Latest / The Danger Zoo / Church Of the Last Light / The Warning

Transcript

Church Of the Last Light / The Warning · The Danger Zoo

0:03
Password accepted Welcome to the Danger zoo Welcome everyone to
0:10
the Danger Zoo. The department of anomalous and
0:12
non human genetic entities, reconnaissance and zoological
0:16
occult operations. I am Coyote your game warden and
0:20
we are back with the boys still using the dice Gramorium maps.
0:24
We are in the Appalachian Mountains, the foot of it in
0:27
Alabama, looking for pale coffin still, and allegedly we've heard
0:33
the white thing. Allegedly.
0:36
White thing. So I'm on the Alps.
0:41
Yes, the Himalayas. Hazy got a new weapon.
0:44
Hazy read your weapon and what has happened with it.
0:48
Uh. Oh, let's see, so description is
0:53
Climbers Keepers. It's a time worn but reliable
0:58
grappling hook passed down through generations of my Czech
1:01
travelling family. Originally acquired in quotation
1:05
marks by my great great grandfather after a neighbor
1:08
left his camper door open during a nap, it sounds like fair game.
1:14
Despite its questionable origin, Climbers Keepers has earned its
1:18
place in my family legend. Whether scaling walls, snatching
1:22
loot, or restraining suspicious Taurus purely for justice, of
1:26
course, this trusty tool gets the job done fast, quiet and
1:31
dirty. Very nice.
1:33
All right, so apparently it's a grappling hook that gives me +2
1:37
to climbing and stealing. Can also be used to restrain
1:40
enemies. They must make a flat DC save.
1:44
Sounds pretty dope. So like, am I like using it like
1:48
that ninja weapon where I can just like throw it out ahead of
1:50
me and just like steal shit with it?
1:52
Now it's like a grappling gun. You can only shoot this thing.
1:56
Nice. With what recoil?
1:59
No recoil but it does take a turn to like wind it back up so
2:03
don't miss. Sit there with the fishing reel.
2:06
Yeah, pretty much. What happened last time baby
2:10
Bird? Dude, we're in a gunfight.
2:16
There was a gunfight. Who's in a gunfight?
2:21
All of us. At least I think it's all of us.
2:24
I'm I'm in the black right now and I have tunnel vision.
2:27
I I I just remember jumping through some windows.
2:30
Yeah, so we met an old lady, baby bear, got down with her,
2:33
and then she told us to stay away from the coffin that we
2:36
were searching for. Went through some trails,
2:38
freaked out, Flash banged ourselves.
2:39
And no, we flashlighted ourselves.
2:42
Flash banged some squirrels and then burned some vines.
2:47
Got into the abandoned lumber mill town and Baby Bird went
2:52
around telling people we were here for taxes, which is like
2:55
the worst thing to say when you're out here.
3:00
All good Americans need to pay taxes.
3:03
OK, anyways, Hazy jumped out of the window because he was like F
3:08
this pretty kid. He jumped out the window because
3:10
he also didn't like this, and I jumped out of the window because
3:13
you shot me trying to shoot whatever this thing is.
3:17
All right, so that's what happened, baby bird.
3:20
You were gearing up because you said you were going to try and
3:22
shoot the door that jumped backwards to the window to the
3:26
South right. Yeah, I'm jumping through it
3:30
backwards, shooting the door at the same time.
3:33
All right, mission start. Well, before that happens, the
3:38
door got kicked in. He said fuck what you trying to
3:43
do. In walks a tall man.
3:48
He's about 6-3, like 240 lbs. He's tall, slender, unnervingly
3:54
youthful. But you could tell this man,
3:56
like looking at his eyes, he looks aged.
4:00
He's got a plain shirt on with a jacket, and it looks like pine
4:04
SAP is on his boots and his jeans.
4:06
He looks dirty. He looks like he's from the
4:09
mountains and as he steps in, this is what he looks like for
4:13
you guys. Looks like he's he's seen a
4:16
thing or two out here in the Mounties.
4:21
He walks in. He looks around.
4:22
He sees the broken glass from the windows, and he looks
4:26
directly at you. Baby, we're holding up a
4:27
shotgun, just you in the room. Everybody else is out.
4:31
And he says evening strangers. Oh, I'm Father Jeremiah's stone
4:37
path Keep her the last light and watch her these woods outsiders
4:43
don't tread on our mountain unless troubles come in or it's
4:47
already here. He asks you which one might you
4:52
be friend are. You threatening me?
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I don't like that calm tone of yours, Sir.
4:59
You're not even there, Hazy. You're out.
5:01
You're, you're hidden in the in the forest, remember?
5:06
I lick my lips and I sneer at them.
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Are you a taxpayer? He puts his hands up and he says
5:15
we all pay our taxes to our gods in one manner of another.
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That's good enough for me. I put my gun down and I walk up
5:24
to him and I stick my hand out and I'm trembling.
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He takes your hand in his a firm handshake like this man's got
5:33
farmer strength, like just a iron grasp, and he shakes it.
5:37
He says what can I do for you, stranger?
5:42
All right, so we're city folk and we got sent here to look for
5:49
the wild thing. White thing.
5:52
You hear, you hear hazy on the window to the West, 'cause he
5:56
went around and he just whispers in the window.
5:58
What did you whisper Hazy? White thing.
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I'm on the other window. I'm like, yeah, the white thing,
6:04
you fucking idiot. I.
6:05
Don't want to. I don't want to see this guy's
6:07
white thing. You already saw one white thing
6:09
from EULA. Ask him if he puts mustard on
6:12
his French fried. Taters, do you put mustard on
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your French fried taters? Well, friend, if you're asking
6:22
if I eat potatoes, I can assure you I do eat the bounty of the
6:26
earth. MMM.
