Latest / Buddhistisches Tor Berlin Podcast / Nucleus of a New Society

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Nucleus of a New Society · Buddhistisches Tor Berlin Podcast

0:09
So today I thought I'd continue on with a theme which we've been
0:15
exploring for the past weeks here at the Saturday class.
0:19
Yeah. So a while ago we were
0:23
celebrating a big Buddhist festival day.
0:25
A while ago we were celebrating Sangha Day.
0:29
Sangha Day is where we celebrate the Buddhist community.
0:33
Yeah, it's a day of community, especially those people who've
0:38
committed themselves to the Buddhist path, and especially
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those people who are further along on the path than we are.
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Yeah, we kind of. There's a special day for
0:47
community in Buddhism. That's kind of nice, isn't it?
0:50
So we did that and from then onwards we've looked at
0:54
friendship. Last week, Tarpalita gave an
0:57
amazing talk about friendship and the role of friendship in
1:01
the spiritual life. And we also looked at a teaching
1:05
called the Individual and the Spiritual community.
1:08
Yeah. How to become an individual, how
1:12
to. Well, if you sort of the the
1:16
main core of that teaching is that if you actually do want to
1:19
be part of a genuinely spiritual community, your first job is to
1:23
become an individual. That's the sort of, that's the
1:26
vision, as it were, of of a Buddhist community is that we're
1:31
not just sort of all here because we like each other.
1:35
We mostly do, but it's sort of, you know, that's not the main
1:38
reason why we're here. It's sort of a nice side effect
1:42
if that happens. Sometimes we don't like each
1:44
other and that's OK. But what brings us together is
1:48
that we're working on ourselves, that we're transforming our own
1:51
consciousness. Yeah.
1:53
That we've committed to higher ideals.
1:56
Yeah. To to the ideal of growth.
1:59
So today I kind of want to dwell a little bit more about that
2:05
because last time when I spoke, I talked mostly about what it
2:08
meant to become an individual. You know, talking about the fact
2:13
that all we do here, mindfulness, meta, is sort of
2:19
set up to do that. Yeah.
2:21
Becoming a true individual isn't something we can sort of do
2:26
aside of everything else we do here.
2:28
It is a sort of result of becoming more and more aware of
2:33
ourselves and becoming more and more emotionally positive and
2:39
just just for your, just for you to get a flavour of what that
2:42
means to become a true individual.
2:45
I've brought a little quote just to summarise that so that I
2:48
don't need to go into that any further from Sanga Raksha, the
2:52
founder of our order. And I think he summarises it,
2:57
summarises it quite beautifully. He says by individuals we mean
3:02
people who are truly human beings.
3:06
That is to say, self-conscious in the sense of being self
3:11
aware, who are emotionally positive, whose energies flow
3:16
freely and spontaneously, who accept responsibility for
3:21
themselves, who accept responsibility for their own
3:24
life, for their own growth, their own individual
3:29
development, and to act accordingly.
3:32
Because they see such growth, such development being the most
3:36
important thing in life for each and every human being.
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And who therefore commit themselves wholeheartedly to the
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process of that individual development.
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It's a bit of a long quote so I won't read it again
3:49
unfortunately, but it's just for you to give give you a flavour.
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What we've been looking at. Yeah, that's what we've been
3:55
looking at. So if those people come
3:57
together, we, we form community. So I want to, I want to dwell a
4:02
bit more on this whole subject of community because it's a
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subject that is quite dear to my heart.
4:10
I've been recently reflecting about the fact that, you know, I
4:14
came to the Buddhist centre here.
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I came to this one. Actually, this is the first
4:18
Buddhist centre I ever came to. I'm here 12 years later.
4:24
But when I came here first, I was, I was definitely not
4:28
looking for community. I was one of those people who,
4:32
you know, had friends. I had family, I had friends.
4:40
Trust me, I'm friends. But I was looking for, I was
4:46
looking I guess for philosophy. I was looking for truth.
4:49
I was looking for maybe even meditation, even though, as I
4:53
always famously say, I always found meditation really boring
4:55
at the beginning, didn't know how to do it.
5:00
But just looking back over the past 12 years of what I've, what
5:06
I've been given, what I've actually received, I can truly
5:09
say I have received community. I think that's the biggest thing
5:14
that I have that, that, that I've been given through the
5:18
practice of, of Buddhism. Yeah, it's sort of for me,
5:22
that's the biggest gift in a way that has emerged from from
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practicing Buddhism. It's it's a deep friendship and
5:30
the knowledge of the different relationships I'm in and also a
5:34
gift of relationships that I've never known before.
