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Dating is Complicated . . . So We Asked a Hollywood Matchmaker! · Inside The Moms Club

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome, moms. Welcome inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Monica Samuels, and I'm here with my lovely co host,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Julie or Good.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: I thank you. It's so good to see you.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: It's good.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: We're here in Austin, Texas, our hometown, which is nice.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: We usually we record lots in Los Angeles, so it's
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: nice to be here at home.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And it gets me, you know, because when i'm home,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I start to feel like, you know, I put projects
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: on my plate that I can't do when I'm just
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: traveling around all over the place. So one of my
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: projects is you, Julie.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Oh boy, okay, okay, I'm ready. I think I think.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: Currently would you describe yourself as you?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Single?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Right? Not?
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't like the world available?
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: That just sounds I don't know. I'm gonna go on
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: the market sounds bad too, in my opinion. You're single,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: right right? Well, I'm gonna help you.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Oh boy.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I can't go out looking for?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: You know, well, my husband wouldn't appreciate it. I started
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: looking for a man myself. So I've decided I'm gonna
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: proud of you, and I'm your Yes, you're my project.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: So I formulated some questions that I'm going to answer.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: All right, I'm going to answer honestly.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, honestly, because that's the only way we can find
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: perfect man for you.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: So question one, I am looking for.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: A as a cougar, A young hot stud men over
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: thirty five need not apply. B someone I can look
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: through my high school yearbook with who won't point and
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: laugh at everyone's clothes and hairstyles. I ease someone your
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: own age, see an elderly, childless billionaire, because I'm a
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: natural born caretaker.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Listen, are those all my only options?
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: The only ones I don't know?
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: See?
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I think that's a prudent choice.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: I guess.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm nurse train and if it doesn't work out,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: it won't last that long.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: I write the next one.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, well that makes me sound. Say let's go to then.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's a cold, snowy night in a mountain cabin.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: The fire is roaring, and I'm about to go to bed.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I would rather take with me A the man of
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: my dreams, or B flannel pajamas, warm fuzzy bed socks,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: and a hot water bottle.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Listen. I'm sorry to say it, but I'm going.
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: With b.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, I might need some help.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I think you're a board of a challenge that I
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: am able to handle. So thank goodness, we have someone
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: with us today who might be able to help us.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank god, I as I can use all the help.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I may not be the person to do that, so
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: we are happy to have with us today. A certified
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: dating and relationship coach who has written a memoir style
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: book called Your Last First Date Secrets from a Hollywood Matchmaker.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Her company, LJ Matchmaking has been the go to company
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: for Hollywood top Hollywood's top actors, executives, and creatives for years.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: She is married to a former client. We definitely asked
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: her about that, and they are the proud parents of
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: a daughter. Please welcome JD. Samuel's Cuba. Welcome to the
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Mom's Club. Hi, thank you so much for having me. Hi,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: thank you for being here.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I feel confident that you can solve a lot of
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: these questions and put us on the right road because
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: you're a Samuels. I'm a Samuel, so I have great
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: faith in you that you can you can steer Julie
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: in the right direction because I don't know if you
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: were listening, but those answers I.
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: Was, yeah, we're gonna have to sidebar about the last
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: name thing later. So many questions, but yeah, in terms
• 3:43
  Speaker 6: of your responses, So it reminded me a little bit
• 3:46
  Speaker 6: of that article that's that's you know, gone viral of
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: is having a boyfriend embarrassing?
• 3:52
  Speaker 7: You know?
• 3:53
  Speaker 6: So maybe you fall into the category where you're like,
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: I'm good on my own, I don't need to be
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: getting into all that in a fireplace, and maybe a
• 4:01
  Speaker 6: good book sounds so likeable. But you know, the type
• 4:05
  Speaker 6: of people that I typically the clientele that I attract,
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: there are people who have the mindset that having the
• 4:12
  Speaker 6: wrong boyfriend is extremely embarrassing, but having your dream man
• 4:17
  Speaker 6: curl up with you at the end of the night
• 4:19
  Speaker 6: is the end goal or dream woman for some. And
• 4:22
  Speaker 6: so you know, that's what I'm here for is to
• 4:25
  Speaker 6: get to the bottom of is that what you really want?
• 4:27
  Speaker 6: Is that what listeners out there really want?
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: And how can I help them find it?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: So tell So you're also your TV writer. You've written
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: for Family Guy and other shows. So how did you
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: go from being a TV writer to being a matchmaker?
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: That's a great question.
• 4:45
  Speaker 6: I mean, I still do both, but I did start
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: as exclusively a TV writer, and even back when I
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: was an assistant in television, I just noticed there was
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: this great need.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: For people people all over really.
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: To find like mind did, grounded serious people looking to
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: connect in that way. But in the entertainment industry it
• 5:06
  Speaker 6: just is a bit more challenging. In a city like
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: Los Angeles, it's like a perfect storm. And so even
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: within the microcosm of Family Guy, where I was assisting,
• 5:16
  Speaker 6: I just noticed there were so many incredibly accomplished, amazing
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: women that hadn't settled down, and it wasn't due to
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: lack of desire. And I thought, what if I became
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: that hub that people felt like was missing and helped
• 5:30
  Speaker 6: them connect. And so everything just snowballed from there.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: How did it first start?
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Did you just you were you brought together two people
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: and like, you're really good at this, and then you
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: why did this start?
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: Forget two people? I was like, let's start with dozens,
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: you know. I just spread the word that I had
• 5:47
  Speaker 6: a company that was not even formally created yet, there
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: was no LLC or anything like that. I just started
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: charging ten dollars a month, I told everyone to tell
• 5:56
  Speaker 6: their friends.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: Eventually, my my eventual.
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: Business partner, who work at the time worked in the
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: unscripted space. She's a manager now heard about what I
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: was doing and she was like, Hey, I've always wanted
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: to do that and had reached out to me and said,
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: is there any way we could team up and do
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: this together? And I was like, no, you don't understand.