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So you're Irish, I must say We're looking for the white
6:34
thing and a coffin A white a white coffin A.
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White, A white coffin. White thing.
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Hold on, let me look at the dialogue tree here.
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Where y'all keep all the white women at?
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Then spotting words. At the mention of the white
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thing, Jeremiah's eyes widen and his grasp on your hand is a
7:01
death grip. You can't get released and he
7:05
pulls you in close. And a judy's hoss.
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He whispers to you. The white judge walks these
7:12
woods tonight. It watches over the resting
7:15
dead. If you move that coffin, it'll
7:18
come for you first. And the Mountain boy don't grant
7:22
second warnings. He didn't brush his teeth.
7:27
Tell him to tell you where the coffin is so you can stay away
7:29
from it. And then he lets your hand go.
7:32
And then from the window to the east where I am, you just hear.
7:38
Uh oh. You got a rapper around here.
7:42
You can't say that. You got a molester around here.
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You got a Michael Jackson around here.
7:49
There's a Bill Cosby's up in here.
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Hey, no, there's no proof. You got some Danny Mathesons.
7:55
I'm on a ninja vanish without trace into the tree behind me.
7:59
Give me a stealth check. Oh, 19.
8:04
Oh no, you also are the kidnapped.
8:07
Give me a kidnapped noise. Double diesel.
8:12
It's not like you strangled a dog.
8:18
As that happens. Jeremiah looks down at you.
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Baby bird. He's released your hand, and he
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stares at you. Well, it sounds like my friends
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may have found your friends. They're not very friendly.
8:31
So tell me, do you plan on finding this coffin or do you
8:36
plan on going home where it's safe?
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You're talking to you, baby bird.
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Do something. They got me.
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I don't get gutted. After he's done, he's done
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pissing himself. I'm going to jump backwards
8:49
through the window give. Me an athletics check he.
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Said Avante. 19. Nice, like it's effortless.
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You could jump backwards looking at this man as you stick up 1
9:03
middle finger at him through the window you go.
9:07
Now give me a deck saving throw. 13 Is that a buff woman?
9:14
All right, you fall out the Yeah, you fall out this window
9:17
and standing right next to you is a young child with a Plaid
9:22
kind of hoodie on with blue jeans, kind of dirty.
9:25
They stand like 5 foot 3. You could tell they're about
9:28
15-16 years old. And there's a white cross
9:33
painted on their face, what looks to be white pine tree SAP.
9:38
But because it's just a kid, you see it and you kind of push the
9:41
kid off. You stiff arm them and you take
9:43
off. You going West I'm assuming?
9:47
Yeah, that's the only way that's not blocked.
9:48
I scramble. You had 10 feet to the West and
9:52
you see Hazy, who is being held by an elderly gentleman who has
9:57
this long dirty robe on. He's got a crow's feet around
10:01
his neck, he's got a cane, and he also has faces painted on
10:05
him. If we weren't in the Appalachian
10:07
Mountains, I would say he looks like somebody from Dark Lotus.
10:10
I was just going to say, I was like, I'm going to yell Lotus.
10:14
But this guy has Hazy and a full Nelson.
10:19
Oh, rude. Push that dirty old fucker off
10:22
you. I know the ultimate counter is a
10:26
full Nelson, though. That's not going to get me.
10:29
All right. What are you guys doing?
10:31
I'm going to kick him in the balls from behind.
10:34
Give me an attack roll. Hell yeah.
10:38
What would that be? A melee.
10:40
Yeah. 15. All right, you kicked him and he
10:45
just, the old man just crumples to the ground.
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You don't touch me. No means no.
10:53
No means no. Night owl, you there?
10:56
Yep. All right, as night owl is here.
10:59
So night owl, just to give you your background, you are not a
11:02
part of the Danger Zoo group. You night owl here has come in
11:08
with another mercenary group who was hired to also get the
11:13
coffin, but he was hired to get the coffin and sell it to the
11:16
highest bidder. However, Jeremiah's, these
11:19
mountain folk have also kidnapped him.
11:22
And Jeremiah walks out there. They've got night owl just tied
11:25
up against this tree here. And Jeremiah walks out the front
11:29
door and he comes around here to the West side.
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He sees Hazy and he sees you, baby bird down here by the South
11:34
entrance. You guys are kind of surrounded.
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They still got that kid to the east of you.
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And this guy Jeremiah says maybe everybody calm down here before
11:44
your friend here gesturing to night owl before your friend
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here gets in even more trouble. Remember, you guys don't know
11:53
the night owl at all. So whatever response you want to
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do, you can. I'm pretty sure I just
11:58
surrounded your boys nuts with my fucking foot, so advantage
12:03
me. That sounds hot.
12:07
I guess that is an. Advantage to you.
12:08
But as he's talking, this big girthy 5 foot 11240 lbs of solid
12:14
muscle woman just drags me from the other side of the building
12:18
around here and you notice I'm not super fighting it.
12:23
Oh shit, they got they, they got their own Helga.
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I'm just like, Oh no, they captured me.
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I what? What do I do?
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And like I'm, my hands are held together.
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Were his pants always that tight?
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Right, almost like he's enjoying it.
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I'm holding my hands together, they're not even tied.
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And I'm like, please, somebody save this guy here who's not me
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and I'll save myself at a later time and date.
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I don't think he wants to be saved.
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No, probably not. Holy World perception.
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All right, Night Owl, do you want to try and do a sleight of
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hand to see if you can get out of these ropes binding you to
13:03
the tree? Yeah, that sounds like a good
13:06
idea. It is also kind of a dead tree.
13:09
If you want to do like a strength roll, you could try to
13:11
Hulk out of them, but that might not work as well.
13:14
What am I tied up with? Rope or just zip ties?
