Latest / Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED / The Piece of Advice Scotty REFUSES to take from Abby!

Transcript

The Piece of Advice Scotty REFUSES to take from Abby! · Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED

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Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's Best music is.
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Speaker 2: Ninety four nine.
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Speaker 1: Thanks for being a part of another episode of Scott
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Speaker 1: and Abbey Unfiltered and Abby, I know that you're not
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Speaker 1: looking forward to doing this, but what are you doing
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Speaker 1: after this podcast?
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Speaker 3: I told you how many homes I have to tell
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Speaker 3: you'm doing my taxes? Well, my taxes, the irs wasn't
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Speaker 3: coming after me. I'll go to jail.
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Speaker 1: I feel like there is a chance that they wouldn't
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Speaker 1: even notice if.
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Speaker 2: I didn't do my TAXI yes.
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Speaker 1: I feel like that would be okay.
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Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not making enough money for them to
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Speaker 3: really need it. They're probably fine.
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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. That's like, I don't know if
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Speaker 1: they would truly notice. I know it's a lot of stress,
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Speaker 1: and I know we're all going through that season right now,
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Speaker 1: but I do know that's something that like creeps up
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Speaker 1: on all of us and we're like, I'm I'm going
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Speaker 1: to jail. And I really do wonder and I don't
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Speaker 1: want to test this, but would anything actually.
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Speaker 2: Leave it or not? You do go to jail if
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Speaker 2: you evade your taxes?
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, But I also think like they wouldn't even notice, especially.
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Speaker 3: How would they not notice now they would literally your
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Speaker 3: W two's get reported to the I R S.
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Speaker 2: Scottie.
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Speaker 1: I know, but like if I feel like it flags it,
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Speaker 1: if it's like extreme, I need to talk to someone
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Speaker 1: in the IRS. Now, they probably won't reveal that they
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Speaker 1: don't check everybody's They just want to make sure you
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Speaker 1: get it done so nobody goes to jail. But we were
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Speaker 1: talking about right before this and what I want to
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Speaker 1: know from you, because now you've gotten to see sides
1:08
Speaker 1: of me over the three weeks that might be maybe
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Speaker 1: surprising that you wouldn't realize when you first took this job.
1:16
Speaker 1: What is something that I do that annoys you?
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Speaker 3: In these three weeks, you're just very chipper, And so
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Speaker 3: when I'm not chipper, I think sometimes it's hard to.
1:26
Speaker 2: Trudge along.
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Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm kind of I'm having a hard week. So
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Speaker 3: I wouldn't call it annoying. I just think maybe we're
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Speaker 3: button heads a little bit, because I'm not in a
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Speaker 3: great headspace right now.
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Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying that right now, but I'm thinking
1:37
Speaker 1: over like three weeks, you finally get to see like
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Speaker 1: people's true colors, and there's things that you start to
1:43
Speaker 1: notice or habits that they have that, You're like, huh,
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Speaker 1: I didn't know that about them.
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Speaker 2: No, you're pretty much you're.
1:51
Speaker 3: You are more human than I expected. I think I
1:54
Speaker 3: only knew you as a performer, Like I met you,
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Speaker 3: and you have a very tony Robbins's way of communicating,
2:02
Speaker 3: like you're very like.
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Speaker 2: On all the time. I like it when I see
2:05
Speaker 2: you off.
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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people like I've had
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Speaker 1: that multiple times over the past couple months where they're like,
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Speaker 1: it just feels really good to see you.
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Speaker 3: Normal, and I'm like, yeah, you're more normal than I
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Speaker 3: expect you.
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Speaker 2: Is that bad?
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Speaker 1: No, I think it's fine. But I also realize that
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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, yeah, I'm gonna have different sides of me.
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Speaker 1: I think the greatest thing is when you truly hang
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Speaker 1: around me, you'll see all elements. So for eighty percent
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Speaker 1: of the time, I'm exactly as you hear me. Now,
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Speaker 1: it's up, it's focused, it's positive, it's driven. But then
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Speaker 1: there's a whole other side that. Okay, there's also more
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Speaker 1: chill moments. There are upsetting moments, there are anger moments,
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Speaker 1: there are sad moments. It's the whole rainbow of emotions
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Speaker 1: that it's weird because people think I'm just always good
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Speaker 1: all the time. I'm good at getting there quick, but
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Speaker 1: it's impossible, that's delusional to live there one hundred percent
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Speaker 1: of the time.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean I think people think you're delusional.
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Speaker 1: What No, not? Okay, Well maybe if you only hear
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Speaker 1: me here, then I think it's easy to message me
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Speaker 1: and say, how are you always so positive? And I'd
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Speaker 1: say I'm pretty good a getting there, but I don't
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Speaker 1: think I'm always there.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but most people are good at getting there.
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Speaker 1: What was the moment that surprised you that got me
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Speaker 1: like not so positive? Or you caught me and you're like, hmm,
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Speaker 1: that's a what was the emotion that you saw.
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Speaker 2: I don't know that you've like disappointed.
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Speaker 3: I just, oh my god, don't look so so something
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Speaker 3: that's Scottie. No, you haven't really surprised me in a
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Speaker 3: bad way. No, you're pretty much exactly what I expected.
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Speaker 2: But better.
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Speaker 3: Like I did wonder if we wouldn't get along because
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Speaker 3: you're so chipper and happy, because that's just not I
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Speaker 3: just tend to run a little bit lower unless i'm performing.
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Speaker 3: And I was like, I don't know if we'll like
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Speaker 3: get along but when you're we get along very well,
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Speaker 3: We're getting along way better than I expected.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think that's my biggest fear. In
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Speaker 1: the back of my head. I'm like, I feel like
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Speaker 1: we're getting along great, but I'm like, what if Abby's
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Speaker 1: is not saying how she truly feels?
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Speaker 3: No, You're the thing is so something you should know
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Speaker 3: about me is I cannot high how I truly feel.
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Speaker 1: That's what I thought.
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Speaker 3: So when you see me low, it's because I'm feeling low.
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Speaker 3: If you're seeing me happy, it's because I'm feeling happy.
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Speaker 3: If I look annoyed, it's because I'm annoyed. I'm not
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Speaker 3: a good actress. I think I got into this field
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Speaker 3: because I'm a good performer, but I'm not good at
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Speaker 3: faking things.