5:39
Yeah. So, you know, through working on
5:44
myself, working on my mind working, you know, through meta
5:46
and meditation and mindfulness on myself, I've been able to now
5:52
in a whole network of relationships which I never
5:54
thought, you know, existed. Still, all of a sudden I've got
5:59
a whole network of friends, I've got a network of teachers even
6:04
I've got a, you know, a network of people, you know, sort of
6:08
older brothers and sisters sort of this is new types of
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relationships have opened up for myself in life and my existing
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relationships to my parents, to other friends have deepened
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through that. So I just feel intensely
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grateful for those relationships.
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And which is why I kind of want to, my talk is a bit of a
6:32
celebration of all that. Yeah, it's a bit of a
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celebration of the relationships that a spiritual community can
6:38
can bring about. So it's really transformed and
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and deepened those relationships, not always
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immediately, Sometimes it took some time on my end.
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I had to get there. But I think it's, every now and
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again, it's good to look at what Buddhist practice is actually
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trying to get at. Yeah, we're usually very
7:07
concerned about the right technique, the right kind of,
7:11
you know, how do I, how do I do mindfulness?
7:12
Really, what does it really mean?
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How do I activate my meta when actually I'm coming more and
7:19
more to the realization that Buddhist practice is about other
7:23
people. Yeah.
7:25
Is about others. Is about how we are with others
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in the world. Yeah.
7:33
And that is because one of the core Buddhist teachings and
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realizations is that of, you know, the fact that we, that
7:41
ourselves aren't so fixed and separated as we usually think
7:45
they are. Yeah.
7:48
You know, sometimes there's this word interconnectedness floating
7:50
around the Internet in connection with Buddhism.
7:54
It's not quite the best word. Actually.
7:56
It's not quite the best word to describe what we mean by that.
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It's more saying, well, the Buddha said that we're all not
8:03
so different and so static and so fixed as we think we are.
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There's more to us than, you know, what we currently
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experience. So This is why I think looking
8:15
at other people and and relationships tells us a lot
8:18
about what, well, what meditation is for, for example,
8:21
what ethics are for, what meta is actually for.
8:25
So to go into that, I would like to introduce you to very, very
8:33
good. I'm not very good with
8:36
adjectives good with very good teaching from the Buddha fill in
8:46
the gap. I mean, come on, English is
8:48
difficult. I have with a very inspiring and
8:54
mind blowing. I don't know I'm not very good
8:58
at marketing teaching by the Buddha called the Sigaluvada
9:03
Suta. Yeah.
9:04
So in this Suta, Suta is a teaching, in this teaching the
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the Buddha, 2 1/2 thousand years ago, he was kind of wandering
9:12
around and he encountered A Brahman.
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So Brahman is is not a Buddhist. They follow, follow of Hinduism.
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And he sees this Brahman worshipping, ritually
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worshipping and revering the six directions of space.
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Yeah. So the north-south, east, West,
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up and down. Yeah.
9:34
So he's sort of making offerings to the, to the gods and
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goddesses in all those 6 directions.
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And the Buddha inquires and says, well, what are you doing
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there? He replies, well, I'm
9:45
worshipping the six directions because my father on his
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deathbed, he said to me, you know, please continue my work,
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continue worshipping the six directions and protection and
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security and safety will be ensured.
10:01
Yeah. And then the Buddha says, as he
10:03
famously does, he's a bit of a sometimes a party pooper to
10:06
people. He's like, well, that's not how
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we do it. That's not how you really
10:11
worship the six directions to really worship the six
10:17
directions. So it's a bit of an allegory
10:20
here. He says, first of all, he says,
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well, first the thing you need to do is you need to leave the
10:29
14 bad things behind, and then the six directions will be
10:33
covered. So the six directions, he
10:37
reveals later on, are actually the six main relationships we
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have in our life. Yeah.
10:42
So that is that's the real meaning of the six directions.
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It's not literally making offerings to the six directions,
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but it's the six main relationships that we're in.
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And he says that the East is our parents, the South is the
10:57
teachers, the West is the spouse, the partner, the north
11:02
are the friends and companions. Below us are people who work for
11:06
us, and above us are the ascetics.
11:10
Holy men. Yeah.
11:11
As they existed at the time. Yeah.
11:13
So at the time in India, you had people of all sorts of different
11:17
spiritual traditions who were wondering for and looking for
11:22
truth. Yeah.
11:23
Looking for a meaning. What I find interesting is that
11:27
he, it's quite, it's quite interesting.
11:32
He, he goes into before he actually gets to those six
11:35
directions, he spends a lot, lot of time talking about ethics.
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So ethics and Buddhism, you know, means, you know, first of
11:42
all, you need to really stop doing anything stupid.
