Latest / The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World / How to Be a Godly Spouse without Jezebel Characteristics

Transcript

How to Be a Godly Spouse without Jezebel Characteristics · The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What does it mean to truly be a godly spouse?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Can you make or break your spouse's purpose for what God has for them?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: And why is it important to be really strict in who you marry?
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're gonna talk about these questions.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna look at some characters in the Bible and really what God's word says about what it means to be a godly spouse, particularly what it means to be a woman of God.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited that you're joining me today.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Entrepreneur's Wife podcast.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I am your host, Carly Raines.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we sit down and talk about how to find purpose as the helper to our small business owner in this feminist obsessed world.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're gonna tackle some pretty serious topics.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think that they're topics that when you look at our culture in the American society, we as women don't realize we are being like constantly, I don't want to say brainwashed, we're just being constantly told through media, through entertainment, through social media and society, how what it means to be a woman and what it means to be a spouse and what it means to be married.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're not careful, we can take our theology and kind of mix it in with culture.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And today I really want to look at what it means to be a godly spouse in relation to the business that God has promised your husband, and this is something that just was really put on my heart, and we're gonna look at Sarah especially because when I think about this question of you know being a supportive spouse to this vision that the Lord has given your husband, I honestly think of Sarah, I think she's the best example because Abraham is really the first that we see in Scripture where he's giving this generational promise where it's gonna last past him, and we actually see his wife being talked about not just in the story of when Abraham was alive, but actually like throughout the New Testament, and Sarah is referred to a lot, and it's actually pretty interesting, guys, because you know, there were, I believe, there were godly women before Sarah.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like you think about Eve, yeah, she messed up, but I really think she repented for that, or I hope she did.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: You think about Noah's wife, you think about these stories, Joseph's wife, like there were other godly men who got married.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I guess Joseph's after Abraham, but there were godly men who got married in Genesis before Abraham, who their wives aren't really mentioned, and I think we should take note, especially coming from back then, where women weren't really given the spotlight.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, women weren't really talked about much.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they were kind of looked at as lower, less than.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so for Sarah, as we're gonna see, for Sarah to have this platform and for her to be praised in a world where really men were praised, um, I think that when we ask ourselves how do we be a godly spouse, that she's like a great example to go to.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what's awesome is she wasn't perfect.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Sarah made mistakes, and there were things that Sarah walks through that, you know, we look down upon and we judge, but I mean she endured a lot, and I and she is praised even despite what she suffered through.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna get into that today.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to start with the common scripture of when we talk about a godly spouse and we talk about a godly woman, you know, every every woman goes to I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's the one that I want to be, and I think it's really interesting the context of this chapter because it starts off.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: This king is given these um, if you will, riddles or poems sayings that his mother taught him, and he's writing them down, and the section that it says is well, actually, I'm gonna start before this section because it's really interesting.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we're just gonna read the the start of chapter 31.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: It says the words of King Lemu Lemuel and Oracle that his mother taught him.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So this is really interesting, guys, because this is a mom teaching her son, and she's gonna talk about women.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it goes on to say, What are you doing, my son?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing, son of my wom?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing, son of my vows?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I I think it's funny she starts off asking him what he's doing.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how old.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he's a king, actually.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So he's king.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know if he's making mistakes.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know the context around why she's asking, what are you doing?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: But in verse three, it's pretty interesting.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: She says, Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all, that is a powerful verse.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we want to compare, I'm just gonna compare.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: You have Jezebel, you can be Jezebel, or you can be Sarah.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Those are your two options.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Jezebel, if you don't know the context of Jezebel, in the Old Testament, Jezebel was the wife to a king, and this verse that talks about her destroying kings and don't give your strength to women, uh, her husband did that.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: She took control, she manipulated, she did things in her own hands, and we in the Christian sphere in the church look down upon this.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you will, she would probably represent in today's time the perfect perfect feminist, the perfect one whose women empowerment and you know, all of these, all these things we see in society.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: That would be Jezebel.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So just think about that.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Independence, doing your own thing, being strong.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe, yes, you should be strong as a woman, and there is some independence, you know, you shouldn't lose yourself, lose who God created you to be.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a lot in those words that I don't think we realize as Christians for what it's implying.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Jezebel was not submissive to the Lord's will, she was very prideful, she was manipulative.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's just a lot that she did that does not represent godly character.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And when you look at how do I be a godly spouse, you gotta look at God's character, hence why the word godly is in the godly spouse, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And she does not show any of that at all.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have her and then you have Sarah.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just I find verse 3 so important.