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Cultivating Gratitude in a World That Screams "More" · Equipped for Impact

0:07
Nate: Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world.
0:19
Nate: For Christ, we're your hosts.
0:20
Nate: I'm Nate and I'm Lewis, so let's get started.
0:24
Nate: And welcome to episode two of our second season.
0:29
Nate: We launched last week Lewis the Back to School, and everybody, I think, is back to school now.
0:36
Nate: You think Should be right.
0:37
Nate: Yeah, I mean not while we're recording this.
0:38
Nate: That's the magic of podcast recording, right?
0:42
Nate: We're not even back in school yet.
0:43
Nate: We are not.
0:45
Nate: Not at this point, by the time you're listening, we are back to school.
0:50
Nate: So back to school, and today's topic actually strikes right at something that tends to be a common struggle with kids and parents, to be honest, this time of year, and that is the idea of envy and, you know, just creating a heart of gratitude in a materialistic world, because probably if you came, you know, first day of school, maybe you've got those back to school pictures Do y'all do back to school?
1:18
Luis: pictures, lewis, we don't do them as consistently as we used to, you know, because I guess, as our girls have gotten older, they're not as excited to do it.
1:25
Luis: Yeah, we've never done.
1:25
Luis: You know, because I guess, as our girls have gotten older, they're not as excited to do it.
1:27
Luis: Yeah, we've never done.
1:29
Luis: You know how some people do.
1:29
Luis: Like the chart, like you know.
1:31
Luis: Like this is my grade, this is my teacher.
1:33
Luis: First day of first grade, yeah, and we actually chose not to do that, because you give out too much information.
1:39
Luis: And so we're just kind of one of those people that.
1:40
Nate: Go back and listen to our episode on social media if you want more on that yep and so.
1:45
Luis: But we typically do like a picture like as we're walking into school or we stand like at the classroom door, and then you know, now that I've got a high schooler, she's probably like off without you, like, yeah, peace out see you later, yeah using using one of those gen z slang terms.
2:01
Nate: Yeah, that you don't know again call back to a previous episode on slang.
2:06
Nate: Yeah, my favorite are when parents post the before and after first day of school pictures.
2:11
Nate: It's like here's first day of school, little like kindergartner, first grader, all like done up, nice, new, fit, drippy, kicks, yes, and all of that.
2:20
Nate: And then they like come in at the end of the school day and like their hair's all a mess and their backpack is like falling off and it's like awesome first day, but they're totally destroyed what was that saying that we learned during that episode?
2:34
Luis: the slang like your fit is um fire fire I don't even know, remember it was we're gonna get emails yeah, yeah, we gotta go check that one out, so that we can like incorporate that there you go into the first day.
2:47
Nate: I know it's drippy.
2:48
Luis: Drippy has to do with clothing we greet students like at open house or like the first day of school.
2:53
Luis: We can, we can actually use some of that and be like what?
2:57
Luis: What's what's wrong with you?
2:58
Luis: What world are you from?
2:59
Nate: totally lame anyway, uh, but just think about it.
3:03
Nate: Okay, your first day of school, you maybe have seen, as a parent, pictures that people have posted.
3:09
Nate: Your kid goes to school and they see their friend with you.
3:13
Nate: Know that new fit, those new shoes, right, they got the Nike kicks that everybody wants and they don't.
3:20
Nate: Maybe they're just in you know some hand-me-downs.
3:23
Nate: Maybe they do have new clothes, but they're not name-brand.
3:26
Nate: And that's when our sinful hearts start to expose themselves a little bit to envy and that lack of contentment.
3:36
Nate: It's like I really wanted those fancy Mr Pen pens that I saw Mr Miranda's girls have and I didn't get them.
3:44
Nate: We just got the plain old Walmart big pens.
3:45
Nate: I'm sorry Miranda's girls have and I didn't get them.
3:46
Nate: We just got the plain old Walmart Bic pens, I'm sorry.
3:47
Nate: No, we do have Mr Pen pens, do you?
3:49
Nate: It's because you gave them to me.
3:50
Luis: I did give you some.
3:51
Luis: Do you know that sometimes Mr Pen pens are actually cheaper than pens you buy at Walmart?
3:57
Luis: So just keep that in mind.
