Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / EP 38 - Raising Emotionally Secure Children Before Life Hits Hard
Transcript
- 0:00Today's episode is going to be just a little bit different.
- 0:03We're not talking about addiction, trauma, or battles
- 0:07that many of us face later in life.
- 0:09Instead, we're taking a look at something that could prevent
- 0:12some of those battles from potentially even happening in
- 0:15the 1st place. And that's raising children who
- 0:17are emotionally secure, grounded in faith, and aware that God
- 0:22watches over them even when life feels uncertain.
- 0:26And today's story behind that message is just as meaningful.
- 0:34Welcome to Unmasked, where we take off the filters and get
- 0:37real about faith, failure, and finding freedom.
- 0:40I'm your host, Wesley Farnsworth, a dad, veteran,
- 0:44author, and a man who's learned that God does his best work in
- 0:47the middle of our mess. Each episode we have honest
- 0:50conversations with people who've walked through addiction, pain,
- 0:53or doubt, and with pastors, leaders, and everyday believers
- 0:57who are learning to live and lead authentically.
- 1:00So take a breath, pull up a chair, and let's get real.
- 1:04This is unmasked. Today on Unmasked, I'm joined by
- 1:12somebody whose story offers refreshing shift from our
- 1:17unusual conversation. Scratch that.
- 1:19Starting again today on Unmasked, I'm joined by somebody
- 1:22who's off tongue tied. All good.
- 1:25Today on Unmasked, I'm joined by somebody who offers a refreshing
- 1:28shift from our usual conversations.
- 1:31Tessa is a writer, mother and grandmother whose passion is
- 1:35helping children develop emotional security and a deep
- 1:38sense of God's presence in their life.
- 1:41Her inspiration comes from a unique encounter in her youth
- 1:44with meeting Mother Alexandra, formerly Princess Ileana of
- 1:49Romania, a woman whose humility and faith left a lot lifelong
- 1:53impression. Here, after reading about the
- 1:56princess's childhood angelic encounter, Tessa felt compelled
- 2:00to share the a message that today's kids desperately need.
- 2:04And that is that God sends his angels to watch over us.
- 2:07And faith in the unseen can give children confidence, courage,
- 2:11and peace long before life storms calm their way.
- 2:16Today, we're diving into how to raise spiritually anchored,
- 2:19emotionally resilient kids and why these foundations matter not
- 2:23more now than ever. And why these foundations matter
- 2:26more now than ever. Tessa, welcome to the show.
- 2:29Thank you so much for being with us today on Unmasked.
- 2:32Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to
- 2:34be here. Glad to have you.
- 2:37Glad to have you. Well, let's just jump right into
- 2:39it and give us some of your story and and how this chance
- 2:45encounter I'm going to assume happened and I can't wait to
- 2:48hear it. Well, it started a long, long
- 2:51time ago. I was probably 12 at the time
- 2:55that I met Mother Alexandra. My family was on their way from
- 2:59visiting family in Michigan back to Maryland, where we lived, and
- 3:03just South of Pittsburgh we stopped at the Monastery of Holy
- 3:09Transfiguration, which had just been founded by Mother
- 3:12Alexandra. This particular monastery was
- 3:16the first women's Eastern Orthodox convent in North
- 3:20America. When my dad introduced me to
- 3:25Mother Alexandra, he said to me, Tessa, Mother Alexandra is a
- 3:29real Princess, which being about a 12 year old girl growing up
- 3:33with Disney princesses and Barbie dolls, that kind of took
- 3:38me. And at the time she was an older
- 3:40woman all dressed in black, full habit.
- 3:45And I really did not know at that point who she really was or
- 3:49what her story was. But as I grew older, I came to
- 3:54read her books, and I was very taken by her courage, her faith
- 3:59and her entire story. So her mother and father were
- 4:02the last reigning king and queen of Romania before the Bolsheviks
- 4:08came in after the Nazis were thrown out at the end of World
- 4:12War 2. When the Nazis were there, her
- 4:15family was basically neutered. They had no power, but when the
- 4:19Bolsheviks came in, they were much more harsh, much more
- 4:22cruel, and they exiled her entire family.
- 4:25She was then exiled and she went to South America and then
- 4:30through Congress was able to get to this country, which is how
- 4:34she ended up being here in this country.
- 4:37Just a little bit of background on her.
- 4:40She was a cousin of Queen Elizabeth.
- 4:44She was a cousin of Tsar Nicholas of Russia and she
- 4:48married Habsburg. So for anybody that knows
- 4:51anything about European royalty and history, those names matter.
- 4:55She has a very impressive family trait.