13:17
That's rope. Son of a bitch, they.
13:20
Don't have technology out here? Hey.
13:25
They've made this rope passed down by generations.
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Considerations. It's made out of grass.
13:31
Anyways, night night out, go ahead and yeah, do what you're
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doing. OK, yeah, I'm going to do
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Sleight of Hand to try to get out of these a 14 + 3 Dexterity,
13:44
so 17. Dang, yeah, OK.
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Yeah, like the ropes are off of you, they don't even notice it,
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and you're free. What do you want to do?
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They're pretty. They're pretty weak in the balls
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area. Just the old man you kicked was.
14:02
Which one of these guys tied me up?
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There are a group of people here.
14:08
Oh I see, I'm pretty close to that older guy.
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I can try knocking him out. Jeremiah, you can take a swing
14:15
at him. He's their leader.
14:18
So Jeremiah is to the West of him, I'm directly to the east of
14:21
him. And this female is like right
14:23
behind me, just holding me, not very tight either.
14:27
I'm just kind of sitting here enjoying my life.
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She's guiding you. Honey, I let you go minutes ago.
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We don't talk about that. Don't ruin our moment.
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She's actually got like an arm, like leaned around me and I'm
14:44
just like holding on to the muscle, like squeezing on it.
14:46
I'm like flex again, do it again.
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I don't. Oh, I do have a knife.
14:52
Yeah. I'm going to try to stab him.
14:55
Yeah, try and give him a stab. The old stabbing.
14:59
Back up, let me practice my stabbing.
15:03
I roll AD 20 for that. Yes, so that you're going to
15:07
roll AD 20 for everyone. This is night owls.
15:09
Like first time playing D&D. You're going to roll AD 20 and
15:13
whatever it lands will tell you if the attack hits and then
15:16
you'll roll a different dice for damage.
15:20
I got a 13 + 1 those drinks so 14.
15:25
Oh you go to stab him and he just quick hands.
15:29
He disarms you, takes the knife from you and throws you out away
15:33
from him. He throws you South and you run
15:36
into Hazy. Whoa.
15:38
Damn. Sly dog.
15:41
He's fast for an old man. Oh yeah.
15:45
I go that was lightning fast as I run by.
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Everyone roll for initiative now.
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Fuck, I'm going to say no one touches this guy I just met.
15:55
What's initiative? So initiative is going to
15:59
determine what order everybody goes in.
16:02
So right now you're going to roll AD 20 and just it and
16:04
you're going to give me the numbers of the D20.
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I got a 17. I got an 11.
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Baby bird. 3. All right, so it's going to go
16:18
night owl, it's going to go Hazy, it's going to go Jeremiah,
16:21
it's going to go that little kid, then it's going to go baby
16:24
bird, and then it's going to be the big girl behind me.
16:25
So Night Owl make a move. We are in a combat scenario.
16:29
You get to make one action. Sometimes you can do combination
16:33
actions, but those you have to roll higher.
16:37
OK, I got a compound bow. Yeah, but.
16:41
You didn't have your compound in your hand, so it would take a
16:44
moment to get it out. You can you can take your turn
16:48
to ready your compound. Yeah, I'll do that.
16:52
Would that be the same for me if I'm trying to use my grappling
16:54
hook but I take a turn just to get it ready?
16:56
Now grappling hook is like on your belt, you just snatch that
16:58
thing off and bang you weren't tied up 5 minutes ago.
17:02
Now I got you and then. So what are you doing?
17:08
Who oh is it? Me.
17:09
Yeah. It's you, Yeah.
17:11
Oh shit, mother, can I see the the little kid on the bottom
17:14
here from the South from where I'm at?
17:17
Unless you can see through buildings now.
17:19
Fuck, let me but all the windows are smashed through.
17:21
We all jump through them. Do I not have a line of sight?
17:25
No, it doesn't look like you have a line of sight.
17:27
Son of a bitch. All right, I am going to try to
17:33
grapple up. How tall is this tree that's
17:36
everybody's huddled around? It's a pretty tall tree, but
17:39
it's kind of like dead. Looks pretty shitty.
17:44
It's about 15 feet high. OK, fuck it, I'm just going to
17:50
apparently use my hook to at least get on the building right
17:54
here to my right. But the building we were just
17:57
in? Yeah, like on top of it.
17:58
Can I get on like the roof? Yeah, give me a roll.
18:01
Do the +2. Use your climbers keepers.
18:04
That's D20, just +2. I mean, it's going to be
18:07
athletics with that as well. Athletics.
18:11
OK, COVID-19. Nice.
18:15
Yeah, You see all this and like a cowardly Batman, you're like,
18:19
I'm out and you're up on the roof.
18:23
Hey, it's called strategy, Sir. What is the strategy here?
18:28
Run. All right, all right.
18:30
I'm trying to get a better position to do what I wanted to
18:32
do. As as you 2 are doing that
18:35
Jeremiah puts his hands up and he's like friends.
18:38
Friends take a beat. No one here is trying to hurt
18:43
anyone. We found this young gentleman
18:46
and his comrades also look for the coffin.
18:50
We warned him but they didn't listen.
18:53
It wasn't my people that took care of his friends.
18:57
All we did was simply tie him up.
19:00
Was going to leave him here till morning so he can see the error
19:03
of his ways and go home safely. That sounds believable.
19:12
If you give us the coffin, your place will be safe dude.
19:17
Just give it up, it'll be fine. Jeremiah looks at you and he
19:20
says that the coffin is not mine to give we praise.
19:26
The white. Legends.
19:28
The Great Buffalo. And we don't interfere.
19:31
No, not the Buffalo. We do not interfere in their
19:34
works. You talk about the KKK.
19:37
That about seems kind of racist. Yeah, just a little.