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do not give your strength to women.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny, I was listening, I was I was on Instagram and I was listening to some reels, and this just hit me so good.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: There was a guy, and he was talking about getting married, and he said, Your wife can either be your lid or your lifter.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your lid or your ladder.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And he was basically saying she can put a stop and limit you based on your dreams, based on what God has promised you.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think about Abraham, guys.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just want I want you to always think about Abraham.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Abraham's given this huge promise.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Abraham is this ordinary guy, and he is given this divine promise of you're gonna go have generations as big as the stars.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you this land.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that it's huge compared to where he was at and where he was born.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And his wife Sarah could have been a lid that limited what God wanted to do in Abraham's life, or she could have been a lifter and a ladder and caused him to excel in that area.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to say, as women of God, entrepreneur wives, it is so true.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I have found myself with that.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: And James, James actually, you know, talks about controlling the tongue, and we're gonna get into that in chapter three, controlling the tongue, and basically how a spiritual, mature, disciplined Christian is gonna be able to control their tongue because it's like a fire, and it sets your body and it sets your life ablaze.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to ask, are we setting our husbands' lives ablaze for God's glory or ablaze for the world's glory?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are we speaking over our husbands?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: What are we speaking to our husbands?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are we being a lid to them or are we being a ladder?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: When they get in our presence, do they get discouraged in who they are or do they get encouraged?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, y'all, I want us to be so secure in ourselves that it doesn't matter what we do in terms of career, goals, ambitions.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if our name is on anything.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want us to be so secure in the Lord and what he has promised, your marriage and your relationship with him.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And again, going back to Abraham and Sarah, Abraham was given the promise, but Sarah was a vital part of it.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Abraham couldn't accomplish the promise without Sarah.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that is so true for us.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, y'all, I have struggled so many times with, well, this is Briston's business.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Texas outlaw running is Briston's idea.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even work for the company anymore.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's made it even harder.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Where I'm like, well, this is his vision and this is his idea, and God's blessing him.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what about me?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what about my passions?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: And what about, you know, what about the stuff that I want to do?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And a part of me is like, Carly, you're missing the point.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're missing the point.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like when God blesses Texas Outlaw Running, he's not just blessing Briston's hands.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're a part of that.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're one flesh.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're you're his spouse.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I worry, like, will this simple life of me and his two daughters will we be enough?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like you're in the vision with him.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like when God gives your husband an idea and a vision, he's keeping you in mind.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not like he went to Abraham and didn't have Sarah in mind.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, Sarah was a part of the vision.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like she was a vital asset of it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we got to train our minds.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it, I think it really is hard for us to understand this because of the independent society that we live in.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's really sad.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's really sad that we've gone from you know understanding the marriage unit, how important marriage is, how important the family is, and and really understanding that a lot back then for them to accomplish had to have been together.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like farming, they had to have done that together.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of their, you know, career jobs they did together as a family.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: And now, I mean, culture has shifted so much because of technology that it's like you do your own thing.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you go to college and you get a degree in something you want to do, and your husband can get a degree in something he wants to do.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: You go to two completely separate places, and you work completely separate places for goals and aspirations, and yet you're supposed to be married.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, honestly, I think the only thing when I think about our society that's keeping you married is sex.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like that that seems like it's the only thing that you're doing together.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like a lot when we talk about what it means to be a godly spouse, I feel like a lot of marriages fail because they don't have a vision for their marriage.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: That was one thing that when we were in premarital counseling, one thing that we were really like drilled and nailed at was you have to have a vision for your marriage.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have goals for your marriage, you have to do stuff together for your marriage.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's why I believe like your finances.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's why I believe your finances should be together because it's exciting for Briston and I to sit down and say, what are our goals financially?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where do we want to be in five years?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing that together.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's exciting for us to sit down and say, where do we want to be as a family?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are our goals and our values for our family?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same way in business.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, Briston 90% of the time is going to get ideas for Texas Outlaw because he works in it and I'm at home.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna tell y'all, there have been times in our past where God has given me the dream instead of Briston, and a literal dream of like what decision we should make.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, when we're hiring somebody, Briston always asks, What do you think about this person?