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Speaker 1: M real.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm good at just being exactly how I feel,
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Speaker 3: which is good for this job but not good for
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Speaker 3: life in general.
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Speaker 1: Does that get you in trouble in other areas of
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Speaker 1: your life? Because I think a lot of people are
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Speaker 1: so used. I was explaining this to a friend of
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Speaker 1: there's some people that are people pleasers, and I've had
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Speaker 1: that tendency where it's like, look, I don't want to
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Speaker 1: ruffle any feathers. I'm gonna be super nice. I'm gonna
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Speaker 1: be super like just I guess in the beginning, just
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Speaker 1: very facy. I don't know if that's the right word.
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Speaker 1: Whereas I feel like you do a great job of
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Speaker 1: like you say exactly what you think, how you wanted
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Speaker 1: to come off, and it's like it's great to be honest,
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Speaker 1: but I do feel like it probably catches people off
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Speaker 1: guard at first.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I don't I'm I'm nice girl presenting, you
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Speaker 3: know when people are like white presenting or you know,
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Speaker 3: not like you present like a certain race. I feel
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Speaker 3: like I present as the classic all American good girl,
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Speaker 3: which to an extent most of my life like I was,
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Speaker 3: And I think I just got so sick of being
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Speaker 3: manipulated or being a people pleaser, and it just kind
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Speaker 3: of getting you nowhere that I'm like, I'm so sick
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Speaker 3: of we're all you know how Shakespeare's like all the
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Speaker 3: world to stage.
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Speaker 2: I'm sick of that.
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Speaker 3: I don't want to perform, I don't want to act
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Speaker 3: like a certain way that I don't feel. I'd rather
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Speaker 3: just be human with you, because I think at the
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Speaker 3: end of the day, our humanness is what makes people
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Speaker 3: feel connected, even if it's not a positive emotion. And
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Speaker 3: I think that's why I'm comfortable being low when I'm low,
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Speaker 3: because I think it would make people feel disconnected from
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Speaker 3: me if I disconnected from my true emotions.
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Speaker 2: And I think to some extent, you have to.
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Speaker 3: There's some instances where you do need to fake it
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Speaker 3: till you make it, or you do need to put
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Speaker 3: on a good front. But it's so exhausting to do
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Speaker 3: that all the time that I'm just like, I'm not
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Speaker 3: going to do that anymore. I don't want to live
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Speaker 3: my life like I'm some fake version of myself.
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Speaker 1: M See that's powerful. I think that's a big thing
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Speaker 1: that people don't realize till it's too late, where it's
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Speaker 1: like I'm so tired of just putting on this face
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Speaker 1: for everyone else's happiness versus my own. Yeah, and I'm
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Speaker 1: going to focus on me and how I feel in
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Speaker 1: this moment. I think I've I don't think I'm in
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Speaker 1: that realm of like I have to fake it around people.
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Speaker 1: But I think I've gotten a lot better about being like, yo,
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Speaker 1: know what, I don't want to do this and I
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Speaker 1: won't do it like, oh, you want to go out
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Speaker 1: to this event. No, or even the other day. I
6:28
Speaker 1: was telling you when we left the radio thought, I
6:29
Speaker 1: was like, I was going to drive my roommate down
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Speaker 1: to Fort Myers to grab some stuff that he left
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Speaker 1: down there. And you were like what, and I was like, yeah,
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Speaker 1: I mean we've been talking about doing it for like
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Speaker 1: a month, and I just keep putting it off. And
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Speaker 1: You're like, okay, first off, you literally just did the
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Speaker 1: radio though on for twenty four hours. You're exhausted. You
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Speaker 1: should tell him, you know, no, And every bit of
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Speaker 1: me was like should I Should I not? And I
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Speaker 1: had a good drive home and I was like, you
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Speaker 1: know what, Abby's right, I want to start listening to
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Speaker 1: what I want and going off of as the que
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Speaker 1: I know, it's like what a bossing No.
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Speaker 3: I just I'm cackling hearing you say this, because I'm like,
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Speaker 3: this is my legacy to make people more self serving.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like it wasn't even like I guess on
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Speaker 1: people less.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Well, it was a powerful moment to say, like I
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Speaker 1: had to think through because the first initial reaction is,
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Speaker 1: oh god, I don't want to deal with they and
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Speaker 1: this is nothing against my roommate, but I do this
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Speaker 1: with everybody of their emotion being dropped. So I was like,
7:24
Speaker 1: oh god, I guess I could just suck it up
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Speaker 1: for like a couple hours. And then the more I
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Speaker 1: thought about it, I was like, I would be miserable.
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Speaker 1: No part of me wants to do that, So why
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Speaker 1: am I gonna do that? And so I literally got home.
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Speaker 1: I was like, yo, I'm gonna be honest, I don't
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Speaker 1: want to do this at all. You want to go
7:38
Speaker 1: take my car enjoy m And I was so glad
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Speaker 1: I did that because I sat and I did exactly
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Speaker 1: what I was envisioned in myself doing, which was nothing,
7:47
Speaker 1: which I'm sure a lot of us deal with that,
7:48
Speaker 1: where it's you're going, going, going, going, and you never
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Speaker 1: give yourself that moment to say, ah, this is completely
7:56
Speaker 1: on my terms now. But it was such a good
7:59
Speaker 1: feeling to literally sit there. I like literally took a
8:02
Speaker 1: nap for like four hours. I ate dinner, I went
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Speaker 1: back to sleep. It was awesome to serve yourself.
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Speaker 3: Wow, I love being selfish. Bring back being selfish, being
8:13
Speaker 3: selfish great again.
8:14
Speaker 1: It was oh my gosh, it was so good though
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Speaker 1: to feel. But what was surprising is how hard it
8:20
Speaker 1: was to get there.
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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's so crazy to me because it
8:24
Speaker 3: seemed like such an outlandish ask to me. And I
8:27
Speaker 3: think that's why I felt comfortable vocalizing that to you,
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Speaker 3: that you should have that boundary of why is it?
8:33
Speaker 3: Why do you have to drive him? I was like,
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Speaker 3: I feel like, there's so many other options. This guy
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Speaker 3: forgot something in a city two hours away.