- 4:58When she was a child, she had four older brothers and one
- 5:03younger brother. Actually, I think she had She
- 5:06had four older siblings and one younger brother.
- 5:09She and her younger brother were asleep in the nursery in the
- 5:12castle, and in the middle of the night she awoke and they were
- 5:18angels in her room, several of them.
- 5:19She remembered the description of them with such incredible
- 5:26detail. I've often thought to myself,
- 5:30would I remember that much detail about an experience when
- 5:33I was seven years old? But I suppose if Angel showed up
- 5:36in my bedroom, I may have remembered that.
- 5:38But what she didn't know at the time was that her little brother
- 5:41was dying. He had was born with a birth
- 5:43defect and it did kill him. So at this time when this
- 5:47happened, she was 7 and he was 3 and he died later that year.
- 5:51Again, I didn't know any of this when I met her, but I learned
- 5:54all of this later. That castle is Brand Castle,
- 5:59which if you go to Bucharest, Romania, is a tourist attraction
- 6:02to this day. If you go to their website, it's
- 6:04actually quite impressive. And that castle also happened to
- 6:08be the inspiration for the entire story of Dracula.
- 6:13So there's a lot of historical reference to this woman and her
- 6:19story. During the war, she built
- 6:21hospitals. She took care of just the worst
- 6:25of the worst situations. And as tough as we think we have
- 6:28it today with the things that we face, we don't know what it's
- 6:33like to live in an area that's completely bombed out and people
- 6:37walking around with no shoes in the winter and things like that.
- 6:41We, we can't even wrap our head around that kind of horror.
- 6:45But when you read stories of people who overcame that and
- 6:49instead of it tearing them apart, it built their strength
- 6:53and their and their love for Christ and their faith, it's
- 6:57just really an overwhelming feeling.
- 6:59And so I carried all of this with me.
- 7:03Tessa, can I cause you to? Do you have music playing in the
- 7:06background? Yeah, there's some Christmas
- 7:09music on You Want Me? To can you turn it off or turn
- 7:12it down? Because it's it's overpowering
- 7:14you in a couple of spots. Really.
- 7:15OK, I'll do it right now. Hold on.
- 7:17Sorry about that. I had had it turned down and
- 7:19actually had the door shut, but I suppose it was louder than I
- 7:23thought. Sorry.
- 7:24It was, that's alright. It was just that song.
- 7:26It like it. When it came on I was like, oh,
- 7:27I hear music all of a sudden. Yeah, Josh Grogan's got that
- 7:30kind of voice. He does.
- 7:31I love Josh Groban, so go ahead and pick.
- 7:33No, I was kind of at the end of that particular part there.
- 7:37So anyway, go ahead. So go ahead and just pick up
- 7:41where you left off and. Well, again, it, it was just the
- 7:44power of her story that captivated me.
- 7:48And, and I suppose, you know, really, Wesley, that I had had
- 7:53this thing deep in my heart for many years.
- 7:56And so then what happened was about a year and a half ago, my
- 8:01husband and I were, we were at a wedding and before the wedding,
- 8:04we met with some friends. And these are very good friends
- 8:07of ours. And one of my friends had just
- 8:09written a children's book and she was presenting it to us and
- 8:13showing it to us. She actually wrote it during
- 8:15COVID so she wouldn't lose her mind.
- 8:17The first thing that came out of my husband's mouth was, well,
- 8:21that's really cool, Pam. But you know, Tessa's had a book
- 8:23in her head for as long as I've known her, and she's just never
- 8:26put pen to paper. And it was about guardian
- 8:29angels. I'm an Eastern Orthodox
- 8:31Christian, and when you enter an Eastern Orthodox Church, we
- 8:35don't have statues. The Roman Catholic Church has
- 8:38statues. We have icons.
- 8:41We call them basically windows to heaven.
- 8:44And they are depictions of people who lived before us.
- 8:49None of them are fictitious. We don't worship them.
- 8:51We venerate them. And on the altar there of any
- 8:56Orthodox Church, you will see an icon of the Angel Michael, who
- 9:01is the warrior Archangel, and the Angel Gabriel who is the
- 9:05Messenger Archangel. Those are the 2 angels that most
- 9:09people know about. But throughout the service, the
- 9:15Divine Liturgy, you hear words about angels in the prayers, you
- 9:21hear about the cherubim and the seraphim in the hymns.
- 9:25And angels have always kind of been around me.
- 9:28And I never really thought about it until all of this kind of
- 9:34came together for me, that they really are all around us and
- 9:38they do provide heavenly protection for us.
- 9:41We are taught that when you are born, you are assigned a
- 9:44guardian Angel, and that Angel stays with you for your entire
- 9:47life. You're not assigned another one.