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want you to understand that you have power in how you react to your husband's decisions.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I want us as godly spouses, I want us to react appropriately because again, we're either gonna uplift and encourage, or we're gonna be a lid and we're gonna discourage.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna go to um we're gonna go to actual Proverbs 31.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it says, an excellent wife who can find.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that it says an excellent wife.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't say an excellent woman who can find, it says an excellent wife, and you're a wife.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, you're a woman, but you're a wife.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sarah was a wife, and she was an excellent wife, and so being a godly spouse, yes, it means that you're gonna be an excellent woman, you're gonna be a godly woman, but you're not just a godly woman.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like you got married and you became one flesh, so you're doing it together, and I think that's the first thing that we have to realize is like compromise.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're doing this together.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not always gonna get my way, he's not always gonna get his way, but we have to work at it together.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she is far more precious than Jules.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Her heart, the heart of her husband trusts in her, and this is something that I wanna go back to with the story of Sarah.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, guys, Sarah, Abraham was given a promise of a child, and Sarah was barren, and I don't know historically, but I'm gonna gift my opinion.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I really think that a lot of barren women they were looked at as the sole factor for why they were barren.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was something that they did, something wrong with their womb, something wrong with them.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I could be wrong, but I I I I gather that just from scripture.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when actually it could have been Abraham's fault, it didn't always have to be the woman's fault.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: But she's given this promise of you're gonna have a son.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And Abraham's given this promise.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they're not just given a promise of one son, they're actually given a promise of generations of children, as many as the stars, as scripture says.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but I want to say her husband Abraham, think about this, guys.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: He trusts and depends on Sarah's words so much so that he is willing to have an affair in order to try to get God's promise to happen.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like Sarah has the idea of, hey babe, why don't you sleep with my servant instead of with me, and we can make this problem, we can make this promise happen.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And he he trusts her so much that he does it, guys.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: He does it.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you think about Adam and Eve.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like you think about the power of a helper, okay?
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: What happens in Genesis with Adam and Eve?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: He trusts her words so much so that he takes of the fruit when God literally told him, Don't eat of this fruit.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Crazy, right?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so we go back to this comparison of are we Jezebel or are we Sarah?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like the new born-again, redeemed Sarah.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because Sarah fell into characteristics of Jezebel.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean is she took control of the situation based on what she wanted and when she wanted it, and she tried to manifest the promise and the vision that God had given them as a family, and it ruined a relationship.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he now has a son, and he had sex with the servant, and after that, Sarah did not treat Hagar greatly.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: She did not treat her the best, and there's reasons for that.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, she had sex with her husband.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it was hard.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm sure Sarah got very, very jealous.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually want to flip to James because we're gonna go back and forth between James and uh Proverbs 31.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to flip to James because James actually says this about jealousy and selfish ambition.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: He says, okay, he says, Who is wise and understanding among you?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, guys, as a godly uh spouse, it is so important for you to carry wisdom, godly wisdom, which by the way, the verse of today is the verse in the beginning of James, which says, if any of you lacks wisdom, ask the Lord who gives generously.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: So we are called as women of like spouses to our husbands, we are called to be wise.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: That was kind of um Eve's issue and Sarah's issue was they were not acting out of godly wisdom.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And and we're gonna go on to see this.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: He says, Who is wise and understanding among you by his good conduct?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, it's not talk.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your actions are going to show whether you're actually wise or not.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can say fancy words and all these facts, but your actions are gonna show more than what your words are gonna say.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it just speaks so much volume, okay?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, with it.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So our actions as a spouse, like our actions as wives, is going to speak more than what the actual words we say.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: We can say I love you, we can say I support you, we can say I believe in you, but if our actions aren't actually following through with what our words say, our words mean nothing, our words are meaningless.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so your husband, Abraham, is given a promise.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: He's given this business.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And rather than nagging and controlling and telling him what to do, like what are you doing about it?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Are you helping him in areas it might not be hands-on with the business, but like when he comes home, you know, are you helping around the house?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are you cooking dinner for him?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Are you setting him up for success?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Are you being a lifter?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Are you saying I'm proud of you?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Are you giving him a hug?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Are you like there's actions that we can do to show our husbands I'm behind you in this, like I support you in this.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna be honest, guys, I think Abraham needed that.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's a reason that King Lemuel's mom says, Don't put your strength in women.