not like science or anything, but
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: you know, Reddit or some shit. But basically it's kind
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: of like it just seems like a lot of work
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  Speaker 3: and effort and overwhelming and by the.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Time you're like zero, yeah get it going partner.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: In middle age, like in your thirties or forties, Yeah,
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: and you're trying, You're saying, is this worth it? I
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: think your brain is in a different stage than when
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: you're in your teens and twenties, where.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, especially if you're having a pretty pretty happy life.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Well, statistically, it's interesting because I don't know if we've
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: ever talked about in the show. I feel like Nick
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: and I have talked about it at bar once, but
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: there's some Yeah, we talk about sex work up and
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: finished that twelve. It's mad lips. It's whatever you think
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: it is there it is, thank you Nick or Jacim.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: So we've talked about this some boy. But there's been
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: some fascinating statistics about how sex rates have actually dropped, Yes,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: and so like one.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Third young people are having less sex, Yes, much less.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: It's like one third of adults under the age of
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: thirty have never had sex and like two or like
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: another third have had sex less than x number of
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: times in a year. And these rates are insanely lower
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: than any other time since they've been keeping the data.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: So like adults are having less sex. Ever, like sex
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: is less important than ever. And there's all these hypotheses
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: for that, right, like the preparation of pornography and like
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: digital relationships, and Yeah.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: The potential explanation I've heard for that in the past
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: is people are just more honest now about not having sex. Oh,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: that could be part of it, too, Like running theory
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: is like maybe that number isn't quite askewed as much.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: It's always been that way. We're just finally saying that, yeah,
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: because we did whatever. You know, it is something to
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: be honest about. Yeah. It's interesting because, like I think
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: the couple's work and Whitney, I'm interested in what your
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: experience has been on this. In couples work, one of
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: the things I'll often try to get a conversation around
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: is this idea of like, what what are each of
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: your needs in the relationship? Right, And like that word
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: does a lot of lifting, but it usually communicates this
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: idea of like, I want each of you to be heard.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: I want your asks to be validated. I don't want
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: it to be seen as trivial. I don't want it
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: to be seen as something that's like, well, you could
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: take it or leave it. And so we use that
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: word need, and then we have a long list of
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: suggestions that people might draw from. Right. They might say, hey,
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I need more affection from you, or I need more
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: communication honesty from you, or recreational companionship or financial support
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: or any number of things right, and sexual fulfillments on there.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: But it's interesting because I think a lot of people
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: do naturally assume that sexual connection at all is a
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: psychological need and if you go back to like deep
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: psychology and the history of psychology, you talk about Freud
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: and stuff like that, Like that was Freud was that
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: was the hypothesis, right, His starter bid for a discussion
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: about what drives humans was it's gonna be sex. And
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: then everybody else had to argue away from Freud and say,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: maybe it's not sex, maybe it's this, But that has
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: always been the drive, like the baseline bid for what
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: it is. And so it's interesting, like the writer's question
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: presumes so much about the emphasis that all of psychotherapy
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: puts on sex, especially couples work, And I understand where
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: they're coming from, because, like I feel like it is
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: in psychological history, and I feel like it comes up
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: a lot in couples work. And I'm curious, like what
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: your view is on that, Like if couples ask you, like, hey,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: is sex part of like a balanced mental health diet?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Is it a requirement or is it an option? Is
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: this an elective or is this core curriculum here for
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: psychological health?
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Well, I think what you were sort of touching on
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: just a moment ago was that it really depends on
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: the person. So, for example, I honestly do not work
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: with couples.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, so good for you.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like that's the whole thing. And yeah,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I would just like, I.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Know, because straight front, stop lying to me, tell me
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: the truth.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: If you want me the therapyse you divorce first.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Repair.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: But I'm working with client. I mean, that topic has
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: brought up a lot. It just came up last week
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: in one of my sessions where the person I'm meeting
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: with is not getting their sexual needs met and their
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: partner it's like died off over years and so they're stuck.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: It's like, what do we do because my need is
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: this and I've like done all the things I've talked
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: to them, they've acknowledged like okay, I'll try and do better,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: and then nothing happens. So that's really tough because really
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: when we're working with couples, it is both parties have
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: to participate ody right exactly. But I think it also
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: is really cultural too, obviously, like every there's rom coms,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: you know, all these TV shows. I mean, is there
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: is there even hardly such a thing as a movie
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: or a TV show that doesn't involve some aspect.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Of sexuality hint or yeah, hint of it.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Desire toward it. I mean, I know movies exist out
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: there like that, but it's so such a small category,
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: so many just touch on that subject, and so it
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: normalizes it in a way that's like it's expected that
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: you are desiring this too, and if you're not, you're
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: the weirdo, right, But that's not.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Which I mean quick PSA. You know, I think that
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: we've had folks in the past right in and we've
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: got members of our community that have shared a little
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: bit about their truth. But you know, a demographic that
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: doesn't get enough attention is folks that identify as a sexual. Yeah,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: And you know it's difficult for them because I think that,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: like you just mentioned the preponderance of narratives in our
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: society and even the the prespositions of this question, and
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: as I've alluded to the presuppositions of most psychology is
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: that you are only a well balanced, healthy human being
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: if you have some sort of healthy sex drive that
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: you found a matching partner to. And so for the
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: asexual community, that's always been really difficult to sort of
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: be castigated as like oh shit, like, oh.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: What's wrong with you're not having sex? And then they
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: don't I just don't like it must be something Oh yeah, no,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: I just don't dig it.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Oh so like something broken in your brain, Like this
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: is like it's it's a very difficult thing. But I
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: think they also are a living example of why we
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: can also appreciate that perhaps sexuality is not as much
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: of a cornerstone of like all mental health as perhaps
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: we think. But I don't know. I mean, it's it's
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: a huge debate. I mean, you go back to psychological history,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: go back in the first experiments of psychohistory. A lot
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: of people, you know, talking about sexuality as a drive
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: from the very very beginning. And you know, Nick is
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: the writers, you know, kind of like pitching this here
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: and saying, look, I've not had a lot of sex,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: and I'm worried. Does that make me a broken person?
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: De facto? I mean, you're a forty something year old virgin.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: How do you feel about that? I set you up? Yeah,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: I know. I was like, he's pointing at me.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I don't know why he's talking about it.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: I get we get questions like this often not necessarily
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: just about sex, but just about mental health in general.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: Like like people are saying a lack of X, Y
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: or Z causes depression, anxiety, or just being unhappy. I
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: don't have these things. Am I unhappy? As opposed to
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: looking at the end result? Are you happy?
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Right? Yeah? Start? YEA Subjectively I'm happy? Okay? Cool? Yeah?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Then then what's not? Yeah? Then I think we're done. Yeah.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: I think that's the end of the conversation. I mean,
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: you know, if if you just have a low sex
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: drive but you're happy with where you're at, fine, great,
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: you know I don't. And the writer is single, you know,
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: so it's not like they're in a relationship with another
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: person who's also affected by this, right, you know, I
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: think you know, if you're fine with where you're at,
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not this
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: is mentally unhealthy or mentally healthy. It seems like you're
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: doing fine.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, No, you nailed it. I think that any time,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: and I'm sure that this is true for you as well, Whitney. Like,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: if somebody comes in and asks that classic question of
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: like is this healthy that I do this or don't
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: do this or don't have this or have this in
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: my life? I think that we always kind of take
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: a step back from whatever you think you've read, like
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: on the internet or like in the latest poll. Let's
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: back up and let's just talk about you. Are you happy? Yeah?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: And that's everything. Like somebody says, Oh, is it wrong
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: that I don't go out this often with my friends?
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Is it weird that I don't have this many close friends?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Is it weird that I'm not dating? Is it is
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: whatever it is? Is it weird that I'm not close
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: to my parent? Is it weird that I'm not you know,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: friends with my siblings? Whatever the question is. I think
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: we're always, like you said, Nick, into the subjective, Yeah,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: what is your truth?
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: That's normal? Yeah, quote unquote normal right?