• 6:16
  Speaker 6: This is just something I'm doing on the side. It's
• 6:18
  Speaker 6: not that big of a deal. And she was like,
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: I'm going to make it a big deal and literally
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: doubled my database overnight. She started referring all kinds of people.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: It went from I don't know one hundred people and
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: my database to two hundred and then just we started
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: working together and really helped build the company. Her name's
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: Lauren Rosenberg, to give credit where credit is due, and
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: it's been such a joy growing that business with her,
• 6:41
  Speaker 6: And then as the two of us have grown together
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: in our careers, it just became very clear that I
• 6:48
  Speaker 6: really had a passion for not only matchmaking, but for
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: date coaching men and women as well, and so I've
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: just put a lot of my focus and energy into
• 7:00
  Speaker 6: that part of my career and found a way to
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: marry my love of writing with my love of helping
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: people on their journeys to find love by now writing
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: a book about it. And so it's just been a
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: real blessing to be able to do that now that
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: I'm entering my forties, and hopefully we'll keep it going.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: In reading your book, there's so your your friend that
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: was doing this too, there's a lot there. I guess
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the matchmaker companies, you'll get together and you share. I mean,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: it's not just the people that you're working with. You
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: then go out and really expand and share with others,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: and how does that work? You're just like, I know
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: a great guy for Julie. Yeah, so do you know
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: a great guy for Julie. Well, we'll talk about it.
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: I need to know a lot more, yes, Okay, I
• 7:45
  Speaker 6: need to learn a lot more about Julie. But just
• 7:48
  Speaker 6: from the little I know about you, I feel like
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: we should absolutely have a conversation off camera and let's
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: let's try to make it happen. But yeah, well so
• 7:58
  Speaker 6: that you go Atchweking community is really small, not only
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: in Los Angeles but nationally and internationally. There's conferences, there's cruises.
• 8:07
  Speaker 6: So there's a couple great, great organizations where we all
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: through which we stay connected. We vent to each other
• 8:15
  Speaker 6: that you know I show in the book, We commiserate,
• 8:18
  Speaker 6: we make referrals for each other. So sometimes there might
• 8:23
  Speaker 6: be a challenging client, not necessarily because they themselves are challenging,
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: but maybe they're looking for something very particular or what
• 8:31
  Speaker 6: have you. So we'll get together and we'll typically try
• 8:35
  Speaker 6: to match from within our own internal databases, but once
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: in a while we will need to turn to a
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: colleague and say, hey, I've got this great woman named April.
• 8:44
  Speaker 6: We'll give some basic stats, maybe show some photos. Through
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: my company, we do blind matchmaking, so nobody sees.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: Each other ahead.
• 8:52
  Speaker 6: But that's not the way all match making companies operate,
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: and so at least internally, we keep everything confidential, and
• 9:00
  Speaker 6: we have permission from our clients to you know, share
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: some of their information and we'll.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: Make a mutual match.
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: Will collaborate between two companies sometimes if that is what's
• 9:09
  Speaker 6: in the best interest of a client.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: So do they go, do they get to decide how
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: they're going to actually meet each other, or do they
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: read about each other first, or how do you you
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: just talk about you know.
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it varies, truly is a great how do you
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: do that? It varies from company to company. So there's
• 9:25
  Speaker 6: a company that I consult for right now called Matchmakers
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: in the city based in Beverly Hills.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: They will say, I.
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: Don't want to, you know, reveal the secret sauce, but
• 9:34
  Speaker 6: I think this is widely known. They'll say, like meet
• 9:36
  Speaker 6: bachelorette Jay, and they'll they'll withhold basic stats like ages
• 9:42
  Speaker 6: and heights. They won't reveal that information. It's a bit
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: more broad and focused on commonalities. Commonalities two people might share.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Highlights about be a great couple or have a great date, or.
• 9:57
  Speaker 6: Right like just the attributes about you, what you to
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: the table that might be universally appealing as well. And
• 10:03
  Speaker 6: so it's not enough that you could find each other
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: online and have preconceived notions, but you'll have a bit
• 10:08
  Speaker 6: of a tease. And then at our company at LJ Matchmaking,
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: it's similar, although we will reveal a first name if
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: they're not easy to look up. We'll hide some other
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: basic information, but we do get a bit more into
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: the weeds. You know, someone's age ahead of time, their height,
• 10:27
  Speaker 6: if there's something that we think another might bump up against.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: We try to speak to that to get ahead of it.
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: So it's every company is a little bit different, and
• 10:38
  Speaker 6: you know, it's all a means to the same end.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: But some show photos, some do.
• 10:43
  Speaker 6: Not, and for us it's blind, but it's all a
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: really fun process and the clients seem to love it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't have to share any names, of.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Course, but what has been your most challenging Give us
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: an example of your most challenging client. I know you
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: had one client who you said on on five dates
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: and it didn't work out, so you married him. But
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: you can only do that once.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: I think that's the story. Is that right, you met
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: you married one of your clients?
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I got correct?
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: I did so to be fair, I because he jokes like,
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: oh I was sabotaging all his dates. I said, the
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: women I spent him up with were amazing. I like
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: to think of them as cooler versions of me. He
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: came to the introduction with the intake interview with Lauren
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: and I with a no. I don't want to say
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: a rigid list, but definitely he had a story he
• 11:32
  Speaker 6: told himself about the woman he was going to end
• 11:34
  Speaker 6: up with. That sounded nothing like me, and I in
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: my gut, I was like, he needs a little bit
• 11:41
  Speaker 6: of h I'll be specific. He said that he was
• 11:43
  Speaker 6: looking for a woman who he's Jewish. He did not
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: want to marry a Jewish woman. He said it reminded
• 11:49
  Speaker 6: him of his mom, his sister, and he didn't think
• 11:51
  Speaker 6: he'd have romantic chemistry. He had just come off of
• 11:54
  Speaker 6: a shoot in Mexico for I think it was I
• 11:56
  Speaker 6: Love Money, the show I freoent Network, the h One
• 11:59
  Speaker 6: or something like that, and he was like, Oh, I
• 12:02
  Speaker 6: think I'd love a Latino woman. He just had a
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: fling down there, so he was like, Latina, not Jewish,
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: described looks like a little bit personality a little bit,
• 12:12
  Speaker 6: but said he wants someone who could let loose, enjoy
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: a good cocktail or three. I'm not someone that really
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: drinks much, if at all. He wanted someone to go
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: to music festivals with. To this day, I've never attended
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: a music festival, not that that's some sort of trophy
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: or anything.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: I would probably enjoy it if I went.