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You know, be kind to people, be generous, you know, sort of try
11:51
to lead a simple, simple life and speak the truth and try not
11:56
to get intoxicated. So these are sort of the basic 5
12:01
presets of Buddhism, he says. OK, so these are the these are
12:04
the grounds you need, you need to cover that ground first, you
12:07
know, first work on yourself, really establish, you know, a
12:11
lovely behaviour towards other people.
12:13
Yeah. And yourself, obviously, yeah.
12:15
Establish a kind of, I mean, ethics in Buddhism.
12:19
You know, sometimes if we grow up with a kind of, I don't know,
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very European or sort of monotheistic background, we, you
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think of ethics as like these sort of strict rules that we
12:29
need to adhere just to sort of be part of a group or something.
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And Buddhism, I think the more I come to it and the more I come
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to think of it is ethics just means a behaviour, whatever that
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might look like, that is just really pleasing.
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Yeah. That's just really when you are
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with people where you can feel like people start to relax
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around you. People start to sort of, you
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know, come at ease. There's this sort of nice flow
12:55
of communication happening. You show yourself the other
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person can open up as well. You're being kind.
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You're, you're being generous. The Buddha doesn't quite tell
13:05
you how to do all these things, but he says, you know, the
13:08
effects of that are, you know, you are in better mental states.
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And this is how you can judge whether you've been ethical or
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not in Buddhism. It's not so much to do with the
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fact of, you know, have you checked the list?
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It's more like, have you, you know, have you been able to
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behave in a way that, you know, it's just very easy for people
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to be around? Yeah.
13:29
Are you, are you sort of able to let go of your own self a little
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bit more? Just are you able to let go of
13:36
the preoccupation with your own self a bit more?
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And then I'm not going to talk about it too long, but I found
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it quite funny after that. He he tell, he says, OK, so the
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next thing you need to let go of are the six drains of on wealth.
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So 6 things which drain your wealth, which is interesting,
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you know, talking about relationships and wealth here.
14:02
So the first one is consuming beer, wine and liquor.
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It's and the first thing he says, the first drawback of
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drinking is immediate loss of wealth.
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So the Buddha is quite pragmatic here.
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The second one is roaming the streets at night.
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It's quite interesting because you can, you can get a sense of
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the sort of traditional society he was in.
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He says well, the six drawbacks of roaming the street at night
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are yourself, your partners and children and your property are
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all left unguarded. You're suspected of bad deeds,
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untrue rumours spread about you, you're at the forefront of many
14:52
things that entail suffering. So stop drinking and roaming the
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streets at night if you want to get on with your parents and
15:03
friends. Well, the third one is
15:07
frequenting festivals. So sorry, Buddhism is is like,
15:15
and he says, I found that very funny.
15:17
These are the six drawbacks of frequenting festivals.
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You're always thinking, where's the dancing?
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Where's the singing? Where's the music?
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Where are the stories? Where's the applause?
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Where are the kettle drums? So these are the six drawbacks
15:38
of frequenting festivals. Well, then the fifth one is
15:42
gambling, hopefully obvious. And then, you know the what's
15:48
it? Fifth one is bad friends, and
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I'm going to talk a bit more about that later.
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And then the 6th 1 is laziness, which I also found quite
15:57
interesting because it's like procrastination isn't a new
16:00
thing apparently it's 2 1/2 thousand years old apparently.
16:04
So these are the six drawbacks of habitual laziness.
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You don't get your work done because you think it's too cold,
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it's too hot, it's it's too late, it's too early, I'm too
16:14
hungry, I'm too full. By dwelling on so many excuses
16:19
for not working, you don't make any more money and the money you
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already have runs out. Which is very Berlin, isn't it?
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Yeah, We can all recognise ourselves in this text.
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So he says, OK, you know, don't do that.
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You know, if you want the six directions to be guarded, you
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know, if you actually want to be able to engage in, in an ease of
16:48
communication and an ease of relationship with, you know,
16:53
your, your, your, your partners, your, your parents, your friends
16:57
and so on. You know, you, you, you do need
17:00
to take responsibility for yourself.
17:02
Like Samraksha said in that first quote, become an
17:06
individual, someone who is actively taking responsibility
17:11
for their own actions and their own life.
17:15
Interestingly, he then he didn't, he doesn't mention that
17:17
in the beginning, but he then adds in a whole section on fake
17:23
friends and good hearted friends and how to and how to
17:28
distinguish them. So he keeps coming back to
17:30
friendship. Interestingly, now say a little
17:32
bit more about that later. So he then comes on to say,
17:40
well, if there's all these sort of these relationships we have
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and he he also enlists for every relationship, he sort of enlists
17:48
duties that we have towards those people.