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: What is your normal? Right? And I love that writer,
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: and so that that would be you know, I think
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: a consensus point here is that if you are comfortable
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: and you're looking around saying, look on my adult life
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: has been going great. I enjoy my friendships, I enjoy
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: my relationships. I don't find that this is something I
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: yearn for. I don't find this is something that I
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: am looking for. I have some curiosity about it, fine,
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: but that's passive. It's not something that's driving me or
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: I feel like I have a deficit in But I'm
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: just curious. Is there some sort of like objective mental
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: health deficit. No, I think we're all in agreement. There's not.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: I don't see that, not at all. Just as if
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: the absence of any other relationship. If you're like, hey,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: I've never really had a strong grandparent relationship, right, do
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I have a mental health deficit? Other people talk about
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: having great third dimensional or third generational contact. Do I
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: have a deficit? No? Not. No. For for some people,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: it's great, that's necessary for them, they sing its praises.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: For you, it's not.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, and using that as an example, for
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: somebody that has a grandparent and had a terrible relationship
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: with that grandparent and is still struggling with it today,
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: then you know, for that person, that reality is Yeah,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: having that relationship would have been important or may have
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: had it been impactful, But you know, but that's that
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: person's reality. Isn't necessarily your reality.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the absence of a thing, right, you don't You
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: don't know, oh, because you don't have any data pro
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: or con against it. A lot of people have had
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: horrible sex lives and horrible sexual experiences, and sex is
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: one of the most traumatic parts of their existence and
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: deeply uncomfortable and a source of all sorts of interesting complexities.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: They would be grateful to have had a story like
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: yours where just sex never mattered, and they could have
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: just had all these friendships and family life and all
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: these jobs and it just never mattered. So right, there's
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: nothing like, objectively, you know, alarm belly about that. There's
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: nothing about that. I think that the three of us
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: here that we think you know something's wrong. You need
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: to objectively just go have sex for the sake of
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: having sex. It just doesn't matter at the end of
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: the day, as Nick said, it just comes down to
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: your subjective truth. And if you report I am doing well,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I am well adjusted. I'm curious about this, but otherwise
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I'm doing fine. Great, then we just want to meet
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: you where you're at and keep running forward. So nothing
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: about that is alarming. All right, We're gonna take a
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: quick break in when we come back, we're talking about women,
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: am I rights? You're Liza Therapy shut up when nobody
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: asked up.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: By Sminny scoof Mason Miller, Test Miller Piler, Team Paris,
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: Team Monico, Oscar Swanrose, Hannah Marie, Emma Kane, and Myra.
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: And if you would like to hear this episode uncut
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: and unedited, that's at the end.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Of the show.
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: But if you would like to spiles to the show,
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: you should become a therap producer at patreon dot com
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: slash therapy.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: No one even knows you're doing great, but you're yeah,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: so talented.
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: Okay, we got some trivia. Yeah, going back to uh,
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: some stuff from Emma. We gotta we gotta wrap up
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: this mental health in the Animal Kingdom one.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we got three questions left on this one. Okay,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: here we go. Is this a buzz in thing? What
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: is this? This is Uh, this is gonna be a
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: multiple choice, all right? Do we go blind for two?
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Uh?
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Sure, okay, I like it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: You get to pick out for two points.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: We make him picking the starter like in the office,
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: or you want to do it that way, whatever, you're
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: the boss's Jim. Here you go. I like it.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: Jim's question which aquatic creatures can become depressed in captivity
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: refusing to eat and exhibiting whitney behavior similar to clinical depression.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Give me away, I guess.
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: Also not a whale?
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: Oh related to a dolphin?
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: It goes to Whitney, right, it goes to Whitney. Would
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: you like multiple choice? Yes, clownfish, sea turtles, jellyfish or
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: beta fish.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: Don't pick beta beta cuckfish.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: Okay is that your final answer?
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: You didn't give me that. You didn't give me.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: A foreboding tone turtles answer.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Wrong, clownfish? No, can beta fish rebound? Come on?
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: I think loses two points.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: This game.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: Tell you what, I'll give you a hundred points right now?
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: Okay for the best of Las Vegas. Oh, just trade
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: hundred points. I need to keep that thousand thousand points ship.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: Wait do they are they extendable? I use them forwardly
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: into all the games this show.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Honestly, if you would honor that, that pretty significant. I
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: would like strongly consider it if every game we ever
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: played you weren't allowed to inflate the points, and like
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: I was just able to win, you announced I am
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: the winner every single time.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Everyone who wonders if these games matter to Jim, I
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: mean I.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't take it. Hot Therapy season eight. I'm the winner. No, no, no, no,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: but I'll give you a thousand points start oh into
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: season eight? You're not gonna up the math? No?
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: Yes, you will.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: That's why I won't do it. I'm an eagle scout.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I don't. I'll give you that is true, is true?
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: You give me, You give me twenty twenty four's Best
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: of Las Vegas. Yeah, and I'll give you a thousand points.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: I gotta give you the trophy. If I give you
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: the trophy to hold.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: On to and you take all of the evidence of
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: you winning it off of all of your social yes
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: and websites.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, sorry, now we're now we're getting into my actual livelihood.
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: A thousand do you think?
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: Do you think somebody's gonna find your website and see
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: the one.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: The fifth and they're gonna wonder? I wonder who won?
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: And know anymore? Joe, I know you better than anybody
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: in this room. And I swear to God, I didn't
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: know that you hadn't.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Time all of them. I didn't know you had them.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I also didn't know that. But nobody's surprised by a
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: thousand points. I will think about it, okay, all I
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: will continue to content.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: In the meantime. Negative two for Jim Fuck is that
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: the only question for this round? Sure? All right? He
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: said there's three there is to this round, And now
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: let's just just do one around. Okay, next question women?
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Am I right? I'm so excited. Hey y'all, I'm a
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: twenty five year old female and currently is that your
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: twenty five year old female voice? Yeah, hey y'all. Yeah. Also,
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I'm already pissed off about this question in energy and uh,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: you know, fuck you writer, I'm already upset. All right,
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Hey y'all, I'm a twenty five year old female and
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: am currently pregnant. I've heard lots of stories of pregnant
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: women having intense emotions about situations that they later find laughable.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: For example, I've had several friends say they had a
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: tearful meltdown because they had a specific craving that I
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: couldn't get in the middle of the night, or maybe
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: their partner ate something that they were planning on eating.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: God fucking this is all truth. Okay, I'm gonna tell
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: you right, every single word this is true. I've had
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: my occasional moments of tears. Feels that all the time
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: I'm still upset about. Don't even get me started. I
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: have a list. I've had occasional moments of tears and anxieties,
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: but I feel that they're genuine concerns, yet other people
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: don't seem to be taking them seriously. I'll try talking
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: to my husband or to friends about things that I'm
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: sad or worried about, and I feel like, just because
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I'm pregnant, it's always met with ha oh boy. Hormones
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: can be pretty crazy when you're pregnant, and I don't
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: feel like I can actually address my concerns. To give
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: some examples, I've tried talking about my fears of loneliness
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: during postpartum, concerns about being on the same page as
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: my husband and parenting, and current family drama. Since people
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: seem to respond by saying my feelings are just a
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: product of crazy pregnancy hormones. Now, when I feel sad
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: or ancient, I find myself essentially saying to myself, well,
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: I'm probably just feeling this way because of hormones, so
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: it's probably not a big deal, and then I just
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: don't deal with whatever I'm feeling. My question would be,
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: how can I tell if my feelings are valid or
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: possibly just overreacting because of hormones. Does it matter? How
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: do I address my emotions, whether my emotions are valid
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: or even with or even when I am maybe overreacting,
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: thinks Anonymous pregnant.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Chick Anonymous, I think that that is a great letter,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: and it has inspired me to tell a story.
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: Years ago.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I was working a show and my assistant somebody, somebody
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: else in the company was was pregnant at the time.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I do pay a monthly some apparently because
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I am generous.
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: Apparently disagreed.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Apparently this pregnant woman and my assistant had a conversation
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: that went a little sour, and I didn't know anything
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: about this. I get a phone call on my cell
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: phone says, hey, could you come back to the Big
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Boss's office.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Well that's that's weird or whatever we have to talk about.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: And like, I'm as I'm walking back there, because the
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: only thing I ever talked to the Big Boss about
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, other events coming into our showroom that
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: we might have to cooperate with, you know, like other
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: kind of like macro things, big project type things. And
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: I get in there and my assistant is there, and
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: my pregnant colleague was in there as well, and the
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Big Boss was there, and an HR person was there,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: and there.
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: Was like a room fill of people.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Oh. I was like, and I walked in.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Immediately, of course, I went I'm getting fired for some
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: reason that I cannot think of.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: I'm being canceled, and it's valid. I don't know what
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: has happened, but it looks like I'm coming up on
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: the short end of I'm sorry, like goodbye for your
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: old pal, Jacob.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I've prepared a speech for today, and the big boss
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: asked me to sit down, and apparently the proceeds to
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: tell me that apparently my assistant had been had had
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: a disagreement with our colleague who was pregnant at the time,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: and said, the only reason you think that is because
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: you're pregnant and your hormones are going crazy. We go
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: and I looked at my assistant and said, did you
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: say that?
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: But he said.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, but it's true of your mouth.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: What are you doing here?
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: And I was like, I I guess I just have
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: to sit down.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: I've changed my mind. I'm I'm sorry. I don't think
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: it's because you're pregnant. I think it's because you're a
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: silly woman.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Because you're smaller, at which point I was like, go
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: back to just maybe firing me.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I have to stay for this meeting. I could leave.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: What I would like to.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Can we come to that allows me to leave this
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: room in the next ten seconds?
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: How did that meeting go? Did the resolve it poorly?
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: You don't, I mean the person who can double down?
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but poorly. It turns out air, but his heels
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: were dug in.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: My god, oh my goodness. That is such a hard balance. Yes,
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: poor poor writer.
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: The examples that she gave sound like legit concerns.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: What I was going to start, like, Oh, I'm worried
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: are we going to parent the same.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: That are scared about being lonely after we I have
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: this baby, I've been carrying a human with me this
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: whole time.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: That for a potential postpartum depression. So all of these
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: things sound like very valid.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: And silly hormonal. Then you don't get it.