- 9:49You're only assigned one. They are of the nine classes of
- 9:53angels, guardian angels are the lowest.
- 9:56Archangels are like #3 there are different levels of angels.
- 10:01And so all of this is biblical, By the way, angels are mentioned
- 10:06almost 200 times in the New Testament and depending on which
- 10:11Old Testament you ascribe to anywhere between 111 and 279
- 10:18times in the Old Testament. So everything that we know about
- 10:23angels is very solid. And getting back to the the icon
- 10:27thing, one other thing I wanted to mention is the first person,
- 10:31whoever painted an icon was Saint Luke.
- 10:36And the first icon that he painted was that of the Virgin
- 10:39Mary. So it's very much a part of the
- 10:42Eastern Orthodox religion. When you go into a church,
- 10:45you'll see angels everywhere. So they've always been around
- 10:48me. And it wasn't really until I
- 10:52gave some thought to this story. And I wish that every child knew
- 10:59and actually every adult knew that we have a guardian Angel
- 11:03that really does watch over us and that they have been assigned
- 11:07to us. When, you know, you mentioned
- 11:08that you were a veteran and thank you for your service.
- 11:15I have two sons. That better?
- 11:17Well, actually, one's technically not a veteran.
- 11:20He's still somewhat active duty. He's National Guard now.
- 11:24He just went from active duty to National Guard.
- 11:27But when my older son was deployed into Iraq during Bush's
- 11:32first surge in 2007, I read Psalm 91 every day.
- 11:37It's known as the Soldiers Psalm, and it specifically talks
- 11:40about heavenly protection and his wings over you to protect
- 11:45you. So again, they've just kind of
- 11:48weaved in my life, my whole life.
- 11:51And that's kind of how the story came to be.
- 11:54That's fascinating. You know, you're this episode is
- 11:57centered on, you know, prevention and helping children
- 12:00develop the faith and emotional security before life hits hard.
- 12:04Why do you believe that early early have?
- 12:11Why do you believe early spiritual formation is so
- 12:14crucial for kids today? Wow.
- 12:18Well, it's interesting. My husband is in a field where
- 12:22he helps people to understand who they are.
- 12:26In that we have an identity and we have roles and your identity
- 12:32is who God created you to be. You are made in the image of
- 12:37God. We are all made in the image of
- 12:38God. Whether we believe in Him or not
- 12:40or not, we are all made in His image.
- 12:42And so on our identity side, we are always an I-10 10 out of 10.
- 12:49On the role side, however, we have many roles.
- 12:52We are friends, we are husbands, we are wives, we are parents, we
- 12:57are children, we are sisters, we are friends.
- 13:00And sometimes our role performance, especially at work,
- 13:03maybe isn't A10. But many people associate their
- 13:08identity with their role performance.
- 13:12And we're not always a 10 on the role side.
- 13:15Sometimes we're about a three. Sometimes we don't even want to
- 13:18think about it. But the problem that many people
- 13:21have is that they they use that bad role performance and they
- 13:28take it on personally that I'm a bad person or I'm not a good
- 13:32believer, or I'm not a good Christian or I'm not a good
- 13:35whatever. I'm not a good mother.
- 13:36Well, maybe every day. I'm not a good mother.
- 13:38I probably haven't been a good mother every day.
- 13:42And I mean, yeah, I mean, God's the only one that's perfect.
- 13:48That's why we have a God. Children have to understand the
- 13:53importance that they are made in God's image and that they're
- 13:58loved so much that there is an Angel with them all the time.
- 14:03And I would venture to say that broken children become broken
- 14:07adults. And many people who might be
- 14:10listening to this may be feeling like they're broken.
- 14:14And all I can say to you is you're no more broken than the
- 14:17rest of us. And we just need to remember
- 14:21that we are children of God. We are made in his image.
- 14:23He loves us more than anybody else on this planet could love
- 14:26us, even our own parents. And that he wants the best for
- 14:30us and that he wants to all be saved and no one be lost.
- 14:34And that he does send messengers to carry our prayers to him, to
- 14:39the to his throne. We have intercessors and we're
- 14:44never alone. And that was really the story
- 14:48that I'm trying to convey in my my storybook.
- 14:51There are two different parts where both major characters of
- 14:55the character who plays Princess Ileana.
- 14:57Her name is Elizabeth and her little brother is Prince
- 15:01Brenner. And there are parts in the story
- 15:04where both of them literally are on their knees praying.
- 15:08And so I want children to know that prayer is a normal thing in
- 15:13a Christian home. If we're not praying before we
- 15:16eat or praying before we go to bed or praying before when we
- 15:19wake up or praying throughout the day.