17:51
I'm not going to go into that. Most of these things actually
17:54
fairly, you know, down to earth teachings, they're quite sort
18:01
of, you know, it's just sort of treat people kindly, treat
18:05
people with respect. That's kind of the main, the
18:07
main gist of the whole teaching. And and people will treat you
18:10
kindly and with respect back as well.
18:14
What I do want to go into is three of those three of those
18:22
relationships. Yeah.
18:23
So parents, I'll leave out. I mean, I, I get on well with my
18:29
parents. It's not always easy, but there
18:31
we go. But I sort of, I mean, I had a
18:34
relationship with parents before, before joining Buddhism.
18:38
I do want to say something about teachers, about friends and
18:43
about aesthetics. Yeah.
18:45
And what that could mean for us today, because I think those
18:49
three relationships are the ones that I've particularly gained
18:54
and that I'm still sort of trying to figure out, you know,
18:58
what they mean for my life. Because they haven't.
19:01
I don't really had a big experience of those before I
19:06
came, except for the friends, of course, before I came to to
19:11
Buddhism. First thing is first thing is
19:14
teachers. Actually now it's not like you
19:19
know this, you know, we sort of got teachers running around here
19:22
in the Buddhist centre. We're sort of all teachery a
19:24
whole lot. At least it's more that through,
19:29
you know, come in contact with the Buddhist centre and then,
19:33
you know, more and more seeing that this is a path for me,
19:39
seeing that it is something that I would like to do more and more
19:42
in my life. That is something that I want to
19:44
put at the heart of my life when I was then deciding that I want
19:49
to get ordained. Ordination in our context means
19:53
exactly that, that we are people who've decided that Buddhism is
19:57
the most important thing in our life.
19:59
This is what we want to place at the heart of our life.
20:03
You know, when you do that, when you start to train for the
20:05
nation, obviously you start to sort of reach out to all the
20:09
members who are more experienced than you are.
20:11
Yeah. People who know, you know what,
20:15
what, how it is because they've been living this life for long,
20:18
for a long time. So those people wouldn't
20:22
consider themselves my teachers. Which is interesting, but the
20:27
more I'm thinking of them, the more I really realized that, you
20:30
know, I have actually gained spiritual teachers.
20:33
I obviously had teachers at school, you know, and I've
20:37
teachers in, you know, when I, you know, because I used to play
20:41
instruments and make music. So you've got teachers there.
20:44
You've got teachers in sports. But I didn't have a relationship
20:49
as a teacher with those people usually, or it was a very
20:52
formalized relationship. One of the things that I
20:58
realized was just that a real genuine sort of teacher
21:04
relationship is when you come in contact with someone who's more
21:07
experienced than you are. And that relationship is based
21:13
on a sort of mutual friendship, on a mutual interest and
21:18
kindness. So, you know, I came to the
21:21
Buddhist center here when I was 19.
21:24
I asked for ordination when I was 21.
21:27
So I was sort of quite young and naive and idealistic and pushy.
21:33
I've been told that I've been quite rude as well at times,
21:38
working on that. But the person that I then
21:42
eventually asked to attain me is Dhamma Priya.
21:44
He's here, He's part of the center team here.
21:47
And at the time he was 70 something 71, I think.
21:53
So there was this huge age gap between us, right?
21:56
There was this huge age gap. And I, I just remember thinking,
22:00
how, how is this going to work? How will he be able to sort of,
22:04
you know, help me in my spiritual journey?
22:07
Will I be able to open up towards him?
22:09
Will I be able to, you know, really, you know, sort of have
22:12
that kind of relationship with him?
22:14
The more I when we met every week, he made a point of where
22:18
you you have to meet up with me every week over the course of
22:21
the year. I felt like, gosh, this old man
22:25
is interested in me, has a lot to say about life in general and
22:31
also about Buddhism. And he just, he just sort of
22:35
reacts with this like intense care and kindness towards me
22:40
whenever I open up about my struggles.
22:42
Yeah, like real friendship sort of emerged here and I thought,
22:48
gosh, that's quite something. I've never like, I've never had
22:54
that experience in my life before that I had this kind of
22:56
intense relationship with someone who just genuinely
23:00
wanted to sort of help, you know, and you know, he's a
23:04
normal person as well. So he has his quirks.
23:06
And, you know, we had had our misunderstandings as well and
23:09
our sort of, you know, occasional sort of fight as well
23:15
because we're both very strong headed individuals.
23:19
But but underneath all that, it's just was just this like
23:22
intense, like she just really wanted me to be well, so.