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: Can we also address the point to that hypothetically, even
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: if it is the cause of hormones, it's not any
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: less real.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's where I was gonna go. That's exactly where
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: it's gonna go. It's like, like, oh.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Gosh, that's the safest thing I feel like I can
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: say on this one.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: So yeah, let me.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Rest he's taking the lap there, waving at the trip
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: trotting the bases. No big deal, everybody gets two free tacos.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Trip boy, well done. He's out face back to the dugout.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: He's sitting down.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: I am, I'm gonna I'm gonna say this carefully and
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: let me talk it through because I know I'm we're.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Gonna pounce on you if you're even slightly there.
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: It is, get it, Seconal, I have music.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: Talk about the hormones, because I was going to say
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: it reminds me of toddlers.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, toddlers wait to wait for the music discussion.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not choice.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Choice, yeah, no, excellent, excellent foresight.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: So with toddlers, like when we've learned through.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Your father's in there, it is, where's the drops? Where's
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: the bader jaw?
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: You know what?
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: I'm sick of this unequal treatment. It's ridiculous.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: The baider drop sounds like a ride at the worst
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: county fair you've ever been to a your life.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: Tried.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: He's like, I'm gonna try.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: If I go to a county fair and I'll see
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: the thing got the batter drop.
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: I am inline.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: This Saturday. Come on down to the Wyoming Stay Fair.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: You got the world famous Bader drop Baier hardly go
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: on you were saying about toddlers.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: So it's what we've learned is that instead of just
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: telling toddlers to stop stop doing the thing they're doing,
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: stop having your tantrum or crying or or whatever whining,
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: it's let's meet them where they're at, because their feelings
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: are real. It seems maybe absurd to you as an
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: adult the toddler's having the feeling, but those are real feelings,
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: like Nick was saying, And so I'm definitely not calling
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: you a toddler writer.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: Ignant women everywhere toddlers.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: No, The real point I was going to get at
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: is that all of your concerns are valid. I think
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: when there are a lot of hormones running through our bodies,
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: we react differently at times. So that is kind of
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: like the balance. And I know you didn't really share
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: how you're reacting when you're feeling a certain type of way,
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: But having been around a friend who was pregnant all
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: last year, there were moments where her reaction to things
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: were just a little bit bigger, sure, and it would
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: like cause other issues in other areas with her kids
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: or things like that, and that was a problem too,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: because her teenagers would be like, well, you're pregnant, that's
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: your hormones, and that doesn't really help when you're already.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Oh in that case, I'll just go to my So, Yes,
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: that is very real feeling that kind of resentment or
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: animosity towards somebody for just discounting your feelings or discounting
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: what you're going through saying it's just hormones, because yeah,
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: they are real feelings. And when you ask what do
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: I do about that? I think one I would definitely
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: sit down with your husband, because you included him in there,
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: at least with him at the very least, and just say, hey,
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: this is what I'm hearing, and that's not helping me
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: right now. My feelings are real and valid. Maybe they
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: don't seem that way to you, And fine, I'm not
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: going to argue I'm right or you're right, whatever, but
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: I need you to acknowledge that whatever I'm feeling is
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: real and just let me it.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: With that, yeah, or meet me in this this thought, right,
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: because I need you to respond, not discount that.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, I need you to not discount it, and
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: that I think it's a good start. And then for yourself,
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: just yeah, allowing yourself to even if you're questioning, is
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: this absurd? Maybe it is. But I'm just gonna sit
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: here and do I done that. Like I know, I've
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: had overreactions and I was like, I'm just gonna sit
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: here and be crazy things that we know.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: We're ridiculous when we do though, everyone's and we're just
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: still gonna do it.
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone's emotional reaction is ridiculous to somebody else exactly.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Like there's every year around well, coming up this time
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: of year, when someone's NFL team doesn't make the there's
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: gonna be a ton of videos online with people throwing
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: their TVs out windows like that.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: It's like a ridiculous It's like, oh, yeah, you've never said,
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: oh my god, people are throwing Yeah. I mean it's
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: almost always cowboys fans. Yeah they've been out for a while.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: They know, yeah they know. But no, that's absolutely true
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: that contextually, there's always something tell people tell people cow people,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: the cow peoples are losers, and they know they're losers.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: Know that's that's I don't care what you'll say.
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: I really like count people.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: Good for them. We like all the cowt peoples, all
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: the people come to Vegas, bring your money, the Dallas
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: cow people. It's just really please do that. How do
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: we get a petition going that could be? Like?
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: That could be the cheerleaders.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Obviously we don't give a ship, but I'll bet you
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: we can get enough people to think, give a ship
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: and take it on as a cause.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: That count People's cheerleaders.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, I want to see the Dallas count people's. Oh,
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: and make it plural.
• 35:52
  Speaker 5: I want that too. Just all the count people's.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: All the count people's count peoples of the world, count
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: person the hard Jerry Jones, We're tired of me in tonight. No.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: But like on this point, I think that there's a
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: couple of different interesting sides of this. On one hand,
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: there is something to be said for a temporary season
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: of your life which is significantly biologically impacting. And I
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: think it is fair to admit I am experiencing meaningful
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: standard deviations from the norm. My norm is X, and
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: I am experiencing deviations from that norm where I am
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: more anxious or perhaps more sensitive to loneliness or to
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: emotional stip life. Yeah, sure, there you go. I wasn't
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: gonna say it. I was going to, but he didn't
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: come out of the dugout.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: And just throw himself back on the field.
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: He just didn't do it.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: So yeah, sure, like there are yeah staying out but yeah, no,
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: I agree, I'm still good. So like, yeah, no, from
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: that perspective, I look at that and I think, yeah,
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: there are these like predictable hormonal fluctuations, whether it's pregnancy,
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: whether it's the mental cycle.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: Whether it's all times.
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Of year, seasonal depression. So and I want to acknowledge
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: that two things can be true at the same time.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: On one hand, this is a significant deviation from my
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: personal baseline, and people that are in my life who
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: know my baseline are remarking that this is a deviation
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: from that baseline, right, and so they're quickly contextualizing that
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: that's causing them to be dismissive. They are probably not
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: trying to be mean. Most people are not trying to
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: be mean to a pregnant woman because it's a bad
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: idea hilarious. Oh, when you're going out of your way
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: to provoke it, that's always great. But yeah, I think
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: that there's this sense of like, I just want to
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: reassure you by telling you, Hey, that thing you're scared of.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: I think that uh, you know, nine out of ten
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: other versions of you would not be scared of that.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: And that's what I'm trying to communicate. So I think
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: that can simultaneously be true with the second thing, which
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: is the thing I think we're all in agreement on,
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: which is that kind of regardless whatever your current facing
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: reality is, that is meaningful and that is your personal
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: truth right now, and so regardless if you look at
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: it and think, gosh, I think that this is probably
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: contextual to what I'm going through biologically right now in
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: my life. Fine, I'll bet you. There's other kinds of
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: anxiety that happen when you're engaged and only happen when
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: you're engaged. There's other kinds of anxiety that happen only
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: when you have an infant, only whenever you're single, only
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: whenever you're you know, a grandparent. Because there's a common
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: term for one, there's angry. Yeah, there you go. Yeah,
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: there's a type of mood that sets in, you know,
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: whenever you're in certain context or you're overtired or whatever.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: And like, I think there is an important discussional balance
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: between giving that a lot of authority and making life
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: choices based on it, which a therapist would probably pull
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: you away from, because we know this is standard deviation
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: and we don't want that to be some that you
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: make big choices on. If there's ten of you, I
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: don't want nine of you living with the choice that
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: one of you would make. Yeah, right, I want to
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: get to the average, and so we're going to slow
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: you down on that. But at the same time, we
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: know that that's not how you solve it. You don't
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: solve it by discounting it. You solve it by meeting
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: somebody in it and talking their way through it and saying, hey,
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: give me more context than us asking probing questions. So
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: I think that we're all in agreement on that. Yeah, yeah,
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: that's a real thing.
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: I was going to just point out too really quick
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: that I have had at least a couple of clients
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: in the past that would come to me while they're pregnant,
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: trying to be preemptive on dealing with like postpartum depression
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: and things like that. So I heard you mention that
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: some of your fears about loneliness and postpartum and maybe
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: dealing with some of those emotions, not even to say, oh,
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: you need to go see a therapist because you're overreacting now,
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: but more like, hey, I just want to build rapport
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: with somebody before I'm like in the thing, right, Like I've.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Had people that makes sense. Preemptive therapy be because they
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: know that this could be weird later on, and they
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: want me to know them now in month six or
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: seventh of pregnancy, right, and they feel more themselves, and
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: then later on they're going to be in all different
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: state of mind. They're just in case. That's absolutely thing.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: And we talk about some of those same things, like
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: when Klient in particular, we talked about how even though
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: they maybe didn't deal with what we typically see as
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: postpartum depression, so that was great, there were some overreactions
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: that were they recognized were out of character for them,
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: like throwing something across the room, you know, and they're like,
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: nobody was hurt, but like yeah, outbursts like then they're like,
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, that shocked me and why did that happen?