19:41
No, you misunderstand me. We're talking about the Wyatt
19:44
sang. Yeah, a a monster, a legend.
19:48
The wild The wild thing. Isn't that a song?
19:52
What is with you booty ass? People, wasn't that Charlie
19:58
Sheen in that one movie? Yeah, with the tiger blood.
20:01
Yeah, the green monster. Oh my.
20:04
God baby bird. Witcher AC. 19.
20:10
OK, as you're just yelling stupid shit to this to Jeremiah,
20:15
this little Native American looking kid comes up here and
20:17
whacks you in the back of the head with.
20:20
Oh. Christ, it looks like an anchor.
20:23
And he does, but he does one way damage to the back of your
20:25
noggin. Just.
20:27
He said check yourself code. Give me give me some native
20:30
slurs. No, when that happens, the big
20:36
muscular woman. God damn Pocahontas the.
20:39
Big muscular woman sees this happen and she looks at she
20:43
looks at the young child and she says sister Joanne back down and
20:49
the little Native American girl says, I'm sorry, sister Suzanne.
20:52
And this girl boof just disappears into the woods.
20:56
Damn she's fast as fuck. Sister Suzanne up here, she also
21:00
puts her hands up. She goes.
21:01
We're sorry, strangers. We meant no harm by this.
21:04
We are just here to give warning.
21:08
You look like you work out to harm people.
21:11
Is the old man still rolling around like?
21:13
He's just kind of laying there. He's not really doing anything.
21:16
He's he's old. Oh my God, you killed him.
21:18
You see a light, a light blinking on his chest.
21:20
It's his life alert. Help my phone.
21:24
I can't get up. That's why you should always
21:26
have two life alerts on your persons.
21:29
Sister Suzanne comes down and she picks up the older gentleman
21:32
and pulls him back over here and she kind of like pushes me out
21:35
of the way and I'm like, oh, come on.
21:37
A piece. Oh, anyways, I guess I'll go
21:40
back with my friends now and I walk down here with you guys.
21:43
I'm like, what are we doing? Where where did you go?
21:45
I didn't see you go up on the roof.
21:48
I would do one of my famous backflips.
21:51
And perky knee. Give give me a roll for
21:55
athletics. Acrobatics, I mean.
21:58
Oh my leg, you. Said Acrobatics.
22:02
Yes, Sir. Nice A4.
22:06
Now it's 12. OK, as you're doing that, you
22:09
land just barely, you don't eat shit, the rest of us are looking
22:14
at you jumping off, and then we all look back to where Jeremiah
22:18
and the big muscular girl and the old man are, and they are
22:22
all gone. Son of a bitch.
22:25
Good job distracting us, AC. Yeah, you just watched me jump
22:29
off. Yeah, because you were on a
22:32
roof. Something above me is flipping
22:34
in the air. I'm going to look at that.
22:36
I got to practice my skills bro. This isn't the time.
22:40
All right, so that's weird. I think I actually heard of
22:44
these religious zealots though. Anybody want me to do like an
22:49
Intel role for you guys? Yeah, no.
22:53
You got it. I love.
22:56
I love to walk blindly into situations.
22:58
My dad. I know I've played this game
23:00
with you before. Hey Coyote, do you know anything
23:05
about these people that we're all fucking with?
23:07
I look at you and I go, no, no, I wrote a net 20, so hold on.
23:14
Yeah. So I think he said he was from
23:16
the Church of the Last Light. They're a secret of Appalachian
23:19
woodland gospel sect. Their motto is for when the
23:21
world grows dim, the last light shall judge the living.
23:25
They are radical. They're an isolationist
23:29
religious sect hidden deep in the Appalachian foothills.
23:31
They're not here in Alabama. I don't know why they're this
23:35
far South. I think they're actually up in
23:37
West Virginia. Oh shit, we are fucked.
23:41
Yes. The only reason I know of them
23:43
is due to a family that's up in Johnson City.
23:46
They refer to the white thing as apparently the white Judge, and
23:50
they worship him. What the hell does this thing
23:53
look like? The white judge.
23:55
Yes. Like a penis.
23:57
It's like a cross. 1970 Pontiac. It's a cross between Bigfoot and
24:03
like a mountain. Cat.
24:05
Oh great. Also, the painted faces with
24:10
pine SAP was also a dead giveaway that they are the last
24:14
light. That was that was the dead
24:16
giveaway. Yeah, it's kind of their
24:18
signature move, but they said we should leave.
24:22
They said we should leave, we can't leave.
24:26
Yeah, there's so many more rooms to explore.
24:29
Yeah, there's lots of, lots of places here.
24:30
What are we doing? I like in room since all the
24:33
other people I came with are dead now.
24:36
Oh yeah. Hey, yeah, you're a new guy.
24:38
Can I drink your clothes? That sucks.
24:40
Your friends are dead. You want a job.
24:42
Sure, you're hired. Wait like that?
24:47
Just like that, I don't need a background check.
24:49
Oh. Easy peasy.
24:51
Your entire team was wiped out. You're what's known in the
24:54
industry as the protagonist, so I'm going to keep you.
24:58
There's one that's always going to live.
25:00
Exactly. Hazy.
25:02
He used to be our intern and then he died and he had a whole
25:04
bunch of luck. And I don't know how he died
25:06
with as much luck as he had, but he did so.
25:08
I'm a high dog. I know how you died, I just
25:11
don't know how it was physically possible to have happened.
25:14
I made sure it happened. I'm fine now.
25:17
I was there. Happy Halloween.
25:20
What are you guys doing? I actually I got a big Boo Boo
25:24
around my neck from where that girl like choked me out and I
25:26
got to clean my pants. So I'm going to take a break
25:31
while you guys do your thing. Great.
25:33
Is that what you call it? Sounds about right.