4:00
Luis: Pro tips, but just so you know, okay.
4:03
Nate: So just thinking about this whole idea of envy and wanting what other people have, and just that idea.
4:10
Nate: Lewis, let's break that down.
4:13
Nate: Like you know, I have this idea that's being pushed on me.
4:17
Nate: You know, you don't have enough, you need more, you need more.
4:20
Nate: Like where can we look to kind of combat this whole idea of envy and wanting more?
4:28
Luis: Yeah, so really I think we just need to go back to the beginning, right?
4:32
Luis: Because envy and discontentment, it's not a new thing.
4:36
Luis: In fact, it's been part of the human story all the way back to the Garden of Eden, right?
4:42
Luis: That was what Adam and Eve faced.
4:45
Luis: They literally had everything they could have ever wanted, and then-.
4:51
Nate: Just for them.
4:52
Luis: Just for them.
4:52
Luis: Just for them to enjoy right and to have dominion over it.
4:56
Luis: And then the serpent convinced them that they were missing out on something.
5:00
Luis: And that's the same lie that our kids and even we, right we, continue to hear it.
5:06
Luis: I talk about a time that Satan's tricks aren't new.
5:10
Luis: I mean, he's just rehashing the same stuff over and over again and asking the same question.
5:17
Nate: If it works, why reinvent the wheel?
5:20
Luis: Did God really say?
5:21
Luis: And so we know from what the research shows the American Psychological Association.
5:28
Luis: It reports that about three-fourths of adults feel stressed about money.
5:33
Luis: They feel like they don't have enough money.
5:35
Luis: And Gen Z those kids that are probably middle school, high school, I guess probably high school kids now Gen Z half of them say that social media makes them feel worse about their possessions and finances and so they're comparing themselves to what other kids have.
5:51
Luis: And since we know that the biblical worldview in our country is really bad it's really low we know that most of what's shaping our perspective and our kids' perspective on money and possessions and stuff it's not grounded in God's truth.
6:08
Nate: Yeah, that's true.
6:10
Nate: I mean, when you look at the stats, right, gen Z is the one we've got the most research on, right, gen Alpha would be your middle school and below, and Gen Z is high school and up through college.
6:21
Nate: And really that social media marketing is just pushing so much and it's that it makes me think of, you know, james, chapter one, when it talks about temptation, and it's just that lure, right, and it's your desire, right?
6:36
Nate: We want more.
6:37
Nate: Our sinful desire is just taking the opportunity to just, you know, ravage our lives of constantly wanting more, which then, of course, you can add to that all the statistics of, you know, debt in the American household.
6:52
Nate: And you know we're not going to get into all of that, don't have them right in front of me right now, but it's just rampant.
6:57
Nate: Because we constantly want more, we think we need more, and our sinful heart is lying to us, telling us we deserve it, and so we'll do anything to get it.
7:06
Luis: And that's actually why Paul addresses that same issue way back in the first century of the Christian church, right In Philippians 4, 11, and 13,.
7:15
Luis: He says I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
7:20
Luis: And I'll get a little bit nerdy here, right, but the word there that he uses, it's the Greek word and it's been a couple years since I did Greek, so if you're a Greek scholar, please don't hold this against me.
7:32
Luis: But it would be pronounced probably somewhere like a Tarkis or a Tarkis.
7:38
Luis: But the idea there is meaning sufficient or independent of circumstances.
7:43
Luis: And so Paul here isn't boasting about self-reliance, like he's not saying I don't need anything or like I'm made, but what he's saying here is he's declaring his reliance on on Christ.
7:55
Luis: And so this wasn't natural for him.
7:58
Luis: It's not natural for any one of us, because he says that he learned it.
8:02
Luis: I have learned to be sufficient or independent of circumstances by relying on Christ.
8:10
Nate: Yeah, and what I love about that passage is just the fuller context.
8:15
Nate: Right, we'll go in and we'll quote right, I've learned, whatever situation you know, whatever the circumstances, to be content when you look at it.
8:22
Nate: Paul is talking about being content.
8:24
Nate: He says in there, whether going hungry or being full, whether having abundance or being in need, right, being clothed or being naked, like, I've got all of these situations that Paul literally like, experienced himself and he was okay with it and he said I have learned that contentment.