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: But he was really looking for something kind of specific,
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: and every woman I set him up with was more
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: what I thought he needed. I don't always do that
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: with clients. A lot of times, I do try to
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: give them what they're asking for if I think it's
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: attainable and compatible with who they what they bring to
• 12:46
  Speaker 6: the table. In his case, I was like, I know
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: what he needs, and I set him up with five
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: different women that at the time, you know, looking back,
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: I'm like, oh, they're women I admire, and but yeah,
• 12:59
  Speaker 6: it took about a year and a half. He wasn't
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: responding to any of those dates. He got self conscious
• 13:04
  Speaker 6: about it, dropped me an email, tried to explain himself,
• 13:09
  Speaker 6: I don't ever need a client to do that, but
• 13:11
  Speaker 6: he was like, I'm so sorry, I'm not really feeling
• 13:13
  Speaker 6: it with anyone. I swear, I'm not that picky. I
• 13:16
  Speaker 6: just want someone, you know, cute and this and that
• 13:19
  Speaker 6: and kind of like you. For example, It's not the
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: only time that Lauren or I have been used as
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: a point of comparison, just because it sometimes makes it
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: easier for a client to articulate what they're looking for
• 13:32
  Speaker 6: in a clinical way, right, Like I prefer a brunette
• 13:35
  Speaker 6: or someone with curves or whatever. And so in this example,
• 13:39
  Speaker 6: he sent an email. It wasn't in person. He didn't
• 13:42
  Speaker 6: have to hit the send button, so he was very
• 13:44
  Speaker 6: clearly being a little bit cheeky. I was in a
• 13:48
  Speaker 6: relationship at the time, immediately passed him off to my
• 13:51
  Speaker 6: business partner to do his future matches, which he clocked
• 13:55
  Speaker 6: and was like, did you pass me on anyway? A
• 13:58
  Speaker 6: year this is a very life answer to your story.
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: But about a year and a half after all of
• 14:03
  Speaker 6: this had taken place, I became single. Couldn't get him
• 14:06
  Speaker 6: out of my head. Knew a client was never going
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: to ask out his matchmaker, let alone magically know that
• 14:12
  Speaker 6: I was no longer in a relationship, and I just
• 14:15
  Speaker 6: reached out and I said, how's it going, And for
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: the first time in my life asked a man out
• 14:19
  Speaker 6: on a date.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Well for you, and you are the second person I
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: know that this has happened to you. She worked at
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: a company. She also married her client and they had
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: three children, so I mean it does happen. And listen,
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: when you know a good thing, you know a good thing.
• 14:35
  Speaker 6: We also, how good is your database if you can't
• 14:38
  Speaker 6: pull from within.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: It for yourself, right, That's what I'm saying. True. Yeah,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: so I have a couple questions. Listen, I have a
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: million questions. I'm not going to lie to you, but
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I'm going to try to, you know, make them, you know,
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: doable in the time that we have. So you talk
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: a little bit about making someone a stronger dater, so
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: I think that maybe explain what that is as well.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: And then also, do people always come to you with
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: a list or do you have to like kind of
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: pull it out of them. I recently had someone ask
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: me what are you looking for? And I literally had
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: to pause and back up and be like, well, I
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: wasn't looking until, you know. And I think that was
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: an intro to ask me out, but that took another
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: had legs of its own. So do people come with
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: you with a very particular list? And how do you
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: help people pick stronger dates like not quantity or you
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, like stronger dating?
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: These are great questions.
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: First of all, we need to shift your mindset because
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: I do want to get you looking and I want
• 15:46
  Speaker 6: to get you buy that fireplace with that dream man.
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: So that's a whole other thing. But in terms of
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: when people come to me, how do I know what
• 15:55
  Speaker 6: they're looking for?
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: It is a tough question to answer.
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: It's like when you go to fill out an online
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: dating profile and it just says about me, and you're like, oh,
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: what do I say?
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: This is so broad.
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: We do have a really well crafted you know, we've
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: tweaked it over the last decade or so, a well
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: crafted form that's just an intake interview that we have
• 16:15
  Speaker 6: all clients fill out. Most companies they'll have you not
• 16:20
  Speaker 6: only fill out that, but what you're looking for in
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: a partner, and essentially, if you have the means, they'll
• 16:25
  Speaker 6: take you on and they'll recruit to find what you're
• 16:28
  Speaker 6: looking for. My service is a bit more word of
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: mouth at least our matchmaking arm date coaching. I'll help
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: anyone for matchmaking. We work exclusively in Los Angeles. I'll
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: take a look at your intake form. It is very
• 16:41
  Speaker 6: specific about you and what you're looking for, and just
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: based on those preliminary responses, if we think that we
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: can take someone on is a full blown member, we
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: will offer them a membership and if not, the last
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: thing I want is to waste anyone's time. And it
• 16:55
  Speaker 6: might not be anything wrong with them or what they're
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: looking for. It's just based on even though we have
• 17:01
  Speaker 6: a very extensive database, if I think you know I
• 17:04
  Speaker 6: only have two potential matches. If that well runs dry,
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: you're going to be disappointed in your membership. Let's pause
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: till I have a few more men in this age
• 17:13
  Speaker 6: range or whatever the category is that I think needs
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: beefing up. And so we do have a wait list.
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: We differ from other companies and that we don't guarantee
• 17:24
  Speaker 6: a minimum number of matches. So this is something that
• 17:27
  Speaker 6: I take issue with to some degree, and it's a
• 17:29
  Speaker 6: bit of a controversial opinion in our community in that
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: a lot of these companies charge very exorbitant rates for
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: this luxury service, and is a luxury service. It's very
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: hands on, We get very involved time wise, emotionally, So
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: that's I think everyone in this field deserves to be
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: well compensated for what they do. The problem is, you're
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: not selling a luxury car that you could drive off
• 17:53
  Speaker 6: the lot with. There's no guarantees that we could find
• 17:56
  Speaker 6: your husband or wife. So there's a bit of a
• 17:59
  Speaker 6: conflict of interest there to some degree, and so you
• 18:03
  Speaker 6: have to be able to guarantee something when you're charging
• 18:05
  Speaker 6: that much money, and a lot of companies will charge
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: a minimum number of dates among other perks. For us,
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: we have people invest in a window of time, so
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: we charge in the hundreds, not the thousands.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: For the matchmaking arm.