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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
8:41
Speaker 2: First of all, why can't they just mail it whatever?
8:44
Speaker 1: And I brought that up.
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Speaker 3: Second of all, why can't he rent a car to
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Speaker 3: go get it? Like this is his Like, why do
8:49
Speaker 3: you have to be his uber? That doesn't make sense
8:51
Speaker 3: to me.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it was trying to find a way
8:54
Speaker 1: that we're both going to use the utensil that we
8:56
Speaker 1: were getting the things that we're getting, so it was
8:58
Speaker 1: going to be something for the house that we both well.
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Speaker 2: Also, I note, what kind of pan is this?
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Speaker 1: You as like the best pan in the world.
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Speaker 3: And can you not literally at that point I would
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Speaker 3: have just Amazon primed another one. No.
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Speaker 1: I think it's like a three hundred dollars pan. It's
9:10
Speaker 1: like chef style good pan. Well, Verman has really good
9:14
Speaker 1: taste in things.
9:15
Speaker 3: Let's do the math here. How much is gas from
9:17
Speaker 3: here to where are you going? Sarasota Fort Myers? For
9:20
Speaker 3: you were going to Fort Myers, it's like a one
9:22
Speaker 3: hundred dollars tank of gas.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think it cost to fill up.
9:28
Speaker 1: It would have been that probably would have just been
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Speaker 1: one tank full, so it's still saved money. But I'm
9:33
Speaker 1: like the way it worked it was perfect because I
9:35
Speaker 1: was like, wait a second, I don't want to use
9:37
Speaker 1: my time doing that. I'm already exhausted, go off and
9:40
Speaker 1: do it. But it worked better because if it would
9:44
Speaker 1: have happened any earlier, and even if I would have
9:46
Speaker 1: done the same thing, I still would have won in
9:48
Speaker 1: my car. But that night I did nothing. I sat
9:51
Speaker 1: at my butt at home, and I made myself dinner,
9:53
Speaker 1: and I took a nice walk and I went back
9:54
Speaker 1: to bed. Yeah you did, And I was like, you
9:56
Speaker 1: take my car. That's fine. I don't need it now,
9:58
Speaker 1: Like you go ahead, get it. The only bad thing
9:59
Speaker 1: that happened I have extra miles on my car, which
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Speaker 1: is no biggie, like that's whatever. But I'm glad that
10:04
Speaker 1: we had that conversation because I would have been battling
10:07
Speaker 1: even more internally not to go and so if anything,
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Speaker 1: if this is the message, just you know what, listen
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Speaker 1: to your internal voice a little bit more, because I'm
10:15
Speaker 1: taking that lesson into this year.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, We'll be generous where you can, but if it's
10:19
Speaker 3: a ridiculous ask, don't need you. I mean like, if
10:21
Speaker 3: someone came up to me and said, IBB, I need
10:23
Speaker 3: ten thousand dollars, I'd be like, well, I also need
10:25
Speaker 3: ten thousand dollars.
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Speaker 2: That's a ridiculous ask.
10:27
Speaker 3: But if someone needs help in the breakroom, or if
10:29
Speaker 3: someone doesn't know how to work software like there, be
10:32
Speaker 3: generous where you can be generous, but don't overextend yourself
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Speaker 3: for to make somebody else happy when it's a ridiculous ask.
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Speaker 1: And I think that's the biggest thing is it's depleting you.
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Speaker 1: Because I kept envisioning myself just being more depleted, and
10:44
Speaker 1: then I was working the next day, and then I
10:46
Speaker 1: was working on Sunday and I was like, oh god,
10:49
Speaker 1: I nope, nope, I got to put my foot down
10:51
Speaker 1: here and it was fine. And I think that's the
10:52
Speaker 1: biggest thing I get in my head. We play things
10:55
Speaker 1: out worse than they would actually be, and we're like,
10:57
Speaker 1: oh god, they're gonna be upset, it's gonna be awkward,
10:59
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a whole thing. It's on me. I
11:01
Speaker 1: said I was going to do it yesterday, and then
11:03
Speaker 1: you do it, and you're like, wait a second, that
11:04
Speaker 1: wasn't not that bad. Oh nice, Okay, that's a lot
11:08
Speaker 1: better than I thought, And hopefully you carry that over
11:10
Speaker 1: to the next hard conversation or the next no or
11:12
Speaker 1: boundary that you set up so valid.
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Speaker 3: No.
11:14
Speaker 1: I like it.
11:15
Speaker 2: I'm good at telling people no.
11:16
Speaker 1: I mean it's important to have. It's important skill to
11:19
Speaker 1: I had a year of yes, and then I'm also
11:21
Speaker 1: over the past year and a half, I've had the
11:23
Speaker 1: year of no.
11:23
Speaker 2: This is your year of no.
11:24
Speaker 3: And it's funny that you bring this up because I
11:26
Speaker 3: just saw somebody else that I had to have this
11:28
Speaker 3: conversation with. You guys are both very similar kind of
11:30
Speaker 3: golden retriever ish and we'll just bend over backwards and
11:34
Speaker 3: sacrifice your body, your spirit, your mind just for somebody else,
11:38
Speaker 3: which is like an honorable thing, right kind of. But
11:40
Speaker 3: then it gets to a point where it's like, Okay,
11:42
Speaker 3: you're not a human punching bag. You've got to say
11:44
Speaker 3: no every now and then.
11:47
Speaker 1: I'm curious of what the other person was facing that
11:49
Speaker 1: you had to tell them to say no to.
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Speaker 3: Well, I'll give you the specific example, so I know
11:53
Speaker 3: he's listening.
11:54
Speaker 2: Hi, David, David's listening.
11:56
Speaker 3: David is one of the staff members on Bird's Pig
11:59
Speaker 3: Adventure and he's literally you, but just in a different fund.
12:02
Speaker 3: Nice David, And basically we call him the director of Fun,
12:07
Speaker 3: and he'll let kids smash cake in his space, push
12:10
Speaker 3: them into fountains and stuff. And literally my first year
12:12
Speaker 3: of BBA, I was like, what do you, like, why
12:13
Speaker 3: are you letting these kids just like bully you?
12:15
Speaker 1: Because it makes the kids happy.