23:28
And he wanted me to succeed. So eventually when he ordained
23:32
me, he also gave me my Buddhist name, Dharma Sara.
23:35
And I just remember that moment being like, I was as if sort of
23:40
his whole, this whole kindness of his was sort of manifested in
23:43
this sort of act of saying, yeah, I believe that you are
23:46
ready now. And I believe that you can do
23:48
this now and off you go. So I've gained a relationship
23:54
there, which is one of, you know, not just help, but also
23:58
then he sort of said, well, now it's your turn.
24:02
Now I'm here as a friend, but I'm not, you know, I'm not going
24:04
to tell you what to do anymore. And that is a great gift if
24:08
someone can actually leave you alone and let you get on with
24:12
things. You know, sometimes you have a
24:14
bit of a helper complex and just you want to keep sort of helping
24:17
people, but to have someone who can see when it's appropriate to
24:21
just sort of, you know, let the that that that the young guy run
24:25
as it were. And he still is a good friend of
24:28
mine. There's two other two other
24:30
friends that I have, Padmaavatra and my Trabondu.
24:32
They're both from England who just sort of who just placed a
24:37
lot of faith and trust in me. Yeah, just sort of been been
24:44
really able to look out for me and you know, sort of excuse a
24:50
lot of idealism and excuse a lot of naivety and I still don't
24:56
know how to describe that feeling, but it's a it's a very
24:58
new experience for me. But again and again they
25:04
sometimes ask me to do something.
25:05
So Macho Bandit sometimes asks me to do something.
25:08
So a while ago I had to give a little talk in an online thing.
25:14
And I mean, I just sort of did it because he was my friend.
25:18
But afterwards, I received quite a lot of messages from those
25:22
people who are sort of my teachers, but also other people
25:24
who are experienced sort of saying, well done, great.
25:26
You know, you did a really good job there.
25:28
It's just such a weird feeling to be sort of acknowledged by
25:33
people you look up to. Yeah, such a weird sort of, it's
25:36
not like, oh, they finally see me or something.
25:40
It's this sort of it's sort of I think how I imagine traditional
25:43
societies to be like a little bit more where you just feel
25:46
like, OK, there's this sort of you do, you are amongst people
25:50
who are more experienced than you and therefore can say, oh,
25:53
well done. You know, you did well here.
25:56
There's I've got experience and you're learning, but I can see
26:01
that you that you're growing and I can and I appreciate that
26:03
you're growing and I appreciate that you're taking on my work as
26:06
it were. So I don't know what you do with
26:11
that information, but it's just, it's just I think it's part of
26:16
maybe to bring it back to Buddhist practice.
26:18
It's part of what matter and what community looks like
26:24
exemplified. Yeah.
26:26
I think when we are, you know, I think the main job of, you know,
26:31
in any profession in any kind of field of work is to sort of find
26:34
people who can take on on that work and to encourage them and
26:37
to sort of really, you know, give them meaning.
26:42
And meta and blessings, as we call them, which is which is
26:47
which is just that. Yeah.
26:49
The Buddhist sense of blessings is, is actually love is meta.
26:52
Yeah. And to really love people and
26:55
encourage them to to grow because we want them to become
26:59
individuals themselves. Yeah.
27:00
This is the main job of community is to make sure that
27:06
people within it have everything they need to become individuals
27:09
themselves, to grow and to practice going on.
27:16
So this is sort of my reflections on what it means to
27:21
have a teacher or have teachers. I do want to say a little bit
27:25
about friendship, even though we've heard quite a lot about
27:27
friends Now I've I had, I'm not going to repeat the joke.
27:33
I had friends before, but it's a sort of the type of friendship
27:37
which I've been able to receive and give.
27:45
It's just been sorry, it's just been quite remarkable.
27:48
It's, it's a sort of our ideal of friendship is very high in
27:53
Buddhism. It's almost too high, sort of
27:56
too high that most, you know, that it's sort of bound for
27:59
disappointment, you know, But I think that's true for any
28:03
friendship. I think friendship means
28:07
disappointment. I think, I think it's sort of
28:11
build in the system. You know, if you actually want
28:15
to be a friend, you need to allow yourself to be really
28:17
disappointed in the friend. Yeah, I think that's what
28:19
friendship means. So there's there's one friend in
28:24
particular. Well, I want to talk about.
28:29
Sorry, which I think all most of you know, because I keep talking
28:34
about him and he's a good friend of mine who, who I got ordained
28:39
with. So when we, when we get
28:40
ordained, we, some of us, most of us are encouraged to go on a
28:45
long retreat. So in my case, this was a four
28:47
month long retreat in Spain. And the conditions in this case,
28:54
you know that, I mean, I I love the place, but it's just the
28:56
first time you get there, you sort of swallow and you think,
28:58
OK, four months here. Someone, someone in our group
29:02
said, well, it's not going to get a four-star review at
29:05
TripAdvisor. It's sort of slightly better
29:08
than camping. Yeah.