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: And so I think it's great if you decide. I mean,
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: I know that's our classic they go see a therapist,
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: but it's okay, I guess to go see somebody preemptively
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: to build report going into a time that you know is.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: Going to be well, I'm glad you're normalizing that because
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I think for a lot of pregnant people, this is
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: a thing where there's a stigma actually associated with this,
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: and so it's like, well, if I go into therapy,
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: I'm admitting something, right, I'm admitting I'm just a crazy
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: pregnant lady. Or if I see a therapist postpartum, something
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: might be they're gonna take my baby away from me.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: A lot of people are scared of like, oh no,
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: if they find out I'm depressed or anxious or I'm
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: having scary thoughts, They're gonna take my baby away from
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: They're gonn think about bad mother, something's wrong with me,
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: and I want I think this letter gives us an
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: opportunity to normalize how incredible the hormonal and mental juxtaposition
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: is in pregnancy. I've seen some new data that was
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: just coming out. I wasn't even talking about hormones necessarily.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: It was talking about MRI prog or I guess launch
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: jouvenal data that was showing the structural changes in a
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: brain during pregnancy. How the human being structurally like the
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: neurological architecture was being transformed throughout pregnancy and changing in real,
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: long term ways, and and they're still trying to understand
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: what the fuck any of that means and what that indicates.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: But they can see it, which is.
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: Wild, amazing power that babies have. It's a good thing.
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: They can't communicate and coordinate with each other.
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: I think they can't vote.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't want those babies voting. Yeah. Takes another
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: wave at the audience and they're booing him. Oh, I
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: should have stayed down. He had it all. We'll fix that.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: And Pete rose everywhere. The shame you hate to see it.
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: Happen, gambled on pregnant women.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: But no, I do appreciate that there is so much information.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: And that's always tricky, right because like a On one hand,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: I want to respect the psychological, biological, biochemical enormity of
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: this transformation. I don't want to minimize it. I also
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: feel it's dangerous to use that as a catch all, yeah,
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: to explain everything, because then we're not dealing with the realities.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: You're still a conscious, thinking, rational being that works and
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: drives and things and has to make choices, and the
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: interpersonal and mental realities you're facing need to be dealt
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: with in a nuanced way that deals with it, not
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: just tells you, well, you're pregnant, so get over it.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Like we are disappointed when someone like eats the last
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: bite of food or something. You're like, those are things
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: we are upset about in general life. Yeah, I still
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: have that really hit Jem's nerve.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: I can see it in stories, guys, the ones that
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: get away.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, no, really quick. Here's my thing that Peter pisses
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: me off. And he knows that he does this. I'm
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: sharing it.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: We get along everywhere except this. No, he does this
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: perfect relationship.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: You're gonna die when he makes Swedish meat balls every day.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: I know that asole.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: Three times a day at seven am.
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: I have today. It's horrible.
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: It is about food. So No, he does this thing
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: where if he gets like ice cream, he's the type
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: he'll go in and just take like one bite of
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: ice cream and he's like, that was my sweet treat
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: and puts it away.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: Like a psychopath in the I contain.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't care about that, just the two of us.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I feel like he doesn't need to make it because
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: he doesn't need to.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: Just go take one or two bites and put it
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: back in the floor.
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: I do this, and then you're done.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I could also go take like one chip out of
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: the ball and eat it, enjoy.
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: That Pico path.
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a rope, not a real person.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: So I like that.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: This is your trigger. Whinney's on the right side of
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: the issue. You're a monster, justing wrong with you.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: So here's where it gets me. I don't mind that.
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: I think you psycho for it, but I don't mind it.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: It's when we get to the ice cream being low
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, there's ice cream in the freezer,
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: and I open it up and there's one bite in there, and.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: I just.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Like, what is this.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: On the divorce paperwork? Like that's a.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: Bite for me. I'm like, all I wanted was ice cream,
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: and now there's only.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: One stre is hum break over the call.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: But you you reach for the container and then you
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: do that terribly painful quick lift you. I'm with you, girl,
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: I have felt this pain.
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: We've got We've got every year we've got her, she's kisses.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: Christmas, good ones.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we put in a jar and every year
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: she's like, you're not going to eat all of them,
• 46:09
  Speaker 4: are you? You're not gonna eat all of them, are you?
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: I'm like, it's gonna happen eating. She's like, you can't
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: eat them all. You gotta save them from me. It's like,
• 46:20
  Speaker 4: then you've got to step up. You don't get to budget.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: Here.
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: You have equal availability because you're fucking produces, not how
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: the animal kingdom works. You're right there on the right
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: side of this.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: Now, Nick, you can be happy or you can be right, Nick, Yeah,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: be right.
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: Why I'm talking about it on a podcast?
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: Die on this man, You're right, it's dumb. Is dumb?
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you about painians. We're all fed up
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: with the ship. I'm done, Jacob. I will goddamn I
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: scream chocolate. I will occasionally sit down and seat the
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: whole carton to I can't be just really happy with
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: a bite. There is a point of no return there.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: There is a point where you look in the cart
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: and and there's a percentage of the carton left. You're
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: responsible to finish it, to finish it, throw it away
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: and replace it, leave is it? What? Well? Look, if
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: you've opened the cart and finish it, yeah, you replace
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: it or you give it to me clear, No, but
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: that ship is annoying youself. But let me tell you
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: about something else that's next level annoying about the ship.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: Having kids, so children they can reach everything in the fridge.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: They're very aware. And man, when you come home with
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: some leftovers and you're like, oh, these are for me,
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna come back to these, and then a kid
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: comes home.
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: From schooling magic markering is like.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: I wish I had a secondge to hide ship.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: You can't.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I wish.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: Card you have money, I got that best.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: I wonder I cash in your spirit points to spend
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: at home, depot or something.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: So I have a quick pregnancy story. One of the
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: saddest moments I ever saw in my wife. This was
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: our first pregnancy, very long time ago. Just preemptively, Oh
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: my god. She had seen a commercial for a maple
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: honey blondie, the desserted Applebee's. That's like the it's like
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: a vanilla honey brownie brown with like ice cream or something,
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: and uh, and she had.
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: But it looks terrible in the commercial.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she texted me and said, hey, come pick me up.
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: I need to go to Applebee's. I need this honey blondie. Thing,
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: and so I was like, all right, whatever, And so
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: I come home from work, pick her up. We go
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: to Applebee's. We are there for this, like we're not
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: here also for dinner, like she's going to have some blets. Yeah, Like,
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: but I hate dessert. I have no interest in dessert whatsoever.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: So for me, I'm there to get my dinner on.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I'm men get a burger whatever. And
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: so like we you know, they're like, what do you
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: guys want? And I'm like, okay, I'm telling them my
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: whole order and like great, yeah, absolutely, we'll get it
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: just right, and like great, and then she's like, I
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: just want the honey maple fucking blondie with a big
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: old dollop of ice cream. And she's telling her all
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: about and the lady sent her listening to her, and
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: she's like and she's giving her all the things. She's
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: like and I want this and a little side of
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: this and no, no, no, no, no, no, no wants on
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: the side. I want to side of ice cold milk.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: Like She's just like the sandwich, bring me a cup
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: of caramel to go, that'd be great, be great.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I want it all inside. This bitch sat there and
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: listened to my wife and then waited and waited and
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: finishes and she's moving on the table right. She's like
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: finishing this with drool falling out of her mouth. She
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: can't get the words out. Lady looks at her and goes,
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: we're all out, my wife, I.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Bet go to the next Applebee's.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: I was grieved as if someone had died. Yeah, Like
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: and this poor lady, this waitress did not see that
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: ship coming back, and so she's like, oh no, Like
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: this moment you realize this person is weeping so hard
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: that you clearly do not understand.
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: What is happening.
• 50:31
  Speaker 5: Something going on.
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: Your father died, like today is the day you were
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: reliving in an anniversary.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: Like something big is going oy Blondie killed your father.
• 50:38
  Speaker 5: It was I was gonna eat one and that binge.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: This waitress is like falling all over like I'm so sorry, honey,
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: Like what can I get you? It's just like I
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: don't get you anything. I will drive to the.
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: Fucking store, like, oh my god, I will go to
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: the other Applebee, another Applebee.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: I will bring you this. You didn't God, no, I left,
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: I left. I left her there. Yeah, but you know
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: because I get a burger anywhere, first one first, the
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: last got out of there because you have a reputation. Yeah,
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: a familion, you know. Here, I am coloring. I finished
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: the mazing one. Try many times I can't. I'm trying to.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like the part where I show this lady that
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: I like solved the crossword, you know, like instantly, I'm
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: so fucking good. Yeah, so uh I but that's a
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: real last thing. So yeah, the second pregnancy, we do
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: this once more, and she did this again, and it
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: was on Saint Patrick's Day.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: I thought you were going to say second wife.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Second wife, second practice wife. I tried just one and done.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: I just get one in there and then I'm out.
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: I accidentally released that information about Jim.
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was how the world finds out that I've
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: been married several times forever. Kid. We it was Saint
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: Patrick Day. We went to a village pub because they
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: do corn beef, and she was so pumped and it
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: was like looking forward to this all week long, like.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: Claiming savage is so good, dude, it's garbage.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: So don't so good, it's trash. We do this every
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: year every Saint Patrick's Day. St Patrick's We go over
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: this again. Right, Yeah, we're deeming about anyway. They didn't
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: have it, she cried, But no, this is dumb. All
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: is this? It's a stupid march re hash is dumb anyway, writer,
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you. Stop being divorce
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: and find somebody else. All right, we're gonna take a
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: quick You could be Gym's eighth wife.