12:17
Speaker 2: It makes the kids happy. But I'm like, is this
12:19
Speaker 2: It got to a point.
12:19
Speaker 3: I think he got pushed into a fountain for fun
12:22
Speaker 3: or something, and he's like sopping wet, and I'm looking
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Speaker 3: at him like, dude, now you're wet for the rest
12:27
Speaker 3: of the evening, you know what I mean. At some point,
12:29
Speaker 3: there's got to be you got to tell the kids
12:31
Speaker 3: know at some.
12:32
Speaker 1: Point that's well, that's where it's tough, because especially if
12:36
Speaker 1: it brings a benefit to someone else, But then you
12:39
Speaker 1: weigh it out, like I've had to do that a
12:40
Speaker 1: lot because in the beginning of his career, I said
12:42
Speaker 1: yes to everything, literally everything, But then you start to
12:47
Speaker 1: get wise on what is the payoff of that thing.
12:49
Speaker 1: That's what I know is there are a better way
12:50
Speaker 1: to do it without the consequence being all on you.
12:53
Speaker 2: Because kids don't know what they want.
12:55
Speaker 3: Kids want candy all the time, and if you gave
12:57
Speaker 3: kids candy all the time, they would feel nauseous and sick.
13:00
Speaker 2: Why did you give me all that candy?
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Speaker 3: So realize what's reasonable and generous in the moment and
13:06
Speaker 3: not ridiculous, like getting pushed into a fountain.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy. That's a valid one. I think there's
13:11
Speaker 1: one that's happening right now is a lot of people
13:12
Speaker 1: I've given like let's say, cause the radio station, we
13:14
Speaker 1: get a lot of tickets and things, and as soon
13:16
Speaker 1: as you give a little bit, people want even more.
13:19
Speaker 1: It's very fascinating. Yeah, which I haven't dealt with this
13:21
Speaker 1: in a couple of years. I used to do it
13:22
Speaker 1: a lot in the beginning, but now I've had a
13:25
Speaker 1: lot more people reaching out there like hey, this concert's
13:29
Speaker 1: coming up, could you get me tickets? And then I do,
13:31
Speaker 1: and it's like thank you, Hey, this concert's coming up,
13:36
Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, wait a second, we have
13:38
Speaker 1: now hit that boundary where I'm like, Yah, you're gonna
13:41
Speaker 1: don't make me say no, don't make me be a jerk,
13:43
Speaker 1: but you're gonna put me in that category of being
13:45
Speaker 1: a jerk because'm'n'n have to turn it down. But I
13:46
Speaker 1: don't think people will learn until you finally tell them no.
13:49
Speaker 1: That part sucks because I don't want to be looked
13:51
Speaker 1: at as like, oh man, my bad. But I think
13:54
Speaker 1: I play it up bigger in my head.
13:56
Speaker 3: I think me and you have opposite problems. I think
13:58
Speaker 3: you're too loose with your boundaries. I think I could be.
14:00
Speaker 3: I'm trying to find where I can be looser with
14:03
Speaker 3: my boundaries without giving up what I actually want, if
14:06
Speaker 3: that makes sense, Like I find maybe in not friendships
14:11
Speaker 3: friendships might be the wrong scenario, but sometimes, just with
14:15
Speaker 3: female relationships, sometimes I feel like people will overestimate their
14:22
Speaker 3: emotional intimacy with you and maybe think that you're closer
14:25
Speaker 3: than you are, and maybe sometimes ask more of you.
14:28
Speaker 3: And it's kind of like, am I being a bitch
14:29
Speaker 3: right now? Or does it feel like this person's sort
14:32
Speaker 3: of encroaching on my space. Does that make sense at all?
14:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think and the way that I take it,
14:39
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that will come to me
14:41
Speaker 1: with their let's just call it their baggage, and they're like, hey,
14:45
Speaker 1: I got the bags full, let's go ahead and debunk.
14:48
Speaker 1: And I'm like, damn, it's very fascinating, which I love
14:52
Speaker 1: being somebody that could help. But my biggest thing, I
14:54
Speaker 1: think a pet peeve of mine is only if you're
14:58
Speaker 1: willing to do something thing about it. And I think
15:00
Speaker 1: that's where I get in kind of trouble with certain
15:02
Speaker 1: relationships because some people just want to be heard where
15:05
Speaker 1: I'm a fixer. That's why I'm a coach, That's why
15:06
Speaker 1: I speak.
15:07
Speaker 2: You are a fixer.
15:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very hard for me just to sit back
15:10
Speaker 1: and listen and be like, let me listen to you
15:12
Speaker 1: just rant and complain. I could turn on that side
15:15
Speaker 1: of my brain, but the immediate one is like, Oh,
15:18
Speaker 1: we're gonna get down to the bottom of this, we're
15:19
Speaker 1: gonna fix it immediately. We're gonna go ahead and charge
15:21
Speaker 1: you up. That's the Tony Robbinson me comes out. I'm like,
15:23
Speaker 1: we could solve this right now, and I've had to
15:26
Speaker 1: realize people don't want it solved, but then it makes
15:27
Speaker 1: me ask. I'm like, God, how much baggage you gonna bring?
15:30
Speaker 1: Because if we don't solve it, then the bags just pile.
15:33
Speaker 1: Then you're putting your heavy ass weight on my already
15:35
Speaker 1: weight that selfishly or self lessly. I never give anybody
15:39
Speaker 1: else because I'm like, well, they already got weight. I
15:41
Speaker 1: don't want to give them my weight, but they're piling
15:42
Speaker 1: on mine. Is that what you're talking about?
15:44
Speaker 3: Sure, I don't want to give specific examples because I'm
15:48
Speaker 3: expressing an emotion that I don't want to have consequences for.
15:51
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Like I don't want someone to hear
15:53
Speaker 3: and be like, was she talking about me? Yeah, you're
15:55
Speaker 3: probably not talking about you, and I'm not really talking
15:57
Speaker 3: about anybody in general. Yeah, it's more of like I
16:00
Speaker 3: do think sometimes I value my autonomy in my independence
16:05
Speaker 3: so much that sometimes anytime that feels threatened, or if
16:08
Speaker 3: I don't really feel like I have a choice in it,
16:10
Speaker 3: I can sometimes feel like that's a boundary when maybe
16:13
Speaker 3: it's just somebody desiring to be close to me.