25:37
I'm going to head back into this house that we kicked the door
25:39
off of and I'm going to nurse my wounds.
25:42
So is that the only place you all looked in?
25:44
Yes. Yeah, there wasn't anything in.
25:46
Well, baby bird, you found a note in there, right?
25:49
Oh yeah, I did. What did it say?
25:51
I don't remember what it said, man.
25:54
God damn it. We we found all the windows.
25:58
They're not windows anymore. We jumped into every window.
26:01
Just holes. Yeah, they're just holes now.
26:04
The note that Baby Bird found this is his conscience reminding
26:07
him it said. The white thing is in the lodge.
26:12
That's where it's den is. Don't go in the scribbling.
26:16
The Lodge. We got to go in the lodge.
26:19
I remember now let's. Go to that fucking lodge.
26:23
Where's the lodge at? Cool.
26:27
Is it that big ass building to the North East?
26:30
Don't know, we're just in this abandoned mining tale.
26:34
Y'all want to go to the big building?
26:36
Let's do it. Fuck it, let's go.
26:39
Baby bird, you said you're going.
26:41
Where are you going? Going to the big one all.
26:45
Right. So you guys are going to skip
26:47
every single building here and head northeast and you guys are
26:51
going to enter. That's what he no, that's what.
26:55
That's one person. That's what he said.
26:57
You're right, baby bird. You're going NE hazy.
27:00
What are you doing? I was going to say I was going
27:02
to go and at least like fall behind and look through the
27:05
window right here in the middle of that next building to the
27:08
north, so. You're going to go north and
27:10
look in this building, you see all the windows are dirty.
27:13
You can't see shit through the windows.
27:15
Break it. Yeah, but I say just I'm going
27:17
to punch that shit. Punch that shit, give me a role
27:22
for investigation. Investigation, all right.
27:25
Why he's doing that night out? What you doing?
27:27
I guess we're going to look in these buildings to the
27:29
northwest. I rolled A10 by the way are.
27:34
You going inside or are you just looking at it?
27:37
No, I'm just going to stare at the wall and hope it opens.
27:40
I'm going to go inside. All right, you're going to go to
27:43
the north entrance of it, and you're going to walk inside.
27:46
Hazy. Yeah, you bust the window and
27:48
it's so dark you only see like 5 feet and you don't see anything
27:51
in there. I have fucking night vision,
27:53
don't I? No, you don't.
27:55
Did I lose that? You lost that.
27:57
Sons of bitches, I'm afraid of the dark, so I'm going to move.
28:03
Move right along. OK, moving right along, where
28:06
you going Hazy? I guess I'm going to follow baby
28:11
bird all. Right follow Baby Bird.
28:13
You go all the way up there to him.
28:16
Baby Bird and Hazy give me perception roles real quick.
28:20
Night out. What are you doing in this
28:21
building while they're doing that?
28:23
Search around see if I can find anything.
28:26
It's a tiny little building. You walk in, you see one more
28:28
door that seems to lead to a bedroom, but you can't make out
28:31
anything because the door is so small.
28:33
But the room you're in doesn't have a whole lot.
28:35
There's a couple crates, there's a barrel, and there's some
28:37
broken wood on the floor. Tell me where in this building
28:41
you would like to look for stuff.
28:44
Let's go in the other room then all.
28:47
Right. You go in the other room and
28:49
you're investigating here. Go ahead and give me an
28:51
investigation roll. Which one is that?
28:53
D20. Yeah.
28:56
It's going to be AD 20 plus your intelligence which is 0.
29:00
You got nothing. Gun for hire.
29:03
You don't know Dick. I'm just stupid so I got a 16.
29:09
God damn, even for 16, you're you're in here.
29:12
You don't know anything, but due to the trauma that you went
29:15
through with all your teammates dying from this monster that was
29:18
just killing them from the dark. You fill a pool from not, not
29:22
your soul necessarily, but like the energy deep inside you and
29:26
next to the bed you, you feel a pulse just and you see a nail
29:32
sitting on top of this crate and the nail's not moving, but it
29:35
feels like it's calling to you. I want it.
29:40
Grab that nail. Grabbing it hold.
29:42
On let me pull up which nail that is.
29:44
Oh shit. Yeah.
29:46
Oh shit, probably right. Book.
29:49
What do I tell you about grabbing nails that you don't
29:52
know? I haven't learned my lesson yet.
29:54
Well, apparently nothing, because I'm the new guy.
29:58
That's true. Which nail did you pick up?
30:03
Nope. Not that one.
30:04
No. Oh, oh, oh.
30:06
No. You as soon as you pick it up,
30:09
give me a deck saving throw. You're going to roll AD 20 and
30:11
add your decks to it. That kind of happens when curses
30:17
or something you're not supposed to touch gets touched.
30:22
Dexterity is what, 8 three? So I got a 19.
30:28
Oh dope, so within a 20 foot radius of you.
30:33
When you pick it up, everything just goes quiet.
30:37
No talking, no footsteps. You don't hear creatures during
30:41
the silence. You can faintly hear children
30:43
crying and a woman humming in Appalachian lullaby.
30:47
Oh, we're in the Appalachian Mountains.
30:50
Yeah. Ding, Ding, Ding.
30:52
Oh fuck me. But you kind of just shake off
30:56
the head, like you're still dealing with a lot of trauma, so
30:58
nothing's really like none of this information is really
31:01
seeping in. You shake your head and shake it
31:02
off and all sound comes right back to you and you're just
31:05
holding this nail and you don't know what it is about this nail,
31:09
but you do not want to let it go.
31:11
I guess I'll just put it in my pocket then.
31:14
Put it in that pocket. You just rub it in that pocket.
31:17
What did you girls get for Perception?