• 52:42
  Speaker 5: Come on eight times a.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: Time, Henry, Henry, the eighth of therapy. Just moving on through.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: we're talking about loneliness. You're listening to pub Therapy.
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: Today's episode is brought to you by Smitty Scoop made
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: similar test T Harris, Team Monico, Oscar swanros Anna, Marie,
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: Emma Caine Myra And if you would like to sponsor
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: the show, become a thera pretucer our Patreon dot com
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: slash therapy.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: All right, wait, eure up. What animal practice?
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: I'm just kidding.
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: Final answer, all Beta fish. What animal practices mindful eating
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: by meticulously washing their food before consumption, possibly indicating a
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: preference for cleanliness or ritual.
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: I know it. Buzz okay. I also would like to
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: secondarily buzz if she fucks it up.
• 53:37
  Speaker 5: Well, you're next after me.
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: Second options are that and clean up otters, raccoons, pandas
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: or I'm not sure how to pronounce this, capuchin, monkeys, monkeys, beta.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Fishin monkey that's it. Yeah, let's stay there. That's correct.
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: So the the things y'all thought of are in those options.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: The thing I thought I was, oh, we know it,
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: and you're silly for now. I can't speak for gym.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: You don't know because female brain raccoon because she's on
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: the rag walk through this.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: First, raccoons is what.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: Raccoons trash clean it.
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: Before I was going to get a squirrel. Originally were options,
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: Well that's what I thought. They like clean the little acorns.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: So squirrels growing up, they were great, all right, you.
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: Had raccoons, you had otters, otters because they're in the waters,
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: because yeah that's yeah, no, damn it.
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: Rats, god, damn the raccoon option. To make sure you're thinking.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: Let me know when you have your next presentation.
• 54:53
  Speaker 5: Get oh, yeah, we know.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: Can we be on the email serve on? Yeah? Yeah,
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: we should both show up to random momenteers for the
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: next role playing.
• 55:04
  Speaker 6: I feel like you.
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: What's your name to get you.
• 55:06
  Speaker 4: The information will tell you. I'll gladly take two of you.
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: I'll take four of you over one.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: Of famous shows up the same reason I didn't invite
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: them to the role play at my class.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: Next, like Jedi mind tricking me today.
• 55:20
  Speaker 5: I don't even have to like get Whitney off of
• 55:23
  Speaker 5: the right answer.
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: Next to it all for me, all right, go on next.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like heartbreaking videos out there of people handing
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: raccoons a piece of cotton candy and then they'll take
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: the cotton candy and dunk it in some water to
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: twin hilarious. It just you know, it goes away and
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: they're looking at their little hands like oh no, the
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: fear and tear on their faces and there's as happened.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm probably gonna get judgment for this too, But
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: I watched this little video I showed Peter yesterday, and
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: it's like when you find something, you find something at home,
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: jeep of it you can't you want but you can't buy.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: And it turns the corner and in this cart is
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: a raccoon and it's just staring at you with their
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: little little eyebrows that you like, oh, look at me
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: I'm so cute. And I said, why am I okay
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: with this but not okay with dogs? And like the
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: trash band is okay? The dogs?
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: What? Yeah, maybe not, but you're a little excessive. But
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: if you have a raccoon, I'm just more curious.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, give me that.
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: I had like a half tame raccoon.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: We had pet squirrels inside and then we had like
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: a half tame raccoon that because my mom would put
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: cat food out because she had a few like outside
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: caxs Sam, and then the raccoon would come hang out
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: as well, and he just got to be so fat.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: It was the same, yes, and he was like, I
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: could waddle around the raccoon is the best. I would
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: literally like I could sit in the backyard. He wouldn't
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: let me pet him or anything, but I would sit
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: in the backyard and he was happy to like also
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: sit in the back of That's like it's just like, yeah, yeah,
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: you're around.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: That's fine. It just reminds me of that scene in
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: the Simpsons or there is that way over fed monkey
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: and it's like you pray for Bobo.
• 57:05
  Speaker 5: Because he's so fat.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: He's and you can do sign language.
• 57:10
  Speaker 5: He watched before?
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: All right, Jacob?
• 57:15
  Speaker 4: Which birds have been known to engage in complex dance
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: routines to attract mates, and can become visibly stressed if
• 57:24
  Speaker 4: their performance doesn't impress.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: Good luck, I know this one. It is the band
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: the Birds.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, y'all are playing checkers and I'm playing chess.
• 57:40
  Speaker 5: I would like options please, Okay, good choice.
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: Peacocks, birds of Paradise, okay, flamingos, penguins.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: I am gonna say. I feel like peacocks.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: They shouldn't even be on this list because they're not
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: a bird at all.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: I think they're red herring. They're a raptors. Did there?
• 58:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my joke was better.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: It was a joke. You know. Peacocks are just the
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: ones pe pussies. Oh sorry, yeah, you might have. I
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: don't know, jimps going off the rails a little bit.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: I don't care anymore. I can't wait until the next conversation.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: I don't care. It's something hard and walk away from
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: the git.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: We have a flock of peacocks around our house, and
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: so and the pea hens like come around the house
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: all the time. Now, we had one for a while
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: during COVID who would come honk at the door very
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: early in the morning until s J would go outside
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: and give her some cheerios. And yeah, we don't keep
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: them in our backyard though.
• 58:42
  Speaker 5: Like when they come in the backyard, I.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: Chase them out.
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: I throw mine into the pond.
• 58:48
  Speaker 5: I bet it's penguins.
• 58:50
  Speaker 4: Okay, final answer, Yeah no.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: Can they come to me? Can I have it? It
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: does come to you? Give me Birds of Paradise for
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: all the chips, it is, yes, it is because I
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: watched me them, David Attenboss. They're dancing out there and ship.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: The fact that they get offended when when the potential
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: mate turns them down. That's why I thought penguins. Penguins
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: look like an animal that can be particularly offended.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: I think they're the birds. Penguins do the pebbles thing.
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do the thing. They get you
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: a rock, and they mate for life. These are all
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: reasons that I.
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: March of the Penguins. Yeah.
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: Did you ever see the spoof where Bob Saggot is
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: the voice. It's pretty fucking great. It's all the outtakes
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: from the actual footage of March of the Penguins, and
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: they cut together a whole new movie and they just
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: tell a whole different story. And Bob Saggitt is the
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: voice of the Ranguins. I did recently see a clip.
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: It was it was like an AI fake, but it
• 59:49
  Speaker 4: had Dave Att and Burrow's voice narrating, and it was
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: and it was like the Tesla Truck and it's like,
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: here you see the Tesla truck has formed a symbionic relationship.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: I saw that.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: I sent that video to every person I.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: Know, jacom as multiple people that own.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, three multiple a multiple of three cyber homies.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: All right, so I think I'm winning. It feels right, Nop,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: you and I both have one.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 4: It doesn't I mean you could have a thousand, that's right,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 4: you know the jersey allowed.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: Let's see how bad I want to win it. Loneliness
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: from anonymous. Hi, I'm struggling with being lonely. I'm thirty
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: one years old. I've been broken up from my father's son.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: I think son's father is what that might.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Oh there, yeah, yeah, thank you, that makes more sense.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: There it is. I've been from my son's father for
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: almost a year now. Our son is three and special needs,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: suspected autism, and he's nonverbalish. He's just one word right now,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: and I'm his primary caregiver. His dad gets him once
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: a week. I moved a city away for my friends
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: and family to be with my ex when we were dating,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: and I stay here now because my son's pre K
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: school is here and his babysitter and his dad. I
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: have three close friends I've had most of my life,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: but they all struggle with mental or physical health issues
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: and aren't able to talk or hang out a lot.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: I feel bad bothering them with my problems because I
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: know they have so much going on, and half the
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: time when I go to talk to them, they aren't available,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: which I totally understand. I have a therapist I see,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: and she's wonderful, and she's not a friend. Of course.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: I've tried to make new friends, but I haven't been successful.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not interested in dating. I lean on my work
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: mom and work dad a lot, but sometimes I feel
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: bad if I overshare. I have a pretty tight schedule,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: so it's hard to make time. And while I do
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: see my family some, I find myself very lonely. I
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: find myself wondering what people I watch or listen to
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: would think about my problems or my day, Like y'all.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: I guess I reminisce a lot about my past and
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: have imagined conversations with people I used to know in
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: my head. I don't really see an end in sight
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: to my loneliness. I'm trying to just work on myself
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: right now and try me the best mom I can,
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: and I try to remember those positive changes in my
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: life as I see my son improve, as I lose
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: weight or eat healthier, et cetera. I just can't escape
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: this feeling of being alone. I feel sad and isolated
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: and like I'm really just talking to myself a lot
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: of the time. Do you all have any advice? Thanks
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: for having a wonderful podcast. You truly do make a difference. Sincerely, anonymous.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Pronouns are she and her and ps if possible, save
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: this from when Whitney's gonna be on. You're like, well, unfortunately,
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: that's all the time we have for today's show.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: Thankous, So they're cutting me.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: Off kill her like, how dare you upstaate us? That
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: was not the agreement? Read your n d A.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 4: I mean that does say a lot about like how
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 4: many times people have written into the show and are like, oh,
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 4: Whitney would be great to listen and intentionally read it on.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: It's sometimes when I listen when I'm not here, I'm like, oh,
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: I really have an answer for that one. Too bad.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: So anyway, Nick, what do you think about this? This
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: is a well thank you writer for asking. Yeah.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 4: Well, honestly, my first thought was like, hey, we've got
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 4: a just whole community anonymous.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: All the anonymousis to everyone.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: Nobody who's going to put their name if they really cared,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 2: they put their name on it.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: No, my first thought was like, I mean, that's that's
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 4: kind of the low hanging fruit right there we've got.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: I mean, not to say that our audience is low