- 15:22I remember when I used to carpool, I had Christian radio
- 15:25on all the time just to be a a constant reminder ought to be
- 15:28praying all day long. So whatever it takes for you to
- 15:31get to that point, make it intentional in your life.
- 15:35It's important. And again, broken children
- 15:38become broken adults. So when you become a parent, you
- 15:40realize I brought this child into the world the next 20
- 15:45years. They're not mine, they're
- 15:46theirs. And if I'm not willing to put in
- 15:50what I'm supposed to put in to raise them in the way that they
- 15:53should go, you know, I think that's something we're all going
- 15:57to have to answer to one day. But on the other side of the
- 16:01coin, again, we're not perfect parents.
- 16:05We all make mistakes. And we all need to learn how to
- 16:08say, I'm sorry and forgive me, but the sooner we do that, the
- 16:12better. And when our children see that
- 16:14we also are not perfect, then they will not feel that they
- 16:18need to be perfect either. Yeah, that's that.
- 16:22That's a great point because that's something I, I say quite
- 16:25frequently on this show. It's very easy for us to say,
- 16:29well, this happened to me. And so that automatically makes
- 16:32me a bad guy, a bad girl, a a bad dad, a bad mom, a bad
- 16:36whatever. And we let it define who we are
- 16:40moving forward. Whatever happened in that one
- 16:43moment now define the rest of our lives.
- 16:46And if I frequently say this, it's kind of become my calling
- 16:49card, if you will. And that is that you are not
- 16:52defined by the things that have happened to you.
- 16:54You're not defined by the things that you've done.
- 16:56And you're not defined by the way you were brought up.
- 16:59You're defined only by who you say you are.
- 17:02And more importantly, you're defined by who God says you are.
- 17:04And we are all broken people. None of us are perfect.
- 17:08We're all going to make mistakes.
- 17:10It's what we do with those mistakes.
- 17:12And, and today I think it's just having kids, my, my own, like
- 17:16it's, it's very easy to see you see the world through a
- 17:19different perspective. You know, you, you see the
- 17:23brokenness out there. And it's our natural instinct to
- 17:26want to protect them, to shield them, to do everything we can to
- 17:30keep them safe. But that's just not possible.
- 17:32The world's broken. It always has been.
- 17:36And I often hear people say, well, it's more broken today
- 17:39than it was when I was growing up.
- 17:41And I question, I'm like, is it really more broken today?
- 17:44Or is it just broken differently because technology has advanced
- 17:50all these different things? It's still the same world.
- 17:52It's still a broken fallen world.
- 17:54It's just the times have changed a little bit.
- 17:56We have different technology, you know, different things like
- 17:58that. And so when you think about
- 18:00protecting your kids, your grandkids, what tips would you
- 18:04give to a parent, a grandparent that has their kids at home and
- 18:09they're saying, and this world's just really broken.
- 18:11I don't even know how to protect them and raise them up to
- 18:15realize that it's OK to not be OK.
- 18:18What advice would you give to that person?
- 18:21Wow. Well, because like right now,
- 18:24all of my children are grown adults.
- 18:26I only have one right now that has children.
- 18:28My youngest just got married about a month ago.
- 18:35All I can tell you is that when when my children were younger.
- 18:39I mean, obviously all of us have things from our own childhood
- 18:43that we look back on without, without any fondness.
- 18:47And so I think in some ways we try and improve our children's
- 18:52lives because of what we didn't have.
- 18:54And I remember one time calling my dad out, Dad turned to me and
- 19:00he said, he said, you know, Tessa, your mom and I are not
- 19:05perfect. And we've made, we made, we have
- 19:08made some mistakes. But so are you going to make
- 19:10your mistakes? So be very careful when you
- 19:15judge what somebody else is doing or saying or thinking or
- 19:20did or whatever. And so we can only try and
- 19:25envelope them with the kind of love that Christ shows us, which
- 19:30is unconditional love. And that goes back to what I was
- 19:34saying before about identities and roles.
- 19:37Your child misbehaves. So rather than telling them
- 19:39they're bad, you attack their behavior and you share with them
- 19:45that they are not behaving the way that they're supposed to
- 19:47behave. Or you're acting like a brat
- 19:52instead of you're a brat. There's a huge difference.
- 19:57I know somebody whose father used to tell him he was lazy.
- 20:00He wasn't lazy, he was displaying lazy behavior.
- 20:03And so when he grew up, he became this workaholic because
- 20:08he had to overcome his father telling him he was lazy.
- 20:11So our words are powerful. The whole book of James has so
- 20:16much in it. But that one chapter about how,
- 20:21like, the tongue can be like a rudderless ship and like a
- 20:24knife, and it can be very biting.