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: We say you sign up for six months to a year,
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: and we have no guarantees, and we're very fair about it.
• 18:26
  Speaker 6: If you know, we'll even go over a year. If
• 18:29
  Speaker 6: we would rather focus on quality than quantity, if we've
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: only set you up two or three times in six
• 18:33
  Speaker 6: months to a year, I'd rather extend your membership than
• 18:37
  Speaker 6: compromise on the integrity of an introduction. So that's how
• 18:41
  Speaker 6: we kind of mitigate that. But to answer your original
• 18:45
  Speaker 6: question about the intake interview and what is someone looking for.
• 18:50
  Speaker 6: Once we can activate someone's membership and we feel confident
• 18:53
  Speaker 6: enough to have an additional conversation, will hop on a
• 18:56
  Speaker 6: zoom or we'll meet in person and we'll figure out
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: more specifically what you're looking for and tailor the results accordingly.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: It's amazing because I have to tell this really quick
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: side story. Someone told me the other day. They called
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: me and they're like, that company wants forty thousand dollars
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: to say and I literally was like, I'm sorry, did
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: I hear you correctly? Because like the first argument or
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: fight or really got angry or whatever about something and
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, wait, I paid forty thousand dollars for
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: you for you yeah no, So I mean that was
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: the first thing that came to my mind. And I
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: love that about your company when I read that, So
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: thank you for mentioning that, because we really you want
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: to be a stronger dater and have quality dates and
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: also not feel like this is you know, a guarantee
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: for you know, and I like life.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I like the way you create the wait list too
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: and share with them that you don't feel like you
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: can give them enough quality people at this time, but
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: there'll be a time that that's because to imagine being
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: rejected by your matchmaking company, like no.
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's good that you're always open to having
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: having more matches and.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: You it's obviously working because you wrote a book which
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: is coming out January twenty seventh. Did I get it right? Yeah?
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: On this Tuesday.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Oh so it's it's so exciting. So in the book
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: you go on some client journeys. Is that correct? That's right?
• 20:23
  Speaker 6: So yeah, I just coming from a TV background and
• 20:27
  Speaker 6: as a storyteller. I don't know if you're familiar with
• 20:30
  Speaker 6: the book. He's just not that into you. And then
• 20:32
  Speaker 6: the movie adaptation. I felt like the movie resonated with
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: me more than the book, just because it was a
• 20:38
  Speaker 6: great book, but very prescriptive and to the point, and
• 20:42
  Speaker 6: you read a couple chapters and you're like, Okay, he
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: doesn't call in three days. I get it, he's just
• 20:45
  Speaker 6: not that into me. The movie, you get so sucked in.
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: You identify with a character's journey, and I think in
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: some ways the lesson sticks with you more just because
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: you've been able to sit with it over the course
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: of a period of time, and there's a clear beginning, beginning, middle,
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: and end to the journey. So I wanted to deliver
• 21:04
  Speaker 6: my tips and tricks through a similar mechanism, and so
• 21:07
  Speaker 6: I decided to tell stories and not just vignettes. I
• 21:11
  Speaker 6: wanted you to really get invested in three particular clients
• 21:14
  Speaker 6: of mine their composites, because I don't ever want to
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: betray someone's confidentiality and all of that. But I took
• 21:21
  Speaker 6: my experiences with three very different types of clients. Each
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: one that I portray in the book is based on
• 21:28
  Speaker 6: at least two to three people, but telling very real
• 21:31
  Speaker 6: stories about their journeys to find love, not only through
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: matchmaking together, but through our date coaching sessions, because with
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: clients that I work with in that capacity, I'm always
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: invested in all my clients. But it's like dating therapy, right.
• 21:46
  Speaker 6: I really get to know all of these people, their hopes,
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: their dreams, and you know, if they're on a date,
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: I'm so excited and you just it's all. I can't
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: wait to hear back from these clients. And so with
• 21:56
  Speaker 6: these three, I wanted to accomplish a couple things. I wanted,
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: at least with one character for when someone's reading, let's
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: say you're single. I wanted a single reader to strongly
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: identify with one of the three, or at least recognize
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: someone that they dated in one of those three characters
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: at bare minimum. And so their stories there's a universal
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: message in each, but also specific enough that they'll feel
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: like very real people because they are so. On one hand,
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: there's the client who she's entering the age where it's
• 22:32
  Speaker 6: now or never to have kids. She froze her eggs
• 22:34
  Speaker 6: when she was younger, a career focused and is extraordinarily
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: rigid in her parameters about what she's looking for, and
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: either wants to find that specific thing or is going
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: to be a single mom by choice, which is a
• 22:47
  Speaker 6: journey I've helped some clients navigate before, during, and after.
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: She issues me an ultimatum, which is what kicks off
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: the entire book, that if I don't find her someone
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: over a year of us working together, she's doing IVF
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: on her own simultaneously, unbeknownst to her, I just had
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: an embryo transfer for my own IVF journey, and so
• 23:10
  Speaker 6: I'm really feeling, you know, there's guilt. There's all kinds
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: of feelings associated with like can I actually accomplish this
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: for her? And what are the ramifications if I don't
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: waited very heavily on me. Then I have another character
• 23:24
  Speaker 6: who is what appears to be initially like the superficial,
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: superficial older gentleman who he's a film director. He is
• 23:34
  Speaker 6: looking for someone significantly younger. He is very callous in
• 23:40
  Speaker 6: his feedback sessions with me about the dates he's going on.