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: hanging for the name. The Discord community is. It's really
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: kind of fun to be a part of. I mean,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: I'm not a part.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: Of it, but I've heard that it's really really fun
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: to be a part of it. I mean, yeah, though
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: they do a Secret Santa every year, they're doing it
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: right now. They do holiday gift cards or they all
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: send them to each other. At what point they had
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: a flat Stanley going of you and me? It was
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: Flat and Jim they were sending all over the world.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: But it just it speaks to this idea of like
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: the the value I think in reality of cyber communities
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: that there really are these internet versions of friendships that
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: fit in where you're at in life. And I think
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: understand which is kind.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 4: Of cool if you're a single mom with a special
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: needs child and you don't you know, have anybody close
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 4: by like that, it's it's friends really at your convenience,
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 4: that's true. You know, like you got five minutes you
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 4: can kind of log in. I mean like it's it's
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 4: a great way to to be a part of a community.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 2: And you can also give us money, which feels really
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: good too.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 7: As long as it's a buck, you'll.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: Be all right.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, No, inflation never misses an opportunity be a businessman,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: does disman Jim, that's the biggest.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: No. I So anyway, when I was thinking, go on,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: I'm waiting for.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: Her to get started, just like I inhaled him, like.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: Some more words, this is real quick, go ahead.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: No, I really was kind of jokingly but not really
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: gonna mention the discord group. But also because I think, what,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: you're still pretty young, thirty one, like in our people
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: in our thirties and older, I think we discount online
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: communities a lot more like you know, I honestly didn't
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: even know anything about Discord before this podcast. I mean
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: i'd heard of it, but I was like logging in
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: all that was very overwhelming. I was like, I don't
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: know how to navigate this. I'm old. So I think
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: just dipping your toe into those waters and if and
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: our Discord is a great place to do that because
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: everyone is so ridiculously friendly, and there's so many different categories,
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: like categories, I guess.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: So we have like silly ones. We have one called
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: pod therapy Animals. Yeah, people share photos of our animals.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: We have one called into the Void where people just
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: vent and nobody responds. We read it, but nobody will
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: reply to you. We have another one called off my Chest,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: where you are welcoming people to give you feedback. We
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: have tons of like different areas and we have It's
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: it's interesting because, like again just to validate this idea
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: of online communities, especially whenever you have special needs, have
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: one called Fantasy Football that is just gym. It's just me,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 2: It's it is all me, just talking ship into the ether.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: I think the moderators have have like cut this group
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: off from the rest. I think only I can see
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: it and it's just me and people be like, I'm winning.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: Nobody sees it.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: Jim checks out.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that adds up the very smart moderators on this.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: The discord Moderator group does not get enough credit for
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: the long suffering they have done because they they mostly
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: exist to moderate me, like they do not moderate other people.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: They've never had to do anything to anybody. But there's
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: like this caging gym in like shit they don't do.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: It's really they do not get enough credit.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: I think, well, I think for the longest Yeah, I
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: see you, Jim trying to cut me off.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 5: Just go on going.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: For the long distance friends, I know we've touched on
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: that as well in the past, like quite a bit.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: But the number one thing I hear because as a therapist,
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: I tend to show up for my friends but feel
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: bad putting stuff onto them, you know, because I'm like, oh,
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 3: I'm good at that, and it's fine, like tell me
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: all your things, and I don't have to tell you
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: anything because you're going through a lot now that I know,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: and I don't want to burn in you with my stuff.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: But the number one like feedback, piece of feedback that
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 3: I tend to get is that I want to be
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: your friend too, Like you can share those things with me,
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: and that can be good or bad. It doesn't have
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: to be all the stressors. Like if something good happens
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: in your life, you can share that too. But not
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: saying you have to dump all your stuff on your friends,
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: but I just want to give you permission to share
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 3: some things that you're going through with your friends if
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: you'll have time, because you did say they may not
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: have a lot of time. But I just kind of
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: want to let you know it's okay to to share
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: those things and not try not to feel bad about that,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: because that's what friendships are like, it's a it's a
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 3: back and forth.
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: So well, I love that and you know another point
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: on this too, speaking of online communities, Autism Speaks is
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: a really important online community, especially for parents that have
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 2: a special needs child because it is so unique it is.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: There's tons of groups on Facebook for that. I've had
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: clients with children who are yeah for like your yeah
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: local community that you can get plugged in that and
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: sometimes that can feel overwhelming, but sometimes you can pick
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: out one or two people who kind of maybe are
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: in a similar position as you are, so you can
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: connect with them really easily.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: Well. And another thing too, you know, when somebody has
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: special needs children, I think a lot of times there's
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: always a difficulty in understanding what their resources are, you know,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: and like it's always difficult because they don't ever know
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: state to state, I don't know what your resources are
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: going to be. But a lot of times here in Nevada,
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: folks immediately qualify for quite a bit, and one of
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: them is ABA therapy, and a lot of times that
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: involves having in home workers who come and they offer
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: you respit and they are highly trained, they know how
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: to deal with the kid, they develop a relationship, they
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: start working on skill development and milestones. And then sometimes
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: that gives you that break to say, okay, like I'm
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: gonna take a night for myself and my child's in
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: good hands or with somebody that knows how to manage this.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 3: Or I can time a friend or face a friend
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 3: and just get.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: Out of this bubble for a little while and get
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: my mental health a little bit sortid. But yeah, I
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: mean attaching to those resources like Autism Speaks and ABA
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: therapy and just making sure you're aware. I think that
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: goes a long way. But some of this lonliness you're
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: talking about, where it's like I find myself imagining what
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: it would be like to just talk to people that
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: I used to know or even podcast hosts. That latter
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: part I found really endearing. Like reading that in letter
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: it made me think of how many times in my
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: life because there's this meme that we've probably all seen.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: It's the kids sitting next to the ice cream poster
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 2: and he's like, he's sitting there eating his ice cream, laughing,
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: and he's sitting next to a poster of three women
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: also enjoying their ice cream, but it's clearly a poster
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: and he's like laughing. It looks like he's with them,
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: but he's clearly not. And it says what it looks
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: like to listen to a podcast, like you feel like
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: you're part of it, but then you're not in the
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: room with them. And I think to myself, how unique
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: podcasts are in the world of all media? Yeah, right, Like,
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: just how that is all the podcasts I listened to
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: that I've like really dialed into long term, I have
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: felt exactly what that writer's thinking, Like I'll be in
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: the middle of my day not listening to that show
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: at all and something interesting happens or something relevant, and
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: I'll think to myself, oh my god, Hank would get
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: such a kick out of this, Like this is exactly
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: the kind of shit he would and like I almost
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: wish I had him in my phone, Like I almost
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: find myself almost instinctively reaching for my phone to like
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: tweet him, like Hank Green's gonna be like, oh, thanks, Jim,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: good one, you know, like great point, Jim. Yeah, Like
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: obviously it's just not gonna happen, But like it that,
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: I just want to normalize your human experience writer that
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: in this letter you're saying, Hey, even to you folks
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: that do this podcast, I find myself sometimes imagining talking
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: to you, and I think that A that's very relatable
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: and B actually, I think that's a really interesting mental
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: health technique. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: It's simular dialogue in a way that is kind of
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: like journaling. It's journaling with a receiver in mind and
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: being able to wear that person in your mind as
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: that theory of the second mind that allows you to
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: kind of like probe your thoughts and explore your thoughts
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: as if you were presenting them to a person who
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: you do know, and you can imagine how they would
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: receive it and what they would say in response. I
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: think that's really healthy.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 4: No, I mean, and see if you were to actually
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 4: meet us in person, you know, based off for the
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 4: people who have met us, Yeah, they're always disappointed.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: Always. Yeah. That's the good news is that we never
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: overwhelmed the Fantasy Alive. Yeah, you know what, never meet
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: your heroes lover you think he is no selfie, Jessie.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 3: You'll definitely get in contact with Jim on the Fantasy Footbook.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, No, it's funny. I think that's the
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 2: one show directly with Jim. Yeah. That is the one
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: piece of feedback we have gotten over the years on Discord,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 2: and people on Discordable a bout for this. It's that
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: when you join Discord, the thing that people are always
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: stunned about is how quickly I talk to you directly,
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: Like what the fuck? We were allowed to talk to
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: you guys and let you guys were like off in
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: the distance, and I'm like, nope, I live here. This
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: is all I do with my life.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 3: I have no other friends.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 2: I know I know that you're here, I know that
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: you posted anything anywhere, and I'm really excited to say
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: something and I have a gift, and like people are
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: so annoyed that they realize, oh shit, I didn't realize
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: I was signing up to be Jim's friend. You think
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: it's a good idea. Didn't your phone number? That's right?