- 20:27So when we say things that we regret that we've said,
- 20:30especially where our children are concerned, we need to own
- 20:33it. We need to apologize.
- 20:35We need to fall on the sword. We need to be humble enough to
- 20:39show them that it's OK to acknowledge I'm not perfect.
- 20:44We all all fall short of God's glory.
- 20:48That's part of who we are. We can't control what happens,
- 20:52but we can control how we handle what happens.
- 20:55And the sooner that they learn that and it's reinforced because
- 21:01that's not a one. That's not a one one stop that
- 21:05that's got to be repeated. And so I'd like to think that
- 21:09I'm not kind of a was that kind of a parent to my children, you
- 21:14know, grandchildren. That's a whole nother because
- 21:17you really do want to spoil them.
- 21:19But at the same time, when you see negative behavior there, I
- 21:23know with one of my granddaughters, she's just,
- 21:26she's so high spirited and I don't want to snuff out the high
- 21:30spiritedness, but when she becomes disrespectful, I have to
- 21:34kind of let her know. That was really not a very nice
- 21:38thing to say to your sister or to me or to your mom or to
- 21:42whoever. It's how you say it.
- 21:45And that takes practice and it takes a lot of personal
- 21:48humility. And that's probably one of my
- 21:52biggest goals because probably, you know, here I feel like I'm a
- 21:57confession or something. One of my biggest sins is, is is
- 22:00pride. And pride is at the center of
- 22:04everything. The Greek word for me is ego.
- 22:09And that's the way we get the word ego.
- 22:12Our ego needs to be really calmed down and so being being
- 22:19humble is probably my biggest goal now with the years that God
- 22:23gives me left on this planet, I really want to become a more
- 22:26humble servant and I would that everybody else would would
- 22:30possibly. I mean it.
- 22:31It's really hard to look in the mirror and see yourself as
- 22:34self-centered and as egotistical as we can be and how prideful we
- 22:39can be and wanting to be right. And you know, well, guess what?
- 22:45We don't live in that world. Yeah, I think pride is a is an
- 22:48issue for all of us. I mean, again, that goes back to
- 22:51just being human, right? No one wants to admit they're
- 22:53wrong, especially an adult. Admitting they were wrong to a
- 22:57kid like that is just the hardest thing to do.
- 23:00I know what I've had to do it to my own kids.
- 23:01But hey, you know, dad was wrong.
- 23:03I'm sorry. That's talking about eating a
- 23:05piece of humble pie. Like that's not easy to do.
- 23:08It's not. And but it's so important
- 23:11because it demonstrates to them that it's OK to fail and it's
- 23:14just have to admit it and own up to it and move on with life.
- 23:18And then that becomes their norm because they see even a big
- 23:22person can be wrong. But guess what?
- 23:26I'm not. I'm not only wrong, I'm big
- 23:28enough to say I was wrong. And that is a it's huge to a
- 23:33child. That is a monumental moment for
- 23:35them that they'll never forget really.
- 23:37So we can't under score that. Absolutely.
- 23:40As a mother and grandmother, what practices or rhythms have
- 23:44you found to be most helpful in nurturing kids emotionally so
- 23:49that they're healthy and spiritually grounded to help
- 23:53prepare them for adulthood? Well, we were fortunate enough
- 23:57to be able to send our children early on to Christian schools
- 24:01where prayer every day was a norm, just like it was at home.
- 24:07But yeah, you have to be. You have to be involved in the
- 24:13church. You have to be involved in Bible
- 24:15study. You have to be involved in
- 24:16prayer. You have to be involved in
- 24:19choosing to say and do the right things in front of your children
- 24:23because they are imitators of you.
- 24:26I'm sure we all have a story where our child came out with
- 24:29something and we thought to ourself, Oh my gosh, I know
- 24:32right where that came from. And you know, it's just again,
- 24:37it's comes back to being humble because it's easy to not have
- 24:40time to have your quiet time in the morning or to read them a
- 24:46story at night that pleases their soul and gives them
- 24:51peaceful rest. Night time is really when Satan
- 24:54loves to be involved in our lives, even with children.
- 24:58And so I would say I remember I used to rock my children to
- 25:04sleep when they were babies and I would sing to them and they
- 25:08even remember those songs that I've never even gotten rid of
- 25:11that rocking chair because I don't have the heart to do it.
- 25:14Not even an expensive chair. It's made out of wood, but I
- 25:18just cannot part with that chair.
- 25:20But singing to them, reading stories to them when we would go
- 25:23to Christian schools, like they have memory verses every week
- 25:27that we would have to memorize and having them test on the way
- 25:31into school with whoever else was in the car, in the carpool.