8:42
Nate: And then we come down to this passage of the verse that we normally rip out of context.
8:49
Luis: Everybody loves to quote it's everybody's favorite verse, right?
8:52
Nate: My favorite is when you put it on the back of sports teams like team t-shirts.
8:57
Nate: It's I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me, right?
9:01
Nate: Philippians 4, 13.
9:03
Nate: And that's not about hitting home runs, right.
9:05
Nate: It's not about scoring touchdowns or anything else you know doing this amazing feat.
9:09
Nate: It's actually talking about being content.
9:12
Nate: Right, I can do those things because Christ strengthens me to be content even when I'm hungry.
9:19
Luis: And that's great context, right, because it goes back to really what Paul said here, right Is, I've learned to do these things not by my own strength, but by.
9:26
Luis: Christ's strength and because I can do all things through Christ, and those things that it's talking about is being content right Like it's Christ who's allowing him to be able to do that, and I think when you really understand that full context like that's, that's really good stuff, yeah.
9:42
Nate: Which I think really fits.
9:44
Nate: If I were to, my high school baseball team would have put that verse on our t-shirts because we were not good, right, so we could do all things through Christ, even striking out and not making the playoffs.
9:56
Nate: Like you can do that, you learn how to be content and not making the playoffs.
9:59
Nate: Like you can do that, you learn how to be content.
10:01
Nate: That's right.
10:01
Nate: Christ gives you strength.
10:02
Nate: Yeah, yeah, oh, my goodness.
10:03
Luis: So what we just gave you there, like that's seminary level stuff.
10:06
Nate: Yeah, there you go.
10:07
Luis: So we just gave that to you for free, folks.
10:09
Nate: There you go.
10:11
Luis: But then there's another passage too, in Hebrews 13, where the writer of Hebrews warns us.
10:17
Luis: It says to keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.
10:25
Luis: And the phrase there, that love of money, is another Greek word, and again I'm going to butcher it here, but I like the way, like I think it sounds good because it fits.
10:33
Luis: So it's philarguria, which literally means the affection for silver.
10:40
Luis: Like you are in love with silver, you have a passion, a desire for silver.
10:46
Luis: And let's be clear here, it's not condemning wealth, right.
10:49
Luis: It's not about being wealthy, but it's about a heart that trusts wealth, right, the affection for silver over God.
11:00
Luis: And then notice what the writer says, right, that the reason that you can be content is because God has said never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.
11:09
Luis: So, really, pointing all the way back to even to what we just said about Philippians, right, like we can learn to be content in whatever situation we have because of what God has done.
11:21
Nate: Yep, yep, and that's right.
11:22
Nate: Like some people point out, the idea of oh, money is the root of all evil.
11:27
Nate: No, the love of money, right, it goes right in with this.
11:31
Nate: Keep yourselves free from the love of money.
11:34
Nate: Be content Hashtag only Jesus, right.
11:37
Nate: Only Jesus.
11:37
Nate: There you go.
11:38
Luis: And, speaking of Jesus, he has something to say about this too, right, yeah.
11:41
Luis: So in Luke 12, he tells us to be on your, or.
11:44
Luis: He tells his disciples those who are listening, but us when we read it be on your guard against all kinds of greed, because life does not consist in the abundance of possessions.
11:56
Luis: And notice that phrase there.
11:57
Luis: Right, be on your guard.
11:59
Luis: We got to watch out.
12:00
Luis: Yep, it's a past tense, I'm sorry, it's a present tense verb there, and so it's a continual command.
12:06
Luis: Like we always need to be on guard because the temptation to compare and to covet it's ongoing, and so we have to have our defenses up constantly to be on guard against all kinds of greed.
12:21
Nate: Yeah, as soon as we let that guard down right, it's going to come in Kind of again.
12:26
Nate: Going back to the Sermon on the Mount, what Jesus said right when your treasure is there your heart will be also.
12:31
Nate: So if I love this stuff, if I love money, if I love, you know, flaunting my status, whether it's real or fake, because of my possessions, that's where my heart's going to be.
12:44
Nate: But if I've got treasures in heaven, that's where my heart will be.
12:47
Nate: It's not about having the best stuff, it's about what is this doing for eternity?