• 23:44
  Speaker 6: And as I start to get to know him better
• 23:47
  Speaker 6: and peel back the layers, you get to see, you know,
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: maybe these things are there's a reason for why he's
• 23:55
  Speaker 6: come to the conclusions he has, and there's more to
• 23:57
  Speaker 6: the story, and it was really important for me to
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: showcase someone like him because you know, as women, we
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: and when I was single, like we complain about the
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: love bombers and the ghosters and the people that do
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: what feels like very malicious acts while dating. But these
• 24:13
  Speaker 6: people oftentimes are well intentioned, or they're coming from a
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: place of hurt or in some cases or bigger, hopeless
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: romantics than we are. And I wanted to tell that
• 24:22
  Speaker 6: story too. And then lastly, my other character is on
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: the younger side. She is a film publicist coming up
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: in her career and is someone who just falls in
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: love with every man that shows her attention, who is
• 24:37
  Speaker 6: you know, relatively attractive, and so she's constantly getting into
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: a slew of toxic relationships that I'm trying to get
• 24:42
  Speaker 6: her to break the cycle from. So you get to
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: go on. You're seeing all this through my point of view,
• 24:49
  Speaker 6: giving you real life coaching sessions with these clients, and
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: you're getting to see how I get them from point
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: A to point B. I won't give spoilers, but I
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: think fun journey.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Do you ever in your own practice have to tell
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: a client or have you ever come to a place
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: where you tell a client? Have you thought about maybe
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: seeking a therapist. I mean, there's not an easy way
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: to say that, but some of the things you've described,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: it's like a girl someone who's constantly falling in love
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: with love and getting wrong with the wrong guy, and
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: there's got to be something deeper going on there, and
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: rather than keep going repeating the same mistake over and
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: over and over again, that could be helpful.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: But I don't know how you would say that in
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: a way that would.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Well, she's there, starting with a dating coach who is yeah, yeah,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: and then go from there.
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: I actually taught so that particular character. I talk about
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: her therapist in the book, So she's someone who already
• 25:45
  Speaker 6: is in therapy. But in terms of someone who comes
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: to me who might be in need and hasn't sought
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: it out, you know, there are limitations to what I offer.
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: My advice comes from, you know, working in the industry
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: for so long I resisted date coaching. I felt like,
• 26:00
  Speaker 6: who am I to tell people how to date differently?
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: But then as just a matchmaker hearing feedback from eventually
• 26:07
  Speaker 6: thousands of dates and you start to see recurring patterns,
• 26:10
  Speaker 6: and you know, Patty Stanger is actually the person that
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: was like, you know, you should consider date coaching. I
• 26:15
  Speaker 6: ended up getting certified, so I do like to stick to.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: The dating arena.
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: And really I'm well versed in enough that I can
• 26:25
  Speaker 6: help people with their struggles in that do I think
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: I can help someone who has generational trauma that's affecting
• 26:32
  Speaker 6: why they're attracted to toxic men and things like of
• 26:36
  Speaker 6: that nature. I think I'm equipped to do it, but
• 26:38
  Speaker 6: I'm ethical enough to refer out when boundary lines start
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: to get crossed.
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: That's what I was referring to.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't think you would be the one doing, but
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I thought, how if you could suggest to someone who
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: you're helping them but it doesn't seem to be helping,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: but you kind of feel like, I feel like there's
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: something that would this, but therapy might help this person.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Have you ever said, you know, hey, you never thought
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: about why this keeps having Okay, I was just curious. Yeah,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: that would be a more difficult conversation.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Is it normal for me to be terrified about what
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: you're saying?
• 27:13
  Speaker 6: I mean, listen, I'm someone who's a huge believer in therapy.
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: I equate it to brushing your teeth. No one thinks
• 27:19
  Speaker 6: it's weird that people brush their teeth daily and that
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: they go to the dentist for regular cleanings. I think
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: you should go get your mind clean regularly. I think
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: it's just a great habit, and.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: So everyone should have a therapist.
• 27:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so when I'm suggesting therapy to someone, it's not like, ooh,
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: there's something wrong with you and I think you need
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: to go. I explain it exactly that way, and I
• 27:41
  Speaker 6: take a very delicate approach, but I let them know
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: that I think it's something that they could really benefit from.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: I'm you know, I'm very open.
• 27:47
  Speaker 6: About the fact that I go because I just really
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: think everybody should. And it's not even if you have
• 27:53
  Speaker 6: a problem, it's to get ahead of them, right so
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: you can keep your mind clean. And so that's an
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: easy conversation. And when I I like to.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Have do you think do you think in general people
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: have real realistic or unrealistic expectations of what they're looking for,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: and that maybe they cut people off too soon that
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: you need to keep you can give more of a chance,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Like do you ever encourage your clients? So you know, yes,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: he's not a billionaire, but he's a millionaire.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: So you like you might make it.
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: I like, how do you do that all the time.
• 28:27
  Speaker 6: It's honestly, it's a huge part of why I don't
• 28:29
  Speaker 6: guarantee a minimum number of dates for my company. I
• 28:32
  Speaker 6: find that the ones that do, it's a lot easier
• 28:34
  Speaker 6: to write someone off because to your point, do I
• 28:37
  Speaker 6: think this person is worth forty thousand dollars or even
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: if you do a breakdown of you get ten dates
• 28:43
  Speaker 6: for ten thousand dollars, If you go on a first
• 28:46
  Speaker 6: date and you're unsure about someone, you're like, wow, I
• 28:48
  Speaker 6: feel like I just wasted a grand But with my service,
• 28:52
  Speaker 6: if you're not treating, you're not doing the financials right.
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: The financial breakdown of what each date is going to
• 28:58
  Speaker 6: cost you a lot easier for me to have that
• 29:01
  Speaker 6: conversation with a client of you know, I know they
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: showed up and they were a little bit chattier than
• 29:07
  Speaker 6: what you would prefer in a partner, but I think
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: that might have been nervous energy or you know what,
• 29:11
  Speaker 6: at first dates over dinners not always the most conducive
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: to getting to know someone romantically or getting them out
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: of their head. Why don't you go for a hike
• 29:20
  Speaker 6: And if you still feel the same way, you know,
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: so it's a lot easier to approach that topic with
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: my clients. But in general, do I find that people
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: have unrealistic expectations?
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: It varies.