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning that in order for a man to be strong, there is power behind his his wife.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't put your strength in women, don't put your trust in women.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like for Abraham, he's given this big promise from God, and it's probably really, really scary.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And he doesn't know if he can do it, and probably nobody around him is supporting him in it.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you as a wife have a decision to make like, am I gonna support my husband in this or not?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, y'all, like with Texas All All Running, we get a lot of praise now, you know, being six years in and seeing growth.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: But let me tell y'all, when Briston was starting in his dorm room at 18 years old and he'd tell people, like, yeah, I'm gonna do this business, or when we were married and I was working full time, we were bar barely making any money, and he was doing it full time, and people were like, Why don't you have like a real job, Briston?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why don't you support your family better, Briston?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Or when we were living in a camper and depending on the business full time, it had a cash car that had over a hundred thousand miles on it, and people are like, Why don't you do better, Briston?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you actually get a job, Briston?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't have insurance with the business and stuff.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want you to understand your husband is under a lot of pressure and he's under a lot of fire.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: People are going to come at him.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because, especially if it's God given, like, y'all, it is it's not gonna be easy on your husband, and you as the wife have a choice to make.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm either gonna feed into all these voices around him, discouraging him, or I'm gonna be that one little voice and that one little encourager and support him no matter what.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about this this morning on my run when I was working out.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: A godly spouse has to see where God is taking you before it actually happens.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like when Bristol was working on the business, and when he when we were barely making any money, and he was just working so hard at making it to where we could live off of it.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: As his spouse, I had to be able to see the vision that God had given him.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I had to see futuristically and not just focus on the now.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because everyone else around you, when it's God given, they're gonna focus on the now, they're gonna focus on what they see now and what's happening now.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and you as the spouse have to be like, no.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I see what he can do, and and by faith, I'm going to tap into that and I'm gonna support him in that.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to go on, but it says, but if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so Sarah, going back to the story of Sarah, this is the characteristic of Jezebel, bitter jealousy and selfish ambition.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sarah fell into that with Hagar because she was bitterly jealous because she wasn't having a kid yet, and the promise wasn't happening quick enough, and she fell into selfish ambition because she thought, oh, Abraham, well, why don't we do it this way?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're still accomplishing God's promise.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're just gonna do it this way.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it says, do not boast and be false to the truth.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And she was false to the promise, to the truth of the fact that they were actually gonna have a son.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: It says, this is not wisdom that comes down from above, but it's earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, again, this is describing the characteristic of Jezebel.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is what how we need to be, guys.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: It says, for where, hang on, real quick.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: It says for where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there will be disorder in every vile practice.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Dun dun dun dun.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: What happened with Hagar and Abraham sleeping with her and Ishmael?
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's not Ishmael's fault.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, he's the only innocent one in this situation, but I'm just saying that it was a lot of disorder, probably, and it was every vile practice, and it shows that Sarah had some bitter jealousy and selfish ambition going on to fulfill God's promise.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: It says, but the wisdom from above is first pure.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so as a godly spouse, everything that you're doing, from the bedroom to the business idea to the kitchen, to like everything that you're doing is pure.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: It has pure intentions, and the only way that we can know if it's pure or not, I'm telling y'all, is through a lot of prayer and knowing God's word.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because there it's so such a slippery slope to think you have wisdom and discernment about something, and it's actually bare jealousy and selfish ambition.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is why James talks about this, okay?
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: Then he goes on to say it's pure, it's peaceable.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Hagar and Ishmael was not peaceable.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Isaac was.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: So this is explaining.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, just compare the two different situations.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's just I can't emphasize this enough.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important that you're encouraging your husband and being a just a great vessel of encouragement and uplifting them.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Something really sad that I found out about the other day was this spouse.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was a woman in particular, she was not very fond of her husband's job.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know the full story, but I will say this if you are not all for your husband's job, that's okay.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't like where he works or the people he works with, or the company, or whatever.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is that is fine.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is a valid feeling, and it that's not necessarily wrong.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: What is wrong is the way you go about it, constantly nagging your husband and saying, Oh, I don't like you working there, you shouldn't work there, da da da.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think you're gonna accomplish what you want to accomplish, and you're kind of falling under the Jezebel mindset mentality.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because what Jezebel does is she takes control of her husband and she uses that control to make decisions and to manipulate him, other people, life decisions, things like that.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if we don't like where our husband's working, number one, I think the biggest question is why?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Where is this motive coming from?