29:10
And you're sort of in this small Hut, always 2 of you.
29:14
So I was there with Shanti Kara. People know them know him.
29:19
I've known him before. He's sort of my age as well.
29:21
And we were both, you know, sort of mid 20s when we got ordained.
29:26
We were kind of young ones on the course, very idealistic,
29:30
very kind of sort of bright, I guess.
29:35
And, you know, for most of this time there was just this, like,
29:40
love between us. Yeah.
29:41
There was just sort of love which didn't just was, which
29:46
wasn't just based on likes and dislikes.
29:48
Yeah. I think this is the main point
29:50
in Buddhism is that friendship shouldn't just be based on
29:55
common likes and dislikes. It's sort of spiritual
29:59
friendship, Buddhist friendship comes about of a shared ideal.
30:02
Yeah, a shared path, a shared practice which sort of weirdly
30:07
colours everything. So, you know, it's a very tight
30:12
space that we were in. Like we shared those four months
30:15
in and, you know, we got into fights as well.
30:20
We got into, you know, I I just keep, you know, he keeps being
30:24
disappointed in me. I keep being disappointed in it,
30:27
but again and again, you sort of just come back and you just say,
30:30
OK, now I will commit to this. Yeah, I know that there there's
30:33
more going on here. The more I think about it, the
30:38
more I think that friendship means commitment.
30:42
If you do want to have a good friendship, you need to be
30:47
disappointed and commit to coming back.
30:51
You know, unless it's obviously toxic.
30:54
Caveat little you know, you know, just don't commit to
30:58
anyone. Please, you know, choose your
31:00
friends well, but if you have a genuinely, genuinely good
31:04
feeling about them, then, you know, be disappointed and come
31:07
back. Like we were lucky enough to
31:12
sort of come back to to this place four years later to share,
31:18
share again Hut for three months.
31:21
This time we were part of the team.
31:23
So we were helping people get ordained there in this place.
31:28
So now we all set to work together.
31:30
And if you really want to be disappointed in someone, then
31:34
you work with them. So I just remember this one time
31:39
where we were asked to build a shrine.
31:41
Yeah, build a sort of something like this.
31:43
Yeah, but sort of makeshift in a tent kind of thing.
31:46
And I just remember being, like, so annoyed at him.
31:48
I was like, he was like, I don't know, everything that I wanted
31:52
to do he didn't do. And everything I didn't want him
31:54
to do, he did do. It was like, you know, you sort
31:57
of feel like you're sort of in this parallel paralysis all of a
31:59
sudden because you just get more and more annoyed and you think,
32:03
you know, can you just stop existing for a moment?
32:06
And I remember in that moment all I had to do.
32:12
Well, it sounds easy, but I remember deciding in that moment
32:15
that what I had to do was to just completely surrender.
32:19
And that was all I could do because I was so annoyed.
32:21
I was like, you know, steam coming from my ears, you know,
32:26
sort of my fist twitching. I'm not violent, don't worry.
32:33
I remember and I remember then all of a sudden this flow
32:35
appeared because I think he picked up on that as well and he
32:38
entered the the same state. And at the end of the day, we
32:41
were just sort of saying, oh, that run really beautifully.
32:43
And we sort of were able to build this like amazing shrine.
32:47
It was like it was actually like a work of art.
32:49
Like, I mean, not to boast ourselves, but it was like it
32:53
was like really good. It was like it was good.
33:02
So it's just, it's just, you know, because we've both
33:05
committed to something, we had to come back because we had our
33:08
practice of matter of mindfulness, we were able to let
33:11
go more and we were able to let go of self a bit more.
33:16
Self and Buddhism isn't a thing, it's a process.
33:19
We are sort of constantly selfing, building up a sort of
33:23
self and trying to protect it around us.
33:26
Because I knew he loved me and I loved him, we sort of, I could
33:31
let go into that. Second story is that towards the
33:37
end of that three month period, we had like a meeting and we
33:42
talked about what we would say and he didn't, you know, then
33:46
didn't do what I told him to do. And I got really annoyed with
33:50
him. We were sort of walking back to
33:52
our Hut and I remember just sort of being like, OK, So what
33:56
happened? Like, what was that about like
33:58
the weird, why, why didn't you sort of do what we agreed to say
34:02
and all that? And he just sort of, I remember
34:06
him like backing off and like becoming more and more quiet.