12:56
Luis: There's a Puritan writer named Jeremiah Burroughs.
12:58
Luis: He wrote a book called the Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment and in that book he says this he says the rare jewel of the Christian life.
13:08
Luis: And it's rare because it's not natural right.
13:12
Luis: And so we must intentionally cultivate it in our lives.
13:16
Luis: And so contentment, it's a rare jewel, because it's not our natural response.
13:22
Nate: Yeah, yeah.
13:22
Nate: And before we go on and talk about maybe some practical ideas of how we can cultivate the contentment and kind of combat that, let's just take a second and, like, we've obviously laid out why we should be content, but let's think about the dangers, or what can come from envy, right?
13:41
Nate: James 3.16 says, you know, for where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder.
13:48
Nate: And every vile practice I love that translation there right, every vile practice.
13:54
Nate: It's like a virus, right, it infects relationships, it poisons gratitude and all of that.
14:19
Nate: And go back, relationship with God.
14:20
Nate: And we're not going to get down into the details of that whole dynamic there.
14:24
Nate: But what it came down to is he was envious because his brother's sacrifice was accepted and that envy literally brought forth death, it motivated the first murder in human history.
14:38
Nate: And so envy can kill, sometimes literally, but sometimes that, you know, just ruining relationships because I'm mad at this person, because they've got something that I want, you know, and modern psychology backs that up.
14:52
Nate: You know there's different studies that have gone out, whether there's a University of Pennsylvania study about limiting social media, reducing envy, right, as you decrease your intake of the constant, you know, drip of envy, because that's really all social media is.
15:08
Nate: You know it would decrease envy in people's lives, and you know it's a quote that you and I were just talking about.
15:18
Nate: You know we couldn't quite exactly find where it came from.
15:22
Nate: It's been attributed to Craig Groeschel, but it's this quote that envy is resenting God's goodness to others while ignoring his goodness to you.
15:32
Nate: And think about that with Cain and Abel right.
15:34
Nate: Cain was envious of God's goodness to his brother.
15:37
Nate: Cain was envious of God's goodness to his brother, and so he ignored all the blessings that he had, and it just poisoned his relationship both with God and with his own brother.
15:46
Luis: I was just talking to somebody about this idea of envy right, because we're all guilty of it and social media and the study that you mentioned from the University of Pennsylvania right?
15:56
Luis: Is this idea of when we use social media whether it's Facebook, instagram, snapchat, whatever it is that you use, and you see somebody else that's like on vacation or you?
16:05
Luis: see them take a picture of their new vehicle or whatever it is.
16:09
Luis: And you're like man, I wish I had that.
16:11
Luis: And you know, you've heard the saying haters are going to hate, right, and so naturally You're shaking off.
16:18
Luis: That's right.
16:19
Luis: Naturally, our intention is going to be to hate on people that we see that are being successful because we are envious.
16:28
Nate: Yeah, and that I mean it really does shift your perspective.
16:33
Nate: You are constantly filling your mind and your heart with other people displaying their materialistic things or really, at the end of the day, their blessings from God.
16:51
Nate: It's going to bend our heart In that direction.
16:55
Nate: It's naturally inclined to bend because it's sinful, and so let's kind of get practical here, like, if we understand right, envy is bad.
17:04
Nate: It's going to poison relationships.
17:06
Nate: It just makes us unhappy.
17:07
Nate: It's going to ruin our lives, not because we did anything, but because we're just keeping our focus in the wrong place.
17:14
Nate: Like, how can we shift our perspective, and specifically with our kids?
17:19
Nate: Right, it's going to start with us.
17:21
Nate: But as we shift that perspective for our family and our children away from envying other people to having gratitude for what God gave us, what are some things we could do?
17:33
Nate: Lewis?
17:33
Luis: I think it starts again with our role as parents.
17:36
Luis: Right and this is the key part of what we've been doing with this podcast is it starts with us.
17:41
Luis: We need to model gratitude daily, because kids are going to learn from the way that we live, and so they need to hear you giving God thanks for ordinary blessings.
17:53
Luis: Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians, 5.18,.
17:55
Luis: Give thanks in all circumstances right.