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is this coming from me being petty and maybe something happened between him and a coworker, and now I'm just a woman and I'm emotional and I'm being petty about it?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or is there a valid godly reason, a moral ethical reason for why I don't like him working there?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if there is, going to your husband and being open about it is important.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, there's been times where Bristol's hung out with somebody and I'm just honest.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, hey, babe, I don't like you hanging out with this person, and I explain why.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: But my goal in telling him why I don't like him hanging out with that person or why I don't like him working for a certain company or whatever, making a certain decision.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: My goal in telling him that is not to determine his decisions, it's not to control his decisions.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, my goal in telling him that is simply for him to understand and for me to describe it in a way to where he can understand where I'm coming from as a spouse.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I want.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: I want my husband to understand where I'm coming from as a spouse.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because if he can simply understand where I'm coming from, if he's being a godly spouse and a godly man, then I know he's gonna take that to the Lord and he's gonna say, Okay, God, this is how my wife feels about this, but what do you want me to do?
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is the biggest thing of why I think God wanted Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's because God had to test and know, is Abraham gonna come to me and listen to my voice, or is he gonna go to his wife and listen to her voice?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because right before this, Abraham sleeps with Hagar, and whose voice did he listen to?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: He listened to his wife.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: So going to your husband about things.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, babe, I don't feel comfortable with you making this business decision or you using this money for this or using this purchase for this or whatever it is.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, my goal as a godly spouse is not to change his mind, is not to try to control his actions, is not to tell him what to do.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I hate to break it to you, but you're not his mom.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't need to mom him.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's not your job.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: He has a mom, he doesn't probably want another mom, and Jezebel acts like a mom.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I honestly think that Jezebel acts like a mom because she does not believe that he can do it, and so she feels like I have to be the one to make the decisions, I have to be the one to hear from the Lord.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's just what it is, is it's a control issue, to be honest, from what I see from scripture, is she just has a control issue.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the thing: God, God loves delegation, He loves delegation in the body of Christ, He loves delegation in a godly marriage.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: So when we have an issue and we go to our husband about it, for instance, Sarah had an issue.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Abraham, I'm not getting pregnant.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't working, we're still barren, and yet God has given us this promise.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: I honestly, because of what it says in Hebrews, guys, this is so fascinating.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sarah is the only woman in the Hebrews Hall of Fame chapter.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: She's the only woman mentioned.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: All the other ones that are mentioned are men, and I think that's very significant because I don't think Sarah's issue was whether or not she believed God.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because it says through her faith she had the power to conceive.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I believe she believed in God's promise.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like she knew God was capable of that power.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: I believe she believed that, and that's why she's viewed in the Hall of Fame.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I think where she got off was is this really, are you really gonna do this through me and for me?
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because I hadn't, I have no doubt she believed in the power of conception because she uses Hagar.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: So so we know she believes that God can get anybody pregnant, God can have pregnancy.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, y'all, this is another thing that I just thought about.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if Sarah, when God promises Abraham a son, I wonder if Sarah doubted if it was gonna be through her.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because she laughs.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: She laughs, and she and and God said, No, it's gonna be through you, Sarah.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I wonder if Sarah doubted, like, because this is the thing, guys.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Scientifically, men can get women pregnant for years, they can be like 80 years old and they can still get women pregnant, and and us as women, we got a time clock, like ours is like half of that.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: We can only go till we're like 40.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I wonder if Sarah wondered, well, I'm gonna die, and Abraham's gonna marry someone else, and that's the promise that it's gonna happen through.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because she laughs, and yet she's in the Hall of Fame, and God's like so.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I I know she believed that God could do it.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: I just wonder if she believed that she was a part of that process, and that God was gonna be faithful through her and not through another woman, and that's the thing that I really want to capture is being a godly spouse means you understand that God picked you to be the spouse of your husband.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't by chance, it wasn't by accident, it wasn't a flute.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: God picked you, and and God wants you to be the greatest helper and encourager for your husband.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I also want to say your husband picked you.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: So why are you doubting your abilities in being a spouse?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: I I love when Briston describes our marriage because he describes me as a gift, and I and I love that.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me feel valuable, it makes me feel treasured.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: It it just I love how he describes it.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're a gift, Carly.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not just you're not just this girl that I picked up across the street or you know, on the street and just wanted to marry.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wanted to marry you and you're valuable.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I just I go back to the hall of fame or the hall of faith, not fame, hall of faith, and in Hebrews, and you know, I think Sarah eventually, especially after Hagar, God comes to her and says, Hey Sarah, like it's gonna happen through you.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna choose you to to deliver the promise with.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I like I feel like you know, Adam might be nervous to do that to the creator, the creator being like, What do you mean there's not one?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: I created all this for you and you can't find a help or suitable for you.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: But Adam's like, no, I can't.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's not one out here for me.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're not married and you're listening to this, your standards need to be high.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: They don't need to be perfect, but they need to be high.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think in our society, especially in especially in the Christian society, we can't be afraid to be like, nope, these these aren't suitable for me.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want you to understand, you're gonna make or break the promise that God has for your spouse, and your husband is gonna make or break the promise that God has for you.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes they go together.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to make sure that you're choosing a spouse that is supportive, not just in the chemistry, like they're attractive.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you want to make sure you're attracted to them, and you know, all that, but you want to make sure goal-wise, you're you're going in the same direction, and you also want to make sure, just I just can't emphasize that enough.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, you're gonna be the lid that limits, or you're gonna be the lifter that builds up and encourages, and um, I'm really going over my time, but I think I think I covered everything.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: But the last thing that I want to say is Abraham was tested to sacrifice Isaac, and it's so funny because pastors are like, yeah, but Abraham didn't tell Sarah, yada yada.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think Sarah knew.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I I think Sarah knew.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think for Sarah, it was a test on are you gonna control your husband?