- 25:35I remember my daughter had to memorize Psalm 100, make a
- 25:39joyful noise unto the Lord, and it was a Thanksgiving song and
- 25:44that was beautiful. And she recited that that
- 25:47Thanksgiving. And I mean it brought tears to
- 25:49my eyes to hear a child recite scripture.
- 25:51There's nothing more precious. And then the story of Luke,
- 25:55that's on the famous Charlie Brown cartoon where Linus talks
- 26:00about this is what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
- 26:03And it's the whole entry from Luke, you know, Savior, who is
- 26:09Christ the Lord. Everybody remembers little lines
- 26:12like that. But when your children say, say
- 26:16those and they, they're knit in their heart, they really never
- 26:20leave them. And I've even heard stories.
- 26:23I actually heard a story once at a women's conference.
- 26:27The speaker was saying that she was in a dressing room of a
- 26:31clothing store one time and a gentleman came in.
- 26:33A gentleman, a man came in with a gun and he started robbing
- 26:37everybody. And she was in the dressing
- 26:39room. So she's like quickly got her
- 26:41clothes on. And she said, I don't know what
- 26:44happened to me, but I just walked out of the dressing room
- 26:46and I walked right up to the man with a gun.
- 26:48And I said, in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I
- 26:53demand that you stop what you're doing right now.
- 26:57And she said the man dropped the gun and he burst into tears as
- 27:06the police were taking him away. He turned to the woman and he
- 27:08said, your words bring back my grandmother talking to me as a
- 27:14child. So we really don't know the
- 27:17power of Scripture and the power of God's presence and calling it
- 27:23out, calling out loud. If you can't sleep, go in the
- 27:28other room and call him out loud.
- 27:29Tell him to leave you. And my understanding is that
- 27:32Satan can't read your mind, but he can't hear your words.
- 27:35Christ can read your mind. God can read your mind, but
- 27:38Satan cannot. So getting back to your
- 27:41question, it's just the regularity of practices.
- 27:44But if you're not doing them yourself regularly, your
- 27:48children will see it as being a show.
- 27:50You really need to kind of rein it in and recognize I brought
- 27:53this child under the world. This child deserves the next 20
- 27:57years of my life. Man, that's some good stuff
- 27:59right there. I never heard that story before
- 28:01about the lady in the dressing room, but that's powerful.
- 28:04It's just, and you know, something I often say is, you
- 28:08know, you have this random thought pop into your head and
- 28:12you never know why it popped into your head.
- 28:15You know, it could be as simple as something is.
- 28:18I mean, for her, I was going that walking out of the dressing
- 28:21room up to an armed man hold like that, that that's just
- 28:25crazy. But you know, it is.
- 28:29But there's face. That that woman had.
- 28:32Absolutely. But it could be as simple as,
- 28:34you know, I can just hear somebody now.
- 28:36Well, I'm never going to. Well, OK, you might not have
- 28:39that opportunity, but it could be just as simple as a name that
- 28:43pops into your head. I often will have a name pop
- 28:46into my head and I'll just, I'll just, I'll pull up my phone and
- 28:48I'll send them a text back. Hey, you know, this just you,
- 28:51you popped in my mind just thinking about you.
- 28:53How can I pray for you? You know, let's connect
- 28:55whatever. It's been a while and 9 out of
- 28:5710 times the person's grateful to hear from you.
- 29:00And most of the time I get a thank you so much.
- 29:03Here's what you can pray for me. Here's what's going on.
- 29:06I really need this, you know, and God puts people on your mind
- 29:09for a reason. And you just have to have the
- 29:11faith and the the awareness of it to act on it, because you
- 29:18never know the reason that something has brought to mind.
- 29:21And sometimes it's his Angel that he's using that Angel to
- 29:25communicate to you. I remember when I was a child,
- 29:28we watched these cartoons on Saturday morning and there was
- 29:31one cartoon that had like the good Angel on one shoulder and
- 29:34the bad Angel on the other shoulder.
- 29:36And they were like fighting back and forth.
- 29:38Do this. No, do this.
- 29:39No one is telling you to do the good thing and the other one's
- 29:42telling you. There's a really a lot of truth
- 29:44to that. It's it's kind of amusing when
- 29:49you really think about how it's depicted in a cartoon, but there
- 29:52really is a lot of truth to that.
- 29:55And so and, and even I had a friend tell me just the other
- 29:59day, she said, Tessa, I opened my car door and there was a
- 30:02feather, a white feather in my car.