17:59
Luis: And so make that a visible part of what your children see every day you being thankful for the little blessings in life and this may sound cliche, but just if your family doesn't do a blessing when you have a meal, make it a part of what you do just to give God thanks for the food that you're getting ready to eat.
18:21
Nate: The food is not getting any more nutritious.
18:23
Nate: It's not Right, it's not.
18:24
Nate: You're not like, it's always the you know.
18:26
Nate: Bless this food to our bodies, Like I say that when I pray.
18:29
Luis: To the nourishment of our bodies.
18:30
Luis: To the nourishment of our bodies.
18:31
Nate: That's exactly right.
18:31
Nate: When else do we use the I?
18:33
Nate: Can't think of one, yeah, nutritional value, like I'll use that, but not nourishment.
18:42
Nate: But we do that right, and that's not the point of those prayers.
18:45
Nate: Right, the prayers is it's a practice.
18:47
Nate: We've talked about this before.
18:48
Nate: It's the practices that direct our heart and remind us.
18:50
Nate: You know, why do we have food on the table?
18:52
Nate: We have food on the table because God has blessed us.
18:55
Luis: And to me it's as simple as blessing the food that you can eat, not for the nutritional value, but for your kids to see that you're thankful for the food that they're getting ready to eat, yep, yep, even if it's breakfast for dinner.
19:08
Luis: Well, you know, I don't think I could say the blessing.
19:12
Nate: If you need breakfast for dinner to be blessed in your house, just give me a call.
19:15
Nate: I will pray over your breakfast for dinner for you, your house.
19:20
Luis: Just give me a call.
19:21
Luis: I will pray over your breakfast for dinner for you.
19:22
Luis: Our podcast has hit over a thousand downloads.
19:24
Luis: Yeah that's awesome.
19:25
Luis: And so I ran into a parent over the summer who shared with me and we're having a conversation and a comment was made about breakfast and they said but not after 1030.
19:37
Luis: And so people are figuring out that eating breakfast after 1030 is not a normal human practice.
19:43
Luis: Bring it my way, bring it my way, people.
19:45
Nate: But with that like, as you're modeling that gratitude, you can also, like, just at dinner, have that conversation.
19:51
Nate: We've talked about it before One.
19:53
Nate: You've got to actually sit around the dinner table, right.
19:56
Nate: So if your schedule is so crazy that you never sit around the dinner table together, so if your you know schedule is so crazy that you never sit around the dinner table together, like that, that should be changed, number one.
20:04
Nate: But then, just around the dinner table, just ask you know what's one thing you're thankful for today?
20:08
Nate: You know what's something that happened to you that was good.
20:11
Nate: You know.
20:12
Nate: I know families, my family does the highs, lows.
20:14
Nate: Yeah, well, it's okay, understand there's going to be a low in the day, right, but there's also a high in the day.
20:18
Nate: What was the best part of your day?
20:20
Nate: And sometimes it was that you had breakfast for dinner, and sometimes it was something even better.
20:25
Nate: You know we got to go school supply shopping and I got to pick out something special that you know was more than just the standard Walmart brand.
20:33
Nate: You know, hey, you got one thing.
20:34
Nate: Be thankful for that.
20:35
Nate: And you're just building that muscle in those conversations.
20:41
Luis: Has one of your daughters actually used that as one of her lows before?
20:44
Nate: What Breakfast for dinner?
20:46
Luis: No, that was the high, that was oh, okay, I just assumed that was the low for the high.
20:50
Luis: Okay, I'm sorry.
20:51
Luis: You're projecting your ideas on me, but really it's just about that creating gratitude conversation right.
20:57
Luis: Find ways to show gratitude.
20:59
Luis: Here's another way is find ways to serve together as a family, because serving it shifts your heart from this idea of what do I get to what can I give, and it reminds us really of what the Bible says, that it's more blessed to give than to receive.
21:22
Luis: And so sometimes a way to cultivate this idea of gratitude in your children is to help them serve in an environment where they see things.
21:27
Luis: This past summer, my family and I, we took a group of kids to summer camp and as we were coming back we stopped and ate at Texas Roadhouse.
21:36
Luis: Well, our family typically to Texas Roadhouse, usually on Tuesdays, because kids eat 199 is the kids meal.
21:43
Luis: So if you didn't know that, Texas Roadhouse 199 kids meals on Tuesday nights.