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: Once I have your phone number, it's all that. Yeah.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 4: If you're worried about joining the discord because you're afraid
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 4: that you would be perceived as a stalker, I mean,
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 4: worry about it. I will bother you. You're like, oh,
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 4: I gotta thought you to. You know, it'd be cool
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 4: if I met you, But now I'm kind of like
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 4: dodging your calls and like trying to find out you'll
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 4: leave you alone. It's a very relatable thing anyway. But
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 4: you know, I think that that's part of the beauty.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 4: And you know, we use these words like parasocial relationship
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 4: to sort of describe this unique, you know, dynamic of
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 4: of these things. But you know, the writer talks about
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 4: like having like the work mom, the work dad, like
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 4: people you know in their life that they bond to
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 4: and connect with, And I think that's how we all are.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 3: That's so real. You just connect with people at work.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, you know, and there's nothing unhealthy about any of that. Well,
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: I understand that idea.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you you form those bonds with people you work
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 4: with and then you're you're surprised when they let you
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 4: down because you feel like you've kind of developed this trust, right,
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 4: you know that you can work together, and then all
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 4: of a sudden they completely destroy your exercise that you're
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 4: doing in front of a large group of people.
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: A trust all about planning there, it is, it's.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: An intervention witness. Didn't you know? You can? You can
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: always make it it. So what advice do we have?
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: Let's let's offer some general advice for so okay loneliness,
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: how to break through that one thing? Uh?
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 4: And I this may or may not apply, right, but
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 4: I do know that some people we kind of touched
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 4: on it just for a second a moment ago, about
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 4: how you kind of feel like you don't want to
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 4: be a bother to people, or you feel like you
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 4: don't want to burden them. Right, for the most part,
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's you. Most For most people, that's
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 4: kind of overblown. You know, you're never as much as
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 4: a burden a burden as you perceived yourself to be
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 4: so just taking that extra step and actually, you know,
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 4: scheduling time, asking them, calling them, saying you want to
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 4: hang out, go like schedule to go do some stuff.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 4: And I don't think it's going to be I would
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 4: put that fear off to the side, if that's anything.
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 4: That's kind of in the way. You had said that
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: you moved a city away, which immediately in my brain
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 4: like it's weird living in law school.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: Yes, I knew you were going to say this because.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: City away very far. Yeah you're hours. Yeah, but I
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: think of like.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 4: In Iowa a city away for me, like it was
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 4: ten minutes. Yeah, you know, my mom and dad live
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 4: in two cities.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: Those two cities are literally separated by a river, so
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: I mean they are a bridge apart from it five.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 5: Seconds to go from city to city.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: And I remember, like.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 4: In my hometown, like thinking about like if we had
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 4: to go to the next town over, it's just like
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 4: I don't want to do that, you know. But it's
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 4: like it was twelve minutes. Yeah, you know, but like
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 4: I drive that twice that to get here tonight.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 2: You know, it wasn't your first drive ever, Like didn't
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 2: the first time you ever drove a car, wasn't it
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: like to and fro from like a city. You had
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: some weird story, yeah, yeah, story you had to pick
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 2: up my Yeah that's right. Yeah, because your sister had
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: a baby. It wasn't the first time I've ever driven though.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah from the country. Yeah, he drin like ten.
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: But the proximity thing is an issue. I mean, I
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: like writer that you're already starting to serve name historically
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: the track.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 5: I just pointed it out.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 2: I was acknowledging what you just said out loud. Disgusting animals.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, Yeah, this is what you've signed up for. Writer,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: But no, like I, I like the idea of the
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 2: proactive search for community like websites like meetup dot com.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: I actually have a little story about this. So you
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: know we've joked on this. No I didn't.
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 5: He finds his friends on a A r P.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah I've been. I've been using that thing like crazy lately. Anyway,
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 2: everywhere takes it.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 5: That's his nick name for Nick's sister.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, association for yes, there it is.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 4: I think she'd rather be called a track she goes by.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, strong fantasy.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 5: You take care of it, will take care of you
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 5: carry is great.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 2: But no, I I did something social the other day.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: I was really proud of myself. I tried D and D.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 3: What do you mean by this?
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 2: I went drugs and drug Yeah, drugs. Wait a minute,
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 2: what's the other thing. I went to a information to
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: where they teach you as like a big board game
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: shop and they teach you how to play it and
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: there's like experienced people there and amateurs there, and so
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 2: it's welcome that you don't.
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 3: Know that you know, Okay, I have a question for it.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: Jimothy here, how can you go to that? But you
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: won't just call your friend to go hang out? Like
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 3: this to me is like, wow, that's a big deal.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 3: You like showed up aut a place where you knew
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: nobody and like tried something new. Like that's a big deal,
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: but you'll do that instead.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 2: Well, I also hung out with a friend. I went
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 2: to the George. I went and saw a football game
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 2: with the budget.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but those are two separates.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: They were very yeah too. So like I'll hang out
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 2: with friends to watch a game or something. I'll be socialbodist,
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: but like I don't want to. I don't know, like
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: I've been meaning to, like try to make new friends
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 2: and do new things. But like to this point of
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: like Nick was bringing up, how sometimes we can fear
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: that like the one on one contact might be too intense,
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 2: maybe because you are dealing with a lot. And I
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: think what I heard in Nick's suggestion that I took
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 2: away was the idea of finding an activity to do
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 2: that sometimes like sort of blunts that direct force of
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 2: like I'm scared I'm going to overburden somebody with all
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: of my truth. Well, sometimes if you find something to
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: do together that's adjacent, it's you're moving along. And that's
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 2: what D and D kind of was there as an
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: opportunity to meet people and do an activity that never
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 2: done before. And it was very pleasant and interactive, and
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: I really enjoyed the people I played with, and I
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: kind of thought, like, I like these people. They are
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 2: a lot of fun, and I could see myself having
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: friendship with them, But we're playing a game, like we're
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: just doing something. It's silly activities whole time. And I
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 2: just really wanted to agree with you, Nick, that that
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 2: was a great way to start a new like breakout
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: of loneliness and like into socializing by embracing activity and
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 2: so I guess that was just sort of an abstract,
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 2: you know, random off the wall suggestion to the writer
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: of like, hey, there's made up dot com. But things
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 2: like that, like board game groups in your community at
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: board game shops. I don't know what your communities like,
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 2: but here in Vegas we seem to have a very
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: big board gaming community. There's quite a few of these
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: shops and they all host different like gatherings and stuff,
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: and it's really neat, and so I've started getting into
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: well I'm trying it out.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 3: Anyways, I feel like, yeah, you mentioned that.
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 2: What was my character's name? Yeah, great question. So my
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 2: character was a Barbarian dwarf and his name was Jimly
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: Boom outside the box, not a creative man, Boom.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 3: Not a We all have our strength.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 4: I'm surprised the Best of Las Vegas wasn't your character.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 2: I hadn't won it at the time, But had I
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 2: won it at the time, I would have ensed that
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: my character's name is Best of Las Vegas. He was a.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 3: Therapist, podcast therapist.
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 2: He's thirty nine forty and he can fly, and he
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 2: can fly in a paper company. But he can fly well.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 3: So I was looking at when your free time is
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 3: based on what you've shared. And you said that your
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 3: your son's dad takes him once a week. Is that
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 3: like overnight? I wonder because that would kind of be
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 3: the time and and I was even going to suggest
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 3: if that feels too overwhelming with what jim Lee was.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, Yeah, thank you.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 4: I'm fine last yah, yeah, I like Jimlet my son's name.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: How dare you? Jimmy and the jim.
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 3: And they're gonna be like, where'd you get Gimlet from?