• 29:33
  Speaker 6: I think that if someone's asking for something that they
• 29:37
  Speaker 6: themselves bring to the table, I'll always try to honor
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: that request. When it becomes unrealistic, is if someone is
• 29:44
  Speaker 6: asking for something that they can't offer themselves. They want
• 29:46
  Speaker 6: a billionaire, but they're not a billionaire. Well why should
• 29:49
  Speaker 6: you get a billionaire? There must be something really incredible
• 29:52
  Speaker 6: about you. Maybe you're the most beautiful woman in the world,
• 29:54
  Speaker 6: but whatever that is, you need to I treat it
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: like a scale, right, going to have to balance that
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: out in some way, And if you can't, I might
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: have to level with you and suggest the millionaire, right,
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: or someone who is making a good living or maybe
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: not even as much as you, but they offer something
• 30:13
  Speaker 6: else incredible.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: And is this something you learn when you become a
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: certified dating coach?
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: Like?
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: How you know what I mean? Like that sounds like
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: something how yeah, how you would be able to address that?
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: So I do want to give credit to the Global
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: of Love Institute that does the certifications, but truthfully, in
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: my case, no I mean, I think these are just
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: conclusions I've come to after making, you know, a billion
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: setups and just seeing what works and what doesn't, and
• 30:42
  Speaker 6: you do this enough and you just I think these.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Are it comes naturally.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, well, JD. We have We've had some
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: great questions.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: But we have some women who have some other questions
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: for you, and they are Zoomer moms. Welcome, Zoomer moms.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Mom's Club. I'm going to introduce each
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: one of you. Tell us little bit about yourself and
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: do you have a question for JD. D D Welcome
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: to the Mom's Club.
• 31:05
  Speaker 7: Hi, Hi Monica, Hi everyone, it's a pleasure to be here.
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: It's nice to speak with you all. My name is DEDE. Stafford.
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: I am a licensed realtor here in the DFW metro
• 31:15
  Speaker 7: Plex in Texas. My partner and I we own and
• 31:19
  Speaker 7: operate Keep On Real Estate Solutions where we turn today's
• 31:22
  Speaker 7: problems into tomorrow's solutions. We have a six year old
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: daughter who keeps asking me for a sibling, so we
• 31:29
  Speaker 7: bought a fluffy fringie. So technically I have two daughters
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: and that's that's it about me. So my question is,
• 31:40
  Speaker 7: what are three ingredients for the perfect match? What would
• 31:44
  Speaker 7: you say are the top three? Just to keep it short,
• 31:48
  Speaker 7: three ingredients for the perfect match. I have so many
• 31:50
  Speaker 7: friends that are single and they like hate the dating pool.
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: They're like, it sucks here, and so how would they
• 31:58
  Speaker 7: know if something came along and it's a green flag,
• 32:01
  Speaker 7: or if it's something that they should, you know, give
• 32:03
  Speaker 7: a little more time to see developed. So I would
• 32:07
  Speaker 7: like to know that three ingredients for them to watch
• 32:10
  Speaker 7: out for.
• 32:12
  Speaker 6: I think in terms of ingredients when it comes to dynamics,
• 32:16
  Speaker 6: you want physical compatibility. I know some people don't think
• 32:20
  Speaker 6: that that's relevant. I think you need to have the attraction,
• 32:22
  Speaker 6: physical compatibility, an emotional connection, and an intellectual connection. And
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: then if you want to treat that all as one right,
• 32:31
  Speaker 6: you want someone who's a good communicator. You want someone
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: who I'm a huge fan of easygoing. Rigidity is my
• 32:37
  Speaker 6: number one red flag. If if someone is just is
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: inflexible and consistency, someone who treats you well consistently.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, I like that answer.
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: That is good.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Makes me wonder about Beauty and the beast. Though she
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: wasn't really into him, was she.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Not aniti?
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: It turned out he grew on her.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: That is form came for. It was very insistent.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: That is true.
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: You're right, No, it's a good story. Arlene.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us a little bit
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: about yourself and do you have a question for JD.
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: Yes, Hi, ladies, thanks for having me. I'm Arlene Done
• 33:17
  Speaker 5: and I'm an entrepreneur and the and i own one
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: of the highest mailbox and shipping places in Sherman Oaks, California,
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: and mailboxes and more. My question for JD is this,
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: what is your typical coaching session like when you are
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: involved with when you take on a new client.
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: So a typical coaching session. The answer is there isn't
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: a typical coaching session. So there are some coaches that
• 33:43
  Speaker 6: have canned sessions and they're like, come to me for
• 33:45
  Speaker 6: flirting one oh one. Right for me, I really need
• 33:48
  Speaker 6: to get to know someone and figure out where they
• 33:50
  Speaker 6: are coming from so I can meet them where they're at.
• 33:54
  Speaker 6: Areas of specialty can completely range from you know, getting
• 33:59
  Speaker 6: someone to help break us cycle. It could be to
• 34:01
  Speaker 6: revamping your dating profile. It could be you know, fixing
• 34:05
  Speaker 6: your broken picker or upping your confidence or upping your
• 34:08
  Speaker 6: flirt games. So it just really depends. My clients range
• 34:13
  Speaker 6: in age from their twenties to their eighties, and there's
• 34:15
  Speaker 6: just such a range of issues. There's no typical coaching session.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Lauren, welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us a little
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: bit about yourself, and do you have a question I do.
• 34:24
  Speaker 8: I actually have a couple questions. If I could. HI,
• 34:29
  Speaker 8: nice to meet you. I wanted to say, goodness, gracious,
• 34:32
  Speaker 8: I wish I met you when I was in my
• 34:34
  Speaker 8: late twenties in la because I'm in the entertainment business
• 34:38
  Speaker 8: and you would have been one of my best friends
• 34:40
  Speaker 8: and I would have come to you for all of
• 34:41
  Speaker 8: the advice. So I'm glad to be here with you today.
• 34:44
  Speaker 8: So I wanted to ask you. I'm a new mom, and.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 34:52
  Speaker 8: I am also newly married, and I'm trying to navigate
• 35:00
  Speaker 8: how to get maybe the spark back with my husband
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: and my partner and treat him more like my partner
• 35:09
  Speaker 8: and my lover versus my other child for sure.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: How old is your baby?