16:15
Speaker 1: Mmmmm, does it help if somebody asks you if you're
16:18
Speaker 1: available for that moment?
16:20
Speaker 2: But sometimes then you look like a bitch if you
16:22
Speaker 2: say no.
16:23
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, Like if they say hey,
16:26
Speaker 3: blah blah blah, question mark, it's like you're being asked
16:31
Speaker 3: but there's only one right answer.
16:34
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm really not trying to
16:37
Speaker 2: be cryptic.
16:37
Speaker 3: I'm just not trying to give a specific example that
16:39
Speaker 3: would make anybody feel.
16:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, shamed. Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with
16:43
Speaker 1: us even talking about this, because I think this is
16:45
Speaker 1: something every single person experiences in one part of their life,
16:51
Speaker 1: where it's you are the open ear, the open heart,
16:54
Speaker 1: the open time for someone else, and then we also
16:57
Speaker 1: do it to others. I think I bring a lot
16:59
Speaker 1: of stuff. If I have theft that's on my mind
17:02
Speaker 1: or my heart, usually I keep it bottled. The only
17:05
Speaker 1: person that ever gets it would probably be my dad,
17:08
Speaker 1: Like that would be who I'm just like, all right,
17:10
Speaker 1: I can just talk openly and just say anything and
17:13
Speaker 1: let it just go off into the void whether he
17:15
Speaker 1: listens or not. But I do try consciously not to
17:18
Speaker 1: give that to anybody else, because I also know what
17:21
Speaker 1: it feels like when somebody comes up and they're like,
17:23
Speaker 1: got two bags full, you ready, and You're like, who wha, whoa,
17:26
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not right now. Sometimes I just start
17:28
Speaker 1: going You're like, you know, what f it if I
17:30
Speaker 1: have a moment. But it just depends on the time.
17:33
Speaker 1: And that's why I've also gotten good about, like when
17:35
Speaker 1: I take text messages or when I hang out with
17:38
Speaker 1: certain people. Like That's where I've gotten really good about
17:40
Speaker 1: being no more no oriented, because I'm like, well, I
17:43
Speaker 1: could control that. If we don't hang out before, we
17:46
Speaker 1: don't talk, well, then I give myself a little time
17:48
Speaker 1: to clear off my own baggage. I can make room
17:50
Speaker 1: for yours. Yeah, which we need friends for the baggage.
17:53
Speaker 1: That's what these relationships are for part of it, uh huh.
17:56
Speaker 1: But I also do think it's a good moment for
17:58
Speaker 1: us to reflect and be like, well, damn much baggage
18:00
Speaker 1: you might bring into this relationship because that might be exhausting.
18:03
Speaker 3: Your friend might be what's an example of someone giving
18:06
Speaker 3: you too much baggage?
18:07
Speaker 1: Scott Ward, Well, I would say, wow, that's a tough one.
18:12
Speaker 1: I think it always has to deal with people. This
18:16
Speaker 1: again has to be very cryptic because I don't want
18:18
Speaker 1: anybody to feel called out in their life. I've had
18:23
Speaker 1: friends where if they complain about let's just say job
18:28
Speaker 1: oriented things, they're very upset by their pay or their
18:31
Speaker 1: job environment. And I understand wanting to complain about it,
18:35
Speaker 1: but for the life of me, I need you to
18:38
Speaker 1: do something like cause again, the thing that will get
18:41
Speaker 1: me the most is if I give advice, or if
18:43
Speaker 1: I give a good talk, or if we have a
18:45
Speaker 1: good session like it's a coaching session, and then you
18:48
Speaker 1: don't do anything about it. I literally will say in
18:51
Speaker 1: the next time we have that conference, like that conversation
18:53
Speaker 1: of well, we kind of already talked about this, yeah,
18:55
Speaker 1: so I want to keep moving forward.
18:57
Speaker 2: It needs to feel like you're lamenting.
18:59
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I don't want to feel like I'm just
19:00
Speaker 1: wasting my time like That's I think the difference is,
19:03
Speaker 1: you know, I love when a friend comes to me
19:05
Speaker 1: and they're like yo. And I've done this in relationships
19:08
Speaker 1: where it's hey, I just want to be heard. I
19:10
Speaker 1: don't need any advice. I'm like, oh sweet, I'll turn
19:12
Speaker 1: off that side of my brain. But if you come
19:14
Speaker 1: to me and you're like yo, at my job right now,
19:16
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling respected. I feel like I'm getting overworked.
19:21
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, what are we going to do about it?
19:24
Speaker 1: Because you're going to feel that emotion until you actually
19:26
Speaker 1: take action on it. Is there somebody you could talk to?
19:29
Speaker 1: Is there something that you could do to give yourself
19:30
Speaker 1: a little space? Is there a boundary that you could
19:33
Speaker 1: set up? And if we've had that conversation and then
19:36
Speaker 1: you don't do any of it, well I'm gonna look
19:38
Speaker 1: at you sideways and think, well, why didn't you do anything?
19:41
Speaker 1: Do you like feeling that? Cause I don't. I was
19:43
Speaker 1: feeling that way here for many years. Yeah, where I
19:45
Speaker 1: was like, okay, what the And I had a head
19:48
Speaker 1: of a coach that literally told me exactly what I
19:51
Speaker 1: tell friends. And I was like, well, did you talk
19:52
Speaker 1: to the boss? And that's when my coach I said no?
19:55
Speaker 1: And they said, well, maybe go set up a meeting
19:57
Speaker 1: with the boss. And I said, wow, that sounds so simple,
19:59
Speaker 1: and so and I walked in, I voiced my concerns
20:02
Speaker 1: and I got a raise, and I was like, holy crap.
20:06
Speaker 1: I could have just sat in that emotion. It would
20:08
Speaker 1: have been so easy, because that anger feels good. I
20:10
Speaker 1: don't know about you, but like when anger.
20:12
Speaker 2: Hits finger does it does?
20:15
Speaker 1: But you know it felt even better.
20:17
Speaker 3: I've said that you're a little bit of a hot head.
20:18
Speaker 3: I haven't seen hot heeads scotty yet.