31:20
Oh, I had a a not 20. Dang.
31:24
I had a four. As you're walking by this well
31:28
heading up well heading up to the lodge hazy, you see a nail
31:33
floating in the well there. Grab that nail.
31:36
Grab that nail, you're gonna grab it with your cursed arm to
31:38
give a + 5 to whatever you roll. Fuck yeah, Yeah.
31:43
'Cause I thought about that first.
31:45
So when you go to grab nails, or whenever you go to grab a cursed
31:48
object, you got to be specific and say you're grabbing it with
31:51
your spectral grasp. No, I got you.
31:53
I will definitely do that. Give me AD 20 check.
31:57
And I am doing that now. So that's a + 5.
32:00
Yeah there. Oh fuck me.
32:03
Still I got 15. Oh, that's fine.
32:07
When you pick it up, vines shoot out of the well.
32:09
Like reaching and grasping like tentacles from a really good
32:13
anime or Cthulhu. Oh, when you grabbed that nail,
32:17
you grabbed it with your spectral grasp, so it literally
32:20
just phases through your arm due to not having a corporeal arm.
32:24
And you just look at these things trying to grab you and
32:26
just slowly bring your arm in to yourself.
32:29
And then the all the roots just fall back into the well.
32:33
They don't fall as in like they're sucked back in, but they
32:35
just kind of dry up and die and crumble back in.
32:38
They don't want that. They don't want the smoke.
32:41
What the hell? You also look at this nail and
32:44
you're like, I don't want to let this nail go.
32:46
What are you going to do with that now?
32:48
I'm going to put it in my mouth like a toothpick.
32:52
That's gross. Chew on that nail.
32:55
That's how you get tetanus. Night out, what are you doing?
33:02
Do you have comms with you guys? Yeah, before you walked off, I
33:06
gave you our radio frequency. I keep the radio and say hey I
33:10
found it now find any other ones.
33:14
No, mind your business. Damn.
33:18
I go over the radio. Yeah, there's lots of nails in
33:21
here. This place is like a rundown
33:22
shack. I could pull a nail out of the
33:24
floorboard, right? Oh no, I cut my finger.
33:28
I guess I'll go jump through the window.
33:30
Hazy. Knocked out.
33:33
Yeah, we don't use doors around here.
33:35
You got damn right. I mean, it's already broken, so
33:38
why not all? Right.
33:39
You exit north of this building. You you head east and then you
33:44
head South around to the window where the hazy, knocked out,
33:48
you're going to jump through it. No, just climb through.
33:52
I'm old. There's there's also a door to
33:56
the North End. You don't have to do everything
33:58
Hazy does. Yeah, it's already there all.
34:01
Right. Give me an athletics roll.
34:04
AD 20. Yep, and that's going to be your
34:08
strength added to it. 15. Oh yeah, you climb through
34:13
there. You're in, baby bird.
34:15
What are you doing? I just finished burying some C4
34:19
right outside the door. Meanwhile.
34:22
God damn it, baby bird. Baby bird's doing baby bird
34:28
shit. Don't mind Did.
34:31
You not learn from the Wendigo episode?
34:36
No, this time this is a contingency because things keep
34:43
going wrong. OK, when when you walk?
34:46
Up to this looming tower, it's a two-story abandoned building
34:52
with a not a completely wrap around porch, but it's wrapped
34:55
around this South side here and it goes up the east side.
34:58
Are you putting it on the ground in front of the porch or on the
35:02
porch or where? OK, so where the stairs go up
35:06
into the porch? Yeah.
35:08
On either side where the stairs meet the porch on the ground, on
35:13
one on each side. OK.
35:17
You plant 2C fours in there. Yeah, yeah.
35:22
Fuck yeah. Hazy, what are you doing?
35:25
I saw I'm, I'm like paying attention.
35:27
I saw where he put those right. Yes.
35:29
OK. Yeah, play close attention this
35:32
day, please, because I'm not going to remember when I hit the
35:35
trigger. You you should.
35:38
While he's doing that, I'm going to, you know, survey the area
35:42
and see this building next to me in the southeast.
35:45
I'm going to kick the door in go in that one.
35:48
Go SE what, 20 feet to it and kick that door and give me an
35:51
athletics check. Oh, dirty 21, obviously.
35:58
OK you kick that door in and you look inside it is a like 10 by
36:05
10 shack with barrel and couple broken crates.
36:10
Nothing and not really important looking in here.
36:14
Well, I see a window, I'm going to jump out the back door or
36:17
jump out the back window. All right, you go through, jump
36:21
out the back window, give me an athletics at disadvantage.
36:24
Oh. So disadvantage night owl is you
36:30
roll AD 20 twice and you have to take the lower number.
36:34
But I still use my athletics. You sure do.
36:38
Oh shit, OK, Oh fuck, you said the lower number.
36:42
Yes, Sir. Got you.
36:45
God damn it a four. All right, so you crashed
36:49
through here and you didn't notice it because the windows
36:54
are dirty. You smashed your face into a
36:56
Conex box and you are now unconscious on the ground out
37:01
here. Hold on.
37:05
Fucking nerd. You take five points of damage.
37:08
God damn I put myself off. Head first.
37:12
You even put your arms out. That's called commitment, Sir.
37:18
Oh man, I I hear a loud through the woods and I come out to take
37:23
a look and see what's going on. I see Night Owl through the
37:26
window here and I walk up and I'm like, hey, what are you
37:28
doing? Just trying to find shit.
37:32
I reach in and I hand them a flashlight.
37:35
Oh, thanks. Hey, man.
37:38
Don't be a bitch, jump in there with.
37:39
Them you guys are so nice. I'm not heading in there.
37:42
Fuck that. Oh, coward.
37:45
Yeah, no, I'm not going in that building.