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: Or like, I don't know, like a surf rock family band.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 3: Gently, but just maybe try going to like a local
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 3: coffee shop with a little book or an audio book.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 3: Book clubs are great, just somewhere where maybe you're around
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 3: people that are more open to chatting, like I feel
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 3: like at coffee shops, you know, it's like, oh, is
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 3: that your stuff or not? Or oh, I like your
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 3: your jacket. You know, there's room for for conversations to
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 3: happen with other people that are kind of hanging out
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 3: to And some people go and they just work and
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 3: do their thing. That's fine, you don't have to bother them.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 3: But sometimes you know, working with clients, they will share
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 3: that there's a lot of value they get from just
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 3: being where other people are, and I I don't want
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 3: to push that so much because I know you can
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 3: still feel lonely in a room full of people, but
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 3: sometimes that can help fill a little bit of avoid
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 3: if you're just at home, like six days a week
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 3: and with your kiddo and just feeling more isolated just
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 3: trying to be around people, and if maybe diving into
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 3: a board game group or bo club feels a little overwhelming.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 3: A way to kind of start that process. Besides the
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 3: online arena is I think like, yeah, a coffee shop
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 3: or a breakfast place or something like that where you
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 3: can just go kind of hang out by yourself for
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 3: a little bit and get that alone time, but also
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: be around others. My experience is that when you do
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 3: things like even traveling alone, you're way more likely to
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: meet people because it's like other people see you as
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: a single person. You're non threatening, right when I like
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 3: when Peter and I travel together, then it's you're with
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 3: your person, so I'm not going to bother you. So
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 3: I feel like hangouts or just being out in your
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: community are kind of similar to that too. If you're
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 3: at a park or at a coffee shop. If you're
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 3: sort of by yourself, you're opening up that door a
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 3: little bit more for people to start a conversation with you,
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: you to do that with them.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 4: That's actually a really good point. I hadn't thought about that,
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 4: but that has been my experience as well. And you're
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 4: kind of by yourself, then that's yeah.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 3: So many more experiences. I'm at this person, I'm at
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: that person. But when you're with your partner, it's like no,
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: unless you do something with other people with partners, like
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 3: a cooking glass that they don't meet anyone else, it's.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 2: Like, well, I don't want to.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 4: I don't want to bother I don't want to force.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: Together having a good time not trying to bother them. Yeah.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: Loneliness is a very big deal, and it's something that
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: you know, I remember that the last surgeon general, all right,
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 2: I think the current one under Biden had released a
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 2: whole big annual report about that, and you know, to
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 2: to the Surgeon General's credit, has been doing a lot
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 2: more effort to try to use that platform to speak
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 2: more about a lot of things because it was actually,
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's root in history. The surgeon general
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 2: was a big part of fighting tobacco used and cigarette
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 2: use the first one to just publicly acknowledge and use
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 2: the platform that there was a cancer link and that
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: this need to be addressed and really started tipping the
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 2: scales in that battle for awareness. And recently the Certain
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: in General did a whole nother report on what they
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 2: described as the epidemic of loneliness and just speaking about
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 2: how in America today we have something of an epidemic
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 2: of loneliness, that nobody is short of contacts. We have many, many, many, many,
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 2: many contacts, especially online, but few people that we deeply
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 2: associate with who truly know who we are and what
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 2: we're going through. And most people report loneliness as a
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 2: big part of their life and depression, and I get it.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: You know, it is really tough to break through because
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 2: you have to activate, You have to get out there
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 2: and go looking for these relationships and being vulnerable, yeah,
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 2: and being vulnerable and reading them correctly. And it's also
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 2: tough when you have kids because then it's like, Okay,
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 2: I have to make time to do this, and you
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 2: have special needs kids, like it's always selfish to not
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 2: be a part of this kid's life. It's always selfish
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 2: to step away from them. It's always And if I
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 2: have one day a week that like as the day
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: might try that's taken from me and is with their
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: other parent, I have a shitload of things that need
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: to get done on that day, Like this is the
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 2: day I'm doing all the chores that I couldn't have
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 2: drove my kid too, and done all the things for
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 2: myself and getting my hair done and like all the
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 2: things that couldn't have been done. And so I get it.
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 2: There's so many layers to this, which is one of
• 1:26:16
  Speaker 2: the reasons why I strongly nudge toward you know, like
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: autism speaks, I really feel like it. It helps to
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 2: have people in a very similar relatable life situation because
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 2: they want to support you through it, because they relate
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 2: to your truth and a big part of your life.
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 2: It's not the only thing in your life. It doesn't
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 2: define you, but it matters, you know, and it's it's
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 2: hard to minimize that. That's a big part of it. Yeah, Yeah,
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 2: loneliness is a hell of a thing. But I hope
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 2: you'll come join us in the discord. Yeah, please join
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 2: us in the discord. And I really hope that Whitney
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 2: lived up to the standard. The pasture was real.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 3: I don't think we did.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 2: For now my day is coming. I'm going to strike back.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 5: Puddings Joan.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 2: Jim Lit, jim Leys, jim Cups, putting Cups episode title.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 2: Oh there it is jim Lit pudding cuts, Hemlets in
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 2: pudding cups. Thank you, Jimlet pudding cups.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 3: Isn't that a drink?
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 2: It is?
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 2: The will be it the next.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 3: Like I swear that's a drink.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: The gimlet is the is the version of the gimlet
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: at jim Bar.
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 7: It counts just apple juice, expired apple sud, room temperature,
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 7: apple juice, and milks.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 5: It's apple and his kids didn't get to.
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 2: Is this apple juice or apple sauce?
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 5: Yes, it's whatever you believe.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: It is fuzzy apple. That's what that is. All right?
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: Thank you writer, great question, and I hope that we
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: could support you as a digital community. But just know
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 2: that it is very relatable and there's so many different
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 2: practical solutions, but that everything you're talking about is important
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 2: because it's something that other people are definitely living with
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 2: right now, and it's it's part of why we create
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 2: these podcasts. Its part of why we create these digital communities,
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 2: to try to just take one step in the right direction.
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 2: We're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 2: we are wrapping up the show you're listening to Pop
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 2: Therapy Days.
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 4: This episode is brought to you by our therapy partners,
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 4: I the person you.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 2: Over there, Thanks again, and we're back. Yeah, looking, you
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 2: know who we're talking about.
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 1: Jim and I were tied and the and the quiz
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: and the quiz questions. We need a tiebreaker.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: I'll come up with keep talking, I'll come up with me.
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 2: I'm sick and tired of your martyr complex. And he
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 2: gives next extra beats to think about it by being like,
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 2: are you sure you said a bad answer? Raccoons?
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 3: Raccoons are trash and trashed.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 2: I knew that Nick was trying to tell her.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: It's they're eating trash, so they clean it first. That's
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 1: what Nick was trying to tell her. But all he
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 1: told her was their garbage animals.
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, Beta, He's like, are you sure that's all
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 3: it takes to talk?
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 2: I think I get to start this one because I
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: think I started the first one. Then I think we
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: just sudden death. All right, let's just buzz in.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, you started one, you started the second one.
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 2: If it goes to options, then it's just take your options.
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 4: Well that was it for the animal one, So now
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 4: I got to go back to office trivia, break it
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 4: with Office Tree. What is Aaron's real first name?
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 3: Fuck?
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know, buzz We're any options and it's gonna
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 2: be pretty I.
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 5: Feel like we just need a different question.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 5: I feel like we need questions until we can buzz in.
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 4: Kelly, Jessica, rachel Or Andrea, Andrea, No, Jessica, No, Kelly, Wait,
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 4: you're just okay.
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 2: So one with patients. I'm Kelly Proud, all right, thousand
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 2: points to Jim. All right. As we wrap up the show,
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 2: we want to remind you you can sign up at
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 2: patreon dot com slash therapy. You can get our extended
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: show at free at early as well as enjoy our
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 2: live chat, discord community, and our weekly deep dives, interviews,
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 2: skill shares, research roundups and rants. And we want to
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: welcome some new friends to the therap party who signed
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 2: up at patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 4: Who's new Nick? We got two new therapods. Welcome Riley
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 4: and Sandy Salmon.
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 2: Salmon okay, correct, you will actually I like it. Also,
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 2: of course, we want to praise our theity, the dark
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 2: Lord himself, Jim's Fasha, and our therapy partners, the benevolent, revered,
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 2: generous and flagrantly pro therapy dieheards who love you all
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 2: so much they give to the hurts, Dirty b and Pickett,
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 2: and our boss is the mysterious enshrouded Illuminati. Members of
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 2: our fan club Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint, Smitty,
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 2: Scoop bend On, Judy Schneider, Kayla Ansberry, Malia Leon cassab
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 2: Mason Miller, Richard Fucking Macy, Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller,
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 2: Sammy Scoop, Ben Stanley, Slap in your face, Sarah Smith,
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 2: Adam Hathaway, Builer Tea, Mike Helm, Paris, Darren Cunningham, Lib
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar Falcon, Scoop Matt Le, Sa Tangman, Hayo,
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 2: Oscar swanros A, Sun Boy, Slipe Kaye, Motherfucker, Sandra mcwoffle,
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 2: Dan Martin, Hanna, Marie Andrew Langmead, Emma Kaine, Elina Cody,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 2: the Lorian Guy, Sam Cone and Nathan Mookie.
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 4: If you would like to hear this episode uncut and unedited,
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 4: and why wouldn't you and enjoy our spontaneous side projects.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 4: Go to patreon dot com slash therapy and thank you
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 4: for supporting mental health.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 2: That's all the time I got for this week session.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 2: I want to thank our Landlord's Met Mattingly's ice Cream
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 2: Social podcast and thanks to those of you who contributed
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 2: to our show today. We really appreciate it. Hey, remember
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 2: pot therapy is and something to keep holding yourself share
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 2: of the episode of the world tags and the socials
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 2: when you do. It's at pod therapy Guys on Instagram,
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 2: threads and Twitter. I think it's pod therapy at Blue
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 2: Sky at slash pot therapy on Facebook, and don't forget
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 2: about all the extra goodies at patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 4: And if you're thinking about submitting a question to the show,
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 4: you should do it. Ask anonymously at pod therapy dot
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 4: net or email us at pod therapy guys at gmail
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 4: dot com. You can also click on the link in
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 4: the episode of description ex Tangement.
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 3: I'm Jim.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 4: Thanks, so we'll see you for your appointment next week.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 4: All right, jim Let, good job.
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 2: Sick of all this winning.
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 3: You are?
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 4: I think you are addicted to it. I think you
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 4: love it. And for a thousand more points, yeah, that's
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 4: the Lost Vegas. You don't need that many, I don't, Fine,
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 4: Fie