21:47
Nate: There you go.
21:48
Luis: Texas Roadhouse.
21:49
Luis: If you're listening, I would love some free food, or at least some free rolls.
21:52
Nate: That's exactly right.
21:53
Nate: I was going to say, like we could.
21:54
Nate: This is not a sponsored podcast, but we would be open to receiving some Texas Roadhouse rolls and the honey butter stuff or cinnamon butter, cinnamon butter, cinnamon butter, that's what it is.
22:06
Nate: You can see, we don't go there often.
22:08
Luis: We actually had it last night.
22:09
Luis: Okay, I need to teach you a hack so that you can go regularly and eat for less than $20.
22:14
Luis: Okay, I'll share that with you offline Okay.
22:19
Luis: But so my family, we eat there all the time, like that's just a common thing, so, but as we were coming back from that trip, we had some family with us that had never eaten at Texas Roadhouse, never eaten at it, and so that's all my daughters talked about Like.
22:34
Luis: When we got home they were like, how did like?
22:35
Luis: Like they've been, and we had to explain to them that not every family has the opportunity to do the same things that our family does, and so it goes back to this idea of serving together.
22:44
Luis: Right, like, you expose your children to things that they may not experience on a regular basis, but then they get to see somebody else who's less fortunate, and then it allows them to have this attitude of gratitude.
22:58
Nate: Which is one of the reasons I always push you know, as a youth pastor, even now as a principal, like I push teenagers to go on a missions trip.
23:08
Nate: You know, at some point in your time in high school.
23:12
Nate: Middle school is a little young, but at some point in your high school years every teenager needs to go on a foreign mission trip.
23:18
Nate: I mean, there's lots of places around the United States that you can get the same experience but just a different culture.
23:24
Nate: There's so many learning opportunities from that but then also being exposed to Christians and other cultures.
23:30
Nate: You know, not every church is just like your church and there are still Bible-believing churches and the poverty in other countries and the opportunities there, like it's one thing to pack a shoebox at Christmastime for the Samaritan's Purse shoebox campaign.
23:48
Nate: It's another thing to go to one of those villages and see them Like this was in Ecuador, up in the mountains of Ecuador, with with my youth group when I was a youth pastor and they had taken, like Samaritan's Purse takes the shoeboxes you pack, pack them in bigger cardboard boxes for shipping.
24:04
Nate: Well, they had in this village received, you know, the shoeboxes and then they kept the big cardboard boxes like because that was, they were really good cardboard and they're like man, this, I could use this for so many things.
24:16
Nate: So they were all over the village of like that was a commodity that they wanted, wow, and so they like the.
24:21
Nate: The kids got the shoe boxes and the parents are like man, look at this big cardboard box that I can use for things in my house and it's like, oh man, like that's the type of thing that, and so it just opens your eyes.
24:32
Nate: You don't see that in America.
24:33
Nate: That's incredible, certain places.
24:35
Nate: So yeah, serve together, even stateside, but anywhere you know will open your eyes to the blessings we have here in this country.
24:43
Luis: Which really goes to the next one right is find ways to limit marketing and comparison exposure right.
24:48
Luis: So talk openly about how marketing works and why social media is often a state's performance.
24:55
Luis: Right, Because here in our world, like we, we always see the best.
24:59
Luis: Right.
25:00
Luis: Social media, like you, always see the best.
25:02
Luis: Nobody posts the picture of what went wrong on vacation on social media.
25:08
Nate: Except we did post a video of our very first podcast recording, where we like messed up the intro and like that's the one that got posted on social media because haters are gonna hate, right, and so we just have to shake it off.
25:22
Luis: Uh, now, now my wife she does love to post pictures or videos of me, especially if it's in an embarrassing situation.
25:28
Luis: A few years ago, there was a video of me like hitting a tree when we were like jumping off of uh rope into a river.
25:34
Luis: I'm going to have to go find that.
25:36
Luis: Yeah, yeah, but most of the time people aren't posting the bad stuff, right?
25:40
Luis: And so for younger kids, this is going to mean that they may see fewer ads or filtered media, and then for older kids, it's about discernment, right?
25:51
Luis: So if you're helping them, begin to understand that marketing is staged, and that when people post pictures on Instagram, on Snapchat, most of the time it's some sort of filter.