• 35:16
  Speaker 8: Well, he's three years old, and I have a stepdaughter. Yeah, so,
• 35:21
  Speaker 8: but he's my first baby, you know, and he's my everything.
• 35:24
  Speaker 8: And I think that my husband kind of feels a
• 35:26
  Speaker 8: little left out sometimes. So I'm just trying to figure
• 35:30
  Speaker 8: out how to navigate this new space that I'm in
• 35:33
  Speaker 8: and I'd love to hear what you think.
• 35:35
  Speaker 6: That's a great question, and I do you know, I
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: do wish that you had met me when you were younger,
• 35:39
  Speaker 6: because it does seem like we would we'd have fun together.
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: But you ended up where you ended up, and it
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: sounds like the right place, and so maybe it's good
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: you did not meet me. But in terms of in
• 35:51
  Speaker 6: terms of finding that connection or re establishing that connection
• 35:54
  Speaker 6: with your husband, I can completely relate in the sense
• 35:57
  Speaker 6: that I have a three year old. It's so hard
• 35:59
  Speaker 6: to find the tie, you know, in terms of it
• 36:01
  Speaker 6: becomes very transactional, the windows that you get with just
• 36:04
  Speaker 6: the two of you. How can I ask how often
• 36:08
  Speaker 6: you go out on dates?
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: Do you go out on a date? Still?
• 36:14
  Speaker 8: We haven't in a while.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 36:16
  Speaker 8: It used to be like every day we were hanging
• 36:18
  Speaker 8: out and he's one of my best friends, and then
• 36:21
  Speaker 8: everything momhood just kind of took over and we haven't
• 36:25
  Speaker 8: been on a lot of dates recently. Maybe, like I'm
• 36:28
  Speaker 8: really sad to say this is a shame to say it.
• 36:30
  Speaker 8: Maybe like once a month once every two months.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: We might get that's okay, so once a month is great.
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: It sounds like you might need to increase that a
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: little bit, just at least temporarily, to reignite the passion.
• 36:43
  Speaker 6: I don't know how much going out on a date
• 36:45
  Speaker 6: but then coming home to kids is not necessarily the
• 36:48
  Speaker 6: same thing as going out and having that alone time after.
• 36:51
  Speaker 6: So I don't know what your support system is like,
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: if it's possible to have a best friend watch the kids,
• 36:57
  Speaker 6: or a parent or sibling, but I would really strongly
• 37:01
  Speaker 6: prioritize just increasing quality time for the two of you,
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: just in the short term to reconnect in that way.
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: It is so hard for me.
• 37:12
  Speaker 6: It's a constant balance of Look, we have self care
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: is its own category that we moms never have enough
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: time for. There's careers or if our careers is being
• 37:24
  Speaker 6: a mom right, it's a full time job, and so
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: it's just so hard to find that balance of our
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: jobs of connecting with our partner and then even finding
• 37:33
  Speaker 6: time to just like take a shower or go to
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: the saana. So I think you have to figure out.
• 37:38
  Speaker 6: It sounds like there's been a lot of eggs in
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: certain baskets that are not. You need to replenish that
• 37:44
  Speaker 6: well with him, right, and so whatever you need to
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: do to prioritize that time, I would just highly recommend doing.
• 37:51
  Speaker 8: Okay, beautiful, perfect Right?
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: Did you said you had another question?
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: Do you have a say?
• 37:56
  Speaker 8: I have one more question while I have the expert on.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: Your chance.
• 38:02
  Speaker 8: Okay, So I want to know what do you think
• 38:04
  Speaker 8: the biggest relationship lie that women have been sold? And
• 38:12
  Speaker 8: how is it currently and quietly making us unhappy?
• 38:18
  Speaker 6: Good question, That is a really good question. I'm trying
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: to think, like, what would you consider a lie? Just
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: to make sure we're on the same page.
• 38:29
  Speaker 8: Well, I would consider like a lie as you're never
• 38:34
  Speaker 8: going to find someone after a certain age.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, things like that, you know.
• 38:39
  Speaker 6: Okay, so not neversarily yeah, so not necessarily within the relationship,
• 38:45
  Speaker 6: just dating in general?
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: What is a lie?
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 38:49
  Speaker 6: I'm noticing growing up watching my daughter grow up now
• 38:53
  Speaker 6: the kinds of movies that I was raised on. Half
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: of them, I'm like, I will never I don't want
• 38:58
  Speaker 6: her to watch those, you know, I don't want her
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: leaving with that messaging. Let's take uh, I mean, Disney's
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: a great franchise, but she's so obsessed with princesses, and
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: I am so grateful that Disney has come out with,
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: you know, the recent ones where it's more about empowerment
• 39:15
  Speaker 6: and saving the day than it is finding the man.
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: It's a bonus sometimes if it happens, but it's not
• 39:21
  Speaker 6: the focal point of the film. And I think from
• 39:24
  Speaker 6: our generation, you know, we grew up where that was
• 39:27
  Speaker 6: the end all be all, at the expense of everything else.
• 39:30
  Speaker 6: And there are so many women that I coach, there's
• 39:32
  Speaker 6: so many that I'm friends with. There's one that I
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: feature as a character in my upcoming book where for
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: her it's just life is a grave disappointment until she
• 39:42
  Speaker 6: meets the one. And I think that we really need
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: to remind ourselves that we are enough and it's all.
• 39:48
  Speaker 6: It's icing on the cake, and it's great and it's
• 39:50
  Speaker 6: something we should all strive for. But until we can
• 39:52
  Speaker 6: find completeness in ourselves, we're not going to find that
• 39:55
  Speaker 6: in another person. And it's cliche to say, but I
• 39:58
  Speaker 6: do think that that lie is sold to us from
• 40:02
  Speaker 6: a very young age, and I think it's slowly changing,
• 40:05
  Speaker 6: and I think we're in charge to some degree of
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: the narratives we put in front of our kids and
• 40:10
  Speaker 6: how we shape their minds and so hopefully we can
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: continue making that change one day at a time.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Those are all great questions.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: That's been an amazing answer. Yeah, do you have a daughter,
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: do you think about giving her like when she gets older?