20:20
Speaker 1: You probably won't unless somebody like, Okay, what you would
20:24
Speaker 1: see is I get very protective over my people. So
20:27
Speaker 1: if somebody comes around and let's say, like now that
20:29
Speaker 1: you're in my circle, if somebody was to f with you,
20:32
Speaker 1: well then that side of me comes out. Don't f
20:35
Speaker 1: with my people, don't touch somebody, don't say something rude,
20:39
Speaker 1: don't be a dick. I will come after you. Yeah.
20:42
Speaker 1: If not, then we're all good that I'm mappy. Those
20:47
Speaker 1: are the only times where people will really get it.
20:49
Speaker 1: And that's actually again, like there's been things in my
20:51
Speaker 1: life that I've had to put that face back on
20:53
Speaker 1: where it's like people think they could just say or
20:56
Speaker 1: get by with things with me, and they could just
20:58
Speaker 1: be like, oh, nonchalant and oh it's no big deal.
21:01
Speaker 1: Well it's a big deal, especially when it's like impacting
21:03
Speaker 1: my circle, my friends, my family. I will cut your
21:07
Speaker 1: ass off very quick. I really will. And you'll see
21:10
Speaker 1: a side of me that not many people see. I
21:13
Speaker 1: can be very mean, I could be very cold, and
21:15
Speaker 1: I don't like that side. But now I'm learning and
21:18
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people learn this as you
21:19
Speaker 1: get older. Is man, sometimes you got to turn that
21:22
Speaker 1: on for certain people. Is they will just walk over
21:24
Speaker 1: you until you do. And sometimes you got to wake
21:27
Speaker 1: them up by being that cold hearted b I've had
21:32
Speaker 1: to do it recently, which is fun.
21:34
Speaker 2: With who we'll.
21:35
Speaker 1: Talk about it eventually, we'll have to get into that
21:37
Speaker 1: conversation because it's a whole let's see wait, I forgot
21:42
Speaker 1: we're on camera. Yeah, we're on camera, So I'm gonna
21:43
Speaker 1: try to stick my hand out of the camera.
21:45
Speaker 2: Is it who were talking about yesterday? Yeah?
21:46
Speaker 1: I think okay, yeah, Yeah, Like that's one where I'm like, wow,
21:49
Speaker 1: you only this person only saw a good side of me,
21:51
Speaker 1: and then they had they have to turn it on.
21:54
Speaker 1: You didn't have to. I didn't want to, and actually
21:58
Speaker 1: have it hasn't even gotten to the extent that it
21:59
Speaker 1: really needs to be. What did you do?
22:01
Speaker 3: Just get them like a stern talking to and Skott
22:03
Speaker 3: is like I really showed him well or her?
22:07
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's a tone. It's a tone you're
22:10
Speaker 1: used to a certain tone with me, but there also
22:12
Speaker 1: is a tone that gets very serious. It comes out of.
22:19
Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to be sexy to get what you want.
22:21
Speaker 1: I mean that works too, but there walk side that's
22:25
Speaker 1: exactly right, but that in this case. But yeah, putting
22:28
Speaker 1: up boundaries has definitely been something that's helped. I think
22:31
Speaker 1: the values that I've gone into this year with the
22:33
Speaker 1: value of my own time, you know, valuing myself weird.
22:36
Speaker 1: It should be something that we all have. Valuing honesty,
22:40
Speaker 1: that's been a big one. Especially We've talked a lot
22:42
Speaker 1: about dating, but being just completely straight up and honest
22:45
Speaker 1: about what you want, how you want it. That sounds
22:48
Speaker 1: weird and sexual, but I not always do that in
22:50
Speaker 1: dating well, but also being their you want it straight
22:53
Speaker 1: straight up, that's right. Hey, you know what, if it's
22:57
Speaker 1: on your mind, say it and do it you want,
23:00
Speaker 1: that's right.
23:02
Speaker 3: You know.
23:02
Speaker 2: Side note the temperature in the room.
23:04
Speaker 1: This is a side note conversation drink of the sheets.
23:07
Speaker 1: I heard a commercial as I was in the bathroom here,
23:09
Speaker 1: and you know, we have different ads and so that's fine,
23:11
Speaker 1: but it was one about like male performance and I
23:14
Speaker 1: just want to hear your thoughts on this, like very
23:15
Speaker 1: big tangent and since a.
23:17
Speaker 2: Great tool, but no, it's it was the phrase.
23:19
Speaker 1: Of like, men, you'll last longer than you've ever imagined
23:24
Speaker 1: fourteen minutes. Well, something about that phrase freaked me out
23:29
Speaker 1: because I'm like, how long do you truly And no,
23:34
Speaker 1: we do not need to dive into this right now.
23:36
Speaker 2: Depends on what profession you're in.
23:37
Speaker 1: I guess so, because I just thought to myself, what
23:41
Speaker 1: an interesting marketing tool, Like, what are you thinking this
23:44
Speaker 1: is going to be? Like the length of both wickeds
23:47
Speaker 1: back to back? Does it need to be? That's five hours?
23:51
Speaker 1: But it's exhausts. It's a marathon.
23:52
Speaker 3: You're supposed to contact your doctor if it lasts longer
23:54
Speaker 3: than four hours.
23:55
Speaker 1: Well, I'm telling you what. The way that commercial made
23:57
Speaker 1: it sound is like you just never stop.
24:00
Speaker 2: You're just and they're one of our clients.
24:03
Speaker 1: I think they're for another station. I don't think they
24:05
Speaker 1: air on our station, but like the Boner Yeah, probably Boner.
24:08
Speaker 1: That makes sense, probably, and it's I mean again, I
24:11
Speaker 1: think those products are awesome, good if you need It
24:13
Speaker 1: was just funny how was phrase? It was like, men,
24:16
Speaker 1: you last longer than ever And I'm.
24:18
Speaker 2: Like, God, dangn You're gonna go for days and days,
24:21
Speaker 2: You'll never stop.
24:22
Speaker 1: You're better in the middle of it because you're just gonna.
24:24
Speaker 3: Be exhausted, You're gonna arrive at that Sandals all inclusive
24:27
Speaker 3: resort and you're just gonna be fucking front from NOOM
24:30
Speaker 3: to nat.