34:10
He's English by the way, which is, you know, I'm, I'm learning
34:16
a lot because where I come from or my family is like, the
34:21
approach is like head first to the door.
34:23
You know, it's like, so I remember sitting him down and
34:25
being like, so we need to talk about this and this is a problem
34:28
and you're being annoying. And it's like, you tell me
34:31
because now what you're feeling, please.
34:34
And I don't remember him just being like being like, I don't
34:37
know what pushed, pushed against the wall.
34:41
And again, I had to, I had to completely because I, I
34:45
unfortunately identify with that a lot.
34:47
Like, I think that's the best way to talk about problems is to
34:50
just be like, hello, I really think that's the best way to
34:56
identify a lot. But with him, I just could not
34:58
get through at all. It was impossible.
35:01
So again, we had to book. Like he then sort of noticed
35:04
that his approach wasn't working with me either because I was
35:06
kidding running at him more and more.
35:14
But it's sort of, I don't have to be like, OK, different
35:17
cultures. And then I then backed off and
35:22
went quiet. And then he started talking and
35:24
I was like, OK. And then finally we we managed
35:26
to sort of read something and it all of a sudden it flowed.
35:30
And there was this sort of sense of, oh, yeah, we'll just keep
35:33
coming back. Like there was just this in that
35:35
moment, we knew we would just always come back and.
35:38
And that would be fine. Yeah.
35:41
It's sort of the closest I felt to, you know, the sort of word
35:45
brotherhood, whatever that might mean.
35:47
Yeah, I think it's a word which we sort of use exponentially
35:51
among men at least. But usually it doesn't mean
35:55
much. In this case, I felt like, no,
35:57
you're not just a friend. It does feel more like there's a
35:59
relationship, like a relation there, almost like a sibling.
36:03
I can't quite explain that, but it's a sort of sibling hood
36:06
through through values or something.
36:08
Yeah. Because I really feel like I
36:11
can't just drop him now, like it's impossible to do.
36:18
OK. And then lastly, I'd like to
36:20
just very briefly mention, you know, what the Buddha might have
36:24
meant with aesthetics or holy man at the time.
36:31
I think that's that category is a bit more difficult for us to
36:34
translate into day-to-day life because there's not that many
36:38
homeless wonderers. Well, there's a few homeless
36:41
people, but but they are not they might not be practicing
36:45
upon. Sorry, this is weird.
36:49
Anyway, delete that. There's not that many hold on,
36:57
but I think that means OK, I'm just translating now.
37:01
What I think that means is that we do sort of acknowledge that
37:06
people are more experienced than us.
37:07
Yeah, That we do sort of treat people who are more experienced
37:12
in whatever field with sort of due respect.
37:15
In my case, I think for me, what that means is to, you know, that
37:18
to protect, as it were, that quarter is to learn to look up
37:24
and to Revere. Yeah.
37:26
So for me, for example, that is the Buddha.
37:28
Yeah. The Buddha is one of those
37:30
people that more and more through my practice of I can, I
37:35
can sort of, I have sort of entered into what I might call a
37:38
relationship with. It's not like, you know,
37:40
sometimes Christians say they have a relationship with God or
37:42
something and you sort of speak to him.
37:44
It's not quite the same in Buddhism.
37:47
You know, the Buddha was a human being 2 1/2 thousand years ago
37:50
who then gained enlightenment, which is a sort of different
37:54
category now. He's sort of transcended human
37:57
hood. He's sort of transcended.
38:00
He's not a normal person, but he's also not a God.
38:03
He's sort of our teacher, our sort of archetypal teacher.
38:06
You can say the Buddha himself, he when he got enlightened, he
38:12
sort of asked himself the question, well, now that I've
38:16
reached this supreme state, who do I Revere?
38:19
Because being without reverence means to suffer.
38:23
So even the Buddha acknowledged that reverence, looking up is
38:27
something essential just for human happiness.
38:32
Obviously in our day-to-day life, we've become, we've become
38:35
very suspicious of looking up to people who've come, very
38:38
suspicious, especially of people who claim to be holy, because
38:42
again, we've been duly humbled by that.
38:49
But I think what that means is to sort of have this.
38:51
It doesn't have to be a kind of blind faith.
38:53
I don't think that's what the Buddha means.
38:55
It doesn't mean to sort of put yourself down.
38:57
It's more an opening up. I think it's more a sort of
39:00
receptive approach is more something where you think, well,
39:04
I mean, here, here we all are on this earth.
39:07
What does that mean? And there's so much more to
39:11
learn. Yeah.
39:12
And there's so much more to learn.
39:14
So let's let's let's look for that.