- 30:06And they say that if you see, if you find a feather, that it's
- 30:10your Angel saying I'm here. Just because we can't see them
- 30:16doesn't make them not here. It's part of the angelic host
- 30:20that we think about at Christmas time that we don't think about
- 30:23any other time. But they're very real and
- 30:26they're very scriptural. Never heard that before.
- 30:29You know, many children today and really children always, but
- 30:35I'll just say today because we're in today, you know, many
- 30:37children struggle with fear, anxiety, uncertainty, you know,
- 30:41those types of things. What are some practical ways
- 30:44that parents can help their kids feel safe and secure and loved
- 30:49and guided, especially if they're in the middle of a
- 30:52stressful season? Well, obviously praying over
- 30:55them, praying with them. I mean, when they see their
- 30:58parents praying, they that translate as this is normal
- 31:02behavior. We, we create their normal.
- 31:05So that's why our habits are so important.
- 31:08And like I said, you know, not everybody can wake up every
- 31:10morning and read scripture and let their children see them
- 31:13praying and all of those things they intuitively pick up on
- 31:17things like that. They know before you say, well,
- 31:20we're going to do this. Why don't you say, well, God
- 31:22willing, we're going to do this because God wills everything
- 31:26again. It's then the words that you
- 31:28use, the phrases that you use, they're very powerful and what
- 31:31they see growing up becomes their normal.
- 31:33Absolutely. That's something that's very
- 31:35important is to to set those normal behaviors early and then
- 31:40keep them going throughout the childhood.
- 31:42And I know that's something my parents did growing up.
- 31:45It was always prayer was always a part of our lives.
- 31:48Going to church was always a part of our lives.
- 31:50Now, granted, I do come from a ministry household.
- 31:52My dad was a full time pastor, evangelist, and so church was
- 31:56just a part of it as a kid, you know, it was very impactful for
- 32:01me. And when things weren't going
- 32:03well, instead of stressing out, my parents would often say we
- 32:06just have to trust God with it. And then they did it and they
- 32:11just at time and time again, we would see God provide.
- 32:14And now in my adulthood, you know, in my adult life, I have
- 32:18things going on where I'm like, well, I just have to trust God
- 32:21with it and he'll provide and he always has.
- 32:24But I thought that's not the first instinct for most people.
- 32:28And I can only credit my parents with that because that's how I
- 32:32was brought up, was just to trust God when things get tough.
- 32:35But he'll. Provide.
- 32:37Exactly that was that's just my normal and I have people today
- 32:41that often will tell, say, Wes, how do you do that?
- 32:43How do you have that level of trust?
- 32:46And well, you know, it comes not only from the example, but it
- 32:51also comes from seeing it played out time and time again and
- 32:55seeing God actually come through and provide when we did trust
- 32:59him. And he likes that he always has.
- 33:01So that's that's that's good, good.
- 33:04A good tip there. Well, tell us a little bit more
- 33:07about your book. Your book is meant to pass on
- 33:10faith and hope and resilience to future generations.
- 33:13Tell us more about it. What's the name of it?
- 33:14Where can people find it? OK, the book is called The Angel
- 33:18Feather and it's about 900 words long.
- 33:23It's basically for 4 to 8 year olds.
- 33:25I do have a companion coloring book.
- 33:27When my illustrator did the pictures, I had him strip out
- 33:31the color to create a coloring book and at the end I have like
- 33:35a crossword puzzle, some mazes, word search, just different fun
- 33:39little things for children to play with so that they can
- 33:42really experience the story. Obviously for an 8 year old is a
- 33:46pretty big span, so some of the pictures are better for four
- 33:50year olds than some of the things like the crossword puzzle
- 33:53are is probably better for an 8 year old because in order to
- 33:56answer the questions to the crossword puzzle, you have to
- 33:59read the book. So the book is available on my
- 34:02website and on Amazon.com. My website is
- 34:06www.evangelospress.com and the webs.
- 34:11And then of course you can just type in the Angel feather or the
- 34:14Angel feather coloring book at Amazon.com.
- 34:18And it's been out almost three months.
- 34:21I'm pleased so far. I've had good sales.
- 34:23I've got a lot of great reviews on both Goodreads and Amazon.
- 34:28I've done several fundraisers where I've been fortunate enough
- 34:32to provide books for a lot of homeless children who are the
- 34:35least among us today, and there's more of them than I'd
- 34:39like to think about. But I look forward to any
- 34:42opportunity to share the story of hope that our guardian angels
- 34:47give us, as well as just this fun little story.
- 34:51It's a very sweet story. Again, I've got, you know, the
- 34:53two main characters are praying in it.
- 34:56And it's a very simple story, but it's a very loving story.
- 35:01One of the reasons that I was really driven to write it was
- 35:06because I think that I've noticed with parents,
- 35:09grandparents, teachers, librarians, there's kind of a
- 35:13vacuum right now in good children's literature.