37:47
I don't need anything. I'm going to go see what that
37:49
loud noise was. You good?
37:51
Yeah, I'm good. I'm going to search around here.
37:54
All right, I head north, I see the well, I see Baby Bird
37:58
digging in the dirt, and I walk up and I see him planning C4 and
38:01
I just take a step back and I'm like, all right, I know what's
38:03
going to happen here. Baby bird, what are you doing
38:05
now? That's called foreshadowing.
38:09
I'm going to shoot the door with my.
38:11
Why don't you try to see if it's unlocked first?
38:14
First off, you didn't even go on the porch yet.
38:16
Yeah. Why don't you not shoot right
38:19
next to hot explosives? Oh, the porch is big.
38:22
And I thought, dude. That porch is big as shit.
38:26
All right, yeah, I'm going to go up onto the porch.
38:28
I'm going to pull up my shotgun. See if the door is unlocked
38:31
first. He doesn't do that.
38:35
God damn it, baby bird. No, I'm going to bust that door
38:40
open with the butt of my shotgun.
38:42
All right, give me athletics with that one or that's going to
38:47
be a melee. Yeah, Melee.
38:50
Where we're going, we don't need doors.
38:53
It's my strength. It's my strength.
38:57
I was 3/9. You, you go to, you go to hit
39:02
the door with it and you smash the butt against it, but you
39:05
didn't have a good grip on your shotgun and it kind of flings
39:08
behind you and it almost hits me in the face and it falls off the
39:10
porch. That door is intact.
39:15
I jiggle the doorknob. The door opens, it's unlocked.
39:20
OK, I go get my shotgun, God damn it.
39:23
I pick up your shotgun and I hand it to you like you're an
39:25
idiot. What did I say?
39:28
OK, now I hit it with my shotgun so it flies open.
39:31
You already opened Roll with advantage since you already
39:35
opened it. As he's doing that, I hit the
39:36
radio and I'm like hey guys, we're we're here.
39:40
Baby Bird already opened the door.
39:42
Is everybody copy? Copy.
39:49
Hazy give me a saving throw. So saving throw night owls when
39:55
you roll AD 20 and you add your constitution.
39:58
Oh, OK. 14. OK, Hazy, you set up with the
40:03
just the biggest lump right on your forehead and you're a
40:06
little confused where you are but slowly coming back to you.
40:11
Feeling a little concussed, boys, I'll be all right.
40:15
Comics boxes will do that. That's cool man, Nothing new.
40:18
Right on, right on. I like where your head's at.
40:22
Night out, what are you doing? Searching here to see if I can
40:25
find anything. All right, give me an
40:27
investigation. Roll oof 5.
40:32
Oh, yeah, Do you? You don't see anything in there.
40:34
You're just looking around. Just looks like broken down
40:37
Shaq. Shit.
40:40
But there there is a door into the rest of the building.
40:43
You're just kind of like in a back storage room it looks like.
40:47
Oh, I guess I'll look around in the other part of the room.
40:51
All right, you go to open that door and it is locked.
40:54
Oh. My only weakness all.
41:00
Right, I turn the baby bird. I'm like, hey, are we waiting
41:02
for them or are we just headed in?
41:04
I rolled in 18, so I slammed that fucker open and I turn to
41:11
you and I say we're going in. All right, let's go in.
41:18
I'm right behind you, boss. Is it sanitary?
41:23
I run inside really fast and I turn around as fast as I can.
41:26
Oh my God, don't do that. No situation awareness.
41:32
I'm fucking scared dude. Give me a luck check at
41:36
disadvantage you fucking idiot. Fucking flagging the shit out of
41:40
him. Oh, I rolled a 14 twice.
41:43
That's crazy. Thank God.
41:45
All right, before you do that, let me tell you what this place
41:50
looks like. Hold on.
41:52
I, I got to, I got to see the odds of this.
41:55
Anyways, he bangs open the door. He goes running in there.
41:59
There is a giant hole in the ground and he just barely stops
42:04
before he falls in the hole. The lodge is warped.
42:07
Front doors groaned as he slammed it open, releasing a
42:10
wave of thick, humid air that smells of wet wood, mildew, and
42:14
long soaked rot. Inside, the floorboards sag
42:18
under years of water damage, scattered with splintered planks
42:22
and debris. A wide hole yawns in the center
42:25
of the main room, its edges softened and darkened by decay.
42:28
The remains of a barrel shaped tub sit cracked nearby and the
42:32
shattered windows lit in only sluggish sticky wind that sticks
42:36
to the fallen leaves and dust. Did you mean debris?
42:41
No, I meant debris. OK, anyways, the smell makes me
42:44
throw the fuck up. Projectile vomit.
42:51
All right, you throw up. Also that was a one in 400
42:55
chance. Nice.
42:57
Hey, Z, what are you doing? I'm going to get up, click my
43:02
thoughts, light a cigarette and then the the building to the the
43:07
South of me. I'm just going to see the
43:08
closest window and jump through it.
43:12
OK, so you're taking a smoke break first?
43:14
Go ahead and give me AD 4 roll to see how much health you get
43:17
back from chillaxing. 3. OK, you get 3 points of health,
43:24
so you're only down to right now.
43:26
Nice. And you're going to go to the
43:28
building to the South, you said. Yes, Sir, because I'm still kind
43:33
of out of it. I'm just in action mode.
43:37
OK, Yeah, You come down here to the South and there's like a
43:40
chimney here. There's really no windows to
43:43
this building. I'm going to ninja climb the
43:46
chimney and drop down it. All right, Santa Claus.
43:50
Usually climbers keepers and tell me what you get night out
43:53
what are you doing with that locked door I'm.
43:56
Going to try to break it down all.
43:58
Right. Give me an athletics check.