24:31
Speaker 1: I just felt honestly bad, you know, especially if you're
24:34
Speaker 1: their partner. Like that again, you know, there's a certain
24:37
Speaker 1: timeline where you're like all right enough, Like it's you know,
24:40
Speaker 1: two parties need to be there to tango. If one
24:43
Speaker 1: person could go for hours but the other person's like, yo,
24:45
Speaker 1: I'm a thirty minute term. Hm, it needs to be
24:47
Speaker 1: tapped at thirty minutes.
24:48
Speaker 2: I want to know why there's not a female viagra?
24:51
Speaker 2: Is there?
24:52
Speaker 1: That's a good question. Do you think they're working on things?
24:54
Speaker 1: What's something to get like.
24:55
Speaker 3: You going because men get like forty years of problem
24:59
Speaker 3: less performing some easy finish lines and how long have
25:02
Speaker 3: women been complaining about the finish line for and there's
25:07
Speaker 3: no one's ever thought to create a little red pill
25:09
Speaker 3: for women.
25:10
Speaker 1: I think there are things that help, but I don't
25:13
Speaker 1: know if there's things that have been as talked about
25:15
Speaker 1: as like a viagra.
25:16
Speaker 2: Well that's what I mean, women's health has not been studied.
25:19
Speaker 1: I know, Well bring it up with this hell science.
25:22
Speaker 1: I don't know.
25:23
Speaker 2: I don't call it doctor Beach, Jim somebody.
25:26
Speaker 1: Actually, I've been in a lot of interesting rooms where
25:28
Speaker 1: they've talked about women's sexual health and like what they've
25:31
Speaker 1: done to make it better or even today. One of
25:34
Speaker 1: the biggest stories that we didn't talk about on the
25:36
Speaker 1: show is like how halle Berry has like gone viral
25:38
Speaker 1: because she's like, girls, if it ain't good, say it
25:41
Speaker 1: ain't good. I don't deal with no good good good.
25:45
Speaker 1: It better be up to the standard that I deserve.
25:46
Speaker 1: Everybody better be finished.
25:48
Speaker 3: Well halle Berry can say that, Well, I think if
25:50
Speaker 3: I feel like women.
25:52
Speaker 2: You get me with the lights off and it's.
25:53
Speaker 1: Like okay, Jesus. But I think it's more so like
26:01
Speaker 1: just not ah hmmm. I don't know because I'm not
26:04
Speaker 1: a woman, so I don't even know how those conversations go.
26:06
Speaker 1: But I know for my malerain wow this conversations. But
26:10
Speaker 1: my male brain and I would wish more men would
26:13
Speaker 1: think this is like my my journey is I want
26:18
Speaker 1: to make it as enjoyable as possible. Where there's some
26:20
Speaker 1: men that are like, hmmm, I won't get mine and get.
26:23
Speaker 3: Done no, But I'm in that same if I was
26:25
Speaker 3: a guy, I would be really competitive.
26:28
Speaker 1: That's what I mean, Like, I don't know why there's
26:30
Speaker 1: not more of that talk happening the guys that I
26:32
Speaker 1: hang around. That's kind of what we're like, you know,
26:34
Speaker 1: it's it's about them. Make it an experience for them.
26:37
Speaker 1: It's very easy.
26:39
Speaker 2: It's a quantity over quality thing.
26:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I don't know what goes through And
26:44
Speaker 1: I think that's a very bro dude thing of like
26:47
Speaker 1: you're just focused on you and not all that goes
26:50
Speaker 1: into it. But I also don't think there's enough conversations
26:53
Speaker 1: either before or during or after on in this particular case,
27:00
Speaker 1: what women truly want, Like only in very mature relationships
27:03
Speaker 1: have had those conversations where it's like, what are the
27:06
Speaker 1: things that you really like, desire, need, and let it
27:10
Speaker 1: be my greatest quest to find it and make that happen.
27:15
Speaker 1: Because then I also like, oh my god, what I
27:18
Speaker 1: would feel disappointed. I know that halle Berry in the
27:20
Speaker 1: article is like enough of just laying there on the
27:22
Speaker 1: bed looking up at the ceiling wondering what about me?
27:26
Speaker 1: If it I would be more disappointed if they were disappointed, Like,
27:32
Speaker 1: oh my god, I would just feel like such a
27:35
Speaker 1: shell of a human. So I don't know where that
27:38
Speaker 1: conversation goes on, if there needs to be a pill,
27:41
Speaker 1: if there needs to be something brought in, or if
27:43
Speaker 1: it's a conversation that needs to happen. But I don't
27:46
Speaker 1: know whose job is that to bring it up?
27:48
Speaker 3: Via but instead of Viagara to be Vagina bro vagini ro.
27:54
Speaker 2: It's a little red pill.
27:55
Speaker 1: This is going to be out. The episode is going
27:57
Speaker 1: to be out the specific section of YouTube. It's not
28:00
Speaker 1: going to be where kids can find this.
28:01
Speaker 2: It's the explicit section.
28:02
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. This is going to be one. But
28:04
Speaker 1: I think there are things you know, that company, it's
28:06
Speaker 1: like they got suffer him and her. I think they
28:10
Speaker 1: have stuff for her. There are things to help. Well,
28:13
Speaker 1: you don't know, consult your doctor. Maybe maybe you.
28:16
Speaker 2: Need to be asking more questions, having more conversations.
28:19
Speaker 1: I am, that's why we're doing it. I don't know.
28:21
Speaker 1: I don't know what else to ask. I feel like
28:22
Speaker 1: it's you know, never mind when that happen.
28:25
Speaker 2: Also dated women for like years at a time.
28:27
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. But I've always had those conversations.
28:30
Speaker 1: I make sure. Yeah, again, I don't my biggest uh,
28:35
Speaker 1: I would be so self conscious is if you're walking away.
28:38
Speaker 1: Like That's what's hard about dating right now is because
28:43
Speaker 1: when do you have that conversation with date one. I'm
28:45
Speaker 1: getting a cocktail this weekend and it's like, oh, by
28:47
Speaker 1: the way, where are you from? What are you like?