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Obviously she's very young, but like, do you ever think
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: about what dating advice you would give her? Are you
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: going to stay away from that because she's your daughter?
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, what dating advice would you give your own child?
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: So I'll just have to gauge.
• 40:41
  Speaker 6: I hope we have the type of relationship that I
• 40:43
  Speaker 6: have with my mom where she can come to me
• 40:45
  Speaker 6: with any type of question.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: And I can answer that for her.
• 40:50
  Speaker 6: My brothers do not let me talk to them about dating,
• 40:53
  Speaker 6: so you know, hopefully it's not that kind of relationship
• 40:56
  Speaker 6: because I'm.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: Certain I could help them. They don't really need that
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: much help.
• 41:02
  Speaker 6: But you know, I think that it's just really going
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: to depend on the nature of how comfortable she is.
• 41:09
  Speaker 6: But I will always be there for her, and I
• 41:10
  Speaker 6: hope that you know, she'll look at me as a resource,
• 41:14
  Speaker 6: not only as a mom.
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: But the expertise that I have to provide can only
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: help her.
• 41:18
  Speaker 6: And the type of guidance i'll give her is very
• 41:21
  Speaker 6: similar to what I just shared. I don't want the
• 41:23
  Speaker 6: focus of her life being on whoever she ends up with,
• 41:28
  Speaker 6: you know, I want her to focus on other aspirations
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: and the rest is sure to follow.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't take offense about your brothers. I have two sons,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: and it's a guy thing. They have to be wanting
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: that for sure, to ask you please?
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: We like guys.
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: You know, the men are paying me, so you get
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: me for free? Sure you don't want to know? Yeah? Yeah,
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: well that's their loss. You know.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: One final question that we couldn't leave without asking you
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: this as a matchmaker, what do you think of dating apps?
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: Where did they fall in line with all this? Because
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: they're kind of falling out a favor right now, it's
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: from what I understand. But now AI is being introduced,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: how did they enter the picture?
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: It's I think it's a shame they're falling out of favor.
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: I look at it as a great supplement. You know,
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: I write television. Sometimes I get my own work. Sometimes
• 42:13
  Speaker 6: my agents make an introduction and it's helpful. I look
• 42:17
  Speaker 6: at matchmaking and meeting in real life the same way
• 42:19
  Speaker 6: we should all be relying on our community to help
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: us find someone else, but we also need to rely
• 42:25
  Speaker 6: on ourselves, and there is still till this day, no
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: better tool to do that than a dating app. You're
• 42:31
  Speaker 6: not going to have that access walking into a bar
• 42:35
  Speaker 6: at a friend's birthday party. To the number of singles
• 42:37
  Speaker 6: that exist. I do completely understand the dating app burnout.
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: I experienced it myself when I was single. If you
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: hit a wall, I just like to remind clients have
• 42:48
  Speaker 6: a friend run run your profile for you for a
• 42:51
  Speaker 6: short time until you feel re energized, if that's what
• 42:54
  Speaker 6: it takes, or at the very least leave your profile up.
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: You don't need to look at it for a couple
• 43:01
  Speaker 6: of weeks. But let's say you're going to end up
• 43:03
  Speaker 6: with someone named Michael. Michael's probably feeling the dating app
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: burnout too. He's probably frustrated he hasn't met you yet,
• 43:10
  Speaker 6: and so be findable. Go out into the real world,
• 43:15
  Speaker 6: use AI, use your friends, you know, but show up
• 43:18
  Speaker 6: and that also means digitally. That's just the reality of
• 43:22
  Speaker 6: the world we live in, and I think use every
• 43:24
  Speaker 6: resource available to you.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: Great bos do you say that because dating apps, like
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: like you said, is a bonus, uh to keep up
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: or a supplement, as she said, But I also think
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: that your book is going to be an extra bonus.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: And how how are you going to release this? Are
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: you doing a book?
• 43:45
  Speaker 7: Well?
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Where can they Where can our audience find your book?
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: And I know you also have a podcast with your husband, correct,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: So where can they find you on social media and
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: find your book?
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: So the podcast is called match Made in Hollywood. We're
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: coming out with our second season. My book is called
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: Your Last First Date Secrets from a Hollywood Matchmaker.
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: If you look it up online anywhere you would typically
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: buy a book, hopefully he'll see it on that platform.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: You should see it on that platform.
• 44:12
  Speaker 6: My website for my business Ljmatchmaking for Lauren and JD
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: Ljmatchmaking dot Com, and then across social media handles. I'm
• 44:22
  Speaker 6: at Matchmade in Hollywood.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Great, Well, thank you so much for joining us. This
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: has been informative and fun, and I mean it's exciting
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: because I'm excited.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: I cannot wait to read the whole book. I have
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: read parts of it, but you know it, for me,
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: it's a as a single person, it's a little scary.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: So I take a little bit at a time take
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: your time.
• 44:45
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it should feel like ten to one on one
• 44:47
  Speaker 6: coaching sessions together. So those that are hitting me off
• 44:50
  Speaker 6: and I'm like, I don't have you know my schedule
• 44:52
  Speaker 6: at the moment, but pick up my book and you'll
• 44:54
  Speaker 6: at least you know by the time we meet, it'll
• 44:57
  Speaker 6: already feel like we met ten times.
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: So for the price of a hardcover.
• 45:01
  Speaker 6: In terms of those that you know aren't single, I
• 45:04
  Speaker 6: think there's also fun things.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: It's fun to read. Well, I'm very encouraged. Now I'm
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: gonna I can tear up my questionnaire because I'm not
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: needed any longer.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: I'm very happy.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: This is great.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, JAD and moms out there check
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: us out on social media. We're on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: We have a YouTube channel that's doing really well. In fact,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: go to our YouTube channel. If you're watching us right now,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: hit that subscribe button because we are growing every day.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: We will join the legion of fans that we have
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: for inside the Mom's Club.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: Well, remember our motto.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: Moms, as we leave you from this episode, what is
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: our motto, Juliet's If you don't laugh sometimes, what's gonna happen?
• 45:44
  Speaker 7: Julie?
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: You will cry, so keep laughing.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: You don't want to cry. Keep on laughing, and we'll
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: see you next time. Ladies inside the Mom's Club