43:59
Kick that fucker in. Stream Oh I got 18.
44:07
Bang, you kick that door in off the hinges, and now you're in
44:12
this really tiny little hallway here.
44:14
If you go to the east there, there's a front door in front of
44:16
you. But you head into the room just
44:18
a little bit. You see a chimney and some
44:20
crates. All the crates are kind of
44:21
busted open. You see a rat scurry across the
44:24
ground and on your foot and then out from a broken window to the
44:27
north. Yep, I'm getting the fuck out of
44:31
here. All right, go check that front
44:34
door. It's locked.
44:37
Son of a bitch. Use the window.
44:40
Baby bird, what are you doing? I'm.
44:42
Going to jump a flash bang in the hole.
44:45
All right, before you do that hazy, how's that climbing going?
44:50
Oh so OK. Do I add athletics or Acrobat or
44:53
anything or just advantage? Athletics.
44:56
OK so I got a 18. Oh yeah, you climb up like you
45:02
hit that grappling pick and it was like Batman Arkham City.
45:05
You like shot up and then fell straight down it like you were
45:07
Santa Claus. Hell yeah.
45:09
And you just fell out just and actually you rolled so well when
45:14
that happens, something on the barrels over here just kind of
45:17
falls on the ground. Mine and it's just.
45:24
It's this piece of wood but it is pristine with carvings on it
45:29
like someone just placed it there.
45:31
There's no rot, it's it's not waterlogged, nothing.
45:34
It looks like perfectly carved and just very out of place and
45:39
it has a circle with about 5 lines drawn through it.
45:42
Kind of looks like the Blair Witch symbol.
45:45
Can I investigate like the area around it?
45:48
Do you grab it or are you just looking around it?
45:51
No, I want it like if it looks out of place I want to
45:53
investigate the area around it. Sure, give me an investigation
45:56
rule. If you grab it, grab it with
45:59
your freaky arm you have. Yeah, why are you doing that,
46:03
baby bird? I follow in behind you and I
46:05
just walk up to you and I see you pull out a flash bang and
46:08
I'm like, hold on, Are you sure this is what you want to do?
46:12
I don't respond and I throw it in the hole.
46:18
Don't tell me how to live my life.
46:21
If I stare at it fast enough, I'll be able to see a very
46:25
minute detailed picture in my head before I go blind.
46:30
And then lose all eyesight and hearing.
46:33
All right, you throw it in there before it goes off as it's
46:36
leaving your hand, you all hear. The fuck was that?
46:46
As I throw it into the hole. That's what she said.
46:52
Oh, I'm already out the door it. Sounds intriguing, Sir.
46:57
Throw it into the hole and where you hear that sound is not in
47:00
the hole. You hear that sound right behind
47:04
us, baby bird. Turn around, start blasting.
47:10
That thought just crossed my mind, but no, I'm going to run
47:14
out. I'm going to run out because I
47:16
have a contingency plan. All right, throw the flash.
47:21
What'd you roll for? The flash bang throw.
47:24
I rolled a 15. OK, so you go to throw it.
47:29
You see the pale coughing teetering on the hole right in
47:34
front of us, and as you throw that flash bang, it goes.
47:37
Bang. And all of a sudden, that coffin
47:41
tilts and falls into the hole. Good job.
47:47
Smooth move XX. 123 not it. It's a good thing somebody has a
47:51
grappling hook. No, I've already said not it.
47:54
Give me a perception roll for you, baby bird. 13 OK?
47:59
As that coffin's falling, you know.
48:01
No. +1141414. 14. Come on, come on, come on, come
48:04
on. You notice as the coffin was
48:07
falling, the lid wasn't fully secure to it and it looked like
48:11
it was missing a nail. In the top right corner you can
48:14
see all the other nail holes, but you did see one nail hole.
48:19
There was just something about that.
48:20
Hole. Just that hole hazy.
48:25
What did your investigation come up with?
48:28
8. All right, Yeah.
48:30
You just see that this place is really dusty and dirty and gross
48:33
and rotten and mildewy and this thing doesn't look like anything
48:37
in here. Touch it.
48:39
Grab it with my cool hand all. Right, grab it with your cool
48:42
hand, you pick it up, nothing happens.
48:45
Sweet. I'm going to throw it back down
48:48
because it's a piece of shit now.
48:49
I was playing. I'm going to put it in my
48:50
pocket, it looks. It.
48:53
Looks. It looks too cool.
48:54
It looks too cool to just put away, so I'm going to save it,
48:57
put it in my pocket. Put it in your prison pocket.
48:59
All right, night out. Kick that door.
49:02
If you're going to be part of our crew, man, you got to figure
49:04
out how to use Windows. Shut up.
49:06
No you don't. Don't listen to him.
49:09
Sometimes you don't even need doors or windows, we just blast
49:12
holes through walls. And how was that worked out?
49:16
Not well. Yeah, exactly.
49:19
Surprisingly well this episode, actually.
49:21
We've come out live every time, hey?
49:24
I must say I'm the only one that's died so far that says
49:27
it's there. Exactly.
49:29
What'd you get? 16 + 1 strength, so 17.
49:34
All right, Yeah. You kick this door open and as
49:37
you come outside, that's when you hear that weird crying
49:40
noise. And that's when hazy, you hear
49:42
the crying noise and you just hear a flash bang, boom.
49:46
And you just hear me screaming. What the fuck, baby bird?
49:49
And. Then you see me running through
49:52
the door back outside. Baby bird goes to run outside
49:57
but boom, he runs into something very solid and very hairy.
50:03
And. That is going to be it for
50:04
today's episode. Come back next time and see what
50:07
happens. See what baby bird fucked up.
50:10
Everybody say goodbye. Transmission lost.
50:20
Teen status unknown.