39:16
Let's look out for, you know, whoever might be able to teach
39:20
us. It doesn't mean to sort of, you
39:24
know, put ourselves down. As I said, it's not.
39:26
So when I kind of think of the Buddha, I don't feel sort of
39:28
small and sinful or whatever. I feel greater.
39:32
Yeah. I feel like, OK, it's, I'm glad
39:35
there was someone all this time ago who had something to say,
39:41
something of value, you know, And I have a similar feeling or
39:48
be it to a different degree, you know, to the, you know, Buddhist
39:51
masters of the past, our own founder like Sam Rochester, just
39:56
people who've set up all these conditions through their wisdom.
40:01
And inside that, you know, that's why we're here today.
40:03
That's why we can follow those teachings.
40:05
That's why we are able to follow these practices.
40:09
And I think that is worthy of reference.
40:13
So just to finish up, you know, a Buddhist community, a
40:18
spiritual community is an ideal. Yeah.
40:20
It's an ideal situation. It is not something that just
40:26
exists. Yeah.
40:27
It's not something that is just here.
40:29
So I can't tell you, you know, join our spiritual community
40:33
because in a way, there is, there is none.
40:35
Yeah, there's nothing to join, as it were.
40:40
The ideal of community in Buddhism is an ideal.
40:44
And I think ideals are meant to sort of hover above everything.
40:48
I think that's sometimes where the problem comes from is that
40:51
we think ideals should manifest like literally where we are
40:55
right now, an ideal supposed to hover above us, an ideal
41:00
supposed to be sort of never reached on in this time and
41:04
place. Yeah.
41:06
So if we're lucky, through our practice, we will be able to get
41:10
a glimpse of something shining through.
41:13
We'll be able to get a glimpse of what spiritual community,
41:16
what spiritual friendship might mean, shimmer through.
41:18
And I think that's a good attitude not to get too
41:21
disappointed too quickly as well.
41:25
So the ideal of the spiritual community is people who just
41:29
genuinely work on themselves through meditation, through
41:33
ethics, and who enter into genuine relationships with each
41:38
other on the basis of their own commitment.
41:42
This is this is basically what we're trying to do here in the
41:47
centre. Well, sometimes I don't quite
41:52
like to say that because it's, I don't know.
41:54
Sometimes it sounds as though we're trying to make the centre
41:57
like one big spiritual community.
41:59
It's more the centre is trying to be an opportunity for
42:03
spiritual communities to happen, like little pockets of spiritual
42:08
communities and friendships to happen wherever, when, whenever
42:11
and wherever that might be the case.
42:13
Yeah. So we're just trying to set up
42:16
conditions that people can use, that people can, you know,
42:23
actively engage with. I have another quote for you
42:28
again from San Rochester, the founder of Tratnam, our
42:32
community. And he gave a speech at one of,
42:39
at the opening of the of like a big Buddhist centre in London.
42:44
That was in the 70s, late 70s, I think.
42:48
And he, I find it quite funny. So he's, so that center at the
42:53
time was called Sokavati. So that's what he's saying.
42:57
So he's saying, well Sokavati, that Buddhist center is not
43:01
intended for that sort of thing, not a merely therapeutic
43:05
meditation, not just a 5 minute meditation.
43:09
So that having done it, one can go home and carry on with 1
43:12
so-called normal life, exactly as before, having taken your
43:16
therapeutic or medicinal dose of Buddhism just to keep you going
43:20
on in the same old way. And then he goes on to say, So
43:26
Socavity, we hope, will serve a more noble function than that, a
43:30
more radical, I might even say a more revolutionary function than
43:33
that, just keeping people going, giving them their sort of
43:37
meditational vitamins so that they can stagger along on the
43:40
path of worldliness for a few more days or a few more weeks.
43:46
Socavity, as you have already heard from no less than a person
43:49
than the lips of the chairman of the Centre.
43:51
It's intended to be nothing less than the nucleus of a new
43:55
society. So at the time the word new
43:59
society was kind of around apparently in the 70s.
44:01
So he's sort of using that almost almost ironically and
44:06
trying to give a new meaning. And what he means by that is
44:09
what I've just described. Yes, it's, it's it's, again, the
44:12
vision of what we're trying to do here is something where if
44:17
we're lucky, you know, if we try our best each individually,
44:23
something of that glimpse of that core of friendship, of
44:27
community can shine through. Yeah.
44:30
That is really what Buddhism is trying to do, is trying to
44:34
establish through individual responsibility that allow people
44:40
to enter into relationships with one another, which hopefully
44:43
will have an impact on the world.
44:45
Yeah. Thank you very much.
44:47
That's all I have to say.