- 35:16We see books for kids today, like even some of the cartoons
- 35:19for kids today that we would never have seen when we were
- 35:22children. And it's kind of off the wall
- 35:25stuff. Plus, AI is now creating books.
- 35:28People can create books out of AI that have no story at all.
- 35:32They have no plot at all, They have no good character
- 35:35development at all. And at the same time, we're
- 35:37removing some of the classics from library.
- 35:40So it's important, I think, in keeping with everything we've
- 35:45been discussing to surround our children with good literature.
- 35:49It's out there and it is available.
- 35:53Sometimes you have to search for it a little bit harder.
- 35:56But you know, one thing, Wesley, that I will share is that when
- 36:01my older son was deployed in Iraq, this isn't about, I'm
- 36:06going to say it was around 2007. And he came home and he told me
- 36:10about a lot of the guys he served with.
- 36:13And it really struck him that not everybody who enlisted in
- 36:18the Army before the Iraq War was raised the way he was.
- 36:23Matter of fact, some of the guys actually thought he was nuts
- 36:25that he left all that he grew up with, where in their situations
- 36:32they enlisted because it was a better choice than staying where
- 36:35they were, which is heartbreaking to me.
- 36:40But for me it was a reality call of how many, again, broken
- 36:45adults there are because they have broken childhoods.
- 36:49And we can't fix everybody. God can fix everybody, but we
- 36:54can't. But what we can do is start at
- 36:57an early age again to bring them up the way that they're supposed
- 37:02to go. And when they grow old, they
- 37:03will not depart from it. And so the sooner we start to
- 37:08break that cycle, the better, the better things are.
- 37:13So that is a lot of the impetus behind why I am trying
- 37:19desperately to get my book out there.
- 37:21Because I know there are so many children in need and there are
- 37:24so many parents who would be comforted to know that even as
- 37:27an adult, they have an Angel watching over them.
- 37:31And when they pray, that Angel carries their prayers to heaven.
- 37:35And when they want to communicate, angels are God's
- 37:38messengers. That's what the word aguilos
- 37:40means. The Greek word for angels is
- 37:42aguilos, and that that means messenger.
- 37:46And they are real and they are with us.
- 37:48And we may not be able to see them, but they are very much
- 37:51here. That's good stuff.
- 37:52The last question I have for you is the end of every episode.
- 37:56I love to leave my listeners with an action step and so when
- 38:00you think about raising up kids and making sure that they are
- 38:04emotionally ready, they're spiritually ready, you know, all
- 38:08that fun stuff, what is 1 action step that the listeners can take
- 38:13today to start moving in that direction?
- 38:17Pray without ceasing, not just praying for them, but praying
- 38:20with them. Let them see you at the at the
- 38:25footstool of God asking for His grace and mercy on a daily
- 38:29basis. Again, what we do is what they
- 38:32will do. Our norm becomes their norm.
- 38:35Love it, love it. Well, thank you, Tessa, so much
- 38:37for being with us today here on Unmasked and, and sharing your
- 38:41story and about your book and providing the listeners with
- 38:44some insights as some things that they can do in order to
- 38:47ensure that their children are being brought up so that they
- 38:50are emotionally healthy and spiritually healthy to prepare
- 38:54them for adulthood. Yeah, one last recommendation.
- 38:59When I started deep diving about angels because I wanted to do
- 39:03some real research before I I started feeling like I had any
- 39:09opinion. Billy Graham and Doctor David
- 39:12Jeremiah have both written excellent books on angels, so I
- 39:18would highly recommend if you have any doubts.
- 39:22Both of those books are excellent.
- 39:23OK, well listeners, if you want more information on Tessa or how
- 39:27to find her book, check the show notes down below or on your
- 39:31screen depending on where you're looking or watching us today,
- 39:35and I'll have those links there so that you can find her easily
- 39:38and find that book. Thank you, listeners, for
- 39:45joining me today on Unmasked. Huge thanks again to Tessa for
- 39:49sharing. If something on this episode
- 39:51spoke to you, don't let it stop with you.
- 39:53Share it with one person that God put on your heart while you
- 39:56were listening. You never know where a
- 39:58breakthrough might start simply because you shared a message.
- 40:02If you want more encouragement or more information on me and
- 40:05having me speak at your church or events, you can find
- 40:08everything about me at wesleyfarnsworth.com.
- 40:11And make sure you join the Unmasked community by connecting
- 40:13with me on social media so we can walk this journey together.
- 40:17Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past,
- 40:22and real freedom begins the moment that we choose to live
- 40:25unmasked. God bless you.