28:49
Speaker 1: In the bedroom? That doesn't really go over well hard
28:52
Speaker 1: light pressure. It's like, I feel like you have to
28:58
Speaker 1: have one go at it before you even have those conversations.
29:00
Speaker 3: One go at it well, yeah, because I feel like
29:03
Speaker 3: the first one you it's just like a it's still
29:06
Speaker 3: like spontaneous, so you're like, you know what I mean.
29:08
Speaker 3: It's like when you go to a new restaurant you're
29:10
Speaker 3: not really sure what all.
29:11
Speaker 1: You get is one go and then they're going to
29:14
Speaker 1: their friends like wow, pretty disappointing.
29:17
Speaker 2: But I feel like if it's that bad, then that's
29:19
Speaker 2: a that's it.
29:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, that's something I couldn't even talking to you
29:22
Speaker 1: know what I mean.
29:22
Speaker 3: Like, I feel like women can sometimes be sort of
29:27
Speaker 3: like a Little League coach, where it's everyone gets a trophy.
29:31
Speaker 1: That's I think that's where the conversation I think it's
29:34
Speaker 1: drifting away from that. Yeah, where it's you know, men
29:39
Speaker 1: don't have a problem saying what they want. They usually
29:42
Speaker 1: say it. But also we're very easy. You just look
29:45
Speaker 1: at us and we're like, wow, this is great. Whereas
29:48
Speaker 1: if there's something that you really want, say it if
29:50
Speaker 1: they then if they don't do it, well then it's
29:52
Speaker 1: on them. But I don't know what. I don't know,
29:54
Speaker 1: but women are people pleasers. There's like, I'm just happy
29:56
Speaker 1: to be here, m But then I don't want you
29:59
Speaker 1: walking away disappointed. I know, telling your friends about how
30:01
Speaker 1: disappointed it was.
30:02
Speaker 3: That's literally every woman ever saying you're fine, but you're
30:05
Speaker 3: not fine.
30:05
Speaker 1: Gosh damn it. Now I'm wondering how many times has
30:07
Speaker 1: that happened?
30:10
Speaker 2: Many times? No, it has not happened at least once.
30:12
Speaker 1: No, no, well yeah, definitely at least once.
30:16
Speaker 2: Or maybe not.
30:17
Speaker 3: Like you don't give you don't give me the impression
30:19
Speaker 3: that you're someone who just kind of like, hmm, I'm
30:24
Speaker 3: trying to figure out the best way to freeze it.
30:27
Speaker 2: It's a good inn window.
30:29
Speaker 3: You don't give me the impression of someone who just
30:31
Speaker 3: goes through the motions.
30:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a very passionate guy.
30:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're probably fine.
30:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say it's if I have an opportunity,
30:40
Speaker 1: I am going to do everything I can to be
30:43
Speaker 1: the best at what I could do.
30:43
Speaker 3: You're like the best intern at the company. That's exactly
30:46
Speaker 3: I'm going to try to like I'm getting promoted.
30:49
Speaker 1: Damn right. I don't go into their thinking that I
30:52
Speaker 1: just have an easy job. No, I'm going to do
30:54
Speaker 1: whatever I can to make sure that the job gets done.
30:57
Speaker 2: It's toolbox comes from two about start screwing. You're like
31:05
Speaker 2: a NASCAR pit driver.
31:07
Speaker 1: For the Oh my gosh, oh I love it. Okay,
31:11
Speaker 1: Well back to where this conversation started. Where did we
31:14
Speaker 1: Where did where did this conversation happen? I'm not even sure, Scotty,
31:17
Speaker 1: where did this take a turn? I'm like trying to
31:19
Speaker 1: reel it back. I don't think I'm gonna know.
31:21
Speaker 2: You were talking about the commercial you heard in the bathroom.
31:23
Speaker 1: But why did I go there?
31:24
Speaker 3: Because you heard the male performancing and you're like, oh,
31:27
Speaker 3: four hours that sounds horrible.
31:28
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but then what were we talking about right
31:30
Speaker 1: before that?
31:30
Speaker 2: I really don't know.
31:32
Speaker 1: Gosh, damn it. See my brain's so tired. It's because
31:34
Speaker 1: I was up at three.
31:36
Speaker 3: You know what we teased just that we haven't talked
31:37
Speaker 3: about yet though, is our sales pitches or the events
31:41
Speaker 3: we want to do.
31:42
Speaker 1: This is actually a cool thing because I want to
31:43
Speaker 1: make sure that we have a little bit of a
31:45
Speaker 1: buy in. So we're going to talk about a couple
31:47
Speaker 1: of them, and I don't know if we could go
31:48
Speaker 1: into full details, especially with the artist one, because I
31:52
Speaker 1: want that to be a surprise. I don't want anybody
31:53
Speaker 1: to steal it.
31:54
Speaker 2: That's a good that's so true.
31:56
Speaker 1: That's my worry is I don't want anybody to steal it.
31:58
Speaker 2: So I almost will give a tease you talk about
32:00
Speaker 2: it at some point.
32:01
Speaker 3: But Scotty came to me with an idea that literally
32:03
Speaker 3: I looked him in the eye and I was like,
32:05
Speaker 3: that's the most absurd thing you could have said to me.
32:08
Speaker 2: Let's do it.
32:09
Speaker 3: And then that didn't get approved, but a smaller version
32:12
Speaker 3: of it did. It has everything to do with dressing
32:14
Speaker 3: up like a specific artist in order to get tickets
32:17
Speaker 3: and breaking records and breaking records.
32:20
Speaker 2: We are going to break a world record. That's exactly right, Oh,
32:22
Speaker 2: Alexi share, Oh.
32:25
Speaker 1: My god, we about to take over your show. We
32:27
Speaker 1: don't have to hop off?
32:28
Speaker 3: Well, oh should I give the Should I talk about
32:31
Speaker 3: the cruise that didn't work out?
32:33
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you go. Okay, we'll talk about that when
32:35
Speaker 1: we'll talk about the other one more in details. Just
32:38
Speaker 1: if you want to be part of a world record
32:40
Speaker 1: breaking moment, just like message Abby your eye and we'll
32:43
Speaker 1: start making.
32:44
Speaker 2: The Listen to Scotty don't don't put me down
32:45
Speaker 1: For that, okay at scott'sa on on