26:03
Luis: I mean even like on magazines or like professional ads, like they've changed it to make it look a certain way, and so limit marketing and comparison exposures would be the next one.
26:16
Nate: And another one that's good is just memorize verses together that have to do with this topic.
26:25
Nate: Right, that goes back to yourself, your kids, like developing the spiritual disciplines.
26:30
Nate: We've talked about family devotions.
26:32
Nate: We haven't talked as much about Bible memory, right, but memorizing these verses and it could be any of these that we talked about in the first segment of this episode, whether it's from Philippians 4, james 1, another good one, we mentioned James 1, 17,.
26:49
Nate: Right, every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.
26:54
Nate: Right, that's a really good one.
26:55
Nate: It's that one where, in the midst of that temptation, I'm thinking, well, god's not good to me because I don't have what somebody else has, and James says, no, no, you know, god is good, he is the giver of good gifts.
27:06
Nate: Right, and what I love is in that passage earlier in James 1, it actually calls God the giving God.
27:13
Nate: Right, whoever asks for wisdom, ask from God who gives generously.
27:19
Nate: It's literally the giving God who just simply gives generously, and that's the kind of God we serve.
27:23
Nate: So every good gift comes from God.
27:26
Nate: That's a great one to memorize.
27:27
Luis: And then the last one that I'll mention is just teach value through delayed gratification, like we are guilty of it, of living in this instant gratification society, but help kids work and save for something that they want.
27:41
Luis: Dave Ramsey, he calls this building money muscles, and it builds this attitude of gratitude and stewardship.
27:49
Luis: My oldest daughter has started working this summer, so she's making a little bit of money.
27:53
Luis: And so, as we're helping her budget, we're using kind of like a modified budget and so her budget is 60-30-10.
28:02
Luis: So 10% of it it goes to giving to our church, 30% of it goes to saving and then, because she's not making a ton of money, 60% of the money she gets to keep and she gets to spend with what she wants.
28:14
Luis: But we've talked about like hey, like if you stack some of your paychecks, you'll have more money and then you can get other things that you may want, that you may not be able to afford right now.
28:24
Nate: Right, yeah, and there's different ways to do this.
28:27
Nate: I know Dave Ramsey talks about at a certain age you can even start like taking the money you as a parent would spend on your child.
28:36
Nate: You know you've got your budget, hopefully, if not, check out Dave Ramsey's stuff but you've got your budget and it's like, okay, well, I know that back to school season I'm going to spend you know however much money, x number of dollars on clothes for this child.
28:50
Nate: They're old enough, you know they're probably need need to be at least tween, middle school age, something like that to have the maturity to make these decisions.
28:59
Nate: But then he even talks about just give that money to the child and be like, okay, here's what you need, let's make a list.
29:04
Nate: Here's the money I would spend on you.
29:07
Nate: I'm giving it to you.
29:08
Nate: Now you go get, and either you can get, you know, five shirts for school, or you can get, you know, that are Walmart brand, or you can go get three really nice shirts and then you just rotate through those three you know.
29:21
Nate: But but you've got to make that decision and understand that there's trade-offs, because it's not like like the, the, if I buy more expensive things, then I get fewer of them.
29:29
Nate: Uh, and sometimes that's a good trade-off, right?
29:32
Nate: What is it?
29:33
Nate: Buy once, cry once.
29:35
Nate: Have you heard that one?
29:36
Nate: I don't think I've heard that one.
29:37
Nate: Buy once, cry once.
29:38
Nate: Right, you buy something that's good, that'll last, and you're not buying so cheap, but then, at the same time, if you need a certain number of underwear to get you through the week, you need to have that number.
29:48
Nate: Probably enough, right?
29:50
Nate: Yeah, you don't want to just have one or two pairs, you don't want to recycle those every week, right?
29:54
Nate: Or you're doing lots of laundry, that's right.
29:56
Nate: But those are thoughts that you know.
29:58
Nate: Once they start getting you know, in the tween age, they will, you know, be at the point where they can start making those decisions and living with the consequences of them.
30:08
Nate: I love it.
30:08
Nate: So let's kind of wrap this up just thinking about those discipleship moments.