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you gonna let me talking about God determine his decisions and you just partner with him?
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Think about it, guys.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: Abraham could have came to Sarah and could have been like, Oh my gosh, Sarah, you will never believe what God wants me to do.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: God wants me to sacrifice our only son.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Abraham could have been nervous.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I've seen, at least in Briston and I's life, I've seen God challenge Briston and test him for decisions.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: And Briston has come to me nervous and overthinking and just in his head about it.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: And and as a spouse, it's like, babe, like I gotta remind you, all the faithfulness that God has done in our life.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's gonna be okay.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I wonder for Abraham if he can't went to Sarah and he was like, babe, like God wants me to sacrifice Isaac.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, we just got him, like, we were doing good, all this stuff.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I wonder if Sarah's like, no, babe, you gotta do it.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is a test to see whose voice is Abraham gonna listen to.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is he gonna listen to God's voice?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: Or is he going to listen to his wife's voice?
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: And even for her, she could have said, do it, do it.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because she could have said, I trust God enough that even if he dies, because the hall of faith in Hebrews, it says she had the faith that God would have given her the power to conceive, the power to conceive.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe Sarah at that point understood Abraham, like God is not done with us, even if, even if Isaac dies, God's not done with us.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna follow this through.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe it was a testing point, not just for Abraham, but also for Sarah.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to tell you, there's gonna be testing points in your life, in your marriage, where you either can act like Jezebel and take control and manipulate and and not use godly wisdom.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can be like Sarah and say, Abraham, we're gonna get behind God on this because you're so secure in the fact that God is not just gonna use your husband, God's also gonna use you.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're so secure in the purpose that he has for your life.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really what I want to capture is that your purpose, I think for the past year, I was searching for a purpose outside my husband, guys.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like I say this out loud and I'm like, oh my gosh.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: I was searching for a purpose outside my family.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is Carly's purpose?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: As if I would find purpose outside of them.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: It makes no sense.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: But now I'm realizing with everything that's happened with Texas Outlaw, and Briston affirms this and and helps reassure me, I'm realizing that my purpose actually ties in with my husband.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it ties in with my family.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm searching for it outside of them, well, no, I'm not gonna find it.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_00: But if I am just obedient to God and submissive to him and patient, I'm going to find it within the realm of blessings that he's given me, which is a family and a husband.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm gonna find my purpose in that.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's all I got for you.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I want to pray that you would be challenged to really listen to the Lord's voice to delegate, not control as um a spouse.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I honestly might do a part two because I feel like there's a lot more to this topic of well, if I struggle with control and if I struggle with making decisions instead of letting my husband make decisions, and like how do I release that control and manipulation that I feel is so easy and strong in my life, and I kind of want to talk about that because I've seen it in different areas, I've struggled with it, and yeah, we just need to know, especially in this feminist obsessed world, that you know, our husbands might be leading the group, but we're still a part of the vision process, and we're still a part of the promise.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is part one.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed it.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know your thoughts.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to rate this five star rating.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, give it a review because it helps spread it to other people who might want to listen to this and uh share it with a friend.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to subscribe and follow.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: We do weekly podcasts, but I love you guys, and I will see y'all next week.