30:16
Nate: So I think one of the most powerful things we can do as parents is just use envy as a teachable moment to disciple our child's heart, direct their heart back to the giver of good gifts, like we've talked about.
30:39
Nate: Right, when a child says I wish I had what they had or I wish I have, you know X, Y, Z, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is, it's going to change by the time we release this right.
30:45
Nate: You can just kind of shut it down and be gruff and be like, well, just be thankful for what you got.
30:47
Nate: You know, when I was your age, I've been guilty of that.
30:49
Nate: Me too, Absolutely me too.
30:51
Nate: But we can also just shepherd their heart and direct it towards.
30:54
Nate: Well, let's have a different perspective.
30:57
Nate: You know, what has God given you?
30:58
Nate: And then maybe we can save for whatever they, the thing that they want.
31:04
Nate: But it's a good opportunity to remind them that every good gift comes from above, comes from God, and envy just kind of takes that good thing and, you know, has us worship the thing right, Worshiping the gift instead of the giver.
31:20
Nate: So, as we kind of close this episode out, Lewis, like what challenge or encouragement would you give to parents as they're navigating this idea in their own heart and in their child's heart?
31:30
Nate: To parents as they're navigating this idea in their own heart and in their child's?
31:33
Luis: heart.
31:33
Luis: Before you begin to complain about what you don't have, find ways to replace it with a word of gratitude, especially in front of your kids.
31:41
Luis: Like, just start there, let them see that gratitude isn't just something that you tell them to have, but it's something that you live right.
31:50
Luis: And then start with one simple gratitude habit in your home today, and you'll probably this is going to become a theme.
31:58
Luis: For me.
31:58
Luis: Is this idea of even if you can just do one thing right?
32:03
Luis: Even if you can just do one thing?
32:04
Luis: Just do that one thing, like you know.
32:07
Luis: Please don't listen to this podcast and think like man, like they've got so many great ideas.
32:22
Luis: Nate and Lewis are super spiritual no, we're not.
32:24
Luis: But just like a gratitude jar, a family text thread, maybe just a daily thankful for moment at dinner.
32:27
Luis: Over time, it's going to shape not just the culture or atmosphere of your home, but it's going to shape your family's heart and their posture towards God.
32:38
Luis: And remember that gratitude doesn't grow by accident, it's not just going to happen, right?
32:43
Luis: I mean, paul said earlier that he learned to be content, and so it's something that you learn, it's something that you cultivate, and you know that Nate and I love books, and so I want to recommend two books on this topic.
32:57
Luis: The first is really for you as a parent, about Joan Hart.
33:01
Luis: I quoted her earlier, but it's called the Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment and it's by Jeremiah Burroughs and it's going to help build the theological foundation that you need around this attitude of contentment and gratitude.
33:13
Luis: And then, if you're looking for some practical application of what you're learning, and what we've talked about here is, I would recommend a book called Parenting 14 Gospel Principles that Can Really Change your Family, and that's by Paul Tripp.
33:28
Nate: Yep, that's a great one.
33:29
Luis: And so just something.
33:31
Luis: If you're a reader, you can probably find them on Audible.
33:34
Luis: Listen to them, but just something that will be good for your heart, because you're going to need it as a parent in order to help shape your child.
33:43
Nate: Yeah, that's great stuff.
33:44
Nate: So thank you all for joining us today.
33:47
Nate: This is a milestone episode, number 20.
33:49
Nate: Wow, number 20.
33:50
Nate: We made it 20 episodes in our second episode of season two.
33:54
Nate: Make sure you hit subscribe because next week we're going to be releasing an episode, an interview we had with Dr Larry Taylor from ACSI talking about building a family discipleship plan.
34:07
Nate: It was great stuff.
34:08
Nate: We really enjoyed that conversation.
34:09
Nate: So make sure you subscribe so you don't miss that one next week.
34:13
Nate: And if you enjoyed this episode or any of these, share it with another parent who might find it helpful.
34:19
Nate: And you know, together we're shepherding our children to have that attitude of gratitude in their hearts.
34:25
Nate: So don't forget.
34:26
Nate: If you've got questions, comments, you want to give us ideas of episodes, please send them to podcast at waynechristianorg.
34:33
Nate: And until next time, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence their world for Christ.